What is sex__ Sex Ed #1

CrashCourseOffical

What even is sex? In this episode of Crash Course Sex Ed, we’ll discover that variation is the name of the game when it comes to sexuality. People differ in how they have sex, why they have sex, and how they define what sex means. #sex,#CrashCourse,#education,#sexual organ

Transcript

00:00Have you had sex?

00:01If not, no big deal.

00:02And if you're like, yeah, done it, currently doing it, okay, yes, go off.

00:06But either way, how do you know?

00:09Like most people would agree, penis in vagina equals S-E-X.

00:13But what about mouth stuff, hand stuff, butt stuff?

00:16When it comes to doing it, what actually counts as it?

00:20Hi, I'm Shamboodram, and this is Crash Course Sex Ed.

00:24Doing it, getting laid.

00:30Don't forget the horizontal hula.

00:32Yes, Teen Shan, thank you for that very helpful addition.

00:35Whatever you call it, there's a whole range of sexcapades people get up to,

00:39involving penises, vaginas, mouths, hands, butts, toys, and so on.

00:43But here's the thing, when people say they're having sex, what exactly do they mean?

00:49Turns out, for a long time, we didn't know.

00:51Not until a guy came along who studied insects.

00:55Teen Shan, let him know.

00:57It's 1938, and Indiana University is offering its first ever marriage class

01:02for married students in need of some sexual and reproductive health 101.

01:07Despite being more of a bug guy, popular professor and entomologist

01:11Alfred Kinsey is enlisted to help teach it.

01:13And the students have lots of sex questions.

01:16Though, they're really all the same question.

01:19What's normal?

01:19Kinsey realized he didn't know.

01:22Nobody did.

01:23Because there simply hadn't been solid scientific study

01:25of what people actually do when they do it.

01:28So Kinsey hatched a plan.

01:30Instead of collecting bugs, he'd collect people's sex histories.

01:33Over the next decade and a half, he and his team interviewed over 18,000 strangers,

01:37asking direct and non-judgmental questions like,

01:40how often do you masturbate?

01:41And when was your first sexual experience?

01:43The team's findings sent shockwaves across the United States.

01:48Masturbation, premarital sex, and same-sex experiences were far more common than assumed,

01:53considering how widely these behaviors were shamed and even punished at the time.

01:57And one of the most influential concepts to come out of that research was the Kinsey scale.

02:02The idea that sexual attraction falls on a continuum, not in two opposite categories.

02:08On a scale, many people fall somewhere in the middle.

02:11Sexual attraction isn't just black and white, it's all the shades in between.

02:15Kinsey's research challenged Americans' perceptions of what was normal sexual behavior,

02:20and it added a lot to the field of sexology, the scientific study of sex.

02:24Today, sexologists continue to research what people do, think, and feel about sex.

02:30Which is why we know more than, like, rumors from your best friend's cousin's neighbor.

02:34And a juicy truth we can pull from the Kinsey scale?

02:37Sexuality, who you are as a sexual being, is about more than just what you're doing in the bedroom,

02:43or on the couch, or not at all.

02:45Sex columnist Dan Savage puts it this way,

02:47sexuality is like a three-layer cake.

02:50There's your sexual orientation, who you want to do it with.

02:55Your sexual behavior, who you actually do it with.

02:58And your sexual identity, who you tell people you do it with

03:01by identifying as gay, straight, bisexual, or something else.

03:05Sometimes those layers are all the same flavor.

03:08Imagine a man who's attracted exclusively to women,

03:11has sex exclusively with women,

03:13and identifies as,

03:15women want me, fish fare me.

03:17I mean, he's straight.

03:18That guy might be a little delulu about his sexual and fishing prowess,

03:22but at least he's comfy with his cake.

03:24But now, let's imagine this fisherman is actually attracted to men,

03:27despite identifying as straight.

03:29His cake has a funfetti layer,

03:32but because of his attitudes around him,

03:34like major anti-funfetti vibes among his friends and family,

03:37he feels ashamed or unsafe acting on that desire,

03:40much less announcing it to the world.

03:41He feels like he needs to hide the funfetti,

03:44and tell the world he's all red velvet.

03:46And when someone experiences a clash in the layers of their sexuality,

03:49this can trigger stress, depression,

03:51and the feeling that they can't fully be themselves.

03:54Often, that inner conflict is thanks to culture,

03:57which is kind of like an iceberg.

03:59You can only see about 10% of it on the outside.

04:02The food, the clothing, the aggressively orange mascots.

04:05The rest is a hulking mask of beliefs, attitudes, and meanings lurking beneath the surface,

04:11influencing how we view the world,

04:12including how we think about sex.

04:15And different cultures circulate their own ideas about what's normal or acceptable.

04:19Like, is sex before marriage forbidden, tolerated, or expected?

04:24Do people talk about sex openly,

04:26or treat it like embarrassing photos from your awkward phase,

04:29only safe with a few trusted people?

04:32Is same-sex attraction punished or embraced?

04:35Every culture regulates sex in some way,

04:37whether that's through formal rules, like legislating homosexuality as a crime,

04:41or through social norms, like closing the bedroom curtains so the neighbors can't see you.

04:46And all that can influence how we feel about, well, the way we feel.

04:51Culture can even influence what we consider sex and what we don't.

04:55Which brings me back to the question,

04:57have you had sex?

04:59How do you know?

05:00Because even within the same culture,

05:03people don't always agree on which behaviors count.

05:05Like in 2017, researchers looked at responses

05:08from over 3,000 straight-identifying men and women in the U.S.

05:12who were asked if they considered butt stuff to be sex.

05:15While 90% agreed that penis and anus equal sex,

05:18when it came to mouths or hands touching a butt,

05:21they were like,

05:21yes!

05:23No!

05:24I don't know.

05:25Except for older men who'd personally done that stuff,

05:28and they were more likely to say,

05:30oh yeah, that's sex for sure.

05:31And when it comes to intimacy, or a feeling of closeness,

05:34that can accompany sex, or not.

05:37Making out can feel intimate,

05:38but so can someone taking your bare, ungluved hand

05:41as you step out of a carriage.

05:43Maybe I've watched Pride and Prejudice too many times.

05:46Give me a minute.

05:48Anyways, maybe you're thinking,

05:50but Shan, there's a reason penis and vagina sex

05:53is the sex.

05:54It makes babies.

05:55Isn't that the whole point?

05:57Okay, yes, true.

05:59Making more life is the reason sex evolved in the first place,

06:01and it stuck around for lots of species because it works.

06:05Combining two individuals' genes creates offspring

06:07with a unique combination of traits,

06:09making it more likely that a species will survive.

06:11But it's not like you'll die

06:13if you never had this kind of sex.

06:15Lots of sexually reproducing species,

06:17us included,

06:18have same-sex sex too,

06:20a behavior that may have evolved

06:21as a way of strengthening social bonds.

06:23And plenty of people have sex

06:25when they aren't physically able to have children

06:28or just don't want to.

06:30In fact, according to a 2007 study,

06:33people have hundreds of reasons for doing it

06:35that have nothing to do with making babies,

06:38ranging from it's fun to

06:40I wanted to get closer to God

06:41to I felt jealous.

06:43I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

06:45And my personal favorite,

06:47it seemed like a good workout.

06:49Get that cardio.

06:51And people's reasons for having or not having sex

06:53can ebb and flow in their lifetime.

06:56Like some people choose not to have sex

06:58until they feel they're ready

06:59or they found the right partner.

07:01And some long-term couples

07:02find themselves having less sex as time goes on.

07:05The point is,

07:06there is no one reason for having sex.

07:08And what we count as knockin' boots

07:10isn't just biological,

07:12it's cultural,

07:13it's personal.

07:14So why does it matter

07:15what counts as sex and what doesn't?

07:16Well, because we act like it matters.

07:20The word virgin is often used

07:22to describe someone who's never had sex.

07:24Historically, the penis and vagina kind.

07:27Just the existence of this word

07:28puts that one act on a pedestal

07:30implying it's THE sex.

07:33And then the word gets used

07:34to organize and judge people

07:36based on whether they've done it or not.

07:38Losing your virginity

07:39can be a badge of honor

07:41or something to be ashamed of

07:42or confused about.

07:44That can be especially complicated

07:45for people whose first time

07:46having penis and vagina sex

07:48wasn't consensual.

07:49Folks who don't want to have sex at all

07:51or those who regularly engage

07:52in other sexy activities.

07:54Like,

07:55are gay people virgins for life

07:57if they never have PNV sex?

07:59I don't think so.

08:00And valuing one kind of sex

08:01over another

08:02can lead to more than internalized shame.

08:04Many studies have found

08:05that LGBTQ plus folks

08:07are likely to endure bullying

08:09and discrimination in their lifetimes

08:10and can even be less likely

08:12to seek medical care

08:13in communities

08:14where sexual diversity

08:15is not widely accepted.

08:16But just because culture

08:17can saturate words

08:18like sex and virginity

08:19with positive or negative values

08:21doesn't mean those values

08:22are objectively true

08:23or set in stone.

08:24Like in a survey from 2014,

08:27many LGBTQ plus people

08:28share that their first time

08:30having sex,

08:31no matter how they define that,

08:33didn't feel like it was

08:33as meaningful as coming out.

08:36And in other studies,

08:37LGBTQ plus people

08:38have told researchers

08:39that they often think

08:41of losing their virginity

08:42as a process,

08:43not a one-time thing.

08:45They've had first times,

08:47plural,

08:47because different sexual experiences

08:49help clarify their identity.

08:51So when you say

08:52you have or hadn't had sex,

08:54what you mean

08:55isn't as straightforward

08:56as you think.

08:57You and I might have

08:58totally different definitions

08:59and that's okay.

09:01There's no single way

09:02of doing it,

09:03no single why for doing it,

09:05and no single thing

09:06that doing it means.

09:07What's normal

09:08is variation.

09:09And ultimately,

09:10it's up to you to decide

09:12what sex means

09:13in your life.

09:15Next time,

09:16we'll explore the wide

09:17and wonderful world

09:18of the vulva.

09:20See you then.

09:20This episode of

09:21Crash Course Sex Ed

09:22was produced in partnership

09:23with the Kinsey Institute

09:25at Indiana University.

09:26If you are interested

09:27in learning more,

09:28visit their website

09:29for resources

09:30that explore the topics

09:31we discussed

09:31in the video today.

09:33Thank you for watching

09:34this episode,

09:35which was filmed

09:35at our studio

09:36in Indianapolis

09:37and was made

09:38with the help

09:38of all these nice people.

09:40If you want to help

09:41keep Crash Course

09:42free for everyone

09:43or ever,

09:44you can join

09:45our community

09:46on Patreon.

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