00:01Durst, I hate to do it to you, man. I do, but you're gonna have to make do with pepper spray and a taser.
00:06This is strike three with the gun.
00:08Yesterday you said you wanted the monolith gone. Today it's gone.
00:11Yeah, but I didn't tell you to shoot it in the air after.
00:13Bullets don't disintegrate. They come down. We've talked about this. You get it back when you've earned it.
00:17Obviously, this week, folks, you get a new lieutenant.
00:20This guy is not to be trifled with.
00:23I tried lightly this morning to trifle with him, and it did not go well.
00:27He also told me that there will be a park-wide inspection the moment he arrives.
00:33It is what it is.
00:34Okay, what else? Oh, maintenance department.
00:38Van Zandt, have you cleared out the rattlesnake pit by the parking lot?
00:43Not yet.
00:44We have to do this before the lieutenant gets here, Van Zandt. This is a must.
00:49Okay, fine. I'll do it.
00:51He probably hasn't done it because he's afraid of sneaks.
00:55Oh, my God, she's right. You hurt him.
00:58Hey! Hey!
01:00No, I'm not.
01:01Can we just have, like, a little respect for the lieutenant?
01:04Interim lieutenant.
01:05Bless you. Yeah, he's leaving.
01:07I've been a ranger for ten years.
01:09I started working here at Mount Mystic five years ago, and I started applying for different parks on my second day.
01:16The people that work here are weird.
01:18Van Zandt, for instance, he shouldn't be allowed to work at a water park, let alone a state park.
01:25And myself, I'm built different. I'm supposed to be at a national park, but, you know, I was starting to get discouraged that I would never actually get the opportunity.
01:32And then Yosemite National Park calls me, and now I'm on my way. So I'm excited about that, and I can't wait.
01:39Every lieutenant since Mount Mystic was established, and we're talking the early 1900s, has either died or gone missing on the job.
01:46After a bow to crush my old boss, they couldn't find a replacement, so I drew the short straw and ended up serving as the interim lieutenant ever since.
01:53People say this place is cursed, and it gets strange sometimes, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it cursed.
02:02Okay.
02:04All right, so I need a volunteer to train the new girl, Marsh. Who's up for it?
02:09Dib.
02:10Sir, I got it. I can do this. I'm more than qualified.
02:14What did dibs mean?
02:16I'll do great. It'll be great. You're gonna be—
02:18Santa Rosa, we're gonna go with you.
02:21Um, also, Silva, thanks for the farewell cupcakes. They were excellent. Thank you.
02:27Thank you, Silva.
02:28Wait, wait, wait, wait. We can all agree.
02:29Hey, hey, hey, hey. I didn't get a cupcake, though.
02:32I made for everybody.
02:34For everybody, I didn't get a cupcake.
02:36Who had another cupcake?
02:38Okay, listen, folks. We need to finish strong.
02:41Do not make me look like an idiot. Have some respect for yourselves, at least.
02:45Let's go, troops.
02:46Alright, we're going.
02:49Who, who, who, who, who, who, who!
02:59You hit a...
03:01You hit.
03:02Thanks.
03:03Son of a bitch.
03:06Just spit it out! Just spit it out, you're good.
