- yesterday
Crime doesn’t pay — especially when you're this bad at it.
Welcome to WatchMojo.World, and today we’re counting down the Top 30 Dumbest Criminals of All Time — the ones who practically caught themselves with their jaw-dropping lack of planning, logic, or common sense.
From robbers who forgot to wear masks, to burglars who left their ID behind, these criminals prove that not all masterminds go into crime — and thankfully, that made catching them a whole lot easier (and funnier).
Our list includes:
💳 The thief who tried to rob a bank... after applying for a job there
📱 The guy who livestreamed his own robbery
🚓 The burglar who called the cops on himself
🛒 The shoplifter who walked straight into a police conference
📸 And the duo who posed for selfies with stolen goods
💬 Which criminal fail made you laugh the most?
Tell us in the comments — and don’t forget to subscribe to WatchMojo.World for more outrageous true crime content!
Welcome to WatchMojo.World, and today we’re counting down the Top 30 Dumbest Criminals of All Time — the ones who practically caught themselves with their jaw-dropping lack of planning, logic, or common sense.
From robbers who forgot to wear masks, to burglars who left their ID behind, these criminals prove that not all masterminds go into crime — and thankfully, that made catching them a whole lot easier (and funnier).
Our list includes:
💳 The thief who tried to rob a bank... after applying for a job there
📱 The guy who livestreamed his own robbery
🚓 The burglar who called the cops on himself
🛒 The shoplifter who walked straight into a police conference
📸 And the duo who posed for selfies with stolen goods
💬 Which criminal fail made you laugh the most?
Tell us in the comments — and don’t forget to subscribe to WatchMojo.World for more outrageous true crime content!
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Hey, try rolling it, morons. It's a barrel.
00:03Welcome to WatchMojo. And today, we're counting down our picks for the most ridiculous criminals
00:09the world has ever seen. Do you have bigger bags for atlases or dictionaries, sir?
00:16Number 30, Charles Ray Fuller. Who amongst us wouldn't love $360 billion? Unfortunately,
00:24you can't just waltz into a bank and hand the teller a check for that amount.
00:27Maybe that might, you know, cause a red flag at the bank that you were trying to cash a $360
00:33billion check. Well, it turns out you can. Just ask Charles Ray Fuller. In 2008, Fuller walked into
00:42a bank in Fort Worth, Texas with a personal check in the amount of $360 billion. He claimed his
00:49girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record company. Unsurprisingly, bank employees
00:54immediately notified the authorities, and teller was arrested for forgery.
00:58My favorite part of the article says, tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious.
01:04Perhaps it was a 10 zeros on the personal check that tipped them off.
01:07Even worse, he was carrying both illicit substances and a handgun at the time of his arrest.
01:13So he was also hit with charges of drug possession and unlawful carrying of a weapon. Oops.
01:18Because we do these stories every week. You're driving next to a guy that's that dumb. They're
01:25everywhere. Number 29, Peter Kavanaugh. It's a tale as old as time. A criminal takes a picture
01:32of themselves doing something illegal, which ultimately lands them in jail. Believe it or
01:37not, jail right away. Back in 2013, a man named Peter Kavanaugh worked with a London mob delivering
01:43shipments of drugs. While returning with the cash, Kavanaugh whipped out his mobile phone and
01:48took photos of himself with the massive stack of money.
01:51No pain, yeah!
01:53But he wasn't counting on two of his dealers getting caught. After the two women were arrested
01:57for possession, they led the police straight to Kavanaugh, who was busted thanks to those
02:02damning photos on his phone. He was swiftly arrested and thrown in prison for three years.
02:08I've made a huge mistake.
02:10Number 28, Hannah Sabata. Taking a selfie is one thing. Openly bragging about robbing a bank
02:17on tape and then uploading it to YouTube is a whole new level of bold.
02:21Is bold the right word?
02:22But believe it or not, that's exactly what 19-year-old Hannah Sabata did back in 2012.
02:28Sabata stole $6,000 from a Nebraska bank and then made an incriminating video in which she
02:34admitted to the crime and flashed the cash.
02:36It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him.
02:39This video was uploaded to YouTube by user Jelly Beanie under the title Chick Bank Robber,
02:45and it has since amassed over 2 million views thanks to its notoriety.
02:50Sabata was arrested the same day the video was uploaded. Imagine that.
02:54I'm shocked.
02:55Number 27, Adam Vallee.
02:58We don't know if committing a crime right in front of a police station is recklessly brave
03:03or ridiculously stupid.
03:05A little from column A, a little from column B.
03:07Probably the latter.
03:08In December of 2018, 26-year-old Adam Vallee waltzed right up to the front door of the
03:15Gladstone Police Department in Oregon and tried stealing a locked bike.
03:19Police inside instantly noticed the crime on their surveillance cameras and watched in
03:24complete disbelief as Vallee attempted to break the lock.
03:29Is he for real?
03:30Officers simply walked out the front door and confronted Vallee, who probably couldn't believe
03:35that he had been caught.
03:36How did that happen? Surely it had nothing to do with the cameras everywhere, or the
03:41front door, or the window right beside him with Gladstone Police written on it.
03:46Well, when you put it that way.
03:48Yeah.
03:49Number 26, the loud getaway donkey.
03:52This sounds like one of those fake news stories you'd read about in The Onion, but it's 100%
03:57true. Three criminals in the Colombian town of Juan de Acosta stole a number of items from
04:03a local shop and made their getaway on a stolen donkey. And they would have gotten away with it,
04:08too, if it wasn't for that darned donkey.
04:10All right, I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.
04:14You see, the tired animal started to bray loudly and drew the attention of some nearby police officers.
04:21The thieves immediately bailed when the police sauntered over, leaving behind both the donkey
04:25and the stolen goods. The items were returned to the shop, and the donkey was safely reunited
04:31with its owner.
04:32I'm a donkey on the edge!
04:34Number 25, free beer.
04:37Who can deny the allure of free beer? Certainly not these 19 English criminals who fell for an
04:43oddly genius police sting.
04:45Hey, wait a minute.
04:47What about the old stinkeroo?
04:50Yeah, I'm in.
04:51The Derbyshire police had a number of wanted suspects who had evaded capture, and they were
04:57running out of options. So they cooked up a plan, offered them free beer, and see who takes the
05:02bait. They phoned the suspects, posing as a company giving away crates of beer, and made a simple
05:07arrangement. Meet up at a specific location at a specific time, and they would hand over the beer,
05:13just like that. When the criminals arrived, they were greeted not by company men and free booze,
05:18but by police and handcuffs. How they fell for that one is beyond us.
05:22You're really good at that, Lloyd.
05:24I learned from the best.
05:25Number 24, Matthew McNally and Joey Miller.
05:29There are tons of ways to hide your face. Stockings, ski masks, those old-timey bandanas,
05:36and a permanent marker?
05:38Sharpie.
05:38Genius.
05:39Back in 2009, criminals Matthew McNally and Joey Miller tried breaking into a house in Carroll,
05:45Iowa. Witnesses described their getaway car to police, who quickly tracked it down and pulled
05:50it over. Inside were the two men, their faces scribbled with permanent marker like a coloring
05:56book that had felt the presence of a couple of toddlers. The men's hilarious mugshots were later
06:01released to the public, and the entire world couldn't stop laughing. The local police chief
06:06later claimed that it was the funniest thing he had seen in nearly 30 years on the force.
06:15Number 23, Peter Addison.
06:18Now, we're certainly not condoning it, but if you break into a place, maybe don't write your real name
06:23on the wall. No one gave Peter Addison that terrific bit of advice. Addison broke into a
06:29Cheshire campground and trashed the place, leaving behind a mess and some messages written on the
06:35walls. One of them read, thanks for the stay, and of course, another read, Peter Addison was here.
06:41Police got Addison's personal information, and when they arrived to question him, he was wearing a
06:46t-shirt that was stolen from the camp. You know, just in case you thought it couldn't get any dumber.
06:51It can! Oh, baby, it can! Addison was arrested and ordered to pay £750 in fines.
06:59Number 22, Shaquille McKinney. Hey, it's tough out there for a salesman.
07:04Counter it, clip it. Sometimes you have to make cold calls, and that's exactly what teenage salesman
07:10Shaquille McKinney did. Just that the product that he was marketing to potential customers was cannabis.
07:15Sweet Mary Jane is my vice of choice, as you well know. Of course, I'm addicted to...
07:21selling it, not consuming it. Yep, McKinney made a number of cold calls throughout the Pinellas
07:25County area in Florida, asking people if they needed some of the green stuff. Unfortunately,
07:31one of those people was a Gulfport police detective. He arranged to meet McKinney at a
07:35nearby school, and when the young boy arrived to deliver the drugs, he found a number of officers
07:40waiting for him. He was charged with drug possession with intent to distribute within 1,000 feet of a
07:46school. Feel manipulated. Thought we were gonna hang out.
07:50Number 21, Mgonga Mgonga. We don't know what's dumber. Stealing a car while you're out on bond,
07:57or stealing a car that you don't know how to drive.
07:59Not everybody knows how to do everything. Driving isn't the only thing.
08:03Teenager Mgonga Mgonga carjacked a woman named Melissa Peters as she was driving her kid to school.
08:09He hopped in her Dodge Caliber hatchback, but didn't get far, being unable to work the manual stick shift.
08:15Instead, he simply sat there in a panic, flicking the lights and turning on the wipers in a desperate
08:20attempt to work the transmission.
08:24That's just the horn.
08:25I don't know that, do I?
08:28He was doing that for seven minutes while people around him called the cops. They soon arrived and
08:34arrested Mgonga, sending him back to jail.
08:37Number 20, the doorbell liquor.
08:39You might not be familiar with Salinas, California, but it's the hometown of a few famous folks,
08:45writer John Steinbeck, performer Vanessa Hudgens, and of course, 33-year-old Roberto Daniel Arroyo,
08:51perhaps more commonly known as the doorbell liquor.
08:54Sylvia Dungan's decision to install a ring doorbell camera into her front door yielded a pretty curious
09:00home movie, starring Arroyo as he licked her doorbell for three whole hours.
09:05He's into this. He is really into this.
09:12As the case went viral online, police quickly caught up with him.
09:15They pointed out that the clear quality of the footage made him much easier to identify.
09:20So, a word of advice to would-be doorknob lickers, maybe make sure to check for a camera
09:24before going about your licking.
09:26That's why the doorknob and this is completely white, because I wiped it down with four medical
09:33grade sanitary clots.
09:35Number 19. Dennis Hawkins
09:37Wearing a disguise is great for concealing one's identity if one is going to commit a crime.
09:46Someone should have told Dennis Hawkins that in order for a disguise to work, however,
09:50it has to be somewhat believable.
09:52Sit up and take a look, Gary.
10:00It's uncanny.
10:01Hawkins apparently missed that memo as he attempted to rob a bank wearing clown pants with a pair of fake breasts and a blonde wig.
10:08Sorry, um, um, they're new.
10:10Dr. Druffman did an amazing job.
10:13It feels so real.
10:14Not only did he fail to cover his face, which still had a goatee and mustache, but the disguise also attracted attention, and the police easily apprehended him.
10:24Number 18. Daniel Glenn
10:26I need you to arrest me.
10:28It's important to be prepared, especially if you're going to rob a store.
10:31It's possible to be too prepared, though, which is exactly what happened to Daniel Glenn,
10:36who inexplicably decided to call ahead to ask the store how much cash was in the register.
10:41Imagine how that conversation went.
10:43Hello, I'd like to place a takeout order for all the money.
10:46Can I get fries with that?
10:47Confused and slightly alarmed, the store owner immediately called the police, who arrested Glenn on his way to the store.
10:54Number 17. Tony Vann
10:56Breaking the law requires a certain audacity.
10:59But Tony Vann, a 37-year-old San Francisco hairstylist, took this to a new level when he drove a stolen car to his own trial.
11:07Vann was facing charges for possessing a stolen $125,000 Porsche Carrera,
11:13so maybe he thought no one would notice when he arrived at court in a stolen Lexus instead.
11:23When Yorkshire puppies he'd left inside escaped through a window, sheriff's deputies noticed and ran the license plate.
11:30He was charged with possession of a stolen car and computer, as well as animal cruelty.
11:34Number 16. Trevor Jones
11:37Ever just want to check your Facebook one more time?
11:4134-year-old Trevor Jones couldn't resist when he broke into a house in Gwinnett County, Georgia, in November 2011.
11:48Unfortunately for him, he used the home computer to log in.
11:51To be fair, it's no wonder he wanted some social media downtime.
11:54A woman whose house he'd tried to rob earlier had seen his car, taken his keys and wallet, and called the police.
12:01Jones had to swim a pond to escape before breaking into another nearby house.
12:05Still, he probably should have logged out of Facebook before leaving.
12:09Instead, he gave police everything they needed to identify him and issue arrest warrants.
12:15Number 15. Albert Bailey
12:17Police in Connecticut say they had ample warning of a bank robbery because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time, telling an employee to get a bag of money ready.
12:27We're going to say this now. If you're planning on robbing a store or bank, don't call ahead and ask them suspicious questions or warn them that you're coming.
12:35We are the ex-presidents. And as you can see, we are in fact robbing your bank. So with a little cooperation, I won't have to blow your heads off.
12:43Seemingly inspired by our previous entry, Albert Bailey called the bank and told him he was coming to rob them so that they would have the money ready for him when he got there.
12:52He even had an accomplice enter the bank with a note informing the tellers who Bailey was.
12:57Open the damn door!
12:58Obviously, the tellers had called the police, who apprehended Bailey immediately.
13:02Hold it right there. You're going to arrest. I'm taking you away.
13:05Number 14. R.C. Gateland
13:07Curiosity killed the cat, and it also caught the criminal.
13:11In 1988, R.C. Gateland came across some friendly Detroit police officers who were showing off their squad car's computer to a few local kids.
13:20His interest peaked. Gateland approached the officers and asked them to give him a demonstration, voluntarily giving them his driver's license so they could run a background check.
13:28The cops complied and discovered Gateland had an outstanding arrest warrant for armed robbery.
13:34It wasn't outstanding for much longer. The police arrested Gateland on the spot.
13:38Still, he must have been impressed at how well the technology worked.
13:42Number 13. The Living Dead Burglar
13:44There are times when playing dead might be a smart idea.
13:48In the animal world, the Virginia opossum plays dead to avoid predators, and some fish feign death to attract prey.
13:55But when a 23-year-old man broke into a Spanish funeral home in March 2008, he learned it isn't the most successful strategy in the human world.
14:03When police arrived to investigate the reported break-in, this man tried to fool them by lying on a table in a glass chamber used for wakes.
14:11Police were tipped off when they noticed that, for a corpse, he was awfully alive. Breathing and everything.
14:18Number 12. Christian Bala
14:19Polish intellectual Christian Bala believed he could get away with murder. He's now serving 25 years in prison.
14:28To commit a crime, you have to be slightly arrogant. If you get away with the crime, this arrogance can increase to the point where you feel untouchable.
14:35After murdering Dariusz Januszewski in 2000, Polish author Christian Bala wrote a novel titled Amok, which featured an eerily similar murderer and details of the case only the murderer himself could have been privy to.
14:48The torture and murder of advertising executive Dariusz Januszewski goes unsolved for nearly three years, until Christian Bala posts extracts of his first violent novel on his blog.
15:02Police uncovered clues relating to the murder, most of which came from the novel, eventually arresting and charging Bala.
15:08It was a very personal murder. You know, he had a score to settle.
15:12To their shock, they discovered on his computer plans to kill another person to tie in with the next novel he was planning to write.
15:18From his cell, Bala still rankles at how his novel was interpreted by the police.
15:23Bala's infamy lives on. In 2017, Amok was adapted into a feature film by director Kasia Ademik.
15:31Number 11. Christopher Cron
15:33It's only polite to answer the phone. It could be someone important, like the company that monitors the alarm you just tripped.
15:40On the night of his birthday, 47-year-old Christopher Cron broke into the Junkanoo bar on Fort Myers Beach to steal a bottle of Grand Marnier.
15:48When the alarm company called, he not only answered the phone, but also gave his full name.
15:53Because he hadn't hidden his face either, police were able to identify and arrest him the next day based on video surveillance of the break-in.
16:00Number 10. Eloise D. Reeves
16:03Buying drugs is an art, because you don't have the option to exchange or refund your purchases if you don't like the product you get.
16:14Apparently, no one told this to Eloise Reeves, who had the gall to go to the police to complain about the quality of the crack cocaine she'd just bought.
16:22She reportedly pulled the crack rock from her mouth and placed it on the cop car for the deputy to inspect.
16:27What do you need?
16:28Uh, one please.
16:30One what?
16:31Uh, one rock of crack.
16:34One crack.
16:35A crack rock.
16:36Is that enough?
16:36She was charged with the possession of cocaine and fined roughly $1,500.
16:41Number 9. Jonathan Ochola
16:43People have busy lives, and sometimes the only way to keep track of important events and dates is by keeping a diary.
16:49Dear diary, Sleeping Beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow, but Dad says I can't go.
16:55He never lets me out after sunset.
16:57It might be a good idea to leave out any planned criminal activity, however.
17:01This seemingly never registered with Jonathan Ochola, who on June 12, 2010, wrote,
17:07Go Portsmouth Robbery Happens, in his diary.
17:09Your diary proved very interesting to read.
17:12You read my, you read my journal?
17:14The police were able to link him to the robbery as the getaway driver, and when confronted, Ochola attempted to blame it entirely on his buddy.
17:21Arrest him.
17:23It's his fault.
17:23There is plenty of fault to be passed around.
17:27Number 8. Mark Smith
17:28We aren't sure if there's a criminal handbook, but we have to guess that falling asleep in the house you're robbing has to be high on the things not to do list.
17:36Mark Smith must not have read that page.
17:38By dinner, I popped a few more on top of some cocktails and a Valium or two.
17:42Smith decided to take a quick nap under his victim's bed, drunk on vodka and high on Valium, only to be discovered by the homeowner, who immediately called the police.
17:51I'm not off. I wake up in strange places. I have no idea how I got there.
17:55You need to lighten up.
17:56We've heard of cat burglars before, but Smith seems to associate more with cat nappers.
18:01Where am I? What's going on?
18:04We're behind you!
18:05Number 7. Christopher Koch
18:07In any criminal endeavor, there's plenty that can go wrong.
18:11But step one is actually getting inside the building you hope to rob.
18:1428-year-old Christopher Koch should have looked at the opening hours before attempting to rob a Citizens and Northern Bank in Liberty, Pennsylvania.
18:21Wearing a ski mask and gloves, he rushed the door, only to find the bank had just closed.
18:26To be completely fair, what kind of bank closes at noon?
18:29As Koch sheepishly retreated, employees inside wrote down his license plate number, and he was later arrested.
18:36And I want you to call the police. I want to go back to jail. Please.
18:38Number 6. Derek Mosley
18:40So we know you're not supposed to bring a gun to a knife fight, but what about a baseball bat?
18:44Revolvers. Revolvers.
18:47This is exactly what Derek Mosley did as he tried to rob a gun shop and steal a firearm, equipped only with a baseball bat and a knife.
18:58It's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. It doesn't have that wrath of the almighty edge to it.
19:05Of course, the manager pulled out his own gun and held Mosley until the police arrived.
19:10Who would have imagined that the manager of a gun store would possess his own gun? Will wonders never cease?
19:15You can't do that.
19:17No. 5. Michael Anthony Fuller
19:21If you're already committing a crime, why not go big?
19:25In 2011, a 53-year-old North Carolina man tried to use a $1 million bill to buy a microwave, a vacuum cleaner, and other merchandise at Walmart.
19:34That must be worth a fortune.
19:36The total price of the goods was $476, so he was apparently fairly optimistic about how much change Walmart keeps in their registers.
19:44Unfortunately, the cashier didn't have $999,524 on him and knew there's no such thing as a $1 million bill, leading to Fuller's arrest.
19:54As it turns out, sometimes when it comes to going big or going home, you should probably just go home.
19:59Now give it back.
20:01Give what back?
20:02A fake ID is a teenage rite of passage.
20:09But when you show a fake ID, you should make sure you're not handing it to the actual owner.
20:14You know, the one whose face is on the ID you're holding in your hand?
20:17That's what happened to one 26-year-old woman at Appleby's in 2013, when she showed the waitress Brianna Pretty her own driver's license as proof of age.
20:26It had been stolen with a bunch of other possessions a month earlier.
20:29Can't we resolve this conflict without anger?
20:32Instead of bringing her customer a margarita, Brianna brought the cops, and the thief was caught red-handed.
20:39Number 3. Ruben Zarate
20:41Open the safe, Pops.
20:43Open the goddamn safe!
20:45Deciding to rob a muffler shop, Ruben Zarate brought a gun and demanded the money, only to discover that the money was in the safe that could only be opened by the absent store manager.
20:54Now, I know you come back here to open your safe.
20:59So now you can open it?
21:02He decided it would be a good idea to leave his number with the store employees so that they could call him when the manager returned.
21:08Of course, they called the police, who set a trap for Zarate and arrested him.
21:12Excuse me?
21:13He's being placed under arrest.
21:14Are you kidding?
21:15Hands behind your back, sir.
21:16I'm trying to help here.
21:17Heck, we're just surprised Zarate didn't leave his name, address, and social security number, too.
21:22Drop the gun, you are under arrest.
21:24Number 2. Robber of Halifax Bank in London
21:27Committing a crime is a stressful endeavor, and mistakes do happen.
21:32If there's one thing all robbers should remember, however, it's that your gun is your most valuable asset.
21:37This particular robber seemed to forget that fact as he attempted to rob the Halifax Bank in London.
21:42Put the money in the bag.
21:44Demanding the teller fill the bag with money, he accidentally gave away his gun to the teller instead of the bag.
21:50After a brief moment of confusion, the bank worker retreated, forcing the robber to flee.
21:55At least he managed to escape with a bank employee's bicycle, and so we still don't know his name.
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22:16Number 1. MacArthur Wheeler
22:18When he was arrested for robbing two banks in Pittsburgh in 1995, MacArthur Wheeler was genuinely incredulous.
22:25His logic had been impeccable.
22:27Lemon juice is used in invisible ink, therefore if he rubbed his face with lemon juice, no one would be able to see his face.
22:34Right?
22:35Right.
22:37Psychologists who studied the case named it the Dunning-Kruger effect,
22:40a cognitive bias in which unskilled people are least able to perceive their own incompetence, and so become overconfident.
22:47In other words, when people are really dumb, they can't see how dumb they really are.
22:52Do you know of any more silly criminal stories?
22:55Let us know in the comments.
22:57Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
22:59Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
23:01Did you enjoy this video?
23:03Check out these other clips from WatchMojo,
23:05and be sure to subscribe and ring the bell to be notified about our latest videos.
23:17WatchMojo, and be sure to subscribe to our final episode if you wydaje in the comments below.
23:25I just want to hear why it's freaking beautiful.
23:26I hope so.
23:38This is going to be correct at your luck.
23:40Let's be right back.
23:41Let me in the surprinct.
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