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MISSION ORPHAN TIME?! | Helluva Shorts 5 - Helluva Boss Madness
BANG NAZIR
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2 days ago
MISSION ORPHAN TIME?! | Helluva Shorts 5 - Helluva Boss Madness
Category
🎥
Short film
Transcript
Display full video transcript
00:00
All right, Looney, today we're dealing with a children's entertainer.
00:25
It goes by Mr. Rigglers.
00:27
That must be a good one for you and me, and I think you know why.
00:30
Uh, yeah.
00:31
I hate that sunshine and rainbow shit.
00:33
These guys always turn out to be sickos.
00:35
Where are we?
00:36
His third world sex resort?
00:38
His slave cult compound?
00:40
I just thought he would be really easy to kill, you know?
00:42
And then we can have the whole rest of the day for daddy-daughter time!
00:45
Ugh, fine.
00:47
Okay, you go on and I'll just sneak in.
00:57
Holy shit, that was just unlocked.
01:00
Well, of course!
01:01
My door's always open to a new friend.
01:04
Would you happen to be an orphan?
01:06
Wh-
01:07
Am I a what?
01:08
An orphan?
01:10
Y-yeah.
01:11
Actually, I am.
01:12
How did you run the charity event?
01:14
Oh!
01:15
Uh, yes.
01:16
Why isn't that just a wonderful thing that makes you special?
01:20
What can I do to brighten up your day?
01:23
Yeah, you can cut the Santa Claus shit.
01:25
I actually came to kill you.
01:26
Oh, heavens.
01:27
These wish-a-wish things sure have gotten mighty extreme.
01:31
Well, if that would make you happy, you're more than welcome.
01:35
Anything for an orphan.
01:40
Uh, he's an orphan too.
01:41
He has fucking red-itis.
01:44
Oh, hello there, special friend.
01:46
Hi!
01:47
Luna, what's the deal here?
01:50
Were you waiting on me?
01:51
Yeah, I was just about to shoot him.
01:53
You want to get comfortable or any last requests?
01:56
Oh, I wouldn't want to be a bother.
01:58
Given your limited time left on this earth, I'd like you to enjoy it.
02:03
We might have a sec.
02:05
What is it?
02:06
I just want to say goodbye to my children.
02:09
The red-itis will probably kill me by the-
02:11
Wait, what?!
02:12
That's very kind.
02:15
Luna, what in Satan's sphincter has gotten into you?
02:18
I don't know.
02:19
Would it really be the worst thing to let a dad spend some time with his kids?
02:22
That's what I'm saying.
02:23
He's being a total dick.
02:27
Fine.
02:28
Just make it quick, you shriveled nutsack.
02:30
You've always been great.
02:33
We go catching frogs in the summer.
02:36
Take care of your mother for me.
02:38
I'll be in your dreams.
02:41
Now don't miss me too much.
02:44
And when you walk down that aisle, whoever it's with.
02:49
Where are my manners?
02:50
Have you met my new friends?
02:52
They're about to kill me.
02:54
I want you to have it.
02:56
The only letter missing to a special is you.
03:02
Alright, I'm not buying it.
03:03
There's no way this many women drop their panties for the guy who teaches the ABCs to puppets.
03:10
No, no, no.
03:11
I've been happily married for 74 years to my very first sweetheart.
03:17
And I exclusively and regularly perform oral sex on her.
03:22
She gets more pleasure that way, so I much prefer it to intercourse.
03:27
Then where the fuck did all these kids come from?
03:30
A lot of orphans have trouble getting adopted, so I just adopt those ones myself.
03:36
Well, isn't that just fucking great?
03:39
We wasted the whole damn day on this!
03:41
Oh, what a beautiful sunset.
03:43
I'd quite like to watch that as I go.
03:46
Will you join me?
03:59
I'm glad I could make a new friend today.
04:02
I hope I see you again in a great beyond.
04:05
Well, I'll be in hell, so probably not.
04:07
Unless there's something I don't know about you.
04:10
You know who I am.
04:12
And I know someday you'll show the world who you really are.
04:16
I don't think they'd like the real me.
04:18
I know I would.
04:20
Ta-da!
04:35
You make a new friend.
04:36
You're funny.
04:37
Yeah.
04:38
Yeah.
04:39
Oh.
04:40
Oh.
04:41
Oh.
04:42
Oh.
04:43
Oh.
04:44
Oh.
04:45
Oh.
04:46
Oh.
04:47
Oh.
04:48
Oh.
04:49
Oh, God.
04:50
Oh, my God.
04:51
Oh, my God.
04:52
Daddy will fix this!
05:22
To be continued...
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