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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school and here
00:00:18he is standing outside my dorm room naked. Out of the way! What are you doing? Look I'll explain later
00:00:28please don't tell her that I'm here. Tell who? Trevor? Please what's your name again? Martha!
00:00:33Trevor where the hell are you? Please Martha she's psycho. She's psycho? You're literally hiding under my bed naked.
00:00:40Look I'll owe you one okay just get rid of her and I'll do anything. Okay I'm just tucking your head. Thank you.
00:00:47Where is he? Where is who? Trevor. I saw him running this way. Gosh I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:56Trevor Holt. Football player. Huge. No doesn't ring any balls. I mean bells. You're lying.
00:01:05Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is. Even girls like you.
00:01:11I haven't seen him. Also you've got a little. I'm watching you.
00:01:18Granny panties? Seriously? How many of those boner killers do you own? None of your business. Cover up.
00:01:33No thanks for handling that Tilla situation. She's become a bit of an issue. Why did she ask for something like commitment?
00:01:41Oh actually she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend. I don't like her like that. She doesn't get the hint.
00:01:46She jumped me in the shower. I'm sorry I didn't. Anyway. What'll it be? Huh?
00:01:52I said I owed you one. I'm a man of my word.
00:02:00This is my chance. A favor from Trevor Holt. And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:06What can I do you for Martha? Drew Longhorn. Drew Longhorn? Yeah. Drew Longhorn.
00:02:12What about Drew Longhorn? I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:17Sorry. Why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn? He was my lab partner freshman year. We had
00:02:25chemistry. You had chemistry. Yes. Okay. You want his attention? Then we'll get his attention. But
00:02:35not in that. The guys like Drew they only go for one kind of girl and it's not. Forget it.
00:02:40Hey. No. Let's just forget the whole thing. Hey. I'm an ass. Okay. I just meant that this stuff doesn't
00:02:47play up your assets. You know? You're really pretty. We need to show it. You're messing with me. I'm not.
00:02:54I swear. You're just going to have to trust me.
00:03:01Okay. First, you show up at the party with me. Everyone's going to notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:05And second, we need to go shopping. Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four, go!
00:03:13One, two, three, four, go!
00:03:23Ta-da. Where did you get all this?
00:03:25That was my one-night stand box. Go on. Take your pick. That was my one-night stand box.
00:03:32Go on. Take your pick.
00:03:33No, thank you. I'm not parading around in your hookup trophies.
00:03:39What? These aren't trophies. These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:44It's also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn. So.
00:03:48I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:51I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:56No. Come on, Martha. This stuff's hot. Come on. Just wear it. Trust me. I've worn it.
00:04:06I haven't worn it. I lied. I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts. Turn around.
00:04:15Are your eyes closed? Oh yeah. Totally.
00:04:26Okay. Turn around.
00:04:39Wow. Trevor!
00:04:42What? There's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:44Just get dressed, please.
00:04:45And as you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:47Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:50Oh my god. Did I just tell Trevor Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:05:00No. I'm not doing this.
00:05:11Okay. I guess I'm doing this?
00:05:13All right. There's three things I need you to remember, okay? Three simple tricks to get any
00:05:23man's attention. You listening?
00:05:25Yep.
00:05:25Okay. One, eye contact. Not like that. And two, you need to smile at him.
00:05:35Oh, come on. This is serious.
00:05:36I'm very serious.
00:05:38All right. And three, find a casual way to touch him. You know, quick hand on the arm. You know,
00:05:43brush it on his bicep. You know, he'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:46Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:49Because this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here, okay? All he does is play games.
00:05:58You ready?
00:06:02Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:03Wow. That was really good. I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:10I spoke too soon. I got it.
00:06:13Thanks.
00:06:28Hey everyone! This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:31He's kidding everyone. We're just friends.
00:06:35Oh, Marmar, stop being so coy. We're in love.
00:06:39What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:40Just trust me. If Drew thinks we're together, it'll pique his interest.
00:06:43Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:46It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone. Especially if that someone is me.
00:06:50Who's gonna believe this anyway? Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:55No. Guys like me don't like commitment, remember?
00:06:57Trev, what's up, man?
00:07:01I see you brought a friend.
00:07:05Yeah, this is a-
00:07:06You look familiar. Have we met?
00:07:08Yeah, we had chemistry. We had science class. We were lab partners.
00:07:14Oh yeah. That class was such a joke, am I right?
00:07:17Yeah, definitely. Total joke. But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second. Two seconds. Got him.
00:07:29What did you say your name was again?
00:07:31Her name is Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey guys, we're playing a game of Drink or Dare in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:41Sure.
00:07:41No.
00:07:43Sweet. See you there.
00:07:45That was good, right?
00:07:49Have you played Drink or Dare before?
00:07:51No, but how hard can it be about this?
00:08:01Oh girl, your girlfriend's here.
00:08:04So what?
00:08:04So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:08:07So? Just ignore her.
00:08:09My turn.
00:08:10Tilla.
00:08:11Drink or Dare?
00:08:12I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:15Drink.
00:08:16I want you to drink with...
00:08:20Trevor.
00:08:21Okay.
00:08:23I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:26Drink.
00:08:27I want you to drink with...
00:08:31Trevor.
00:08:32Okay.
00:08:32I want you to drink with...
00:08:37Open up.
00:08:57Yum.
00:08:59Okay, my turn.
00:09:00You.
00:09:02Drink or Dare?
00:09:04Uh, Dare.
00:09:08Okay.
00:09:10I dare you to take off your panties and put them in the middle of the circle for the rest of the game.
00:09:18Hello?
00:09:19What are you waiting for?
00:09:21You don't have to do this.
00:09:22Yes, she does.
00:09:24Um, unfortunately I can't do that to Lila.
00:09:28Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:35You're up next, Martha.
00:09:37Drew.
00:09:38Drink or Dare?
00:09:40Drink.
00:09:42I want you to drink with me.
00:09:46My pleasure.
00:09:47This is my chance.
00:09:48my chance...
00:09:50to do what I've been dreaming about since freshman year.
00:09:54I should be happy.
00:10:21This is what I've always wanted, but...
00:10:27That was hot.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:30I hope I didn't make things weird between you two.
00:10:33No, it's fine.
00:10:35I always wondered what happened to you after that class.
00:10:38Never saw you around.
00:10:40I've seen Drew roughly 83 times since that class ended.
00:10:43Yeah, me too.
00:10:45I'd love to hang out sometime.
00:10:47Yeah, I'd like that.
00:10:48Great.
00:10:49Give me your number.
00:10:55I just sent you a special message.
00:10:57Let me know when you get it.
00:10:59Trev has my phone.
00:11:01I'll be right back.
00:11:05Okay.
00:11:07Who's next?
00:11:09Trevor?
00:11:15Trevor!
00:11:17Sorry.
00:11:20Trevor!
00:11:33You win, Tilla James.
00:11:35You win.
00:11:37You okay?
00:11:41I'm leaving.
00:11:43You can stay.
00:11:44I just need my phone.
00:11:45Okay, where's my cigarette?
00:11:47I'll walk you home.
00:11:48Well, get into me.
00:11:49No, you have to give them.
00:11:50I know that you have them.
00:11:51Your advice didn't work.
00:11:53Just so you know.
00:11:55This is probably for the best.
00:11:56You two never would have worked out.
00:11:57And why is that, Trevor?
00:11:58Is he too hot for me?
00:11:59Too popular.
00:12:00Or is it just pathetically obvious that I'm a frumpy nerd and a stolen sex dress?
00:12:01I don't know.
00:12:02I'm leaving.
00:12:03I'm leaving.
00:12:04You can stay.
00:12:05I just need my phone.
00:12:06Okay, where's my cigarette?
00:12:07I'll walk you home.
00:12:08I'll walk you home.
00:12:09Just so you know.
00:12:10This is probably for the best.
00:12:12You two never would have worked out.
00:12:14And why is that, Trevor?
00:12:16Is he too hot for me?
00:12:18Too popular?
00:12:20Or is it just pathetically obvious that I'm a frumpy nerd and a stolen sex dress?
00:12:25No.
00:12:27To all three.
00:12:28You wanna know my three reasons?
00:12:31Not particularly.
00:12:32One, he's a douche.
00:12:34Two, you're not a douche.
00:12:36You're doing great so far.
00:12:38Three, you guys had zero chemistry.
00:12:40That kiss was a hot mess.
00:12:42And I could tell you weren't that into it, so.
00:12:48You're right.
00:12:50It was kinda terrible.
00:12:53Oh, but that look on Tilla's face when you told her you weren't wearing any panties.
00:12:58Oh, priceless.
00:13:00How do you do it?
00:13:02Do what?
00:13:04Hide your emotions.
00:13:07They're just so easy to read.
00:13:11I noticed.
00:13:13I'm serious, Trevor.
00:13:14What's your secret?
00:13:16I wanna learn how to not care about anything like you do.
00:13:21There is no secret.
00:13:23It's just who I am, right?
00:13:25Oh, and before I forget.
00:13:33Hello?
00:13:46Tonight wasn't what I expected, but thank you.
00:13:50Oh, you don't have to thank me.
00:13:52I owed you one.
00:13:55I guess I missed that.
00:13:57No, I'm glad you knocked on my door.
00:13:59Oh, even after everything that happened tonight?
00:14:01Yeah, cause even though it was kind of awful, I got my first kiss.
00:14:09I'm gonna go.
00:14:12Goodnight, Trevor.
00:14:13That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:38That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:53And there it was.
00:14:55The thing I had been looking for.
00:14:58Chemistry.
00:14:59Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest you-know-what on campus.
00:15:05And me.
00:15:07The Virgin.
00:15:16Rumor has it that every girl on campus once drew Longhorn.
00:15:22Every girl except me.
00:15:25Because after last week, I could not be more over Drew.
00:15:31Martha.
00:15:32Mind if I join you?
00:15:34So, where did you run off to after the party on Saturday?
00:15:39I had to go home to study.
00:15:42I have a big test coming up.
00:15:43What are you up to later?
00:15:45Probably more studying.
00:15:47Why?
00:15:49The wet party.
00:15:51The wet party?
00:15:54It's only the most exclusive frat party on campus.
00:15:58So, of course, I've never been invited.
00:16:01What about it?
00:16:03You in?
00:16:05I've never even wanted to go to a party like this before.
00:16:08But it could be the perfect way to get over.
00:16:11Wait.
00:16:12Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:14Is Trevor gonna be there?
00:16:15Holt?
00:16:17Nah.
00:16:18He's been ghosting me.
00:16:19Then I'm in.
00:16:20Excellent.
00:16:23Oh!
00:16:24And bring a friend.
00:16:26A female friend?
00:16:30What are those?
00:16:32Guess who just got us tickets to the wet party.
00:16:37Since when do you find frat parties fun?
00:16:40I just wanted to try something different.
00:16:42Like being drooled over by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags?
00:16:45Maybe.
00:16:47Does this have anything to do with Trevor Holt?
00:16:49No.
00:16:51Yes.
00:16:52Okay.
00:16:54I just keep playing the night over and over in my head trying to see what went wrong.
00:16:58I mean, things were going so well.
00:17:01We had chemistry.
00:17:02How could he just walk out on me after I asked him to.
00:17:12You know.
00:17:14Take your virginity.
00:17:16Don't say that word.
00:17:17What word?
00:17:19What word?
00:17:20Virginity.
00:17:22There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, Ma.
00:17:24Tell it to Trevor.
00:17:25He hasn't talked to me since that night.
00:17:26Oh, screw him.
00:17:27That guy's got a reputation for a reason.
00:17:30I'm just so used to achieving everything I set my mind to.
00:17:34I've gotten straight A's, scholarships.
00:17:35Why can't I get a guy?
00:17:37I don't think it works that way, Ma.
00:17:39You're right.
00:17:40And you know what?
00:17:41Forget this stupid party.
00:17:42I'd rather study anyway.
00:17:44Oh, no.
00:17:45We're going to that party.
00:17:47We are?
00:17:48Yup.
00:17:49And forget these dumb books.
00:17:50All you need are Deb's three simple rules for getting over any guy.
00:17:54Deb's three simple rules.
00:17:55Shh.
00:18:03Step one.
00:18:04Dress to impress.
00:18:06Okay.
00:18:08But don't do it for any guy.
00:18:10Do it for you.
00:18:12Step one.
00:18:13Dress to impress.
00:18:14Check.
00:18:16Step two.
00:18:17Find someone new to flirt with.
00:18:18Basic prep bro.
00:18:19Check.
00:18:20That's true, Longhorn.
00:18:22He's cute.
00:18:24He's a chauvinist douchebag.
00:18:26You're what?
00:18:27Well, I mean, a girl can't look.
00:18:33Step three.
00:18:34To really get over a guy, you gotta put yourself out there.
00:18:37Show the world who Martha really is.
00:18:42Oh, what's wrong?
00:18:45I already did that, Deb.
00:18:46I put myself out there with Trevor.
00:18:48Showed him who I really am.
00:18:49And he rejected me.
00:18:50Yeah, but it's not-
00:18:51No.
00:18:53From now on, I'm a closed book.
00:18:57Great.
00:18:58This will be fun.
00:18:59wise,
00:19:00Be fun.
00:19:01False.
00:19:02Alright.
00:19:03Guys.
00:19:08Choc him out of clutch and it bust down.
00:19:10She don't let me, she just want me for the team, I know.
00:19:12I mean I did draw on a kick in that one lot of meddy.
00:19:15All the wins ready.
00:19:17You the new Betty.
00:19:19That is tough.
00:19:21Come on.
00:19:22Come on.
00:19:23Come on, guys.
00:19:24Trevor Holt he wasn't supposed to be here Trevor Holt he wasn't supposed to be here
00:19:44but now that he is Martha glad you could make it and you brought a friend
00:19:52Drew Longhorn in the flesh and you are Drew this is my best friend Deb it's a
00:20:01pleasure Debra what are you doing here hello to you too Trevor they're here with
00:20:09me Holt none of your concern can we talk alone I need a refill anyway Debra care
00:20:20to join me but you came here with Drew really why jealous after the kiss last
00:20:27week no he's right that was pretty much the worst kiss of all time I just
00:20:35thought it would be fun Martha this party these people it's not your thing oh yeah
00:20:41well maybe you don't know me as well as you think
00:20:43please you're an open book that's what I like about you Trevor up for a round of beer pong did someone
00:20:50say beer pong hello no maybe I'm not such an open book after all can't we talk about what happened
00:21:00there's nothing to talk about just give me a second to explain you who let you into this party who let
00:21:07you into this college have you ever even played beer pong before there's a first
00:21:11time for everything all right it's two to a team so who's it gonna be the clueless nerd or me her
00:21:20fine Drew you're on my team let's do this Debra are you in oh no I am gluten intolerant I'll just watch you sure
00:21:31positive you know what what's up the stakes what did you have in mind what about strip beer pong
00:21:40oh sweet come on Tila I'm game you know how to play beer pong what are the rules every time we sink a
00:21:50ball one of you removes a piece of clothing oh yeah and vice versa so if Trevor makes it
00:21:57nice trip seems easy enough come on Holt it's game time let's go ladies first
00:22:05hold on your form is way off may I
00:22:15okay that's not even fair you practically gave that one to her Trev you're not afraid of a little
00:22:35competition are you Tila oh ladies ladies let me show you both how it's done great job
00:22:50let me know all right Trevor you know the rules oh you are so lame you're up one other lesson I think I can
00:23:10handle myself I learned quick okay I called BS there's no way an amateur like her could have
00:23:19made that shot it's called studying Tila ever tried it just let me know game time
00:23:24I guess I win
00:23:29you cannot leave not now didn't you see what happened back there now everybody knows that Trevor hold the
00:23:40guy with the one-night stand box doesn't want to sleep with me oh Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor who cares
00:23:46Marr he told the entire school that he passed up the opportunity to sleep with you hey the Martha I
00:23:54know doesn't give up okay the Martha I know succeeds at everything she sets her mind to the Martha you
00:24:01know is also still into some guy who rejected her I should hate him but I don't I can't a part of me
00:24:11he still wants to be with him even after all that this is serious so hold my hand okay if Trevor
00:24:18can't see how amazing you are Marr then he doesn't deserve you but I know there's someone out there who
00:24:24does okay so just no no no like that okay great oh remember step three you got to keep putting yourself
00:24:33out there okay okay come on wait I have an idea wait where are you going I'm putting myself out there
00:24:50yeah yeah you got to go girl hey everybody listen up wow there's a lot of you okay um uh well my name is
00:25:07Martha and as you may have heard Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with me but there's more to me than
00:25:14that. So here it goes. Tilla James, you called me a clueless nerd. And you're right, I'm
00:25:23a huge nerd. I like to spend Saturday nights in my dorm room studying. I mean, last weekend
00:25:29was my first party. Can you believe that? I've been so busy studying that I think I've
00:25:33missed out on the important parts of college, like getting to know myself. I guess what
00:25:39I'm trying to say is I am clueless, especially when it comes to love. I've never slept with
00:25:50anyone or dated anyone, but I don't care that I'm a virgin because when the time is right,
00:25:58it will happen and it will be on my terms. And I don't care if somebody doesn't want to
00:26:03sleep with me or if somebody doesn't like me, because I like me just the way I am.
00:26:15Putting myself out there? Check. I can't believe I just told everyone on campus that I'm a virgin.
00:26:22Hi, I'm Trevor. Some of you may know me as something of a douche. I'll admit, I've been with a lot of
00:26:46girls, but that's only because before any of you knew me back in high school, someone broke my
00:26:53heart. When I got to college, I slept my way around campus to prevent myself from getting hurt again.
00:27:00I even developed a bit of a reputation, and I was fine with that. But the other night,
00:27:07everything changed when I met Martha.
00:27:10Martha, you're not just another one-night stand. You're amazing, and I'm sorry I pushed you away.
00:27:18I just, I didn't want to sleep with you because I wanted your first time to be special. And this may
00:27:24sound stupid coming from me, but I didn't want to rush it. I really, really like you, Martha. And I know
00:27:32I don't deserve it, but if you just, if you give me one more chance, I-
00:27:35Yes!
00:27:35What's that?
00:27:37I said yes. I will give you one more chance, Trevor Holt.
00:27:41Drew Longhorn! I think you're funny, charming, and secretly sweet, and hot, like so hot.
00:28:11Most of you already know me, but I'm Drew, and I really hate parties.
00:28:26Bro.
00:28:26Yeah, I always get nervous and wind up saying things I don't mean, making out with people
00:28:32I don't like.
00:28:33Bro.
00:28:34But today was different. Because today, I met someone I think I actually really do like.
00:28:40So maybe, I don't have to go to any more of these stupid parties. I do love drinking, though.
00:28:48Look, I know you guys think I'm like really mean or whatever, but that's just because I'm brutally
00:28:57honest. And if you don't like it, that's your problem.
00:29:01So there it is. That's how Trevor Holt, the hottest guy in school, started dating me, the virgin.
00:29:25But you'll just have to imagine the rest.
00:29:32I wonder if I look different now that I've...
00:29:41Hey, Dan!
00:29:59Oh my god, you did it, didn't you?
00:30:01Did what?
00:30:02You had sex with Trevor Holt!
00:30:05Why would you say that?
00:30:07Oh my god, you're glowing.
00:30:09I want all the deets.
00:30:11It happened.
00:30:12I'm not a virgin anymore.
00:30:18Where did you get that?
00:30:19I found it in Drew's closet this morning.
00:30:22What were you doing in Drew's closet this morning?
00:30:24Yeah, no, Mark, you're not changing the subject. So, how was it?
00:30:28It was nice.
00:30:30Is that his hat?
00:30:31Yeah, it still smells like him too.
00:30:35Oh my god, you're so in love.
00:30:38Oh, Deb, I have to hop on the study buddy Zoom. I'll call you later.
00:30:41Yeah, not a chance, Mar. You still have two minutes, so hurry up and dish the dirt.
00:30:46Fine. It was romantic.
00:30:50I mean, Trevor is an amazing kisser. He does the thing where he kissed along my jawline. Oh my god!
00:30:57Mark two minutes off of the kissing onto the good stone.
00:30:59The kissing was the good stuff.
00:31:03What? The sex wasn't good?
00:31:05It was...not the best.
00:31:08What way?
00:31:09Okay, so you know that rumor about Trevor about his...
00:31:12Yes! God, yes. Sorry. Yes, I know.
00:31:15So it's true? And it was kind of...uncomfortable?
00:31:21Yeah. Honestly, Mar, it's pretty uncomfortable for every girl their first time no matter what their size.
00:31:28I've just been dreaming about this moment for as long as I can remember and then it just happened. And it didn't feel great.
00:31:38I'm sorry, Mar. I wish they told us that. I wish I told you that! But I'm not lying when I say it does get better, though it just may never get better when Trevor.
00:31:49What do you mean?
00:31:50I mean, you gotta find the right match. Emotionally and physically. And then that's when things start getting real good.
00:32:00What if it wasn't good for him either?
00:32:03I'm sure it was good for him.
00:32:05How do you know?
00:32:06He gave you his hat!
00:32:09Yeah, but he hasn't responded to any of my texts this morning. What if he woke up and he realized he's over me?
00:32:16Okay, first of all, he's probably still asleep. And secondly, I'm sending you an article on this. It is very scientific.
00:32:23I'm just gonna keep trying.
00:32:25That's what the article says!
00:32:27I'm gonna keep having sex with Trevor until we get it right.
00:32:30That's the spirit!
00:32:32Oh, Deb, I gotta go. I'm late for study buddies.
00:32:35Okay, call me later!
00:32:44Oh my god, seriously? You again?
00:32:47You're taking French 401?
00:32:49Yeah, Martha. I mean, who wouldn't want to take French porn?
00:32:52French what?
00:32:53French porn.
00:32:54The famous class on French cinema. I mean, it's all about hot French guys and threesomes.
00:33:01I think you're in the wrong class, Tilla. This is an advanced history class on the French Revolution.
00:33:07Oh my god. I can't believe I forgot that you're such a loser.
00:33:12Bye, Martha.
00:33:13Bye.
00:33:14Hi.
00:33:24Hi. I can see you. Hello?
00:33:32Hi. Can you see me?
00:33:34Hello. I can see you.
00:33:37Oh. Is this video?
00:33:40Yes, this is the Zoom call for French 401. The class about the French Revolution, not porn!
00:33:45Sorry, I'm a bit of a virgin at this.
00:33:47Sorry, what?
00:33:48It's my first time.
00:33:50Uh, okay.
00:33:52Using Zoom.
00:33:53Right. Yes. Of course. Uh, mine too, actually. Virgin. Still a virgin.
00:33:58What's this you're saying about porn?
00:34:01I was just saying that this is not a class on French porn. It's a class on the history of the French Revolution.
00:34:06Yeah.
00:34:07Yeah, I know. I'm a history major.
00:34:09What's your major?
00:34:10Chemistry.
00:34:11I'm Brett, by the way.
00:34:14Martha.
00:34:19Uh, we should probably get to studying, huh?
00:34:22Yeah.
00:34:23So, what are your thoughts about Napoleon?
00:34:28Do you really think he had a small-
00:34:29I told you, this isn't French porn!
00:34:32I was going to say army.
00:34:36But I can see your mind's on something else today.
00:34:39Oh yeah, sorry.
00:34:41You're glowing. You know that?
00:34:43Do you need to grab that?
00:34:47Actually, uh, apparently it's pretty important, so I might.
00:34:52I'll call you right back.
00:34:53I'll be here waiting.
00:34:58What is so urgent?
00:35:01Mar?
00:35:04Trevor's dead.
00:35:13Hey!
00:35:27How you doing today?
00:35:28Just another day without Trevor.
00:35:30Mar?
00:35:32It's time to take the hat off.
00:35:34I can't. It's all I have left of him.
00:35:36Yeah, it's been weeks.
00:35:38So just take it off and wash it.
00:35:41No.
00:35:44I still can't believe it.
00:35:45There he was, just walking across the street,
00:35:48carrying his one-night-stand box, and then bam!
00:35:52Hit by a bus.
00:35:53I thought it was a car.
00:35:54I think it was a bus.
00:35:55No, no, no.
00:35:56It was a car.
00:35:57A tiny car.
00:35:58Like a Fiat.
00:35:59I still don't know why he was carrying a one-night-stand box.
00:36:01I heard that when they found him, he had a pink thong on his face.
00:36:06Wonderful!
00:36:07The love of my life died wearing a thong on his face, and it wasn't even mine!
00:36:11It's like, I never knew love before Trevor, and now I will never know love again!
00:36:18One sec.
00:36:22Where was I?
00:36:23Oh, yeah.
00:36:24Maybe I should just join a convent.
00:36:26Do they take nuns if you're almost a virgin?
00:36:29Okay.
00:36:30Mara, I love you.
00:36:31I do.
00:36:32But enough is enough.
00:36:34I cannot sit here and watch you hollow in despair, okay?
00:36:39Trevor, yes, he's dead.
00:36:41And yes, that's sad.
00:36:42But it is time to move on.
00:36:45I can't move on, Deb.
00:36:46I loved him!
00:36:48You knew him for one week.
00:36:49He has been dead for four.
00:36:51He has been dead for longer than you knew him.
00:36:55Sorry.
00:36:56That's harsh.
00:36:57It's just that Trevor would want you to be happy, and he would want you to find love.
00:37:04Yeah, maybe you're right.
00:37:07Hang on one more second.
00:37:09Ugh.
00:37:10It's Brett.
00:37:11He's going to be late for our study Zoom.
00:37:13Again.
00:37:14Speaking of moving on.
00:37:17Oh, my God.
00:37:18No way.
00:37:19Brett is not my tights.
00:37:20What?
00:37:21Of course he is.
00:37:22He's hot.
00:37:23And alive.
00:37:24He's also always late, would rather surf than study, and yet gets straight A's by practically
00:37:30sleeping through class.
00:37:31Okay, so you're just jealous because he's smarter than you?
00:37:33All I'm saying is that we don't have chemistry.
00:37:36Oh.
00:37:38Ugh.
00:37:39What?
00:37:40Nothing!
00:37:41It's just...
00:37:42This is nice.
00:37:43I've missed you.
00:37:44And I've really missed not telling you about the 25 times I had sex with Drew Longhorn.
00:37:5025 times?
00:37:51Oh, 26 actually.
00:37:52Oh, my God.
00:37:53So, how's the sex?
00:37:54Oh, my God.
00:37:55It's amazing.
00:37:56Oh, really?
00:37:57Remember when I told you that when you meet your match it gets really good?
00:38:00Well, he is my game set match.
00:38:01Tennis!
00:38:02What made the sex so good?
00:38:03Well, he takes direction very well.
00:38:04You give him direction?
00:38:05Of course.
00:38:06Yes.
00:38:07How else is a girl supposed to get what she needs?
00:38:08And girl, I got what I needed last night.
00:38:09Ugh.
00:38:10Go on.
00:38:11You're blushing.
00:38:12What?
00:38:13No, no, no.
00:38:14But you should be.
00:38:15Why?
00:38:16Sex is a beautiful thing.
00:38:17What did he do that made it so...good?
00:38:18Well, remember how you kissed him at the drink or dare party?
00:38:41Yeah, I remember.
00:38:42The night that Trevor pretended to be my boyfriend.
00:38:45Yeah, remember this like crazy tongue thing that he did and you lift your whole face off?
00:38:49Mm-hmm.
00:38:50Let's just say that works better elsewhere.
00:38:55That was the night that Trevor gave me my first real kiss.
00:38:59The night that forever changed my life.
00:39:02Oh my god, Martha, stop it.
00:39:05What? Am I just too sad for you?
00:39:07Yeah, actually. You're really sad, Martha.
00:39:10Because you know what? I'm your best friend and all we ever talk about is you.
00:39:13When was the last time we talked about me?
00:39:15Literally just now.
00:39:17I have been sleeping with Drew for a month and you just heard about it.
00:39:21Because all we ever talk about is Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, he's dead, Trevor Holt.
00:39:27I'm sorry that I'm trying to process the death of my boyfriend.
00:39:31He was not your boyfriend. He was just some guy that you lost your virginity to.
00:39:38You're being a bitch.
00:39:39Good. Bye.
00:39:43What do you want?
00:39:49Martha!
00:39:51Oh. Hi, Drew.
00:39:53What do you want?
00:39:54I was just calling to do a little undercover work.
00:39:56Yeah?
00:39:57You know, a little secret detective.
00:39:59Just tell me what you want, Drew.
00:40:01Okay, sorry. I was just wondering, what's Deb's favorite color?
00:40:05Oh, sorry. It's orange.
00:40:07Thanks. Sorry to bother you.
00:40:09Yeah, no problem. Sorry I snapped at you. I've just been having not a great day.
00:40:15That's Trev's hat, isn't it?
00:40:17Yeah.
00:40:18I miss him so much. I've never had a friend die before.
00:40:22Me neither.
00:40:23I gotta get something off my chest.
00:40:26What?
00:40:27Trevor's death was my fault.
00:40:29You were there?
00:40:30No, but he called me that morning. He told me that he was really serious about you and I didn't believe that he'd be serious until he got rid of the one-night stand box.
00:40:43We were gonna burn the box together.
00:40:46He got hit when he was on his way over.
00:40:48Drew, that doesn't make it your fault.
00:40:51That doesn't make it your fault.
00:40:53Well, it feels like it.
00:40:55They say Trevor tried to get out of the way, but his ankle seized up and he couldn't move.
00:41:02Stupid old injury.
00:41:03Sorry, what injury?
00:41:05You know, Trevor hurt his ankle during football.
00:41:08Really?
00:41:09Yes, and he heard it again like three weeks before he died. You didn't know that?
00:41:13I didn't know him then.
00:41:14What? I thought you guys were in love.
00:41:17We met the week before he died.
00:41:20What a whirlwind romance.
00:41:22Yeah, I guess you could say that.
00:41:23So, did you ever get to meet his twin sister?
00:41:25Trevor had a twin?
00:41:26Yeah. Taylor. Super hot. She goes to school here, too.
00:41:31I guess I didn't meet her.
00:41:33You know, I should probably introduce Deb to my family soon, too. Just in case.
00:41:37In case you die?
00:41:39I think we're ready to take the next step. To make it official.
00:41:43That's actually sweet.
00:41:46Yeah, I need to go buy her some orange flowers.
00:41:49Hey, Drew, what was Trevor's favorite color?
00:41:52The dude loved blue. You know he was almost gonna go to Duke, just cause of school colors.
00:41:56He almost went to Duke?
00:41:58Yeah. I guess there's a lot he didn't know about them.
00:42:00I guess so.
00:42:01Anyways, thanks for the intel, Martha. Catch you later.
00:42:05Oh, study buddies!
00:42:09Hello?
00:42:10Hey! Wasn't sure if you were gonna make it.
00:42:12Yeah, sorry. I'm late.
00:42:14No, don't apologize. I've been late a thousand times. Something I'm working on.
00:42:28You okay?
00:42:29Yeah. Deb and I just got in a big fight about Trevor.
00:42:34Your ex-boyfriend who died?
00:42:36Yeah. And then Drew called me and told me that I didn't really know him.
00:42:41Wow. That's dickish.
00:42:42Oh, he didn't actually say that. And anyway, he's right.
00:42:46How are you and Deb in a fight about someone who's dead?
00:42:49She thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on.
00:42:52Well, I think you should take as much time as you need.
00:42:55You know, someone once told me it takes half the amount of time you were in the relationship to get over them.
00:43:00So it should have taken me three and a half days.
00:43:04You're not kidding.
00:43:09I only knew him for a week and we were in a fight for like half of that.
00:43:16I'm so confused.
00:43:17And he wasn't even my real boyfriend. I mean, we had sex so he wasn't like not my boyfriend.
00:43:22Why am I telling you all this?
00:43:24No, this is good. This is good. It's starting to make more sense now.
00:43:27What? That I'm a fool?
00:43:29No, that you're still processing.
00:43:31You know, it all happened so fast.
00:43:33Give yourself time. It'll heal.
00:43:36Thanks, Brett.
00:43:39Oh, it's Deb. Do you mind if I answer this?
00:43:42Go for it.
00:43:43I'll just be here reading about Napoleon's small army.
00:43:52Hey, Deb.
00:43:53Martha.
00:43:54Hey, Mar. I am so sorry.
00:43:57Martha? Hello.
00:43:59No, I do. You were just trying to help me.
00:44:02And you know what? You're right. I barely knew him.
00:44:04Did you know he almost went to Duke?
00:44:06Duke?
00:44:07Ugh.
00:44:08Anyway, I'm really sorry for being a selfish friend.
00:44:11And I promise I will always be here to listen to stories about Drew's tongue game.
00:44:16I should not be listening to this.
00:44:18And I'm sorry too, Mar.
00:44:20Having sex for the first time is such a big deal.
00:44:23And then waking up the very next day and finding out that the guy you lost your virginity to is dead.
00:44:31Oh my god.
00:44:34Could you hear all of that?
00:44:36Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:38I mean, I wasn't listening, but...
00:44:40How about you guys finish up your conversation and then we can pick this up.
00:44:43Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, bye.
00:44:45Oh my god!
00:44:50Hey Deb, I really can't talk right now.
00:44:55Brett and I have a big project due tomorrow and he's late with his part again.
00:45:01Deb?
00:45:03Deb, what's wrong?
00:45:07Oh my god! Oh my god!
00:45:10You're pregnant?
00:45:11I don't even know how to hold it.
00:45:13I peed on it.
00:45:14Oh.
00:45:16I thought you guys used condoms.
00:45:18We use so many.
00:45:20We have so much sex and use so many.
00:45:24Well, they do say the effectiveness is only 98%, so this is a fascinating case study.
00:45:29Martha!
00:45:30Sorry.
00:45:31Not being helpful.
00:45:33Are you gonna keep it?
00:45:35I don't know.
00:45:36I have so many plans for my career, I don't think I'm ready to be a mom.
00:45:40Well, what did Drew say?
00:45:42Who doesn't know?
00:45:43Deb, you have to tell him.
00:45:45I can't.
00:45:46He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:45:48He's taking me to see his parents tonight.
00:45:50Eek!
00:45:51He told me they're super traditional and they think Drew's a virgin and they're gonna think that I corrupted their son.
00:45:57Okay, Deb, Drew loves you.
00:46:00I know he'll be supportive.
00:46:02And I'm sure his parents will come around too.
00:46:05Oh, that's him.
00:46:07What do I do?
00:46:08You tell the truth!
00:46:09Okay, I'll call you later.
00:46:11Okay.
00:46:12Good luck.
00:46:17Well, hello my beautiful lady.
00:46:19I require your assistance in selecting the appropriate attire for this evening.
00:46:23What do you think?
00:46:24Blue?
00:46:25Orange?
00:46:26Orange.
00:46:27It matches my dress.
00:46:29Is that new mascara you're wearing?
00:46:31You look smoldering.
00:46:33Um, Drew B, I have something that I need to tell you.
00:46:38Oh, I already know what you're gonna say.
00:46:40You do?
00:46:41You're afraid my mom's gonna make you eat cheese.
00:46:44Cheese?
00:46:45But don't worry, I already explained the whole veganism thing to her anyway.
00:46:49And she totally gets it now.
00:46:51She's making vegan meatloaf for dinner.
00:46:53I love vegan meatloaf!
00:46:55So, are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:46:58Because they are stoked to meet you.
00:47:00Are you excited to meet my parents tonight?
00:47:02Because they are stoked to meet you.
00:47:05They're not gonna be very stoked about me.
00:47:09Are you kidding me?
00:47:10They're gonna absolutely love you.
00:47:12This is the first time I'm ever bringing a girl over.
00:47:14Oh, no.
00:47:15Really?
00:47:16Yeah.
00:47:17Oh, my mom's gonna absolutely adore you.
00:47:21Hey, you, my lady, are perfect.
00:47:24Trust me, okay?
00:47:25I'll see you soon.
00:47:26How'd it go?
00:47:27I couldn't tell him.
00:47:28Deb, it's his baby.
00:47:29You have to tell him at some point.
00:47:30Nope.
00:47:31I just gotta make it through tonight.
00:47:32Because his parents are so excited to meet me.
00:47:33And they won't be able to tell I'm pregnant because I'm just bloated.
00:47:37So, I will tell him when we get home.
00:47:39Oh, it's Brett.
00:47:40We gotta finish this assignment.
00:47:41You got this, Deb.
00:47:42Okay.
00:47:43We got this, got this, got this, got this.
00:48:05I think I'm gonna puke more.
00:48:31Drinking on a Tuesday night, huh?
00:48:33Been there, done that.
00:48:34Oh, Tilla.
00:48:36Sorry.
00:48:37I thought you were Martha.
00:48:38What?
00:48:39Ew.
00:48:40No.
00:48:41Hey, hey.
00:48:42Are you in the Longhorns upstairs bathroom?
00:48:44Yes.
00:48:45I knew I recognized it.
00:48:47I peeped there once during a rager.
00:48:50So, is Drew having a party?
00:48:53I've had dinner with his parents.
00:48:55Oh, the food's that bad?
00:48:57No, I'm just not feeling very well.
00:49:00Anyway, what do you want?
00:49:02Well, that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy.
00:49:06Alright, listen, I need help on our French porn homework.
00:49:09Can we just talk later?
00:49:11You look different.
00:49:13What do you mean?
00:49:15You look different.
00:49:17What do you mean?
00:49:19Oh my God.
00:49:20What?
00:49:21What?
00:49:22Are you pregnant?
00:49:23No.
00:49:24How can you tell?
00:49:26I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things.
00:49:29Oh my God, do you think his parents know?
00:49:32Oh my God, you haven't told Drew yet, have you?
00:49:34Everything okay in there, babe?
00:49:37Yes, fantastic.
00:49:40I am just changing my tampon.
00:49:43Well, my mom said that she wanted me to bring you some seltzer water.
00:49:46She thinks you look a little flushed.
00:49:48No.
00:49:49Was it the meatloaf?
00:49:52No, Drew B.
00:49:54I'm just taking a real big poop.
00:49:57You just go back into dinner and I'll see you in a minute.
00:50:01Okay.
00:50:02Let me know if you need anything.
00:50:04Will do.
00:50:06Say no.
00:50:07She totally knows.
00:50:09Okay.
00:50:10Mrs. Longhorn is oblivious.
00:50:13She thinks all girls are angels.
00:50:15She even called me an angel one time after I threw up a liter of vodka in her bathroom.
00:50:20How do I get out of this?
00:50:22Just go back out there and tell them you were up late studying and you feel like shit.
00:50:27And then go home with Drew and fess up.
00:50:30Okay.
00:50:31Thank you, Dilla.
00:50:33That was weirdly helpful.
00:50:35No biggie.
00:50:39Are you mad at me, babe?
00:50:45No.
00:50:46Is it because I kissed Martha one time?
00:50:49I didn't even know you back then.
00:50:51No.
00:50:52Did my parents say something that upset you?
00:50:55I ruined everything tonight.
00:50:57You didn't, babe.
00:50:58My mom loved you.
00:50:59She said that you're like an angel.
00:51:01If only they knew I corrupted their son.
00:51:04Babe, what are you talking about?
00:51:07Check my purse.
00:51:08Um...
00:51:09What am I looking for?
00:51:10Oh my god.
00:51:11I'm so sorry.
00:51:12Yeah!
00:51:13Woo!
00:51:14Oh man!
00:51:15What?
00:51:16I thought you'd be devastated.
00:51:17What about your parents?
00:51:18Devastated?
00:51:19Devastated?
00:51:20Babe!
00:51:21My mom loves babies!
00:51:22oh my god I'm so sorry yeah oh man what I thought you'd be devastated what about
00:51:36your parents devastated babe my mom loves babies you know what this means though
00:51:44right Debra Davis will you
00:52:14hey what's up guess what what I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't
00:52:22include books um how is that studying you'll see first I need you to turn off all of your lights
00:52:29uh what just just do it quick and then turn on those little twinkly lights above your bed
00:52:39why do I get the feeling I'm not going to learn anything Martha a little trust please so are you
00:52:46gonna tell me what we're doing the history channel is streaming in a poly biopic which covers everything
00:52:53in our current chapter really yeah and I thought we could watch it together that actually sounds
00:52:58fun I'm gonna send you the link oh I wish I had popcorn or something yeah that would be nice
00:53:05all right I'm gonna start it oh wait hold on one second
00:53:14weird this takeout delivery staff just showed up and I didn't even order anything I did
00:53:30what yeah I thought we'd get hungry so I ordered us fresh food because of Napoleon I'm sorry not to
00:53:40be a downer or anything but this isn't studying it's not supposed to be huh it's a date Martha hi oh
00:53:51oh uh sorry I'm confused I've been wanting to ask you out but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet
00:53:59after Trevor so I thought I'd act like it was a study thing and see how you felt at the end
00:54:06that's actually really sweet Brett but this is not gonna work
00:54:11why are you kidding me we're study buddies what's gonna happen if this date doesn't go
00:54:17well and then things get awkward and we get a bad grade on the assignment and then I flunk
00:54:21out of class okay if we weren't study buddies then would you be interested in me
00:54:25well yeah I guess why are you blushing I didn't say the word virgin
00:54:35Brett look my motto is to live in the now so worrying about how this could get awkward in
00:54:41the future it's pointless okay and if it does get awkward I'll still be glad I tried that's a bad
00:54:49choice I live my life from one awkward moment to the next and I do not recommend it well you should
00:54:55you know tons of good things come out of scary conversations uh such as such as going on a date
00:55:02with a girl you like if you're not doing things that scare you you're not living life
00:55:07you know what I guess here's a point all right let's do the state excellent bon appetit these reforms
00:55:22brought rejoicing to many so question if you knew you're gonna die in the next 30 days how to spend the
00:55:31next month well this month I'm in the chem lab for like 30 hours and then but you're gonna die
00:55:36dead why would you go to the chem lab because I'm mid experiment Martha burn the planner I like plans
00:55:45I like to know what's gonna happen next is this day putting you on edge no are you having just a
00:55:51little bit of fun yes but you don't know what I have planned next oh no no I'm not gonna do anything
00:55:58crazy I just think sometimes you're so worried about checking off boxes that you're gonna miss
00:56:05out on what's happening right in front of you you're an eat dessert first kind of person aren't you
00:56:09you know it okay if I who was gonna die in 30 days I'd go to the beach more amazing I'd spend all my
00:56:22money on an expensive designer jacket there you go and I'd find someone to kiss a lot me too kissing's
00:56:31the best kissing's the best I know what's your favorite place to be kissed huh I guess I'd have
00:56:40to say my my sharp edges what does that mean my jawline collarbone even my fingers it kind of
00:56:50reminds me where I start and stop this is embarrassing no I think it's sexy what about
00:56:57you where in the world would you like to be kiss like in your apartment or walking down the street
00:57:05the ocean wow that sounds dreamy it is have you ever had sex on a beach no I'm kind of inexperienced
00:57:14remember right right well don't it's what I was gonna say you don't have to do that no no it's it's
00:57:22not it's saying it's in your butt crack it's horrible yeah when they do it in the movies it looks horrible
00:57:27hey I'm sorry yeah I didn't mean to make you feel bad no it's fine it is what it is you know it
00:57:37doesn't matter right sure it does most people my age have had tons of sex there you go checking off
00:57:43those boxes and that is also not true my roommate is a virgin great but I don't want to die only
00:57:50having had sex one time and only kissing two people that's pathetic what if you only kiss two
00:57:55people but one of them was your perfect match okay you know what let's say you're right what if I did
00:58:01only kiss two people and what if one of them was my perfect match and now he's dead no I didn't yeah
00:58:08you sure did so yeah I found my guy we kissed we had sex it wasn't even that good it never is the
00:58:14first time thanks I've been told and so now he's dead and I can either have a thousand bad kisses or
00:58:21never kiss anyone again and you know what if any of those kisses or anything like drew longhorns I
00:58:26think I'd rather kiss no one not over me I think I'd rather kiss no one not over me
00:58:51you did this didn't you I have no idea what you're talking about the guitarist outside my window
00:58:59oh come on he has a sign that says for Martha okay all right I asked my roommate to play romantic
00:59:08French music but he insisted on playing Spanish guitar that's really sweet you know what I tried
00:59:14but failed this has just been one complete disaster no it wasn't at all no it's okay we can end this
00:59:22now I'll call my roommate and we'd be done with it no don't please this is actually one of the best
00:59:28dates I've ever been on no one's ever really planned a whole night like this just for me look I realize
00:59:34that you haven't been on many dates and that that is that is fine but crying in the middle of it
00:59:41it's not a good sign and look I should never have pushed you so far out of your comfort zone it's
00:59:49that's not okay
00:59:49I'm so sorry Brett no don't apologize no you planned the sweetest day ever and I brought up my dead boyfriend
01:00:02and cried hello I'm Martha and I ruin everything no you didn't ruin anything because that would
01:00:10mean I don't like you anymore and I think I'm into you now more than ever how is that even possible
01:00:16because you know you're incredibly real I'm not trying to figure out what you're thinking because
01:00:21let's be honest you say it out loud all the time that's not a good thing well I think it is
01:00:30so any other surprises no that was the last one then while our guitarist is on a break I want to
01:00:42play you this new song I'm into okay cool but there's one condition we have to dance like in
01:00:50our rooms or you want me to come over no no no stand up right here right now dance with me okay
01:00:59wait hang on I got the best idea
01:01:12that was so much fun yeah I haven't danced like that in a long time
01:01:42me neither hey I had a really great time tonight like really great yeah yeah me too
01:01:49Martha yeah I really hope you kiss more than two people in your lifetime
01:01:54oh yeah how come because I plan on being number three
01:01:58I'd like that all right I'll talk to you soon
01:02:03hey nerd why are you calling me well I heard you and Brett are talking or whatever
01:02:20and that is your business how well there's something you should know about breath what
01:02:28you
01:02:42you
01:02:44you
01:02:46you
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