- 7/10/2025
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FunTranscript
00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:03Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:06I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:00:12Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:15Baby, I'll sign it.
00:00:19But don't move right in.
00:00:23My lovely princess, I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:29I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:34You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:38I'm going. I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:42Prepare my war plane!
00:00:44Don't do it, you're going to smack me out there.
00:00:49What's the situation here?
00:00:51I want to marry you.
00:00:59Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:01:10What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:14Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:19If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a Bigfoot again.
00:01:24Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:27What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:01:32And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:34All right, everybody get out.
00:01:39We got an important guest coming.
00:01:43You.
00:01:48You deaf? I said pack up and scram.
00:01:51I paid the staff here already.
00:01:52And if you want me to leave, then fine.
00:01:54But you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:01:58You want to say that again?
00:02:01You know who's visiting today?
00:02:03Ellen freaking Musk.
00:02:05One of the richest people in the world.
00:02:08Ellen Musk?
00:02:08Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:11Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:15Really?
00:02:16Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:27Coming to see you.
00:02:29All right, you know what?
00:02:30I'll play your game.
00:02:31If she does it so much as give you a glance,
00:02:35I'll eat dirt.
00:02:39Deal.
00:02:47Ellen Musk,
00:02:49get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:02:51Or else,
00:02:52you're fired.
00:02:53Prepare the limo.
00:03:13Miss Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:15Oh, you're ten minutes.
00:03:23You're almost done.
00:03:24Good.
00:03:25Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:27Five.
00:03:28Four.
00:03:31Three.
00:03:33Two.
00:03:35One.
00:03:36One.
00:03:36Three.
00:03:39Ellen.
00:03:40Uh, I mean,
00:03:41Miss Musk,
00:03:41Ellen,
00:03:42I mean,
00:03:43uh,
00:03:43I'm sorry that I,
00:03:45uh,
00:03:46sorry to frighten you.
00:03:48How's my boss pitch?
00:03:50Kickin' ass,
00:03:50girlfriend.
00:03:51So how do you, like...
00:03:54She's my boss.
00:03:56Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:01No way.
00:04:05Well?
00:04:09No. No!
00:04:11No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:04:12No, I won't do it again!
00:04:17Alright, that's enough.
00:04:18We're not tyrants here.
00:04:20Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:34You mean Angela Lockhart, my runaway bride.
00:04:39You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:04:44Who are you?
00:04:47Where is she?
00:04:48Atlanta.
00:04:50And you were right.
00:04:51It was secretly her propping up Elon Musk.
00:04:53My clever bride.
00:04:55I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:57Max, prep the jet.
00:04:58I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:59Dr. Wilson.
00:05:00He's having sterling on the move.
00:05:01He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:02Atlanta?
00:05:03The game is afoot.
00:05:04I'm going.
00:05:05Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:05:06The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:07He can wait.
00:05:08I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:10I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:11Dr. Wilson.
00:05:12Dr. Wilson.
00:05:13I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:14Dr. Wilson.
00:05:15I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:16I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:18Dr. Wilson.
00:05:19The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:20He can wait.
00:05:21I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:23Dr. Wilson.
00:05:24Dr. Wilson.
00:05:25General Eisenhower reporting.
00:05:26Who?
00:05:27Who?
00:05:28Who?
00:05:29Who?
00:05:30Who?
00:05:31Who?
00:05:32Who?
00:05:33What?
00:05:34Who?
00:05:35Who?
00:05:36Dervin, Sterling, and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:05:39Atlanta!
00:05:41Where is that?
00:05:43Whatever, prepare my war plate!
00:05:45Those two going after my fiance.
00:05:48This is war.
00:05:54I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project
00:06:09like you asked me to.
00:06:10Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:13This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:15That project is worth billions.
00:06:17He can finally take his company public.
00:06:19But, Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes
00:06:27without ever revealing your true identity.
00:06:30Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:06:35Well, three years ago.
00:06:49You saved me.
00:07:02He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:06I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being
00:07:10with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:12But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing, and then I can finally
00:07:18come out to the public.
00:07:20So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:23I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:28But why work at the flea market?
00:07:31Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:34Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:40Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:44You seem happy being a housewife.
00:07:49Where the hell are you?
00:07:51Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:07:55Get home stacked.
00:07:56It's a big day today.
00:07:59That was...
00:08:00My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:08:06But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:12You know, she even remembered our third-year anniversary.
00:08:20Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:24Hi, I'm home.
00:08:26I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:28Finally, you're back.
00:08:30Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:34Divorce papers.
00:08:37Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:39Oh, God.
00:08:41Don't call me Mom again.
00:08:43We're ending that relationship.
00:08:46Just look at you.
00:08:47Dirt all over.
00:08:48You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:08:51You don't deserve my son.
00:08:52You're way below his league.
00:08:55I'm below his league?
00:08:57That's right.
00:08:58You are.
00:09:00Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:09:06And then his company's going public.
00:09:09That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:09:11But you?
00:09:13You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:09:17Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:19And you will always just be a pawn.
00:09:25Like dirt on our shoes.
00:09:30Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:32But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:09:35You're delusional.
00:09:37You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:40How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:09:43Resorting to lies.
00:09:47Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:09:49And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:09:54You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:02Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:10:04Not a low-life dirtbag.
00:10:06Enough!
00:10:08Jared.
00:10:09I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:13But I am.
00:10:14Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:17Here's 500k.
00:10:17You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:23Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:10:26Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:10:29I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:10:34Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:37I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:40Fine.
00:10:41Here's another 200,000.
00:10:44500,000 is too much for her already.
00:10:46She's done nothing.
00:10:48Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:10:52She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:10:54Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:58I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:11:03You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:11:07And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:11:11A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:11:15What a joke.
00:11:16If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:11:23And leave!
00:11:25You really think that Jared would have gotten that Maple Plaza bid without me?
00:11:30Let alone taking the company public?
00:11:33I did everything for you, Jared.
00:11:36Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:11:40It's all my work, baby.
00:11:47We're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:11:54You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:59So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:03She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:12:05Fine.
00:12:06I'll sign it.
00:12:07But don't regret it.
00:12:08Regret?
00:12:09You know who I am.
00:12:10Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:12:22I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:25I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:27Jared winning the bid on Maple Plaza was because of my dad.
00:12:32Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:12:35It's part of the power I have as an elite.
00:12:40You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:44Social stratum matters.
00:12:46Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:12:50And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:12:53And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:58Ha!
00:12:59You're delusional.
00:13:01Now sign the papers and SCRAM!
00:13:04Ah!
00:13:05You owe me.
00:13:08You dirty bitch.
00:13:10You sickened me.
00:13:11Ah!
00:13:12You hit me.
00:13:17Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:24Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:29I don't need your penny money.
00:13:44We're finished.
00:13:46You don't want the money that's your loss.
00:13:49Your check is just pennies to me.
00:13:52But...
00:13:53I would like my ring back.
00:13:56have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:14:11And I'm way out of your league.
00:14:18Isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:14:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:14:29Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:14:32Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:34You're right.
00:14:35She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:14:38You're right.
00:14:39You're right.
00:14:40Congrats, Jared Boo Boo on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:14:45Oh!
00:14:46My dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:14:52Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:14:55Yeah.
00:14:56And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:59Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:18Uh, Angela?
00:15:19Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:15:23Vanderbilt?
00:15:24Yeah.
00:15:25He's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:15:28Basically our employee.
00:15:29Oh, okay.
00:15:30I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow.
00:15:31It's fine.
00:15:32You're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:15:33But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:15:35That's exactly why I'm going.
00:15:54Angela Lockhart.
00:15:55I finally found you.
00:15:56Who is he?
00:15:57That.
00:15:58That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:59He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of
00:16:14Sterling Enterprises.
00:16:15Rumor has that he's worth trillions.
00:16:18And he's your fiancé.
00:16:21What?
00:16:22What?
00:16:23My fiancé?
00:16:24The one and only.
00:16:27So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're
00:16:34going to make it up to me yet?
00:16:36Babe?
00:16:37That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:16:50What is she doing here?
00:16:56You skank.
00:16:57My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man.
00:17:02Divorced?
00:17:03That's right.
00:17:04That's right.
00:17:05So, I guess this was never meant to be Mr...
00:17:09Sterling.
00:17:10Kevin.
00:17:11Sterling.
00:17:12So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:17:17Guess she's not just a forsaken woman.
00:17:20She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:17:24How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:17:28Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:31Do you know who I am?
00:17:33They don't know who you are.
00:17:37You hide it well.
00:17:39X-Team!
00:17:41Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:43Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:46Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:17:54You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:56Mind if I borrow your men?
00:18:04Toss these ill-mannered apes out!
00:18:11Oh, you bitch!
00:18:13I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:18:17A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:18:23No.
00:18:24The guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:18:36You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:18:42Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:45Pleased to meet you all.
00:18:46Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:18:49What an honor.
00:18:50I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:18:53It's worth billions of dollars.
00:18:55Congrats.
00:18:56You'll be next.
00:18:58But we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:19:01Pardon me.
00:19:02Oh, that's nothing.
00:19:03I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:05The Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:19:07So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:19:11Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:19:13Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:19:17Yes.
00:19:18Yes.
00:19:19I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:19:22Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:19:25Now, if we can just secure a position with his big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:19:31I'll do my best.
00:19:36Excuse me, second children.
00:19:42What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:45How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:19:50Me, a hobo.
00:19:52How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:19:55You sleep your way in?
00:19:56I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:59Nothing will come of it and it only sickens me further.
00:20:02Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:07This is your ex-husband?
00:20:11What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:20:13Who the hell is this?
00:20:15You were cheating on me?
00:20:16Son, you have to avenge me and Cayley.
00:20:31That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:20:37They even took Cayley's tiara!
00:20:52You dare hurt my mom and Cayley?
00:20:56Get your hands off of her!
00:20:58Ah!
00:20:59Ah!
00:21:02My lady.
00:21:18My queen.
00:21:19Ah.
00:21:20It's...
00:21:30It's him!
00:21:31He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:21:36Who are these peasants?
00:21:37These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:21:42Oh, shut up, old man.
00:21:44You're disturbing to peace.
00:21:47Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:21:51That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:21:53You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:56His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America!
00:22:00The Civil War would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:03Vanderbilt.
00:22:06The father of that skank, Cayley Vanderbilt,
00:22:10who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:22:14That?
00:22:15The only Vanderbilt family.
00:22:23Oh!
00:22:24Goddammit!
00:22:25It's stomachache now?
00:22:30Mmm, whatever.
00:22:32Angela can handle herself.
00:22:33She'll be fine.
00:22:44How dare you call one of us low?
00:22:49I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:22:54I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:59And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:23:03Not with me around.
00:23:04I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:09You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:23:15You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:23:17We've had enough of your games.
00:23:19Security!
00:23:20Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:23Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:23:26But don't worry.
00:23:28You got no money here.
00:23:31I can handle myself, thank you.
00:23:33Yes, my queen.
00:23:36You're all despicable.
00:23:39An insult to your family names.
00:23:44Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:23:47Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:23:50Cut off all business ties.
00:23:53And if you don't,
00:23:55I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:24:00I knew it!
00:24:01You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:03You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:04How much money did you spend on that kid up
00:24:06to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:09You're an orphan
00:24:10who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:24:14You have nothing.
00:24:15And you will always be nothing.
00:24:18She's a gold digger.
00:24:20Gold digger.
00:24:22Gigolo.
00:24:24Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:26Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:28Mr. Vanderbilt,
00:24:29we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:24:32They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:34Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:36She's only here to try and ruin my bill
00:24:37in the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:39Oh, I'm gonna kill that sushi shop!
00:24:42Security!
00:24:47Security!
00:24:49You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:24:52And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:24:55You!
00:24:57Insolent fools!
00:24:59Let me guess.
00:25:00You're that special guest?
00:25:03I don't know.
00:25:05Throw them out!
00:25:06And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:08Ha!
00:25:16Back down, Axe.
00:25:20I got this.
00:25:38What the hell are you two doing here?
00:25:50I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:25:52No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:25:56Oh my God, we're so screwed!
00:25:58Angela!
00:26:08Don't hurt her!
00:26:10You bitch.
00:26:11I've always been sick of you.
00:26:12You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:13How dare you insult my boss like that!
00:26:16Boss?
00:26:17Did she say her boss?
00:26:19Miss Musk?
00:26:20That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:22That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:24My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:28Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:31Past the American Revolution?
00:26:33Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:35If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:38That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:26:41And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:26:45What the hell do you do?
00:26:47Kneel to me!
00:26:49Oh, your majesty.
00:26:51Welcome to the United States.
00:26:54We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:56Yes, your highness.
00:26:59Is it queen or princess?
00:27:01It doesn't matter!
00:27:03My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:27:06Oh, yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:27:09Hey, what are you doing, idiot?
00:27:11Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness!
00:27:13For forgiveness!
00:27:23What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:25She's a badass herself. He missed out on a good wife.
00:27:26You! You! You told me your wife was a hippie peddler! Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time!
00:27:40No! No! Don't believe their lies! I worked hard for everything!
00:27:41You worked for everything!
00:27:42You worked for everything!
00:27:43Hi, Henny.
00:27:44Hi, Henny.
00:27:45So, our third year anniversary is coming up and I thought that maybe we could do something special this year?
00:27:53this entire time.
00:27:53No, no, don't believe they're lies.
00:27:55I worked hard for everything.
00:27:57You worked for everything?
00:28:04Hi, Henry.
00:28:06So, our third year anniversary is coming up
00:28:08and I thought that maybe we can do something special
00:28:10this year?
00:28:11I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:13I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:28:16and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:28:23You were nothing before me.
00:28:30All your achievements, all your glory,
00:28:33that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:28:38I can take all of that away just like that.
00:28:42No, you can't take that away from me.
00:28:44So that's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals
00:28:47to this nobody.
00:28:48Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:28:52Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:28:54It was Queen Victoria's and it's worth is equivalent
00:28:57to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:29:05No, I gave you back the ring?
00:29:08I divorced a royal heiress?
00:29:11No, no, please, no.
00:29:13No, please take me back, baby.
00:29:15I still love you.
00:29:17Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:21No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:29:31Guard these two again.
00:29:33Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:36President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:37After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:29:40each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:29:42the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:29:44Glad you buffoons know your history.
00:29:47Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:29:48I got lost trying to find Atlanta,
00:29:50then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:56And that there is, that is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson.
00:30:02He's Dr. House's protege.
00:30:04Dr. House?
00:30:04Yes.
00:30:05I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:08Oh, no, that's based on real thinking.
00:30:10Yep, that's me.
00:30:11Son of James House.
00:30:13Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:30:16I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:30:18when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:19So he's been off crying himself a waterfall
00:30:22somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:30:25And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:30:27and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:33Hey, Alan, who are these weirdos
00:30:35and why are they here?
00:30:37Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:30:40What?
00:30:42Fiancés.
00:30:45Plural?
00:30:45Fiancés.
00:30:46Plural?
00:30:48Watch it, nerds.
00:30:50I'm her fiancée.
00:30:51No, I'm her fiancée.
00:30:53You can both shut up.
00:30:54I'm her fiancée.
00:30:56It's you.
00:30:57It's me.
00:30:57Who the hell is he?
00:30:59I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:01How are all three of these men
00:31:05my fiancés?
00:31:06Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:31:09but I didn't tell you
00:31:10because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:31:12She has three bad-ass fiancés
00:31:16and she marries his dumbass.
00:31:17Whatever.
00:31:21Since you're all here,
00:31:23help me finish him.
00:31:26Since you're all here,
00:31:28help me finish him.
00:31:29at your service.
00:31:32Me too.
00:31:33One down, two more to go.
00:31:40She's become queen.
00:31:41Bishop to G4.
00:31:47What is that?
00:31:49The most German festive water in the Nile River.
00:31:52Ruck to A8.
00:32:03Hello?
00:32:07I thought I was king.
00:32:08No, you wish.
00:32:09The king doesn't do anything,
00:32:11so Ellen can be my king.
00:32:13Oh, fine.
00:32:18Big ruck to Fords right this second.
00:32:20I...
00:32:27I've been bankrupt!
00:32:28No!
00:32:30Who is it?
00:32:37I've been bankrupt!
00:32:38No!
00:32:40I told you I would remove all of you
00:32:42from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:32:44Well, guess what?
00:32:45Game over.
00:32:46All right, boys.
00:32:48Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:32:50Oh, that's serious business.
00:32:52I'm right with you!
00:32:55Wait for me!
00:32:56Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:33:07Angela!
00:33:11You already have three fiancés?
00:33:13You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:15I...
00:33:17want compensation.
00:33:20You greedy SOB.
00:33:22Who the fuck is that?
00:33:23My ex-husband.
00:33:25Wait, you were married?
00:33:27Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:33:29then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:32More for me.
00:33:33No, no, of course not.
00:33:34Just...
00:33:35Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:37No.
00:33:38Don't steal my joke!
00:33:39I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:33:41All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:33:45What?
00:33:45Is there something on my face?
00:33:46Uh, yeah.
00:33:48Murderous intent.
00:33:50Let's remarry.
00:33:52Let's remarry.
00:33:54You still don't realize...
00:33:57I only fell in love with you
00:33:58because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:09I can't leave.
00:34:12I can't wait.
00:34:27Thanks.
00:34:28Sir, it's an emergency.
00:34:29We need to wreck right away.
00:34:32Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem
00:34:34at the company warehouse.
00:34:35Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:38She should be okay now.
00:34:43Hey, you!
00:34:44Watch over here.
00:34:46I'll be right back.
00:34:55You saved me.
00:34:59Fuck.
00:35:00I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:04Fuck.
00:35:05I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:07You've cheated on me,
00:35:09you've hit me,
00:35:10and you've insulted me.
00:35:12And after all that,
00:35:14I never want to see you again.
00:35:16I fucking hate you.
00:35:19Lady Lockhart!
00:35:21God, what now?
00:35:23Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person,
00:35:28but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:35:30the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:32How about us three?
00:35:33Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on your own.
00:35:37Yeah, no.
00:35:38You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:35:40But...
00:35:42This is your fault, you doofus!
00:35:43We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:35:45No!
00:35:47No!
00:35:48We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockhart.
00:35:52Our family!
00:35:54Help me!
00:35:55I'll get you for this!
00:36:03Never should have listened to you!
00:36:04I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:05I'm losing you!
00:36:20So...
00:36:21What's the situation here?
00:36:22I don't want to marry you!
00:36:24Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago, and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:36:42But...
00:36:43What if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:36:48Much longer.
00:36:53Angela?
00:36:54Your parents would like to have a video call with...
00:36:57all of you?
00:36:58My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:04Look!
00:37:05Your mother and I are in Italy!
00:37:06The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:37:09Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:11I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free-letter husband of yours.
00:37:19Can't call his name, but...
00:37:21Anyway!
00:37:22Congratulations!
00:37:23I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:29You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:37:32Let me do it!
00:37:34You must choose one of them in seven days, otherwise...
00:37:39we'll kill ourselves.
00:37:41Mom!
00:37:43Alright honey, that's it!
00:37:45Bye!
00:37:46Bye!
00:37:50So, who are we going to choose?
00:37:54Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:59Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:05That seems greedy.
00:38:12But...
00:38:14I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:17Hey!
00:38:18I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:38:21I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:26Whoa, okay.
00:38:27No murder, please.
00:38:28I was just kidding.
00:38:31We have seven days to win her over.
00:38:34Ooh.
00:38:35It's like the Bachelorette.
00:38:37I know.
00:38:38We'll start with challenge one.
00:38:39Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:38:45Today, we have our first challenge.
00:38:50What is all of this, Ellen?
00:38:53You'll see.
00:38:54Oh my god!
00:38:55Oh my god!
00:38:56Oh my god!
00:38:57Cockroaches!
00:38:58All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:38:59And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:12What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, but screaming her head off, heiress?
00:39:28Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:30It's up to the final two.
00:39:56Crunchy.
00:39:58That is sick cold.
00:39:59Hey!
00:40:00When you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:06There are two more left.
00:40:07Wanna try one?
00:40:08Oh my god!
00:40:09No!
00:40:10No!
00:40:12Oh my god!
00:40:13Save me!
00:40:14Save you!
00:40:15Save me!
00:40:18I'm a German folk doctor.
00:40:20These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:22They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:29Oh my god!
00:40:30Thank god you're here.
00:40:31Are you alright, honey?
00:40:32Angela!
00:40:33Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward. You get to watch over her for the night. Just don't cross the line if you know what I mean.
00:40:46I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:59Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything. At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:41:09I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:41:15The cockroaches!
00:41:16To god, to god.
00:41:18There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:21I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:28I need a drink.
00:41:29Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach!
00:41:40Oh, why do you care?
00:41:43You're trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:41:48You guys were right.
00:41:50I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:41:52You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:41:59He never even loved me.
00:42:01And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:07Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:15You may not be number one on the Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in.
00:42:20What?
00:42:25You're number one here.
00:42:32You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:36Lies.
00:42:38You all just want something from me.
00:42:45Angela.
00:42:46Angela.
00:42:48I know it's hard to trust again.
00:42:50But I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:42:56I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:59I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:43:04I just need you.
00:43:08I'll prove my love to you within six days. I promise.
00:43:13Screw the contest. I just want love.
00:43:27Angela.
00:43:31You're drunk.
00:43:33I'm an adult. Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:43:36Okay.
00:43:42But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:43:44Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:43:58This is what you want.
00:43:59Oh, my God.
00:44:00If you don't want to.
00:44:02You know, I want to see him.
00:44:04It's been my day.
00:44:06Oh, my God.
00:44:08Oh, my God.
00:44:10I'm so sorry.
00:44:13Oh.
00:44:15Oh, my God.
00:44:17Oh, my God.
00:44:19Oh, my God.
00:44:21Oh, my God.
00:44:23Oh, my God.
00:44:24Oh.
00:44:26Oh, my God.
00:44:27Oh, my God.
00:44:28to you too. You sure you were drunk last night? You wouldn't-
00:44:32A girl remembers when she's had a nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:44:38Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:44:41But don't tell Shane or Cole, because then they would-
00:44:46Say that you were being unfair? Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:44:51I won the first challenge, and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:57Just don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:04Are you sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:08Stop.
00:45:11Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:15I won't tell.
00:45:17But only on one condition.
00:45:21I won't tell.
00:45:23But only on one condition.
00:45:26You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:29Fine.
00:45:33I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:45:37You never noticed me.
00:45:38You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:45:48It's only 7am. She's still sleeping.
00:45:51I'm not sleeping alone.
00:45:52Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:45:56Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:59Oh, or shall I say, Rachman?
00:46:02Oh, don't mind him.
00:46:04What's up guys?
00:46:06We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:08No cockroaches this time.
00:46:10Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:14This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:15I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:18The second challenge is...
00:46:20The second challenge is...
00:46:22A date.
00:46:23Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:46:25A date?
00:46:27That's it.
00:46:28What's the catch?
00:46:29No catch.
00:46:30Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:33As simple as that.
00:46:34I know what I want to do.
00:46:35Let's start with me first.
00:46:36Okay.
00:46:37Goals up first, then...
00:46:38Me.
00:46:39Save the best for last.
00:46:41Ain't that right, Angela?
00:46:42Then it's decided.
00:46:47Please don't take my BMW away!
00:46:50Too bad.
00:46:51You pissed off the Lockhart's.
00:46:54I have nothing left!
00:47:04It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:09It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:12You know Eisenhower, sirs?
00:47:13At ease, Lieutenant!
00:47:14This is my Lieutenant.
00:47:15He also manages this boxing job.
00:47:16Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:17He's so serious.
00:47:18But, hang on.
00:47:20Lieutenant!
00:47:21I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:47:22Baby!
00:47:23I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:47:26Guns?
00:47:27Like...
00:47:28Murder weapons?
00:47:29Yes!
00:47:30Murder weapons?
00:47:31Murder weapons!
00:47:32Yeah!
00:47:33Yeah!
00:47:34Yeah!
00:47:35Murder weapons!
00:47:36Yeah!
00:47:37Murder weapons!
00:47:38You're like my guns, babe!
00:47:39Pretty rock hard!
00:47:40Yeah!
00:47:41Pretty rock hard!
00:47:42Yeah!
00:47:43Let me show you what I can do with them!
00:47:44Lieutenant!
00:47:45Come close!
00:47:46Wait!
00:47:47You're just gonna hit me with me!
00:47:48I'm gonna try and get my guns!
00:47:49I'm gonna try and get my guns!
00:47:50I'm gonna try and get my guns!
00:47:51I'm gonna try and get my guns!
00:47:52I'm gonna try and get my guns!
00:47:53You're like my guns, babe!
00:47:54You're pretty rock hard!
00:47:55Yeah!
00:47:56Let me show you what I can do with them!
00:48:11Lieutenant, come close.
00:48:14Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:48:16He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:18Fighting back will be treason, ma'am.
00:48:20Treason?
00:48:21You guys are way too serious.
00:48:24Look, you awkward bitch, I caught you.
00:48:26If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:48:29Lieutenant, here's your attack.
00:48:31You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:48:47I will make you pay!
00:48:51You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:48:53We could just take him to the cops.
00:48:54Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:49:01It's always a bit violent.
00:49:04Some might call it being protective.
00:49:06Poor anger issues.
00:49:08What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:12Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:15Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:17I don't know if I am.
00:49:20Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:49:25Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:31Hey.
00:49:32Hey.
00:49:34Cool ride.
00:49:35A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:49:39Impressive.
00:49:42Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:49:46Refreshing.
00:49:47I got cool mint, too.
00:49:49Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:49:52What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:56Fruit-flavored gum.
00:49:57I can't stand those.
00:49:58So, where are you taking it?
00:50:00Let me show you.
00:50:01Okay.
00:50:08Dr. Wilson!
00:50:10A VIP of VIPs.
00:50:13Right this way.
00:50:14VIP of VIPs?
00:50:15Ah, just some other guy I saved.
00:50:17I forget who.
00:50:19You saved a lot of football.
00:50:21I do what I can.
00:50:21Okay.
00:50:23Oh, my gosh.
00:50:25It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:28Sandra Miller, what are you doing here?
00:50:32I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:35Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and
00:50:39Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:50:40Yeah.
00:50:40How low of you.
00:50:43What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:50:46Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:50:48I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end, you couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs.
00:50:54The auction begins.
00:50:57I'll deal with you later.
00:51:00Here, I'll just be a good sign.
00:51:01Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:11Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:14Cleopatra's Armband.
00:51:17Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:51:20For five million dollars.
00:51:23Excuse me.
00:51:25I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:27It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:29What are you doing?
00:51:36Just watch.
00:51:38Come on.
00:51:43That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:51:46Please.
00:51:46I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:51:49She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:51:51You work at a flea market?
00:51:53Not this again.
00:51:55Cut the bullshit.
00:51:56That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:51:57Oh yeah?
00:51:59Here, you want it?
00:51:59For free.
00:52:01Ew.
00:52:01I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:05Well, that's too bad then.
00:52:07Because you are the fraud.
00:52:11What are you talking about?
00:52:12Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:14Throw them out.
00:52:16Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:52:19But we're professionals.
00:52:20Oh yeah?
00:52:22And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:26Yeah.
00:52:27Mine is the real thing.
00:52:29You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:34What was that so?
00:52:35Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:52:38Dear Lord, this is real.
00:52:43It's authentic.
00:52:45It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:52:50Cameron, what have you found?
00:52:52Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:56It's a replica.
00:52:58They have the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:01So, you are the fraud.
00:53:06So you just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:09And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:12$1.50.
00:53:14Wow, not even five dollars.
00:53:17Sandra.
00:53:18You've been duping us the whole time?
00:53:22Arrest her!
00:53:23No!
00:53:24Please!
00:53:24He was just this one time!
00:53:26Please!
00:53:27What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:30Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:53:34Bye.
00:53:35Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:53:42I had a really great time tonight.
00:53:48Me too.
00:53:50May I have a kiss?
00:54:06Something wrong?
00:54:08Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:12Yep.
00:54:16You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:54:27Oh!
00:54:29You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:33I don't have any money.
00:54:35How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:54:38I guess you'll only pay up.
00:54:42If I break your other leg.
00:54:45Stop!
00:54:49Mr. Vandeville.
00:54:52Mr. Buffett.
00:54:54This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:00That's right.
00:55:01Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:04I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:07I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:55:09No, no.
00:55:09Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:55:12It was all just a little misunderstood.
00:55:15Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:17And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us.
00:55:24Angela still loves me.
00:55:25She's just throwing a fit.
00:55:27She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:28Yeah.
00:55:29Do you need any help winning her back?
00:55:31We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:34I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:55:37and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:55:39It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:55:41Sure.
00:55:44I'll put in a good word for you.
00:55:46I just need...
00:55:47Anything you tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:55:50Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:55:53I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:03I've given a contract to Jarrett Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:56:06Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:56:08I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:56:14My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:56:16It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:20And if you care, then what?
00:56:21He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:23So as long as his greeting has to take it.
00:56:27I'm avenging my best friend.
00:56:29I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:56:32I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:56:42We should celebrate.
00:56:43You did?
00:56:44You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:56:47That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:56:50And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:56:53Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:56You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:03Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not.
00:57:04Jared, what are you doing?
00:57:06You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:10It's my decision, Mom.
00:57:12I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:14I'm telling my dad.
00:57:16Fine, go right ahead.
00:57:17He has enough problems himself.
00:57:19If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:57:21But if not, you can scram.
00:57:24Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:57:28Teach him a lesson.
00:57:29Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:31Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:57:35Don't get on his bad side.
00:57:36We can't afford to piss him off.
00:57:39So do as he says.
00:57:41What, Dad?
00:57:48I'm sorry.
00:57:49Be your side piece.
00:57:52Very good.
00:57:54I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:55Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:59I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:04But that tongue action, though.
00:58:06Tongue is important.
00:58:08In more than just one spot.
00:58:09Ellen, we are in public.
00:58:10That's true.
00:58:12Oh, stomachache.
00:58:14Again?
00:58:15I have to run to the bathroom.
00:58:16Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:18Okay.
00:58:20Devin's late.
00:58:22Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:26This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:31It's her.
00:58:32And she's alone.
00:58:33With no one to save her.
00:58:36You whore.
00:58:38You seduced my son so he could back with you.
00:58:40Let me tell you, I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees
00:58:49and begged me.
00:58:53Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:58:56Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:00What?
00:59:00Why do I have to leave?
00:59:01She's the one starting shit.
00:59:03Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:06You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:08And my son just signed a $100 billion contract.
00:59:12He's still got the contract?
00:59:15Hmm.
00:59:15Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:17Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:21Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:23Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:27Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:32You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:59:37My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:59:40$1,000 to take her away.
00:59:43$2,000 to drag her away.
00:59:46$5,000 to beat her away.
00:59:51Oh, whoa, hey!
00:59:53Hey!
00:59:54Ow, hey!
00:59:55Stop!
00:59:57You okay?
00:59:58Are you hurt?
01:00:04Weakling.
01:00:05You!
01:00:05You!
01:00:06Just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:10And now you have two more?
01:00:12What a whore.
01:00:14What a whore.
01:00:15Yeah.
01:00:15And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:18What if she has an STD?
01:00:19Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:24Let's go.
01:00:25We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:27Hang on.
01:00:29What do you want?
01:00:30I'll scream!
01:00:32I don't hear a woman.
01:00:34But I never said I don't kill her.
01:00:37But I never said I don't kill her.
01:00:40Oh, God.
01:00:41He is a murderer.
01:00:43What if he murders me?
01:00:44Not him.
01:00:45Definitely not him.
01:00:46We're not afraid of you.
01:00:53That's enough.
01:00:54This isn't a war zone.
01:00:56You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:00I was just messing with them.
01:01:02Was he, though?
01:01:03We're not afraid of you.
01:01:06Jared!
01:01:07You have to avenge us.
01:01:08Look at this slut.
01:01:09She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:11She's cheating on you.
01:01:12Don't get back with her.
01:01:13Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:01:15I apologize for this scene.
01:01:17I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to his salvation banquet.
01:01:21Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:24Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:25The potty crashes.
01:01:30You have any idea who that is?
01:01:32That's my wife.
01:01:33Please save that title for the real skank over there.
01:01:36That's right.
01:01:37Know your place.
01:01:38Shut up.
01:01:39She's cheating on you.
01:01:42Know your place.
01:01:44You're just a side piece.
01:01:45If I still want you, that is.
01:01:46Eric, have you gone mad?
01:01:49This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:01:51You slap her for this whore?
01:01:52Mom!
01:01:54They really think there's something, huh?
01:01:56Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:00She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:03I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:02:07What?
01:02:09You, apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:18I'm sorry.
01:02:21No.
01:02:22This can't be.
01:02:24I made you divorce.
01:02:29Go home.
01:02:30You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:02:38I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:02:42Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:02:46I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:02:48I didn't come here for you.
01:02:51I'm on a date.
01:02:53A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:57She really is a whore.
01:02:58My girl, please forgive me.
01:02:59I really do love you.
01:03:04Oh-ho!
01:03:05Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:08Oh-ho!
01:03:09Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:11Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:03:15We're too old for that.
01:03:17They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:19Please, you gave me the contract so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:25Oh, yes, please, Ms. Lockhart, join us.
01:03:28We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:03:31What the hell are you all doing here?
01:03:34Where were you?
01:03:35Stomach issues.
01:03:37Again?
01:03:38Would you like my diagnosis?
01:03:40No.
01:03:41Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:03:45I would rather die than be with you again.
01:03:49Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:53I can't lose face in front of these pricks, otherwise they'll cut me off too.
01:03:57Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance, I'll prove it to you.
01:04:01You want a chance?
01:04:03Angela, no.
01:04:04You have three great guys here who all want to marry you, don't take him back.
01:04:09I'll give you two choices.
01:04:14I'll give you two choices.
01:04:17Me, or the contract.
01:04:20You're kidding me.
01:04:22No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:24If you choose me, we can remarry this week, but you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:04:32The choice is all yours.
01:04:34That's a choice.
01:04:36You think so?
01:04:37He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:04:42Either way, he benefits.
01:04:44Why can't I have both?
01:04:46You really are a greedy bastard.
01:04:48Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:04:51I deserved the contract.
01:04:53Did you really?
01:04:58Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:01He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:03Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:06I choose the contract.
01:05:08I knew it.
01:05:09You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:11With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:17Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:05:20I will get you one day.
01:05:22Let me show you something.
01:05:23You saved me.
01:05:41You saved me.
01:05:43I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:05:48But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:54No.
01:05:55No.
01:05:56I wasn't lying.
01:05:57I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:08Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:11What?
01:06:12Me?
01:06:13And Dr. Wilson losing at seven people?
01:06:16No way.
01:06:17You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:22You're crazy.
01:06:24And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:06:29What?
01:06:30Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:06:34Turns out they've been fletching the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:06:38To put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:06:42I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:06:44Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:06:46I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:49No, it's not your fault.
01:06:50They're just too slick.
01:06:52You'd like me to punish them for life.
01:06:54Oh god, no.
01:06:55Not that again.
01:06:56Please.
01:06:58Max.
01:07:00You know what to do.
01:07:13The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:16All business ties have been severed.
01:07:18We're bankrupt!
01:07:24How did you do that?
01:07:26Who are you?
01:07:27And don't say Spider-Man!
01:07:31I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:34I'll tell you who I am.
01:07:38I am...
01:07:40Crypto Punk number two!
01:07:42What did he say he was?
01:07:43That's more bizarre than Spider-Man!
01:07:46You're Crypto Punk number two?
01:07:49Well, I'm Crypto Punk number one.
01:07:51I'm number one!
01:07:52See?
01:07:53You are number one at something.
01:07:54The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:57Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:59It's all about young money now.
01:08:01So...
01:08:02How about our date?
01:08:09I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:08:11I'll spy two.
01:08:12I'll spy two.
01:08:25They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:28I still have the $100 billion project.
01:08:31Yes!
01:08:32I'm rich!
01:08:33I'll make them okay soon!
01:08:34What?
01:08:35Mr. Cooper, sir, the Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:49Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and will have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:54No!
01:08:56I'm bankrupt!
01:08:59I'm in the law car.
01:09:00You tricked me!
01:09:07Oh, allow me.
01:09:11I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:13I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:09:19Well, cheers.
01:09:21Cheers.
01:09:31This looks good.
01:09:36Did you use my spices?
01:09:39I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:09:44You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:50I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:57Angela, your future with me, it's gonna be different.
01:10:05Come on.
01:10:07Let's dance.
01:10:08Okay.
01:10:09Okay.
01:10:27Wow.
01:10:28Devin, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years just because of some silly mistake.
01:10:36Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:10:41Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:10:45That's right.
01:10:46I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:10:49How is all of this possible?
01:10:52I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:54Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:10:59I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:02You're my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:06Despite who you were, you never judge me for being poor.
01:11:09Are you trying to get higher at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:20All you do is babble on and on about internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:11:27Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:11:30I'll teach you a lesson.
01:11:35Hey! Get away from me!
01:11:37Angela!
01:11:39Feisty girl.
01:11:41I like her.
01:11:52How is he?
01:11:54It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:57Australia, Saltique.
01:11:59Can it be cured?
01:12:01I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:03It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:07Household salt.
01:12:16I like her.
01:12:18There you go.
01:12:20What time is it?
01:12:23Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:12:27I like her.
01:12:32I like her.
01:12:34We have been rivals ever since.
01:12:37So, that's how I, well, we, all met.
01:12:42I barely remember.
01:12:44Should I never let you go to swim practice that day?
01:12:47Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:51You wouldn't have known.
01:12:52I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:55That makes you feel any better.
01:12:57Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:59Yeah.
01:13:00Angela?
01:13:01Your seven days is almost up.
01:13:03Now that you know, they all loved and fought for you for three years.
01:13:06Who will you pick?
01:13:07Who will you pick?
01:13:12How can that be?
01:13:14Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:16Kaley, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:25Bankrupt?
01:13:27The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:13:30Well then, get out of here.
01:13:33You can't do this to me!
01:13:34Oh!
01:13:37Jared!
01:13:38Mom, it's me.
01:13:39What happened?
01:13:41Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:13:44Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:13:46You should get back with your wife!
01:13:48We're bankrupt.
01:13:49What?!
01:13:53Jared Cooper!
01:13:57We are here to propose your belongings.
01:14:01No one is going to save you now.
01:14:03What?!
01:14:04Mom!
01:14:06Mom!
01:14:08What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?!
01:14:14Who will you pick?
01:14:18I...
01:14:24I brought you fried chicken?
01:14:25Fried chicken?
01:14:26Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:14:29Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:14:32Sucking up last minute!
01:14:33At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:14:36Hey!
01:14:37Stop!
01:14:38Stop!
01:14:40Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:14:42I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:14:46I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:14:49You know what I mean.
01:14:51Today, our heiress Bachelorette will choose.
01:14:54Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:14:56Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:01Cole, the general?
01:15:05Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:11Uh, looks like our Bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:15Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:15:17But when she does, she will take this eternal rose, made from glass imported from Venice, and give it to our winner.
01:15:27Angela?
01:15:30Angela?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:32I, uh...
01:15:35I need more time to think.
01:15:40Uh, while our Bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:15:46Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:15:49Let's start with Cole.
01:15:51Cole.
01:15:52There's not much to say.
01:15:57Who wouldn't want a five-star general, who has huge biceps, a massive chest, who would protect their...wife?
01:16:09Okay. Thank you.
01:16:11Uh, Shane?
01:16:14Muscles, money, they only get you so far.
01:16:18But you need a well-balanced man like me.
01:16:21That has more than one way to keep a lady happy.
01:16:23If you know what I mean.
01:16:27Okay.
01:16:29I think we do.
01:16:30And Devin?
01:16:32That was quite disgusting.
01:16:37I just hope Angela's okay.
01:16:39I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:16:42A lot of choices to make.
01:16:44And she's my queen.
01:16:46I just really hope she's okay.
01:16:48And then one more thing.
01:16:49What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:54That's a good point.
01:16:55It's bad for her heart.
01:16:58And then you!
01:17:00What?
01:17:01You know what they say about military men.
01:17:03They beat their wives.
01:17:09Enough!
01:17:12Stand up!
01:17:14Hey, you guys.
01:17:16Whoa!
01:17:17Break it up!
01:17:19Hey!
01:17:20Break it up!
01:17:21Ugh!
01:17:22Ugh!
01:17:23Ugh!
01:17:25Cut to commercial!
01:17:27Cut to commercial!
01:17:28This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:17:43Who do I choose?
01:17:46Angela's marrying me!
01:17:47You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:49Oh yeah?
01:17:50I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:55What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:56Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:57I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:58I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:59Don't forget about me.
01:18:00It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:01These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:18:02You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:03You're not stealing her from me.
01:18:04Oh yeah?
01:18:05I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:12What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:14Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:15I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:17I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:20Don't forget about me.
01:18:22It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:25You're not that often, she is glowing.
01:18:29This, if you're sick, My dude.
01:18:30Never sense into a woman.
01:18:31Oh oh.
01:18:32Great edge of my view.
01:18:33Time is half an hour-bought phone.
01:18:34I was going to say we're too cheap in this world.
01:18:36What?
01:18:37They're soистical, cette gene old sweetheart.
01:18:38For me.
01:18:41This i was just elegance.
01:18:42My hero, I've not read a coin thatуз himself can look back at me.
01:18:46These stupid profile cards do not make any sense.
01:18:48They do not help.
01:18:49Who made these?
01:18:51It's time I revealed my true identity.
01:18:52my true identity. I'm actually a part of the X-Men. And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:04We may have to work together to take him down.
01:19:30This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:19:34I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:19:38Hmm, winter mint or cool mint?
01:19:46You know, I've always really liked our hair.
01:19:49Really? I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it. So I appreciate that.
01:19:56Hey, hey, hey. And you know, cool. I've already really liked the way you talk.
01:20:02Really? Yeah.
01:20:06What do you got for me?
01:20:08I always really like the way you chew gum.
01:20:12Yeah? Yeah. It's fresh, right?
01:20:14Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:20:18You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:20:20Yeah, yeah, I appreciate it.
01:20:22You know, if you need me to look at you, I got you.
01:20:24Hey, me too.
01:20:25Angela's been kidnapped. Angela's been kidnapped.
01:20:29It was Jared Cooper.
01:20:31That fucker!
01:20:33We have to find her.
01:20:34What the hell?
01:20:35Her ring. Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:20:39Well, let's go then!
01:20:41My wife! My fiance! My fiance!
01:20:49Jared.
01:20:53What am I doing here?
01:20:55You destroyed me.
01:20:59They took everything.
01:21:01What?
01:21:03I have nothing left.
01:21:05It's not my fault. You're too greedy.
01:21:09Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:21:11What?
01:21:13I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:15Oh yeah, I know. You wouldn't take me back now.
01:21:17Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:19This is illegal!
01:21:20You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:23You won't have me arrested.
01:21:25You will take me back.
01:21:27Ow!
01:21:29You're a bitch.
01:21:31I'll settle you down a little.
01:21:42You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:21:46Hey!
01:21:48Angela!
01:21:49Come in!
01:21:53You're too late!
01:21:54I drugged her.
01:21:55She'll be dead soon unless-
01:21:56Oh yeah?
01:21:57Have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:00He really does have everything in us, Coach.
01:22:02Everything except for-
01:22:03Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:22:04We get it already.
01:22:05Just save my boss!
01:22:08Here we go.
01:22:14You're all good now.
01:22:16Oh, thank God.
01:22:18But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:20What?
01:22:21What are you gonna do to me?
01:22:23Hey, stop! No!
01:22:24Don't-
01:22:25Ah!
01:22:26Ah!
01:22:27Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:22:31No!
01:22:32No!
01:22:34Why'd we didn't actually have that fight?
01:22:36Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:22:38So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:22:39You've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding? The Prince of Bhutan?
01:22:52And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:55Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:56We're down to the wire.
01:22:57Literally, the wedding day.
01:22:58But who's the groom?
01:23:00Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:04We're down to the wire.
01:23:05Literally, the wedding day.
01:23:07But who's the groom?
01:23:09Uh, seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:23:10Any input from the parents?
01:23:12Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:23:13Oh, this is exciting.
01:23:14Huh?
01:23:15Oh, this is exciting.
01:23:16Huh?
01:23:17Uh, so who's the groom?
01:23:18Hey, somebody, we have a prominent character.
01:23:22My next elegant character basically opening a skateboard mindset.
01:23:23Probably Ariann is doing it for a car.
01:23:24It's sails of the급 exhibit.
01:23:25And what is a businessman?
01:23:26Living it wrong!
01:23:27outer that nonsense was acting all the way he couldn't actually show him.
01:23:28Hey, wait, I 모르ements.
01:23:29Hello, it's a birthday.
01:23:30Hey, hi!
01:23:31Hey everyone!
01:23:32Hey!
01:23:33Hey!
01:23:34Hey!
01:23:35Hey!
01:23:36Hey.
01:23:37Hey!
01:23:38Hey!
01:23:39Hey!
01:23:40Hey!
01:23:41Hey!
01:23:42Hey!
01:23:43Hey!
01:23:44Hey!
01:23:45Hey!
01:23:46Hey!
01:23:47I like the doctor. He's cute.
01:23:53But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:57And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest. Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:03Angela.
01:24:10You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:15And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:20But this was a really hard decision and I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:24:28And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:24:36I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:24:39Each of our candidates have saved our main character. I mean Bachelorette once.
01:24:49They've all proven their undying love. So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart? Literally.
01:24:56Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:05Or the fun, wicked minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:20And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:25:25The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling.
01:25:28Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:25:36Alright guys, may the best man win.
01:25:39May the best man win.
01:25:41Drum roll please.
01:25:43Come on.
01:25:57Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:05I choose...
01:26:13I need a powerful, strong man and I really feel like he can protect me.
01:26:22Who could resist those guns?
01:26:26Would they interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:26:28Yeah, would you like a full body check-up?
01:26:30I'd be a full body check-up.
01:26:44Shane, it's you. I'm... I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:48You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:49Yeah.
01:26:52It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:55Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:57I thought we could go together.
01:26:58Like guns, babe?
01:26:59It's always been you.
01:27:21I'll always love you.
01:27:25Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:27:27What the hell is that one?
01:27:29Would you like a full body check-up?
01:27:31Have you seen my murder weaponers?
01:27:32I need fruit flavored gum for you.
01:27:58I'll be like...
01:28:00I need fruit flavored gum.
01:28:02I need fruit flavored gum for you to another one.
01:28:03I'll be like, okay.
01:28:04You never know any pain.
01:28:05I'm sick.
01:28:06I love you take care of me.
01:28:08I love you.
01:28:09Boy, I love you.
01:28:10I hate to be the other people.
01:28:11I love you.
01:28:13Hey, give me a ride.
01:28:15I'm you, Rob.
01:28:16I love you.
01:28:18I love you.
01:28:20I don't know.
01:28:21I love you.
01:28:24I love you.
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