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00:00:00Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
00:00:30Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence,
00:00:34a quasi-government agency known as the Men in Black
00:00:37supposedly carries out secret operations here on Earth
00:00:40in order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies.
00:00:45Here is one of their stories that never happened
00:00:48from one of their files that doesn't exist.
00:00:541978.
00:00:55The leaders of Zartha flee their planet
00:00:57in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian Serlina.
00:01:03Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring with them
00:01:06their greatest treasure, the Light of Zartha,
00:01:10a cosmic force so powerful
00:01:12that in the wrong hands it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha.
00:01:17The Zarthans' princess, Lorana,
00:01:19beseeched the Men in Black to hide the Light from Serlina.
00:01:23But they had no choice.
00:01:26Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth.
00:01:30However, in an act of galactic bravery,
00:01:33the Men in Black subdued Serlina,
00:01:36allowing the Zarthans to escape
00:01:38so they might hide the Light on another planet.
00:01:43Serlina, released from her captors,
00:01:46vowed that the Light would be hers
00:01:47and that she would destroy any planet
00:01:50that stood in her way.
00:01:54And so, never knowing what happened,
00:01:57the people of Earth were once again
00:01:58saved by a secret society of protectors
00:02:01known as the Men in Black.
00:02:04and that she would kill me,
00:02:25but...
00:02:26Untertitelung des ZDF für funk, 2017
00:02:56Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
00:03:26Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
00:03:56Arby! Arby!
00:04:26Arby! Arby! Arby!
00:04:56Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby!
00:05:26Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Arby! Ar
00:05:56Hey, pretty lady.
00:06:01You two's good.
00:06:06Hey, what the...
00:06:08Yeah, you too.
00:06:26Shh.
00:06:56ARD Text im Auftrag von Funk
00:07:26ARD Text im Auftrag von Funk
00:07:28Jeff, uh, excuse my partner, he's new and he's...
00:07:32ARD Text im Auftrag von Funk
00:07:36Wooo!
00:07:37Kinda stupid
00:07:38Wooo!
00:07:45Wooo!
00:07:46You're getting big, Jeff.
00:07:47Boy, what you been eating?
00:07:48ARD Text im Auftrag von Funk
00:07:53You like jokes, huh?
00:07:57Jeffery!
00:08:09Sweet dreams, big boy.
00:08:11ARD Text im Auftrag von Funk
00:08:14Gerrle
00:08:17You're alone!
00:08:23JAAR
00:08:26GAAAAR
00:08:28WOOOOOO!
00:08:43Ha ha!
00:08:44Ha ha!
00:08:46Sweep!
00:08:46WOOOOOO!
00:08:49WOOOOOO!
00:08:50WOOOOOO!
00:08:52WOOOOOO!
00:08:54Transit Authority, people.
00:08:56Wir haben ein Bug in der Elektrikal-System.
00:09:00Leute, wir haben ein Bug in der Elektrikal-System.
00:09:10Jetzt sind wir jetzt.
00:09:11Nein, nein, nein, sit down.
00:09:13Sit down, es ist nur ein 600-foot-Wyrm.
00:09:19Everybody out before I start knocking heads hier.
00:09:21You get in there, and you put the hammer down on this thing.
00:09:23I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater, and I decide what happens on this train.
00:09:26Oh, oh, you decide.
00:09:28Oh, okay, come here, come here.
00:09:30Look, Larry? Yeah, it's my man, Jeff.
00:09:35Larry just made a decision.
00:09:36Yeah, Larry didn't take his ass, didn't it?
00:09:38Yeah.
00:09:46Don't make me do this, Jeff!
00:09:53Okay.
00:10:1581st Street.
00:10:21Just a second.
00:10:21May I have your attention, please?
00:10:26The city of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill.
00:10:30Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would have been eaten.
00:10:33Because you don't listen.
00:10:34You're ignorant.
00:10:35How a man gonna come bashing through the back of a subway went,
00:10:38that's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers.
00:10:40Oh, we've seen it all.
00:10:41Oh, no, a 600-foot-Wyrm.
00:10:42Save us, Mr. Blackman.
00:10:44Now I come in, I ask you nice, move to the next car.
00:10:46Y'all just sit there like...
00:10:47Thank you for participating in our drill.
00:10:52Hopefully you enjoyed our new smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars.
00:10:56Watch your step, you will have a nice evening.
00:10:58I need the perimeter secured and a clean-up crew at 81st and Central Park West.
00:11:07Revoke Jeff's movement privileges immediately.
00:11:09Have a transfer team escort him back to the Chambers Street Station.
00:11:12And will somebody please check the expiration date on the Unipod Wyrm tranquilizers?
00:11:17I'm sorry, fellas. Station closed. Emergency drill. For your safety.
00:11:26Do you believe these putzes?
00:11:29You're welcome.
00:11:35I know by the book.
00:11:46T, when was the last time we just looked at the stars?
00:11:52This is a test. I can do this.
00:11:57You ever feel like you're alone in the universe?
00:12:00Yes.
00:12:03No.
00:12:07Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie.
00:12:09Really?
00:12:11Thanks.
00:12:13Hey, you're not alone in the universe.
00:12:16Remove the arm.
00:12:17Okay.
00:12:21Please, shut up, Charlie.
00:12:24I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back.
00:12:29You meet a beautiful girl.
00:12:30She's into it.
00:12:31And the best line you can come up with is,
00:12:33want to come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad.
00:12:36Whoa!
00:12:37Who are you?
00:12:38And how did you get in here?
00:12:39You like egg salad?
00:12:40I got your message, where's the light?
00:12:52Here's the deal.
00:12:53You've been all over the universe looking for this light thing,
00:12:54and we found it.
00:12:55You want it, it's going to cost you 50 mil.
00:12:57And here's how it's going to work.
00:12:59First, you get...
00:12:59Where is the light?
00:13:07We couldn't find the light,
00:13:09but we tracked it to a guy who might know where it is.
00:13:12He runs a pizza parlor on Spring Street.
00:13:16Let's go.
00:13:18And wipe your nose, idiot.
00:13:19Oh, good pie.
00:13:28Yeah.
00:13:31Crowded.
00:13:32Well, they got good pie.
00:13:40Man, what is wrong with you?
00:13:41You're getting a neural ice, man.
00:13:43No, I'm not.
00:13:43Yes, you are.
00:13:44You took me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene.
00:13:46You making a scene?
00:13:47Look, let me ask you a question.
00:13:51Why did you join MIB?
00:13:52Six years in the Marines.
00:13:53I like to serve, I like the action, protect the planet.
00:13:56I like being a hero.
00:13:58Then you joined the wrong organization.
00:14:00You ever heard of James Edwards?
00:14:02No.
00:14:04Well, he saved the lives of about 85 people on the subway tonight.
00:14:08No one knows he exists.
00:14:10And if no one knows he exists,
00:14:13how can anyone ever love him?
00:14:17Hey, how long have we been partnering?
00:14:21February.
00:14:22Five months, three days.
00:14:25Started at noon.
00:14:26Nine hours.
00:14:34Get married.
00:14:35Have a bunch of kids.
00:14:36Okay.
00:14:42Excuse me, uh,
00:14:43my buddy's kind of shy,
00:14:44but he thinks you are hot.
00:14:53Here it is.
00:14:54Ta-da!
00:14:55Ben, I don't know what to say.
00:14:57People who look at that plaque years from now,
00:14:59you know what they'll say?
00:15:00Employee is spelled wrong?
00:15:01They're charged by the letter.
00:15:03People say,
00:15:03imagine that big shot like her used to work here.
00:15:08Ben, uh...
00:15:08You deserve it.
00:15:09Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement.
00:15:15Hey, Bruno.
00:15:18Two slices of pepperoni
00:15:20and any information you might have
00:15:22about the light of Zartha.
00:15:23Please, whoever you are,
00:15:24don't hurt me.
00:15:25Where's the light, Ben?
00:15:26I don't know what you're talking about.
00:15:28Please let me down, ma'am.
00:15:30When I put a robber...
00:15:31There.
00:15:41Noise.
00:15:44Kitchen.
00:15:45Oh!
00:15:49You idiots see anything?
00:15:52When blew the door open.
00:15:55Nothing now, the ordinary.
00:15:57For 25 years, I've traveled the universe looking for it.
00:16:01But it never left her, did it, Ben?
00:16:04You kept it here.
00:16:05What are you talking about?
00:16:06I'm running out of time.
00:16:08Where's the light of Zartha?
00:16:09I swear, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:16:11Listen, Zarthan.
00:16:12You hid the light on Earth,
00:16:14and I will find it.
00:16:15Once we have the light,
00:16:16Zartha will be ours.
00:16:18You're too late.
00:16:20Tomorrow at midnight,
00:16:21the light will leave the third planet
00:16:23and be back home.
00:16:25Sorry you made the trip for nothing.
00:16:37Got nothing out of him.
00:16:39Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not.
00:16:40He said third planet.
00:16:41It's here, you idiot.
00:16:43Third rock from the sun.
00:16:44I never got that tone now.
00:16:46It's on Earth,
00:16:48and I know who's going to tell me where it is.
00:16:50Okay.
00:17:16Don't you ever go home?
00:17:17Nope.
00:17:19See you neuralized another partner.
00:17:28B, D,
00:17:29next time you use a fission carbonizer,
00:17:31put a sub-molecular deatomizer on the barrel
00:17:33so it doesn't sound like a cannon.
00:17:34Yes, sir.
00:17:35Hey, get some booties on them things.
00:17:37You're crapping up the floor.
00:17:38I broke it, Dave.
00:17:42Check this prionasian's visa.
00:17:44So the cephalopods have been making counterfeits
00:17:45down at Kinko's on Canal.
00:17:48And will somebody please explain to me
00:17:50why I have a dead tri-cranoslop
00:17:52going through passport control?
00:17:54That'd be my fault, sir.
00:17:55I'm very sorry, sir.
00:17:56Please don't neuralize me, sir.
00:17:58What the hell is that supposed to mean?
00:18:00Nothing, sir.
00:18:00The Arcturus shuttle will be four hours late.
00:18:05Good work in the subway.
00:18:07I remember Jeff when he was yay high.
00:18:09What you got for me?
00:18:11Take a look out that window.
00:18:12You see those guys in black suits?
00:18:13They work here, too.
00:18:14We got it covered.
00:18:15Zed, come on, man.
00:18:16What you got?
00:18:17Listen, dedication's one thing,
00:18:18but if you let it, this job will eat you up
00:18:20and spit you out whole.
00:18:21You want to look like me when you hit 50?
00:18:25Ish?
00:18:27I'll be in the gym if you need me.
00:18:30All right.
00:18:31There was a killing earlier, 177 Spring.
00:18:34Alien on alien.
00:18:35Why don't you take T with you and make a report?
00:18:38Oh, T.
00:18:39Right.
00:18:40What had happened, see, what had happened with T, we, uh...
00:18:43Passports, no rush.
00:18:45Out of hanging, Jay.
00:18:46You have got to stop neuralizing MIB personnel.
00:18:50The dude was crying in the middle of the diner.
00:18:52I hate that.
00:18:54But, hey, and plus, you can't count L.
00:18:57I mean, she wanted to go back to the morgue.
00:18:59I just, I helped her.
00:19:00You need a partner.
00:19:02I'm cool.
00:19:03I'll be his partner.
00:19:06Jay, wait up.
00:19:07I appreciate the shot, man.
00:19:09Thought I'd never get out of that mail room.
00:19:10Lose the suit.
00:19:11Sure thing, partner.
00:19:12No problem, I know.
00:19:13Just going for the look.
00:19:14But if I say so myself,
00:19:15I do find the overall effect very slimming.
00:19:17Not that I've had any problems with the ladies or what have you,
00:19:19it's just that when you get down a brass taxi,
00:19:21whoa, nice sled.
00:19:22Very swank.
00:19:23Heated seats?
00:19:24Sometimes I get hives.
00:19:26And I learned to get along
00:19:28and so you're back
00:19:29from outer space.
00:19:32I just walked in to find you here
00:19:34with that sad look upon your face.
00:19:36I should have changed that stupid lock.
00:19:38I should have made you leave your key.
00:19:40If I'd known for just one second,
00:19:42you'd be back to bother me.
00:19:44Go on, now go.
00:19:46Walk out the door.
00:19:47Frank.
00:19:49Bring your head in this window
00:19:50before I roll it up in there.
00:19:53Got it.
00:19:53Frank!
00:20:03My money, it's missionary.
00:20:05Anyway, I was in the Bower the other night
00:20:07and I meet this great dame.
00:20:08A little thick in the body,
00:20:09but very pretty in the face.
00:20:11Frank, that's just not appealing to me, man.
00:20:12Seriously.
00:20:13Okay, okay.
00:20:14So I say we do the good cop, bad cop thing.
00:20:16You interrogate the witness
00:20:17and I growl.
00:20:19Oh, no, wait.
00:20:20How about we do the good cop, dumb dog thing
00:20:22and you just shut up?
00:20:23You got it, partner.
00:20:25Total silence.
00:20:26Absolute quiet.
00:20:27Not a word out of me.
00:20:30What do we got?
00:20:34What do we got?
00:20:35There's a phosphorus residue
00:20:36on the wall and floor.
00:20:37We've sent samples back to M for analysis.
00:20:39Hey, Jay,
00:20:40zero percent body fat.
00:20:41Funny.
00:20:46Witness.
00:20:47Girl.
00:20:48Saw everything.
00:20:50She's taking it pretty well.
00:20:51No, you listen to me.
00:20:52I don't answer any more of your questions
00:20:54until you answer mine.
00:20:55I want to know what happened here.
00:20:57I think I better handle this one.
00:20:58You got it.
00:20:59Alone.
00:21:00The whole talking dog thing
00:21:01might be a bit much for her right now.
00:21:02What do you want me to do?
00:21:05Sniff around.
00:21:07What?
00:21:09Money.
00:21:10Try taking a deep breath, ma'am.
00:21:12Everything's going to be all right.
00:21:13Just what part of this
00:21:14is she supposed to feel all right about?
00:21:20I'm Agent J.
00:21:21Why don't you tell me
00:21:22exactly what you saw?
00:21:23I saw a two-headed guy
00:21:24and a woman in leather.
00:21:25Caucasian?
00:21:26Gray.
00:21:26With tentacles that were coming
00:21:27out of her hands
00:21:28and she used them to rip...
00:21:29The skin off of his body.
00:21:30Actually, it's not skin.
00:21:31It's a protoplasma polymer
00:21:32similar to the chemical makeup
00:21:34of the gum you find
00:21:35in baseball cards.
00:21:36What was the last thing
00:21:36you ate prior to the incident?
00:21:37Calzone.
00:21:38What time?
00:21:39Lunch.
00:21:40Spinach?
00:21:41Mushroom.
00:21:42Hmm.
00:21:43You need pie.
00:21:45A light.
00:21:46They just kept asking Ben
00:21:47about a light.
00:21:48A light of Zartha
00:21:49or something like that.
00:21:50You okay?
00:21:52An hour ago,
00:21:53a man I've known my whole life
00:21:54vanished right in front of my eyes
00:21:56because of a woman
00:21:57with things coming out
00:21:58of her fingers
00:21:58and a two-headed guy
00:22:00with the IQ of a cannoli.
00:22:01So, yeah,
00:22:02everything's okay.
00:22:03Look, when we're kids,
00:22:07before we're taught
00:22:08how to think
00:22:08or what to believe,
00:22:10our hearts tell us
00:22:11that there is something
00:22:11else out there.
00:22:13Now, I know what I saw.
00:22:15You tell me
00:22:16what I'm supposed to believe.
00:22:23I'm a member
00:22:24of a secret organization
00:22:25that polices
00:22:26and monitors alien activity
00:22:27on planet Earth.
00:22:29Ben was an alien.
00:22:30So were the people
00:22:31that killed him.
00:22:31Now, I don't know
00:22:32why they did it,
00:22:33but I promise you
00:22:34that I'm going to find out.
00:22:36Okay.
00:22:39Okay.
00:22:40Okay.
00:22:43Okay.
00:22:47Oh.
00:22:49Uh, I'm sorry.
00:22:50Uh, I'm going to have to...
00:22:52Kill me.
00:22:53No.
00:22:53No, just a little flash
00:22:56and everything goes back
00:22:57the way it was.
00:22:59After you flash me,
00:23:01if I see you again,
00:23:03will I know it's you?
00:23:04I'll see you.
00:23:09But you won't see me.
00:23:11Must be hard.
00:23:13Must be very lonely.
00:23:14Excuse me.
00:23:32I gotta go.
00:23:35What about the flashy thing?
00:23:36Uh, I'll flash you
00:23:38some other time.
00:23:39You tell the girl you love her?
00:24:06Hey, man,
00:24:07she's a witness
00:24:08to a crime.
00:24:09That's it.
00:24:10Yada, yada.
00:24:11You're attracted.
00:24:12She's not even my species
00:24:13and I'm attracted.
00:24:14I'm supposed to take
00:24:15advice on love
00:24:16from a dude
00:24:17that chases his own ass?
00:24:18Easy, pal.
00:24:19That's canine profiling
00:24:21and I resent it.
00:24:22Hey, Jay, get up.
00:24:41Calm and through.
00:24:42MIB brass.
00:24:43Look sharp.
00:24:44I'm Agent F now,
00:24:45Agent J's new partner.
00:24:47Who are you eyeballing?
00:24:48Frank,
00:24:48school out, dog.
00:24:50Got kids?
00:24:53No.
00:24:54Want them?
00:24:56Ow!
00:24:56Ow!
00:24:57Ow!
00:24:57Ow!
00:24:57Ow!
00:24:57Ow!
00:24:58Ow!
00:24:58Ow!
00:24:59Ow!
00:24:59Ow!
00:24:59Ow!
00:25:00Ow!
00:25:00Ow!
00:25:01Ow!
00:25:01Ow!
00:25:09Talk to me.
00:25:09It's Kylothian,
00:25:11Class C.
00:25:11Selina.
00:25:12Selina.
00:25:13Old girlfriend?
00:25:14She wishes.
00:25:15The witness said
00:25:16that the perps
00:25:16were looking for
00:25:17the light of...
00:25:18Zarsa.
00:25:18Yeah, what is it?
00:25:20This makes no sense.
00:25:21The light's not on Earth.
00:25:22We took care of this
00:25:24a long time ago.
00:25:24Well, obviously not.
00:25:26That's very bad news.
00:25:2825 years ago,
00:25:29the Zarsa came to Earth
00:25:30trying to hide the light
00:25:31from Selina.
00:25:32Well, we don't do that.
00:25:33That's right.
00:25:34That's why I ordered it
00:25:35off the planet.
00:25:35Well, Zad,
00:25:37I ain't got a Kylothian
00:25:39Class C in the middle
00:25:40of my park.
00:25:40Now, you sure this light
00:25:41isn't still here?
00:25:42Positive.
00:25:43I gave the order.
00:25:44My best agent carried it out.
00:25:46It's as if I gave the order
00:25:47to you.
00:25:47Well, let's ask the agent.
00:25:49Can't.
00:25:49Dead?
00:25:50Sort of.
00:25:51He works at the post office.
00:25:54No.
00:25:56If Selina gets the K
00:25:57before we do,
00:25:57he's dead.
00:25:58The Earth's very existence
00:26:00may rest on what K knows.
00:26:02It's too bad
00:26:02you wiped out
00:26:03his entire memory of it.
00:26:04Bring him in.
00:26:06Now.
00:26:07How cool is this?
00:26:09Going to get K,
00:26:10the legend,
00:26:11the go-to guy,
00:26:12your mentor,
00:26:12the guy who taught you
00:26:13everything you know.
00:26:14The greatest agent
00:26:15in MIB history.
00:26:16Frank!
00:26:17Stop talking.
00:26:23Stay.
00:26:24Hey, listen, partner.
00:26:25I may look like a dog,
00:26:27but I only play one here on Earth.
00:26:28Whoa.
00:26:30Whatever.
00:26:30Wipe your mouth.
00:26:31Hey, babe.
00:26:34Good people of Truro, Massachusetts,
00:26:40may I kindly have your attention.
00:26:42In order to facilitate
00:26:43your shipping needs,
00:26:45I'd like to remind you
00:26:46that all packages
00:26:46must be properly wrapped.
00:26:48This one is an example
00:26:49of go home
00:26:50and do it again.
00:26:52I think you know
00:26:52what I mean,
00:26:53Mrs. Bogush.
00:26:54Brown paper
00:26:55and triple twist twine
00:26:57are the preferred media.
00:27:00Thank you for your time.
00:27:03Okay.
00:27:03C.
00:27:04Express mail,
00:27:05two-day air.
00:27:07Kevin.
00:27:09Wow.
00:27:10Kevin,
00:27:11that's funny.
00:27:11You just,
00:27:12you don't have like a Kevin.
00:27:16You don't remember me,
00:27:17but we used to work together.
00:27:19I never worked
00:27:19in a funeral home.
00:27:20There's something
00:27:20I can leave for you, Slick.
00:27:22Okay.
00:27:23Uh, straight to the point.
00:27:25You are a former agent
00:27:26of a top-secret organization
00:27:28that monitors
00:27:28extraterrestrials on Earth.
00:27:30We're the men in black.
00:27:31We have a situation
00:27:31and we need your help.
00:27:33There is a free
00:27:34mental health clinic
00:27:35at the corner of
00:27:36Lilac and East Valley.
00:27:38Next.
00:27:38Excuse me.
00:27:39Hey.
00:27:3920 rugrats stems, please.
00:27:42Elizabeth,
00:27:42the United States Postal Service
00:27:43hasn't quite kept up
00:27:45with today's youth,
00:27:45but I can't offer you
00:27:46some nice, uh,
00:27:47Berlin airliftings.
00:27:48No.
00:27:48Uh, opera legends?
00:27:49No.
00:27:50American Samoa?
00:27:51No.
00:27:51Amish quilts.
00:27:52Sweetie, I'm sorry.
00:27:53Got a world to save here.
00:27:57There was no coma.
00:27:58It was all a cover.
00:27:59Who are you?
00:28:00The question is,
00:28:00who are you?
00:28:01I'm the postmaster
00:28:02of Cruella, Massachusetts,
00:28:03and I'm ordering you
00:28:04to leave these premises.
00:28:05Kay.
00:28:08Is that a decap?
00:28:09Sorry.
00:28:10All right, people,
00:28:11we have a breach.
00:28:11Beryl cordoned off this area.
00:28:13Billings, I'll have
00:28:13a full perimeter wipe down
00:28:14right here, right now.
00:28:15Kay.
00:28:16Beryl.
00:28:16Get them off and escort
00:28:17all non-essential civilian
00:28:18personnel from this side
00:28:19immediately.
00:28:19Yes, sir.
00:28:20Listen to yourself, Kay.
00:28:21Who talks like that?
00:28:23Boop!
00:28:31Ich bin, ich bin, ich bin, ich bin, ich bin.
00:29:01Der war's nicht so gut.
00:29:04Der war's nicht so gut.
00:29:06Warum glaubst du hier so gut?
00:29:08Wer arbeitet hier in der Post-Office?
00:29:10Der ist doch nur ein Allian.
00:29:12Der ist doch auch ein Allian.
00:29:14Der ist doch auch ein Allian.
00:29:18Warum glaubst du hier so gut?
00:29:21Der ist doch alle, die in der Post-Office arbeiten, wie ein Allian.
00:29:26Das war's für heute.
00:29:56wie du nicht wissen, wer du bist.
00:29:58Wie du mehr über was geht, was du da draußen anst.
00:30:01Das ist warum sie dir left, okay?
00:30:04Das ist warum deine Wife left.
00:30:06Okay, ich sage dir was,
00:30:10wenn du dich willst,
00:30:12du gehst mit mir,
00:30:14wenn nicht,
00:30:16Leute warten für ihre T.V. Guides.
00:30:22Think he'll bite?
00:30:26I'm just going for a ride.
00:30:30If things don't add up, it's hasta luego,
00:30:32you know what I mean?
00:30:34Hey, Kay.
00:30:36How's it hanging?
00:30:52Good to see you, Kay.
00:30:54Good to see you too.
00:30:56Whoever you are.
00:30:58Well,
00:31:00let's see what you got here, Chief.
00:31:14Welcome back, Agent K.
00:31:16Agent K.
00:31:18Agent K.
00:31:24Don't mean to bother you, Agent K,
00:31:26but oh my god, you're Agent K.
00:31:28That's what they tell me.
00:31:29This really is an honor, G.
00:31:30Agent G.
00:31:31The legend.
00:31:32The most respected agent in the history of MIB.
00:31:34The most feared human in the universe.
00:31:36In the flesh.
00:31:37Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee sometime.
00:31:38Hear some of the old war stories.
00:31:39Black with two sugars if you're going.
00:31:41An honor.
00:31:42Yeah, I'll take a...
00:31:44My man.
00:31:46How'd it go?
00:31:48Zed, the drill locks are gone and the treaty is signed.
00:31:51Good work.
00:31:52Zed, what about that position you promised me in Men in Black?
00:31:56Still working on the Alien Affirmative Action Program.
00:31:58I'll keep you posted.
00:31:59Wait a minute.
00:32:00That's not what you promised me.
00:32:01You're...
00:32:02You're breaking up.
00:32:03Zed?
00:32:04Can't hear you.
00:32:05Hello?
00:32:06I'll call you back.
00:32:07I can be Agent M.
00:32:08Zed, you...
00:32:09Kay.
00:32:10Think Earth might be in a bad way and you may be the only one that can save it.
00:32:13Well, you know, neither rain, sleet, snow.
00:32:15Good man.
00:32:16Get him armed and up to speed and over to denuralization.
00:32:22Frank?
00:32:23Yeah?
00:32:24I'm gonna need them together on this one.
00:32:25Ouch.
00:32:26I'm looking for a new assistant.
00:32:28It's not field work, but you get better dental.
00:32:30Dental?
00:32:35This is the tech unit.
00:32:36The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room.
00:32:39What's this?
00:32:42Oh, it's lost!
00:32:43Oh, it's lost!
00:32:46Don't touch that!
00:32:48I didn't do anything.
00:32:50Hands in your pockets.
00:32:56Your favorite weapon.
00:33:08That?
00:33:09Yep.
00:33:10Let's go put it on.
00:33:11What?
00:33:12The last suit you'll ever wear.
00:33:14Again.
00:33:16To...
00:33:24The denuralizer.
00:33:27In a few moments, transverse magneto energy will surge through your brain, unlocking information hidden deep and dormant that could hold the key to Earth's very survival.
00:33:35Okay.
00:33:36What's that thing?
00:33:39The denuralizer.
00:33:40Welcome to planet Earth.
00:33:41In your case, there are some rules and regulations.
00:33:42Go out only at night.
00:33:43If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village.
00:33:44And under no circumstances.
00:33:45The left.
00:33:46The left.
00:33:47The left.
00:33:48The left.
00:33:49The left.
00:33:50The left.
00:33:51The left.
00:33:52The left.
00:33:53The left.
00:33:54Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:33:55The second one.
00:33:56Name and planet of origin.
00:34:10Cylana Gorth.
00:34:11Planet Yorn.
00:34:12Collude system.
00:34:13Any fruits or vegetables?
00:34:14Yeah, too.
00:34:15Head to cabbage.
00:34:16Reason for visit?
00:34:17Education.
00:34:18I really want to learn how to be an underwear model.
00:34:20They told me I've got real potential.
00:34:21Hey!
00:34:22Help!
00:34:23Heart attack!
00:34:24Leia!
00:34:25Wake up, champ!
00:34:26Chiefs locked down.
00:34:27COVID-19.
00:34:28Locked down.
00:34:29COVID-19.
00:34:30Locked down.
00:34:31Locked down.
00:34:32COVID-19.
00:34:33Locked down.
00:34:34Locked down.
00:34:35This is not good.
00:34:36This is not good.
00:34:37Breach!
00:34:38We're being firewalled and flushed.
00:34:39Flushed?
00:34:40Yep.
00:34:41Ever been to a water park?
00:34:42No.
00:34:43No.
00:34:44No.
00:34:45No.
00:34:46No.
00:34:47No.
00:34:48No.
00:34:49No.
00:34:50No.
00:34:51No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:53No.
00:34:54No.
00:34:55No.
00:34:56No.
00:34:57No.
00:34:58No.
00:34:59No.
00:35:00No.
00:35:01No.
00:35:02No.
00:35:03No.
00:35:04No.
00:35:05No.
00:35:06Never been to a water park?
00:35:07I don't know.
00:35:34I saved the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars.
00:36:01Cool.
00:36:04Up in.
00:36:05Up in what?
00:36:06Is that on standard?
00:36:11Actually, it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
00:36:17Yeah.
00:36:18Silly little planet could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands.
00:36:25Trapped like rats?
00:36:27In a chiopet?
00:36:29Computer, surveillance MIB.
00:36:31Hmm.
00:36:32MIB's locked down.
00:36:38Computer, magnify.
00:36:39Times ten.
00:36:40Communicator, Frank.
00:36:41Jay.
00:36:42Where are you, partner?
00:36:43We got flush.
00:36:44MIB's code 101.
00:36:45Yeah, who did it?
00:36:46Some hot looking biker chick.
00:36:47Want me to tailor?
00:36:48Stay where you are, I'll keep in touch.
00:36:49Yeah.
00:36:50Stay where I am.
00:36:51Easy for you to say.
00:36:52Have you found Kay?
00:36:53Neuralized.
00:36:54Not active, civilian.
00:36:55What?
00:36:56But he was here to get denuralized.
00:36:57Denuralized?
00:36:58Memory shot, erase.
00:36:59We'll find him.
00:37:00Don't put anything in our ears.
00:37:01What?
00:37:02What do you make of that?
00:37:03I found it in the pocket of my code.
00:37:04Weird, huh?
00:37:05Yeah, you're smiling.
00:37:06Is that denuralizer thing the only one?
00:37:08Only official one.
00:37:09Plans leaked out on the internet a few years ago.
00:37:12Computer, internet.
00:37:13Deneuralizer.
00:37:14Perfect, it's an old friend.
00:37:15Hey Jay, ain't seen you in a while.
00:37:16Yo, did you see me?
00:37:17What?
00:37:18What?
00:37:19What?
00:37:20What?
00:37:21What?
00:37:22What are you making of that?
00:37:23I found it in the pocket of my code.
00:37:24Weird, huh?
00:37:25Yeah, you're smiling.
00:37:26Is that denuralizer thing the only one?
00:37:27Only official one.
00:37:28Plans leaked out on the internet a few years ago.
00:37:29Computer, internet.
00:37:30Deneuralizer.
00:37:31Perfect, it's an old friend.
00:37:42Hey Jay, ain't seen you in a while.
00:37:44Yo, did you peep that drop top thing out front?
00:37:46Oh yeah.
00:37:47My business is banging, dog.
00:37:49You gotta check out the website.
00:37:51It's Jeebsy.
00:37:52Okay, well, he's retired, right?
00:37:55We need the denuralizer.
00:37:57You're kidding.
00:37:58Meter's running, Jeebs.
00:38:03Do you remember me?
00:38:06Can't say I do.
00:38:07I'm pretty good with faces.
00:38:08I think I'd remember that.
00:38:10The great K's a neutral.
00:38:14You're standing between me and my memories, pal.
00:38:16Do you have this denuralizer thing or not?
00:38:18No.
00:38:21Brush out.
00:38:24Can't help you.
00:38:27Don't got it.
00:38:28Even if I did.
00:38:38If it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off.
00:38:41If it does work, I brought back K, who just for the fun of it blows my head off.
00:38:45So, what's my incentive?
00:38:48Okay, homie.
00:38:49I keep it downstairs next to the snowblowers.
00:38:55Alien prisoners released, armed, and ready for your orders.
00:38:59Prisoners of MIB, the scum of the universe.
00:39:02Well, now it's the scum's turn.
00:39:04See, I'm in a bit of a jam, so I'm gonna make this simple.
00:39:07I need the light of Zartha, and K knows where it is.
00:39:10So, whoever brings K to me gets Earth.
00:39:14Start by finding a denuralizer they're gonna want to get his memory back.
00:39:17Check.
00:39:20Now.
00:39:25Jara, good to see you.
00:39:26Good to see you.
00:39:31Okay.
00:39:32That should do it.
00:39:33Now, if I could have your attention for a brief moment while we go over the safety procedures.
00:39:38Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.
00:39:40And if at any point during the ride you become disoriented, there's nothing we can do about it.
00:39:47Have you removed all your jewelry?
00:39:52Are you allergic to shellfish?
00:39:53Jeeves!
00:39:54Right then.
00:39:55Smoke them if you got them.
00:40:04Have you ever used this thing before?
00:40:05I used the exhaust ones to make some hot air popcorn.
00:40:07That's about it.
00:40:09Okay!
00:40:10Let's make it happen, Jack!
00:40:23Hmm
00:40:44Hmm...
00:40:53Perfect!
00:41:08Das ist perfekt.
00:41:22Ihr ist zurück.
00:41:24Nein.
00:41:26Wenn ihr wisst, dass es sein wird, dass es sein wird?
00:41:28Es ist zurück.
00:41:30Real nice.
00:41:32Okay, das ist das letzte Mal, dass ich ein Freund habe.
00:41:36Okay.
00:41:38Okay.
00:41:40Okay, wait.
00:41:42I never got the updated software.
00:41:44Still working off the 6.0.
00:41:46Your brain needs to reboot.
00:41:48Give it a minute.
00:41:50Okay.
00:41:52Bottom of my heart, Jay.
00:41:54I'm really sorry.
00:41:56I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.
00:41:58All those years of loyalty and trust.
00:42:00Respect for one another.
00:42:04Right over there!
00:42:06Where's Kay?
00:42:08He's not here!
00:42:10Kay is officially retired.
00:42:11I'm his trigger-happy replacement.
00:42:12Something I can do for you gentlemen?
00:42:13Oh, great.
00:42:14Right in the pie hole.
00:42:15Now nothing's gonna taste right.
00:42:17Lower your weapon.
00:42:18No.
00:42:25Jay, how are you, Boo Boo?
00:42:27Look, these guys really need Kay.
00:42:29He's a neutral.
00:42:30Tell me something we don't know.
00:42:32Achoo!
00:42:33I am so sorry.
00:42:34God bless you.
00:42:35Thank you.
00:42:36Look, if I don't bring Kay back to MIB, Serlina's gonna kick my ass.
00:42:39Now where is he?
00:42:40Where's who?
00:42:41You don't look too good.
00:42:42Ah!
00:42:43And you look like crap.
00:42:44I take that back.
00:42:45He looked like crap.
00:42:46I take that back.
00:42:47He looked like crap.
00:42:48Bend him!
00:42:49Bend him!
00:42:50Oh damn.
00:42:51Wait no, don't bend him.
00:42:52Oh.
00:42:53I take that back. He looked like crap.
00:42:59Bend him!
00:43:00Bend him?
00:43:01Oh, damn. Wait, nah, don't bend him.
00:43:23Damn decent of you.
00:43:44Don't mention it.
00:43:53I think I'm going to be sick.
00:44:07You don't want to do that.
00:44:09Fellas, you know what? I think he's telling the truth.
00:44:11He's no good to us.
00:44:15Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
00:44:17Penny or I?
00:44:21Go for the mosh tendrils.
00:44:23Okay, he's a Balcinian.
00:44:33Looks like you were in a pretty tight spot, kid.
00:44:35I had this one handled.
00:44:36You need a partner.
00:44:37I had one.
00:44:37Gee, I got you tough for him.
00:44:38I'm back.
00:44:39You got some dust on your coat.
00:44:41So, you got your memory back?
00:44:42Yeah.
00:44:43What the hell is going on?
00:44:44Don't know.
00:44:45Okay.
00:44:46What is the light of Xartha?
00:44:47Never heard of it.
00:44:48Cool.
00:44:49Your memory's back.
00:44:53How come you don't remember the light of Xartha?
00:44:55I must have neuralized myself in order to keep the information from myself.
00:44:58Ah, good plan.
00:44:59Wait, wait, man.
00:45:00What you doing?
00:45:00I always do the driving.
00:45:01Wait, no.
00:45:02Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:45:03I remember that.
00:45:04What you remember is you used to drive that old busted joint.
00:45:07See, I drive the new hotness.
00:45:10Old busted hotness.
00:45:25Selina, please.
00:45:27Been a long time, Zed.
00:45:29I'm just touched.
00:45:30You remembered me.
00:45:31Makes me fuzzy all over.
00:45:33Never forget a pretty whatever you are.
00:45:38Zed.
00:45:39Zed, look at you.
00:45:4225 years in, you're still just such a looker.
00:45:46Cut out meat and dairy.
00:45:47And look at you.
00:45:48Still a pile of squirmy crap in a different wrapper.
00:45:51Oh, so feisty.
00:45:53Look, Zed, we both need the same thing.
00:45:56Good.
00:45:58Bring him in.
00:46:00Don't think so.
00:46:01Have we forgotten the little secret of the light?
00:46:04If it's not off Earth by midnight, it self-destructs,
00:46:06annihilating your little planet.
00:46:08Here's the deal.
00:46:09I lose, you lose.
00:46:10I win.
00:46:11Everything keeps spinning.
00:46:13You don't want the light on Earth any more than I do.
00:46:20All right, Selina.
00:46:23You win.
00:46:26Zed?
00:46:27Is that you?
00:46:28I can be Agent M.
00:46:30Zed.
00:46:31Hello?
00:46:42So feisty.
00:46:49Fastest way back to MIB.
00:46:50Take this right on 39th.
00:46:51Right here.
00:46:53Right.
00:46:56Next right on 37th.
00:46:58Right here.
00:46:5930th.
00:46:5930th.
00:47:00Right.
00:47:01We're not going back to MIB.
00:47:03Headquarters has been breached, man.
00:47:04We need to bust in there and peel some caps and split some wigs up in that joint.
00:47:08Not ready.
00:47:08Look, you've been out for five years and that's a long time in this game.
00:47:14I understand that you're a little scared.
00:47:15I'm going to keep it real with you.
00:47:16I'm a little scared too.
00:47:17I'm not scared.
00:47:18Me neither.
00:47:20I just thought we was bonding.
00:47:23Five years, you're still acting like a rookie, splitting wigs and stepping on caps.
00:47:27No wonder Zed brought me back.
00:47:28What?
00:47:29Hey, Zed brought you back because you messed up.
00:47:31This attitude of yours makes for a very stressful working environment.
00:47:34Man, tell it to the head.
00:47:36Stressful work environment is what we got back at MIB right now.
00:47:39Exactly.
00:47:39Serlina thinks I know where the light is.
00:47:40She broke into MIB in order to lure me back.
00:47:43Into a trap.
00:47:45Which is exactly why we don't need to be just busting in there, man.
00:47:49We got to have a plan.
00:47:50Where are we going?
00:47:50Scene of the crime?
00:47:51You're the boss.
00:47:52Yeah, scene of the crime.
00:47:54That's a left, though.
00:47:58Here it is.
00:47:59I'll contact the eyewitness.
00:48:00We can talk to her.
00:48:01Things have changed.
00:48:02We need to neuralize all the witnesses.
00:48:03See, I had, um...
00:48:04Originally, I had, um...
00:48:07No, I, um...
00:48:09I was going to, uh...
00:48:11I interrogated her.
00:48:13Then you neuralized her.
00:48:14What do you mean?
00:48:15What I mean is MIB procedural code 773-I-1 clearly states that all civilian personnel...
00:48:20No!
00:48:21Drop that weapon!
00:48:22No, no, no!
00:48:23Oh, Jay, I'm sorry.
00:48:24No, no, no.
00:48:25I'm fine.
00:48:26It's my fault.
00:48:26I probably...
00:48:27Uh, Kay, my partner, Laura, the witness.
00:48:30Pleasure.
00:48:33Jay, thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night.
00:48:36That was really sweet.
00:48:37MIB procedural code 594-B states that MIB personnel shall never be used for any other purpose.
00:48:43Ben!
00:48:44The Tsarathan was vaporized here, so I'm assuming that the perp was over in this direction.
00:48:49Ben, was he about 5'7 portly fellow thinning hair?
00:48:53You knew him?
00:48:53Nope.
00:48:55Never seen him before in my life.
00:48:56That was a hell of a fish.
00:49:01Wait a minute.
00:49:08You left yourself clues.
00:49:09Yeah, in case I had to be deneuralized because my replacement couldn't handle the situation.
00:49:14Oh, well, if the joker that had gotten deneuralized hadn't created the situation in the first place...
00:49:19Boys.
00:49:22All right.
00:49:23You pointing at something.
00:49:24Excuse me.
00:49:32The astronaut.
00:49:35Jay.
00:49:37Okay.
00:49:38All right, now.
00:49:38He's pointing.
00:49:39He's like...
00:49:40He like...
00:49:43Who would stack pizza boxes like this?
00:49:46A pizza box stacker that's not stacking pizza boxes.
00:49:48He's leaving clues.
00:49:50It's an arrow.
00:49:51Dang.
00:49:56You're slowing me down, Slick.
00:49:58Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets right here.
00:50:03Anchovy fillets and virgin olive oil.
00:50:09I hope I'm not slowing you down.
00:50:12Good work, partner.
00:50:14Yeah.
00:50:15Now we got to figure out where it goes.
00:50:17I know where it goes.
00:50:18Whoa.
00:50:18No.
00:50:19Not yet.
00:50:20M-I-B procedural code 773 clearly states...
00:50:23I know the code, Kay.
00:50:24But no, she might be important to me.
00:50:27But to us.
00:50:27Well, for help.
00:50:28To help us later.
00:50:30Well, she can't stay here.
00:50:31They'll be back.
00:50:35You can stay with some friends of mine.
00:50:37People like you.
00:50:39Kind of.
00:50:41Jay!
00:50:41Hey, what's happening, fellas?
00:50:46M-I-B is code 101.
00:50:47101?
00:50:48Yeah, listen, I need your help.
00:50:51This is Laura.
00:50:52Laura!
00:50:52Hey, let's see you guys.
00:50:54Easy, easy.
00:50:55They're worms.
00:50:57Once you go worm, that's what you'll yearn.
00:51:00Yeah!
00:51:01That's what they say.
00:51:02Angels.
00:51:03I've dated worse.
00:51:04They're under suspension right now for stealing from the duty-free shop.
00:51:08Uh, we were free.
00:51:09Ah!
00:51:09Since we're a phobic.
00:51:11Yay!
00:51:11You're back!
00:51:12Hey, somebody said you were dead.
00:51:13You look good.
00:51:14We're double-part.
00:51:14Yeah.
00:51:15Laura's very important to me.
00:51:17To us.
00:51:18To the stuff, me and you, man.
00:51:19The stuff we're doing.
00:51:22I'm going to ask you guys to keep an eye on her for me.
00:51:24I keep both of them on her.
00:51:25No problem.
00:51:27Hey, hey, hey!
00:51:28Why don't you sit right here?
00:51:30Oh, yeah, like you got a shot.
00:51:32Hey, shut up!
00:51:33My communicator, in case you need it.
00:51:40Oh!
00:51:42Nice room.
00:51:44Okay.
00:51:44Um, oh, uh, just watch out for Nebel.
00:51:49Which one's Nebel?
00:51:50Um, he's...
00:51:51Which one of y'all is Nebel?
00:51:54Yo, mama!
00:51:55Ah, here, right here.
00:51:56Um, it's fine.
00:51:58Everything straight is safe.
00:51:59Um, don't fall asleep.
00:52:00Twisted!
00:52:03Twisted!
00:52:04Yeah, I gotta watch you.
00:52:07Uh, Kay, can you run over your plan with me one more time?
00:52:10Because I'm struggling with it.
00:52:12You neuralized away any memory of the light of Zartha,
00:52:14but left yourself clues in case you had to come back.
00:52:16Right.
00:52:17Photo in an old suit that was pointing to a key
00:52:19hanging on a nail in a pizzeria,
00:52:20and the key opens a locker at Grand Central.
00:52:22Right.
00:52:22And I suppose when we open a locker, we'll find another clue.
00:52:25That's the plan.
00:52:25I like to keep my enemies confused.
00:52:31We all confused, Kay.
00:52:35You're not gonna slow me down on this, are you?
00:52:36Slow you down?
00:52:37Whose brain's working on outdated software?
00:52:39Why don't you go grab us some coffee while I do this?
00:52:42Oh, sure thing.
00:52:42How you take it?
00:52:43Black, a couple cubes that kiss my ass?
00:52:45I don't know what's in there.
00:52:46I don't want you to get hurt, so step back.
00:52:48Hey, Kay, for real, man, open the damn locker.
00:52:51You are the man who would be king of the train locker.
00:53:10Oh, good and gentle town folk of Locker C-18.
00:53:15Did I leave anything here?
00:53:17Yes, the timekeeper.
00:53:18You left it to illuminate our streets and our hearts.
00:53:22I've been looking everywhere for that watch.
00:53:24Oh, merciful one, the clock tower.
00:53:26No, no, I got y'all.
00:53:27I got y'all.
00:53:28It's cool.
00:53:28It's cool.
00:53:29Here, hey, check this out.
00:53:30Titanium case waterproofed over 300 meters.
00:53:33That's banging, right?
00:53:35Who are you, stranger?
00:53:37Jay.
00:53:37Hmm.
00:53:39All hail Jay.
00:53:40All hail Jay.
00:53:41All hail Jay.
00:53:42And we'll see.
00:53:43Oh, merciful Jay, the key for real.
00:53:45Come on.
00:53:46Hey.
00:53:46All hail Jay.
00:53:47Wait.
00:53:48Come in.
00:53:48The tablet.
00:53:49The tablet.
00:53:50The tablet.
00:53:51The tablet.
00:53:52The tablet.
00:53:53We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world.
00:53:57Pass it on to others, so that day two may be enlightened.
00:54:00Be kind.
00:54:01Rewind.
00:54:02Go back and reconcile your past in order to move tranquilly into your future.
00:54:07Two for one, every Wednesday.
00:54:09Give twice as much as ye receive on the most sacred of days, every Wednesday.
00:54:14Large adult entertainment section in the back.
00:54:17Large adult entertainment section in the back.
00:54:22That's just nasty.
00:54:24What's up with the video card?
00:54:26I don't know.
00:54:26Why'd you leave the watch?
00:54:28You remind me.
00:54:28Of what?
00:54:29Can't remember.
00:54:30Guess.
00:54:31I guess we have till midnight.
00:54:32That's 59 minutes and 37 seconds to figure it out.
00:54:37All right, look.
00:54:38So, here's an idea.
00:54:39How about we stop chasing all these butt backwards clues, go get a couple fission carbonizers,
00:54:44and get our headquarters back.
00:54:46It's all about to make sense, kid.
00:54:48Now, is this card valid?
00:54:51This card hasn't been used in years, before I was born.
00:54:54I've been away on business.
00:54:56Billions of frequent flyer miles.
00:54:57Try and use them.
00:54:58I always wanted to go to Cambodia.
00:55:00You can get a lobster dinner there for like a dollar.
00:55:03And the airline said they black out holidays.
00:55:05You have to stay over a weekend.
00:55:06It's a conspiracy, I'm sure.
00:55:07I mean, why would somebody...
00:55:08Can you tell us anything about the account?
00:55:11Only that you never checked out a tape.
00:55:13You reserved one once, but you never picked it up.
00:55:17Hey, Newton!
00:55:18There's a huge rat in the toilet.
00:55:20It's all stopped up, so you're gonna have to pee in this city.
00:55:27Still think I'm paranoid?
00:55:29Yeah.
00:55:31Gentlemen, my name is Newton.
00:55:33I run the place.
00:55:35Seen any aliens lately?
00:55:37You need professional help, son.
00:55:38He's getting it.
00:55:39It's not working.
00:55:41Okay, so, new case, huh?
00:55:43Huh.
00:55:43Episode 27.
00:55:45Light of Zartha.
00:55:47Got it.
00:55:49Jara, it's just a sin that they've kept a genius like you locked away.
00:55:53Their Eagle Scout, Agent J, caught me siphoning the Earth's ozone to sell on the black market.
00:55:57They're very touchy about this global warming thing.
00:55:59Look, I need a spacecraft.
00:56:01Something that can travel 300 times the speed of light.
00:56:04Do it, I'll give you whatever you want.
00:56:05Give me J.
00:56:06We'll call it even.
00:56:07Groovy.
00:56:08You've got till midnight.
00:56:10Gatbot, I got a little something special for you.
00:56:18Newton, Newton, is that you?
00:56:26Yes, Mom, I'm up here with some friends.
00:56:29I want to have your baby.
00:56:31Would you like some mini pizza?
00:56:34You guys want some mini pizzas?
00:56:36They're good.
00:56:38You like mini bagels with pizza stuff on them?
00:56:40She'll put a little Fontina cheese on.
00:56:43You know, she has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on.
00:56:52No thanks, we're cool.
00:56:57Over here.
00:56:58This is it.
00:57:04Mmm, finally some hard evidence.
00:57:06Yes.
00:57:07Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question.
00:57:12What's up with anal probing?
00:57:14I mean, aliens travel billions of light years just to check out our...
00:57:18Boy, move.
00:57:20Okay.
00:57:21Just a question.
00:57:23Here is one of their stories that never happened from one of their files that doesn't exist.
00:57:331978.
00:57:35Devastating war of Xartha had raged on for 50 years.
00:57:39Looks like Spielberg's work.
00:57:40But the Xarthans had a great treasure.
00:57:43The light of Xartha.
00:57:44A source of power so awesome.
00:57:46It alone could mean victory and restoration for the Xarthans or complete annihilation if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians.
00:57:56A group of Xarthans made the journey, led by the Keeper of the Light.
00:58:01Lorana.
00:58:02Princess Lorana.
00:58:05Lorana beseeched the men in black to help her hide the light on Earth, but they could not intervene.
00:58:12No.
00:58:14It was time.
00:58:15It was raining.
00:58:19You've been very wise.
00:58:21Case, please.
00:58:23If Serlina takes the light, it's the end of our world.
00:58:26Madam Ambassador, if we extend protection for the light beyond the Earth, we put the Earth itself in jeopardy.
00:58:31We have no choice.
00:58:32We must remain neutral.
00:58:33Where is it?
00:58:34Where...
00:58:35We're neutral, remember?
00:58:36If you want it, go get it.
00:58:38Go get it.
00:58:39Go get it.
00:58:39Go get it.
00:58:40Go get it.
00:58:42Serlina!
00:58:43Go get it.
00:58:58Und so, never knowing it happened, the people of Earth
00:59:17were once again saved by a secret society of protectors.
00:59:23I shouldn't have.
00:59:25You never sent it off the planet.
00:59:28You hid it here.
00:59:32The worm guys.
00:59:38Are you one of Newton's friends from group therapy?
00:59:41Oh, yes, ma'am, I am.
00:59:42Will you look here, please?
00:59:43Would you like some mini pieces?
00:59:46I know I like it.
00:59:49Okay.
00:59:51First, get some contact lenses, because joints look like they can pick up cable.
00:59:55Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner, pay more than a dollar.
01:00:00Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, move your bum ass out of your mom's house.
01:00:07Let's go, bud.
01:00:07Boy, you like 40 years old.
01:00:09Agent J?
01:00:10All right.
01:00:11All right.
01:00:12All right.
01:00:13All right.
01:00:14Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or men in black.
01:00:17You want to go to Cambodia?
01:00:23Yeah.
01:00:24Hey, Mom.
01:00:28Communicator, Jay.
01:00:31Laura, it's me.
01:00:33Jay, we're playing Twister.
01:00:35What's up, Jay?
01:00:36Hey, quit touching my butt.
01:00:39Sorry, I thought it was your face.
01:00:40They're really good at this.
01:00:42They don't have any spines.
01:00:44Oh, they were telling me about Oprah from Chicago.
01:00:47Maybe landed in Chicago.
01:00:51Are you wearing a bracelet?
01:00:53Yeah.
01:00:54Is it glowing?
01:00:55It's never done that before.
01:01:01We're on our way.
01:01:03Communicator, Frank.
01:01:05Frank, get down to sub-control level C. Deactivate the lockdown.
01:01:09We're on our way to the worm, guys.
01:01:10We found the light.
01:01:11Got it, Jay.
01:01:12Scrad!
01:01:14Bitch.
01:01:15Why didn't you say I love you?
01:01:17He's a dog.
01:01:18I don't even like him.
01:01:18No, no, not a girl.
01:01:19You're sweet on her.
01:01:21A.K.
01:01:22That's why you didn't neuralize her.
01:01:23You got emotionally involved.
01:01:25Yeah, like you did with Lerana?
01:01:26I put the entire planet in danger because I got emotionally involved.
01:01:30I don't want to see you making my mistakes.
01:01:33Whatever, man.
01:01:39Lara.
01:01:45Oi.
01:01:48Damn.
01:01:48That's going to leave a scar.
01:02:00Oh, the puato fupa.
01:02:02Where's Lara?
01:02:02MIB headquarters.
01:02:04Some dumb two-headed guy.
01:02:05They got the bracelet?
01:02:07We got 39 minutes.
01:02:08You guys, um, pour yourself together.
01:02:13Damn.
01:02:13Oh, that's, that's feeling better.
01:02:17Hey, hey guys, wait a minute.
01:02:18Hey, hold on.
01:02:19Let me grab my drink.
01:02:20Serlina has the bracelet.
01:02:22Why'd she take Lara?
01:02:23She also wants me.
01:02:24What's the book say about this one?
01:02:25We're off book.
01:02:26I say we split some wigs.
01:02:27We need some wigs splitting weapons.
01:02:29Got them.
01:02:35Ah, Pawpaw's coming to visit me.
01:02:37Hello, Pawpaw.
01:02:38Pawpaw and Zuzu love to see what's going on in the garden.
01:02:41Don't worry about a thing, folks.
01:02:43I used to live here.
01:02:43Came out to pick up a few things.
01:02:50Nice place.
01:02:54Wah.
01:02:56Whee.
01:02:59Yah!
01:03:04See ya.
01:03:11You did not see a room full of shiny weapons.
01:03:17You did not see four alien nightcrawlers.
01:03:19You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives.
01:03:21Which could be the next 27 or 28 minutes,
01:03:23so y'all should get to loving and cherishing.
01:03:25Oh, and she can stay up as late as she want
01:03:27and have cookies and candy and cakes and junk and stuff.
01:03:29Four minutes to launch.
01:03:44Four minutes to launch.
01:03:46Your ship is ready.
01:03:48Good.
01:03:48Send it to Kyloth now.
01:03:54You ready, guys?
01:03:55Lock and load, baby.
01:03:57You ready, kid?
01:03:59Kid?
01:03:59You know why you were away licking stamps?
01:04:01I saved the world from a Kree-Lon invasion.
01:04:03Kree-Lons are the Backstreet Boys of the universe.
01:04:05What do they do?
01:04:05Throw snowballs at you?
01:04:08You know what you're doing.
01:04:09Yep.
01:04:09I'm about to attack one of the most feared aliens in the universe
01:04:12with four worms and a mailman.
01:04:14Let's make it hot.
01:04:15No, no.
01:04:16Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:04:18Ah!
01:04:23Cold!
01:04:24101!
01:04:25Lockdown!
01:04:25I know, I know.
01:04:26The building is pressurized.
01:04:28Nothing in, nothing out.
01:04:29I knew that!
01:04:30Yeah, you knew that.
01:04:31Front center work.
01:04:32You got it.
01:04:40It's about time you guys got here.
01:04:42That pretty lady in there is causing all kinds of hell.
01:04:45Oh, yummy.
01:05:07Someone I need to eat.
01:05:09Get to the launch pad on the roof.
01:05:10The bracelet shows the departure point,
01:05:12and no matter what happens,
01:05:12do not come back for me.
01:05:14That's an order.
01:05:14What do you mean?
01:05:15Do not come back for me.
01:05:22Warm guys, give me some cover fire.
01:05:23I'm too scared.
01:05:25Can't move.
01:05:26Go.
01:05:34Go.
01:05:35Go!
01:05:36Go!
01:05:48Lember!
01:05:49Go to the sub-control panel, 7R Delta.
01:05:51Shut off all the power to the launch pad so they can't take off.
01:05:54Can't!
01:05:55Too scared!
01:05:57Oh!
01:05:58That way!
01:05:59Away from the bullet.
01:06:00No problem!
01:06:03No!
01:06:04No!
01:06:17Nice to see you again, K.
01:06:23Three minutes to launch.
01:06:24Jay!
01:06:25Three minutes to launch.
01:06:28Hello, Jay. Long time.
01:06:29Jarrah, what's up, man?
01:06:31Wow, you look great.
01:06:32What's it been, five years?
01:06:33In 42 days, thanks to you.
01:06:34You count every one when you're locked away like a primate.
01:06:36Well, you shouldn't have been trying to steal our ozone.
01:06:39Beat her in one minute, sweetie.
01:06:42Over our dead titanium bodies.
01:06:45Two minutes.
01:06:46Uh, let's play this one by ear.
01:06:58I should have vaporized you when I had the chance.
01:07:00You really did love Lorana.
01:07:01You really did love Lorana.
01:07:02Didn't you, Kathy?
01:07:03You silly little man.
01:07:05You silly little man.
01:07:06Yeah!
01:07:07Yeah!
01:07:08Oh!
01:07:09Ow!
01:07:10I'm coming!
01:07:11Ow!
01:07:12Ah!
01:07:13Ah!
01:07:14Ah!
01:07:15Ah!
01:07:16Ah!
01:07:17Ah!
01:07:18Ah!
01:07:19Ah!
01:07:20Two minutes to launch.
01:07:39Just go, I'll be fine.
01:07:41What you talking about, girl? I'm winning.
01:07:44Jarrah, you are under arrest for being that ugly and for making that many copies.
01:07:50Now, surrender. I want him in pieces.
01:07:55Jarrah Jr. is going, going.
01:08:13Wrecked him. Damn near killed him.
01:08:16Never get tired of that one, I'll say.
01:08:18Guys, where do we shut off the power?
01:08:19Oh, I don't know.
01:08:20Whatever.
01:08:26Marl, I'm fine. I'll be there in just a minute.
01:08:29No, he won't.
01:08:35Uh-huh. Down to one now, Jarrah.
01:08:38Thirty seconds to launch.
01:08:49Fifteen seconds to launch.
01:08:56Fifteen seconds to launch.
01:09:04Ten seconds to launch.
01:09:06Eight.
01:09:08Seven.
01:09:09Six.
01:09:11Five.
01:09:12Four.
01:09:13Three.
01:09:15Two.
01:09:15Launch.
01:09:18Launch. Terminated.
01:09:20What do you mean, just leave you? I never run out on a fight.
01:09:22He took your gun.
01:09:23Yeah?
01:09:23Cracked you in the head.
01:09:24And?
01:09:25Slammed you across the room.
01:09:26Half the time you were on your back.
01:09:29That's how I fight.
01:09:30You've lost, you insignificant speck.
01:09:34You've wasted 25 years of my time, and for what?
01:09:37The complete and total annihilation of Zartha.
01:09:40All because you went mushy.
01:09:41I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy Kylofian invertebrate.
01:09:46Oh, what are you going to do to stop me?
01:09:48Not me.
01:09:49Him.
01:09:49Your flight's been canceled.
01:10:00Shut down power, shut down power.
01:10:02Buttons, buttons.
01:10:03I'm guessing, uh...
01:10:05Yeah.
01:10:09Worms!
01:10:09Sorry.
01:10:15Give me the bracelet.
01:10:16I'm going with you.
01:10:17Please give me the bracelet.
01:10:18Everybody in the car.
01:10:19I don't think she's...
01:10:19Everybody.
01:10:34You can't believe this charm bracelet is what everybody's been after.
01:10:37Yeah, you'd be surprised how often there's something small like that.
01:10:39It's not the light.
01:10:41It tells us the departure point.
01:10:42What?
01:10:43We don't get to that departure point in 11 minutes and 15 seconds.
01:10:46That bracelet's going to go nuclear and destroy all life on Earth.
01:10:48What?
01:10:51Hello.
01:10:53Wait, K, no.
01:10:53I know what I'm doing.
01:10:54K, no!
01:10:55I know what I'm doing.
01:11:10Damn.
01:11:13Modified to hyperspeed.
01:11:15Seatbelts.
01:11:16Was ist das?
01:11:20At hyper-speed, you have to use the navigational star.
01:11:22Okay.
01:11:28Toggle switches for the left and right ailerons.
01:11:30Use the joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder.
01:11:32Okay.
01:11:37I just want you to know.
01:11:39You know what? Hold on to that for me for one second.
01:11:41Computer, worms.
01:11:47So I said, listen, bitch.
01:11:49If you don't want me to kick your skin, you don't die at ass.
01:11:52Turn around and exit the plant.
01:11:54Right. Where are you?
01:11:56Main hall. Egg display.
01:11:58Okay. Lost control. We're taking fire.
01:11:59K, push the red button.
01:12:01Computer at MIB can lock on and destroy Bogey.
01:12:03I'll walk you through it.
01:12:07Jay, Frank.
01:12:08Frank, you were the best armed partner a Romulian could ever have.
01:12:13Godspeed.
01:12:15Frank! Frank! Frank!
01:12:17Okay, here we go. Automatic pilot.
01:12:22It is not automatic piloting.
01:12:24He doesn't operate at hyper-speed.
01:12:25I could really use a steering wheel here.
01:12:27We don't have no damn steering wheel.
01:12:28This is what we got.
01:12:32Didn't your mother ever give you a Game Boy?
01:12:33What is a Game Boy?
01:12:35You know what? Move. Move!
01:12:36Oh, okay.
01:12:36Oh, hey. That is not the navigational stop.
01:12:40Ah, it can't.
01:12:42Ah!
01:12:52Okay, straight down.
01:12:59Idiots.
01:12:59Subway may not be the best place to lose her.
01:13:12Shh.
01:13:15Where is he?
01:13:16He?
01:13:17Jeff.
01:13:18Hang on!
01:13:21Oops.
01:13:23Teeth.
01:13:24Spider-Man, to be honest.
01:13:28Hey!
01:13:32�'s the evening.
01:13:40Please.
01:13:42Hey!
01:13:43Let's go.
01:13:43I haven't watched the movie.
01:13:46Hey!
01:13:47Go on!
01:13:51Try to be yourionifert.
01:13:51Ich bin aus der Zeit, K. Wo ist die Licht?
01:14:02Hier.
01:14:05Was?
01:14:05Was? Ich bin die Licht?
01:14:08Nein, keine Ahnung.
01:14:09Du hast einen Planeten zu retten, Laura.
01:14:11Du hast mich mit jemandem. Ich arbeite part-time in einer Pizzeria.
01:14:14Two Tage ago, ich war ein Post-Office in Trudeville, Mass.
01:14:16Du bist die du bist.
01:14:17Laura, du bist die Licht, die leader von deinen Menschen, der spirit und der Hoffnung.
01:14:24Der Macht ist in dir, um zu retten die Planeten zu retten.
01:14:27Ich habe dir gebeten, bis es dein Zeitpunkt ist.
01:14:30Ihr Zeitpunkt ist jetzt.
01:14:32Du hast mich auf die Welt zu retten.
01:14:34Du hast mich auf die Welt zu retten.
01:14:38Nein, ich kann nicht sein.
01:14:39Du kennst alles bevor sie passieren.
01:14:40Ich bin Libra.
01:14:41Du bist Zarthan.
01:14:42Wenn du dich schmerzt, es immer scheint zu regnen.
01:14:45Well, lots of people get sad when it rains.
01:14:47It rains because you're sad, baby.
01:15:15It's not fair.
01:15:44It never is.
01:15:54We are who we are.
01:15:55Even if we sometimes forget.
01:16:07Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you.
01:16:10Get back in the subway right now.
01:16:12That's not good.
01:16:22Wait!
01:16:22No!
01:16:25Hey!
01:16:26I cannot if it's not strongly enough how much we need you on that transport, Princess.
01:16:32Laura!
01:16:33You have to go!
01:16:34Oh, jeez.
01:16:36Go!
01:16:37He's fine.
01:16:40He does this all the time.
01:16:42Nope!
01:16:43About the latest smackdown on your candy ass.
01:16:50Laura!
01:16:50It's your destiny!
01:16:52I was talking!
01:16:53Hey!
01:16:53Hey!
01:16:56No biting!
01:16:59If you don't go, we all die.
01:17:04It does as beautiful as your mother.
01:17:06Okay, a little help.
01:17:28Okay.
01:17:31Might I suggest a bigger gun?
01:17:36Yeah.
01:17:38Run!
01:17:39Run!
01:17:40Run!
01:18:00Ed?
01:18:01Yeah.
01:18:02Thanks for bringing me back.
01:18:04No problem.
01:18:06Why didn't you tell me?
01:18:08Would you have let her go?
01:18:10What's it like on the outside?
01:18:12You know, not doing this every day?
01:18:14It's nice.
01:18:15Sleep late on the weekends.
01:18:16Watch the Weather Channel.
01:18:18Watch the Weather Channel.
01:18:20I did miss this city.
01:18:22I did miss this city.
01:18:26So, Lara is Princess Lorana's daughter.
01:18:28Did y'all...
01:18:30Did y'all...
01:18:31It might be a mess.
01:18:32Let's go.
01:18:33Let's go.
01:18:34Let's go.
01:18:35Let's go.
01:18:36Man, thousands of people in New York and New Jersey just saw our little event.
01:18:40Plan needs to be thought out.
01:18:42Plan needs to be cool.
01:18:44But, you know what you're doing.
01:18:45I do.
01:18:46I do.
01:18:47I do.
01:18:48I'll get you trained again.
01:18:49You know what?
01:18:50I did.
01:18:51I did miss this city.
01:18:52I did miss this city.
01:18:53I did miss this city.
01:18:54So, Lara is Princess Lorana's daughter.
01:18:56Let's go.
01:18:58Thousands of people in New York and New Jersey just saw our little event.
01:19:03Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool.
01:19:06What you doing?
01:19:12Kid, I'll get you trained yet.
01:19:14I want one of those.
01:19:16Damn.
01:19:22Hey. Hey.
01:19:24How you doing? I'm good, man.
01:19:25Good. We've all been there, kid.
01:19:28The girl is gone, and it hurts.
01:19:30You want to talk?
01:19:31No.
01:19:32I can help.
01:19:33No.
01:19:34Still sulking?
01:19:35No.
01:19:36Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us.
01:19:39There was this hot young thing I knew once,
01:19:41and when our bodies were entwined in the positions of the Kama Sutra...
01:19:45Zed!
01:19:46Come on, man. Damn!
01:19:48Hey, Jay, I'll tell you something about dames.
01:19:50They say they want to be scratched behind the ears,
01:19:52but what they really want is...
01:19:54Yeah!
01:19:55Hey, Frank!
01:19:56What?
01:19:57Still sitting shiver?
01:19:58Want my advice?
01:19:59No.
01:20:00No advice.
01:20:01No talking.
01:20:02Hell no.
01:20:04Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.
01:20:08All hail Jay!
01:20:09All hail Jay!
01:20:11I brought them over from Grand Central Terminal.
01:20:13Oh, you put them rats in my locker, man.
01:20:15I thought it would put things in perspective for you.
01:20:17No, Kay, it's actually kind of sad, man.
01:20:19Really, we need to let them out of there.
01:20:20I mean, they need to know the world is bigger than that.
01:20:23Still a rookie.
01:20:25You beat!
01:20:29Lalo!
01:20:30Then jump out of me.
01:20:37Untertitelung des ZDF, 2020
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