- 7/2/2025
christoher hates the library
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh, there he is again. Christopher.
00:12Don't worry, I didn't bring no phones. So you don't have to worry about me.
00:18I hope so.
00:20Oh, man. One thing I love about libraries, they got books. And no damn cell phones or tablets to destroy your life in here.
00:44Well, off what you up to, buddy. Not much reading a book. No, I'm selling a house.
00:51What's it look like I'm doing? Great smart mouthing.
00:54Selling a house? Looks like Shrek.
00:58I'm gonna go over here and peas and carrots.
01:01Ready? Yeah, I'm reading Shrek. I almost was in it that movie. I was gonna be the ogre.
01:09Yeah.
01:10Alright.
01:11Let's see what's on this shelf.
01:17Whew.
01:18Hold on.
01:20That book.
01:22I think I'm gonna read it.
01:24Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.
01:27Not peas and carrots.
01:29So we got some good books in here, buddy.
01:32Yes.
01:33Not enough to answer.
01:34Great.
01:35Almost fell down.
01:36I have home alone.
01:37You reading that garbage?
01:38It's good.
01:39I watched the movie.
01:40The movie was trash.
01:41I seen it.
01:42I had to go throw up two, three times before it finally ended.
01:45Hmm.
01:46He must be crazy.
01:49Power Rangers is good also.
01:52I can't hold a book.
01:53I want to hold it like this.
01:56This is my home alone book.
02:02Oh no?
02:03How cool?
02:04I can't hold a book!
02:06I hold it like this.
02:08I can't hold the book!
02:10I hold it like this.
02:12This is my Home Alone book.
02:14Perfect.
02:16And nice.
02:18I'm gonna read it with Elsie.
02:20Or Brianna.
02:24Yes. Hello.
02:26You bought a phone? No.
02:28Better.
02:30Plus, it ain't good.
02:32I'm gonna test out this Home Alone book.
02:34Usually the books are better than the movie.
02:36The books are better than the movie.
02:46They're smoking.
02:48That's good.
02:52Ding ding!
02:58What?
03:00What's that?
03:02Smoking is healthy.
03:06You're right.
03:08It looks like I'm gonna have to put my cigarette out until I'm ready to leave.
03:16There we go.
03:18Bunch of pansies.
03:20Can't take a little bit of smoke.
03:22Ugh.
03:24What happened?
03:26Last time I remember a giant smoke cloud come in over me.
03:36I thought it was smog.
03:38I thought it was living in Los Angeles.
03:40To get back to the Shrek book.
03:42Did it get them?
03:44Yep.
03:46Did it get them?
03:47Yep.
03:48You got them.
03:52Hold on.
03:54That angle didn't hit me.
03:58What was that?
04:02What were you looking at me for?
04:04I didn't start a forest fire.
04:06I didn't start a forest fire.
04:08You are a wasp of Farianana with a cigar.
04:14You know it.
04:15Everybody loves their solders.
04:19I think I forgot to turn off my oven.
04:22Mm-hmm.
04:32God.
04:35I think my Home Alone book is on that shelf.
04:38Gonna be smoking again.
04:41Well, you have to brave the fire and put a mask on.
04:46I'm gonna call Roy in the fire department.
04:48Go in and get it.
04:55Hey, kid.
04:56You're back.
05:01Guess I don't like good cigars.
05:05I hate to say it, but that thing is causing a lot of damage than you think.
05:13Probably is.
05:14Maybe I should stop.
05:17Wrong direction.
05:22I don't want a cigar.
05:28That Home Alone book gonna do more danger than my cigar.
05:32I'm gonna wait over here.
05:35That way I'm getting close to that wasp of Farianana.
05:46Man, I can't find no books to my liking.
05:47What about Harry Potter?
05:48Man.
05:49Freaklies.
05:50Never.
05:51Freaklies.
05:52They got any books in here with big butts or anything?
05:53Yes.
05:54Uh, yes.
05:55Where, where?
05:56At the library.
05:57Got a table.
05:58Oh, you got some big butt books up here, buddy?
05:59Uh, yes, we do.
06:00I keep throwing them on the floor.
06:01Just give me this one that ain't ripped.
06:02Here.
06:03I knew I'd fall down.
06:04I never fell down.
06:05Let me read this big butts issue.
06:07Da, da, da, da, da.
06:08Da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
06:09Oh, you got some big butt books up here buddy? Yes, we do.
06:15I keep throwing them on the floor. Just give me this one that ain't ripped.
06:25I knew I'd fall down. I never fell these slippery floors. Let me read this big butts issue.
06:39What are you looking at buddy?
06:46So I can stansk because I can't stansk no more.
06:50Why can't you stansk?
06:52A whole long book.
06:53Man, I'm surprised you could stand it for one second.
06:58You should see the movie. It's garbage.
07:04I don't want to brave it.
07:06The girls are over there close here.
07:09Oh, hello.
07:12What the hell? What's up?
07:13I'm coming over here to look at the book.
07:15Alrighty, I'm going to go here and look at the book somewhere else.
07:19Your face is making me sick.
07:21Your cigar is making me sick.
07:31Crickets everywhere.
07:33Hey, there's minions.
07:36Me.
07:36Uh, there's minions too.
07:40Hmm, interesting.
07:43Hey, I think I will, um, look at the, there's a lot of Harry Potter.
07:50Oh, there's a very interesting Harry Potter book over there.
07:54Oh, I think.
07:59No, there ain't.
08:01There there is.
08:03I want to relax on that smoke.
08:07Watch it.
08:08It's getting close to me.
08:09You know, I ain't the type for that kind of thing.
08:12I don't know what you're trying to do, what you're getting too close for, but I don't swing that way.
08:17So, watch it.
08:19Shells are being restocked.
08:27Alright, bye.
08:29I am going to look for that Harry Potter book.
08:33I didn't do it!
08:35It's supposed to make noise in a library like that.
08:37I know, it's that shrimp!
08:43Oh, honey, who did that noise?
08:46Um, uh, it was him!
08:49It wasn't me, it was that shrimpy-looking kid that just ran off.
08:53Oh, I have one more disturbance.
08:58You're going to be kicked out for life, even though my library looks different now.
09:03And by a minute, you're kicked out.
09:09Ah!
09:10Now, why do I be quiet?
09:16I...
09:17Hey, if you're left of this home alone,
09:21I think I will...
09:22I think I'm going to look at it.
09:27I never read Harry Potter before.
09:32Sorry.
09:34What are you doing hanging around me so much anyway?
09:36You're disturbing my Shrek book.
09:38I'm already on page 106.
09:41I've got three more pages to go.
09:43It's got 110 pages in it.
09:44A tree lost its life for this book, so...
09:47Stop it, uh...
09:49I forgot what I'm going to say.
09:50Stop interrupting me.
09:53Barbarian!
09:55Yes?
09:56This shrimpy kid...
09:58It's about time.
09:59This shrimpy kid over here is interfering with my reading my last three pages.
10:03My last three pages?
10:05What is he doing?
10:06He's over here making noise.
10:10Did I told you?
10:11And he's talking when he's coming in.
10:13Knowing I'm reading and he's still talking.
10:18This will be the last time.
10:19Don't get me out!
10:23He'll be back.
10:28He's like a wart.
10:29It always comes back.
10:30It always comes back.
10:38Alrighty.
10:39Die time is chance!
10:42Alright, Alana.
10:43Be careful.
10:43You're going to get the last few pages down.
11:02Achoo!
11:06Librarian!
11:07Librarian!
11:07Hey, I sneeze!
11:09Well, watch that sneezing.
11:12Sticky nose out the window or something.
11:16The book keeps getting farther away.
11:18It's running from me.
11:19Well, we better make room for him.
11:36My hair needs to end.
11:39But my mom doesn't want to.
11:45Hey, buddy.
11:45You should see page seven.
11:47I'm talking wild.
11:50Hmm.
11:59Usually, what's the variant?
12:00Oh, they say, hey, Mom.
12:02Hey, Mom.
12:03What a good book.
12:04Maybe I shouldn't ask.
12:07It's RBR.
12:08What condition?
12:10Well, this is a library.
12:12You can't do too much in here.
12:13And then the hand lurking behind the couch came closer and clucked.
12:24RBR!
12:24RBR!
12:25RBR!
12:25I'm off.
12:28It was a hand behind the couch.
12:30It got me.
12:32Well, I hope that the animals get you.
12:35What's the variant on and Chris are doing much more damage than you.
12:41What's that book?
12:44Let me see what happened.
12:46And then it said,
12:47use Chris's toothpaste to brighten your teeth and to fight cavities.
12:52It's an ad.
12:53An ad's better than a movie.
12:55I mean, book.
12:56Librarian, Librarian, the shrimp's running around.
13:07I can't concentrate.
13:09Did I tell you, Christopher?
13:12Oh, boy.
13:13I've got to wait on Elsie until she's finished.
13:18Gee.
13:19You're not bored here.
13:21Well, how do you stand it?
13:26It's over here.
13:33Ah, the book.
13:35It's hard to be quiet nowadays.
13:45I'll take that.
13:48Alrighty.
13:51Man, is this good.
13:56Sorry about that, man.
14:06There's some good stuff.
14:09I can't enjoy a book.
14:12What?
14:14Do you have a book on
14:16otters in the ocean?
14:20Uh, no.
14:21You should get some.
14:23Man, this is a great place to do some stuff.
14:28stuff.
14:58Librarian, Librarian.
15:01He's over there making noise and he's got my chair.
15:05I saw that. You quote them on him.
15:09Who wouldn't?
15:20Can I borrow that cigar?
15:22Just give me a new one.
15:23Sure, Mon. Here.
15:25Yeah, Lionel.
15:28What was that?
15:31There's only one I can wake you up.
15:34Don't sleep in a
15:35freaking library.
15:38You're yelling
15:39who wouldn't with your shenanigans.
15:43Jeez, Elsie,
15:44are you finished with that already?
15:46There's 2,050 more
15:48pages to go.
15:49That should take
15:50two hours more.
15:52Two hours more?
15:54No, four hours.
15:58Yeah.
16:00I don't know, wait four hours?
16:04What are you reading?
16:05I have no idea.
16:07What's it say?
16:08Uh, that's funky lighting.
16:10I don't understand that.
16:11I think it says
16:12water runs over the
16:14little pail.
16:15I don't know how to read
16:18a book like that.
16:18I want to find out
16:19where the water's going.
16:21Oh, you do?
16:22Mm-hmm.
16:23Might find out
16:24where the water's going.
16:24I can go visit it sometime.
16:28Would you be quiet?
16:30You want some?
16:31I'll give it to you.
16:32Oh, yeah.
16:35It's the book.
16:37It's exciting.
16:38It's water.
16:39It's, uh,
16:39really
16:40traveling.
16:42It's
16:42towards the
16:43sewer.
16:45Hope it
16:45makes it out
16:47alive.
16:49Shut me up, man.
16:54Shut me up.
16:55Man,
16:56that water droplet.
16:57It's
16:57really
16:58exciting.
17:01You don't know.
17:03You should read it sometime.
17:06It's
17:07causing trouble.
17:07I'm not
17:08causing trouble.
17:10Well,
17:11read your last
17:11three pages
17:12and get the
17:13hell out of here.
17:15You're
17:15doing on this
17:16table.
17:16Your name ain't
17:17on it.
17:18Oh, yeah.
17:20I mean,
17:21that's fine.
17:22I mean,
17:23I fell on the
17:25floor.
17:26Nice
17:26going.
17:27Why don't you
17:29show off, son?
17:30Why,
17:30blame me,
17:30I went to the
17:31bathroom.
17:32Man,
17:32never mind.
17:33I'm waiting on
17:33him to come
17:34back.
17:36What you
17:36doing in
17:37the bathroom?
17:38Man,
17:39he's whizzing
17:40or something.
17:40What do you
17:40think you
17:41do in the
17:41bathroom?
17:44I don't
17:45know.
17:45You can
17:45comb your
17:46hair.
17:51Hey,
17:51hold on.
17:53Want to
17:53see a
17:53sandwich?
17:54Yeah,
17:55sure.
17:56A knuckle
17:56sandwich.
18:00Yeah,
18:01got away
18:01with that
18:02one.
18:04I hope
18:05he fell
18:07out.
18:08Oh,
18:08what happened?
18:14I remember
18:15somebody offered
18:15me a
18:15sandwich.
18:17Where'd my
18:18chair go?
18:18somebody got
18:22my chair?
18:25Now,
18:25sit,
18:26darling,
18:26wait for it!
18:27This ain't my
18:28chair.
18:28It don't have
18:28my ass
18:29imprints on
18:30it.
18:30That is.
18:31a little plastic
18:35thing on it.
18:36Good boy.
18:39Jeez,
18:39I'm
18:39mad at you.
18:40Something
18:40hit me.
18:42Felt like
18:42somebody threw
18:43a locomotive.
18:44All right,
18:45I will want
18:46to know
18:47where are the
18:48Harry Potter
18:50lights falling
18:52into the dark
18:53book.
18:55You know
18:55what book
18:56that is?
18:56I have no idea
18:57of mine.
18:57It's book
19:0441.
19:05All the books
19:06are numbered.
19:07And for some
19:07reason,
19:08one show,
19:08people keep
19:09mixing up
19:10the numbers.
19:10I gotta get
19:11those books
19:11back.
19:13All right.
19:17Book
19:1841.
19:201,
19:2140,
19:235,
19:256,
19:2610,
19:2712,
19:2916,
19:3020.
19:31What's the
19:31counting is that?
19:32People mix up
19:33the books.
19:33Ah-ha,
19:34here's 41.
19:38I better get it.
19:48You're going the
19:49wrong direction.
19:50Now you gotta wait.
19:50Where'd he go?
19:52Ah-ha.
19:54Yay!
19:55I cannot wait!
19:56I can't wait!
19:56rip the book.
20:05Why are you so
20:06crying all of a
20:07sudden?
20:08It sounded like
20:09you was lying
20:10and finished
20:10your hearing.
20:11uh that book wasn't too interesting
20:21alrighty i better think this book doesn't go here so do this one and this one
20:32alrighty hey there's only 29 which 41 uh christopher said he put it back
20:40i don't believe him alrighty well bye i'm done in here bye
20:47finally i got these last three pages finished no thanks to this jackass over here
20:55ah you're a librarian you put this back i'm done
20:59alrighty i'm gonna go over here and relax a little before i go out
21:04ah don't worry i'm not checking i'm not sleeping i'm checking my eyelids for cracks
21:10that's where i put the book oh there's something under here
21:16uh librarian there's something under this over here could you come and check
21:20oh they ain't scared of bugs that shrimp was here i don't know what he's done
21:25but there feels like there's something under here
21:27a ripped up book so that's what he did over here
21:36christopher christopher where are you
21:42i gotta be quiet christopher where are you
21:49can i borrow another secret yeah here you go man
21:52bombs away
21:56oh honey did you rip that book no
22:02um um um um uh she ripped the book i did not rip no book
22:08um um um um uh the sign ripped the book i don't know i don't know it um it maybe uh ripped it with the sharp edges
22:24well that kid's just sinking fast it's like the titanic
22:31well um i was trying to read a book easy uh i will be back
22:41this is the loudest library we've ever been in you can't even read a book you can't relax
22:47hit over the head with a chair and hit somebody over the head with a chair
22:51the cops man
22:58what happened to that uh last minute it just went down there's my line
23:04all right you called the cops what happened
23:09he ripped the book and then gave it back
23:12did you rip a book and not give it back
23:13what did he do with it
23:15he got the book and said hooray i'm ready to read it
23:19he hit it
23:20and then he stopped
23:20he hit it
23:22well what he what did he do what were the damages to the book
23:25he ripped one page out of it
23:27and he didn't even tell you so you could try to glue it back or anything
23:31he just hid what he done
23:33when you destroy something if it's an accident
23:38if it's on purpose it will go to jail and be punished it was an accident
23:43listen to me shrimp
23:44uh that sign did it
23:46that sign cannot rip a book
23:49it can
23:50if you accidentally rip a book you tell somebody about it if it's an accident you're not going to be punished
23:55but the way your behavior is you're going to get it good you want to go to jail
23:58no
23:59where's the book
24:00uh over there
24:01you're going to be liable for the charges how much you're thinking to take to fix it
24:09uh about two uh two thousand dollars
24:14all right i'm going to contact your parents
24:17my dad's going to kill me
24:23where's my mom
24:24this library has to carry duct tape
24:28now you got my spot
24:29can't you
24:30somewhere else
24:33come on
24:35the cops were in here
24:37i can't believe it
24:39the cops
24:40the cops were in here
24:41can't you believe it
24:43i believe it
24:45the way your behavior is you're going to end up in prison the rest of your life when you get older
24:48hi
24:50uh
24:51uh
24:53i probably have to buy a new book
24:57and that will be worse
25:00ding ding i contacted the the kids parents shrimp
25:05i checked on the cost of fixing the book back
25:08it is two thousand dollars
25:10so your dad said he's going to take fifty percent of your allowance and the other fifty
25:14you're going to be doing a lot of chores around the house to pay that money off
25:18and that includes socks
25:21i hate washing socks
25:24crickets money
25:33everywhere money does crickets
25:35well i didn't mean to rip the book
25:39what's their problem
25:45well i'm already used to it
25:47looks like you're starring in a
25:52porn movie
25:54get up mom
25:56you're embarrassing yourself
25:58oh what happened
26:00next thing i remember a forest fire started
26:02five alarm
26:04oh my god
26:08see you in the hill
26:20got it now
26:22where'd that otter go
26:25he just got arrested for hitting an otter with a chair knocking a bookshelf out the window
26:34he did
26:36and the otter went out the window with it
26:39oh poor christopher
26:42poor christopher
26:44poor
26:45poor otter
26:47where's he at
26:54where's he at man
26:55where's he at
26:56he got arrested
26:57i'm going to pay his bill so i can beat the hell out of him
27:01that otter pay your bill
27:16uh yes
27:18really
27:19what'd you do afterwards
27:21beat me up
27:22man you deserve it
27:24i'm trying to hit you
27:26what are you trying to hit me for
27:29you're annoying
27:30annoying i didn't ever do nothing
27:32you did it all
27:34ow
27:35ugh
27:36not just i have to do choice
27:39i only got arrested for life
27:42and i got hit
27:43alright that's enough
27:45that's yeah
27:47i'm out of this library
27:49wow i only got two pages to go
27:52you've been here for three hours already
27:54i've been here for three hours
27:57alright mon
28:02time to end this cricket episode
28:05all about sierra
28:06if you enjoyed this episode
28:08like subscribe and share
28:10like subscribe
28:11yeah share that's what i'm looking for
28:13and do all that stuff you do to videos
28:16and we'll see you next time
28:18on all about sierra
28:19i didn't get to do anything
28:22i'll stop showing up late
28:23well bye everybody
28:26now i have to go home
28:28get my ass smacked
28:29and do the chores
28:30good for you mom
28:32and do the chores
28:36i'll see you next time
28:37i'll see you next time
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