- yesterday
Category
đ„
Short filmTranscript
00:00You know, looking back at 2013, it really seems like that's when everything cool was happening.
00:05We had such iconic things like Iron Man 3,
00:08What kind of crappy suit is this?
00:09GTA 5, and how could I forget the Smurfs 2?
00:132013?
00:15But that's when DreamWorks was really in a creative boom.
00:18They would release banger after banger after this thing,
00:21and yet so many of them would flop at the box office,
00:24almost sending them into complete bankruptcy.
00:26However, there was a film that was a critical, financial, and historical success.
00:30It was Grug. It was the movie with Grug in it.
00:32He's loose!
00:35Food.
00:36Release the Croods!
00:39The Croods has really stood the test of time and become one of the most iconic films in their entire legacy.
00:44But how much of that was genuine, and how much of it was people who thought Thunk looked funny?
00:51Will the Croods be remembered for the next hundred years,
00:53or are we just stuck with Trolls' Boss Baby garbage forever?
00:56This one's been a long time coming.
00:58Here's my look at the Croods.
01:00However, before we get into it,
01:02I'd like to take a minute to talk about today's sponsor, Fume.
01:04Which is a habit-breaking alternative to your icky old vapes that nobody ever likes,
01:08and it's at the forefront to the modern switch to flavored air as opposed to harmful nicotine.
01:12As well, it's designed to cut back on addictive habits and help you in a way that doesn't feel intrusive.
01:16Since all Fume is is a tool that allows you to flavor the air you take in,
01:19by simply inserting these cores and now you're breathing in iconic flavored air,
01:23with absolutely no vapor or smoke required whatsoever.
01:26Unlike the smoke-infested houses of the cringe vaping nation,
01:29I'm personally a fan of the crisp mint flavor because I've always liked the mint stuff,
01:32and it always just gives me good vibes.
01:33Plus, this thing doubles as a cool little fidget tool.
01:35Like, you can just make all kinds of sounds and little movements with this thing,
01:38and it's just very fun to mess around with.
01:39Plus, Fume has invested heavily into third-party studies and looks into safety,
01:43with rousing results and backing from doctors in the U.S.
01:45And over 500,000 people have made the switch, and today could be your day.
01:49And as of right now, if you order the Journey Pack using my code Bulbasquirtle,
01:52you'll get a free Fume topper.
01:53So if you've been thinking about changing your habits, this is the perfect first step.
01:56Go to tryfume.com slash Bulbasquirtle or scan the QR code on screen to grab yours today.
02:00Thanks again to Fume for sponsoring, and let's get back into thunkin' gruggin' eepin' ugga.
02:04So our film starts out with the Universal logo where Super Nintendo World is.
02:08It's-a me, a Mario.
02:09Now we're in Disney World with the pedals from Coco, I think.
02:12I hope you die very soon.
02:13And we're showing some cave drawings that explain the history of our crude family.
02:17And I really like how Grug looks here.
02:20Bro hasn't even shown up in the flesh, and he's already making me smile.
02:24But we're told they sit in their stinky cave all day because they suck at finding food and drugs over-
02:28It-it caught-it auto-corrected Grug to drugs.
02:31And we're told that they did have neighbors at one point,
02:33but they all died due to, like, Ligma and, like, Sugma and AIDS.
02:37But the crude survived because they followed the rules,
02:39and they only stayed afloat because they fear anything new and innovative like the Pokemon company.
02:43I want a divorce.
02:47What?
02:47They got you!
02:48But then we get the introduction of Hollywood's most iconic,
02:52most beautiful man that has ever graced the Earth.
02:55That, of course, being Grug voiced by Nicolas Cage of Spider-Man Noir in, like, uh, uh,
03:00the movie with the meme of Pedro Pascal.
03:03FAN-TASTIC!
03:04FAN!
03:07Oh, yeah, Willy's Wonderland.
03:08Also, Willy's Wonderland.
03:09But then slowly and surely, the rest of our iconic family guys make it out into the sunlight.
03:12However, our man Thunk refuses to come out because he plays by the rules,
03:16and he demands to hear the signal from Grug to make sure that he's not an imposter.
03:19Hoo-hoo!
03:21Hoo-hoo!
03:22Ain't she gonna show me her hoo-hoos?
03:24Hoo-ah!
03:24And then Thunk comes out and makes Grug die again.
03:27Though he is happy to hear that his mother-in-law is finally...
03:30STILL ALIVE!
03:31But then we get the most hardest action scene of ever, all times,
03:34as Grug wants to see some real caveman action as we get our epic title.
03:39And then we get this beautiful shot, which gets funnier every single time I watch it.
03:43Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:44Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:45And our team looks out at their current objective, which is breakfast,
03:48since, you know, it rhymes with Grug.
03:50As Grug annihilates the elderly in order to tell Thunk that he's in,
03:53and as he runs over and grabs the Hatchimal with ease,
03:56he gets knocked out, so they call in the big guns.
03:58Release the baby!
04:00Let's go!
04:01And as Pecan Sandy is chasing down the big-looking ostrich thing,
04:04these two little glup-shittos decide to mess everything up.
04:07Also, these things-
04:07Like, the existence as one of these things would be like,
04:10hell, Jesus Christ.
04:11Here comes Ben-mas.
04:12Here comes Ben-mas.
04:13But when the old lady's down, she calls in Eep for support.
04:16And as she gets attacked, she's gotta yeet the egg over to her old man.
04:19And now, like, 27 people are after this damn egg.
04:22Man, these egg prices are getting out of control!
04:24But then they awaken this big, giant, magical beast thing about to gobble them all up.
04:28And the gang all hop onto this giant, like, leopard-elephant-looking thing,
04:32as they all have to destroy their ankles in order to bring it to a screeching halt,
04:35eventually reaching the entrance to their iconic cave as they all go flying into the air.
04:39And Grug comes crashing down back to Earth with successful food in heist hands.
04:43However, after all that, he gives it to Thunk,
04:45and this f***ing idiot just breaks the damn thing!
04:47I'm so mad.
04:49Papa got a brand new band.
04:50And this means they've all gotta suck up the egg's contents one by one.
04:54And as they all leak, they realize they've only got a single little drop for the big man.
04:58Oh, that's alright. I-I ate last week.
05:00But then Grug realizes that the sun's about to go down,
05:03so they've all gotta rush back to their cave for protection.
05:05However, Ugga starts beating a family senseless
05:07because they weren't holding a place in line to pre-order the Switch 2 at Walmart.
05:11But meanwhile, outside, Eep just, like, climbs the whole goddamn thing vertically like a goat.
05:15These climbing skills would have been useful earlier, Emma Stone.
05:18But she gets all sad because the sun goes down,
05:24and she doesn't know if it's gonna come back tomorrow.
05:26We on that North Sentinelese mindset grind.
05:29I'm never gonna forget when I found this exact image,
05:32and I started losing my mind because I realized that the North Sentinelese
05:35paint themselves to look exactly like the Far From Home upgraded suit.
05:38Guys, million dollar idea.
05:39We live stream going over to North Sentinel Island,
05:42and we set up a big drone show of Galactus,
05:45and we make them think that Galactus is gonna destroy the world in real life.
05:48And he's yelling for Eep to get down,
05:55but no scopes the thing right in the goddamn eyeball, Jesus Christ,
05:58and just barely gets Eep indoors before they get turned into Scooby Snacks,
06:02and then yells at her and tells her to never not be afraid of everything,
06:05and she's giving him the silent treatment as Grug takes it all out on Ugga,
06:07and she says, hey, Grug, why don't you tell us all a story?
06:10So Grug grabs his little bear doll with a slender tubby's face on it,
06:13and starts telling a story of how Mr. Bear was always playing by the rules,
06:17and he was careful, and most importantly, he was afraid of everything.
06:20However, one day, he got curious like my homie George,
06:23and because of that, he died, fighting Spider-Man.
06:26How you like the new new?
06:27I wanna party, I wanna song.
06:30Having less of fun.
06:32Please take care, cause...
06:33And as Grug's Twitter circle gets into a cuddle puddle,
06:37Eep is still being a bitch and won't get down from her stinky ledge,
06:40so Grug just falls to sleep like a sad little boy.
06:43But meanwhile, cut to the dead of night where the wild thing's Pop Mart looking thing
06:46is just like standing outside their cave.
06:48These like, these LaBooBoo Pop Mart things.
06:51LaBooBoo sounds like a, like a fake thing from like a cartoon to parody stuff like this.
06:55That sounds like it's from Phineas and Ferb.
06:58Dude, fuck this.
06:59Get the Teletubbies blind boxes instead.
07:01That look good.
07:01But there's this magical orange glowing light awakening the Eepster,
07:04and she looks outside to see it all engulfing her cave,
07:07confusing the hell out of her as she tries to locate it within Thunk,
07:10but she sees it all coming from the outside,
07:12so against her Grug's best wishes, she heads on out.
07:14And as she parkours her way through the cavern like Sonic Lost World,
07:17she's able to locate the magic deathlight in this big shadow of a cave person thing on the cave walls and shit,
07:23climbing up everything and seeing these little tiny sparks and little lights everywhere that are magical,
07:27but look out because live-action Seth Rogen's right behind you, isn't he?
07:31But she catches on and performs an RKO to ensure survival,
07:33and as she's about ready to cut a bitch, she sees it's got hands,
07:36and as it takes off its mask, it's revealed to be Ryan Reynolds.
07:43And as the two squabbles, she realizes it can speak unless Hugh Jackman's yelling at it.
07:46And me, the coolest Smurf in the whole village.
07:49And she starts sniffing and poking at him out of curiosity until she sees Belt, iconic character.
07:54Learn about Belt so you know about the DVD combo pack, people.
07:57Also, he gets to bite Eep's toes.
07:59It should have been me!
07:59And our two dum-dum pops are squabbling over the right to yield the flame,
08:02but eventually, Eep caves and lets him tend to the fire because it's gonna die.
08:05And she's like, you make this, you make more, make more for me!
08:08Well, I'd rather keep it a secret.
08:10I'll kill you!
08:10And as our man's dying, Belt's gotta do some CPR,
08:13but our man finally introduces himself as Guy.
08:15I'm not your guy, buddy!
08:16He's not your buddy, friend!
08:18I'm not your friend, Guy!
08:20But as he tells Eep that the entire world's about to end and the darkest days draw near,
08:23I'm calling it, the end.
08:26Duh-duh.
08:26I'm here, reaching far across these new frontiers!
08:33Also, I just want to point out, this scene has like that iconic 2010's Dreamworks,
08:37like, harsh orange lighting scenes that I'm the only one who ever notices, that's all.
08:41I don't mean to sound too dramatic, but-
08:42And then SpongeGuard tries to get Eep to come with him,
08:44she says that she can't, so he gives her a magic conch in order to call him if they both survive,
08:48and as he leaves, Eep backs into the man himself,
08:50and then she just like, completely admits that she left on her own.
08:54Now she's gonna die at the hands of Grug,
08:56cause, you know, it's strangulation, it rhymes with Grug.
08:58And as our duo head back to base camp,
09:00she tells the gang that she found something new,
09:02which causes an absolute mass panic,
09:04and then she tells her squad away, hold on, I'll call him.
09:06But then the entire gang just destroys her iPhone 6s,
09:09to see if 10,000 Grugs will protect an iPhone from a 100-foot drop gizmo slip,
09:13and then she's all pissed off rightfully, because that was my private property.
09:17BITCH.
09:18You wanna see dangerous? Here!
09:21And then Eep just crashes out, and the entire world's tummy starts rumbling.
09:27Get to the cave!
09:28Grug, I'm going, I'm going!
09:30They've got a Crisis City Mach Speed sectionist, BITCH!
09:32That thunk's carrying a car!
09:34But as Grug sees his family about to be obliterated,
09:36he has no other choice to no-scope-dunk.
09:38Kind of a running theme about that nosing.
09:40And Grug takes on the full blast in order to save his family,
09:43sacrificing himself and ending our film.
09:47And after the debris field, Grug sees his entire estate completely destroyed,
09:51but then Eep crawls up and says,
09:53you guys really need to see this.
09:55That was in the, that was in the trailer, I think.
09:56You really need to see this.
09:58Nicolas Cage, Ryan Reynolds, Emma Stone.
10:03And the gang look out to see Darth Vader's castle in the ba-
10:06That's just, that's just Darth Vader's castle.
10:08And as Grok says that they ain't moving nowhere,
10:10he's kind of forced to because the big thing comes back,
10:12jumping off of the Grug lands and falling into the trees like Avatar 2009.
10:16I'm the only one who gets that reference,
10:18because it seems like I'm the only one who gave a crap about
10:21the movie that made like two billion dollars.
10:22And as Sandy Cheeks rushes over to the bushes and grabs this weird elephant mouse thing.
10:33That's floor s*** right there.
10:35That's three floor s***.
10:36Grugs all peeved out and says that they can't stay in the open for too long
10:39because they're going to get picked off.
10:40However, as the gang try to find a new cave,
10:42they're sent alerts to this big-ass cat thing.
10:44And blah, blah, blah, they just run around and try to find a new cave
10:47and wind up in a monkey field, feel the monkey monkey field.
10:52But they all go away because they see the iconic cat of death looming upon them,
10:56backing our crews into a corner and not even being fazed by Grug's side special.
10:59Wait, I just realized someone should mod,
11:01someone should mod Grug into DK Bonanza when that game comes out.
11:05Please someone do that.
11:06I'm actually begging now, please Jesus Christ do that.
11:09Hey yo Grug, I'm stuck on this level, I'm DK Jungle Climber, what do I do?
11:12Climb, Climb, Climb!
11:14Alright, thanks bro.
11:15But they all run away using the legs of this giant creature thing,
11:18and they all hop into a brand new cave only to realize...
11:25And as it gets spat out of the blowhole, like it spits out of water.
11:28But as Jake the dog's on the horizon, he's about to tear him a new one,
11:31believes after becoming scared after the sun goes down,
11:34as all the surrounding animals start going into sleep mode,
11:36all so that these little birds can start rising up,
11:39and they just murder the whale and there ain't no afterlife in the crew's world,
11:42but he takes matters into her own hands and calls up her boyfriend,
11:45and like he just so happens to be like 100 feet away, how very convenient for them.
11:48The crew's writing is too smart for us.
11:50But as he turbo speeds into the battlefield and lights up a flame,
11:53he performs the coolest scripted segment in gaming history,
11:56as all the smelly birds just completely avoid him and we're winning the day.
12:00Oh.
12:00La la la lava, t-t-t-t-t again.
12:04Steve.
12:05Davey's!
12:05Davey's?
12:06God, you do not have the right to say that word.
12:08As we go through the same song and dance again with the fire and all that,
12:11the whole gang congregates around the fire where Grogg tries to get everybody in check,
12:15and pure pandemonium sets in in one of the most iconic scenes in animation history.
12:19When all the people on Twitter say animation is cinema, now you know what they're damn talking about.
12:30And as they all become projectiles in the big cobblacorn of death, it all explodes and the results make fireworks.
12:36Somehow, I don't know how this works. I'm not gonna question how life was 50 billion years ago.
12:40I'm sure the team did their research.
12:44No, no, don't eat it. It's new.
12:46Nintendo YouTubers when the f***ing Switch comes out for some reason.
12:50And as they all wake up, Guy tries to make a daring escape, but is denied.
12:54And Grug says to let him go, but Eep tries to convince him otherwise.
12:57Eventually realizing that they're gonna need his fire, so he inserts them into an iconic log.
13:01Yeah, well log, because, you know, it rhymes with Grug.
13:03And Guy pleads with the big man to let them go to the big Vader castle in the distance instead of a cave.
13:10That thing's going in the mammoth meatball machine.
13:14And Gorg says that they should go to, uh, to that Vader's castle over there.
13:17I'll never live long enough to get there.
13:21Let's do it.
13:22And he convinces the whole gang that they gotta get in the very marketable pose
13:25that was on the album cover of the Thing song we'll get to later.
13:28Here, I'm gonna do what I think all these, what all these sound like here.
13:31Gah?
13:32Huh?
13:32Huh?
13:33Huh?
13:33Huh?
13:34Huh?
13:34Huh?
13:35Huh?
13:36Huh?
13:37Huh?
13:37Huh?
13:38Huh?
13:39Huh?
13:39Here, right here.
13:41All your knees will be met.
13:42I'm hungry in a minute!
13:44Huh?
13:45Took a five hour energy earlier, it's f***ing paying off, man.
13:47If you drank all night, you had enough energy to run around the whole world.
13:50Huh?
13:50Ah?
13:52Huh?
13:54Huh?
13:56Okay, I'm done.
13:56And then they're all going on a magical mystery tour to Oz, if some of the Yellow Brick Road,
14:00and they're arguing back and forth and being insufferable douches to one another,
14:03like your average whatnot reseller when he brings his family to get in line at Walmart at 6 in the
14:07morning so they can buy up all the Pokemon cards or sell them for a $2 profit,
14:10I need a good headcount, Timmy! It's two per person!
14:12And as Grug sees food in the distance he begins an assault.
14:15As him and Thunk try to steal a big egg from the big ostrich-looking thing,
14:18again, eventually settling on this big scorpion thing instead, and Guy's like, what about the
14:23bird and the egg and all that? I need my protein! And Granny's like, I'm still hungry, I need more,
14:27I need more food, that's what Boogie said. And Granny starts eating thunk again, god damn you,
14:35so Eep's gotta get the stick. But as this is all going down, Guy tries and fails to escape again,
14:39but he says to Eep if she lets him go, he'll let her hunt. So the two go and set a trap so they
14:43can catch the beast and feast on its young. So they create a fake puppet and pretend that it's
14:47gonna try to hook up with the big bird over here, however they get pretty sloppy with the puppeteering
14:50because they have to upload three goddamn videos a week. And the ostrich thing catches on and it
14:56tries its damn hardest to end Guy's existence, and Grug catches him in his iconic log, and as he sees
15:01Eep about to be swallowed by the Thanksgiving turkey, it steps on the trap and now is the Thanksgiving
15:05turkey biatch. We're going back in time to stop the cave from being destroyed. Sometimes I'll let
15:11Grugs burn down to my fingertips just to feel something, anything. But as they all devour every
15:15scrumptious Adam of the bird's carcass, Guy's just sitting there scared out of his mind. Also all the
15:20food here is cooked and you cannot convince me that these guys would have waited more than like
15:2310 seconds to eat that bird. They wanted to eat thunk raw. But as Buttplug decides to make the entire
15:28classroom listen to a story, it's her average Grug tale where Thing disobeys the rules and dies,
15:33and then Guy says that his stories never end like that. So they all line up ready to hear a guy tale,
15:38as he tells the story of the little tiger girl who could, and despite her peers' warnings,
15:42she would always go out to the cliff, and every day she'd get closer and closer to that magical
15:46edge. And one day she jumped. And as the gang all thinks that she's dead and the story's over,
15:51Guy tells them that she flew into the forever sun or whatever rocket said in the Guardians 2 trailer.
15:58And that she chased tomorrow's sun that was so bright and a bunch of metaphors and crap I don't
16:03understand because I'm a shithead. And as Guy tells the gang that he's going to go to tomorrow,
16:09Grug's pissed off as per usual because he's not the center of attention, as they all get some good
16:13old night-night. Oh yeah, then Ryan Reynolds almost takes a tumble. And then they all go to walk again
16:17at the sandy shore, and Ape really wants to get her boyfriend out of his log so she causes a diversion.
16:25He's loose! And Grug decides to step on these little tiny spikes coming out of the sand,
16:29causing a chain reaction where everyone needs to prove themselves to their leader, Grug. That isn't
16:33until he realizes that the goddamn guy's doing it right now, and Grug's so mad because he doesn't
16:37got shoes that are protecting his feetsies, and just he's about to grab the log, Guy makes his
16:41grand escape, and nobody can catch him because that snail is too damn fast. Maybe if Guy Gagne
16:46had the rugged good looks of Grug, he could have beaten the snail in the Indy 500. But then he
16:50realizes that he can't leave Grug all alone, he needs a mother! But this means that the log ride
16:55is over, so he forces Grug to throw away his favorite toy into the stratosphere, and for an act
17:00of reciprocity, he gives epic feetsies to all of our friends. And as Ape does some screaming for money,
17:05they ask Guy where he gets all these crazy shark tank ideas from. I'm calling it a brain.
17:11Ted, I don't have a brain. Patrick, you've been wearing the same Keemstar underpants for the past
17:16three years straight. What do you call that? A bald re- However, Grug's still not convinced and
17:20says ideas are for weaklings, but MF's still out here using the cricket wireless mascots that Guy
17:25gave him for his feet. And as they traverse to the next town, they give a bunch of bananas to a bunch
17:29of monkeys, and it's really funny because there's an entire plot point in the second movie, where it's
17:33like how Grug never ate a banana, and he really wants to eat a banana, and it causes like the
17:38entire end of the movie. It's like so comical because like they make a such big deal about it
17:44in that movie, and he's holding a goddamn banana in this movie. I genuinely can't tell if they're
17:48just like trying to mess with us, like it's right here. I'm so mad. No. No. You guys know that the
17:56Crash and Bernstein set has the SML couch in it? And then as the gang used some stilts to get over
18:00the gorge, Grug's not doing too hot and almost dies, and other comical hijinks ensues with Grug
18:05losing at everything he tries to do, with my favorite one being the awesome gif of him going
18:09into the water. Six-year-old Timmy falling into the deep end of the pool looking for the Krusty Krab.
18:14And then as our montage ends, we find ourselves in this giant labyrinth maze looking place,
18:18and they all need to get handed out shells from their teacher in case they meet up with a stranger
18:22at the Chuck E. Cheese field trip, and Grug Boy is appalled that Guy thinks they should split up
18:25because Scrooge stick together, goddamnit! That is until the earth starts having tummy troubles
18:29again and they all get shoved into the holes, and as Belt deploys his glider, they all got
18:36split up among the caverns, and Thunk's gotta find an exit among all the rumble and ruins.
18:40Guys, I just found this like really cool easter egg. If you like trace along like all the cracks
18:44and like the whole labyrinth maze place, it'll actually spell out crudes. Isn't that cool?
18:49As Granny, Ugga, and Sandy all find this beautiful flowery wonderland, and Thunk finds his new best friend!
18:55And they all go along with their different paths as Grug struggles to make any progress
19:00whatsoever, and as they all have their super fun time, Thunk makes some memories with his
19:04best new mate, but finally, Eve and Guy make it out together and have a wonderful moment
19:08like Tarzan, but it's interrupted by man's best friend. Also, Ugga gets a new haircut
19:13that isn't dog shit, and I mean that, it probably did have actual dog shit in it, but then she
19:18goes back in to find Grug who's throwing a hissy fit, and we see that Thunk named his new
19:21pal Douglas, of course being a reference to Ant-Man 3.
19:24If they did a fourth, would you come back?
19:27As long as I could die.
19:29But then Michael Douglas gets his wish.
19:30Good boy, Douglas!
19:31And as Ma and Pa show up, Grug's pissed off because Guy's stealing his family again,
19:36and Ugga dumps him because he's being such a doom and gloom Snyder fan who won't accept
19:39hope, and he looks up at his family who doesn't give a crap about him anymore because he's
19:43being a big donut hole.
19:45You know, you're being a real donut hole, Tails.
19:47I make the Krabby Patty.
19:48And then Guy goes to claim his bride in order to ensure peak dominance and survival of his
19:52clan.
19:53That is, until we see the end of days over the horizon, dear lord.
19:56We're gonna die!
19:57It's every man for himself!
19:59Help me, Leela!
19:59So Guy brings up the entire crew up to the top of the trees just like Tarzan, and we get
20:04the beautiful stars in the galaxy of Super Mario 3D All-Stars.
20:08I beg your pardon, but that looks like the skybox to Starlight Turner.
20:12And then Eep's like, yeah, I'm going with Guy because he knows what's up and he can provide
20:15for me in a studio apartment in Burbank.
20:17I'd have a heart attack and die!
20:21And as they move forward in the next morning, we see Grug wearing an epic wig.
20:25He got that shitty pugo haircut going on.
20:27Have you ever been on TV before?
20:28Once, when I took those hostages.
20:30And he's trying to imitate Guy in order to make up his own level of ideas.
20:33A ride rhymes with Grug.
20:36Uh, that doesn't...
20:36Shut the f*** up, you piece of garbage!
20:42And as Gruggo Puggo thinks of a few ideas that don't drive that well with the rest of
20:46the family, they finally made their way over to the promised Mustafar land, but none of
20:51that matters because they gotta get moving quick.
20:53However, after all that, Grug sees a cave and ushers them all inside, but nobody gives
20:56a crap about the Grug angle and they're like, yeah, we want to go ride to tomorrow with
21:00Guy, and Grug's like, come on, guys, we're in Dead by Daylight, I know what I'm
21:03talking about.
21:05And Eep crashes out to him and she says they'd be dead if they listened to Grug.
21:11Liquid cheeseburger.
21:13That's all right here, right now, on Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.
21:16And as Grug chases after Guy for stealing everything he knows and holds dear, they done get stuck
21:21in a bat of tar.
21:22And as they all have a moment to calm down, Guy tells Grug that there's no getting out
21:26of this one, as he learns that Guy's family was game-ended in the tar pits many moons
21:30ago, spoiler alert, they show that in the cold open of the sequel, and then none of the rest
21:34of the movie has anything to do with this one.
21:35And they have a heart-to-heart and all that stuff, and Belt's just kind of chilling here,
21:38and I don't really know what he's doing, he can leave.
21:40But Grug finally allows the guy to make an idea to get the hell out of here, and as
21:43they create a puppet of Mr. Tiger, yeah, I remember him from like 30 minutes ago, Belt
21:47starts making a beat to grab his attention, and they try their ding-dang hardest to seduce
21:51the beast.
21:52And we get the best line ever when he goes, hand me those acting sticks.
21:55AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
21:56And as Grug's masterful, Oscar-worthy, will-slapping performance draws the beast near, our gang
22:01gets yeeted out of the tar pit, but now they've got another problem?
22:04But it's okay because the tar pit has grabbed another booty.
22:07But now as the Croods are all back together, and the Earth forgot to take its Adderall, they
22:11all now need to make it to the end of tomorrow something- something- thing James Gunn...
22:15They would all just be getting, like, blinded right now, Jesus.
22:18I'm gonna look through the telescope, and I'm gonna say hi to the man on the sun.
22:21You do that.
22:22Alright, so let me look through it.
22:25Advertiser-friendly!
22:27But the Earth is having massive diarrhea because God's punishing us all for creating Pokemon Scalpers and Pogo's Pizzeria.
22:35They're just about to make it, but they get blocked off by the terrain.
22:38And when Ugga wants to leave and find a new cave, Grug is staring out into the abyss.
22:43And he has to make a choice.
22:44Go back to the cave like they've always known, or reach out to the new tomorrow.
22:49And as Grug says that they need to follow the damn light, he says that he has his strength and that they'll be okay.
22:55And Ugga says it's too risky.
22:57They don't know what's over there.
22:58Grug says, it's a chance.
23:00So Grug does the noble thing and grabs Ryan Reynolds to throw him across the Grand Canyon, I think.
23:05And Belt holds on tight as they get thrown over the gorge like Bart Simpson and Homer Simpson and Peter Simpson.
23:11And as our boy made it to the other side and to the new tomorrow, Grug's gotta sacrifice himself to throw his whole gang over to live new lives.
23:19So he heats Thunk over to get him towards safety.
23:21And then Ugga along with Sandy followed up by Granny.
23:24And just as he's about to throw Eep, she says there's so much that she needs to fix with him and she doesn't have time.
23:29So Grug invents a new form of love called a hug.
23:32Since, you know, it sort of rhymes with Grug.
23:35And as he says that he loves her, they don't have much time and he has to throw her pronto.
23:39And he says to never be afraid.
23:41It's like the beginning, but it's backwards.
23:43And as they all land safely, Grug's gotta get to the promised land.
23:46As he scurries away and winds up in Avengers Doomsday Land, I think.
23:50Yeah, that shit looks like FanForsix Negative Zone.
23:52And he's able to successfully make a fire just like Guy told him many years ago.
23:59And as he's all alone, he does incel behavior and draws an entire fake family on his wall.
24:03But Ruh-Roh, he's got company.
24:07But as he's about to become a snacky time, the Jaguar of Death becomes his best friend because they're both scared of the dark.
24:13But as Grug's thinking about his predicament, he hears the magic conch.
24:16Meaning that they're all in trouble and he's gotta get across that gorge.
24:19And he thinks to himself, what would Guy do? What would Guy do?
24:22And he thinks, what would Grug do?
24:25And he says, I...
24:26Have...
24:28An idea!
24:32Eleven-year-old kids when they realize they can play GameCube games on the Wii the whole time.
24:37So him and his new furry friend go out to alert the death birds from earlier.
24:40Going over into the dead whale carcass skeleton rib cage.
24:43And just as they're all about to devour him and his new friend, they got stuck in the tar.
24:46Allowing him and Oomph to fly over to safety.
24:49Just as they're about to get over the gorge and he sees Douglas.
24:52Hey, I know that guy!
24:53But he's got no time to spare as he sees a bunch of other animals and he keeps collecting them like Noah's Ark, I guess.
24:59Grug was in the Bible, right?
25:00And as the explosion's just about to reach him, he gets blasted on out.
25:03As we see Eep on the other side trying to call out to him.
25:06As the rest of the gang need to break it to her that he's not coming back.
25:09But they all start preaching out with the conch shells as they hear something in the distance.
25:14And realize he's doing it!
25:15He's riding the sun!
25:17And as he crashes on down, he rushes over to see why they're in trouble.
25:20As we get beautiful moment between Eep and Grugkind.
25:24And as everybody's saved, Dunk's thankful to see that Douglas has been preserved.
25:28And now they have a new cat they can raise like one of their own.
25:30And Eep once again looks out into the horizon and says that they really need to see this.
25:35As Grug says that they should go there and embrace the new.
25:38And we get one final look at all the Croods wearing their new clothes to symbolize them growing up I think.
25:43Or something that they did that at the end of Brave I think.
25:46Also the grand return of the damn home mic problem.
25:49We're not exactly cavemen anymore.
25:53And as Eep says that they no longer need to look towards the darkness and only towards tomorrow.
25:58They know that they never have to be afraid.
26:00Because they know that they can look towards tomorrow.
26:04And as they all run off along the sun setting beach one last time.
26:07The KT Extinction event comes on and destroys the entire dinosaurs and everything again.
26:12And there you go.
26:13There's the Croods.
26:14What an iconic film.
26:16I think you can gather how epic this movie is with just how locked in I was for that end part there.
26:21This film is stuffed full of nothing but heart and soul.
26:25It's very clear that they had many ideas when making this film.
26:28And basically all of them got to shine.
26:30The idea of a caveman movie sounds so unmarketable and gross and weird.
26:34But they made it work so damn well.
26:36Somehow all the characters keep saying these big words and it doesn't like break the immersion at all.
26:41Because you just love them so damn much.
26:44I mean there's really no sore points in this whole thing.
26:46Every character gets a good amount of time to shine.
26:48Plus the whole concept of early humans trying to avoid extinction.
26:51It's like dinosaur but if anyone actually remembered or cared about dinosaur.
26:55You know it's bad when they're replacing you with a Lucasfilm property in the big 25.
26:58And all the characters are just built to work off each other and the actors do such a good job.
27:02Ryan Reynolds' snarky comebacks and demeanor just works so perfectly with the character who's clearly the smartest out of everybody.
27:08Nicolas Cage is perfect and can do no role wrong.
27:11And Emma Stone is funny because she died in The Amazing Spider-Man 2.
27:16I mean the guy who voiced Belt is the guy who created Lilo and Stitch the good one.
27:20They know what they're doing here.
27:22Oh yeah he also like wrote and directed the whole thing but that's less important.
27:25The lady who played Ugo was the bad Evelyn lady from Incredibles 2.
27:29Cannot think of a worse downgrade.
27:31Also the guy who did the voice for Sandy is also the voice of Toothless.
27:35I'm no power scaler but like.
27:36Besides that though the visuals in this film have aged pretty well I'd say.
27:39For the 12 billionth time.
27:42This film was created before they reached the peak of CG animation and forced them to either go hyper-realistic Pixar garbage or do more stylization.
27:48But they managed to make the most disgusting grimy character models ever and not making them feel all weird and gross.
27:55I can't really describe it.
27:56But there's just something about all these guys that's just not repulsive somehow.
28:00Even though all the realistic dirt and grime isn't like stylized in any way it's just real.
28:05Why does the model of the teenager with acne peeve me out more than the big sweaty hairy fat man covered in tar?
28:10Moving on from the movie itself though.
28:12There is something I need to talk about right now.
28:13I've been holding this off for months now until I made this video.
28:17This is my moment.
28:19There is a commercial.
28:20So like I'm not gonna describe what the commercial's about.
28:24Let me just play this little old clip for y'all.
28:27I swear to god, I don't even know where to begin.
28:40How am I not making this up?
28:42The crudes, they see a Kia car and they track it down.
28:47They get inside the damn thing.
28:50Only for them to go through a magical interdimensional time portal.
28:55And they play the movies like Owl City theme song.
28:58And we got a bunch of crude shots of them playing around with the car.
29:02And they take a damn picture.
29:04And they just have like a real picture of them in front of the damn car.
29:09What is this picture?
29:11And then they got a bumper sticker of them.
29:13It'd be one thing if they just had like clips of the car.
29:18But they go through the magical time travel portal.
29:21How much did this is canon?
29:22Like, I don't even know.
29:24I don't even fucking understand it.
29:26The Jennifer Lopez home music video seems grounded in comparison.
29:30They get in the fucking car.
29:32And they just get, they go through the fucking time travel portal.
29:36It'd be one thing if they just shove the car in.
29:38The time travel portal is sending me into spirals right now.
29:41This image will start wars.
29:43I have a game theory though.
29:45I fully believe that this commercial is canon to this other one.
29:48Where they go and get the McDonald's happy meal for the movie.
29:51And they're just like in real life and they're looking for food.
29:54This is food.
29:56Thank you bootleg Ryan Reynolds.
29:58Jeffy the puppet.
29:58Yo mama so fat.
30:01Jeffy the puppet.
30:02Kylo Ren.
30:04People so...
30:05These two things cannot be unrelated.
30:08They have the ability to time travel.
30:11They had to have gone to 2013.
30:13Why didn't they just time travel to after the world ended?
30:15Why didn't they call the Grugs Disleague?
30:17Are they stupid?
30:17Tell it's a be po.
30:18Tell it's a be go.
30:19Tell it's a be go.
30:20Tell it's a be go.
30:20Tell it's a be go.
30:21Tell it's a be go.
30:21Tell it's a stealer.
30:21No, no.
30:21After that insanity though, I actually did find these neat Beta Croods logos on this website.
30:26They're pretty neat all things considered.
30:27I like this one with the little caveman in the center.
30:30That's neat.
30:31Nothing else to say about it.
30:32Really just neat little oddities.
30:33Jesus.
30:33Though this website is kind of funny because it's just like of a graphic design company.
30:37And they've just seemingly worked on like every movie of all time.
30:40Like they made that first poster of Cars 3, Lanai McQueen just dying dear lord.
30:44They also made Turbo, Mr. Peabody, and Sherman.
30:48Rebel Moon.
30:49Also, Ralph breaks the internet.
30:50Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
30:52Also, I was scrolling on this website.
30:54Boof!
30:54Chicka!
30:55Get boof!
30:55Chicka!
30:56Get boof!
30:57Chicka!
30:57Get boof!
30:58Chicka!
30:58Get tooo!
30:58We went back in time and we showed this movie to like actual cavemen.
31:01You think they could relate to like Grug's caveman Oonga Boonga struggles?
31:06Or would they probably just start like throwing sticks and rocks at the ground and shitting themselves?
31:09Also, I want to mention the Croods video game for Wii U.
31:12Very iconic.
31:13And like for some reason, this game like sealed in box and still shrink-wrapped is worth like
31:18150 bucks.
31:19Like used, it's only like 30 bucks.
31:21It's not that bad.
31:21For some reason, when it's sealed, it's like people bitching about $80 Mario Kart when
31:26there's a $150 Grug experience.
31:28Also, there is that TV show and I was gonna talk about it, but I watched it for like five
31:32minutes and it's just-it's just slop.
31:34I'm sorry.
31:35I don't care.
31:35I think I've always just had like a vendetta against these shows because they're not one-to-one
31:39like the movies.
31:40I was indoctrinated by a young age because Sherman looked like this and not this.
31:44You know what?
31:44Here's a promise.
31:45When I do the Croods 2 video, inevitably-my water fell.
31:48When I do the Croods 2 video, I will review the-this episode of the Croods 2 Hulu show
31:54that has eight fucking seasons-eight seasons.
31:57Instead, though, I will talk to you about the Fisher-Price Croods toy line.
32:00Look at this.
32:00It's not too extensive.
32:02It's just a couple of little simple figures with gimmicks, I guess.
32:05And they just got some of the characters and some playsets.
32:07But the odd thing is that they seemingly only made like one wave of stuff.
32:10Like they made Grug, Guy, and Thunk of all people.
32:13And then they just-they just never made Eep.
32:15You know, like the main character of the whole series.
32:17Just nope.
32:18I'm just assuming that these toys didn't sell well and they were holding off on Eep for like a big wave too.
32:23They didn't strike while the Crood iron was hot and these probably went to clearance, I guess.
32:27At least we got this beautiful guy figure.
32:29None of you told me there was an official Croods tenor section.
32:33We're looking at this now.
32:34Let me just play some very nice music and then I'll just do like a little slideshow of some of my favorites.
32:39How about that?
32:48This sandy plush looks like what sandy and spongebob make after their wedding night.
32:58And there's the end of our Croods journey, boys.
33:05My head hurts.
33:06Bitchin' stupid dollar general would only let me buy two packs of Pokemon cards.
33:10Damn these scalpers.
33:11I've been bitching about the Pokemon scalpers in this video because this week's been pissing me off.
33:15I don't know why.
33:16I think that five hour energy is cooling down because now I'm all tired and shit.
33:20I don't know how much of that exhaustion is mental, physical, or both because I was screaming about Thunk for like 20 minutes.
33:26Wait, oh my god, I just looked at my email.
33:27I just forgot that the new has-been U2's figures.
33:30I'm buying these while I'm recording.
33:31Add new cart.
33:32Bow chicka bow wow entering my credit card number.
33:36Do $21 shipping, man.
33:38Fucking hell.
33:39I'm gonna go steal the nifty U2's like Thunk stealing that big ol' egg.
33:42I bought this like Pokemon booster box as an investment earlier today.
33:45Also, so that was-that was funny.
33:47I'm gonna hold on to this thing for like 15 years and that's gonna let me retire and buy all the Croods figures from Fisher-Price.
33:53These endings of my videos have just gotten dog shit, man.
33:56I don't even talk about nothing.
33:58Man, I'm hungry as shit, man.
33:59I'm standing on my chair because it'll be quirky and different.
34:03It is kind of funny though because this is kind of like, you know, this is the end.
34:06This is after all the-this is kind of the last like original 2010's DreamWorks movie that's like so iconic.
34:12Except Megamind because everybody's talking about Megamind.
34:15Who cares?
34:15I'm gonna beat my mic with a big-ass Hulk Marvel Legends figure now.
34:20If you're still watching this, then, um, why-why are you doing that, man?
34:24You know, if you're damaging your brain enough to be still watching this crap, here's a teaser for next video.
34:29You earned it, Chief.
34:29Thanks again to Fume for sponsoring.
34:32Also, once again, thank you to my $15 Ultra Mega Super Chad Supreme Patreon tier,
34:38Nathaniel Glad Stolafoy the GOAT.
34:41Subscribe right now or hand me those acting sticks!
34:44What about you?
34:49Oh, my God.
34:49So if I wanted to make you look like that's makes me wish.
34:51fulfillment, focusing on topic.
34:53I love it.
34:54Oh, my God.
34:55Oh, my God.
34:56What's because!
34:57All that shit is coming from here.
34:57Oh, my God.
34:58I love you.
34:58Oh, my God.
35:03What?
35:03Oh, my God.
35:04Oh, my God.
35:07I love you.
35:08Oh, God.
35:08Oh, my God.
35:09Oh, my God.
Recommended
28:54
|
Up next
19:45
15:58
1:28:32
39:30
4:48