- 7/2/2025
Marian Marzynski takes a personal journal into how older Americans adjust into their retirement years.
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00:00Funding for Frontline is provided by the annual financial support of viewers like you.
00:30My name is Marian Marzynski. I am on assignment for Frontline, dispatched to a territory no one likes to visit, our old age.
00:56So of course I am in Florida, the holy ground of retirement in America.
01:03That love like ours could never fade. Why must we tear ourselves apart, bring pain to my heart?
01:16I came to this country 25 years ago and tasted American success. Now I am approaching 60 and wonder, what is the American dream for the old?
01:28In a culture where new is better than old and youth better than age, we don't hear much from our elders, except when there is a scare about the future of Social Security or Medicare.
01:51Why must we always say goodbye? Why must we make each other cry? What's the answer, dear?
02:04Retirement under Florida's sun attracts all kinds of Americans. The rich, the poor, the rest of us.
02:15And as for myself, I like Florida, but I am not sure I like the idea of retirement. What kind of journey will it be? A new beginning or just the end?
02:33I have read a lot of books about free time.
03:01I have read a lot of books about retirement. One of them started this way.
03:07No matter how much Grecian formula you put on your hair, America is greying.
03:1325 years from now, one of every five Americans will be over 65.
03:21The projections are that an army of 35 million baby boomers will join me in my retirement.
03:29So here, on the northern edge of Miami Beach, where most retirees are Jewish Americans from the northeast, I am briskly marching into my future.
03:40Do you want to walk with us? We show you how to walk nicely.
03:46Since when you are retired. Since when I'm retired, a year ago.
03:50I walk five miles every single day. Seven days a week.
03:54Okay, what do you do with your hands? Just tell me what is the correct way of walking. Like this long.
03:59All your energy, frustration. Your heart pumps. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
04:04Some people would say that retirement is the end of life.
04:08It's not done. No?
04:11I am thinking about whether I should retire or not. I'm going to be bored. I'm going to be depressed. I want an answer for this question.
04:20Usually forward and backward helps to propel you forward.
04:23Actually, a few of those questions were already answered for me.
04:27Some years ago, I was brainwashed into a healthy lifestyle at Miami's Pritikin Longevity Center.
04:35As an alumni, I visit my teacher and cheerleader, Barbara Udell.
04:40What is the definition of retirement? And what does it mean to you?
04:44Chaim, what does retirement mean to you?
04:46Death.
04:47Death? Did he say death? Could you, like, give a little more, Chaim?
04:51I'll give it to you. As long as a person, man or woman, are capable of producing and building, they should never stop.
05:00Retiring at 65. That mindset is archaic because we now have longevity and so we are younger than we were, than our counterpart a generation ago. Much younger.
05:15Retirement is a very personal word. To me, it's like marriage. It's like love. It's like divorce. It's like religion, sex, politics. It's personal to everyone.
05:28My dream about retirement is a return to basics. When stripped of titles, honors and obligations, we can enjoy life's simplicity.
05:42Show yourself. This is a band.
05:46I shared this idea with Louis Shore when I met him on the beach.
05:50Thank you there. It's very aggravating.
05:52Louis spends summers in New York, winters in Miami. He has the look of a professional retiree.
05:58How is it? How is this spectacle of retirement?
06:04The spectacle of retirement is rather disappointing. I felt lost. I still do at times and I feel that I should have a destiny, some place to go.
06:16I think we were put on this earth to do something constructive. And constructive for me was work, work, work, work.
06:22But people envy you because you are the last happy generation of retired. You benefit of the GI bills, you make money.
06:30You can go on cruises. You can buy yourself all the pleasures.
06:36Yes, we did all those pleasures. Went to the islands and travel through Europe and travel through the Orient.
06:42But that's only temporary. How do you keep your mind going all the time?
06:46That's the important thing. You can fall asleep, but the mind keeps going.
06:51You get up the following day and what do you have? You have the same routine.
06:55You gotta watch the clock. What time is breakfast? What time is lunch?
06:59You know, life is very strange. It's never what you planned for. You keep on going. That's it.
07:07To keep your brain spinning, sign up for classes at Florida International University, said Lewis.
07:17It was a good tip. In their catalog, I found a class preparing young people for retirement, taught by Dr. Tim Patton, a baby boomer.
07:30The geezers. Okay. How many geezers do we have out there? Give me a guess.
07:36Give me a guess. A lot is a nice general ballpark. Yeah, we have a lot and we're getting more.
07:44What we have right now is about roughly 35 million of them.
07:49And within about 20 years, there'll be about 75 million of them.
07:55The boomer group is the other side of the equation because this is the group that's going to overwhelm the whole American system, especially in healthcare.
08:08How much right now is being spent for the healthcare of Americans?
08:12One trillion?
08:13One trillion?
08:14And you know who's consuming it?
08:19Ninety percent is going for the geezers.
08:27What's going to happen when we get that age? When I get that age?
08:30We won't have it.
08:31We won't have it if we keep spending it like that.
08:36I soon found out that Tim Patton's agenda for the boomers is larger than healthcare.
08:42I went to hear him again at a faculty meeting.
08:44We don't want to retire.
08:45We don't want to retire.
08:46We don't want to age.
08:47We don't want to be old.
08:49We want to be us.
08:51We're baby boomers.
08:52We've always been what we consider to be the normal age in America.
08:56And so it's not so much anymore that we're retiring as this pleasant end to a long working career.
09:04It's now also that we're going to be retiring because we're going to be kicked out of the jobs we have
09:09and we best damn be prepared for it to survive a long time.
09:14And it's not just now retiring, having these wonderful years to play a few rounds of golf,
09:19go to early bird dinners and kick off.
09:22But we might have 20 to 25 years of retirement and that's a scary proposition.
09:33The boomers are worrying about retirement, but the geezers are actually doing it.
09:38They may have more answers for my questions.
09:42After much research, I concluded that geezers live in condominiums.
09:48I know this blanket statement may offend those who don't,
09:52but television is known for exaggeration.
09:55I came here to meet Bernie Cohen.
09:58Now this is a built-in siren system.
10:00A CBS news veteran who retired some 25 years ago,
10:03Bernie moved to the Admiral's Port building and ventured into Cando Broadcasting.
10:10Each building has its own Channel 32.
10:13Right.
10:14Now what happens is this. Everybody can see that.
10:17And to entice them, we let them know when the mail is in by putting a sign up there.
10:22Oh.
10:23So they know they don't have to come down to find out.
10:25I think her name is Bernice.
10:29And the man?
10:31His name is Jimmy. I know quite a lot of them.
10:34He is my 89 year old assistant.
10:38He is known as our poet laureate.
10:40I'll bring him right in.
10:41We three came from Brooklyn to Admiral's Port.
10:45A condo we bought.
10:46The pleasure we thought.
10:48It never did happen like fools.
10:49We were caught.
10:50Three slaves we've trained out to be.
10:53On Monday, we're off to Winn-Dixie on Tuesdays.
10:55We're shopping for fish and on Wednesdays, we're cleaning the toilets.
10:58Oh God, you don't know it was never our wish.
11:01A wise flake and ask the three evenings a week.
11:04To know when they speak.
11:05It's action we seek.
11:06Our neighbors ignore us.
11:07They say we are weak.
11:08Our life's just a sham.
11:09No one gives a damn.
11:10We're coming home, Brooklyn.
11:11We are.
11:14So he's 89 and you are?
11:16I'm going to be 80 this year.
11:18He's a teenager.
11:22Halloween party.
11:2492.
11:26My friend Helen here made the costume I'm wearing.
11:29She's a very talented person.
11:32And I'm sure we're going to have a wonderful time.
11:34That's five years ago.
11:35My God.
11:39That's what hurts when I begin to play these things.
11:44People look at that.
11:4619, 20 people have passed away.
11:49Yeah, I'm looking at one of them.
11:50He's alright.
11:51Here, John.
11:52He passed away.
11:54Doc Wallach is still going.
11:55He's 88.
11:57Arthur Scherr.
11:59They're still alive, thank God.
12:01She just lost her husband, Ayoma.
12:03She's 92 now.
12:05He died.
12:06How could I last be?
12:08She died.
12:09That's the doc's wife.
12:10She died about six months ago, right here.
12:11I've learned a lot of Kando gossip from Bernie.
12:20One story was about a woman who was a nervous wreck when she recently moved from Long Island to start her retirement in Miami.
12:28This apartment was rented by a family called Margolis.
12:33Her name is Judith Corson.
12:36So is it beautiful?
12:37It's a magnificent apartment.
12:40It's a beautiful apartment.
12:42I love it.
12:43I'm very comfortable here.
12:47It's grand.
12:48It's spacious.
12:49It's what I'm used to from being in a house, which I've lived in for many, many years.
12:58What's missing here from what's there?
12:59My daughter, my family.
13:02I have a connection with that area.
13:06After all, that was my home for many, many years.
13:10Is retirement a bad wear?
13:12I feel as though it's an ending.
13:15It's almost like a waiting period, and I don't like that feeling.
13:20As I was doing it, I was happy, but at the same time, I was frightened out of my wits.
13:29Yes, because, Judy, what are you doing?
13:33I mean, this is going to be a big, big move for you.
13:37And it's permanent.
13:40And I don't like to think in terms of permanency.
13:44You know what Bernie Cohen is telling me now?
13:48That this condo getting so old that they run out of ideas what to do.
13:52The old-timers like Bernie count on the newcomers like Judith to energize the condo.
14:00The standard joke here is, he's not good-looking, he's not rich, but he drives at night.
14:05He's a good catch.
14:06That fellow who wrote that poem, my tribe made it increase, our tribe is not increasing.
14:12Many of the people are simply too old to partake in any social thing.
14:18If they get through a day, they're a happy person.
14:21Taterers want to see a hundred people guaranteed.
14:24We can't do that any longer, we don't know if we're going to get 50 or 80 or 90.
14:29We try all the time.
14:32And you see who comes down, here we are.
14:35Two big pools and here we are.
14:37Bernie, they're home before 9 o'clock.
14:40Don't say that.
14:41But Jules, after you served them, they went home.
14:47Now you're putting it in like a window.
14:50We were a handful that stayed.
14:52You know, be honest if you're going to talk.
14:56What I saw at Admiral's Port worries me.
14:59The old, so isolated in retirement.
15:02Don't they need the young to survive?
15:04Who said that the seniors must live in peace and quiet?
15:12I think about it while cruising South Beach.
15:16Once a notorious oasis of old age.
15:19Today, an around the clock celebration of youth.
15:23What a symbol of our segregated society.
15:26I need my retirement to be louder.
15:29I should stick with the boomers.
15:35That was a yes shot, but only because we had three no shots before that.
15:40I asked Dr. Tim Patton to tell me more about his prescription for retirement.
15:46Okay, one, we're going to have to stay far healthier.
15:49Because we cannot afford the cost of healthcare.
15:53So coming out and just enjoying, finding ways to reduce stress
15:58and stay a little bit more fit and healthy
16:00is not what the other generation was concerned with.
16:04Yes, they did know all of the problems they were going to have.
16:07So they are costly.
16:08Very costly.
16:10Oh, geez.
16:11Because they're not in shape.
16:13Well, not only are they not in shape and have lots of chronic diseases,
16:17but they have this certain sort of demand on the system that says
16:23the system is responsible for paying for them.
16:26That they're costly because they would rather go in for bypass surgery
16:30than change their diet.
16:33Because in their mentality, that's what the healthcare system does.
16:38It fixes you when you're broke.
16:40In the new generation, we don't want to get broke.
16:43We don't want to have to have somebody come and fix us.
16:47We want to stay as healthy as we can.
16:49I think having leisure and recreation activities becomes all too important.
16:54What do you do if you don't have something to do?
16:58Do you become one of these angry old retired people who lives in a condominium
17:03and yells at people about parking in their parking place?
17:07Yeah, get in life. Get out.
17:08When I'm 75...
17:10Tim says the geezers worked one job, saved for retirement,
17:15and now drain public healthcare dollars.
17:18Boomers are opportunity seekers, job switchers and big spenders.
17:24They challenge 65 as retirement age.
17:27They must stay healthy to be able to work longer.
17:31Tim's agenda is that public funds must be used for preventive healthcare of boomers today
17:37so tomorrow they will cost less and enjoy more.
17:42What's the situation here?
17:44Well, I'm putting a long way for par, but I can make that.
17:48The whole idea is every hole has so many strokes you're supposed to complete it in.
17:54All this talking about fitness reminds me that I need a hobby for my retirement.
18:01I have none.
18:03I can take five minutes to show you the swing
18:05and you're going to have to take your lifetime then to learn it.
18:08I turned to Phil Fargiano, who has shown thousands of retirees the nirvana of golf.
18:14So we want to stand tall.
18:16Do a Japanese hello, we're bending right from the hips.
18:20If you take your club here, put it next to your lower spine,
18:23you're bending right from the hips, bending forward.
18:26When this goes back, the club head goes back...
18:29Actually, I had a bad attitude about this dumb game.
18:34I just happen to have this device here.
18:37My thoughts are wandering.
18:39The future of social security.
18:41Cuts in Medicare.
18:43Your arms just provide shape to the swing.
18:45What happened to universal healthcare plan?
18:48Why did we kill it?
18:50To hell with retirement.
18:51I want to be a boomer.
18:53Well, let me understand.
18:54The idea is that the distance between my arms and my bow here are the same all true.
19:04See, watch your head there.
19:05Move back.
19:06Move away from me a little.
19:08Your chest turns back and it pivots your weight on your right leg.
19:14Around in a circle.
19:16On your downswing, it comes back around, pivoting around in a circle.
19:20Hitting the ball.
19:22Two.
19:24Golf is not for thinkers, I conclude.
19:27And three.
19:32Okay.
19:35Stop.
19:37Remember that stays down.
19:38You're in here.
19:40Another explanation is that I'm out of shape.
19:44Good.
19:46Beautiful, Mario.
19:50At the Pritikin Longevity Center, I exercise with the boomers.
19:55I look at my parents.
19:58You know, they started work at 20.
20:00They wanted just to get to 65, to get their pension.
20:04That's not the type of life that I want.
20:07You know, when I'm finished working, whatever it be, at 55, 65, I want to live the remainder of my life.
20:15And that's why I'm here at Pritikin.
20:17Because I'm a statistic waiting to happen.
20:20My mom died at 43.
20:21Both grandparents, severe diabetics, grandmothers.
20:30Grandfather died with emphysema.
20:33I want to live the remainder of my life.
20:34The more you're interested in growing personally, the more you're interested in learning about how to be a better person, the more you become healthier.
20:47From boomers to geezers and back, I'm commuting between my body and my mind.
21:02Tim Patton invited me to his home at a new development where almost everyone is a baby boomer.
21:11Come on in.
21:12I'd like you to meet my dad.
21:13His father is visiting.
21:14Dad from Youngstown, Ohio.
21:18Right, right, right.
21:20So is a geezer name a bad name or a good name?
21:24Who told you I was a geezer?
21:26There are some things you don't need to tell a person.
21:30You think I am a geezer?
21:32I am in the middle.
21:34I am 60.
21:35I am not a boomer and I try to be geezer, but I am not quite there.
21:39Not quite.
21:40No.
21:41Tell me your routines.
21:42Describe it.
21:44Well, I don't know if every day was the same, but you know, it's basically the same.
21:49She always, we always woke up, we're early people, early in the morning.
21:54I mean, we're awake 5.30, quarter to 6.00.
21:57Why do people who are retired get up at 5 o'clock?
21:59Why do you have to hurry into the day to do nothing?
22:04Well.
22:05It's an inconceivable idea to wake up and not have any plan of what to do for that day or the next day.
22:14I've been doing fine for about five years and don't bother me one bit.
22:18I'm telling you the truth.
22:19I'm not saying...
22:20Geezers and boomers.
22:22Is it an old feud between fathers and sons or the beginning of a new American dream?
22:27No more retirement at 65.
22:30Stay in shape.
22:31Keep working.
22:32Just change gears.
22:33We could go through the whole list of your friends from the Blairs to the Corbits all the
22:37way down the line and God bless them all.
22:40They're not near as good a shape financially or physically as you are.
22:44And mentally, most of them are baskets.
22:47The reason Judith was so nervous about retiring was that Herbert was supposed to move with
23:07move with her but change his mind at the last minute just like that just like now
23:15she hopes he will reconsider his decision this is a Lincoln this is a Lincoln and
23:22the man that is in this Lincoln is your brother
23:29oh you know what traffic I hit all the way Senor if I tell you I had such a rough trip did you sleep
23:42my stomach my head just the thoughts of making changes I got out of the motel Herbie's retirement
23:52has been a bitter one he lives in the past Judy told me he thinks he had a life and it's all
23:59over I tell you the wallpaper has to go I used to have that in my bedroom the girls I used to bring
24:09up that doesn't open it's a couch oh yeah each one of our travesties you know each one of our
24:24Herbert did well in the textile business and thought he had a wonderful family course and I
24:30love life and I love but he divorced 20 years ago retired soon after and concluded that life failed
24:37him it killed me it destroyed me my incentive for my business was rough I couldn't function as good
24:46it's in my head and I'm trying to get it out I'm beginning to understand that the real problem of
24:51retirement is not just money and health but the mind and the spirit I decided to sign up for a
24:59different kind of class at the elders Institute it is called writing your memories it's midnight and I
25:06suppose I should go to bed but why I'm not tired there's lots of programs on late night TV in fact I feel
25:16like having a little snack maybe I could hop in the car and take a ride to the rascal house for some
25:22matzo ball soup you know what this is a good time to do a little laundry at this hour nobody will be
25:30using the washing machines in our building and when the clothes are cleaned and dried I'll put a lot of
25:36cream on my face and nestled down in a nice bubble bath maybe I'll be sleepy by then but if I'm not it's okay
25:44no matter how late I go to bed I can sleep as long as I want in the morning I'm no longer bound by time
25:52and schedules a prisoner for more than 50 years has earned her freedom from labor it's called retirement
26:03her name is Betty Sullivan 69 years old she worked as an administrator in a medical school
26:11how much Betty needs to be happy it probably cost me about maybe a thousand a month that's it yeah six hundred
26:26dollars yeah apartment and four hundred for the rest right well so what yeah to be happy so most people
26:33can they can afford it those people that are only getting like five hundred say from social security or
26:39something what's your social security do they do that what's your mine is 788 I think it is and then I
26:46have a small pension I think my main responsibility is just to keep myself alive alive and within my
26:56budget so that I don't overdo it and to keep healthy actually and to try to have a little fun but I've
27:05always had fun in my whole life you know I've always had I my philosophy it was always live and laugh so
27:12much what's what you think about this I think differently about death than I did before when
27:17it happens it happens you know and but I think that I'm not so sure there's anything afterwards that's
27:25what I mean but whereas years ago I did and I was very philosophical and spiritual maybe about life
27:33hereafter but now I'm not so sure so I kind of think this is it and that this is heaven right here
27:40here your colors is all in green yeah because I figured it was so small that I had to keep it
27:48simple but you know they're fixing the balconies outside so we can't use our balconies see all the dirt
27:55everything they're putting them really just on the balcony when my boyfriend comes over then I pull it
28:03bottom out yeah oh and you move it otherwise it's yeah well for the size of this I'm writing a chronology
28:15oh this had cosmetic eye surgery at San Francis Hospital I tell you I have to those bags here
28:24get rid of it you mean how is it is it is it it makes sense it's good yeah it's good you go in the
28:30office and they give you an injection then he takes you you have to stay wide away without any anesthesia
28:39right because you have to be talking to him while he's doing it and then he takes this scissors and he
28:44cuts away all the skin and you have these big holes and it's so gruesome but but it's great now yeah so
28:53you had you had under under and over you have this also yeah just once this was the worst yeah yeah that
29:00was terrible I'm meeting somebody new I met him and I'm going to be started seeing him because he's a
29:08an active kind of a person and my the boyfriend that I've had for like the last 12 years is like a couch
29:15potato you have to have somebody different for all the things that you like to do because there's
29:21not one person that wants to do everything you want to do she brought me to her line dancing class at
29:32the local shopping mall
29:38side together right with
29:40side together right with
29:43side together right with
29:44side together right with
29:45side together right with
29:48Betty told me that her 17 years of marriage were good but only why they were bringing up their 7 children
29:55only after her divorce she realized that all the while her life lacked freedom for Betty retirement is an adventure
30:06Another woman in my Florida life is Regina Blanc, who I adopted as my Jewish mother.
30:33Regina is 89, still a professional simstress.
30:39She and her friends like to go to Rascal House, the famous Jewish restaurant, for the ultimate
30:44retirement's self-indulgence.
30:49For Regina, a Holocaust survivor, surviving this festival of cholesterol, is peanuts.
30:59Tell me about it.
31:03In Regina, I see my own mother, who lived with us until she died at 82.
31:14The bread.
31:15You take it home.
31:16I know you take it home.
31:18That's the deal.
31:22Regina has been a regular at this bingo hall for a quarter of a century.
31:27I don't go for the money.
31:31When I sit home and sew, I would make more money, believe me.
31:36Just, I go to spend the time.
31:40You're not dating, Regina.
31:42I tell you, I buried two boyfriends.
31:44You had, after you lost your husband, you buried two boyfriends?
31:50He's got to appeal to me, understand?
31:51What are you looking at?
31:52Someone like you, honey.
31:53There used to be 200 players here.
32:05Now, two dozen make a crowd.
32:07G-53.
32:08Bingo!
32:09This is Regina's condo, built in the early 70s and aging now.
32:22Although Regina has outlived most of her peers, her sewing customers keep coming, and she likes
32:28feeling independent.
32:31But for herself...
32:32But her family worries that one day Regina will no longer be able to care for herself,
32:37and thinks she deserves a more comfortable life.
32:40What we want to do for everybody else, but not for herself.
32:42So her granddaughter Amy is trying to talk her into moving to the famous Century Village,
32:47a luxury retirement community in the suburbs.
32:51So Amy says that you should move out, right?
32:54I don't want to move, I'm too old.
32:57What, I'm going to look for new friends?
33:00Many of her friends have already moved to the same place, to Century Village.
33:04So what are you telling her?
33:05That she won't have to make new friends, because they're all there already.
33:08It has security.
33:09It has transportation provided for her.
33:12Just, it's, I'm too old to move.
33:15No, to move.
33:16You think moving is so easy?
33:18What would my own mother have said on the subject of a more comfortable life?
33:23The only comfort I need is you, she would tell me.
33:26I'm afraid another thing.
33:28My sister was living here in this apartment.
33:31Yeah.
33:32Then her husband passed away.
33:35The daughter insisted she should move to Arizona.
33:38When she moved to Arizona, she was living in that new place,
33:44maybe three weeks, or two weeks, and she died.
33:49Different circumstances.
33:50I know, but this is, you know, there's an old,
33:52She had just come out of the hospital.
33:53There's old saying that you do not move old furniture.
33:57Amy arranged for Regina to tour Century Village,
34:01which promises worry-free living for active elders and has been a big success in Florida.
34:07Welcome to Century Village, Mrs. Blank.
34:10Okay.
34:11This is your granddaughter, Amy.
34:12Hi, how are you?
34:13Nice to meet you.
34:14Fine.
34:15I have a brochure over here.
34:16I'd like you to hang on to it.
34:17Can you hold it for your grandma?
34:19Okay.
34:20Please come with me.
34:22We have 13,000 people.
34:24We have 724 acres.
34:26There's 90 acres of water.
34:28You also have all the amenities of the clubhouse belonging to over 70 clubs.
34:34First, I'll show you our beautiful lobby.
34:37Would I want to be surrounded by 13,000 people of the same old age, I asked myself?
34:43Of course not.
34:44I would feel cut off from the real noises of life.
34:49And it has everything that you need over here.
34:52You'll have a lot of friends over here.
34:54As a matter of fact, many people have met their wives over here and met their husbands.
35:00And this is the place where if you want to meet someone, this is a wonderful place.
35:03You'll be very happy over here.
35:05And there's many people to choose from.
35:07So why don't we...
35:09Well, let's step over here and I'll show you a few more things, okay?
35:12But Regina is much older than I.
35:16Would she replace her own niche in life by this elegant, isolated summer camp for elders?
35:23And over here we have a room in here where we have a piano in there.
35:27We have an organ.
35:28There are call groups that meet here.
35:30And it's a very lovely place because if you want to learn how to play piano, we will teach you.
35:36Over here you have your beautiful living room.
35:38And it's a very lovely apartment.
35:41And it's something very attractive.
35:46Regina decided to stay in her old building.
35:49Okay.
35:50Good evening.
35:51And when you see her back at the poker table with the condos' last Mohicans, you understand why.
35:58A pair of tens.
35:59A pair of deuces.
36:01They all lost their husbands here.
36:03They share a bond and fight the solitude by sticking together.
36:08What do you say?
36:09A nickel.
36:10Wait a minute.
36:11She hasn't put any money in.
36:12Where are you going?
36:13She said she did.
36:14She checked.
36:15And she bet.
36:16I did not bet.
36:17And I paid.
36:18And it's up to you.
36:19For Regina, there was no choice between old friends and new comforts.
36:24You have a straight, I have a full house.
36:26What do I need two bathrooms for?
36:28She said.
36:29A full house.
36:30Three jacks and two tens.
36:31Okay.
36:32Okay.
36:33Judith is still trying to convince her brother Herbert to stay with her in Florida.
36:41They share their best times at Highline.
36:53She is a cautious gambler.
36:54What are you doing?
36:55One, two, four, eight.
36:57He is an emotional player.
37:00Herbert says he hates gambling.
37:03He calls it a make-believe life, void of feelings.
37:07But he keeps playing.
37:08Very good.
37:09One more.
37:10One more.
37:11One more.
37:12Good boy.
37:13One more.
37:14One more.
37:15One more.
37:16One more.
37:17One more.
37:18One more.
37:19One more.
37:20One more.
37:21I see.
37:22So now, now, now, now.
37:23One.
37:24One takes it.
37:25Two.
37:26And.
37:27If one goes out, I got it.
37:29One more.
37:31One more.
37:32One more.
37:33Put it away.
37:34Chula.
37:35Chula.
37:36Oh, yes, son.
37:37Here you go.
37:38You want a three to win.
37:39And you want a three to win.
37:40And you want a three to win.
37:41And that is three.
37:42Who is winning?
37:43Oh, you're a jackass.
37:44Who is winning?
37:45Oh, you gave it away, you bastard.
37:46Three.
37:47And three lost it.
37:48Son of a fool.
37:49Three lost it.
37:50So we all.
37:51We all lost.
37:52We all lost.
37:53We all lost.
37:54Judit plays bridge at the local club, but this is not for Herbert.
38:08He wants out of his retirement, but cannot make new business connections.
38:13His savings are shrinking.
38:15Come on.
38:16Do you see yourself as an elder already?
38:18No.
38:19I think I'm a youngster.
38:20You're the aging youngster.
38:21Yeah.
38:22I still feel like I'm a kid.
38:24So in this age, the attachment to what was before stopped you from creating something
38:32new.
38:33Absolutely.
38:34And you still think about your family.
38:35Very well put.
38:36When I ask him what's missing in his life, he says, love.
38:41Live life, Judit tells him.
38:44It's gone.
38:45He answers.
38:53I'm hoping time will be on our side.
38:56Herbert is stuck in the unfinished business of his past.
39:00He cannot let go of his old life, so he cannot start the new one.
39:05It's time, right?
39:06To learn to deal with the problems.
39:10You can get over almost anything if you have the patience and the time.
39:21Will he come to Florida?
39:24No.
39:27Herbert is not the only one among retirees with a sense of being stuck or frozen.
39:33A liminal figure.
39:34I was forced to retire.
39:36And when I was forced to retire, I came down here and put my hands up.
39:41What am I going to do?
39:42I had no hobbies while I was working.
39:46And I don't play cards.
39:48And I don't play tennis.
39:49And I don't play golf.
39:51And I don't do shopping.
39:52Window shopping.
39:53Or shopping in stores.
39:54Or go to luncheons.
39:55What do I do?
39:56You see, I'm looking back too.
39:59Howard Saltzman knows how to deal with those feelings.
40:03Whatever it is.
40:04Do we not, as older people, the elders, sometimes look backwards and try and drop that paradigm,
40:11so to speak?
40:12As Saltzman for 40 years, he then finished college and became the most inspiring coach of retirees.
40:18I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately.
40:23To front only the essential facts of life and see if I could not learn what it had to
40:28teach and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
40:33He teaches a class at the Elders Institute called Think Tank.
40:37Any subject goes.
40:39I was always busy, making a living, doing my job, and suddenly that stops.
40:48And it didn't happen over a long period of time.
40:51It happened when I did decide to retire.
40:54So I was at first frightened.
40:57Frightened of the unknown.
41:00The most important thing is knowing what to do with your spare time, because a lot of
41:06people just vegetate.
41:08And I was more interested in learning and getting more experience with life and doing all the
41:13kind of things I haven't been able to do, because I was tied up in business all my life.
41:17Most of you here, I don't know what your assets are, but your assets are going to go to your
41:22children, are they not?
41:24And the figures are well into the trillions, not the millions, trillions and trillions and
41:29trillions of dollars are going to pop in to these young people, you know, coming in.
41:34Is it not true?
41:35The problem with the current generation is they want immediate gratification.
41:40They don't want to wait as we waited, worked hard, accumulated a little money, and took
41:48everything in stride.
41:49As things came along, we waited for it.
41:51But they want everything that took us a lifetime to have, they want it at the early part of
41:57their lives without working as hard as we did.
41:59Our parents gave us more of love and wisdom.
42:02We do.
42:03We have a tendency sometimes, because maybe we're younger and we have more things that we
42:09do, we have a tendency to give more things that are material.
42:12Material things.
42:13I couldn't think of the word.
42:14Material things.
42:15More material things than our parents gave us, probably because we may be able to afford
42:19it more than they did, but also because it makes it more convenient for us to do so.
42:23And the kids have grown up to accept the fact that lots of times they expect these things.
42:30All the values that you're talking about that the children seem to lack is not their fault.
42:37It's our fault.
42:38Whoever has children like this, they fail to instill the values that we treasure.
42:45The values can still be taught.
42:48That's right.
42:49The values are different.
42:50I saw a movie in which there's a bad sister who won't take responsibility for her dying
42:57father, and the good sister who gives her whole life.
43:01And I was the leader, so I said, do you think the bad sister was bad?
43:05And they said no.
43:06And of course they did, because the new attitude is you've got to live your life.
43:11It's only once.
43:12And it's precarious.
43:14It's dangerous.
43:15So that we have to have new mores that will take care, perhaps eliminate a lot of the wildness
43:24that we've catered.
43:28Are we capable of doing this individually?
43:31More than all the other experts and teachers I met in Florida, it was Howard Salzman who helped
43:37me learn to think about old age.
43:40In the process of growing older, you do become obsessed with yourself.
43:44You know, in the first place you're cut off from business, all the damn people around
43:48you.
43:49You know, your work and your friends and everything.
43:51These people, most of them, they come from up north.
43:53They, you know, New York or something.
43:55All of a sudden they're alone.
43:57You know what I mean?
43:58They have no jobs, they have nothing.
43:59Now what the hell else are you going to be obsessed with except yourself?
44:02Your only company is yourself.
44:04And occasionally you pick up a friend or two.
44:06That's a critical thing.
44:08Then if you're going to, if you really want to engineer something, you may wish to create
44:12a new style of living.
44:14Right.
44:15And so then, so then in a sense from the humanistic point of view, retirement is this second chance
44:21for a human being.
44:22You're hitting it right on the head.
44:24It's a second chance to live, to be a human being.
44:29Is it possible that our American economy has been such that it has separated us?
44:35You know, we're estranged from society and estranged from each other.
44:39You know, in the Orient and other places like that, comes the second chance when you stop
44:45working 60, 65, whatever it is, you really are on the search.
44:50Search of enlightenment, whatever you want.
44:52And you give your business over to the children, you give away your responsibilities,
44:57and you begin searching for, you know, answers and stuff.
45:01If you didn't learn how to live before you reach 65, it's very difficult to teach you how
45:07to live afterwards.
45:09That's one of the shortfalls of our education system.
45:12We're so technically, you know, oriented that we didn't tell them how to be a human being,
45:17how to live, how to enjoy life.
45:19And suddenly the job ceases and there they are.
45:23Now what do I do?
45:24You know, that's basically what it is.
45:26These people...
45:27In Howard, I found a spiritual brother.
45:30It eats away at him.
45:32In Betty Sullivan, a sister.
45:39I haven't seen you for such a long time.
45:41Colorful woman.
45:42It's in today's newspaper.
45:45Yes.
45:46It's still in today's newspaper.
45:48But I'm not getting any response on it.
45:50So if I should do that again, I believe I'd have to change the ad a little bit.
45:56And here's the personals.
45:59And it's under Women Seeking Men.
46:02This is my ad.
46:03It says, easy going gale.
46:05Would like to date happy-go-lucky gentlemen.
46:0865 plus.
46:10Ready for companionship and maybe more.
46:13I didn't put that sentence in.
46:15They did.
46:16But I think of myself as the ex- cheerleader type.
46:19That's what I should put.
46:20Ex...
46:21Absolutely.
46:22Ex- cheerleader type.
46:24Ex- cheerleader searching for...
46:30Oh.
46:31You're still sticking with 65 plus?
46:34Yeah.
46:35They really like our music.
46:36Ex- cheerleader searching for an ex-football player.
46:39For an ex-football player?
46:41Okay.
46:42That's good.
46:43That's good.
46:44What can be negative about football players?
46:48It has to be playful, certainly.
46:50No touchdowns.
46:52No.
46:53No.
46:54No.
46:55So, ex- cheerleader searching for ex-football player.
46:59I am Bob Lee.
47:00You must be funny.
47:02I found another class, sing that song again, where seniors romanticize their past.
47:32By now I am no longer just a reporter, I feel like an insider.
48:02I told Howard Salzman about my Sinatra experience.
48:15The older person is reliving the old experience.
48:18We're doing Frank Sinatra, we're going to the restaurant, we're seeing this show.
48:23What they did for 40 or 50 years.
48:25Do you wish to go, how about taking a trip to somewhere you've never been?
48:30You know what I mean? How about meeting people you were afraid of?
48:34How about, you know, going into the ghetto or whatever?
48:37Meeting strangers, how about meeting a stranger?
48:39There is a tendency with the older people, particularly in the condominiums, to cluster.
48:44Once you walk into retirement, you have to walk into a new age and a new life.
48:51You cannot drag the past into it.
48:54There is certain experience and everything, yes, you can't deny.
48:57But you're looking for enlightenment, so to speak.
49:01Here is a grand time of your life, 65 or whatever it is, and suddenly the world opens up.
49:08And you must leave the past alone.
49:10All the past is going to do is torture you.
49:13So this poem would really hit on this.
49:16There is a phoenix within us all that calls from the depths of our being.
49:23When we listen, we hear, continue on.
49:26Physical limitations are but an invitation to another route.
49:31So make haste, the royal bird readies itself for flight to heights you never dreamed of.
49:37Are you a polka person?
49:39Yes.
49:40Are you a polka person?
49:41Yes.
49:42Are you a polka person?
49:43Yes.
49:44Are you a polka person?
49:45Yes, why?
49:46How is it about teaching me?
49:47I'm loved by the thing.
49:48It's a real, it makes me want to die.
50:01Betty had no answer to her personal aunt.
50:04I had an idea.
50:06I invited her to the last Polish-American club, still offering an old-fashioned dancing floor for seniors.
50:17Betty was bubbling.
50:20One thing she didn't know was that I also invited Howard.
50:25Hi, Sal.
50:27What's your name, Sal?
50:29How are you?
50:30Hi, Howard.
50:31What's your name, Betty?
50:32Betty.
50:33Honey!
50:34Low bed!
50:35Hi!
50:36Betty!
50:37Ta-da!
50:38Have a look at this
50:48Auchin ingenuity.
50:49It's summer!
50:50When?
50:51When?
50:52You remember on the beach, we're talking about retirement and old being a liberation of freedom.
50:57She is incredible at turning these things into a celebration of freedom.
51:03She really is like a little girl living in fairy tale.
51:07She wants to dance all day. She wants to do things.
51:10I like to think that life is dance, like this dance tonight.
51:15Life is a dance. It is a dance.
51:18That's the great dance that you're going to do to the very end,
51:21when you take your final step into the corner,
51:24and you put your hand up and take down the lid.
51:26And hopefully you can find a partner that you can dance with.
51:32When I was single, I started to write a poem about getting married.
51:37And it started off like this.
51:40It started off in just a little while.
51:43Calvaries will bloom along the aisle.
51:46And then I got married and I never finished the poem.
51:50So now I'm divorced and I live alone and everything.
51:53So now I've got to finish the poem.
51:55So how do you suggest that I finish it?
51:58We'll do it on poetry. Let's see what we got.
52:00Okay.
52:01Tender lips.
52:02Alright.
52:03Tender lips come close.
52:06Close.
52:07That I may touch you.
52:08May touch me.
52:09Let your soft breath through.
52:11Tender lips come close.
52:12Tender lips come close.
52:13That I may touch you.
52:14Let your soft breath through.
52:15And become one with mine.
52:16That we may spend some time in the tender embrace of the moment.
52:17Of the moment.
52:18of the moment.
52:19of the moment.
52:20of the moment.
52:21of the moment.
52:22of the moment.
52:23of the moment.
52:24of the moment.
52:25of the moment.
52:26of the moment.
52:27of the moment.
52:28of the moment.
52:29of the moment.
52:30of the moment.
52:31of the moment.
52:32My journey to the land of our second chances was coming to an end.
52:37The most important thing I've learned is that aging is about living in time and it can
52:50be a joy, an illumination for the mind.
52:52Perhaps the Spanish say it best.
52:53Their word for a retiree is jubilado, jubilation.
53:15What a great idea.
53:23There's more to explore about the challenges and rewards of retirement at Frontline's website.
53:39Learn more about some of the retirees featured in this film.
53:43A guide to websites on the internet of special interest for retirees.
53:47And our viewer discussion, a chance to share your thoughts about adjusting to retirement.
53:53Explore Frontline online at www.pbs.org.
54:06Next time on Frontline, once we were brothers.
54:11Some of us made it, some of us didn't.
54:14The income gap is so profound.
54:16How did this happen?
54:17Inequality is growing more rapidly in the black community.
54:21Are we not our brother's keepers?
54:23What kind of people are we really?
54:26And what do we do about it?
54:28Henry Louis Gates Jr. explores the two nations of black America next time on Frontline.
54:34VHS copies of tonight's program are available for $19.98, plus shipping and handling.
54:41To order, call 1-800-828-4PBS.
54:46Now it's time for your letters.
54:59Our program, The Princess and the Press, elicited a mailbag full of opinions.
55:17Here's a sample.
55:18I was disappointed and angered by the media's portrayal in The Princess and the Press.
55:23Your program, as well as the headlines you selected for your website, were a further exploitation of The Princess.
55:28Dear Frontline, I find your propagation of the position that because Diana sometimes invited the media's presence, she forfeited any rights to privacy as very self-serving to your profession.
55:39Dear Frontline, I enjoyed The Princess and the Press very much.
55:42I was expecting another fawning report or expose on the royal family and was pleasantly surprised to find a discussion of the media and its relations to a public person.
55:51Dear Frontline, nothing was said in tonight's Frontline that was new or unknown to me, yet I still found myself livid to the screen listening to every detail.
55:59Princess Diana had this need-to-know attraction that eventually became a tragic end.
56:04It was the Diana persona that kept and still keeps us in thralls.
56:09Tell us what you thought about tonight's program, by fax, by email, or by the US mail.
56:16This is PBS.
56:44This is PBS.
56:45information
56:46What a woman that must be Š“Š°Š½ for today's program.
56:47This is SBS TV.
56:48Š²Š°Ń.
57:02The tambs.
57:04You know what, your performance is profound.
57:05Do you know what, your mind is agewiss ŃŠµŠ»ous vision year and I have never artık is real or not an abundant image.
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