- 2 days ago
Join the legendary Marx Brothers in their most iconic comedy, A Night at the Opera (1935). Filled with fast-paced jokes, outrageous antics, and a brilliant blend of music and madness, this classic film delivers non-stop laughter. Watch Groucho, Chico, and Harpo turn the world of opera upside down in one of the funniest movies of all time!
Public domain film.
Restored for historical and entertainment purposes.
Public domain film.
Restored for historical and entertainment purposes.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00Gentleman is not arrived yet.
00:01:25No, he has not.
00:01:26I'm afraid the dinner will be spoiled.
00:01:28What difference does it make?
00:01:29It's too late to dine now.
00:01:32Oh, boy.
00:01:33Yes, ma'am.
00:01:33Will you page Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please?
00:01:37Mr. Otis B. Driftwood.
00:01:40Page Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:42Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:44Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:47Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:48Boy, will you do me a favor and stop yelling my name all over this restaurant?
00:01:51Do I go around yelling your name?
00:01:53Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:54Say, is your voice changing or is somebody else paging me around here?
00:01:57Mr. Driftwood.
00:01:58Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello.
00:02:00Mr. Driftwood, you invited me to dine with you at 7 o'clock.
00:02:03It is now 8 o'clock and no dinner.
00:02:05What do you mean no dinner?
00:02:06I just had one of the biggest meals I've ever ate in my life.
00:02:08And no thanks to you either.
00:02:10I've been sitting right here since 7 o'clock.
00:02:12Yes, will you back to me?
00:02:13When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face.
00:02:15That's the price she has to pay.
00:02:17You checked, sir.
00:02:19$9.40?
00:02:20This is an outrage.
00:02:22If I were you, I wouldn't pay it.
00:02:25Now then, Mrs. Claypool, what are we going to have for dinner?
00:02:28You've had your dinner.
00:02:28All right, we'll have breakfast.
00:02:30Waiter?
00:02:31Yes, sir.
00:02:31Have you got any milk-fat chicken?
00:02:33Yes, sir.
00:02:34Well, squeeze the milk out.
00:02:34I want to bring me a glass.
00:02:36Yes, sir.
00:02:37Mr. Driftwood, three months ago, you promised to put me into society.
00:02:41In all that time, you've done nothing but draw a very handsome salary.
00:02:44You think that's nothing, huh?
00:02:45How many men do you suppose are drawing a handsome salary nowadays?
00:02:48Why, you can count them on the fingers of one hand.
00:02:50My good woman.
00:02:51I'm not your good woman.
00:02:52Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool.
00:02:54I don't care what your past has been.
00:02:56To me, you'll always be my good woman.
00:02:57Because I love you.
00:02:59There.
00:03:00I didn't mean to tell you, but you dragged it out of me.
00:03:02I love you.
00:03:03It's rather difficult to believe that when I find you dining with another woman.
00:03:07That woman?
00:03:08Do you know why I sat with her?
00:03:09No.
00:03:10Because she reminded me of you.
00:03:13Really?
00:03:13Of course.
00:03:14That's why I'm sitting here with you.
00:03:16Because you remind me of you.
00:03:18Your eyes, your throat, your lips.
00:03:20Everything about you reminds me of you.
00:03:22Except you.
00:03:23How do you account for that?
00:03:24If she figures that one out, she's good.
00:03:27Mr. Driftwood, I think we'd better keep everything on a business basis.
00:03:30How do you like that?
00:03:31Every time I get romantic with you, you want to talk business.
00:03:34I don't know.
00:03:35There's something about me that brings out the business in every woman.
00:03:37All right, we'll talk business.
00:03:41You see that man over there eating spaghetti?
00:03:42No.
00:03:43Well, you see the spaghetti, don't you?
00:03:45Now, behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Gottlieb, director of the New York Opera Company.
00:03:50Do you follow me?
00:03:51Yes.
00:03:52Well, stop following me.
00:03:53I'll have you arrested.
00:03:54Now, I have arranged for you to invest $200,000 in the New York Opera Company.
00:03:58I don't understand.
00:03:59Don't you see?
00:04:00You'll be a patron of the opera.
00:04:01You'll get into society.
00:04:03Then you can marry me, and they'll kick you out of society.
00:04:05And all you've lost is $200,000.
00:04:08Oh, Mr. Triftwood.
00:04:09Oh, Gottlieb.
00:04:10Allow me.
00:04:11Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gutley.
00:04:13Mr. Gutley, Mrs. Claypool.
00:04:14Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gutley.
00:04:16Mr. Gutley, Mrs. Claypool.
00:04:17Mrs. Claypool, I could go on like this all night, but it's tough on my suspenders.
00:04:21Now, where was I?
00:04:22Oh, yes.
00:04:23Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gutley, Mr. Gutley, Mrs. Claypool, Mrs. Claypool, Mr. Gutley, Mr. Gutley, Mr. Gutley, Mr. Gutley, Mr. Gutley.
00:04:27Claypool.
00:04:27Now, if you four people want to play bridge, don't mind me.
00:04:30Go right ahead.
00:04:31Mrs. Claypool, I am so happy.
00:04:35I just wanted to see if your rings were still there.
00:04:38Oh, Mrs. Claypool, you're as charming as you are beautiful.
00:04:41I'm afraid you've used that speech before, Mr. Gutleib.
00:04:44Now listen here, Gutleib.
00:04:45Making love to Mrs. Claypool is my racket.
00:04:47What you're after is $200,000.
00:04:50And you better make it sound plausible,
00:04:52because incredible as it may seem,
00:04:53Mrs. Claypool isn't as big a sap as she looks.
00:04:56How's that for lovemaking?
00:04:58I think the Europeans do it better.
00:05:01All right, Gutleib, it's your turn.
00:05:02You take a whack at it and keep it clean.
00:05:06Oh, Mrs. Claypool, it is most generous of you to help us.
00:05:09Now, you have, of course, heard of Rudolfo Laspari.
00:05:13Oh, of course.
00:05:14Oh, he's the greatest tenner since Caruso.
00:05:16Yes.
00:05:17Tonight, with the money you so generously provide,
00:05:20I sign Laspari for the opera company.
00:05:23He will be a sensei.
00:05:25All New York will be at your feet.
00:05:27Well, that's plenty of room.
00:05:29And now the opera awaits us.
00:05:32If you both will honor me by occupying my bags,
00:05:34I should be charmed.
00:05:36And you, Mr. Thrinston?
00:05:37Well, I'll join up with you later.
00:05:39And listen, Gutleib, Nick's on the lovemaking,
00:05:40because I saw Mrs. Claypool first.
00:05:42Of course, her mother really saw her first,
00:05:44but there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this.
00:05:46What are you doing in my costume?
00:06:10Take it off at once, do you hear?
00:06:11Immediately.
00:06:16Why, you...
00:06:18You...
00:06:20Take that off.
00:06:31Take off that dress, do you hear me?
00:06:33You dumb idiot, you do what I say,
00:06:35or I'll break your neck.
00:06:40Do you hear me?
00:06:41Take off that dress.
00:06:43If I get my hands on you,
00:06:44you'll never hear the end of this.
00:06:46You're no longer my dresser, you're fired.
00:06:48Get out, get out!
00:06:50Get out, do you hear me?
00:06:51Out you go!
00:06:52And don't come back in here again.
00:06:53Don't you care.
00:07:04You're lucky to be rid of him.
00:07:10Oh, good evening, Rosa.
00:07:11Good evening, Signore.
00:07:12D'Amaso, why don't you come in?
00:07:14I've been waiting for you.
00:07:15Are they not beautiful, Signorina,
00:07:24from Signor Lasparri?
00:07:25I wouldn't wear them
00:07:26if they were the only flowers in the world.
00:07:28Come in.
00:07:30Oh, no, not if you're going to use that tone.
00:07:32Now, let's try the whole thing all over again,
00:07:34only this time try to be a little more cautious.
00:07:37Come in.
00:07:38Oh, that's better.
00:07:39Now, let's try it once more.
00:07:40No, Ricky, you're such a fool.
00:07:42Now, what was it you wanted to see me about?
00:07:45Oh, I suppose I sent for you.
00:07:47Well, you meant to.
00:07:48Didn't she, Marie?
00:07:49Uh-huh.
00:07:50Now, look, here it is,
00:07:51the last night of the season,
00:07:52and I'm more in love with you than ever.
00:07:54Now, what are you going to do about it?
00:07:55Now, Ricardo,
00:07:56we have all summer to talk that over.
00:07:58Tonight, we have to sing an opera.
00:08:00Have to sing an opera?
00:08:01You have to sing an opera.
00:08:02I'm nothing but a glorified chorus, ma'am.
00:08:04Don't say that.
00:08:05I've got to say it.
00:08:07I've got something else to say.
00:08:08What are you doing tonight,
00:08:10unless that big, handless Sparries
00:08:11asked you first?
00:08:12He has asked me first.
00:08:14Just my luck.
00:08:15But I'm having supper with you, Ricardo.
00:08:18Hooray!
00:08:18We'll have champagne, music, flowers.
00:08:23That's Sparries.
00:08:24Oh, no.
00:08:25No flowers.
00:08:30Well, Fiorello.
00:08:32Tony.
00:08:33Where have you been all this week?
00:08:34Oh, here, there, different places.
00:08:36You got some mail for me?
00:08:38Mail for you?
00:08:38You don't work here.
00:08:39All right.
00:08:40Victor, what am I going to get in my mail?
00:08:41I don't work anyplace.
00:08:46Hey, Tomasso!
00:08:56Hey, that's so good.
00:08:57Don't be so glad.
00:08:58I brought you a present.
00:08:59I brought you a present.
00:09:01You got something for me, too?
00:09:03Marica.
00:09:05Where's...
00:09:06Where's the Ricardo?
00:09:07All right, here.
00:09:08What are you doing here?
00:09:31I thought you were out for the circus.
00:09:33The circus?
00:09:34When was I with the circus?
00:09:35Oh, I nearly forgot.
00:09:36It was a long time ago, last week.
00:09:38Why, since then, I have lots of jobs.
00:09:40Your piano and my voice.
00:09:42You know, all those years we studied at the Conservatory
00:09:44and what's come of it?
00:09:45Oh, what's the matter with you?
00:09:47We're still young.
00:09:48We got our help.
00:09:53You hear that?
00:09:54Someday, Ricardo, you're going to be where Las Parias.
00:09:57Why, when you were little boy six years older,
00:09:59you'd sing better than Las Parias.
00:10:00Yeah, maybe I was better at six than I am now.
00:10:02Ah, you're making me sick.
00:10:04You're crazy.
00:10:05Why, you sing better than Las Parias ever could sing,
00:10:07and you know it.
00:10:08All right, I know it and you know it,
00:10:09but the public doesn't know it.
00:10:10All right, we tell the public what you need is a manager,
00:10:14a wise guy, somebody who's very smart.
00:10:17Hey, I know just the matter for you.
00:10:20You do?
00:10:21Who is it?
00:10:22Me.
00:10:23I bet you wouldn't make any money at it.
00:10:24All right, I break even just as long as I'm no losing, I think.
00:10:27What a fuck.
00:10:32Is the opera over yet?
00:10:33Not yet, senora, in a few minutes.
00:10:35Hey, you, I told you to slow that nag down.
00:10:37On account of you, I nearly heard the opera.
00:10:39Now then, once around the park and drive slowly.
00:10:41And none of your back talk.
00:10:53You're still crazy about her?
00:10:55And, uh, she's crazy about you two?
00:10:57Even if she was, I couldn't ask her to marry me.
00:10:59Hey, don't worry.
00:11:00The manager, he's a fix everything.
00:11:02Anyhow, we're together again.
00:11:03You and me, just like old times, eh?
00:11:05Yeah, like old times.
00:11:06Hey, you better my life.
00:11:08If you pardon my saying so, Mrs. Claypool,
00:11:10Mr. Thriftwood seems to me hardly the person to handle your business affairs.
00:11:13I'm beginning to think the same thing.
00:11:14Bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo.
00:11:20Well, I made it.
00:11:21How soon is the curtain go up?
00:11:22With the curtain, Mr. Thriftwood will go up again next season.
00:11:23You've missed the entire opera.
00:11:24Well, I only missed it by a few minutes.
00:11:26Then I can go then, eh?
00:11:27Oh, Mrs. Claypool, was I right?
00:11:28Isn't Laspari the greatest tenor that ever lived?
00:11:29He's the third.
00:11:30Well, Mr. Thriftwood, I'm not only the person to handle your business affairs.
00:11:31I'm beginning to think the same thing.
00:11:32Bravo, bravo, bravo, bravo.
00:11:34Well, I made it.
00:11:35How soon does the curtain go up?
00:11:36The curtain, Mr. Thriftwood, will go up again next season.
00:11:39You've missed the entire opera.
00:11:41Well, I only missed it by a few minutes.
00:11:44Then I can go then, eh?
00:11:45Oh, Mrs. Claypool, was I right? Isn't Laspari the greatest tenor that ever lived?
00:11:49He's superb. But what would you have to pay him?
00:11:51What's the difference? He must sail with us tomorrow, no matter how much we pay him.
00:11:55Why, he would be worth a thousand dollars a night.
00:11:58How much?
00:11:58A thousand dollars a night.
00:11:59A thousand dollars a night? What does he do?
00:12:01What does he do? He sings.
00:12:03And you're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing?
00:12:06Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents.
00:12:09For a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.
00:12:10If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Claypool, I think I had better arrange to see Laspari immediately.
00:12:17You are agreed. A thousand dollars a night.
00:12:18Just as you think.
00:12:20A thousand dollars a night? There must be some way I can get a piece of this.
00:12:22Wait a minute. Why don't I sign Laspari? I represent Mrs. Claypool.
00:12:26But I represent the New York Opera Company.
00:12:28Now, boy, will you give my car to Signor Laspari, please?
00:12:40What is it? What do you want?
00:13:03Rosa.
00:13:04Yes, Signore?
00:13:06My good friend Herman Gottlieb is coming back to see me.
00:13:08How would you like to have supper with us?
00:13:10Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Signor Laspari. I already have an engagement.
00:13:14Oh, I see.
00:13:16Well, that's too bad, because I have an idea he's going to invite me to sing in New York.
00:13:21And, uh, he may permit me to select my leading lady.
00:13:26Are you sure you can't break your appointment?
00:13:30I'm terribly sorry, Signore.
00:13:32What do you mean by humiliating me in front of all those people?
00:13:46You're fired. Do you understand? You're fired.
00:13:48Hey, you big bully, what's the idea of hitting that little bully?
00:13:50Will you kindly let me handle my own affairs?
00:13:52Get out.
00:13:54Now, what have you got to say to me?
00:13:55Just this. Can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?
00:13:58Why, you.
00:14:04Nice work. I think you got him.
00:14:07Ah, smelling salts.
00:14:08That'll bring him, too.
00:14:10You're sorry for what you did, eh?
00:14:12That shows a nice spirit.
00:14:15Oh, he's coming along.
00:14:17Yeah, he'll be fine.
00:14:23Get fresh with me, eh?
00:14:25How do you do?
00:14:26Hello.
00:14:28What's the matter, mister?
00:14:29Oh, we had an argument, and he pulled a knife on me, so I shot him.
00:14:32Do you mind if I, uh...
00:14:33No, no, go right ahead. Plenty of room.
00:14:36Two beers, bartender.
00:14:38I'll take two beers, too.
00:14:40Well, things seem to be getting better around the country.
00:14:42I don't know how I'm a stranger here myself.
00:14:45Say, uh, I just remembered.
00:14:46I came back here looking for somebody.
00:14:48You don't know who it is, do you?
00:14:49Here's a funny thing. It just slipped my mind.
00:14:52Oh, I know. I know.
00:14:53The greatest tenor in the world. That's what I'm after.
00:14:55Why, I'm his manager.
00:14:57Whose manager?
00:14:58The greatest tenor in the world.
00:14:59The fellow that sings at the opera here?
00:15:01Sure.
00:15:03What's his name?
00:15:05Well, you'll care. It's Mike can't pronounce it.
00:15:07What do you want with him?
00:15:09Well, uh, I want to sign him up for the New York Opera Company.
00:15:12You know that America is waiting to hear him sing?
00:15:14Well, he can sing loud, but he can't sing that loud.
00:15:18Well, I think I can get America to meet him halfway.
00:15:21Could he sail tomorrow?
00:15:22You'll pay him enough money he could sail yesterday.
00:15:25How much you pay him?
00:15:26Well, I don't know. Let's see.
00:15:28A thousand dollars a night.
00:15:30I'm entitled to a small profit.
00:15:33How about ten dollars a night?
00:15:35Ten? Ten dollars?
00:15:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:15:38I'll take it.
00:15:41All right, but remember, I get ten percent for negotiating the deal.
00:15:44Yes, and I get ten percent for being the manager.
00:15:47How much does that leave?
00:15:48Well, that leaves him, uh, eight dollars.
00:15:52Eight dollars, eh?
00:15:53Well, he sends a five dollars home to his mother.
00:15:55Well, that leaves three dollars.
00:15:57Three dollars.
00:15:57Can he live in New York on three dollars?
00:15:59Like a prince.
00:16:01Of course, he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince.
00:16:04However, out of that three dollars, you know, he'll have to pay an income tax.
00:16:07Oh, his income tax.
00:16:07Yes, you know, there's a federal tax and a state tax and a city tax
00:16:11and a street tax and a sewer tax.
00:16:13How much does this come to?
00:16:15Well, I figure if he doesn't sing too often, he can break even.
00:16:18All right, we take it.
00:16:20All right, fine.
00:16:21Now, here are the contracts.
00:16:23You just put his name at the top and, uh, and you sign at the bottom.
00:16:26There's no need of you reading that because these are duplicates.
00:16:29Yeah, there's a duplicate.
00:16:33Duplicates, eh?
00:16:33I say they're, they're duplicates.
00:16:34Oh, sure, it's a duplicate, eh?
00:16:36Don't you know what duplicates are?
00:16:38Sure, there's five kids up in Canada.
00:16:41Well, I wouldn't know about that.
00:16:45I haven't been in Canada in years.
00:16:48Well, go ahead and read it.
00:16:51What does it say?
00:16:53Well, go on and read it.
00:16:55Well, after you read it, Gunn.
00:16:56All right, I'll read it to you.
00:16:59Can you hear?
00:17:01I haven't heard anything yet.
00:17:03Did you say anything?
00:17:04Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
00:17:06Well, that's why I didn't hear anything.
00:17:08Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
00:17:10Can you read?
00:17:19I can read, but I can't see it.
00:17:23I don't seem to have it in focus here.
00:17:25I can read it.
00:17:25I can read it.
00:17:26Well, I don't know.
00:17:26I can read it.
00:17:27Well, I don't know.
00:17:27I don't know.
00:17:28I don't know.
00:17:28I can read it.
00:17:29I don't know.
00:17:29I can read it.
00:17:30I can read it.
00:17:30If my arms were a little longer, I could read it.
00:17:31You haven't got a baboon in your pocket, have you?
00:17:34Here, here.
00:17:34Here we are.
00:17:35Now, I've got it.
00:17:36Now, I'll pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important.
00:17:40It says, the party of the first part should be known in this contract as the party of the first part.
00:17:47Well, that's the first part.
00:17:48How do you like that?
00:17:49That's pretty neat, eh?
00:17:50No, that's no good.
00:17:51What's the matter with her?
00:17:53I don't know.
00:17:53Let's hear it again.
00:17:54It says the party of the first part should be known in this contract as the party of the first part.
00:18:01Well, that sounds a little better this time.
00:18:05Well, it grows on you.
00:18:07Would you like to hear it once more?
00:18:09Just the first part.
00:18:09What do you mean? The party of the first part?
00:18:11No, the first part of the party of the first part.
00:18:17All right. It says the, uh,
00:18:19the first part of the party of the first part
00:18:21shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part
00:18:24shall be known in this contract.
00:18:26Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this?
00:18:28We'll take it right out, huh?
00:18:30It's too long anyhow.
00:18:32Now what do we got left?
00:18:34Well, I got about a foot and a half.
00:18:36Now it says the, the party of the second part should be known in this contract
00:18:41as the party of the second part.
00:18:43Well, I don't know about that.
00:18:46Now what's the matter?
00:18:47I don't like the second party either.
00:18:49Well, you should have come to the first party.
00:18:51We didn't get home at around four in the morning.
00:18:53I was blind for three days.
00:18:56Hey, look.
00:18:57Why can't the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party?
00:19:00Then you've got something.
00:19:02Well, look, uh, rather than go through all that again, what do you say?
00:19:05Fine.
00:19:06Now, uh, now I've got something here you're bound to like.
00:19:09You be crazy about it.
00:19:10No, I don't like it.
00:19:11You don't like what?
00:19:12Whatever it is, I don't like it.
00:19:14Well, don't let's break up an old friendship over a thing like that.
00:19:17Ready?
00:19:18Okay.
00:19:19Now the next part I don't think you're going to like.
00:19:23Well, your word's good enough for me.
00:19:25Now then, is my word good enough for you?
00:19:27I should say not.
00:19:28Well, that takes out two more clauses.
00:19:30Now, the party of the eighth part.
00:19:31No, that's no good, no.
00:19:32The party of the ninth part.
00:19:33No, that's no good, no.
00:19:34The party of the ninth part.
00:19:35No, that's no good, too.
00:19:36Hey, how is it my contract is skinnier than yours?
00:19:41Well, I don't know.
00:19:42You must have been out on the tail last night.
00:19:45But anyhow, we're all set now, aren't we?
00:19:47Oh, sure.
00:19:48Now just, uh, just you put your name right down there and then the deal is, uh, legal.
00:19:51I forgot to tell you, I can't write.
00:19:52Well, that's all right.
00:19:53There's no ink in the pen anyhow.
00:19:54But listen, it's a contract, isn't it?
00:19:55Oh, sure.
00:19:56We've got a contract, no matter how small it is.
00:19:57Hey, wait, wait.
00:19:58What does this say here, this thing here?
00:19:59Oh, that?
00:20:00Oh, that's the usual clause.
00:20:01That's in every contract.
00:20:02That just says, uh, it says, uh, if any of the parties participating in this contract
00:20:08are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified.
00:20:13Well, I don't know.
00:20:14It's all right.
00:20:15That's in every contract.
00:20:16If any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind,
00:20:19it's all right.
00:20:20That's in every contract.
00:20:21That's, that's what they call a sanity clause.
00:20:24You can't fool me.
00:20:25There ain't no sanity clause.
00:20:27Well, you win the white carnation.
00:20:30I give this to Ricardo.
00:20:31Sensation in New York.
00:20:32Oh, pardon me.
00:20:33Could you tell me where Senor Lasparri is?
00:20:34Sure, there's Lasparri.
00:20:35Lasparri?
00:20:36Lasparri?
00:20:37Then whom did I sign?
00:20:38You sign Ricardo Veroni.
00:20:39That's my man.
00:20:40Senor Lasparri, what happened?
00:20:41Speak to me.
00:20:42It's me.
00:20:43It's Godly.
00:20:44Speak to me.
00:20:45It's me.
00:20:46It's me.
00:20:47It's Godly.
00:20:48What is this now?
00:20:50How early the fruit is falling this season.
00:20:54Are you sure you have everything okay?
00:20:55I've never had any complaints yet.
00:20:56Well, here you are.
00:21:00On your way to America and Bane.
00:21:01Oh, Ricardo.
00:21:02I'm going to miss.
00:21:03How do you think I feel about it?
00:21:05Oh, Miss Castaldi, all ready for the big trip?
00:21:07Oh, Mr. Gottlieb.
00:21:08This is Ricardo Veroni of the Opera Company.
00:21:10How do you do?
00:21:11Oh, well, Mr. Gottlieb, this is Ricardo Veroni of the Opera Company.
00:21:12How do you do?
00:21:13Well, I'll miss you.
00:21:14I'll miss you.
00:21:15I'll miss you.
00:21:16I'll miss you.
00:21:17Oh, Riccardo, I'm going to miss.
00:21:20How do you think I feel about it?
00:21:22Oh, Miss Castaldi, all ready for the big trip?
00:21:24Oh, Mr. Gottlieb, this is Riccardo Barone of the Opera Company.
00:21:28How do you do?
00:21:29Barone? Did you say Barone?
00:21:32Is it as funny as all that?
00:21:34Oh, Mr. Otis, we drift would seem to think that you had quite a voice.
00:21:37Oh, he has, Mr. Gottlieb. Really, he has. A wonderful voice.
00:21:41Yes, really, I have. Well, that's interesting.
00:21:43Oh, Ruzolfo! Rosa!
00:21:46Oh, my boy!
00:21:50Come on, Riccardo, come on.
00:21:52Oh, thanks.
00:21:53Come on, Ricky!
00:21:57Come on, Ricky!
00:22:07Yeah?
00:22:09Will you give us a farewell song?
00:22:10Oh, please, sing it!
00:22:12Oh, my dear friends, I am so sorry I must be excused, but I have a slight touch of laryngitis.
00:22:18Oh, that's true.
00:22:19Where's Rosa?
00:22:20Yes, Rosa!
00:22:21Yes, Rosa!
00:22:22Yes, Rosa!
00:22:23Why should I sing for them when I'm not being paid for it?
00:22:27Yes, Rosa!
00:22:28Yes, Rosa!
00:22:29Yes, Rosa!
00:22:30Yes, Rosa!
00:22:31Yes, Rosa!
00:22:32Yes, Rosa!
00:22:33Yes, Rosa!
00:22:34Yes, Rosa!
00:22:35Yes, of course I'll sing!
00:22:36Oh, my dear!
00:22:37Come on, I'm not being paid for it.
00:22:38I'll find you in this dream, I dream with every song inside, I'll count the owls when we're apart, for here am I, alone, alone with a sky of romance above, alone, alone when you whisper goodbye.
00:23:08My love, but I will still remember the happiness we've known, and though I may be alone, I'm not alone, as long as I find you in every dream, I know, and I'll see you each night in the sky,
00:23:38and in the light gleam, and in the magic moment, I'll have you for my own, alone, till we are together, we two, alone,
00:24:08alone with a sky of romance above, alone, alone when you whisper goodbye, my love, but I will still remember the happiness we've known,
00:24:30And though I may be alone, I'm not alone, as long as I find you in every dream, I know, I'll see you each night in the starlight gleam,
00:25:00There must be a place for him in New York, not a bad voice, someday perhaps, when he has made the refutation,
00:25:07I'm alone, alone, alone, till we are together, we two, alone, alone,
00:25:14Till we are together, we two, alone, alone,
00:25:30Outro, all a thousand, till we are together, we are together, at the I- what Iあれ them say,
00:25:37shut down!
00:25:45All right, come on out of that seat.
00:25:47Hey, come on, come on.
00:25:49But I will still remember the happiness we've known.
00:25:57And though I may be alone, I'm not alone.
00:26:13All right, take it away.
00:26:22Yes, sir.
00:26:23Hey, have I got time to go back and pay my hotel bill?
00:26:29Sorry, too late.
00:26:30That suits me fine.
00:26:43Hey.
00:26:44Hey, that's mine.
00:26:45A trunk fee, eh?
00:26:46Where you going with that?
00:26:47Suite number 58, sir.
00:26:4858?
00:26:49That's me.
00:26:50Let's go.
00:26:51Ready for your...
00:26:52Hey, what's the idea?
00:26:53What's the idea?
00:26:54Hit and run, driver, eh?
00:26:55I'm sorry, sir.
00:26:56Sorry my eye.
00:26:57Look at that fender.
00:26:58It's all bumped out of shape.
00:27:00You'll pay for this, my good man.
00:27:01Let me see your number.
00:27:0232, eh?
00:27:03You got any insurance?
00:27:04What?
00:27:05Are you insured?
00:27:06No, sir.
00:27:07Well, you're just the fellow I want to see.
00:27:08I have here an accident policy that'll absolutely protect you, no matter what happens.
00:27:10If you lose a leg, we help you look for it.
00:27:11And all this will cost you is, uh...
00:27:12What have you got there?
00:27:13A dollar?
00:27:14One dollar.
00:27:15Here you are.
00:27:16Uh, let's go.
00:27:17There you go.
00:27:18I'm sorry.
00:27:19I'm sorry.
00:27:20I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:21I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:22I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:23Sorry, sir.
00:27:24Sorry, sir.
00:27:25I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:26I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:27I'm sorry, sir.
00:27:28Sorry, sir.
00:27:29Sorry, my eye.
00:27:30Look at that fender.
00:27:31It's all bumped out of shape.
00:27:32You'll pay for this, my good man.
00:27:33Let me see your number.
00:27:3432, eh?
00:27:35You got any insurance?
00:27:36Uh, let's go.
00:27:38It's 8.58 and don't go over 20 miles an hour.
00:27:49Say, was that three fellas or one fella with three beards?
00:27:54Hi, I got leave.
00:27:55I'm always beating around the bush.
00:28:00Wait a minute.
00:28:06Any other two?
00:28:09Anything I can do?
00:28:13Just a little homesick.
00:28:15That's funny.
00:28:16I happen to have with me the greatest prescription for homesickness you ever saw.
00:28:19A fella gave it to me just before the boat sail.
00:28:21Here's the prescription, and, uh, take it, uh...
00:28:22Take it every two hours.
00:28:25two hours I'm going out and get another prescription say pretty classy layout
00:28:51you got here do you like it ah twin beds you little rascal you one of those is a day bed a likely story
00:29:00have you read any good books lately Mr. Driftwood will you please get off the bed what will people
00:29:06say they'll probably say you're a very lucky woman now will you please shut up so I can continue my
00:29:11reading no I will not shut up and will you kindly get up at once all right I'll go I'll make you
00:29:16another proposition let's go in my room and talk the situation over what's the situation well what
00:29:20situations have you got I most certainly will not go to your room okay then I'll stay here
00:29:25I'll come but get out shall we say 10 minutes yes 10 minutes anything but go because if you're not
00:29:41there in 10 minutes I'll be back here in 11 with squeaky shoes on
00:29:45hey wait a minute wait a minute this can't be my room yes sir suite number 58 sir 58 that's an
00:30:05awful big number for a birdcage this size wouldn't it be simpler if you just put the stateroom in the
00:30:10trunk say who is responsible for installing me in this telephone booth mr. gotlead picked it out
00:30:16for you sir gotlead eh well that's awfully decent enough awfully decent did he pick out the whole room
00:30:21or just the porthole I'm sure you'll find it very cozy sir cozy cozy is hardly the word for it
00:30:26anything else sir yes tomorrow you can take the trunk out and I'll go in yes sir
00:30:30Oh for the open highway sing hall for the open road
00:30:48Hello, boss. What are you doing here?
00:30:53Hello.
00:30:54Well, this makes it a perfect voyage.
00:30:56I'm terribly sorry, but I thought this was my trunk.
00:30:58It is your trunk.
00:31:00I don't remember packing you, boys.
00:31:01You remember Ricardo Barone, the greatest tender in the world.
00:31:04You nearly signed him up once.
00:31:05Oh, sure. I just delivered a letter for you. How are you?
00:31:08Pretty good, thanks. Just a little cramped.
00:31:09Well, we're still in the harbor.
00:31:10As soon as we get out in the open ocean, there'll be plenty of room.
00:31:13Say, isn't that my shirt you've got on?
00:31:14Look, I don't know. I found it in the trunk.
00:31:16Well, then it couldn't be mine.
00:31:17Well, it's nice seeing you boys again, but I was expecting my other suit.
00:31:20You didn't happen to see it, did you?
00:31:21Yeah. It took up too much room, so we sold it.
00:31:23Did you get anything for it?
00:31:25$1.40.
00:31:26That's my suit, all right.
00:31:27Say, it's lucky I left another shirt in this drawer.
00:31:35That can't be my shirt. My shirt doesn't snore.
00:31:37Shh. Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia. He's trying to sleep at all.
00:31:41That's as grizzly a looking object as I've ever seen.
00:31:44Well, get him up out of there.
00:31:47Certainly sleeping.
00:31:56Well, I wish you fellas had explained this thing to me.
00:31:58Well, it's very simple.
00:31:59You see, Riccardi's a lover of Rosa.
00:32:01Rosa, she go to New York.
00:32:02We want to go to New York, too, but we got no money, so we hide in the trunk.
00:32:06Well, if you've got no money, what are you going to do in New York?
00:32:07Well, I can sing. There must be some place for me to work.
00:32:10Besides, I can be near Rosa. That's the main thing.
00:32:12Oh, you won't give us away, will you, Mr. Driftwood?
00:32:14No, but you fellas have got to get out of here.
00:32:16I've got a date with a lady in a few minutes, and you know the old saying,
00:32:20two's company and five's a crowd.
00:32:21We go, but first we wanted something to eat.
00:32:23We don't eat all day. We're hungry.
00:32:25Well, we'll discuss the food situation later.
00:32:27We get food or we don't go.
00:32:29I know I never should have met you fellas.
00:32:32All right, but you've got to promise to scram out right after you've eaten her.
00:32:34All right.
00:32:35Now, I'll go and get the stewart.
00:32:36And you fellas be quiet. Remember, you're stowaways.
00:32:38All right.
00:32:38We no say or nothing.
00:32:39All right.
00:32:40Now, just put that bag of jello over here, huh?
00:32:45Wouldn't it be simpler if you just had him stuffed?
00:32:47He's no olive.
00:32:48Now, I'll go and get the stewart, then.
00:32:51Say, is this the door of the room or am I in the trunk?
00:32:53Oh, over here.
00:32:56Be quiet now.
00:32:57Don't make any noise.
00:32:59We no say nothing.
00:33:00Get the stewart.
00:33:03Stewart.
00:33:04Stewart.
00:33:06Stew.
00:33:06Yes, sir.
00:33:07I say, stew.
00:33:08Yes, sir.
00:33:08What have we got for dinner?
00:33:09Anything you like, sir.
00:33:10You might have some tomato juice, orange juice, grape juice, pineapple juice.
00:33:14Hey, turn off the juice before I get electrocuted.
00:33:16All right.
00:33:17Let me have one of each.
00:33:19And two fried eggs, two poached eggs, two scrambled eggs, and two medium boiled eggs.
00:33:24And two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:26And two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:29Make that three hard boiled eggs.
00:33:32And some roast beef.
00:33:34Rare, medium, well done, and overdone.
00:33:36And two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:38And two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:41Make that three hard boiled eggs.
00:33:44And eight pieces of French pastry.
00:33:46This two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:48And two hard boiled eggs.
00:33:51Make that three hard boiled eggs.
00:33:55And one duck egg.
00:33:58Have you got any stewed prunes?
00:33:59Yes, sir.
00:34:00Well, give them some black coffee.
00:34:01That'll sober them up.
00:34:03And two hard boiled eggs.
00:34:04And two hard boiled eggs.
00:34:12It's either foggy out or make that twelve more hard boiled eggs.
00:34:15Yes.
00:34:17And Stuart, rush that along.
00:34:19Because the faster it comes, the faster this conventional will be over.
00:34:21Yes, sir.
00:34:22Do they allow tipping on the boat?
00:34:23Oh, yes, sir.
00:34:24Have you got two fives?
00:34:25Yes, sir.
00:34:26Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.
00:34:28Well, that's fine.
00:34:31If that steward is deaf and dumb, he'll never know you're in here.
00:34:33Oh, sure.
00:34:34That's all right.
00:34:35Yes?
00:34:36We've come to make up your room.
00:34:38Are those my hard boiled eggs?
00:34:39I can't tell until they get in the room.
00:34:41Come on in, girls.
00:34:42And leave all hope behind.
00:34:44But you've got to work fast because you've got to get out in ten minutes.
00:34:47Hey, Tommaso.
00:34:48Wake up.
00:34:48They're going to fix the bed.
00:34:49Say, I'd like two pillows on that bed there, eh?
00:34:52All right.
00:34:53Bring me.
00:34:54Say, there's a slight misunderstanding here.
00:34:55I said the girls had to work fast, not your friend.
00:34:57He's still asleep.
00:34:59You know, he does better asleep than I do awake.
00:35:02Yeah, he always sleeps that way.
00:35:03Now he's half asleep.
00:35:05Yes, he's half asleep and half Nelson.
00:35:07All right, come on.
00:35:08Yes?
00:35:09I'm the engineer.
00:35:10Come on.
00:35:10Came to turn off the heat.
00:35:11Well, you can start right in on him.
00:35:14Wake up, Tommaso.
00:35:16Tommaso, we're going to eat soon.
00:35:18You know, if it wasn't for gut leave, I wouldn't have got this room.
00:35:21Just hold him there a second.
00:35:23Yes?
00:35:23Did you want a manicure?
00:35:24No, come on in.
00:35:25I hadn't planned on a manicure, but I think on a journey like this, you ought to have every convenience you can get.
00:35:34Hey, listen, I'm getting the manicure.
00:35:36Get out of here, will you?
00:35:38Did you want your nails long or short?
00:35:40You better make them short.
00:35:41It's getting kind of crowded in here.
00:35:44I don't know.
00:35:45This isn't the way I pictured an ocean voyage.
00:35:47I always visualized myself sitting in a steamer chair with a steward bringing me bouillon.
00:35:52Come on, Ricardo.
00:35:53You couldn't get any bouillon in here unless they brought it in through a keyhole.
00:35:59I'm the engineer's assistant.
00:36:01You know, I had a premonition you were going to show up.
00:36:04The engineer's right over there on the corner.
00:36:05You can chop your way right through.
00:36:09Hey, is it my imagination or is it getting crowded from here?
00:36:11Well, I've got plenty of room.
00:36:15Yes?
00:36:16Is my aunt Minnie in here?
00:36:18Well, you can come in and prowl around if you want her.
00:36:20If she isn't in here, you can probably find somebody just as good.
00:36:23Well, could I use your phone?
00:36:25Use the phone?
00:36:26I'll lay even money you can't get in the room.
00:36:28How do you do?
00:36:29This boat will be in New York before you can get to that phone.
00:36:33I seem to mop up.
00:36:35Just the woman I'm looking for.
00:36:36Come right ahead.
00:36:38You like to start on the ceiling.
00:36:39It's the only place that isn't being occupied.
00:36:41Here you can clean my shoes if you want me.
00:36:43I'll be right there.
00:36:44It's only a minute to send them a bigger room, too, will you?
00:36:49Stuart?
00:36:50Ah, come right ahead.
00:36:51Hey, come out, the food.
00:36:53We've been waiting all afternoon for you, Stuart.
00:36:54Food, food, food.
00:36:55Come on.
00:37:11Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I welcome you all on this, the final night of the voyage.
00:37:23I cannot let the evening pass without paying a little tribute to our distinguished guests of honor, the three greatest aviators in the world.
00:37:33Three greatest aviators, but you notice they're traveling by boat.
00:37:38We are honored by your presence, gentlemen.
00:37:43Thank you, gentlemen.
00:37:48Do you rumba?
00:37:49Why, yes, of course I do.
00:37:51Well, take a rumba from one to ten.
00:37:55Mr. Claypool went to his reward three years ago.
00:37:58And left you all alone.
00:38:01All alone?
00:38:02With eight million dollars.
00:38:05Eight million dollars.
00:38:06Listen, Godley, you're just wasting your time.
00:38:08If Mrs. Claypool wants to marry a fortune hunter, she's always got me.
00:38:11Fortune hunter?
00:38:12As a matter of fact, you can hardly call me a fortune hunter.
00:38:15Because when I first proposed to Mrs. Claypool, I thought she only had seven million.
00:38:18But the extra million is never in the pay with my feelings for her.
00:38:21If you had any real feeling for me, you'd stop associating with the kind of riffraff I've seen you going around with.
00:38:26You mean, Godley?
00:38:26I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with.
00:38:30I'm very grateful they're not on board the boat.
00:38:33Why, have they slipped off?
00:38:34Sit down.
00:38:43Hey, come on.
00:38:44We'll find something to eat.
00:38:45You think it's safe?
00:38:46You know, if they catch us, they'll deport us.
00:38:48What do we got to lose?
00:38:49If they deport us, they got to feed us.
00:38:50Come on, and we take a chance.
00:38:53Does it mean nothing to you that I'm the greatest singer in the world?
00:38:56But I love to hear you sing, Rodolfo.
00:38:58Oh, no, no, no.
00:39:00Let me put it this way.
00:39:02I love you.
00:39:03I adore you.
00:39:03I would die for you.
00:39:05Now do you understand?
00:39:07I'm afraid I don't.
00:39:09The whole thing is very simple.
00:39:10When he says he's the greatest singer in the world, that means he loves you.
00:39:13Personally, I don't believe either statement.
00:39:14Oh, shoo.
00:39:15There may be something in what you say.
00:39:18I'll tell you something confidentially.
00:39:21The only tenor I could ever stand was a fellow by the name of, uh, Riccardo Baroni.
00:39:25Ever hear of him?
00:39:27Riccardo.
00:39:28I wonder where he is right now.
00:39:31Probably roaming over the countryside someplace.
00:39:34Riccardo always loved the opening.
00:39:36He never could stand being cooped up.
00:39:39He still doesn't like it.
00:39:40Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia.
00:40:00Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:40:30Well, Tommaso, you feel better now, eh?
00:40:45And you, Riccardo?
00:40:46How do you feel?
00:40:47After a meal like that?
00:40:49Great.
00:40:49Well, I could sing my head off.
00:40:50Well, I had to sing it.
00:40:51Così, cosà, it's a wonderful work.
00:40:54La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:40:57Così, cosà, così, cosà, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:41:00La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:41:03Hey, stop, Dad.
00:41:04Get away from those instruments.
00:41:05What are you doing here?
00:41:06Please let them play.
00:41:07Let them play.
00:41:07Let them play.
00:41:10All right.
00:41:10I'll look at it.
00:41:11All right with you.
00:41:13Come on.
00:41:13Come on.
00:41:14Come on.
00:41:15There's an old Italian phrase
00:41:22It's an old Italian phrase
00:41:28Every little bambina says it the very first day
00:41:34Every sweet signorina says it the very same way
00:41:43These funny little words don't really mean a thing
00:41:46It's just a phrase that nowadays Italians love to sing
00:41:51Così, così, così
00:41:55It's a wonderful word, la-la-la-la
00:41:57If anyone asks you how you are, it's proper to say
00:42:00Così, così, così, così
00:42:05If a lady should ask you if you care, you don't have to start a love affair
00:42:09C'est così, così
00:42:10Does it mean yes, no?
00:42:14Does it mean no?
00:42:16Well, yes and no
00:42:19Così, così
00:42:24Get together and sing, la-la-la-la
00:42:25It's easy this way to start the day and last and sing
00:42:28Così, così
00:42:31Così, così
00:42:36It's a wonderful word, la-la-la-la
00:42:42If anyone asks you how you are, it's proper to say
00:42:45Così, così, così
00:42:46Così, così
00:42:47Così, così
00:43:17THE END
00:43:47THE END
00:44:17THE END
00:44:47THE END
00:45:17THE END
00:45:47THE END
00:46:17THE END
00:46:47THE END
00:46:49THE END
00:46:51THE END
00:46:53THE END
00:46:57THE END
00:47:03THE END
00:47:05THE END
00:47:11THE END
00:47:13THE END
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00:49:19THE END
00:49:51Those men, they can't be passengers on this boat.
00:50:15They must be storeways.
00:50:16Storeways?
00:50:17We'll soon find out.
00:50:21We'll soon find out.
00:50:51We'll soon find out.
00:51:21We'll soon find out.
00:51:22We'll soon find out.
00:51:23We'll soon find out.
00:51:24We'll soon find out.
00:51:26We'll soon find out.
00:51:27We'll soon find out.
00:51:28We'll soon find out.
00:51:30We'll soon find out.
00:51:31We'll soon find out.
00:51:32We'll soon find out.
00:51:33We'll soon find out.
00:51:34We'll soon find out.
00:51:35We'll soon find out.
00:51:36We'll soon find out.
00:51:37We'll soon find out.
00:51:38We'll soon find out.
00:51:39We'll soon find out.
00:51:40We'll soon find out.
00:51:41We'll soon find out.
00:51:42We'll soon find out.
00:51:43We'll soon find out.
00:51:44We'll soon find out.
00:51:45We'll soon find out.
00:51:46We'll soon find out.
00:51:47We'll soon find out.
00:51:48We'll soon find out.
00:51:49We'll soon find out.
00:51:50We'll soon find out.
00:51:51We'll soon find out.
00:52:04We'll soon find out.
00:52:06You're all right, but the boat's too far away.
00:52:25What's he doing now?
00:52:27I think he's hanging himself.
00:52:36I think he's hanging himself.
00:53:06He's playing.
00:53:09I think he has an amazing life and a great boy.
00:53:13He's going to run out of his way.
00:53:15He's going to run out of his way in the movie.
00:53:19We'd be getting her to go.
00:53:24The end of the movie is back, and makes a great day to go.
00:53:30I've got to go out of a movie.
00:53:33Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to...
00:53:37Quiet. Gentlemen, our distinguished guests have asked me to represent them and to whack as their interpreter.
00:53:41Now, if you'll all follow me, I'll take you to their cabin. And if they're still in it, very few of us will come out alive.
00:53:56Pardon me. Our distinguished guests are having their shredded wheat. They'll be right out.
00:54:03Gentlemen, kind friends. Here, give me that. Let's cut this short. The whole thing is very simple.
00:54:12They want you to go to the city hall and the mayor is going to make another speech.
00:54:15We can tear up the mayor's speech when we get there.
00:54:20And so, my friends, as mayor of this great city, I take pleasure in inviting our distinguished visitors to tell us something about their achievement.
00:54:33What'll I say?
00:54:35Tell them you're not here.
00:54:37Suppose they don't believe me.
00:54:38They'll believe you when you start talking.
00:54:44Friends!
00:54:45Talk fast. I see a man in the crowd with a rope.
00:54:48How we happen to come to America is a great story, but I don't tell that.
00:54:52When we first started out, we got an OID. You give us this grand reception.
00:54:57We don't deserve it.
00:54:58And when I say we don't deserve it, believe me, I know what I'm talking about.
00:55:02That's a novelty.
00:55:05So now I'll tell you how we fly to America.
00:55:07The first time we started, we get halfway across when we run out of gasoline, and we got to go back.
00:55:11Then I take twice as much gasoline.
00:55:13This time, we were just about to land, maybe three feet.
00:55:16Well, what do you think? We run out of gasoline again.
00:55:18And back, we go again and get more gas.
00:55:21This time, I take plenty gas.
00:55:23Well, we get halfway over, when what do you think will happen?
00:55:28We forgot of the airplane.
00:55:29So, we got to sit down and we talk it over.
00:55:32Then I get a great idea.
00:55:33We not take a gasoline.
00:55:35We not take the airplane.
00:55:37We take a steamship.
00:55:39And that, friends, is how we fly across the ocean.
00:55:45I'm going out and arrange your bail.
00:55:47This is the mayor again.
00:55:48And now, I take great pleasure in introducing another of our heroes, who will tell you something of his exploits.
00:55:57Of course.
00:55:59From now on, it's every man for himself.
00:56:01I would suggest you make your speech a little more direct than your brother's.
00:56:08What will you give me to set fire to your beard?
00:56:18Well, we're all right as long as the water supply holds up.
00:56:42Please, the radio, your speech.
00:56:55You know, they may have to build a dam in back of him.
00:57:12Hey, I treat these fellas as thawnees.
00:57:14What's that you say?
00:57:15You heard me.
00:57:18You hear what they say?
00:57:23They say they've never been so insulted in their life and they absolutely refuse to stay here.
00:57:27No, no.
00:57:27Please.
00:57:28He didn't mean it.
00:57:29Tell them he didn't mean it.
00:57:34Of course, you know this means war.
00:57:38I'll see what you've done.
00:57:42I'm sorry.
00:57:43I'm awful sorry.
00:57:46I apologize and I hope you're not offended.
00:57:48But I will still remember the heart of you.
00:57:54What are you singing about?
00:58:08Read this.
00:58:09What are you going to do?
00:58:09You?
00:58:10The first thing I'm going to do is throw those two gorillas out of here.
00:58:12And that goes for you, too.
00:58:13I'm sorry.
00:58:14I'm sorry.
00:58:15I'm sorry.
00:58:16I'm sorry.
00:58:17You, too.
00:58:18I thought I'd get rid of those mugs when I saw my trunk.
00:58:25Kitties!
00:58:26Come on.
00:58:27Everything is piping hot.
00:58:28Breakfast.
00:58:28Breakfast.
00:58:29Breakfast.
00:58:30Good morning.
00:58:31Oh, boy.
00:58:32I'm hungry.
00:58:33Read that.
00:58:34That'll take away your appetite.
00:58:36No.
00:58:37That only makes me hungrier.
00:58:38Come on.
00:58:39You're going to be late for jail.
00:58:44Well, it certainly went like hotcakes.
00:58:47You know, this isn't the way I anticipated my breakfast.
00:58:50I'm certainly getting enough of you fellas.
00:58:53I ain't no like of cupcakes.
00:58:55No.
00:58:56Why not when I've had enough?
00:58:57Say, wait a minute.
00:58:58Wait a minute.
00:58:59That was a two-bit cigar.
00:59:00I just...
00:59:01No.
00:59:02Bad enough have to smoke those things without eating them.
00:59:03No.
00:59:04Bad enough have to smoke those things without eating them.
00:59:05Oh.
00:59:06Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:59:08Get out.
00:59:09Ha, ha, ha!
00:59:10Ha, ha, ha!
00:59:11I'm glad I didn't bring my vest.
00:59:13I forgot to tell you.
00:59:14He ate your vest last night for dessert.
00:59:15Yeah.
00:59:16He's half goat.
00:59:17Yes, and that's giving him all the best of it.
00:59:25Oh, I had another cigar on me.
00:59:27He's going to smell like a vegetable salad when he gets through with that.
00:59:35You know, I've been looking forward to this breakfast.
00:59:38I've been waiting all morning.
00:59:39This is how it wound up.
00:59:50Well, I'll take a quart and a pint.
00:59:52A little of that, anyway.
00:59:53Why don't you fellas be nice?
00:59:54Get out of here before I get arrested.
00:59:55No, I'd like to stay and see that.
00:59:56What's that?
00:59:57If it's a policeman, knock once more.
00:59:58That's good enough for me.
00:59:59Get out.
01:00:00Get out.
01:00:01Get out.
01:00:02Come in.
01:00:03Come in.
01:00:04Come in.
01:00:09Come in.
01:00:14Come in.
01:00:15Come in.
01:00:17Come in.
01:00:18Come in.
01:00:19Come in.
01:00:20Come in.
01:00:21Come in.
01:00:22Come in.
01:00:23Come in.
01:00:24Come in.
01:00:25Come in.
01:00:26Come in.
01:00:29Yes?
01:00:29You remember me.
01:00:31I'm Henderson.
01:00:32Plain clothes man.
01:00:33You look more like an old clothes man than me.
01:00:37Nice place.
01:00:38Well, it's comfortable.
01:00:41You live here all alone?
01:00:43Yes.
01:00:43Just me and my memories.
01:00:45I'm practically a hermit.
01:00:46Oh, a hermit.
01:00:48I noticed the table's set for four.
01:00:51That's nothing.
01:00:51My alarm clock is set for 8.
01:00:53That doesn't prove a thing.
01:00:55A wise guy.
01:00:57Well, I'll take a little look around.
01:01:03Look out.
01:01:05Hey, you!
01:01:06Coming!
01:01:08What's a hermit doing with four beds?
01:01:11Well, you see those first three beds?
01:01:12Yes.
01:01:13Last night I counted 5,000 sheep in those three beds.
01:01:15So I had to have another bed to sleep in.
01:01:17You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
01:01:18Ah!
01:01:21Let's go.
01:01:25Henderson, man.
01:01:26Hey, you!
01:01:28Who are you talking to?
01:01:29I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it.
01:01:31I've had three of the best doctors in the East.
01:01:33Well, I certainly heard somebody say something.
01:01:35Oh, it's sheer folly on your part.
01:01:36What's this?
01:01:37Why, that's a fire escape.
01:01:39And that's a table, and this is a room.
01:01:41And there's the door leading out, and I wish you'd use it.
01:01:43I wanted to be alone.
01:01:45You'll be alone when I throw you in jail.
01:01:47Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?
01:01:51Look out.
01:01:51He's coming around the other way.
01:01:53Get inside, quick.
01:01:54If he's catching...
01:01:55Now, believe me, you mean to stretch out the big house if he's catching you in here.
01:01:58Don't let him catch you in here.
01:01:59Hey, you!
01:01:59Coming!
01:02:01What became of that fourth bed?
01:02:02What are you referring to, Colonel?
01:02:04The last time I was in this room, there were four beds here.
01:02:07Please.
01:02:08I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.
01:02:09Oh!
01:02:13Say!
01:02:15What's that bed doing here?
01:02:16I don't see it doing anything.
01:02:18There's something funny going on around here.
01:02:20Not around here.
01:02:21But I'll get to the bottom of it.
01:02:22There's, right there.
01:02:23Look out!
01:02:24Look out!
01:02:27I'll be on your guard, whatever you want.
01:02:28Hey, you!
01:02:29Coming!
01:02:30Am I crazy, or are there only two beds here?
01:02:33Now, which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?
01:02:35Say, how, how did those two beds get together?
01:02:43Well, you know how those things are.
01:02:45They breed like rabbits.
01:02:46Let me tell you something.
01:02:48I'll solve this if I have to stay here all night.
01:02:50Let me tell you something.
01:02:51If you're going to stay here all night, you'll have to bring them to bed.
01:02:53One bed!
01:02:54One bed?
01:02:55What are you talking about?
01:02:56Oh, they're all gone.
01:03:04I know I'm crazy.
01:03:05Oh, I beg your pardon.
01:03:26I must be in the wrong room.
01:03:32I know
01:03:33As long as I find you
01:03:41Ricardo!
01:03:42In every dream
01:03:44Oh, you thought you could come to America without me, huh?
01:03:48Oh, you fool.
01:03:49You dear, dear fool.
01:03:51Because I'm in love with you, you call me a fool.
01:03:53Well, there may be something in that.
01:03:55But what are you doing here?
01:03:56Easiest thing in the world, an open window, a detective, and here I am.
01:03:59Oh, Ricardo, you shouldn't have.
01:04:01They'll, they'll only send you back again, perhaps even put you in jail.
01:04:05Oh, I don't care, darling.
01:04:07It's worth it.
01:04:07Suppose, suppose I go to Mr. Gottlieb.
01:04:10Maybe he'd intercede for you.
01:04:11Oh, Gottlieb couldn't know anything.
01:04:12Besides, Laspari's got to him first.
01:04:14But there must be something we can do.
01:04:17Who is it?
01:04:18It is I.
01:04:19Okay, Rodolfo.
01:04:28Um, come in.
01:04:32Do you mind my dropping down?
01:04:33No.
01:04:34No, of course not.
01:04:35Only, um, I was just going to take a nap.
01:04:38Rosa, why do you do this to me?
01:04:40Do what, Rodolfo?
01:04:41Whenever I want to see you, you make some excuse.
01:04:43You will not dine with me.
01:04:44You will not ride with me.
01:04:45You won't even take a walk with me.
01:04:46But, Rodolfo, you, you know how busy I am.
01:04:50My debut in America.
01:04:52Well, have you forgotten that it was I who brought about your debut in America?
01:04:57No, no, I haven't forgotten.
01:05:00Then why do you treat me this way?
01:05:02Rodolfo, I must ask you to leave.
01:05:05Oh, come now, my dear.
01:05:06Be sensible.
01:05:08If you ask me, I think she's being very sensible.
01:05:12Barroni.
01:05:13Well, now I understand.
01:05:16You did not tell me you had a previous engagement.
01:05:19Well, now you know it.
01:05:21And I apologize.
01:05:22And now, permit me to withdraw.
01:05:25In a boudoir, two are company.
01:05:26Three, a crowd.
01:05:28Just what do you mean by that?
01:05:29Please, Ricardo.
01:05:30Surely I have made my meaning clear.
01:05:32Ricardo!
01:05:35You have not heard the end of this.
01:05:37I'm sure I haven't.
01:05:38You may be very sure.
01:05:39Good afternoon, Mr. Drickwood.
01:05:46Afternoon, Tim.
01:05:47Ready for the opening tonight?
01:05:48Am I.
01:05:54That's all right, boys.
01:05:55I was young myself once.
01:05:57Good night.
01:05:57How are all my songbites?
01:06:03Good night.
01:06:04Good night.
01:06:04Good night.
01:06:05Sing well tonight now.
01:06:06Barroni.
01:06:08Barroni.
01:06:10Waiting for you, Mr. Driftwood.
01:06:11Step right in.
01:06:12Thank you, Otto.
01:06:13Nice day to be, isn't it?
01:06:14Oh, it has its points.
01:06:18Here you are, sir.
01:06:19Thank you, Otto.
01:06:20That's all right, Mr. Driftwood.
01:06:22What's all this?
01:06:23What's going on here?
01:06:25You mean what's coming off here?
01:06:27You can't do that.
01:06:29Want to bet?
01:06:30But that's my office.
01:06:32I'm taking orders for Mr. Gottlieb.
01:06:33Go see him about it.
01:06:34I'll go see Mr. Gottlieb, and I'll break you, my pint fellow.
01:06:38Go see Mr. Gottlieb.
01:06:41What's the meaning of this?
01:06:42If you think that I'm going to, uh...
01:06:45Well, if you're busy, I'll return later.
01:06:47Just a minute, Mr. Driftwood.
01:06:49We have some news for you.
01:06:51News for me?
01:06:52Mrs. Claypool has decided to dispense with your services immediately.
01:06:56Dispense with my services?
01:06:57Why, she hasn't even had them.
01:06:58I warned you, Mr. Driftwood, if you continue to associate with those men, everything would
01:07:03be over between us.
01:07:04And you've been associating with them?
01:07:06How do you know?
01:07:06You couldn't find them.
01:07:08You've disgraced me and the entire opera company.
01:07:11So as Mrs. Claypool's new business manager, I must request you to get out and stay out.
01:07:15Just a minute, just a minute.
01:07:16You can't find me without two weeks' salary.
01:07:18That's in section 10A of my contract.
01:07:20I find that you have overdrawn your salary for the next six months.
01:07:24Well, in that case, I'll take one week's salary.
01:07:26You take nothing.
01:07:27Get out.
01:07:29Well, if that's your best offer, I'll get out.
01:07:30But I'm not making a nickel on it.
01:07:32And as for you, Mrs. Claypool, I withdraw my offer of marriage.
01:07:37And that goes for you, too.
01:07:41Thanks, I get for working my fingers to the bone.
01:07:43All right, Otto.
01:07:44Just a minute.
01:07:47This car is for officials.
01:07:48Take the stairs.
01:07:50The stairs?
01:07:51Yeah.
01:07:53Well, that's four flights.
01:07:54I can't walk all that distance.
01:07:56All right, I'll help you.
01:07:57All right.
01:08:14Now there's room.
01:08:23Well, that's all I needed.
01:08:25I'm certainly glad I met you, boys.
01:08:27First you get me kicked out of my job, then you get me thrown out of my hotel,
01:08:30and finally you push me off a park bench.
01:08:32Well, there's one consolation.
01:08:34Nothing more can happen to me.
01:08:36Hey, get off of the grass.
01:08:38Well, I was wrong.
01:08:46People drink too much water, anyhow.
01:08:48I'm certainly glad you came along.
01:08:50The day you boys came into my life, I had a good job and was about to marry a rich widow.
01:08:54Now I can't even sit on the grass.
01:08:56I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting here.
01:08:59Well, that's an offer.
01:09:00I'll tell you, I'd like to think it over for a couple of days.
01:09:02Where can I find you?
01:09:04Don't worry.
01:09:04Wherever you are, you'll find us.
01:09:06No, I'm sick of that.
01:09:07Let's meet somewhere else.
01:09:11It's Rosa!
01:09:13Rosa!
01:09:14Well, at least I can get my bench back.
01:09:17Don't feel so badly, Ricardo.
01:09:19Well, I can't feel very cheerful about being such a hoodoo to you.
01:09:23We all are making things bad for you.
01:09:31What's the matter?
01:09:32Hey, what do you think, yeah?
01:09:34Laspari.
01:09:35He's got a rose of fire.
01:09:36Laspari?
01:09:37Yes, he won't let us sing tonight.
01:09:38Well, what do you know about that?
01:09:40Well, we've still got all day to think of some plan.
01:09:42And believe me, the way I think, I think it's going to take all day.
01:09:55Good evening, Ken.
01:09:55Good evening, Mr. Gottlieb.
01:09:56Plenty for you tonight.
01:09:58You're welcome, sir.
01:10:16What does this mean?
01:10:18Ah, just a man I want to see.
01:10:20Gottlieb, these are the worst cigars I ever smoked.
01:10:23Yes, and your ice isn't cold enough either.
01:10:25Get out of here, all of you.
01:10:27I shall send for the police.
01:10:29Just a minute, Gottlieb.
01:10:30I'll tell you what we came here for.
01:10:32Yeah, we make you a proposition.
01:10:34Oh, so you're willing to give yourselves up, are you?
01:10:37Yes, if you let the Rosa sing.
01:10:39Well, I'm managing director, and Rosa does not sing.
01:10:41But the rest of your proposition, giving yourselves up,
01:10:45that rather appeals to me.
01:10:49Give me police headquarters.
01:10:51Sargent Henderson, please.
01:11:15Hello, Toots.
01:11:16Well, what are you doing here?
01:11:17This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.
01:11:18He couldn't come, so he gave me his ticket.
01:11:19And he couldn't get dressed, so he gave me his clothes.
01:11:20What?
01:11:21Hey!
01:11:22Hey!
01:11:23Hey, Shorty, will you toss up that Kelly?
01:11:25Attaboy.
01:11:26Here, here.
01:11:27Get yourself a stove.
01:11:28Well, who's ahead?
01:11:29Open the door!
01:11:31Get me police headquarters.
01:11:32Mrs. Claypool.
01:11:33Yes?
01:11:34Have you seen Mr. Gottlieb?
01:11:35Why, no.
01:11:36Isn't he backstage?
01:11:37He's disappeared.
01:11:38We can't find him anywhere.
01:11:39You didn't look in the right place.
01:11:40But the speech used to make a speech.
01:11:41I don't know.
01:11:42I don't know.
01:11:43I don't know.
01:11:44I don't know.
01:11:45I don't know.
01:11:46I don't know.
01:11:47I don't know.
01:11:48I don't know.
01:11:49I don't know.
01:11:50I don't know.
01:11:51I don't know.
01:11:52I don't know.
01:11:53But the speech used to make a speech before the curtain went up.
01:11:54Oh, dear.
01:11:55What?
01:11:56That's the cue.
01:11:57Now, you'd better say something.
01:11:58But I never made a speech in my life.
01:11:59All right.
01:12:00I'll take care of it.
01:12:01You?
01:12:02Uh, ladies and gentlemen.
01:12:04I guess that takes in most of you.
01:12:06This is the opening of a new opera season.
01:12:08A season may be the best for you.
01:12:09I don't know.
01:12:10I don't know.
01:12:11I don't know.
01:12:12I don't know.
01:12:13I don't know.
01:12:14I don't know.
01:12:15I don't know.
01:12:16I don't know.
01:12:17I don't know.
01:12:18I don't know.
01:12:19I don't know.
01:12:20I don't know.
01:12:21I don't know.
01:12:22A season made possible by the generous checks of Mrs. Claypool.
01:12:32I am sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight.
01:12:36And Mrs. Claypool's checks will probably come back in the morning.
01:12:41Tonight marks the American debut of Rodolfo Lasfari.
01:12:47Senior Lasfari comes from a very famous family.
01:12:50His mother was a well-known bass singer.
01:12:52And his father was the first man to stuff spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda.
01:12:55Thus causing and curing indigestion at the same time.
01:12:59And now, onward the opera.
01:13:00Let joy be unconfined.
01:13:01Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
01:13:06Play, Don.
01:13:07I'll take this side.
01:13:08None of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra.
01:13:14I'll take this side.
01:13:15None of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra.
01:13:21Don't give up, boys.
01:13:22Don't give up, boys.
01:13:23They're coming.
01:13:24I'll take this side.
01:13:25None of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra.
01:13:28Don't give up, boys.
01:13:29The cavalry is coming.
01:13:30Mr. Goodsey.
01:13:31I'll see you later.
01:13:32What are you doing?
01:13:33Don't give up, boys.
01:13:34The cavalry is coming.
01:13:36Mr. Goodsey.
01:13:39See you later.
01:13:47What are you doing?
01:13:55Sorry.
01:13:56Yes, Mr. Goodsey.
01:13:58I'll see you later.
01:13:59It's all right, it's just the Tarzan and me.
01:14:05A swinehund.
01:14:29A swinehund.
01:14:59That's진 thank you so much for having me dance here.
01:15:13Oh my god, let'snh.
01:15:16Be it.
01:15:20Oh right, what do you think?
01:15:22Peanuts.
01:15:23Kid's nodding.
01:15:25I cannot.
01:15:26Peanut?
01:15:27Ah, there you are, you...
01:15:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
01:15:40Are you laughing?
01:15:41Those clothes don't fit you.
01:15:42Oh, you...
01:15:47Hey, you're getting to be a good shot, Tommaso.
01:15:50The opera starts.
01:15:51Now we really go to work.
01:15:57The curtain's up.
01:16:03They've started.
01:16:04Now, don't worry.
01:16:05Come on, open the door here!
01:16:08Let me out of here!
01:16:11Here, Gottlieb!
01:16:12Where are you?
01:16:13Where did they...
01:16:14Oh, what?
01:16:15What?
01:16:16Gaspy!
01:16:20Did a couple of men come up here?
01:16:22What?
01:16:23What?
01:16:24All I get is what?
01:16:25What?
01:16:35Boogie, boogie, boogie!
01:16:38How would you like to feel the way she looks?
01:16:41That is Driftwood's voice!
01:16:43I want him put out of the upper house!
01:16:45Yes!
01:17:02That's right.
01:17:03You go talk to him.
01:17:04We know he's in the audience some place.
01:17:11Where's Mr. Gottlieb?
01:17:12The other side of the stage.
01:17:13Come on, boys.
01:17:14What was that?
01:17:15High C or vitamin D?
01:17:17Get out of here.
01:17:18Get out of here.
01:17:19Come on.
01:17:20Let's go.
01:17:24Get out of here.
01:17:25Come on, boys.
01:17:27Come on.
01:17:29Come on, boys.
01:17:32Go!
01:17:33What are you doing?
01:17:34Come on!
01:17:36Come on!
01:17:38Don't you do it!
01:17:39Come on!
01:17:40Come on!
01:17:41Come on!
01:17:42Come on!
01:17:43What's the matter? What happened here?
01:17:46Mr. Gottlieb, here, give me a hand.
01:17:58What's the matter? What happened here?
01:18:01Mr. Gottlieb, here, give me a hand.
01:18:13Where are those men? Did you catch them?
01:18:25No, sir, I'm sorry. They're still out there.
01:18:27Still out there?
01:18:30I have an idea. Get me two gypsy costumes at once.
01:18:43Now we're getting somewheres.
01:18:59I will not see unless they are put out there.
01:19:01Yes, sir.
01:19:13Did you catch them?
01:19:15Did you catch them?
01:19:18Did you catch them?
01:19:22Can you catch them?
01:19:23I don't see them.
01:19:24I haven't seen them.
01:19:25I don't know.
01:19:32I don't know.
01:19:35I don't know what now
01:19:39I don't know.
01:19:41Here we go.
01:20:11Here we go.
01:20:41Here we go.
01:21:11Here we go.
01:21:41Here we go.
01:22:11Here we go.
01:22:13Here we go.
01:22:15Here we go.
01:22:17Here we go.
01:22:18Here we go.
01:22:19Here we go.
01:22:20Here we go.
01:22:21Here we go.
01:22:22Here we go.
01:22:23Here we go.
01:22:24Here we go.
01:22:25Here we go.
01:22:26Here we go.
01:22:27Here we go.
01:22:28Here we go.
01:22:29Here we go.
01:22:30Here we go.
01:22:31Here we go.
01:22:32Here we go.
01:22:33Here we go.
01:22:34Here we go.
01:22:35Here we go.
01:22:36Here we go.
01:22:37Here we go.
01:22:38Here we go.
01:22:39Here we go.
01:22:40Here we go.
01:22:41That's it exactly.
01:22:44All right, get them two costumes at once, quick.
01:22:47Please, please, after the opera.
01:22:50Please go ahead and get ready.
01:23:11Hey, you hear that?
01:23:37That's real singing.
01:23:39Well, how can you hear?
01:23:45Do not miss you.
01:23:50Do not miss you.
01:23:55Leonardo, oh God.
01:23:59Leonardo, oh God.
01:24:05Oh
01:24:11Oh
01:24:15Oh
01:24:17Oh
01:24:19Oh
01:24:25Oh
01:24:27Oh
01:24:29Oh
01:24:35Oh
01:24:37Oh
01:24:43Oh
01:24:45Oh
01:24:47Oh
01:24:49Oh
01:24:53Oh
01:24:55Oh
01:24:59Oh
01:25:05So, is this the opera house?
01:25:19I'll arrest those men, and this man too.
01:25:21Well, it's about time.
01:25:22The sparring, where have you been?
01:25:25Been? Do you know what they did to me?
01:25:29I'll sing them an encore that they'll never forget.
01:25:35Never in my life have I received such treatment.
01:25:44They threw an apple at me.
01:25:45Well, watermelons are out of season.
01:25:52Get out there, quick.
01:25:54Oh, no. I'm under arrest, Mr. Gottlieb.
01:25:56What's that?
01:25:57Well, if they're arrested, I ought to be too.
01:25:59I can't sing if I'm arrested.
01:26:01Oh, you, you.
01:26:05What do we do?
01:26:06We must have them.
01:26:07They'll save the entire season.
01:26:08Well, what they said you want.
01:26:10Well, I...
01:26:11Just a minute. Let me handle this.
01:26:12All right, only quick, quick.
01:26:13What do you want?
01:26:14Price, call up that police dog.
01:26:15Huh?
01:26:16All right, anything, anything.
01:26:18Just a minute.
01:26:18These men are in this country under false pretenses,
01:26:20and I'm going to do my duty.
01:26:21I'll be responsible for them.
01:26:24Besides, they came over here with Mr. Driftwood.
01:26:26And Mr. Driftwood is an employee of the opera company.
01:26:29Since when?
01:26:30Since Barone started singing.
01:26:31And when will I get a hold of the guy that runs that elevator?
01:26:33All right, anything.
01:26:35Please, go out and sing.
01:26:36Please.
01:26:37Wait a minute.
01:26:38Wait a minute.
01:26:38Before he sings, you've got to sign a contract,
01:26:40and I get 10%.
01:26:41Yes, and I get 10% too.
01:26:43The party of the 11th part, you've got to sign a contract.
01:26:58Now, where won't we?
01:26:59The party of the 10th part, you mean?
01:27:01No, no.
01:27:02The party of the 11th part, you've got to sign a contract.
01:27:04Oh, no.
01:27:10Oh, no.
01:27:12THE END
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