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Trevor And The Virgin
Transcript
00:00:00What?!
00:00:09There's a rumor going around that Trevor Holt has the biggest you-know-what in school.
00:00:16And here he is, standing outside my dorm room, naked.
00:00:23Out of the way!
00:00:26What are you doing?!
00:00:28I'll explain later, just please don't tell her that I'm here.
00:00:30Tell who?
00:00:31Trevor?
00:00:32Please, uh, what's your name again?
00:00:33Martha!
00:00:34Trevor, where the hell are you?
00:00:35Please, Martha, she's psycho.
00:00:37She's psycho?!
00:00:38You're literally hiding under my bed, naked!
00:00:40Look, I'll owe you one, okay?
00:00:42Just get rid of her, and I'll do anything.
00:00:44Okay, I'm just tucking your head.
00:00:48Where is he?
00:00:49Where is who?
00:00:50Trevor.
00:00:51I saw him running this way.
00:00:53Gosh, I don't know anyone named Trevor.
00:00:56Trevor Holt?
00:00:58Football player?
00:00:59Huge.
00:01:00No!
00:01:01Doesn't ring any balls.
00:01:02I mean, bells.
00:01:03You're lying.
00:01:05Everybody knows who Trevor Holt is.
00:01:07Even girls like you.
00:01:09I haven't seen him.
00:01:13Also, you've got a little...
00:01:15I'm watching you.
00:01:25Granny panties?
00:01:26Seriously?
00:01:27How many of those boner killers do you own?
00:01:30None of your business.
00:01:32Cover up.
00:01:33No, thanks for handling that Tilla situation.
00:01:35She's become a bit of an issue.
00:01:37Why?
00:01:38Did she ask for something like commitment?
00:01:40Actually, she's my buddy's ex-girlfriend.
00:01:43I don't like her like that.
00:01:44She doesn't get the hint.
00:01:46She jumped me in the shower.
00:01:47I'm sorry, I didn't...
00:01:48Anyway.
00:01:51What'll it be?
00:01:52Huh?
00:01:53I said I owed you one.
00:01:54I'm a man of my word.
00:02:00This is my chance.
00:02:01A favor from Trevor Holt.
00:02:03And he has the one thing I truly want.
00:02:06What can I do you for, Martha?
00:02:08Drew Longhorn.
00:02:10Drew Longhorn?
00:02:11Yeah.
00:02:12Drew Longhorn.
00:02:13What about Drew Longhorn?
00:02:14I want to kiss Drew Longhorn.
00:02:18Sorry.
00:02:19Why...
00:02:20Why do you want to kiss Drew Longhorn?
00:02:22He was my lab partner freshman year.
00:02:25We had...
00:02:27Chemistry.
00:02:28You had chemistry?
00:02:29Yes.
00:02:30Okay.
00:02:32You want his attention?
00:02:33Then we'll get his attention.
00:02:35But not in that.
00:02:37Guys like Drew, they only go for one kind of girl.
00:02:39And it's not...
00:02:40Forget it.
00:02:41Hey.
00:02:42No.
00:02:43Let's just forget the whole thing.
00:02:44Hey.
00:02:45I'm an ass.
00:02:46Okay?
00:02:47I just meant that this stuff doesn't play up your assets.
00:02:49You know?
00:02:50You're really pretty.
00:02:51You need to show it.
00:02:52You're messing with me.
00:02:54I'm not.
00:02:55I swear.
00:02:57She's gonna have to trust me.
00:02:59Okay.
00:03:00First, you show up at the party with me.
00:03:04Everyone's gonna notice when you're on my arm.
00:03:06And second, we need to go shopping.
00:03:09Shopping.
00:03:10One, two, three, four, five!
00:03:23Ta-da!
00:03:24Where did you get all this?
00:03:25That was my one night stand box.
00:03:27Go on.
00:03:28Take your pick.
00:03:29That was my one night stand box.
00:03:31Go on.
00:03:32Take your pick.
00:03:33No, thank you.
00:03:34I'm not parading around in your hookup trophies.
00:03:39What?
00:03:40These aren't trophies.
00:03:41These are just clothes that have been forgotten.
00:03:44It's also the kind of stuff that'll attract a guy like Drew Longhorn.
00:03:47So...
00:03:49I'm not wearing someone else's sex panties.
00:03:51I can 100% guarantee that the act of sex did not happen while the panties were being worn by the girl.
00:03:56No.
00:03:57Come on, Martha.
00:03:58This stuff's hot.
00:04:00Come on.
00:04:01Come on.
00:04:02Just wear it.
00:04:03Trust me.
00:04:04I've worn it.
00:04:05I haven't worn it.
00:04:06I lied.
00:04:07I've always wanted to wear something sexy like that.
00:04:10I just never had the guts.
00:04:12Turn around.
00:04:16Are your eyes closed?
00:04:17Oh yeah.
00:04:18Totally.
00:04:31Okay.
00:04:32Turn around.
00:04:33Wow.
00:04:34Trevor!
00:04:35What?
00:04:36There's nothing you haven't seen before.
00:04:37Just get dressed, please.
00:04:38And as you can tell, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
00:04:39Well, I have nothing to compare it to, so I wouldn't know, would I?
00:04:44Oh my god.
00:04:45Did I just tell Trevor Holt that I'm a virgin?
00:04:47No.
00:04:48I'm not doing this.
00:04:50No.
00:04:51I'm not doing this.
00:04:52Okay.
00:04:53I guess I'm doing this.
00:04:57Alright, there's three things I need you to remember, okay?
00:04:58Three simple tricks to get any man's attention.
00:04:59You listening?
00:05:00Yep.
00:05:01Okay.
00:05:02You listening?
00:05:03Yep.
00:05:04Okay.
00:05:05One.
00:05:06Eye contact.
00:05:07Not like that.
00:05:08And the other one.
00:05:09One.
00:05:10One.
00:05:11One.
00:05:12One.
00:05:13One.
00:05:14One.
00:05:15One.
00:05:16One.
00:05:17One.
00:05:18One.
00:05:19One.
00:05:20One.
00:05:21One.
00:05:22One.
00:05:23One.
00:05:24One.
00:05:25One.
00:05:26One.
00:05:27One.
00:05:28One.
00:05:29One.
00:05:30One.
00:05:31One.
00:05:32Two.
00:05:33You need to smile at him.
00:05:35Well, come on.
00:05:36This is serious.
00:05:37I'm very serious.
00:05:38Alright.
00:05:39And three.
00:05:40Find a casual way to touch him.
00:05:41You know?
00:05:42Quick hand on the arm.
00:05:43You know?
00:05:44Brush you on his bicep.
00:05:45You know?
00:05:46He'll know what game you're playing if you do that.
00:05:47Why does that have to be a game?
00:05:49Cause this is Drew Longhorn we're talking about here.
00:05:51Okay?
00:05:52All he does is play games.
00:05:58You ready?
00:06:02Thank you for your help, Trevor.
00:06:04Wow.
00:06:05That was really good.
00:06:06I think you might actually pull this off.
00:06:09Oh.
00:06:11I spoke too soon.
00:06:13I got it.
00:06:14Thanks.
00:06:15Hey everyone.
00:06:16This is my girlfriend, Martha.
00:06:31He's kidding everyone.
00:06:32We're just friends.
00:06:33Oh, Marmar.
00:06:34Stop being so coy.
00:06:35We're in love.
00:06:36What the hell is wrong with you?
00:06:37Just trust me.
00:06:38If Drew thinks we're together, it'll peak his interest.
00:06:39Yeah, but if Drew thinks I'm taken, he won't ask me out.
00:06:41It's better if Drew thinks you're with someone.
00:06:43Especially if that someone is me.
00:06:44Who's gonna believe this anyway?
00:06:45Have you ever even had a girlfriend?
00:06:46No.
00:06:47Guys like me don't like commitment.
00:06:48Remember?
00:06:49Trev.
00:06:50What's up, man?
00:06:51I see you brought a friend.
00:06:52Yeah.
00:06:53This is my girlfriend.
00:06:54I don't know.
00:06:55I don't know.
00:06:56I don't know.
00:06:57I don't know.
00:06:58I don't know.
00:06:59I don't know.
00:07:00I don't know.
00:07:01I don't know.
00:07:02I don't know.
00:07:03I don't know.
00:07:04You're my friend.
00:07:05Yeah.
00:07:06This is a-
00:07:07You look familiar.
00:07:08Have we met?
00:07:09Yeah.
00:07:10We had chemistry.
00:07:11We had science class.
00:07:12We were lab partners.
00:07:14Oh yeah.
00:07:15That class was such a joke.
00:07:17Am I right?
00:07:18Yeah.
00:07:19Definitely.
00:07:20Total joke.
00:07:21But I enjoyed working with you.
00:07:24One second.
00:07:26Two seconds.
00:07:28Got him.
00:07:30What did you say your name was again?
00:07:32Her name is Martha.
00:07:35Nice meeting you, Martha.
00:07:37Well, hey guys.
00:07:38We're playing a game of Drink or Dare in the next room.
00:07:40You care to join?
00:07:41Sure.
00:07:42No.
00:07:43Sweet.
00:07:44See you there.
00:07:48That was good, right?
00:07:50Have you played Drink or Dare before?
00:07:51No, but how hard can it be?
00:07:53About this.
00:07:54Oh girl.
00:07:55Your girlfriend's here.
00:07:56So what?
00:07:57So she's gonna know I lied to her.
00:07:58So?
00:07:59Just ignore her.
00:08:00My turn.
00:08:01Tilla.
00:08:02Drink or Dare?
00:08:03I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:04Drink.
00:08:05I want you to drink with...
00:08:06Trevor.
00:08:07Okay.
00:08:08I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:09Drink.
00:08:10I want you to drink with...
00:08:12Trevor.
00:08:13Okay.
00:08:14I'm feeling thirsty, Drew.
00:08:15Drink.
00:08:16I want you to drink with...
00:08:18Trevor.
00:08:19Okay.
00:08:20Open up.
00:08:50I want you to drink with you.
00:08:51I want you to drink.
00:08:52I want you to drink with you.
00:08:55Hey, come on.
00:08:56Hey, come on.
00:08:57Come on.
00:08:58Yum.
00:08:59Okay, my turn.
00:09:00You.
00:09:01Drink or Dare?
00:09:02Uh, Dare.
00:09:03Oh.
00:09:04Yes.
00:09:05Okay.
00:09:06Yeah.
00:09:07I dare you to take off your panties and put them in the middle of the circle for the rest
00:09:18Hello. What are you waiting for?
00:09:21You don't have to do this.
00:09:23Yes, she does.
00:09:24Um, unfortunately I can't do that to her.
00:09:29Because I'm not wearing any.
00:09:35You're up next, Martha.
00:09:37Drew, drink or dare?
00:09:40Drink.
00:09:42I want you to drink with me.
00:09:46My pleasure.
00:09:48This is my chance to do what I've been dreaming about since freshman year.
00:09:53I should be happy.
00:10:22This is what I've always wanted.
00:10:26But...
00:10:27That was hot.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:31I hope I didn't make things weird between you two.
00:10:34No, it's fine.
00:10:36I always wondered what happened to you after that class.
00:10:39Never saw you around.
00:10:40I've seen Drew roughly 83 times since that class ended.
00:10:44Yeah.
00:10:44Me too.
00:10:45I'd love to hang out sometime.
00:10:47Yeah, I'd like that.
00:10:48Great.
00:10:49Give me your number.
00:10:51I just sent you a special message.
00:10:58Let me know when you get it.
00:11:00Trev has my phone.
00:11:01Um, I'll be right back.
00:11:06Okay.
00:11:08Who's next?
00:11:10Trevor?
00:11:16Trevor!
00:11:17Oh, sorry.
00:11:18Sorry.
00:11:20Trevor!
00:11:21You win, Tilla James.
00:11:35You win.
00:11:37You okay?
00:11:56I'm leaving.
00:11:56You can stay.
00:11:57I just need my phone.
00:11:58Okay, where's my cigarette?
00:12:01I'll walk you home.
00:12:02Well, give them to me.
00:12:03No, you have to give them.
00:12:04I know that you have them.
00:12:07Your advice didn't work.
00:12:09Just so you know.
00:12:11This is probably for the best.
00:12:13You two never would have worked out.
00:12:15And why is that, Trevor?
00:12:17Is he too hot for me?
00:12:19Too popular?
00:12:21Or is it just pathetically obvious
00:12:23that I'm a frumpy nerd in a stolen sex dress?
00:12:26No.
00:12:27To all three.
00:12:30You want to know my three reasons?
00:12:31Not particularly.
00:12:33One, he's a douche.
00:12:35Two, you're not a douche.
00:12:37You're doing great so far.
00:12:39Three, you guys had zero chemistry.
00:12:41That kiss was a hot mess.
00:12:43And I can tell you weren't that into it, so.
00:12:49You're right.
00:12:52It was kind of terrible.
00:12:54Oh, but that look on Tilla's face
00:12:57when you told her you weren't wearing any panties.
00:12:59Oh, priceless.
00:13:01How do you do it?
00:13:04Do what?
00:13:06Hide your emotions.
00:13:08They're just so easy to read.
00:13:12I noticed.
00:13:14I'm serious, Trevor.
00:13:15What's your secret?
00:13:15I want to learn how to not care
00:13:19about anything like you, Joe.
00:13:22There is no secret.
00:13:24It's just who I am, right?
00:13:27Oh, and before I forget.
00:13:29Tonight wasn't what I expected,
00:13:48but thank you.
00:13:51Oh, you don't have to thank me.
00:13:53I owed you one.
00:13:54I guess I missed that.
00:13:58No, I'm glad you knocked on my door.
00:14:00Oh, even after everything that happened tonight?
00:14:02Yeah, because even though it was kind of awful,
00:14:06I got my first kiss.
00:14:10I'm going to go.
00:14:12Good night, Trevor.
00:14:13That wasn't a first kiss.
00:14:40And there it was.
00:14:56The thing I had been looking for.
00:14:59Chemistry.
00:15:00Between Trevor, the guy with the biggest
00:15:02you-know-what on campus.
00:15:05And me.
00:15:08The Virgin.
00:15:09Rumor has it that every girl on campus
00:15:20wants Drew Longhorn.
00:15:22Every girl except me.
00:15:26Because after last week,
00:15:28I could not be more over Drew.
00:15:31Martha, mind if I join you?
00:15:34So, where did you run off to
00:15:38after the party on Saturday?
00:15:39I had to go home to study.
00:15:42I have a big test coming up.
00:15:44What are you up to later?
00:15:45Probably more studying.
00:15:48Why?
00:15:49The wet party.
00:15:53The wet party?
00:15:55It's only the most exclusive
00:15:57frat party on campus.
00:15:58So, of course, I've never been invited.
00:16:02What about it?
00:16:04You in?
00:16:05I've never even wanted
00:16:07to go to a party like this before.
00:16:09But it could be the perfect way
00:16:10to get over.
00:16:12Wait.
00:16:13Is Trevor going to be there?
00:16:14Is Trevor going to be there?
00:16:16Holt?
00:16:17Nah.
00:16:18He's been ghosting me.
00:16:19Think he's out.
00:16:20Then I'm in.
00:16:21Excellent.
00:16:21Oh, and bring a friend.
00:16:27A female friend?
00:16:31What are those?
00:16:32Guess who just got us tickets
00:16:34to the wet party.
00:16:38Since when do you find
00:16:39frat parties fun?
00:16:40I just wanted to try
00:16:41something different.
00:16:42Like being drooled over
00:16:44by a bunch of chauvinist douchebags?
00:16:45Maybe.
00:16:47Does this have anything
00:16:48to do with Trevor Holt?
00:16:50No.
00:16:51Yes, okay.
00:16:54I just keep playing the night
00:16:56over and over in my head
00:16:56trying to see what went wrong.
00:16:58I mean,
00:16:59things were going so well.
00:17:01We had chemistry.
00:17:08How could he just
00:17:09walk out on me
00:17:11after I asked him to?
00:17:13You know.
00:17:14Take your virginity.
00:17:15Shh, shh.
00:17:16Don't say that word.
00:17:17Let me.
00:17:19Let me.
00:17:19For Jennifer.
00:17:22There's nothing wrong
00:17:23with being the virgin, Mar.
00:17:24Tell it to Trevor.
00:17:25He hasn't talked to me
00:17:26since that night.
00:17:27Screw him.
00:17:28That guy's got a reputation
00:17:29for a reason.
00:17:30I'm just so used to achieving
00:17:32everything I set my mind to.
00:17:34I've gotten straight A's,
00:17:35scholarships.
00:17:36Why can't I get a guy?
00:17:37I don't think it works
00:17:38that way, Mar.
00:17:40You're right.
00:17:40And you know what?
00:17:41Forget this stupid party.
00:17:43I'd rather study anyway.
00:17:44Oh, no.
00:17:46We're going to that party.
00:17:48We are?
00:17:49Yup.
00:17:49And forget these dumb books.
00:17:51All you need
00:17:52are Deb's three simple rules
00:17:53for getting over any guy.
00:17:55Deb's three simple rules.
00:17:57Shh.
00:17:57Step one.
00:18:05Dress to impress.
00:18:06Okay.
00:18:08But don't do it for any guy.
00:18:10Do it for you.
00:18:12Step one.
00:18:13Dress to impress.
00:18:15Check.
00:18:16Step two.
00:18:18Find someone new to flirt with.
00:18:19Basic spread bro.
00:18:20Check.
00:18:21That's true, Longhorn.
00:18:23He's cute.
00:18:25He's a chauvinist douchebag.
00:18:27You're what?
00:18:28The thing that a girl can't look.
00:18:33Step three.
00:18:35To really get over a guy,
00:18:36you gotta put yourself out there.
00:18:38Show the world who Martha really is.
00:18:43Oh, what's wrong?
00:18:46I already did that, Deb.
00:18:47I put myself out there with Trevor,
00:18:49showed him who I really am,
00:18:50and he rejected me.
00:18:52Yeah, but it's not...
00:18:53No.
00:18:54From now on,
00:18:55I'm a closed book.
00:18:58Hey,
00:18:59this will be fun.
00:19:03All right.
00:19:05Okay.
00:19:05Guys.
00:19:06All right.
00:19:10All right.
00:19:11All right.
00:19:14All right.
00:19:19All right.
00:19:23Trevor Holt he wasn't supposed to be here Trevor Holt he wasn't supposed to be here
00:19:44but now that he is Martha glad you could make it
00:19:50and you brought a friend Drew Longhorn in the flesh and you are Drew this is my
00:19:58best friend Deb it's a pleasure Debra what are you doing here hello to you too
00:20:07Trevor they're here with me Holt none of your concern can we talk alone I need a
00:20:16refill anyway Debra care to join me but you came here with Drew really why jealous
00:20:26after the kiss last week no he's right that was pretty much the worst kiss of all
00:20:34time I just thought it would be fun Martha this party these people it's not your
00:20:40thing oh yeah well maybe you don't know me as well as you think please you're an
00:20:43open book that's what I like about you Trevor up for a round of beer pong did
00:20:50someone say beer pong hello no maybe I'm not such an open book after all can't we
00:20:59talk about what happened there's nothing to talk about just give me a second to
00:21:02you who let you into this party who let you into this college have you ever even
00:21:09played beer pong before there's a first time for everything all right it's two to a team so
00:21:16who's it gonna be the clueless nerd or me her fine Drew you're on my team let's do
00:21:24this Debra are you in oh I know I am gluten intolerant I'll just watch you sure you know
00:21:34what what's up the stakes what did you have in mind what about strip beer pong oh sweet come on
00:21:42to her I'm game you know how to play beer pong what are the rules every time we sink a ball one of
00:21:50you removed a piece of clothing oh yeah and vice versa so if Trevor makes it nice trip seems easy
00:22:00enough come on Holt it's game time let's go ladies first hold on your form is way off may I
00:22:20okay that's not even fair you practically gave that one to her Trev you're not afraid of a little
00:22:35competition are you Tila oh please ladies ladies let me show you both how it's done
00:22:44great job my turn
00:22:56all right Trevor you know the rules you are so lame you're up one other lesson I think I can handle
00:23:10myself I learn quick okay I call BS there's no way an amateur like her could have made that shot
00:23:19it's called studying Tila ever tried it just let me know game time I guess I win you cannot leave not
00:23:35now didn't you see what happened back there now everybody knows that Trevor hold the guy with the
00:23:40one-night stand box doesn't want to sleep with me oh Trevor Trevor Trevor Trevor who cares Mar he told
00:23:48the entire school that he passed up the opportunity to sleep with you hey the Martha I know doesn't give
00:23:55up okay the Martha I know succeeds at everything she sets her mind to the Martha you know is also still
00:24:02into some guy who rejected her I should hate him but I don't I can't a part of me still wants to be
00:24:12with him even after all that this is serious so hold my hand okay if Trevor can't see how amazing you are
00:24:21Mar then he doesn't deserve you but I know there's someone out there who does okay so just no no no like
00:24:28that okay great oh remember step three you got to keep putting yourself out there okay okay
00:24:39wait I have an idea wait where are you going I'm putting myself out there
00:24:50hey everybody listen up wow there's a lot of you okay um uh well my name is Martha and as you may
00:25:09have heard Trevor Holt doesn't want to sleep with me but there's more to me than that so here it goes
00:25:16Tilla James you called me a clueless nerd and you're right I'm a huge nerd I like to spend
00:25:26Saturday nights in my dorm room studying I mean last weekend was my first party can you believe that
00:25:30I've been so busy studying that I think I've missed out on the important parts of college like
00:25:35getting to know myself I guess what I'm trying to say is
00:25:40I am clueless
00:25:43especially when it comes to love I've never slept with anyone or dated anyone but I don't care that
00:25:54I'm a virgin because when the time is right it will happen and it will be on my terms and I don't care
00:26:02if somebody doesn't want to sleep with me or if somebody doesn't like me because I like me just the
00:26:09way I am putting myself out there check I can't believe I just told everyone on campus that I'm a virgin
00:26:22Hi I'm Trevor
00:26:39some of you may know me as something of a douche I'll admit I've been with a lot of girls
00:26:47but that's only because before any of you knew me back in high school someone broke my heart
00:26:54when I got to college I slept my way around campus to prevent myself from getting hurt again
00:26:59I even developed a bit of a reputation and I was fine with that but the other night
00:27:06everything changed when I met Martha Martha you're not just another one night stand
00:27:14you're amazing and I'm sorry I pushed you away I just I didn't want to sleep with you because
00:27:20I wanted your first time to be special and this may sound stupid coming from me but
00:27:25I didn't want to rush it I really really like you Martha and I know I don't deserve it but if you
00:27:33just if you give me one more chance I yes what's that I said yes I will give you one more chance Trevor
00:27:41Drew Longhorn I think you're funny charming and secretly sweet
00:28:08and hot like so hot
00:28:15most of you already know me but I'm drew and I really hate parties oh yeah I always get nervous and wind up
00:28:29saying things I don't mean making out with people I don't like bro but today was different because
00:28:35today I met someone I think I actually really do like so maybe I don't have to go to any more
00:28:42of these stupid parties I do love drinking though
00:28:47I know you guys think I'm like really mean or whatever but that's just because I'm brutally honest and if you don't like it that's your problem
00:29:00so there it is that's how Trevor Holt the hottest guy in school started dating me the Virgin but you'll just have to imagine the rest
00:29:27you'll just have to imagine the rest
00:29:34I wonder if I look different now that I've
00:29:40live
00:29:47hey done oh my god you did it didn't you did what you had sex with Trevor Holt why would you say that
00:30:03with Trevor. Why would you say that? Oh my god, you're glowing. I want all the deets.
00:30:11It happened. I'm not a virgin anymore. Where did you get that? I found it in Drew's closet this
00:30:21morning. What were you doing in Drew's closet this morning? Yeah, no, Mart, you're not changing the
00:30:26subject. So how was it? It was nice. Is that his hat? Yeah, it still smells like him too.
00:30:35Oh my god, you're so in love. Oh, Deb, I have to hop on the study buddy Zoom. I'll call you later.
00:30:41Yeah, not a chance, Mar. You still have two minutes, so hurry up and dish the dirt. Fine. It was
00:30:49romantic. I mean, Trevor is an amazing kisser. He does the thing where he kissed along my jawline.
00:30:55Oh my god. Mart, two minutes off of the kissing onto the good stuff. The kissing was the good stuff.
00:31:03What? The sex wasn't good? It was not the best. What way? Okay, so you know that rumor about Trevor
00:31:11about his? Yes. God, yes. Sorry. Yes, I know. So it's true and it was kind of uncomfortable. Yeah,
00:31:22honestly, Mar, it's um, it's pretty uncomfortable for every girl their first time no matter what their
00:31:28size. I've just been dreaming about this moment for as long as I can remember and then it just
00:31:34happened and it didn't feel great. I'm sorry, Mar. I wish they told us that. I wish I told you that,
00:31:44but I'm not lying when I say it does get better, though it just may never get better. What do you
00:31:50mean? I mean, you gotta find the right match. Emotionally and physically and then that's when things
00:31:57start getting real good. What if it wasn't good for him either? I'm sure it was good for him.
00:32:05How do you know? He gave you his hat. Yeah, but he hasn't responded to any of my texts this morning.
00:32:13What if he woke up and he realized he's over me? Okay, first of all, he's probably still asleep and
00:32:18secondly, I'm sending you an article on this. It is very sciency. I'm just gonna keep trying.
00:32:25That's what the article says. I'm gonna keep having sex with Trevor until we get it right.
00:32:30That's the spirit. Oh, Deb, I gotta go. I'm late for study buddies. Okay, call me later.
00:32:42Oh my god. Seriously? You again? You're taking French 401? Yeah, Martha. I mean,
00:32:50who wouldn't want to take French porn? French what? French porn. The famous class on French
00:32:56cinema. I mean, it's all about hot French guys and threesomes. I think you're in the wrong class,
00:33:03till this is an advanced history class on the French Revolution. Oh my god. I can't believe I
00:33:10forgot that you're such a loser. Bye, Martha. Bye.
00:33:23Hi, I can see you. Hello? Hi, can you see me? Hello? I can see you. Oh, is this video?
00:33:40Yes, this is a Zoom call for French 401. The class about the French Revolution, not porn. Sorry,
00:33:45I'm a bit of a virgin at this. Sorry, what? It's my first time. Uh, okay. Using Zoom. Right. Yes,
00:33:55of course. Uh, mine too, actually. Virgin. Still a virgin. What's this you're saying about porn? I was
00:34:01just saying that this is not a class on French porn. It's a class on the history of the French
00:34:06French Revolution. Yeah, I know. I'm a history major. What's your major? Chemistry. I'm Brett,
00:34:14by the way. Martha. Uh, we should probably get to studying, huh? Yeah. So, what are your thoughts
00:34:24about Napoleon? Do you really think he had a small... I told you this isn't French porn. I was going to say
00:34:34army, but I can see your mind's on something else today. Oh yeah, sorry. You're glowing. You know that?
00:34:46Do you need to grab that? Actually, uh, apparently it's pretty important, so I might. I'll call you right back.
00:34:53I'll be here waiting.
00:34:54What is so urgent? Mar, Trevor's dead.
00:35:18Hey, how are you doing today? Just another day without Trevor.
00:35:30Mar, it's time to take the hat off. I can't. It's all I have left of him. Yeah, it's been weeks,
00:35:38so just take it off and wash it. No.
00:35:41I still can't believe it. There he was, just walking across the street, carrying his one night
00:35:49stand box, and then bam, hit by a bus. I thought it was a car. I think it was a bus.
00:35:55No, no, no. It was a car. Uh, a tiny car, like a Fiat. I still don't know why he was carrying the
00:36:00one night stand box. I heard that when they found him, he had a pink thong on his face. Wonderful! The
00:36:07love of my life died wearing a thong on his face, and it wasn't even mine. It's like, I never knew love
00:36:14before Trevor, and now I will never know love again. One sec.
00:36:22Where was I? Oh yeah, maybe I should just join a convent. Do they take nuns if you're almost a virgin?
00:36:29Okay, Mara, I love you. I do. But enough is enough. I cannot sit here and watch you hollow in despair,
00:36:38okay? Trevor, yes, he's dead. And yes, that's sad, but it is time to move on. I can't move on, Deb. I loved
00:36:47him. You knew him for one week. He has been dead for four. He has been dead for longer than you knew him.
00:36:54Sorry, that's harsh. It's just that Trevor would want you to be happy, and he would want you to find love.
00:37:04Yeah, maybe you're right. Hang on one more second. Ugh, it's Brett. He's going to be late for our study
00:37:12Zoom again. Speaking of moving on. Oh god. Now we're playing. Brett is not my tights. What? Of course he is.
00:37:21He's hot. And alive. He's also always late, would rather surf than study, and yet gets straight A's by
00:37:29practically sleeping through class. Okay, so you're just jealous because he's smarter than you?
00:37:33All I'm saying is that we don't have chemistry. Oh. Ugh. What? Nothing. It's just, this is nice.
00:37:43I've missed you. And I've really missed not telling you about the 25 times I had sex with Drew Longhorn.
00:37:5025 times? Oh, 26 actually. Oh my god. So, how's the sex? Oh my god, it's amazing. Oh, really?
00:38:00Remember when I told you that when you meet your match, it gets really good? Well, he is my game set
00:38:06match. Tennis! What made the sex so good? Well, he takes direction very well. You give him direction?
00:38:15Of course, yes. How else is a girl supposed to get what she needs? And girl, I got what I needed last
00:38:22night. Ah, go on. You're blushing. What? No, no, no. But you should be. Why? Sex is a beautiful thing.
00:38:31What did he do that made it so good? Well, remember how you kissed him at the drinker dare party? Yeah, I remember.
00:38:40The night that Trevor pretended to be my boyfriend. Yeah, remember this like crazy tongue thing that he did
00:38:47and he licked your whole face off? Mm-hmm. Let's just say that works better elsewhere.
00:38:55That was the night that Trevor gave me my first real kiss. The night that forever changed my life.
00:39:01Oh, my God. Martha, stop it. What? Am I just too sad for you? Yeah, actually. You're really sad,
00:39:09Martha. Because you know what? I'm your best friend and all we ever talk about is you. When was the last
00:39:14time we talked about me? Literally, just now. I have been sleeping with Drew for a month and you just
00:39:20heard about it. Because all we ever talk about is Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor,
00:39:26he's dead. I'm sorry that I'm trying to process the death of my boyfriend. He was not your boyfriend.
00:39:34He was just some guy that you lost your virginity to. You're being a bitch. Good. Bye.
00:39:40What do you want? Martha. Oh, hi, Drew. What do you want? I was just calling to do a little
00:39:55undercover work. Yeah? You know, a little secret detective. Just tell me what you want, Drew.
00:40:01Okay, sorry. I was just wondering, what's Deb's favorite color? Oh, sorry. It's orange. Thanks.
00:40:09Sorry to bother you. Yeah, no problem. Sorry I snapped at you. I've just been having
00:40:13not a great day. That's Trev's hat, isn't it? Yeah. I miss him so much. I've never had a friend die
00:40:21before. Me neither. I gotta get something off my chest. What? Trevor's death was my fault. You were
00:40:30there? No, but he called me that morning. He told me that he was really serious about you and I didn't
00:40:37believe that he'd be serious until he got rid of the one-night stand box. We were going to burn
00:40:43the box together. He got hit when he was on his way over. Drew, that doesn't make it your fault.
00:40:51That doesn't make it your fault. Oh, it feels like it. They say Trevor tried to get out of the way,
00:40:57but his ankle seized up knee. Couldn't move. Stupid old injury. Sorry, what injury? You know,
00:41:06Trevor hurt his ankle during football. Really? Yes, and he hurt it again like three weeks before he
00:41:11died. You didn't know that? I didn't know him then. What? I thought you guys were in love. We met the
00:41:18week before he died. What a whirlwind romance. Yeah, I guess you could say that. So did you ever get to
00:41:24meet his twin sister? Trevor had a twin? Yeah, Taylor. Super hot. She goes to school here too.
00:41:31I guess I didn't meet her. You know, I should probably introduce Deb to my family soon too.
00:41:36Just in case. In case you die? I think we're ready to take the next step to make it official.
00:41:44That's actually sweet. Yeah, I need to go buy her some orange flowers. Hey, Drew, what was Trevor's
00:41:50favorite color? The dude loved blue. You know he was almost going to go to Duke just because they're
00:41:55school colors. He almost went to Duke? Yeah, I guess there's a lot you didn't know about them.
00:42:00I guess so. Anyways, thanks for the intel, Martha. Catch you later.
00:42:04Oh, study buddies. Hey, wasn't sure if you're going to make it. Yeah, sorry. I'm late. No,
00:42:23don't apologize. I've been late a thousand times. It's something I'm working on.
00:42:28You okay? Yeah, Deb and I just got in a big fight about Trevor. Your ex-boyfriend who died?
00:42:36Yeah, and then Drew called me and told me that I didn't really know him. Wow, that's dickish.
00:42:42Oh, he didn't actually say that. And anyway, he's right. How are you and Deb in a fight about someone
00:42:49who's dead? She thinks I'm wallowing and I need to move on. Well, I think you should take as much time
00:42:54as you need. You know, someone once told me it takes half the amount of time you're in the
00:42:59relationship to get over them. So it should have taken me three and a half days.
00:43:08You're not kidding.
00:43:12I only knew him for a week and we were in a fight for like half of that. I'm so confused. And he wasn't
00:43:18even my real boyfriend. I mean, we had sex so he wasn't like not my boyfriend. Why am I telling you all
00:43:23this? No, this is good. This is good. It's starting to make more sense now. What, that I'm a fool?
00:43:28No, that you're still processing. You know, it all happened so fast. Give yourself time. It'll heal.
00:43:36Thanks, Brett. Oh, it's Deb. Do you mind if I answer this? Go for it. I'll just be here reading
00:43:43about Napoleon's small army. Hey, Deb. Martha. Hey, Mar, I am so sorry. I owe you a huge apology.
00:43:59No, I do. You were just trying to help me. And you know what? You're right. I barely knew him. Did
00:44:04you know he almost went to Duke? Duke? Ugh. Anyway, I'm really sorry for being a selfish friend. And I
00:44:12promise I will always be here to listen to stories about Drew's tongue game.
00:44:16I should not be listening to this. And I'm sorry too, Mar. Having sex for the first time is such
00:44:22a big deal. And then waking up the very next day and finding out that the guy you lost your virginity
00:44:27to is dead. Oh my god. Could you hear all of that? Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't listening,
00:44:39but how about you guys finish up your conversation and then we can pick this up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:43Okay. Bye. Oh my god. Hey, Deb. I really can't talk right now. Brett and I have a big project
00:44:56due tomorrow and he's late with his part again. Deb? Deb, what's wrong?
00:45:03Oh my god. Oh my god. You're pregnant? I don't even know how to hold it. I peed on it.
00:45:14Oh. I thought you guys used condoms. We use so many. We have so much sex and use so many.
00:45:24Well, they do say the effectiveness is only 98%, so this is a fascinating case study.
00:45:29Martha! Sorry, not being helpful.
00:45:33Are you gonna keep it? I don't know. I have so many plans for my career. I don't think I'm ready
00:45:39to be a mom. Well, what did Drew say? Who doesn't know? Deb, you have to tell him. I can't. He's taking
00:45:47me to see his parents tonight. He's taking me to see his parents tonight. Eek! He told me they're super
00:45:53traditional and they think Drew's a virgin and they're gonna think that I corrupted their son. Okay,
00:45:58Deb, Drew loves you. I know he'll be supportive. And I'm sure his parents will come around too.
00:46:05Oh, that's him. What do I do? You tell the truth!
00:46:09Okay, I'll call you later. Okay. Good luck.
00:46:17Well, hello, my beautiful lady. I require your assistance in selecting the appropriate
00:46:22attire for this evening. What do you think? Blue?
00:46:24Orange. Orange. It matches my dress. Is that new mascara you're wearing? You look smaller.
00:46:33Um, Drew B, I have something that I need to tell you.
00:46:37Oh, I already know what you're gonna say. You do? You're afraid my mom's gonna make you eat cheese.
00:46:43Cheese? But don't worry. I already explained the whole veganism thing to her anyway.
00:46:49And she totally gets it now. She's making vegan meatloaf for dinner. I love vegan meatloaf.
00:46:55So, are you excited to meet my parents tonight? Because they are stoked to meet you. Are you
00:47:01are you excited to meet my parents tonight? Because they are stoked to meet you. They're not gonna be
00:47:06very stoked about me. Are you kidding me? They're gonna absolutely love you. This is the first time
00:47:13I'm ever bringing a girl over. Oh, no. Really? Yeah. Oh, my mom's gonna absolutely adore you. Hey,
00:47:22you, my lady, are perfect. Trust me, okay? I'll see you soon.
00:47:31How'd it go? I couldn't tell him. Deb, it's his baby. You have to tell him at some point. Nope. I just
00:47:40gotta make it through tonight. Because his parents are so excited to meet me. And they won't be able
00:47:46to tell I'm pregnant because I'm just bloated. So, I will tell him when we get home.
00:47:54Oh, it's Brett. We gotta finish this assignment. You got this, Deb. Okay.
00:48:01I think I'm gonna puke more.
00:48:28I think I'm gonna puke, Marr.
00:48:31Drinking on a Tuesday night, huh?
00:48:33Been there, done that.
00:48:34Oh, Tilla, sorry, I thought you were Martha.
00:48:38What?
00:48:39Ew, no.
00:48:40Hey, hey, are you in the Longhorn's upstairs bathroom?
00:48:44Yes.
00:48:45I knew I recognized it.
00:48:48I puked there once during a rager.
00:48:50So, is Drew having a party?
00:48:53I've had dinner with his parents.
00:48:56Oh, the food's that bad?
00:48:57No, I'm just not feeling very well.
00:49:00Anyway, what do you want?
00:49:02Well, that's no way to treat your favorite study buddy.
00:49:07All right, listen, I need help on our French porn homework.
00:49:10Can we just talk later?
00:49:12You look different.
00:49:14What do you mean?
00:49:16You look different.
00:49:18What do you mean?
00:49:20Oh my God.
00:49:21What, what?
00:49:22Are you pregnant?
00:49:24No, how can you tell?
00:49:27I have a six cents for these kinds of things.
00:49:29Oh my God, do you think his parents know?
00:49:32Oh my God, you haven't told Drew yet, have you?
00:49:36Everything okay in there, babe?
00:49:38Yes, fantastic.
00:49:40I am just changing my tampon.
00:49:44Well, my mom said that she wanted me to bring you some seltzer water.
00:49:47She thinks you look a little flushed.
00:49:48No.
00:49:51Was it the meatloaf?
00:49:52No, Drew B.
00:49:54I'm just taking a real big poop.
00:49:57You just go back into dinner and I'll see you in a minute.
00:50:01Okay.
00:50:02Okay.
00:50:03Let me know if you need anything.
00:50:04Will do.
00:50:07Say no.
00:50:08She totally knows.
00:50:09Okay.
00:50:10Mrs. Longhorn is oblivious.
00:50:12She thinks all girls are angels.
00:50:14She even called me an angel one time after I threw up a liter of vodka in her bathroom.
00:50:19How do I get out of this?
00:50:21Just go back out there and tell them you were up late studying and you feel like shit.
00:50:26And then go home with Drew and fess up.
00:50:29Okay.
00:50:31Thank you, Dilla.
00:50:33That was weirdly helpful.
00:50:35No biggie.
00:50:42Are you mad at me, babe?
00:50:45No.
00:50:46Is it because I kissed Martha one time?
00:50:48I didn't even know you back then.
00:50:50No.
00:50:51Did my parents say something that upset you?
00:50:54I ruined everything tonight.
00:50:56No, you didn't, babe.
00:50:57My mom loved you.
00:50:58She said that you're like an angel.
00:51:01If only they knew I corrupted their son.
00:51:04Babe, what are you talking about?
00:51:08Check my purse.
00:51:09What am I hurting for?
00:51:10Oh my god.
00:51:11I'm so sorry.
00:51:12Yeah!
00:51:13Woo!
00:51:14Oh man!
00:51:15What?
00:51:16I thought you'd be devastated.
00:51:17What about your parents?
00:51:18Devastated?
00:51:19Babe, my mom loves babies.
00:51:22You know what this means though, right?
00:51:23Hmm.
00:51:24Deborah Davis.
00:51:25Oh my god.
00:51:26Oh my god.
00:51:27I'm so sorry.
00:51:28Yeah!
00:51:29Woo!
00:51:30Oh man!
00:51:31What?
00:51:32I thought you'd be devastated.
00:51:33What about your parents?
00:51:34Devastated?
00:51:35Babe, my mom loves babies.
00:51:37You know what this means though, right?
00:51:38Hmm.
00:51:39Hmm.
00:51:40Deborah Davis.
00:51:41Will you...
00:51:42Oh!
00:51:43Period!
00:51:44Period!
00:51:45Period!
00:51:46I have my period!
00:51:47Oh!
00:51:48Oh!
00:51:49Oh!
00:51:50Oh!
00:51:51Oh!
00:51:52Oh!
00:51:53Oh!
00:51:54Oh!
00:51:55Oh!
00:51:56Oh!
00:51:57Oh!
00:51:58Oh!
00:51:59Oh!
00:52:00Oh, oh!
00:52:01Oh!
00:52:02Oh!
00:52:03Oh!
00:52:04Oh!
00:52:05Oh!
00:52:06Oh!
00:52:07Hey what's up! Guess what? What? I have an exciting study sesh planned for us tonight that doesn't
00:52:22include books. Um how is that studying? You'll see. First I need you to turn off all of your lights.
00:52:29Uh what? Just do it. Quick! And then turn on those little twinkly lights above your bed.
00:52:39Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to learn anything? Martha, a little trust please. So are you
00:52:46gonna tell me what we're doing or? The History Channel is streaming a Napoleon biopic which
00:52:52covers everything in our current chapter. Really? Yeah and I thought we could watch it together.
00:52:57That actually sounds fun. I'm gonna send you the link.
00:53:00Ooh I wish I had popcorn or something. Yeah that would be nice. Alright I'm gonna start it.
00:53:08Oh wait hold on one second.
00:53:15Weird. This takeout delivery staff just showed up and I didn't even order anything. I did.
00:53:30What? Yeah I thought we'd get hungry so I ordered us French food. Because of Napoleon.
00:53:38uh I'm sorry not to be a downer or anything but this isn't studying. It's not supposed to be. Huh?
00:53:46It's a date Martha. Hi? Oh uh I'm sorry I'm confused. I've been wanting to ask you out but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet after Trevor so I thought I'd act like it was a study
00:54:04thing and see how you felt at the end. That's actually really sweet. Brett but this is not gonna work.
00:54:12Why? Are you kidding me? We're study buddies. What's gonna happen if this date doesn't go well and then
00:54:18things get awkward and we get a bad grade on the assignment and then I flunk out of class.
00:54:22Okay if we weren't study buddies then would you be interested in me?
00:54:25Well yeah I guess. Why are you blushing? I didn't say the word virgin.
00:54:35Brett! Look my motto is to live in the now so worrying about how this could get awkward in the future
00:54:42it's pointless. Okay. And if it does get awkward I'll still be glad I tried. That's a bad choice.
00:54:50I live my life from one awkward moment to the next and I do not recommend it. Well you should.
00:54:56You know tons of good things come out of scary conversations. Uh such as? Such as going on a date
00:55:02with a girl you like. If you're not doing things that scare you you're not living life.
00:55:11You know what? I guess you have a point. All right let's do this date. Excellent.
00:55:19Bon Appetit. These reforms brought rejoicing to many. So question. If you knew you were going to die
00:55:29in the next 30 days how would you spend the next month? Well this month I'm in the chem lab for like
00:55:3430 hours and then. But you're gonna die. Dead. Why would you go to the chem lab? Because I'm mid-experiment.
00:55:41Martha. Burn the planner. I like plans. I like to know what's gonna happen next.
00:55:47Is this date putting you on edge? No. Are you having just a little bit of fun? Yes.
00:55:53But you don't know what I have planned next. Oh no. No I'm not gonna do anything crazy.
00:56:00I just think sometimes you're so worried about checking off boxes that you're gonna miss out
00:56:05on what's happening right in front of you. You're an eat dessert first kind of person aren't you? You know it.
00:56:13Okay if I was gonna die in 30 days I'd go to the beach more. Amazing. I'd spend all my money on an
00:56:23expensive designer jacket. There you go. And I'd find someone to kiss. A lot. Me too. Kissing's the best.
00:56:32Kissing's the best. I know. What's your favorite place to be kissed? Huh. I guess I'd have to say my
00:56:42my sharp edges. What does that mean? My jawline, collarbone, even my fingers. It kind of reminds me
00:56:50where I start and stop. This is embarrassing. No I think it's sexy. What about you? Where in the world
00:56:59would you like to be kissed? Like in your apartment or walking down the street? The ocean. Wow that
00:57:08sounds dreamy. It is. Have you ever had sex on a beach? No I'm kind of inexperienced remember? Right.
00:57:17Right. Well don't. It's what I was gonna say. You don't have to do that. No no it's it's not.
00:57:23Sand gets in your butt crack. It's horrible. Yeah. When they do it in the movies it looks horrible.
00:57:30Hey. Sorry. Yeah I didn't mean to make you feel bad. No it's fine. It is what it is.
00:57:36You know it doesn't matter right? Sure it does. Most people my age have had tons of sex.
00:57:41There you go. Checking off those boxes. And that is also not true. My roommate is a virgin.
00:57:47Great. But I don't want to die only having had sex one time and only kissing two people. That's
00:57:53pathetic. What if you only kissed two people but one of them was your perfect match? Okay you know
00:57:58what? Let's say you're right. What if I did only kiss two people and what if one of them was my perfect
00:58:04match? And now he's dead. No I didn't. Yeah you sure did. So yeah I found my guy. We kissed. We had sex. It wasn't
00:58:13even that good. It never is the first time. Thanks I've been told. And so now he's dead and I can either
00:58:19have a thousand bad kisses or never kiss anyone again. And you know what? If any of those kisses
00:58:24are anything like Drew Longhorn's I think I'd rather kiss no one. Not even me? I think I'd rather kiss no one.
00:58:33You did this didn't you? I have no idea what you're talking about. The guitarist? Outside my window? Oh come on he has a sign that says
00:59:03for Martha. Okay all right. I asked my roommate to play romantic french music but he insisted on
00:59:10playing spanish guitar. That's really sweet. You know what? I tried but failed. This has just been one
00:59:17complete disaster. No it wasn't at all. Nope it's okay we can end this now. I'll call my roommate and
00:59:23we'd be done with it. No don't please. This is actually one of the best dates I've ever been on. No one's
00:59:30ever really planned a whole night like this just for me. Look I realize that you haven't been on
00:59:35many dates and that's that is that is fine but crying in the middle of it it's not a good sign.
00:59:45And look I should never have pushed you so far out of your comfort zone it's that's not okay.
00:59:49I'm so sorry Brett. No don't apologize. No you planned the sweetest date ever and I brought up my dead
01:00:02boyfriend and cried. Hello I'm Martha and I ruin everything. No you didn't ruin anything because
01:00:09that would mean I don't like you anymore and I think I'm into you now more than ever.
01:00:14How is that even possible? Because you're incredibly real. I'm not trying to figure out what you're
01:00:21thinking because let's be honest you say it out loud all the time. That's not a good thing.
01:00:29Well I think it is.
01:00:33So any other surprises? No that was the last one. Then while our guitarist is on a break I want to play
01:00:43you this new song I'm into. Okay cool. But there's one condition. Uh oh. We have to dance.
01:00:49Like in our rooms? Or you want me to come over? No no no stand up right here right now dance with me.
01:00:59Okay. Wait hang on I got the best idea.
01:01:12Let's see if I want to get on with it after all this time.
01:01:15I'm gonna be alright be alright be alright right
01:01:19I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you
01:01:28I don't need you. I don't need you. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't need you. I don't need you.
01:01:37That was so much fun.
01:01:39Yeah. I haven't danced like that in a long time.
01:01:42Me neither.
01:01:44Hey, I had a really great time tonight. Like, really great.
01:01:48Yeah. Yeah, me too.
01:01:50Martha?
01:01:51Yeah?
01:01:52I really hope you kiss more than two people in your lifetime.
01:01:54Oh yeah? How come?
01:01:56Because I plan on being number three.
01:01:59I'd like that.
01:02:02All right, I'll talk to you soon.
01:02:14Hey nerd.
01:02:15Why are you calling me?
01:02:17Well, I heard you and Brett are talking. Or whatever.
01:02:21And that is your business. How?
01:02:24Well, there's something you should know.
01:02:26About Brett.
01:02:27What?
01:02:29What?