- 7/12/2025
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00:00All right, Balancers. Today's guest is someone I'm really excited to have on the show because
00:04you know when you just come across those profiles on Instagram and you're just
00:09magnetically drawn to someone and I'm talking like from the point of view where I feel like
00:14we almost have similar neural pathways in our brain. We think about things in a very similar
00:19way. So I think this is going to be a very synergistic, easy conversation. So I'm really
00:23excited to have you on today. Our guest is the CEO of Speaker by Nimi Mehta. She's a TV and radio
00:30presenter, an emcee, a podcast host, a speaker, a public speaking mentor. What don't you do?
00:37It's the beautiful Nimi Mehta on the podcast today. Welcome to the show.
00:42Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to synergize with you.
00:47Oh, I love it. I know.
00:48No, we're going to, there's going to be a lot of synergizing. I think one of the first things that
00:53I was really interested in was your journey from, and I think this is something a lot of people
00:58resonate with, that feeling of completing your degree. So you studied journalism and getting
01:04your first job, which you have described as being your dream job at the time. And just that first year
01:10experience and what happened directly after, because I think that's important context to understand
01:14kind of where you've come to now.
01:16Yeah. Yeah. That's a great first question. So, I mean, just to set the scene, I guess, for people,
01:23did journalism at university, came straight out at the age of 21 and got the job to be an MTV presenter.
01:30And that for me just felt so normal at the time. When something like that happens to you,
01:35you think that life is that easy, especially at such a young age. You know, you come out thinking,
01:39wow, it's really going to be dog eat dog. And then this happens. And it was amazing.
01:42So you just applied and got the job?
01:44Just applied. It was an online competition. You had to submit a video reel. And so I booked out
01:50my local church's hall and I grabbed all my family and friends. And I said, I need you to be extras.
01:56And we were in the dressing room and I was walking through presenting, pretending it's fashion week.
02:01And I had like my sister getting her hair done by her friend and, you know, people throwing clothes
02:06around.
02:07I love the effort.
02:08It's still on YouTube to this day, just because it's so iconic for me. I'm like,
02:11I really produced, directed and presented in that.
02:14That's amazing.
02:15And so that is what got me the gig, but it was just what followed after, you know? And I think
02:22that we all have these dreams and these goalposts, so to say. And I really thought at that age that
02:29you have one goalpost, you get to that goalpost and then it's over.
02:33Life's done.
02:34Life's done. Like sign, seal, delivered, like it's over. In a really good way that, oh, I'm just
02:39going to be plain sailing after this. Obviously it wasn't. And, um, it was, it was a real hit
02:45to the ego. It was a real hit to, you know, my mindset of like, oh, what now? You know,
02:51where do I go now? And I just wasn't prepared for what was after. And so I think that's when
02:56I realized, and it really hit me that my dreams are ever evolving and ever changing. And sometimes
03:01when you think something is your dream, it's not, it's just a stepping stone towards the bigger
03:08picture. Yeah. There's always, um, a bigger piece at play. I think we've forgotten one
03:12key detail though. So you got the job at MTV and then what happened? Yeah. That shattered
03:16your ego. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was there for a year and I had a contract for the year and
03:21then the contract ended and I was unemployed for a few years after that, trying to hustle
03:26back in to be a presenter. So they just didn't renew it. Yeah. They didn't renew it. The channel
03:30that they basically created was something called like district MTV. So they were trying a new
03:34concept of music and fashion together and it just wasn't picking up. So they, they ended
03:40it all. And that was me. That was me done. Well, you know, it's really interesting. What
03:44a beautiful lesson to learn at such a young age that your dreams are ever evolving and
03:50that goals are not, I like talking about it in the frame of goals are not end posts. They're
03:55goal posts. Uh, no, what do I, I can't remember even how I talk about it now, but it's kind of
03:59like they're just markers along your journey. So you're running a marathon, right? It's not
04:03the finish line. It's just like, Oh, you've reached this part of the process. And the
04:08reason I think this is so important to really embrace is because it helps you enjoy the process,
04:13which is something I really struggle with that patience piece when not much is happening
04:18or things are happening, but they're happening in a different way to what you think you actually
04:21zoom out and you remember you're just in that middle part of between those checkpoints.
04:27And when you really zoom out all the way, you realize that's actually what life is.
04:31It's not about, you know, I had a similar experience where I thought that achieving
04:35this goal, getting this job, but you know, reaching this point was going to feel a certain
04:39way and yeah. Okay. It felt great, but then it was over and it was like, okay, now what's the
04:44next part of life? So I think it's good to have had that reframe at such a young age where you're
04:49like, okay, my goals are actually just markers of what's next. Yeah. And the thing is,
04:55no one teaches us this. Life does. Yeah. Life does. And these experiences teach you. And obviously
05:01we're in a wonderful position now where we can look back and in hindsight be like, oh, thank God,
05:05it really taught me a lot. For some people, I know it can go the other way. I just think that,
05:10you know, as we take on these experiences, I think we need to know that we are never,
05:15ever the finished product. And I think that's what I was always chasing as a, as a young individual
05:20who wanted to be a TV presenter. I want to be Jamila Jamil or I want to be Davina McCall on the
05:25TV. And that was why I had my eyes set on. And I was like, they had their own journey. I didn't
05:31recognize that at the time. I thought, oh, overnight they were successes, but I think that it just built
05:36my character a lot more. Yeah, absolutely. So you were saying you were unemployed for a few years and
05:41then what was the next thing and how did you work out how to get to that place after kind of being
05:47a little disappointed in that initial dream? Yeah, I, I really believe in the power of proximity.
05:54So for me, even though I was let go at MTV, they under this group called Viacom and within Viacom,
06:03they have like brands like Nickelodeon and stuff like that. And I thought, you know what,
06:08I'm going to try and get a job at any of these companies as long as I'm in the building. As long
06:14as I'm in the building, someone will remember me or I will hear whispers of like a new job opening up,
06:19you know? And, and so I thought as long as I'm there, I'll be their next choice. And so I applied
06:24for a job at Nickelodeon, which was an advert scheduler, just sitting all day, just scheduling
06:30adverts. It was so monotonous, but I just thought I'm there and nothing came of it. I would love to sit
06:37here and tell you like, oh my God, yeah. And then something happened. It didn't. But the reason I'm sharing
06:41this with you is because I never lost sight. I never gave up hope. And so then for me, it was
06:48also the process of elimination. I sat with myself and I was like, okay, you want to become a TV
06:52presenter? Cool. What about everything else within the media industry? Let's learn every single role
06:59possible. Let's experience it. And then let's actually find out if you do want to be a TV presenter
07:04because you might get behind the camera and think, wow, I actually love being a producer or a director.
07:09Okay. Now my goals changed to that. And, you know, I tried everything from editorial, my local
07:15newspaper to Hello Magazine, to an internship with ITV, you know, behind one of the biggest breakfast
07:22shows in the country. I was hustling. I was so persistent with every work experience job. I mean,
07:29I got an email and back then, you know, there was no such thing as, you know, just clicking a button
07:34and being connected to someone on LinkedIn or, you know, following them on Instagram and DMing them.
07:38It was literally showing up at the door. So even if you sent an email, there was no recognition of
07:43it. I was showing up the door with physical paper CVs. Yet for anyone young listening, we really did
07:49do that. And I would show up doing that. And I remember I got one of my internships because
07:54a guy who was a producer, a local TV show just wasn't responding to me on my emails. And I just kept
08:02going. Like I was like once a month, I had set like dates on my calendar to keep sending him an email
08:08like, hey, just let you know I'm here. And if anything comes up, let me know. Like I wasn't pushy
08:12at all. But one month came up and he goes, you are so persistent. Like you will not give up. But lucky
08:21for you, something's just come up. And this was like six to eight months after I'd first connected
08:24with him. And so my point being that if you set your eyes on something, just keep going. Like
08:30the worst that can happen is they say no. Okay. Well, you can't miss something you never had.
08:34But if you keep going, something might come out of it. So it was that it was me trying absolutely
08:40everything under the sun until I realized, you know what? TV presenting is what I want to do.
08:45And I went into radio then because there was there was such a lack of opportunity in TV in the UK.
08:50And so I wanted to expand my skill set, went into radio at a local radio station and did that for
08:57like five months. I was shockingly bad. It was it was hideous. Honestly, I'm going to play you a clip
09:03from it. But it was just like my voice was different. I you could tell I'm like super rushed
09:08and super anxious and I didn't really know what I was doing. It was going out to like a thousand
09:12people in my local town. And then five months later, I moved to Radio One Abu Dhabi to host a national
09:19breakfast show. So that was that was a crazy journey for me from going from like a thousand
09:25people to a whole nation. Yeah. Wow. And you actually never know. Like I always say, every
09:30networking thing you do, every job, every relationship, like I feel like we get so stuck in
09:36like, oh, that was such a waste of time. But honestly, every little thing has its role and
09:41leads you to exactly where you're meant to be. Right. So even if that five month radio job was like,
09:45oh, whatever, I'd serve me nothing. Maybe you wouldn't have gotten attention for the Abu Dhabi
09:49role if you hadn't had that on your resume. So you just never know how all these things kind of
09:54play together. Before I ask you the next question, I'll just share one thing that really helped me
09:59continue to be persistent because it's the same thing with, you know, if you're trying to get
10:03certain people on the podcast or you're trying to pitch yourself for certain things, you're going
10:07to get a lot of rejection. Like don't sit here thinking just because you see X, Y, Z person on the
10:11show, I don't experience rejection. Like it happens to everyone. And for anyone to get
10:16anywhere, you have to go through the hurdles of rejection. That's life. But a really beautiful
10:20reframe for me was imagine you knew you had 50 no's before you got a yes. You'd be going as fast
10:26as you could to get through and churn through all those no's just so you could hurry up and get to
10:30the yes. So seeing every rejection or setback is just that's one less one before my yes or before
10:36my opportunity has been like a really great reframe for me to just keep going. Right. And not take
10:41it personally because half the time it's not personal at all. Not at all. Yeah. You know what
10:45I mean? Yeah. So then you've, you've gone into this Abu Dhabi role and now you're kind of in this
10:51entrepreneurial freelancing, doing a bit of everything. So this transition into being, I guess,
10:57career focused to entrepreneurial, if I can call it that focus, what have been the biggest things
11:03you've learned in that transition? Yeah. Wow. So I did radio on Abu Dhabi for a year until channel four
11:09poached me over to Dubai. So then I was at channel four hosting the breakfast show for five years
11:13and that was a grind. That was like 4am wake ups. That was, it was a lifestyle choice. It really was
11:18doing a show from six to 10. I did that solidly for five years. We, we were named the number one
11:24show in the country, you know, and I absolutely loved it and adored it. And you know, those years I was
11:29unemployed that I was telling you back in the UK, um, the power of visualization and manifestation
11:36is real. Like I know we, we hear it and we see it and we consume so much stuff that just sounds so
11:43fuzzy. That's like, yeah, visualization, manifestation. I cannot stress it enough. It
11:48is one of the key things that got me to where I am today. I agree. So I remember sitting there in my
11:53bed whilst I was crying because I was unemployed and miserable tissues in tow. Yeah, exactly. And I,
11:59and I came to Dubai on and off growing up anyway. And, uh, I was like, you know what, let's just see
12:03what's out there. And I was on channel4dubai.com and I saw like the presenter lineup and all these
12:09faces. And I remember like, I kid you not Erica, I was sitting there for like an hour, just staring
12:15at that lineup, staring and just visualizing myself in that lineup. And I kept saying, you're going to
12:21be there. You're going to be there. You're going to be there. And I mean, it didn't happen overnight.
12:26I would love to say that, but it happened literally a few years later where I was then hosting the
12:32breakfast show of that lineup. And so this kind of power of believing really changed the game for me,
12:39but that was a solid job. That was my dream job that I've been working all these years to be,
12:44you know, at the top of the game, the, you know, for me as well, a female in radio,
12:50females were generally considered kind of like giggle girls in radio. The guy was the main guy and the girl
12:56would just kind of laugh at whatever the guy says. That is just a classic radio setup.
12:59I was really lucky because my co-host and me had a 50, 50 share, you know, we were very much like
13:05equal voices, but I loved the show. And, um, it just got to a point where I was like, it is time
13:11for a change and you feel it, you feel it in your bones, like, you know it. And so I know, and I am
13:19from my community. I have a lot of people who talk to me about how did you take the leap? Like, how did
13:23you make that change? How did you believe in yourself? And it came down to one thing. And that was
13:28which fear do I choose? So there were two fears. The first was, oh my gosh, but if I leave, I have
13:36a solid salary here. So financially I was covered. It was my comfort zone. I knew it day in, day out.
13:42I had a routine with it. The third was, you know, this was your dream. Are you going to let go of
13:47your dream? I was holding onto that fear of, but the unknown, what's going to happen next? And then
13:54that was one side of the fear. The second side of the fear was, okay, but are you still going to be
14:00here in five years time? Are you still going to feel undervalued in five years time? Are you still
14:07going to be saying to yourself, oh, Nimmy, why are you here? Are you still going to be getting out of
14:11bed every morning, feeling like it's more of a chore than a spring in your step? And that fear
14:18outweighed the fear before I was so scared of staying stagnant that any fear I felt about leaving
14:27and taking the leap was just irrelevant to me. Cause I was like, I would rather look back and say,
14:33I'm so proud you tried then. Oh, I'm so proud you stayed and stayed in your little comfort box and,
14:40you know, shied away from your potential. So if anyone is feeling like they're in that kind of period
14:47and, and scared to kind of take the next step, I would say weigh out your fear, which one scares
14:54you more? Because for me, it was definitely the latter. That is such a powerful question. And in a
14:58very similar vein, a question you could also ask is, um, which discomfort do you want to choose?
15:03It's a very similar question because the reality is it's uncomfortable, not pursuing things that you
15:10dream about or things that you wish you wanted to do. And it's also uncomfortable pursuing them because
15:15you're, you know, dealing with potentially not feeling like you're worthy to do it and self
15:20doubt and the uncertainty and all of that. But then the flip of that is actually just not doing it at
15:26all. Never trying, never knowing and being stuck in something that maybe is not setting your heart
15:30on fire. So yeah, I think just being really honest with yourself, like it's, I feel like this is one of
15:35those things where if you get that feeling, like you described it in your bones, I know that feeling
15:41it's happened, you know, iconic moments in my life where in that moment you have the, I think it's
15:47like twofold. You have that feeling and you acknowledge what's going on and then it's the
15:51action piece. And that's obviously the hardest part, but, but getting raw with yourself, I think
15:56is the most actionable thing you can do because it helps you see what you're like at a fork in a road.
16:01And it's like, okay, which one, which one do I want to go for? So I think that's really good
16:05advice for anybody listening. Um, and really you can apply that to any juncture or crossroad in your
16:12life with anything, relationships, decisions with your health, like, you know what I mean? Like pick
16:16your fear or pick your discomfort. A hundred percent. And I would say that your body tells
16:21you exactly what you want. And this is something that I've kind of learned to listen to. We, we talk
16:27about listening to our mind and our heart all the time, but our body is so aligned with us in the
16:32sense that if I feel something in my bones, that term exists for a reason, right? Cause you feel
16:39it in your core, in your gut. I have a five second rule where I'm like, okay, as soon as I feel
16:44something, I hold onto that because in five seconds, my mind's going to start convincing me. Otherwise
16:50my mind's going to start convincing me. No, no, no. Don't leave. Don't leave. Because what about
16:55money? What about this? What about stability? What about, you know, you put, you want to be able to
16:59afford, you know, a house next year. How are you going to be able to do that? You know,
17:02all these little elements of life that come through the extras that really don't contribute
17:07to your core. Your mind convinces you otherwise of what your body tells you. So I set a five second
17:12rule. As soon as I have thought and felt something, I instantly am aware that my mind's going to kick
17:18in any second. And I need to like hold that piece. I need to hold that core gut, gut feeling I'm
17:25getting. I need to hold onto that. And I would say that a lot of us avoid it. A lot, a lot of us
17:31ignore it because it's probably the easiest thing to do. And so that kind of discipline has really
17:37changed the game for me in decision-making and taking these kinds of leaps.
17:41Yeah. That's amazing. And, um, often I think the reason, I mean, the brain is the rational part of
17:47the body. We owe a lot to it for keeping us alive, but it does try and give meaning to everything when
17:54sometimes it stands on its own enough as it is. And I think the reason that that is so good. Like,
18:00I love that. Just sitting with the thought for five seconds and just noticing what that knee jerk
18:04reaction is. Yeah. Because that often is a little bit uncomfortable because it's prompting change.
18:09Right. But if you actually just, that's a really good actionable thing people can take and maybe
18:14practice. That's a good way to start listening to that inner voice that, you know, when we talk about
18:19following your intuition or being more intuitive, I think it comes down to small things like this.
18:24My, um, fiance, he used to be a chiropractor and, um, I mean, he's had a huge career shift,
18:29which is totally random, but in his times being a chiropractor, we used to talk about how
18:34the body's language was pain. And I find this really interesting just in kind of like a tangent
18:41of what we're talking about is it will also send you signals when things are not right as equally as
18:47when you need to make change or do something different. And so what I find really interesting,
18:51I don't know if anyone or yourself can resonate with this, but if I'm really stressed or I'm really
18:55out of alignment, I will always get the same pain and it's in my neck. It's always just neck pain.
19:01And I always used to think, Oh, I'm on the computer too much, but I remember it happening one time when
19:05I was on holidays, I got, um, you know, something happened and I got a bit stressful and I was like,
19:09well, I haven't been on my computer. So I now noticed that as like my body's language,
19:14but I think just tuning into little things, whether it is in moments of stress, in moments of change,
19:18um, whether it's a knee jerk reaction before your mind kicks in, like just getting familiar with how
19:24you respond to things and what that looks like in your body is so powerful to take control of your
19:29own life. So yeah. And that also applies, you know, I've like deeply studied this even when it
19:34comes to like communication, but that also applies to like when you meet people. I don't know about you.
19:39I don't know if you've ever met like in a social situation, you've bumped into new people, you've
19:43met them. My body instantly tells me if I am the vibe. Yeah. You can feel the energy. Am I for that
19:50person or am I not? And usually when I'll, even when my body tells me they're not my vibe, I still
19:57then convince myself, no, no, no, it's okay. Like, Oh, I start doubting myself rather than doubting the
20:02other person. And we need to trust ourselves more. That's what it comes down to. And I think that this
20:08is when we start to get into, you know, bad friendships or bad relationships because we
20:14are not following our gut and that, that we need to be able to pick up these signs. And that level
20:18of self-awareness is really key. I think. Yeah. And I think, um, one thing that helped me get
20:23comfortable with that, cause I was a bit like, Oh, but they're not a bad person. I was over,
20:26over complicating it. I was like, it's not even about good or bad or that they've done something
20:30wrong. It's just alignment. Yeah. Like at the end of the day, like our energies are just not aligned.
20:34And that doesn't mean I need to not like you or it doesn't mean you have to have done something
20:38wrong to me. We're just not aligned. Yeah. And I just don't need to give you more than what I have
20:42to. Totally. And that's okay. Fine. Yeah. So fine. I'd love to ask you a bit about finding your voice,
20:48like obviously through speaker and different things that you're doing now, that's something you're
20:52helping other people achieve. And I think it's such a powerful thing. I mean, as a podcast host,
20:57I know the power of my voice in learning, in communicating, in understanding different
21:03things. And, and I think connecting is another big one too. So when it comes to finding your voice,
21:09what does that actually mean? Cause I think there may be a lot of people listening have not even
21:13considered what is my, what is my voice? Like what does, even now that I'm thinking about it, like,
21:18okay, it's the physical thing, like it's my voice, but what does that mean in terms of how I
21:23portray myself to the world and how, how do people go about locating what that even is for them?
21:28Yeah. Great question. I think for me, the reason that all kind of started was when I was shifting
21:34from my main job, which was being on the radio to then what next. And I had a like kind of mind shift
21:43of perspective. So I went from the day to day, okay, this is ticking over month to month. This is
21:47ticking over to then legacy mode. I went to mode of what am I leaving behind? What am I sharing with
21:56people around me that I have learned from my journey that they can, you know, that can help
22:01them along theirs. And that's when I started to think about how I used to be an absolute mute as a
22:08child. And now I'm hosting some of the biggest events and TV shows. I wouldn't believe that for a
22:13second. Right. And my mom and grandma still to this day are like, are you the same person? Like
22:18they just cannot, it doesn't click for them, but that really resonated with me. And so what I did
22:24was I sat down and I was like, okay, so how did you get from A to Z? How did you do it? And I realized
22:30what I have taught myself, I could framework and I could help people to actually learn that framework
22:35and do it in less time than I can. So it was that shift of, to legacy mode of what do I actually want
22:41to leave behind? And that kind of like zooming out and bigger picture of the, this is so much
22:47bigger than you. What's your purpose? Like what's your impact? A hundred percent. And so then, you
22:53know, I looked at, okay, I found my voice. I found my voice. And I kept asking myself the question,
22:58what does that mean though to me? What does that mean? And so it was identifying what was truly me.
23:04And I created something called the voice layer theory after doing all of my kind of like looking back and
23:11you know, how can I build this and how can I teach this to other people? And the easiest way to
23:15describe it is that when you're, when you're born, uh, in your most, you know, developing early years,
23:22the biggest influence on your voice from the get-go, your parents, right? Your mom or your dad or your
23:29guardians, whoever is, is raising you. And on top of that, then say you've got your voice here,
23:35you've got the parents on top. Then on top of that, we go to school, we've got teachers,
23:38we've got other students on top of that. We're consuming media, TV, radio on top of that. Now
23:44in a world of social media, where millions of voices are influencing us, telling us what we
23:49should feel, what we should think, what our opinions should be on certain things. And what
23:54I realized is we're there at the bottom, we're the foundation, but the, all these layers are
23:58building up on top of us. And what's happening is our own voice is getting diluted. So I don't know
24:05about you, but like in any situation, even with my partner, I say something and I'm like,
24:09that wasn't me. That was my mom. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a big one. He's actually been good calling
24:14me out being like, yeah, that was your mom. Yeah. And I'm so glad he does because we,
24:19sometimes we do need that. You know, when I'm, when I'm with a friend and she's like,
24:24what do you want to have for dinner? And I'm like, oh, sushi. And she's like, oh yes, let's go for sushi.
24:28And I'm like, Nimi, did you want sushi? Or do you just know that she loves sushi? So you're going for sushi.
24:33You're like, damn, should have picked the ramen. Right. Obsessed with ramen, by the way, obsessed.
24:38So it was all of these things of, we've got so many people influencing our voice and what we don't
24:44do and what we've never been taught from a young age is that our voice is its own nucleus. We kind
24:50of just think it's a default and a given, but your voice is your greatest asset. It is one of the core
24:57things that help you to communicate who you are to the world. How can we haven't done the groundwork?
25:04And identifying what that voice is. So there's a way to kind of identify that and break all those
25:10layers down. And it takes a lot of time. I'd love to sit here and say, okay, okay, I can, you can do it
25:14right now. Yeah. Yeah. But it took me a lot of time. And what I did was first was isolate my voice.
25:20So that was taking myself away for like a week or so. When I say taking myself away, I wish it was
25:25going to like some private Island. No, it was just not consuming social media.
25:29Detox. It was exactly that detox. And then also just not talking to a lot of people for a week,
25:34which is amazing by the way. And we all need to do it. We need to just sit with ourselves for a while.
25:40And I started questioning everything. Question everything. If I, if you walk away with anything,
25:47if you're listening right now and you walk away with anything today is just question every decision
25:51you make, every thought you have, every opinion and feeling you have. Why do I feel that way?
25:58How come? How come that's what you chose? I started even questioning like the tiniest things
26:04from what, what do I want to have for dinner? Okay. Why are you choosing that? Why Nimi? And it's
26:10really, it can get really tedious, but the point is that that's the only way to break through because
26:16then you start realizing why you start making these choices. Is it you or is it someone else
26:22highly influencing it? What's the source? What's the source? And I got to the point where I was like,
26:26journalism, I started questioning my whole career and my purpose. And I was like, did I do it? Cause
26:30my mom wanted me to do it or did I want to do it? And you have a bit of an identity crisis through it
26:34all, but that just means it's working. Yeah. It's really working. So I isolated my voice completely.
26:40And then what I started doing was evaluating the voices around me. So the five closest people to
26:47me, you know, they say the, you are the average of the five closest people to you. Okay. Who,
26:51who are they then? Let's actually identify them. And let's actually recognize if they're a positive
26:56influence on my voice, if they are guiding my voice, enhancing my voice, are they helping it in
27:02any way or are they dimming my voice? And so that's what made me really identify the people. And then for me,
27:08it was just elimination, you know, and, and I had to be pretty cutthroat because I'm like,
27:13this is, this is me. This is my nucleus. I have to protect my voice at all costs. And I don't think
27:20we think of it that way. And when I, when I interviewed Gary Vee, I asked him about that.
27:25And I said, so how did you find your voice? And you know, how, what, how would you share with other
27:31people that they can find their voice? And he said, you know, I found my voice in the trenches of other
27:37voices. And he said that my mom was such a positive influence on my voice. And I just realized that
27:44other people's voices don't matter so much to me, you know, and he completely isolated his voice away
27:50from everyone else to identify what it is. And, and that to me was just like, okay, this guy knows what
27:57he's doing. You know, they say, never take advice from people who haven't already done it. He's done
28:01it. Right. And so that those two things for me was isolating my voice and then evaluating all the
28:06voices around me and then rebuilding, rebuilding the voices around you. Okay. So who does make you
28:11feel good? Who does enhance your voice? And then that started to beef out the skeleton a bit of what
28:17it is. That's truly me. And I think that that's what finding your voice is. And by the way, it's an
28:23ever evolving journey. It is now, I can't sit here and say to you, yep, I found it. I've mastered it a hundred
28:28percent. No, no, no. It changes every single day. And sometimes other voices outgrow you too.
28:34You know, we talk about friends outgrowing and like, you just meet each other at a certain path
28:38and then you kind of amicably go your work in different ways. But that's how I feel about
28:43certain voices as well. And I, and I just wish people saw our voices as external beings and not
28:49just a default within us. I think this is so, so powerful and a really interesting thing for people
28:56to do. And when you were kind of talking about the isolation piece, I was thinking in my head,
28:59this is going to be quite difficult because you're in, in the world we live in, like no one lives
29:05in their own lane without any external stimulation. So I love that there's that second piece of actually
29:11critically analyzing, like who are those five people? You could even take it a step further
29:15and be like, what content am I consuming? Who am I following online? Because I feel like even though,
29:20even, even if you are not with somebody all the time, if that is someone you're listening to
29:24constantly, like what are the things they're saying? Are they aligned for you? And this just,
29:29to me is like screaming, like it's like ultimate alignment because when you can work out, this is
29:34like such an amazing blueprint for anything in life, like to really like get down to why you have
29:39certain beliefs about yourself, why you make certain decisions, why you, you know, for people who struggle
29:44to set boundaries, who feel guilty for doing things or not doing things, who doubt their own
29:49potential. Like these are all things I've struggled with. And I can just see the value in
29:53when you peel that away and you're like, what is the source? Where is the truth in my voice in this?
29:58And where have I layered on top of what other people think? It's such a powerful way to work
30:03out what's going on. I just want to share one experience I had last year that's actually really
30:07resonating with what you just shared. And I went to Greece for my sister's wedding last year in August,
30:13and I don't really drink that much alcohol, but in the last few years since moving here,
30:19particularly it's been less and less and less. I mean, it's a big part of the culture in Australia.
30:24It's not something I do heaps. I enjoy a drink when I'm out, but again, not something I do regularly.
30:29And when I went to Greece last year, uh, just before that, I'd been doing a lot of work on myself,
30:33spending a lot more time by myself. I call myself a retired extrovert. I was that person that I used to
30:39hate being in my own company. I'd always be like, I'd have like a hundred coffee acquaintances. Like
30:43I was that person. And since moving here, I've really embraced the value of being alone, hearing
30:50myself, creating that space. So anyway, I went to Greece for my sister's wedding and it was a very
30:54social, beautiful, fun time catching up with family. Obviously none live here. So it was a really
30:59nice time. And you know, you're in Greece, it's summer, you're having spritzes every day,
31:04that kind of experience. When I got back, I had a rude shock because I realized how detached I was
31:11from myself. It was like, I couldn't not this dramatic, but like take it metaphorically. Like
31:17I couldn't feel my body cues. I like my intuition was nowhere to be found. And ever since that
31:23experience, every time I have had alcohol, I feel like I'm very hyper aware as to the thoughts I have
31:30when I start to feel a bit tipsy, how that changes, how that voice changes. So, you know, I just wanted
31:35to bring it up because I feel like even things you do or places that you immerse yourself in can
31:40impact that voice. If it's not as direct as like somebody else's voice and alcohol for me has been
31:46something I'm now like super attuned to as something that disconnects me from my own voice.
31:52So that was just a really weird experience I had. I don't know if you, I don't know if you drink at
31:57all, if you've had a similar experience. Yeah, no, when you were speaking about that,
32:01what made me kind of resonate with that is every time I go home and I'm surrounded by people
32:06that make me disconnect with myself because, you know, living away from home for so long,
32:11when you go back to the place that you grew up, a lot of, you know, a lot of people here in the
32:15UAE could probably resonate is that then you surround yourself with the people who know the old you.
32:20Yeah. And so you regress almost. You literally go back to that little girl. And I feel like every
32:26single time I go home, I go back to that little girl and I'm again, that insecure, timid, mute.
32:32And then I come back to Dubai and I have to almost relearn myself. Yeah, it's crazy. It's such a weird
32:37experience. Reintroduce myself. And so that goes for drinking, that goes for people. And that just tells
32:43you the people, the things that you should not be consuming. That's across the board. And so I think
32:48that those, again, that level of awareness for you to come home and like recognize that is huge.
32:54Yeah. I had a guest on once and she was talking about how when you go and visit family and you've
32:59been away for so long and you've created your own life, you, there's this like anxiety or fear or
33:05actual reality of regressing back into, she was talking about in the context of a family dynamic,
33:11but you have a role to play in your family. And that was growing up, right? You might've been the
33:15person that lashed out. You might've been the person that copped all the comments from
33:18someone. You might've been the adjudicator. Like everyone has a role in a family. And when you're
33:22in that dynamic, you almost regress back into that role, even if you've done a lot of work to
33:27kind of evolve and grow out of it. So it's just really interesting. I think like some of these
33:31things you, you know, I'm always going to go home and visit my family. I I'm not at the stage where
33:36I've like cut out alcohol for life, but it's just having this awareness. So now when I am doing
33:40these things, I'm a lot more intentional because I know the impact it has on my voice and my connect,
33:45in my, you know, my intuition, my connection with self. So yeah, I just wanted to bring that up
33:50because it really like reminded me of what you were just sharing. And I think the framework you've
33:54shared is really, really valuable. Just like it to anything, to be honest. Yeah, absolutely.
33:59I, um, I asked you the other day before you came on the podcast today, I asked you if there was
34:05anything you'd been ruminating on thinking about, because I'm the kind of person where you might hear
34:11me talking about a lot of things on the show, people will hear like similar themes coming up,
34:15but I'm always, I'm the kind of person that like ponders on a lot of things like 24 seven. I'm like
34:20a ruminator. Yeah. So I asked you if there was anything you'd been thinking about or like just
34:23talking about generally. And there were a few things that really stood out to me from what you
34:27shared. The first one is this difference between being nice and being assertive. And this is something
34:35I've struggled with as someone who I think grew up as a people pleaser, trying not to ruffle any
34:42feathers, trying not to come across as rude, right? Always be the nice person, always be the bigger
34:49person. But that's meant I haven't been assertive in moments where I should have probably stood up for
34:55myself. Yeah. So how have you been thinking about this juncture with being nice and being assertive?
35:00Is there like a happy medium? Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, I had to completely dissolve the idea that
35:09I had that it's either being nice or being mean. And I thought those are my only two options. And
35:16especially as a woman, I feel that for us, we do have different approaches, especially now as an
35:22entrepreneur, I'm speaking purely as an entrepreneur, that being in the room and, you know, having
35:27conversations that, you know, are up to the progress of your company. And, you know, you're talking about
35:34bigger things that are bigger than you, that I feel, I felt just really uncomfortable with,
35:40with that. I'm not kind of like you. I was like a people pleaser. I was just, you know, I just want
35:44to be nice. That's the only way I know how to operate is to just be kind. My dad, you know, when we
35:51were growing up, my mom and dad always just said like, I don't even care what religion you are,
35:55just be a good person, just be a good person. And that has how, that's just how me and my sister
36:01have been raised. So then specifically in the media industry, I really struggled with it,
36:07really struggled with it because, you know, I am, I actually, I'll share a story with you. I had a
36:12hairdresser at the TV studio and he's left now. And on his last day, he took me to the side and he was
36:18like, you know, I absolutely love you, but I have to share something with you. I have to tell you
36:23something. If there's one thing that I leave with you, this is it. I was like, yeah, she'll go for
36:27it. And he goes, you need to stop being so nice. You just need to stop. And I was like, why do I,
36:33what? I thought he was joking. And he said, yeah, you need to be a bit of a bitch around here to be
36:38respected. And I just sat with that for a while. Cause I was like, well, hang on a second. That's not the
36:46way I operate. It would be really alien for me to try to be that, to be respected because, you know,
36:55there are, there are people in the world, in the industry who do navigate themselves in that way.
37:02And I sat with myself and I was like, yes, 100%. They probably get their stuff done for them in a
37:08better manner, in a quicker, more efficient manner, because the people that are doing it for them
37:13operate from fear, not from love for them. It's from absolute fear.
37:17Yeah. That's not respect.
37:19It's not respect. And that's not what I want whatsoever. And I, um, I went to a friend of
37:25mine who's in the industry in the U S and I was like, they've, he's told me this. What do you think?
37:30Because at the same time I was experiencing a lot of disrespect, a lot of undervaluing. And I thought
37:39in that moment, I was like, yeah, you know what? I'm going to be this. I'm going to be like
37:42that hard nut. Obviously it was just like in the spur of the moment and I had the adrenaline
37:47rushing. It just wasn't true to me, but I think that what I have figured out and what I'm still
37:52learning to this day is a difference between being kind and assertive. I think that you can
37:59still be kind with it, but still be very clear and concise about what it is that you want.
38:05And I think that I got muddled with that. I thought, you know, as the talent that, you know,
38:10oh, I don't want anyone to think I'm difficult. I don't want anyone to think I'm a diva as women.
38:14We get labeled so easily diva bitch difficult is what we get. If a man does it, it's wow. Like
38:22he's got something about him. He's powerful. He's strong. Whereas we get labeled completely
38:27something different. And so that kind of balance, I've literally been trying to just weave in to my
38:35everyday interactions. And that has been stopping myself. I've literally been stopping myself from
38:40just being the yes person and stripping it back. And that's a, that's a, you know, a quality of a
38:47highly confident person is the ability to respond and not react. So responding means taking your time.
38:54It means not waffling. It means understanding and treating your words like gold that you don't need
39:00to say a lot. You just need to keep it concise, keep it tight and get your message across in the,
39:05in the right way. And as a woman, I just feel like I have been learning to, and I've been burnt along
39:13the way. I mean, I'm sure you can share some stories, but I have really learned the hard way of being too
39:19nice because people also walk all over you. Yeah. They take advantage. They treat you terribly because
39:24they're like, oh, she'll be fine. Yeah. Oh, Nimi won't mind. She'll say yes. Yeah. She never minds.
39:28That happens all the time. And so I'm just learning now that, you know what, Nim, there's a way to be
39:33kind and super nice with it and respectful, but you just need to be very clear about what you want
39:39and then you'll get the outcome you want as well. Yeah. I think it comes down to me what you said at
39:44the very beginning, which is being assertive or sorry, what did you say? You said being kind and
39:50being mean aren't the, aren't the two options, right? And being assertive doesn't mean you're being mean.
39:54Yeah. It actually, for me, it comes down as well to like communicating your boundaries.
39:59Right. And I think if we even go back to what we're talking about before, if you strip down and
40:03come to source, it's like, well, why do I feel the need to put this person's comfort or desires above
40:09my own? Because that's what people pleasing is. It's saying yes to someone else and saying no to
40:13yourself. And when I had that realization, I was like, this is ridiculous. I would never expect somebody
40:18else to say no to themselves and yes to me, just to make me feel better. Like it's their life. Like
40:23if they said no to me, it actually doesn't really change that much about my life. I think we
40:27conjure up this story so many times of like how much impact we're having on other people when we
40:32say no, but it's like, honey, you're the character of your own story only. Like everyone else is just
40:37going to get on with their lives. Like you don't have, they don't care about you as much as what you
40:41think they do, which is the harsh truth. Like something I had to realize as well. But yeah,
40:47it's, uh, I've had a lot of scenarios where in the last few years, the more aligned I'm feeling,
40:52I'm able to not defend myself, but I think just be assertive in what I want and what I will not
41:00tolerate. I think I've had more experiences in that realm where if I had responded in the moment,
41:04if I had not taken my time, it could have been emotional react, like, you know, reactive and,
41:09but taking your time and just responding in a way that feels aligned for you. I have a specific
41:14scenario in mind, which I won't go in detail about, but it was a bit of like an explosive
41:19interaction with somebody via text. And, you know, people are saying reply like this and say these
41:25angry things and use like, you know, swearing and emotion. And that's just not me. I, my tolerance
41:31for anger, like I just, it's not an emotion I really express. Like I've got an Italian family,
41:37which may be very surprising that I don't carry that trait, but my sisters, you know,
41:41they're very loud and they like yelling and that's just how they express themselves. But that is not
41:46true to me. Yeah. And so when I've been in those moments where I've had all the emotions sitting
41:51behind it, but I don't outwardly respond that way. And it's almost like expected. I just take my time
41:57with it. That feels more aligned for me, but in the same vein, sometimes that means I just don't say
42:02anything at all. And that's me being too nice because I don't want to, you know, kick the can
42:09further down the road or continue the explosive kind of interaction. So I think it's an interesting
42:14one to think about, like, at what point do you assert yourself in a way that's aligned for you?
42:18And I think it just comes down to delivery. Yeah. Right. Because. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that
42:23it goes back to our previous point when we talk about finding your voice, it's that, am I reacting
42:28or responding? It's like having that check-in with yourself, you know, and questioning yourself. Was
42:32that a reaction or was that an actual response? And, you know, even in professional settings,
42:36sometimes even in social settings, we feel so pressured to like give an answer. On the spot.
42:40Or respond straight away and just take a beat. Just take a beat. Take a breath. And then, you know
42:47what, even if you don't know the answer, you know what, I'm not quite clear on that. Let me get back to
42:52you. Yeah. Because your words have value. So don't just give them away willy nilly, you know,
42:59think about it because you'll walk away and thinking, why on earth did I say that? That's
43:03not even what I was thinking or feeling. So give yourself that grace to be able to just like take
43:08a moment and move with it. And then just like the last thing I would say on that is just that
43:12it goes back to one of our previous points, which is like relationships is everything.
43:16And so I never, I never want someone to walk away from a human to human experience and interaction
43:23with me and feel horrible. It is something I am so conscious of in every single thing I do,
43:29whether that is walking onto the set and talking to the crew and saying hello to them and thanking
43:34them for their time and energy all the way through to the director. You know, it doesn't matter who it
43:38is. I am treating you exactly the same. And I think that we lose sight of that sometimes in this like
43:45dog eat dog world and, you know, oh, we need to get on top of each other. We need to be each other
43:49comparisons and stuff. I'm like, when it comes down to it, when I'm 90 years old, what am I going to
43:54remember? I'm going to remember the beautiful people and the beautiful experiences that I had
43:59with people, the memories, the good times. And that's what I want to leave with people. I never
44:03want someone to walk away from me thinking, oh God, she's a bit, you know? And I think that,
44:08that with that being said, you want to leave a good impression and a good feeling with them,
44:14but in protecting yourself at the same time. Yeah. I think that can be challenging when you
44:19come across personalities or people that do have that dog eat dog world attitude and they're like
44:24coming at you, right? And again, like there's this thing called projection, which means it may
44:28not even have anything to do with you. You might just be in the firing line that day. But I think
44:31this is when the power of finding your own voice is so important because you will come across
44:37different kinds of tornadoes, I call them in life. And really at the end of the day, like you don't need
44:42to match their energy because if you're aligned and like centered in your own voice, in your own
44:47energy, you just respond from a way that's authentic to you. But that again, takes time and
44:52your voice is an evolving thing. People's voices around you are evolving thing and you grow and
44:57change. So just like constantly doing that. And some of the beautiful tips you've shared so far,
45:02I think are really useful for people to just check in with themselves. It's all about that regular
45:06check-in, creating space for that regularly. Like I do that through spending time on my own,
45:11which is something I've learned over the last few years or meditation or, you know, I live in my
45:16head a lot. I like to journal like kind of notes on my phone. People have different outlets. Do you
45:21kind of have something that? Yeah, I live in my notes app and a lot of photo albums. So, you know,
45:28even when I'm feeling kind of like low in self-confidence or I'm kind of having my doubts of
45:33who I am, why am I here? What am I doing? You know, we all have those days. Existential crisis.
45:37100% and it happens regularly. I have a photo album called My Wins and I take photos from tiny
45:44little things to, oh, I actually made dinner this week, all the way through to hosting one of the
45:49biggest events of the year. It ranges. But what I like to do is that is my reminder album. I just
45:55skim through those photos and I'm like, you did that. You did that. No one else did it. You did it.
46:02And it's just a tiny little reminder to me that, hang on a second. Yes, you're thinking way in the
46:07future of like, I'm not where I want to be. It's 2024. I should have X amount. I should be doing
46:12this. I should be hosting this many things. No, let's look back and see how far you've come.
46:17And these kind of little, just this one technique I share with my community is creating a My Wins album.
46:22And that's all it takes. If you're not a visual, I'm very much a visual person. So looking back at the
46:27photos and videos totally shift my perspective. Sometimes it's just on your notes. Sometimes it's just
46:31listing out my January wins and then saying, this is what I did this month. And I'm really
46:36bloody proud of myself for that. So recognizing that and what we were talking about earlier was
46:42kind of like loud confidence versus soft confidence. You know, you're speaking about
46:46your sisters and how they're quite fiery. That's loud confidence. But then there's others of us that
46:51would consider ourselves introverts that have that soft confidence. We don't come across the loudest in
46:56the room. You know, we're not the most attention seeking individuals. But in my opinion,
47:00I am the most confidence when I'm in my introvert mode. I call myself a bit of an extrovert introvert
47:06because I am both and different scenarios and situations bring different versions of me out.
47:12But I think what is a misconception is the loudest person in the room is the most confident.
47:16Oh, yeah.
47:17Right? Absolutely not. If anything, when now when I'm in a social setting, and someone is super loud,
47:23I have so much compassion for them. Because I'm like, there is something there is something a lot
47:28deeper there that you think looks like, oh, my God, wow, I want to be them. No, there's always
47:35something there. You know, I kind of like, feel feel a bit for them. Because I'm like, there's a
47:39reason they're seeking the validation, the attention. Yeah. And I think that we need to
47:43recognize that as individuals, we don't have to be the loudest in the room to be the most confident
47:46at all. Yeah, absolutely. And just to kind of circle back to your album of wins. Yeah, I'm glad
47:53you brought up for the less visual people, because I think I'm more like written word style. I have an
47:58Excel sheet, which is very corporate of me. But it's just because it's kind of tied in with a couple
48:04other things I'm tracking, so to speak. But I have like a wins list. And so whenever something happens,
48:09big or small, doesn't matter. I'll put it on the list. And again, it's something I can go back and
48:14reflect on. And the best part about doing this, whether you pick a photo album, whether it's in
48:18your notes, whether it's on an Excel sheet is once you know you are feeling something out, you have
48:24something to add to, you start looking for those things. It's not like, oh, it's the end of January.
48:28What did I achieve? I need to write something out. Yeah. If you know that's coming up, it helps you
48:33kind of like activate something and you start looking for things to be grateful for or proud of
48:36yourself for because you've put it on your radar. Yeah. And then it becomes the, you know, it doesn't matter
48:41how big something small is. You're like, oh, this can go on my list. Exactly. Or this can go in my
48:45album. And that's a really beautiful practice to have. And all that does is just build your
48:48confidence. It builds your, you know, just self-assurance that, hang on, I did all this.
48:54I can move forward and just sit. If you are feeling low in self-confidence, sit with it as well. I never
49:00tried to push myself through it. You know, if I'm feeling rubbish, which I was this week a lot,
49:05I was just kind of like, oh, you're this, you're that, you know, like really talking myself down.
49:09And then only when I sat with that, again, I took self 24 hours. I was like, sit with it,
49:13feel it all because then you're going to be, feel great tomorrow and you'll feel grateful for the
49:18rise up. And, you know, I wouldn't say push yourself through it. I would just say,
49:22move with it, move with all the emotions. And then the next day, just get back on it.
49:27Absolutely. If I ever have a day, you know, it's generally once a month, have a big crying day.
49:32Yeah. I always feel so good the next day. It's like, you just let something go,
49:35but just like emotions are all, um, they're all temporary. Yeah. You know, nothing lasts forever.
49:42Yeah. Just feel it, let it do its thing. And I think the more raw you can get with yourself,
49:46the bigger, the bounce back almost. And it's just, that's the ebbs and flows. Like even when I talk
49:51about life balance, it's never trying to achieve this, you know, holistic middle level state where
49:56you're never dealing with things. You need the lows because it's a point of reference for the high
49:59moments. And sometimes low moments are points of change or points of reflection and
50:04everything serves its purpose. There's a beautiful harmony between these binary moments in life. And
50:09you know, having, um, I worked with a therapist for a few years, she was a high performance coach,
50:14but we did a lot of like psychology and she was amazing. One of the things she taught me was having
50:19a cookie jar, which is effectively your photo album of wins or I guess a few weeks ago called it a book
50:24of wins. So have those things where you track and you look and you have that activation to be like,
50:30what am I going to be proud of myself for today, this week, this month? Yeah. But I think this is
50:35a beautiful place to leave our conversation. I've really, really enjoyed our chat. We could go on
50:39for hours. Honestly, this will not be the last podcast. So thank you so much for your time. And
50:43I'm so looking forward to seeing what then this year and beyond brings for you. Thank you so much
50:48for having me. And I've absolutely loved this conversation. So thank you for your time. My pleasure.
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