gold

Lisa W

yesterday

Transcript

00:00It's our lot. It's the only place we've gone.

00:02Well, I say we sit back while those two jerks kill each other.

00:06And then when they're dead, we can have our lot back.

00:09I don't know, Steve.

00:10I don't think it's gonna be that easy.

00:20Strike one!

00:27Coming through!

00:28Hey, watch it. We're trying to play football here.

00:30Hey, you watch it.

00:32Fruit cup? We're playing soccer.

00:33Who are you calling fruit cup?

00:35You want some of this?

00:37Yeah, let's go.

00:38Come on, loser.

00:40You're a waste of a good vacant life.

00:43We gotta do something about it, Gerald.

00:45Arnold, until those two buddies either give up or finish each other off,

00:50there ain't nothing we can do about it.

00:52Hey, Arnold, Gerald, heads up!

00:54I got it!

00:57I got it!

00:58Car!

01:03This really bites.

01:06We have to get our game off the street.

01:08Dory Einstein, you got any ideas?

01:11Well, we could just make some kind of a deal with them.

01:15You know, get into the share of the lot without fighting.

01:18Oh, come on!

01:20Oh, man!

01:22That's likely here, boy.

01:24I mean, look at them.

01:25They're beating the crap out of each other.

01:26I'm afraid I concur, Arnold.

01:29It don't look like they're in much of a deal-making mood.

01:34Listen, you guys.

01:35Never know until we try.

01:37We just gotta walk up to them and tell them how it's gonna be.

01:40Who's with me?

01:45I'll give you.

01:49Hey!

01:50Look, you guys.

01:58We have at least as much right to use the vacant lot as you do.

02:02From now on, we want you to share it with us.

02:05What do you say?

02:12So now what football head?

02:14Okay, I've got another player.

02:16How about if we get them to play a football game against each other?

02:20Who?

02:21Wolfgang and Ludwig.

02:23What for?

02:23Winner take all.

02:25The loser has to go play somewhere else.

02:27Then we could make a deal with whoever wins.

02:30Arnold, how hard do they hit you?

02:32You're talking crazy, man.

02:34I'm serious, Gerald.

02:36It can work.

02:37Yeah.

02:37Have you told them about it?

02:43Not yet.

02:44Well, well.

02:47If it isn't the football head.

02:48Come around for another beating.

02:50Actually, Ludwig sent me.

02:52Ludwig?

02:53What for?

02:54To tell you that you're the toughest.

02:56He gives up.

02:57He quits.

02:58About time he figured it out.

03:00So the vacant lot is all yours, Wolfgang.

03:02Starting today.

03:04Why don't you come by and, uh, you know,

03:06look the place over.

03:08Say, after school?

03:09No, I've got obolescence till four.

03:11Okay.

03:13Er, right after four, then.

03:15Okay.

03:19Yo, kid.

03:29Give me your lunch money.

03:31Hey, Ludwig.

03:32Hey, it's football face.

03:35What do you want?

03:36Wolfgang sent me to tell you that he gives up.

03:39He quits.

03:41He says you're the toughest.

03:43Huh.

03:43So, the fruit cup finally wised up.

03:46Yeah.

03:47Anyway, the vacant lot is all yours.

03:49Starting today.

03:50Want to come by and, uh, inspect the place?

03:53You know, after school.

03:55Okay.

03:56Like a little after four?

03:58Because I got tap dancing lessons.

04:00A little after four is great.

04:02Wait a minute.

04:03Give me your lunch money.

04:04Hey.

04:05Hey.

04:06Hey.

04:07Hey.

04:08Hey.

04:09What's he doing here?

04:20What's he doing here?

04:21What are you doing here?

04:23I invited you both.

04:25Huh?

04:25What for?

04:26To settle this thing over a football game.

04:29Whichever one of you wins gets to use the vacant lot.

04:32And the loser has to go find another place to be the bully.

04:35You can't make us do anything, football head.

04:38What?

04:39You don't think he can be a little big at a game of football?

04:42What are you talking about?

04:43I'd kick his butt.

04:45Oh, yeah?

04:45Yeah.

04:46Then you're on.

04:47Fine.

04:48My guy's against your guys.

04:50Okay.

04:50You know the drill.

04:51Stop sign first base.

04:53Manhole covers second.

04:54And chocolate boy is third.

04:55Sid, you watch for cars.

04:57Let's do it.

04:58Hold up.

04:59I got a better idea.

05:00Why should we kill each other?

05:02We'll use the fourth graders.

05:05What?

05:06What are you talking about?

05:08We'll split them up into teams, stupid.

05:10You and me coach.

05:11Winner gets to run the vacant lot.

05:13Oh, no.

05:15I am not going to be part of your dumb little football game.

05:22I can't believe I'm part of their dumb little football game.

05:27It'll be worth it, Helga.

05:29You'll see.

05:30Okay, I pick Tubby.

05:32Hey, my name's not Tubby, it's Harold.

05:36And I want to be on Wolfgang's team.

05:38Tubby, shut up and get over here.

05:40Oh, man, what is money I don't want you?

05:43Okay, play until the sun sets behind that wall.

05:47Call it for the kickoff.

05:48Heads, tails, you kick off, wussies.

06:00Okay, huddle.

06:08Here's the plan.

06:09I have a plan.

06:10Give me the ball.

06:11Really, just give me the ball.

06:14Shut up, four eyes.

06:15You, you, and you go long.

06:18You throw it.

06:18Three, seven, four.

06:24Hut, hut, high.

06:34Come on, let's get it back, you bunch of lightweights.

06:38Aw, I hate Ludwig.

06:42I hate Wolfgang.

06:43And I hate you, Arnold.

06:45Hell, I hate everybody.

06:47And you're sitting on my leg.

06:48Hut, hut, hut, hut.

07:12Hut, hut, hut, hut.

07:16Come on, we're down.

07:24We need to score here.

07:26Just give me the ball, okay?

07:27Give me the ball.

07:29God, shut up.

07:31You, buttonhole, on three, break.

07:41Tied again, cheese breath.

07:46Tied again, cheese breath.

07:48Tied again, cheese breath.

07:52Hey!

07:56Tied again, cheese breath.

08:10We've got lucky.

08:31No luck, dude.

08:33Just talent.

08:34Okay, we're looking good.

08:36Come on!

08:37Give me the ball!

08:38Give me the ball!

08:40Okay, you weird little freak.

08:42We're ahead anyway.

08:44If you'll shut up, I'll give you the ball.

08:46This time, give him the ball.

08:49Down, set, hut, hut, hike!

08:56Slingy!

09:01Shitty!

09:04Huzzah!

09:05Yeah!

09:08Okay, now we need another ball.

09:16Hey, nice play, coach.

09:18Your fourth graders are falling apart.

09:22Ow, dude.

09:24Ah.

09:24Only a minute to go.

09:34You gotta kick another field, though, football head.

09:37But that would only be a tie.

09:38Better than losing.

09:39Come on, Arnold.

09:40Make the kick.

09:41Break.

09:45Arnold, why are we doing this?

09:48Come on.

09:49Take a dive.

09:50Miss the kick.

09:51Then Ludwig wins, and our nightmare is over.

09:55Helga, I've got an idea.

09:57Have you noticed those two?

09:59It's like they're turning into friends or something.

10:02I mean, look at them.

10:03Dude.

10:05What's your point?

10:06Well, if they tie it up, maybe we can all get along and use the lock together.

10:11Arnold, you are such an idiot.

10:14What a guy.

10:34Whoa, awesome game, dude.

10:36You rock, man.

10:38No, you rock, man.

10:39Seriously, dude, you're that good.

10:41Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

10:47Uh, dudes, since there's no winner, maybe you can be friends now and share the vacant lot.

10:54Like I said in the first place.

10:56Yeah, it'll be great.

10:58We'll be buds and run the lot together, huh?

11:00And we'll keep all the wussy fourth graders out.

11:03Wait a minute.

11:04That wasn't what we agreed on when we started the game.

11:07Since when do we have to do what you say, you wussy fourth grader?

11:11Hey, come on!

11:13That's not fair!

11:17Now, what football head?

11:19We have two bullies and no vacant lot.

11:23Looks like we'll have to go to plan B.

11:26What's plan B?

11:28I'll tell you as soon as I think of it.

11:30Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

11:34Here you go, Helga.

11:53I said sharp, Phoebe.

11:55These are duller than afternoon tea with my granny.

11:58Redoing.

11:59Ouch!

12:00Burger and fries, chocolate milk, two bendy straws, and hop to it, Phoebs.

12:06I'm starving here.

12:07Touching.

12:13I'll see you on the bus, Helga.

12:15I'm off to the library to return the book.

12:17Oh, great.

12:18You can take mine back while you're at it.

12:19They're only a few weeks overdue.

12:21Shouldn't cost more than ten or twenty bucks.

12:23Returning.

12:24Um, Helga, since my excursion to the library may take a few more minutes than previously anticipated,

12:31do you think you could please do me a little favor and hold the bus?

12:35Sure thing, Phoebs.

12:44She couldn't even do that one thing for me.

12:53Um, excuse me, Royal Highness.

13:08I thought you might be pleased to know that I finally finished bit-shining all the palace floors.

13:13Excellent.

13:14Now, cleanse my royal feet, polish my royal scepter, and delouse the royal dog.

13:23Oh, babe?

13:24Um, your royal highness, since my forthcoming royal duties may require more dexterity than

13:30perhaps your greatness has anticipated, do you think you could please do me one little favor?

13:35Me do a favor for you?

13:38Well, yes.

13:39You see, I was wondering if you could please remove my shackles.

13:43They're quite prohibitive.

13:45Oh, that's funny.

13:46That's terribly, terribly funny.

13:48Please, please, if you could just do this one little thing for me.

13:53A favor?

13:54A favor?

13:55A favor?

14:06Hello?

14:07Yo, Phoebs, think you could do me a favor on your way to school?

14:10I need you to pick up my dry cleaning.

14:12It's only like ten or twelve blocks out of your way.

14:14Oh, and why don't you grab me a dozen donuts while you're at it?

14:17You know, those chocolate cream-filled ones with the pink frosting and the little heart-shaped

14:21sprinkled things?

14:22Thanks.

14:23No problem.

14:25Perhaps my dream meant nothing at all.

14:28Perhaps it was merely an absurd fantasy, its players and content having nothing at all

14:33to do with reality.

14:34On the other hand, if I were to interpret it in a more literal fashion, I'd have to conclude,

14:40judging by the rather overt symbolism, that I'm currently experiencing negative feelings

14:46about certain inequalities in my relationship with Helga.

14:50Phoebe!

14:51Look out!

14:52Huh?

14:57I wonder what all the fuss is about.

14:59I bet Warts pulled the old groin muscle again.

15:02What the?

15:05Poor Phoebe.

15:07Yeah, with all Helga's worship struck near view, she never even saw that dang bus coming.

15:15Mm-mm-mm.

15:16Getting mowed down by a bus doing errands for Helga Pataki?

15:21Now that is truly sad.

15:23I guess you're right, Gerald.

15:24If Phoebe hadn't been doing favors for Helga, this probably wouldn't have happened.

15:29Oh, dear sweet Phoebe.

15:32What have I done?

15:35Phoebe!

15:36Oh, I must go to her right away.

15:38I must beg her for forgiveness.

15:41I must write to her whom I am so wronged.

15:44I only pray that I'm not too late.

15:48Oh, poor innocent Phoebe.

16:00This is all my fault.

16:01If I hadn't sent you on the senseless errand of picking up dry-clinging and chocolate cream-filled donuts with the pink frosting and little heart-shaped sprinkles,

16:11this horrible catastrophe would have never happened.

16:15Helga?

16:17Phoebe?

16:20Phoebe, you're okay!

16:22Of course I'm okay.

16:24I just have a minor stress fracture in my lower leg.

16:27Minor stress fracture?

16:28Oh, that's wonderful!

16:31Wait a minute.

16:32What am I talking about?

16:33It isn't wonderful!

16:34It's horrible!

16:34It is?

16:35Of course it is, Phoebe!

16:37It's horrible because I did it to you!

16:39I mean, think about it.

16:41If I hadn't put you under so much stress this morning,

16:44if I didn't make you change your normal, safe schedule,

16:48you wouldn't have walked in front of that bus and this never would have happened!

16:52Helga, it was just an accident.

16:54Oh, no.

16:54Don't try to take the blame, Phoebe.

16:56This is my fault and I'm going to make it up to you.

16:59And so, until that cast comes off your leg,

17:02until you're completely healed,

17:04until your very serious minor stress fracture is a thing of the past,

17:09I, Helga G. Pataki, am going to be your humble servant.

17:13And I'm going to treat you like a queen.

17:16A queen?

17:17And don't try to talk me out of it.

17:19Well, okay, Helga.

17:20Well, I mean, if you insist.

17:28You reorganized my desk and stocked it with fresh supplies?

17:33Whenever did you find the time?

17:35I came in last night,

17:37slipped the janitor a 20 and he let me raid the school store.

17:40Gosh, Helga, thanks so much.

17:43Wow, that's quite a selection.

17:45Ha! You kidding?

17:47This is just the first course.

17:48Gee, Helga, you sure are good to me.

17:56I saved it for us.

17:57You mean you reserved us the incredibly explosive left side front seat?

18:03Yep.

18:04I mean, sure, old Betsy here had to put in a little overtime,

18:07but eventually I got the job done.

18:09Really, Helga, you shouldn't have.

18:11But I'm so glad you did.

18:13So, what's a diagnosis, doctor?

18:18Am I going to be laid up for a few more weeks?

18:21On the contrary, Phoebe.

18:22You're ready to get your cast off today.

18:25You mean I'm healed?

18:27Yep.

18:27Quite miraculous, actually.

18:29Anyway, I'm ready to return you to your normal life.

18:32My normal life?

18:34These are duller than afternoon tea with my granny.

18:37Pop to a feed, I'm starving here.

18:39They're only a few weeks overdue.

18:41Shouldn't cost more than 10 or 20 bucks.

18:43Um, doctor, do you think I could keep my cast once it's removed?

18:47You know, as a souvenir?

18:53It'll only be for a little while longer.

18:56And besides, what harm could it do anyway?

18:59I mean, after all, what Helga doesn't know certainly won't hurt her.

19:03Hey, Phoebe.

19:15How do you feel?

19:16Things are just great.

19:17Though I'm sad to report that I'll have to have my cast on for a few more weeks.

19:22A few weeks, huh?

19:23I hope it won't be too much of a problem for you.

19:27Because if it is, I suppose I could try and wheel myself around.

19:32The problem?

19:33Of course not, Phoebe.

19:34Like I said before, I'm here to serve.

19:36Broccoli cheese puff casserole, fruit juice, chocolate pudding cup.

19:47It's great, Helga.

19:48Only, only I'd really prefer tapioca pudding.

19:52I mean, if it's not too much trouble.

19:53Coming right up.

19:57See, I cleaned and reorganized the whole thing, just like you asked.

20:01Thanks, Helga.

20:03Now, do you think you could alphabetize the books for me?

20:06Yeah, sure, Phoebs.

20:07No problem.

20:10Why don't you take the alphabet today, Phoebe?

20:12That way you can have more room to stretch out your legs.

20:14Actually, Helga, I'd probably be more comfortable if you sat over there.

20:23Moving.

20:28Helga?

20:28Taking orders from Phoebe?

20:30I have something you don't see every day.

20:32Well, I'll curse.

20:33You ain't kidding.

20:35It is pretty weird.

20:36But once she gets her cast off, things will probably go back to the way they were.

20:57That's it.

20:58I can't take it anymore.

20:59Phoebe?

21:00Where are you going?

21:01It's okay, Helga.

21:02I'm just getting a little exercise.

21:05You sure?

21:06You sure you don't need my help?

21:08I'm fine.

21:17Phoebe?

21:18Arnold!

21:18What are you doing?

21:20Nothing.

21:20Nothing at all.

21:21You're cast.

21:22It isn't real.

21:24Oh, what are you talking about, Earl?

21:26Of course it's real.

21:27Phoebe, I just saw you take it off and put it back on.

21:31Maybe it was real once, but now, now it has hinges.

21:36Okay, so, what if it is a fake?

21:39It's a free country.

21:40I can fake a broken leg if I want to.

21:42I guess, but why would you want to?

21:45No reason.

21:46Phoebe, this doesn't by any chance have anything to do with Helga, does it?

21:50Helga?

21:50Yeah, you know, because of the way she treats you.

21:53Well, of course not, Arnold.

21:55That's just completely ridiculous.

21:56I mean, just because Helga's been waiting on me hand and foot ever since the bus accident,

22:01so it was essentially her fault, doesn't mean that I'd falsely prolong my injury in some

22:06kind of passive-aggressive attempt to reap the benefits of her guilty conscience and

22:10simultaneously give her a taste of her own bossy medicine.

22:14Good, because treating her the same way she treated you really wouldn't solve anything.

22:19I completely agree.

22:20Anyway, I'll see you later, Arnold.

22:23Helga, I need a pillow adjustment.

22:29Fluffing.

22:36That's enough.

22:38Really?

22:39Are you sure you don't need a little more lift on the left?

22:41I'm sure.

22:42So, Helga, what's for lunch?

22:44Well, you see, I was up late last night thinking about your nutritional needs, and I decided

22:48that you really shouldn't be eating this cafeteria food.

22:50And so, homemade avocado rolls.

22:55Ooh, they're exquisite.

23:01On second thought, Helga, I'm not really that hungry right now.

23:05Are you sure?

23:06Because if you'd rather have something else...

23:08Come in.

23:23So, where'd we leave off, short man?

23:26Oh, that's right.

23:27Your mommy dead.

23:28Made it out of the jungle alive.

23:31Grandpa, please, can we skip the story tonight?

23:35What?

23:36Are you sick or something?

23:38You sure you don't want a story?

23:41Yeah, I'm sure.

23:43I really just want to go to sleep.

23:45Oh, I get it.

23:48Pretty nervous about the competition, huh?

23:51Well, don't worry, Arnold.

23:53We'll strike fear and terror in the hearts of your little classmates.

24:02Arnold, Arnold, he's our man.

24:05If he can't do it, no one can.

24:08Who's the best?

24:09East to west.

24:11Who's got zest?

24:12Beat the rest.

24:13I know, I know.

24:15Six, boom, bah.

24:16Goal, I know.

24:21Who had a lineup you got there, football head?

24:24Huh.

24:25We gotta beat these characters?

24:27Oh, the trophy's practically ours.

24:30Jesus, you're gonna be looking at it.

24:34Crossing the finish line, Pataki.

24:36Eh, eh, eh.

24:38Morning, Pia's 118th fourth grade class.

24:41And all of your parents.

24:43Welcome to our first ever parents' tournament weekend.

24:47Eugene?

24:54Ow.

24:55I'm okay.

24:57At the end of this weekend, one lucky family will take home this trophy.

25:03You're all winners, of course.

25:05Whoever wins the trophy is best pairing.

25:09No, no, no, no, no, no, you don't understand.

25:11This isn't that kind of competition.

25:14Everybody wins this weekend.

25:16The trophy is more of a symbol, really.

25:19Yeesh.

25:19What a tea cozy.

25:21I doubt if there's a handful of guts in this whole stinking crowd.

25:26What are you looking at?

25:28You ready, Oka?

25:29Let's kick some butt.

25:32Let the games begin!

25:37All right!

25:40Let's kick some butt.

26:03Okay, at present, Gerald's team is in third place.

26:12Phoebe's and Arnold's teams are tied for second.

26:16And the team to beat is Helga's.

26:19You must be tired, Grandpa.

26:22You sure you don't want to sit this one out?

26:24Are you kidding?

26:26I'm just getting my second wind.

26:29Okay, we've come to the final competition of the day.

26:33The egg toss relay race.

26:36Teammates, you must keep tossing your eggs back and forth to each other until we're down to two contestants.

26:43Boy, that guy likes to hear himself talk, doesn't he?

26:46Okay, come on, you two. We gotta strategize.

26:49Where were you on that last race, Helga?

26:52We should have won by a mile.

26:54You better not let me down, girl.

26:56What do you mean, let you down?

26:58Listen, I have taken time off from my busy schedule, running a V4 Empire, to show up here today.

27:07So I deserve to win that best parent trophy.

27:10And losing it is unacceptable.

27:13Dad, this just in.

27:16We're ahead!

27:17That's exactly the kind of attitude that breeds losers.

27:20You got me?

27:22Loud and clear.

27:24Bob, you're the man.

27:26We gotta win you that trophy.

27:28Hey, that's the kind of attitude I want to see.

27:31Fun?

27:48Fun?

27:49Three teams remain.

27:51Phoebe, Helga, and Arno.

27:54Nice job, football head.

28:10You couldn't catch it cold!

28:12You loser!

28:13You couldn't...

28:14Hey, heads up!

28:15For crying out loud, Helga, what's the matter with you?

28:22Keep your eye on the egg, not your opponent!

28:25We are not gonna let some orphan boy and his ancestors win this parents' weekend thing.

28:33You understand?

28:34Dad!

28:35What?

28:35That's up, drug man.

28:37Atta boy!

28:42Phoebe!

28:44Arno, you look like you've been pulling.

28:47What the damn hell happened out there?

28:50Nothing, Grandpa.

28:51I just got turned around.

28:57That's all.

28:57That trophy better not slip out of my fingers, Helga.

29:01You got that?

29:02Victory will be mine.

29:04Victory.

29:09What price of victory?

29:11The trophy is an empty mockery if my dad wins it.

29:15What's the point of winning if it means hurting the one thing I love most in life?

29:22My beloved, parentless Arnold.

29:26I've got it!

29:28I'll go apologize for my dad, and then I'll be conscience-free to beat Arnold tomorrow.

29:33What a great plan.

29:36Hey, football head!

29:38Wait up!

29:38What, Helga?

29:40I just want to say that, I mean, I like an insult just as much to the next guy.

29:46But back there when my dad said that thing about you being an orphan...

29:51Yeah, I remember.

29:54Well, I guess maybe you went too far.

29:57I gotta get going.

29:58I mean, you know you don't have parents.

30:00You don't need my dad pointing it out to you.

30:03I mean, it's tough enough being all alone in the world, but...

30:06Thanks, Helga.

30:09So, you okay?

30:11Sure.

30:12Good!

30:13Because tomorrow I'm going to kick your butt!

30:15I think that went very well.

30:22Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam, where the deer and the ant will all play.

30:36More kidney bean sticks?

30:38Why, you ain't even touched your first helping.

30:42I guess I eat a lot at the festival.

30:45Ooh, no harm in that.

30:47Festival food is good for you.

30:49Especially that pink, fluffy junk on a stick.

30:53I'll take some more of them beans, Pookie.

30:56I need plenty of fuel to wipe the floor with that Pataki character tomorrow.

31:02Um, Grandpa, about the tournament, I'd rather not go back tomorrow.

31:07Think we could do something else.

31:09Uh-oh, I sense another one of your oh-so-painfully-illuminating boyhood problems.

31:17Fess up, Arnold.

31:18It's just that Parents' Tournament Weekend is for kids and their parents.

31:26And you and Grandma are great and everything, but you're not actually my parents.

31:34I don't know if we belong there.

31:36Oh, Arnold.

31:38Anyway, I think I'm too full for dessert.

31:42Good night.

31:43I made a raspberry cobbler.

31:46No thanks.

31:47Night, Arnold.

31:48Night, Arnold.

31:50Now, now what, Pookie?

31:53You better go talk to him, Phil.

31:56I don't know.

31:57Somehow I don't think another bedtime story about his parents is gonna fix this.

32:02He needs you, Phil.

32:05You better go talk to him anyway.

32:08Okay.

32:10Wish me luck.

32:11You okay, short man?

32:34Come in, Grandpa.

32:35I take it you don't want to hear the story about how your parents saved the entire country of Sri Lanka from fire ants, do you?

32:45No.

32:45How about the time when they were acrobats in the Peking Midget Circus and the big top burned down and, uh, you didn't want to.

32:56I guess I'm plum out of good stories.

32:59Tell me the real story this time, Grandpa.

33:02I want to hear what really happened to my parents.

33:05Oh, dear.

33:07Are you sure, Arnold?

33:09Yes.

33:10I'm sure.

33:12All right, then.

33:13Here goes.

33:14Your father really was a scientist, you know.

33:18And he was a doctor, too.

33:21One day he was hiking with his expedition, looking for a rare tropical plant that could cure a terrible disease.

33:30But then Dr. Ironsclaw with his evil plan to overtake the entire world.

33:37Grandpa.

33:38Oh, yeah, I told you, that's right.

33:41You wanted the troops, you know.

33:42Well, anyway, your father was on an expedition.

33:46Look at that cloud.

33:48It's just like a sailboat.

33:50A schooner.

33:51Fifty miles into the jungle and he's looking at schooners in the clouds.

33:55My friend, you are a true romantic.

33:58A romantic?

33:59The ladies must be crazy for you.

34:02Are you kidding?

34:03I'll never find a girl who put up with me wandering like this all over the planet.

34:08Oh, look at that cloud.

34:11Isn't it beautiful?

34:12It's like a sailboat.

34:14A clipper.

34:14It's more of a schooner, really.

34:23Yeah, if you couldn't tell the schooner from a clipper ship.

34:29Hello?

34:32Hello?

34:35Ay, ay, ay.

34:36It was so much alike, your mom and dad.

34:47I never saw anything like it.

34:57Oh.

34:58Oh.

34:59Oh.

35:00Oh.

35:01Oh.

35:02Oh.

35:03Oh.

35:04Oh.

35:05Oh.

35:06You can relax.

35:23The cavalry's here.

35:25You always hang around on mountainsides?

35:28You sure you landed on your shoulder?

35:31As opposed to my heart?

35:35Oh.

35:36Oh.

35:37They all help your dad and his friend get down to a safe place before dark.

35:43Oh.

35:44Oh.

35:45Oh.

35:53Oh.

35:54They were meant for each other, short man.

36:02They traveled around the world together.

36:06So all that stuff about flying planes and exploring jungles was true?

36:11Yep.

36:11You didn't make it up.

36:13Well, I may have exaggerated some parts.

36:18The stuff about the midget circus I mostly made up.

36:22I was drawing on my own experiences.

36:26You wanted a lot of bedtime stories, Arnold, and I needed a lot of material.

36:32I guess I understand.

36:33But they were really good people and they sure loved each other.

36:39That's why they decided to get married and have you.

36:43So what happened to them?

36:46Where are they now, Grandpa?

36:47Hmm.

36:48I don't remember, do you?

36:50He was just a little fella.

36:55Good boy, Arnold.

37:00You can make it.

37:02That's my boy.

37:04You did it.

37:05One day, your dad's old friend Eduardo came to see them.

37:10Seems there was a disease wiping out whole villages in the remotest parts of his country.

37:17Villages that hadn't seen an outsider since your parents used to fly in with medicine.

37:23I'm sorry, Eduardo.

37:27Oh, we have a baby boy now.

37:30That part of our lives is over.

37:33We can't go with you, my friend.

37:35But you two are my last hope.

37:39These mountain people may die out forever.

37:42Please, my old friend, I am begging you.

37:45For the sake of the children, one last mission, please.

37:54You won't be gone long, I promise.

37:57You'll be a good boy for Grandpa and Grandma, okay?

38:01We'll be back next week, little buddy.

38:03Then I'll take you to the park.

38:05Mommy loves you so much.

38:07Daddy loves you, Arnold.

38:20Bye, Mommy.

38:21Bye, Daddy.

38:23Bye, Daddy.

38:23And so they loaded up their plane and took off for one last time.

38:40Bye, Daddy.

38:41Bye, Daddy.

38:42Bye, Daddy.

38:43Bye, Daddy.

38:44Bye, Daddy.

38:45Bye, Daddy.

38:46Bye, Daddy.

38:47Bye, Daddy.

38:48Bye, Daddy.

38:49Bye, Daddy.

38:50Bye, Daddy.

38:51Bye, Daddy.

38:52Bye, Daddy.

38:53Bye, Daddy.

38:54Bye, Daddy.

38:55Bye, Daddy.

38:56Bye, Daddy.

38:57Bye, Daddy.

38:58Bye, Daddy.

38:59Bye, Daddy.

39:00Bye, Daddy.

39:01Bye, Daddy.

39:02Bye, Daddy.

39:03Bye, Daddy.

39:04Bye, Daddy.

39:05Bye, Daddy.

39:06Bye, Daddy.

39:07Bye, Daddy.

39:08Bye, Daddy.

39:09What happened to them, Grandpa?

39:24They never came back.

39:26Never heard from them again.

39:29What about their plane?

39:30It was never found.

39:34So they could just be lost?

39:37And maybe someday they might come back.

39:42Well, I suppose that's possible, Arnold.

39:45It's not very likely, but it is possible.

39:50Grandpa, thanks for telling me the truth.

39:54You're growing up, aren't you, short man?

40:07Mommy!

40:19Daddy!

40:21Mommy!

40:23Daddy!

40:25Mommy!

40:26Daddy!

40:27What are you doing out of bed, short man?

40:31I'm scared I can't find my mommy and daddy.

40:38Oh, now don't cry, you poor little fella.

40:42Hey, how about I tell you a warm mythical bedtime story tonight?

40:48Yeah, that's the ticket.

40:51Did I ever tell you about the time your mom and dad worked for a midget circus in Peking?

40:58No.

40:59Tell me the story.

41:01Oh, why, they're natural-born acrobats, your mom and dad.

41:07They can walk a high wire just like strolling down the sidewalk.

41:13It comes from years of crossing rope ridges in Mozambique.

41:18That's a country in Africa, you know.

41:35Say, Tex, what's a cowpoke like you doing without his horse?

41:41Come on back, old Pete.

41:44Say, giddy up.

41:45Giddy up.

41:57Thatta boy Arnold, that's the right stuff.

42:01Off we go into the wild, loomian girl.

42:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

42:09Mmm, well, this oatmeal's awfully runny, Pookie.

42:29That's because it's miso soup.

42:31You need warrior strength on the field of battle today, Anshin-san.

42:36Oh, Pookie, I think we better forget about the parents' tournament.

42:43I talked to Arnold last night.

42:45Morning, Grandpa. Morning, Grandma.

42:47Oh, hi, Arnold. I didn't hear you coming. Sleep well?

42:53Sort of. I had some interesting dreams.

42:56You were still thinking of that story I told you about your parents?

43:01Yeah, I am.

43:03Well, then, got any ideas what you'd like to do today?

43:09Go fishing, maybe, or down to the aquarium?

43:13I was thinking. Maybe we can go back to the parents' tournament.

43:18Really? But I thought you said it was just for kids with actual parents.

43:24Yeah, but for me, that means you and Grandma.

43:28Then it's time to man the battle stations.

43:34We'll fight them in the trenches.

43:36We'll fight them on the beaches.

43:38We'll give them heck, Harry.

43:42No!

43:44That's right. We're a team.

43:46Nothing can stop us.

43:48I'm going to win that trophy, or my name's not Big Bob attacking.

43:54And nothing's going to stop us.

43:56Welcome back, parents, kids, to our final day of Parents' Tournament Weekend.

44:33It can't be!

44:35The little bag in the orphanage can't beat you.

44:39It's best parent day, not screw-everything-up day, Miriam.

44:44I beg your pardon?

44:46Just get the kid on my back.

44:48Oh, no!

44:48I'm sorry, Mr. Pataki, but dropping your daughter disqualifies you in this competition.

45:01What are you telling me for?

45:03Miriam's the one who dropped her.

45:05I'm sorry, Mr. Pataki, but those are the rules, and I'm going to leave now.

45:12And just forget about it, okay?

45:16Don't tell me to forget about it, little lady!

45:20And for the ultimate challenge, we have the triathlon, where the contestants must pass their batons to their teammates in a series of grueling events, ending in the balance beam, gelatin shells!