00:00I'm Dora Miller, the ice hockey team's assistant that no one cares about.
00:20I love this job, mostly because it keeps me close to Leo, my crush since childhood.
00:30Wait, did Leo really stop to help me?
00:53I always believed that one day Leo would see me more than an assistant.
00:59You just got pucked, Dora.
01:06But back then, I had no idea how dangerous dreams could be, and how badly people could get hurt.
01:16It all started when I got an early birthday present from my parents.
01:23Happy birthday to my dearest daughter. We love you so much.
01:34I totally forgot I was only one month away from turning 18.
01:38Get with Leo, lose my big card.
01:51You followed Leo to college for nothing.
01:57Idiot.
01:58To die a virgin.
01:59No.
02:00If you want it, you're going to have to make it happen.
02:04Dora Miller, just tell Leo how you feel.
02:10Stop being such a pussy and go for it.
02:17Dora.
02:18Can it wait?
02:19I'm just, I'm a little busy.
02:24Leo, I have been in love with you for years. I think we would make a great team. I've been saving myself for you, and I want you to be the one to take my virginity next month before my 18th birthday.
02:49Oh my god!
02:59What did she just say?
03:00She's a virgin. L-M-A-O.
03:02How sweet. A pleading little virgin.
03:10Oh, don't let me stop you, Dora.
03:13What else do you have to say to Leo?
03:18Pretty. Hey. I didn't realize you were on the toilet.
03:27It's funny. Something in the toilet made me think of you, and then I heard your needy voice.
03:33I can't believe you're still a virgin.
03:36Wait. I totally can.
03:41But I do love what you've done with your hair.
03:50Don't have a mustache?
03:52I'll just...I'll leave you guys. Go.
03:57And this...it's interesting.
04:02Women have a choice for...they can be appealing, or they can be you.
04:11I like this cardigan.
04:14Mmm. So would my great-great-great-grandmother.
04:20Leo's hot. You're not.
04:23Leo's rich. Poor. We're in your out.
04:26Repeat that to yourself when you go and cry into your greasy pillow.
04:31Mindy.
04:32Know your place, nerd.
04:34In the library, but in your nose with the other magnets.
04:38Now, you could just, uh, finish up with some tears for my followers.
04:55What the hell? I'm not expecting money from anyone, especially this much.
05:18Oh!
05:19Uh.
05:36Do
05:40You need a towel just for?
05:43Why?
05:45we're spoiling good
05:48oh come on it's not that bad i just told leo that i was in love with them but mindy was there
05:55so now the whole school's gonna know that i'm a virgin are you in there trying to slip on some
06:01guy in the shower come on i know you're in there virgin i can smell library dust and eyeglass cleaner
06:18oh troy no virgins here but you already knew that right goodbye ex-boyfriend
06:31thank you
06:41oh that's so fast you are the ignorer i saved you now you own it big time
06:51no way guys like you only want one thing
06:57sometimes help pass him out
07:00listen i've got a really weird text situation and i know you're good with that kind of stuff
07:07but it's got to be kept real secret if you got a virus from the porn site that's your own problem
07:11no no some stranger's putting money into my account and i'm worried they're setting me up to make it
07:17look like i'm throwing games match fixing that also sounds super dodgy i'm not touching it
07:25wait what if we did a deal you help me and i help you get leo
07:34boom swinging for fifth base in no time
07:37it's a sexual reference for you wants to have sex
07:43leo
07:45it's not just sex
07:48i love leo
07:50i've been waiting for him
07:53so do we have a deal
07:55okay but i need to clear something up
07:58fifth base i thought it was fourth
08:01you got some work to do
08:04you think i'm a joke
08:06it's called teasing door
08:09do you want leo or not
08:12so
08:14you teach me how to flirt and you know
08:18do things
08:20you want me to teach you how to kiss
08:25i just want to know what leo will expect
08:35i'm not super familiar with this stuff
08:39all right
08:44maybe we should tackle it in order
08:47list it for me
08:49flirting fashion technique
08:51okay so you spend some time thinking about this
08:54all right
08:55flirting skills first and then boom
08:58fifth base
08:59sounds good
09:00just uh
09:01don't forget about fashion
09:02and we need a deadline
09:04how about the fundraiser dance for the hockey team
09:06you can make a big move there
09:08it's only two weeks away
09:10calm down
09:11you're not that hopeless
09:12we can meet up tomorrow morning to discuss tactics
09:15okay
09:17sounds good
09:18oh my whole life is gonna change
09:21go team
09:23oh
09:25turkey
09:26gotcha
09:27dora
09:35just the person i wanted to see
09:37oh shit
09:38i wanted to say that i'm sorry
09:41about yesterday
09:42you did
09:44yeah
09:46i was just feeling really insecure because
09:49i really like leo
09:51i shouldn't have reacted that way
09:55yeah
09:56okay
09:58thanks
10:00did you hear about the cake party that's happening tonight
10:03you should totally come
10:04all of us lost our b cards at cake parties
10:08didn't we girls
10:09totally
10:12what the hell dora do you even live here
10:32it's so freaking neat
10:33i like that it's organized
10:35what are you doing
10:39checking to see if your underwear is color coded
10:42you probably have mass solution of the week on it
10:46my underwear is none of your business
10:51i mean
10:54it kind of is
10:56if you want my help landing leo
10:59can we
11:01please stop talking about my underwear
11:03just what are you doing
11:24you have such incredible eyes dora
11:28i never noticed how beautiful they are before
11:33they're just eyes
11:38i have two of them
11:40like everyone else
11:41come on dora
11:44i was flirting with you
11:45this is why i need help
11:47why couldn't i see what you were doing
11:52just be open to signals
11:55don't be dora the ignorer
11:58can i bore you
12:01why would you care
12:04because you have such beautiful eyes
12:16you're flirting again
12:22yeah
12:25you're supposed to say something flirty back
12:28something flirty back
12:30i know
12:34i will practice on leo
12:36at the party tonight
12:37what do you think
12:39why not
12:40but just remember
12:43you still got your training wheels on
12:44don't expect miracles
12:46we'll need to have another flirting lesson
12:48we'll need to have another flirting lesson
13:02alright
13:04why don't you have us a drink?
13:05just
13:07try to be cool
13:09dude
13:10when am i not cool?
13:16oh my god there's leo
13:18you're worth a million of him
13:20but you have no idea
13:22yeah
13:23good luck
13:24there we go
13:29there we go
13:30hey
13:36hey
13:38i thought you were staring at me from over there
13:42was i?
13:46i'm sorry if i was weird yesterday
13:48you don't gotta say it
13:50i mean he's a bitch
13:52and you're awesome
13:54awesome
13:55i am
13:56i am
13:57i am
14:08hey
14:09hey
14:10sorry i don't need to interrupt
14:11interrupt
14:12this is cool
14:13cool
14:14cool
14:15yeah
14:16sorry if i was being weird yesterday
14:20you don't gotta say it, it's cool
14:23oh, okay
14:25yes she does
14:29doesn't she girls?
14:31whatever it is
14:33whatever it is
14:35and i think it is her vagina
14:39it's like a vagina
14:41only a dryer
14:43we call it
14:44adora
14:49what the hell do you think you're doing?
14:51i'm doing nothing
14:53she needs you
14:55because
14:56you're nothing
14:58oh
15:00i thought you were talking about how much lube you need
15:02she buys an inventi size tube
15:06fuck you
15:07but with how many guys you're seeing
15:09it's probably up to trenta, right?
15:11oh
15:13that's the hardest one
15:14don't you dare laugh
15:19oh, it's about me all of a sudden
15:21what are you seeing her?
15:31Dora the boar
15:32what does her bony body make your boner look bigger?
15:38she's great
15:42it's as simple as that, Mindy
15:45do you know what it'll do for my reputation if your first girlfriend after me is some pathetic little needy virgin?
15:52why does Dora being a virgin bother you so much?
15:59i think it's kinda sweet
16:01this is just the start you sexless ironing board
16:07get ready for the plan i have specifically for you in five minutes
16:18come on, i'll tell you something about it
16:32wait here, i'll grab you some drinks and some snacks
16:39Leo, i have been in love with you for years
16:52i think we'd make a great team
16:54i've been saving myself for you
16:56and i want you to be the one to take my virginity before my 18th birthday next month
17:03ow, that's a real chick and the lady nuts
17:07could you beat any more dust than this?
17:11i don't know
17:13can you, Dora?
17:15ready? okay
17:17take my virginity
17:19take my virginity
17:21take my virginity
17:23take my virginity
17:43please, stop
17:47please, let me go
17:50please, let me go
17:51you
17:54there
18:16Daniel, where are you?
18:21I hope Leo doesn't see me like this.
18:27Please.
18:30Mom, honey, you wanna go?
18:33Please.
18:35You can go.
18:37We just wanna hear you say it.
18:39One more time.
18:41Say, take my virginity.
18:45Say it.
18:47Say it!
18:49Say it!
18:51Say it!
18:55That's enough!
18:57That's enough!
19:07And you wonder why guys keep leaving you.
19:11I don't care what anyone says.
19:14When someone starts shit with me, I always finish it.
19:18You're wrong.
19:21I'll finish it.
19:22I'll finish it.
19:24I'll finish it.
19:28I'll finish it.
19:29I'll get you to show you.
19:45Sorry.
19:51I'm usually a crier.
19:56You can't let me get to, okay, you need to fight back, like with a shark.
20:03You just need to punch her in the nose.
20:09Why do you care if she bullies me?
20:14You remind me of my little sister.
20:18Is she a pitiful virgin loser, too?
20:22I mean, she's eight.
20:24I really hope so.
20:27It reminds you of an eight-year-old?
20:29Oh, no.
20:33Stop crying.
20:37It's all gonna be okay.
20:39Yeah.
20:41It's easy for you to say.
20:43You have to go to the hockey team.
20:46Everyone loves you.
20:49And I'm just...
20:52Dora.
20:58I happen to think you're pretty great.
21:02And that should count for something, since I'm apparently so amazing.
21:13I thought you just said that at the party to mess with Mindy.
