- 6 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Hello, what can I get for you?
00:22Hey, I'll have the smash burger and just a cup of black coffee.
00:28Perfect. My name is Delilah, let me know if you need anything else, okay?
00:32Yeah, my name is George.
00:36Okay, I'll be back with your meal.
00:42Check for you whenever you're ready.
00:46Oh, no, um...
00:48Oh, let me guess, no money?
00:50I just think I left my wallet at home.
00:53Starving actor?
00:56Um, yeah, I'm just down on my luck.
01:00Don't worry about it. I'll cover you this time, okay?
01:04Really? Look, I'll pay you back. I promise.
01:07Just get out of here.
01:10Go.
01:11Okay.
01:13Maybe there still are some good women after all.
01:20Nothing?
01:21Nothing.
01:22What do you mean she gets nothing?
01:24She signed a prenup. She's entitled to nothing.
01:27Let me see that.
01:29This looks like a marriage license.
01:36You told me I was signing our marriage certificate.
01:41You should have read the fine print.
01:43You tricked her?
01:45Shame on you.
01:46Okay, can we go? I have a nail appointment.
01:48Whore!
01:50You do, however, get child support.
01:53Wait, what?
01:55I'm sorry. That's the law.
01:58Well, fuck the law.
02:09Andy, you're having an affair with your secretary?
02:12I want a divorce. I think it's time you find your own place.
02:15Fine. I want a divorce.
02:17I'm a horrible mother.
02:42My sketches? Andy, you told me that you would show those to the design department.
02:55Delilah, you're a housewife. You're not a designer.
03:05Perfect.
03:08Roland, there's another leak in the ceiling.
03:12I'm getting bored. I want to go lie down.
03:37Sure. I'll keep an eye on things.
03:40The fuck? You need to get out of my room.
03:50I said you need to get out of my room.
03:55Everyone out.
03:57This is my house. This is my life. So get out!
04:01Get everyone the fuck out of here now.
04:03All right, people. Party's over. Let's go. Party's over.
04:08Party's over.
04:09Party's over.
04:10Party's over.
04:15Party's over.
04:16Party's over.
04:18Party's over.
04:20Party's over.
04:42I'm back.
04:44Hey, this is the money that I owe you.
04:51What can I get for you?
04:52I'll take a black coffee.
04:53Coffee?
04:54Yeah.
04:55Sure.
04:57Be back with that.
04:58Okay.
05:01Let me guess, acting not going so well?
05:06I've hit a bit of a dry patch, yeah.
05:08I don't believe in love.
05:12Fine, I want a divorce.
05:15Did you hear him?
05:16I ruined my son.
05:17Your son is fantastic, but Benji needs to be in love if he's ever going to hire himself.
05:22Just try to keep your heart open.
05:24If not for yourself, for Benji.
05:25I think I have an idea.
05:28Okay, what is that?
05:31I want to hire you.
05:34You want to hire me?
05:35To pretend to be in love with me.
05:37An acting gig.
05:39I really want my son to see what it looks like for someone to love me.
05:43You know, like a happy couple.
05:47Oh, um, yeah.
05:49I cannot pay you much, but it seems like you need the money.
05:57What do you say?
06:01Deal.
06:02Deal.
06:07Deal.
06:08Deal.
06:09Deal.
06:10Deal.
06:11Deal.
06:12Deal.
06:13Deal.
06:14Come on.
06:15Two more.
06:16Last one.
06:17Okay.
06:18Good work.
06:19Good work.
06:20Yeah.
06:21Hey, can I tell you something?
06:22Well, that's never good.
06:24You ready?
06:25As ready as I could be.
06:28I'm gonna be an actor.
06:30You what?
06:31Look, some waitress, someone needed my help and I agreed.
06:36You realize you're a famous billionaire, right?
06:39Yeah, she doesn't know that part yet, but, um, look man, she's super sweet and she, um,
06:45and she wants to show her son that love is real.
06:49Totally normal request.
06:50Look, man, I just need something.
06:51Something different.
06:52You know, I can't do this anymore.
06:53I'm just sick of this lifestyle and it just feels so empty.
06:56Okay, so let me get this straight.
06:57You got hired to pretend to be some waitress's boyfriend?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Okay.
07:02Crazier things have happened.
07:03I got your back, boss.
07:04Thanks, Dino.
07:05And you'll see, she's great.
07:06Whatever you say, boss.
07:07Another set?
07:08Okay.
07:09Okay.
07:10Crazy things have happened.
07:11I got your back, boss.
07:12Thanks, Dino.
07:13And you'll see, she's great.
07:14Whatever you say, boss.
07:15Another set?
07:16Okay.
07:17Oh, my God.
07:20Why you agreed to pay the bills is beyond me, Sharon.
07:24No idea what you're doing.
07:26I...
07:27What's this?
07:29Oh, no.
07:31Stew.
07:32It's not good.
07:34Urgent child support.
07:39Last notice of child support must pay.
07:48We'll not be paying that.
07:58I don't know.
07:59I don't know.
08:00I don't know.
08:01Maybe.
08:02I don't know.
08:03I don't know.
08:04I don't know.
08:05I don't know.
08:06I don't know.
08:07Oh, fuck.
08:08No.
08:09No, no, no, no.
08:14Fucking hell.
08:16Hello, Delilah.
08:19You look quite nice tonight.
08:24tonight. Why, thank you, George. You look quite nice as well. Why, thank you, George. You
08:39look quite nice too. Can I offer you something to drink? No, thank you. I'm fine. This is
08:58going to be great. Okay. Come on, Benji. Come on. You can do it, Benji. Come on. Come
09:13on, Benji. Hit the ball for once. Let's go, Benji. You're doing great. Hey, Tony. Hey, Delilah.
09:23Looking good as always. Looking good as always. Somebody likes you. Shut up. All right, Benji.
09:31He does. Nice with that dribble. Nice.
09:41Oh, my God. That's him.
09:43That's who? Uh, the guy that I hired to pretend to be my boyfriend. Delilah, what are you
09:55talking about? He's coming over. What are you talking about? Hey, George. Hey, Delilah.
10:07Oh, for Christ's sake. Man up, boy. Don't say that. Oh, my God. Can I go? I'm
10:13so bored. Oh, for fuck's sake. Thank God. I have a mini-pedi. Oh, come on. Let's get
10:18out of here. You don't want to say hi to him? No. It's a little harsh to say to your kid.
10:25Who the fuck are you? I'm George. I'm Delilah's new boyfriend.
10:34Delilah's new boyfriend. Yes. Yeah, we are dating. What, do they run out of pizza boys,
10:42son? He's an actor. Oh, he's an actor. That makes it even better. Wow. You are such a
10:49riot, Delilah. Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you proved me wrong. What's
10:53that, bud? Nothing. We got to get out of here. Wish you two the best.
11:01Hey, asshole. Where's the child support? Don't worry, Boobie. I'll handle it. You just focus
11:12on making the ka-ching. I think I just womaned in my mouth. All right, I think I'm going to
11:20get going, but I'll see you tomorrow for the date, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Our date. See
11:27you tomorrow. Girl, you better tell me everything now.
11:35No, no, no, no, no. You're not supposed to do that. I'm a starving artist. They have
11:47lint on their shirts. I still think this is a harebrained idea. Dino, this is the first
11:53time in my life where I can be a normal person. Nobody after my money or my status or what I
11:59can do for them. Delilah doesn't want anything from me. She just wants me to play a role.
12:06I do have to say, it's nice to see you smile again.
12:10Hmm. Yeah, it's going to be nice. You'll see. And you should take the night off. Take Janice
12:19out to dinner on me. Hell no, boss. I'm keeping an eye on you from a distance. No, it'll be
12:25fine. Nobody will know who I am. That may be the case, but you're still one of the
12:29richest men in the world, and I ain't taking any chances. Do not follow me. Yes, boss. Later.
12:51Hey, how are you? I'm George. I'm Benji.
12:54Well, hello. Hello there. How are you? I am very excited about our date. I am looking
13:04forward to our date as well. Won't you come in? Ah, yes. Thank you.
13:11Oh, my. Bad plumbing is making the roof leak. We have a lousy landlord. Ah, but you look
13:28quite nice tonight. Why, thank you, George. You look quite nice as well.
13:37Why are you guys acting so weird? Hi. I'm Roland, the babysitter. I think it's time
13:43for you to get going. Yes. Yes. Um, yeah. What if? Yeah.
13:48That was so strange. I know.
13:51Well, that didn't go too well. Yeah, no Academy Award for us. Maybe we should practice.
14:06That sounds good, yeah.
14:10Uh, so what are you going to do for the next couple hours while we're on our supposed date?
14:16Yeah, probably go eat. I hear there's a nice Italian restaurant around the corner.
14:24Yeah, it's pretty good. What are you going to do?
14:27Uh, same. Probably grab a bite to eat. Maybe hit a bookstore.
14:33Well, that's just silly. I mean, why don't we go together?
14:38Sure. Sounds good. Okay.
14:46So tell me, why wedding dresses?
14:53Well, ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to wear the dress, be the bride, have
15:00my happy ending. And then I eloped with Andy, and he had an affair, and we got a divorce.
15:13And now, of course, he hasn't paid a dime of child support. My roof is leaking, um, my car is useless,
15:21and I work in a diner. So, best laid plans, I guess.
15:31You know, you should call my attorney friend. He's helped me with some things in the past.
15:36I think he can help you with this child support issue. I want to tell him that you're a friend of mine.
15:43Yeah, of course.
15:44I will.
15:46Uh, should probably get back from our date soon.
15:54Split the bill?
15:56Yeah, sure, uh, split the bill.
16:00Check, please.
16:01Hey, Bernard, this is Justin. You're going to be getting a call from a woman named Delilah James.
16:16Long story short, her ex is a piece of shit, he won't pay child support, and he works at Lestile,
16:22but I can't fire him, unless he might sue, or he might figure out who I am.
16:27So the least I can do is try to help get some money back from this douchebag from her.
16:31And she can't know who I am. She thinks my name is George. Thanks, ma'am.
16:39Hey, Dino.
16:41Yes, boss.
16:41Let's buy Delilah's building. Let's fix the roof on it.
16:47Sure thing.
16:48Oh, and while you're at it, if you can buy her a car. Nothing too fancy, though. She's not that type of girl.
16:53And keep everything anonymous.
16:55You got it.
17:03What's going on?
17:04Somebody bought the building. They're putting on a new roof.
17:08What?
17:08Oh, my God.
17:10That's amazing, right?
18:11National Grid, water.
18:31Doing with that one.
18:34Oh, urgent.
18:35Oh, you are hereby ordered to appear before the Department of Child Services.
18:52Delinquency of child support?
19:05Anyway, we need to talk.
19:27I need you to follow Delilah James.
19:30That's her address. Find me some dirt.
19:36I need to blackmail her into dropping the child support nonsense.
19:39She's ruining my perfect life.
19:41Okay, ma'am. You got it.
19:44Yeah, and don't mess it up.
19:46Come on.
19:56I had a good time.
19:57Yeah, it was fun. We should, um, we should do it again sometime.
20:03I think we sounded really good, but we should practice some more.
20:08Just in case.
20:09Sure. That'd be great.
20:12Well, good night.
20:15Good night.
20:16Good night.
20:16Delilah, look what they delivered for you.
20:36Wait, what? Who?
20:37A big truck came today and dropped it off, but when I asked, they gave me this to give to you.
20:43It says that you've won the best neighbor's sweepstakes?
20:48I didn't enter any sweepstakes.
20:52Did you enter some kind of contest?
20:54Not any that I know of.
20:56Oh, don't look at me. Look, it's got your name on it.
21:02Oh, my God.
21:04It really does say that car belongs to me.
21:08They gave me this to you as well.
21:09I guess my look is finally changing.
21:23What's 10 minus 4?
21:25You know the answer to that.
21:28Dang.
21:28Oh, shoot.
21:34I left my phone in my bedroom.
21:36George, can you get it for me?
21:38Roland's going to call.
21:39Yeah, sure. No problem.
21:41Thanks.
21:58Mission accomplished.
22:15He's asleep.
22:21What?
22:24Nothing.
22:24I just, um, I think that we should practice.
22:28I think that we should practice kissing.
22:53I think that would be a good idea.
23:17You can do it.
23:23You can do it.
23:28I think that would be a good idea.
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