- 7/5/2025
HFY Stories_ Teaching Maidens How To Battleship _ When History Strikes Back
#scifi #hfy #scifistories1977
#scifi #hfy #scifistories1977
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00:00The students lined up on the dock, the smell of salty sea in the air mixed with a strange aura of tension and excitement flowed like the water lapping at the shoreline.
00:09All of the students from one particular non-human school, in this case St. Alicia's Girls' Academy, including all five members of the staff, were gathered here in front of the imposing figure of one of humanity's most treasured active historical artifacts, still functional after all these years.
00:28Wolf Girls, Elves, Cat Girls, Tiefling, several Fae, and even an Angel stood nervously in front of the imposing beast that gently bobbed in the harbor.
00:37The girls, especially their teachers, were more nervous about the nearby crowd that had gathered nearby on an opposing dock full of young and excited fans.
00:46Sitting before them, the legendary steel hull of the USS Iowa, still relatively unchanged from her centuries of service, proudly waiting for her annual historical parade.
00:56They had walked in from being dragged out of classes and put on the bus to come here straight from school.
01:02They waited patiently to find out what was going on.
01:05The school principal, the dean, all three teachers, and the school nurse were also present, along with the fourth teacher who had long since gone on board the massive steel beast shortly after they arrived.
01:17After what seemed an eternity, their eccentric but very excited teacher, Mr. Burton, appeared on deck and hastily made his way back to the students.
01:26He was wearing a new uniform that frightened some of the students.
01:31It was his old service uniform from his days in the current Navy as a gunnery sergeant.
01:36He caught his breath and approached.
01:38By this point the crowd had noticed the gaggle of lovely ladies standing around on the harbor, and were now more concerned about them than the ship, something the teachers were not appreciating.
01:49It's all ready to go!
01:51Everyone, one, get on board!
01:52He excitedly said, and gestured for everyone to move.
01:56The students and teachers reluctantly got on board the front gangplank sitting just behind the front deck gun, and a strange excited roar came from the crowd at the sight.
02:06The girls all filtered aboard, and were very much taken aback by the sight of the ship's massive front cannons, which they had to stand directly underneath in order to be spoken to.
02:19After all the students and faculty were in place, the ship crew stood around them and stood to attention.
02:25Tension on deck!
02:26The first officer yelled!
02:28The men all stood firm and saluted as a number of older men, very clearly too old to serve, carefully made their way on board, too.
02:38A selection of Navy men in wheelchairs, walking frames, canes, and other things being carefully brought on board by other Navy officers.
02:46Behind them, two mid-aged gents, one wearing the black and silver uniform of the modern Navy,
02:52and the other wearing the blue and black uniform of the old Navy, both of which were admirals.
02:58The girls were all told to stay where they were and keep quiet as the two admirals approached the side deck.
03:03Various drones and camera systems were turned on and allowed to start rolling.
03:08The current Space Navy admiral took to a podium mounted on the front deck and started to talk into a microphone towards the gathered crowd.
03:16Ladies and gentlemen of our proud nation, welcome one and welcome all to this historic event.
03:23His voice echoed across the harbor, followed by a resounding cheer of approval from the crowd.
03:29On this day, four hundred years ago, we celebrated the official launch of the USS Iowa,
03:35a true legend in not only American, but Terran history as a whole.
03:40Today marks the four hundredth anniversary of the longest-serving active military ship in human history.
03:46Next to her sister ship, which will also be joining us for this momentous occasion.
03:52The crowd on the harbor cheered with glee as the ship's engines started up.
03:56The girls, all very much above normal human senses, could feel the ship's massive, ancient diesel engines rumble to life underneath them.
04:05They all tried to make themselves slightly smaller, as they all collectively realized they were invited here at a truly important moment.
04:13All the girls, and even their teachers, all felt somewhat small right then.
04:18We have veterans of over four centuries of service on this very ship, in person and in spirit with us today.
04:25And as part of the Terran Reef Expansion Project, for the first time in over a hundred years,
04:31the Iowa will be performing active battle movements alongside her sister ship.
04:36We will be using this opportunity not only to help our great cradle to heal by creating an artificial reef,
04:43but also to remember the sacrifices we made to get to where we are today.
04:48Ladies and gentlemen, return from her service in the outer regions, I present to you the UNSMC Montana, he said.
04:55The sudden roar of starship repulsion engines filled the air with a dull rumble,
05:01followed by a high-pitched whine as a huge starship suddenly appeared in the air above the crowd.
05:08The crowd's cheers of celebration almost, almost overshadowed those of its engines.
05:14The girls all gasped, immediately recognizing the very same ship that was one of many thousands
05:20that took them off their collapsing home world.
05:23Though most of the girls here were all very young children, or even infants at the time,
05:28all of them very quickly recognized the distinctive echoing scream of the starship's engines.
05:35The UNSMC Montana, the spiritual successor of the USS Iowa,
05:40was a ship that looked similar to a UNSC Paris-class frigate from Halo,
05:44only with smoother hull-shape and fatter bridge section, and significantly bulkier engines.
05:50The Montana also had double the firepower of its older sister, and was three times her size.
05:56The older teachers all teared up at the sights and sounds of their savior,
06:01the first time any non-human had ever seen the Montana-class starships in almost two decades.
06:08A number of other ships, small picket-class and destroyer-class warships, also appeared.
06:14Half of which were oceanic vessels, the other half being space-faring vessels,
06:20all fitted and painted with yellow, red, and silver, marking civilian use.
06:25The students all correctly surmised that these ships would be the marshal service for the local fleet during the event.
06:32The Iowa's horns sounded to a resounding cheer from the crowd
06:36as the ship began to move to the speakers blaring the star-spangled banner.
06:40All officers who weren't needed for movement were out on the deck,
06:44all at full salute as the ship trundled her way out of the dock and into the harbor.
06:48With the resounding fanfare of its cheering crowd, the ship made its way out into open waters,
06:56quickly followed by a small armada of ships of every kind,
07:00including a now-legendary ocean liner that had been in service for over a hundred years.
07:06High above them, a full armada of Terran starships sat quietly in low orbit,
07:12watching proceedings and carrying out their own celebrations.
07:16The students and faculty just stood quietly and waited.
07:20The admirals dismissed everyone to stations as the national anthem finally ended.
07:25Four men appeared from inside the ship and stood in front of the class.
07:29The admiral dismissed himself to the bridge.
07:31The four men saluted the group of ladies and stood to attention.
07:35Finally, Mr. Burton quickly followed and likewise stood to attention with a big smile on his face.
07:41He had a clipboard with him and waited.
07:43"'Hello, ladies! Just in time for a truly historic event, huh?
07:47You look excited!
07:49Now, let me see,' Mr. Burton said as he looked at the clipboard.
07:53"'Jessica, Sadie, Juniper, Marie, Alessa, and Olivia.
07:57"'Come hither, if you please,' he said.
07:59The six students stepped forward.
08:01Jessica was the only angel in the class, her silver wings fluttering gently in the breeze.
08:07Sadie, Juniper, and Marie were elves, Alessa was a cat girl, and Olivia was a wolf girl.
08:13"'You six are the best-performing students in the school.
08:17As a consequence, you have earned the opportunity to get a better feel for this magnificent beast.'
08:23"'So will be joining me on a private tour of the ship, and participate in the upcoming festivities.
08:29As for everyone else, this is Staff Sergeant Mathis, Gunnery Sergeant Marcos, Corporal Winters, and Lieutenant Andrews.
08:36They will provide you all with a guided tour of the ship before you are all huddled into a transport
08:41and taken to that cruise ship over there to watch the upcoming display.
08:46This is a reward for your excellent behavior over the last two years, so do not waste it,' he said.
08:53They all looked at each other, the anxiety they had been feeling thus far quickly dissipating.
08:58The Iowa's horn sounded again as she reached her cruising speed of thirty-three knots,
09:03and the surprisingly calm waters of the Pacific Ocean made the journey so much more enjoyable.
09:10The students were assigned to their guides and carefully filtered through the ship
09:13and given a basic guided tour of the entire ship, stern to aft,
09:18and allowed to take a good look around the ancient warship.
09:22Mr. Burton came to the ship's bell with his group of six students,
09:26tailed by the Admiral of the Ocean Navy who was casually sipping a cola.
09:30The USS Iowa, built during the early years of World War II,
09:34and decommissioned for the first time in March 1949.
09:38She earned the nicknames of the Gray Ghost, the Big Stick,
09:42and the Battleship of Presidents during her service.
09:44She was fully decommissioned in October 1990 and served as a museum ship in Los Angeles
09:50until she was put back into active service during the Mars Lunar Cold War
09:55as a patrol craft as an emergency measure.
09:58Since then, she has been maintained as a full active service ship for the Surface Navy
10:03alongside her continuing role as a ceremonial ship.
10:07Mr. Burton had their full attention as he explained the ship's history.
10:11Early on in the Earth-Lunar Cold War between the Lunarian Separatist Movement and the Terran Confederacy,
10:18the USS Iowa, alongside more modern variants of warships,
10:23were stationed along the East Coast near Washington
10:25when they encountered a Lunarian infiltration frigate off the coast.
10:30The USS Iowa is the only vessel recorded to have a single starship kill.
10:34This ship.
10:36Blew up one of those ships, Mr. Burton said, gesturing to one of the smaller star frigates nearby.
10:42The girls all blinked in surprise.
10:44This thing?
10:45This ancient warship from a bygone era killed a modern spaceship?
10:49Sadie raised a hand.
10:51Um, how?
10:53Ooh, I was hoping you'd ask that.
10:55The Iowa was on defense maneuvers on the East Coast on the morning of April 14, 2098,
10:59during the height of the Lunar Cold War,
11:03a Lunarian Separatist infiltration frigate was attempting to use cloaking tech
11:07in a nighttime raid to kidnap some senators and politicians.
11:11The Iowa spotted them, and after target confirmation,
11:14the Iowa's captain made the snap decision to defend her patrol route.
11:18She pulled hard to starboard, nearly colliding with the TFN Roosevelt in the process,
11:23one of her escort destroyers,
11:25and loosed a full broadside on the starship,
11:27which was over 15 miles away.
11:30Eight of the nine shells hit their target,
11:33two of which were enough to cause crippling damage.
11:36The ship's reactor was hit, went critical,
11:39and in order to prevent a more egregious disaster than their attempted attack,
11:43they shut the ship down,
11:45only to receive three more shells to the forward section
11:48and put the infiltration frigate down for good.
11:51No massive boom,
11:52but the ship's hulk did land on the shoreline
11:55where a heavy battleship of the active Terran Navy appeared
11:58and secured the area.
12:00The Iowa was consequently, after investigation, of course,
12:03credited with the first, and to date,
12:05only oceaned a spaceship to ship kill.
12:08The result was the end of the Lunarian separatist movement, of course,
12:12Mr. Burton said.
12:13God, that was funny.
12:15Imagine the best tech for a cloaked frigate in space,
12:19and they got their asses beat by a World War II museum ship.
12:23The humiliation of the loss by itself should have been enough
12:26to make the Lunars think a bit about their leadership,
12:29the Admiral said with a chuckle.
12:31Indeed it was.
12:33The loss of the ship and the means of its destruction
12:35was enough to bring separatist leaders to the negotiating table.
12:39Then politics happened, and we don't need to care about that now.
12:42A lesson for another day.
12:44Now, with history down, let's go to the engine room,
12:46Mr. Burton said.
12:48The group made their way towards the rear of the ship,
12:51going down several flights of stairs.
12:53All the girls were given ear protectors from the officers on station
12:57and allowed to enter the room.
12:59Mr. Burton calmly explained with a raised voice
13:02above the huge rumble the engine was causing,
13:05the Admiral just standing by to watch as he drank his cola.
13:08Mr. Burton used a diagram he was carrying
13:11to show the girls how the engine worked
13:13and how much power it produced.
13:15All two 12,000 ship horsepower
13:18needed to move the 57,000 tons of warship.
13:22Mr. Burton took the girls upstairs to the mess hall,
13:25where everyone grabbed a nice cup of tea
13:27to warm themselves up,
13:29and then headed up into the aft turret
13:31to be shown how the battleship guns work.
13:34Now, owing to the fact you are all the best and brightest,
13:37you all have done your homework.
13:39Now we are in the big stick part of the big stick.
13:42Who can tell me what caliber this ship uses?
13:44Mr. Burton asked.
13:46Jessica quickly shot her hand up and smiled.
13:49Sixteen inch fifty mark two guns, sir?
13:52Correct.
13:53Now who can give me the exact measurements of the barrel?
13:56He asked.
13:57Marie's hand shot up.
13:59It's fifty calibers long,
14:00meaning fifty times its bore diameter,
14:02which means from chamber to muzzle it's sixty-six point seven feet long.
14:07Each gun is, without breach, one hundred and eight tons, she said.
14:11Correct.
14:12Now, who knows what the muzzle velocity is for this gun?
14:16He asked.
14:17Olivia raised her hand.
14:19If I remember correctly,
14:20the big gun shoots at twenty-five hundred feet per second
14:24if it's an armor-piercing shell,
14:26she replied with a smile.
14:28Correct.
14:29Well done.
14:30Now, final question.
14:31Here's the hard part.
14:33Each of you, take a notepad
14:34and calculate the approximate range of an AP shell
14:37based on muzzle velocity,
14:39he said, handing each of them a notepad.
14:42It didn't take them long to get an answer,
14:44and predictably each one got it right.
14:46The Admiral and Mr. Burton didn't seem too surprised and carried on.
14:50Just then, a strange humanoid robot
14:53appeared from the lower deck hatch,
14:55carrying targeting data on a clipboard.
14:57Sir!
14:59Hello, sir!
15:00The robot yelled at his superior officer as he climbed into the room,
15:04the sight taking the girls by surprise.
15:07Carry on, Sergeant.
15:08No need for formalities, the Admiral said.
15:12The robot nodded and resumed its job,
15:14fixing up some of the targeting systems on one of the barrels.
15:17The machine was a very human-looking,
15:19but clearly mechanical robot
15:21that moved with a swiftness and smoothness
15:24that was in itself very creepy.
15:26It looked, for lack of better description,
15:28like a synth from the Fallout universe,
15:30only more refined and detailed.
15:33The girls all stared at it, scared, confused.
15:36Mr. Burton noticed when he tried to carry on with the lesson,
15:39but was ignored.
15:40What are you—?
15:42Oh, damn it, I forgot.
15:43Girls!
15:44He clapped, snapping them out of it.
15:46I completely forgot you ladies have never met a simulant before, have you?
15:50Well, ladies, this is Gunnery Sergeant Matthew Jackson.
15:53I was human once.
15:55Then my everything went boom.
15:57Then I was in a jar.
15:59Now I'm here.
16:00I'm cool with it.
16:01The mechanical man said casually,
16:03his robotics fashioning a mechanical smile before returning to work.
16:07To make it clearer, the Admiral interjected,
16:11we have a program for anyone who volunteers for it,
16:14to transfer consciousness into mechanical or robotic bodies
16:18for those whose real bodies can't function anymore.
16:21The simulant is basically a mechanical version of the standard human body.
16:26It's a way to stop yourself from dying, at least for a while.
16:29Well, entropy always wins, but at least it gives those like the Gunnery Sergeant here
16:34the better chance to live a full life when the body is just too badly damaged.
16:39I swear to God, if we had this tech when Hawking was around,
16:42we'd have been in space before the 2030 us.
16:45The Admiral grumbled.
16:47Yeah, it's not exactly ethical for some people, but sometimes it's just necessary.
16:52Put human brain into robot body.
16:54Robot become person.
16:55Person lives happy life doing what they want before body failed.
16:59It's sort of a last resort kind of thing when all else fails.
17:02But if it works, it works.
17:04Anyway, back to business.
17:06We're almost to our destination.
17:09Can any of you ladies tell me what we're about to do exactly?
17:12Mr. Burton asked.
17:14They all shared glances and shrugged.
17:16I figured as much.
17:18What we're going to do is use the big guns to blow up and sink ships.
17:22Mr. Burton gleefully exclaimed as Sergeant Matthew put on a helmet and air protectors.
17:28The ship's horn blew again, and the girls could feel the engine wind down
17:33as the ship moved to port to align itself, dropping anchor.
17:37To be more precise, this event is twofold.
17:40One, celebrating 400 years of history with one of the Iowa's glorious broadsides,
17:45followed by the use of derelict craft to create an artificial reef.
17:49We get the fun of seeing this glorious beast do its glorious beastly thing,
17:55followed by the betterment of the ocean when we create more usable surface material
17:59for ocean life to use.
18:01Artificial reefs aren't a new thing either.
18:03We just figured it would be a whole lot of fun to do it this way.
18:07Mr. Burton gleefully bellowed above the noise of the horn.
18:10The rest of the girls were ushered out of the ship and onto transports
18:14that ferried them to the cruise ship nearby.
18:16The six that remained behind were given ear protectors and helmets,
18:21and made to watch a viewing screen nearby as the ceremony started.
18:25The view outside the ship was nothing short of beautiful,
18:28as six decommissioned cargo freighters,
18:31one of which had the hollowed-out shells of car frames and vehicle wrecks
18:35covering its surface.
18:37Four ships in the middle formed a square pattern and two larger ships.
18:41Both heavy cargo freighters flanked either side of the display.
18:45The Iowa had moved into position and the turret started turning.
18:50A full broadside on the larger cargo freighter to the right side of the formation.
18:54The starship, the UNSMC Montana, likewise maneuvered herself to a broadside stance
19:00and readied her eighteen twelve-inch guns into firing position.
19:04A retinue of Marines in ceremonial uniform stepped out onto the front deck
19:08in front of the main deck gun.
19:09The veterans and older servicemen stood to salute, if they could,
19:14and the officers present performed a twenty-one-gun salute with their rifles
19:18before some crew emptied some ashes into the water below.
19:22The national anthem played again with everyone standing to attention.
19:26When the anthem concluded,
19:28Matthew quickly grabbed the girls' attention
19:31and demonstrated how to operate and load the guns.
19:34They didn't have the chance to protest or question this,
19:37as they were quickly ushered into position.
19:40First they loaded a shell, standard He warhead,
19:43then sent in two sacks of gunpowder for range.
19:45Then they were shown how to calculate range, drop, and wind.
19:49The girls worked well under duress
19:51and quickly figured out the angle they needed to hit.
19:54The girls all used various magics and natural abilities
19:57to assist with the process,
19:59helping load in the heavy shell into the breach
20:01with some levitation magic.
20:04They were all made to run their calculations
20:06three times over to make absolutely sure.
20:09Then came the order.
20:10The four ships in the middle were sunk
20:12using demolitions and scuttling charges,
20:15detonated remotely in a brilliant display.
20:18The sergeant yelled at the group,
20:21Ready to fire in three, two, one?
20:23Fire!
20:25The massive warship released all of its shells
20:28within seconds of each other,
20:30alongside the Montana,
20:32and with the thunderous roar of cannon fire,
20:34the shells streaked towards their targets.
20:37The strange mixture of sudden air pressure changes
20:39sent a wave of fear and excitement inside the turret,
20:43and the girls all squealed in shock at the violent force.
20:47It wasn't that much compared to what was happening outside,
20:50but it was still intense.
20:52The shells streaked through the air,
20:54and ten miles away their targets took a direct hit.
20:56The Iowa hit six of her nine shells,
20:59two falling short and one shell flying too far,
21:02hitting one of the scuttled ships instead,
21:04but it still counted.
21:05The Montana loosed all her shells,
21:08and due to advanced targeting systems and modern technology,
21:11every shell hit its intended target,
21:14causing the empty vessel to explode in a fiery display.
21:17The demolition crews then set their charges off in a secondary display,
21:24and with one beautiful, concerted effort,
21:26the Iowa's intended target split in half,
21:30flooded, then quickly sank.
21:32No further shells were to be fired,
21:34so the girls were quickly hurried out of the turret onto the deck
21:37to see what was going on.
21:39They watched a replay on various monitors of how well they fired.
21:43Two of the shells they fired scored direct hits on the target,
21:46setting off one of the scuttling charges at the impact point.
21:50They all felt a sense of accomplishment for their task,
21:53and also they knew they were guaranteed some extra credit for the good job.
21:59The ceremony quickly wrapped up,
22:01and the ship returned to a relaxed station
22:03as the crew started a barbecue on the deck.
22:06It was definitely a memorable day.
22:08A
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