- 30/06/2025
My Boyfriend's Back (1993) is a comedy with a twist, following a teenager who will do anything to win the heart of the girl he loves — even after an unexpected turn of fate. With a mix of humor, heart, and quirky situations, the film offers a lighthearted take on young love, second chances, and being true to yourself, no matter how unusual the circumstances.
my boyfriend's back, my boyfriend's back 1993, comedy movie, teen comedy, 90s comedy, high school movie, romantic comedy, quirky film, funny romance, classic 90s movies, lighthearted film, offbeat humor, cult comedy, feel good movie, family friendly comedy
my boyfriend's back, my boyfriend's back 1993, comedy movie, teen comedy, 90s comedy, high school movie, romantic comedy, quirky film, funny romance, classic 90s movies, lighthearted film, offbeat humor, cult comedy, feel good movie, family friendly comedy
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Art et designTranscription
00:00:00Sous-titrage MFP.
00:00:30All my life, I've been in love with Missy McLeod.
00:00:34That's her, back at her first-grade birthday party.
00:00:38Even at the age of six, Missy was the kind of girl that everyone just liked being around.
00:00:44Me especially. That's me in the back, with the little red fireman's hat on.
00:00:50And that is the most amazing present in the world.
00:00:54It took me almost a year to save up enough to buy it.
00:00:58And when she opened it, I was sure she'd fall helplessly in love with me.
00:01:03It couldn't fail.
00:01:07Johnny, don't you have something for Missy?
00:01:12This was it. My golden moment.
00:01:16In front of everyone, the most exotic creature alive would fall totally in love with me. Forever.
00:01:21I had the confidence. I had the gift.
00:01:26Wilson?
00:01:29But I went out.
00:01:31Take time!
00:01:36What are you looking at, dirt bag?
00:01:41Over the next 12 years, I lusted after Missy.
00:01:55She filled out in all the right places.
00:01:57The ones I'd been reading about in the National Geographic.
00:02:01The more she grew up, the more helplessly in love I became.
00:02:06That was the problem.
00:02:07Well, you know what they say.
00:02:09Love makes you do crazy things.
00:02:12Well, my love for Missy drove me to do the most unimaginable thing one human being can do to another.
00:02:18But that comes later.
00:02:20My story begins at the end of my senior year in high school.
00:02:23On the historic day after Missy broke up with Buck Van Patten,
00:02:27her boyfriend for the last six years,
00:02:29I was ecstatic.
00:02:30This day was the beginning of the end of my life.
00:02:42Damn right, 715.
00:02:43Oh!
00:02:44Oh!
00:02:59Dude.
00:03:08Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
00:03:10What's your hurry there, son?
00:03:12Today I'm going to ask the most perfect girl in the world to the prom.
00:03:14Oh, you're going to ask your own mother, eh?
00:03:18Oh, you.
00:03:20Sit down, honey.
00:03:22Breakfast is ready.
00:03:23What's the time, Mom?
00:03:24Always time for a good breakfast.
00:03:26You're absolutely right.
00:03:29A donut isn't breakfast.
00:03:30It's fine, Mom.
00:03:32Where's the vitamin C?
00:03:33Where's the fiber?
00:03:35I'll eat on the way.
00:03:36Oh, well, that way better not take you across Mrs. Jones' yard, son.
00:03:40We don't want the neighbors to think ill of us.
00:03:44Hi, Mrs. Smedge.
00:03:50You said you wanted to see me,
00:03:52but then you changed your mind.
00:03:53Morning, Johnny.
00:03:56Morning, Mrs. Jones.
00:03:57Hope you don't think ill of me.
00:03:58You bet it's so dark in time.
00:04:02Maybe I'm not the right thing for you,
00:04:05because I worked too hard to believe it's true,
00:04:08but then I love all the crazy things you do,
00:04:11so I'm in limbo.
00:04:12Oh, my God.
00:04:14Hello.
00:04:15Come on.
00:04:16Hey.
00:04:18I ask you, yes or no,
00:04:20you tell me maybe.
00:04:23Morning, John.
00:04:24Hey.
00:04:25Certainly yes.
00:04:26No, I think I'm in hate.
00:04:31Well, Johnson never had it so good,
00:04:33because if it's hell, I'm in it,
00:04:35at least it's understood.
00:04:36And I'd believe in heaven if I only could,
00:04:39but I'm in limbo.
00:04:42I'm dancing in limbo.
00:04:44Well, they don't know what they want from me,
00:04:49and maybe I don't know where I want to be,
00:04:52but with the way things look,
00:04:54I know we're permanently,
00:04:55and I'm in limbo.
00:04:57Hello, man, Johnny.
00:04:58Hi, Mrs. Apple Bob.
00:04:59Come on, Jackson, boy.
00:05:01Baby, we're about to shake your body down.
00:05:05We're gonna groove it in beauty.
00:05:08I'm drawing it down.
00:05:13There she is.
00:05:14That's Missy, all grown up.
00:05:18And that's my friend Eddie.
00:05:21He's a dick, but I like him.
00:05:24Hey, Missy.
00:05:25I just wanted to say you look really nice today
00:05:28in a physically perfect,
00:05:31newly available kind of way.
00:05:35Thanks.
00:05:36Extinguish all talking.
00:05:39Now, who can tell me how heroes are created?
00:05:42Gerald?
00:05:43Well, that's a tricky question.
00:05:46I don't think heroes are born.
00:05:49I think they're made.
00:05:51They're normal men
00:05:52faced with extraordinary circumstances.
00:05:56My personal hero is Jane Goodall.
00:06:01When she was born,
00:06:02she didn't know anything about apes and their culture.
00:06:05But as she grew,
00:06:07she studied really hard.
00:06:08Hey, Tiger.
00:06:11You talking to me?
00:06:13Mm-hmm.
00:06:14I know that you've been really concerned lately
00:06:17that you're still a virgin
00:06:19and you don't have a date to the prom.
00:06:21and that you're sexually stupid.
00:06:29But those things,
00:06:31they mean nothing to me.
00:06:33I love you just the way you are.
00:06:37Oh, I see.
00:06:39I'm dreaming.
00:06:39We're here at the lovely Fairview Gymnasium,
00:06:47the site of Johnny Dingle's
00:06:49most ambitious sexual challenge today.
00:06:52And there's Johnny Dingle himself
00:06:53looking really pumped up for tonight's event.
00:06:56The crowd just loves this kid.
00:06:59It looks like he may go all the way tonight.
00:07:03And there he goes.
00:07:05Oh, and a flag on the play!
00:07:09First is foul.
00:07:10The challenger, Johnny Dingle,
00:07:11is not using a regulation-sized unit.
00:07:14He's disqualified!
00:07:16What do you mean it's not regulation?
00:07:18This is the most pathetic sexual fantasy
00:07:21I've ever seen.
00:07:24Say goodnight, sex boy.
00:07:27No!
00:07:28Go get her.
00:07:36Attention soon.
00:07:37There will be a surprise-fired rule.
00:07:39Missy!
00:07:39Yeah?
00:07:41I, uh...
00:07:42I have something I want to ask.
00:07:46Okay, shoot.
00:07:51You trying to hypnotize me?
00:07:54No, no, um...
00:07:56No, what I want to ask is this.
00:07:58Since you're not seeing Buck anymore,
00:08:00I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go to the...
00:08:02Midway!
00:08:09No!
00:08:09No!
00:08:11Buck, what are you doing?
00:08:13What is this?
00:08:14I am so sorry.
00:08:16I'm an idiot.
00:08:17Well, no kidding.
00:08:18You stand me up,
00:08:19and then you don't even call me.
00:08:21My car broke down.
00:08:22I had to walk eight miles through the rain
00:08:24to get to a telephone,
00:08:25and by the time I got there,
00:08:26you were already gone.
00:08:26Really?
00:08:28I would walk on glass
00:08:29and eat donkeys for you.
00:08:32I can't live knowing that you're not mine.
00:08:36Will you go to prom with me?
00:08:40Of course I will, silly.
00:08:43I'm sorry, too.
00:08:44Let's not fight anymore.
00:08:45What's up, Dingle?
00:08:55Nice zit.
00:08:56See you, Johnny.
00:08:57What are you looking at?
00:09:02Nothing.
00:09:03Dirt bag.
00:09:07Well,
00:09:08that blew ropey goat chunks now, didn't it?
00:09:12It's not over.
00:09:13That's when I came up with a plan
00:09:16that would change my life forever.
00:09:18And it could have worked, too.
00:09:19It was swashbuckling, romantic, daring.
00:09:23All right.
00:09:24Let me see it.
00:09:25This is absurd.
00:09:27Let me see it.
00:09:28Unfortunately,
00:09:29it depended on Eddie.
00:09:33All right.
00:09:34Give me all your money.
00:09:36That was it?
00:09:37That was menacing?
00:09:37All right.
00:09:39Newsflash.
00:09:39This just in, Johnny.
00:09:40Missy is going to the prom with Buck.
00:09:43You got it?
00:09:43Look,
00:09:44you pretend to kill her.
00:09:45I save her life.
00:09:46She thinks I'm a hero,
00:09:48ditches Buck,
00:09:48and goes to the prom with me.
00:09:50How sweet is that?
00:09:52This is desperate,
00:09:54and this is sick.
00:09:55I think you should get some therapy.
00:09:57I do.
00:09:59With the steadfast support
00:10:00of my best friend
00:10:01and the cool cunning
00:10:02of a master tactician,
00:10:04I swung into action.
00:10:05You're not being your lover
00:10:08Ain't such a shame
00:10:10Don't you feel the same
00:10:13That you should be
00:10:15Fine, fine, fine
00:10:18Yet such a shame
00:10:21Tell me who you are
00:10:22Hi, Johnny.
00:10:24Hey there.
00:10:37Is that it?
00:10:38Anything else?
00:10:44Yeah, um, please.
00:10:49Freeze!
00:10:50Don't move!
00:10:51Give me your money!
00:10:52Give me your money!
00:10:57Give me your money!
00:10:58Come on!
00:10:58Come on!
00:10:59What the hell
00:11:13do you think you're doing?
00:11:16Uh, nothing.
00:11:18You gonna rob this store?
00:11:20Uh, yes.
00:11:21Yes, I was.
00:11:22But you can rob it
00:11:23if you want.
00:11:24I'll come back tomorrow.
00:11:24I can always come back tomorrow.
00:11:25Give me your mask.
00:11:28Okay, we have one fly swatter,
00:11:30one pair of red fuzzy dice,
00:11:33yellow army tank.
00:11:38Anything else?
00:11:39Chinese checkers,
00:11:40a birdhouse, perhaps?
00:11:41All right, give me all your money
00:11:46or I'll blow your goddamn brains out.
00:11:48Hey!
00:11:49Don't talk to her like that!
00:11:51What?
00:11:51Who the hell
00:11:52do you think you are, buddy?
00:11:54Excuse me.
00:11:55Do you have a gun?
00:11:56No.
00:11:56Then shut up!
00:11:58That's the one at the top.
00:11:59What?
00:12:02Let's go.
00:12:04Damn right.
00:12:05Let's go.
00:12:06Let's go!
00:12:12Look out!
00:12:25Johnny?
00:12:29Johnny?
00:12:30Oh my god
00:12:33I'm not dreaming
00:12:36Would you like to go to the prom with me?
00:12:42Sure
00:12:43Great
00:13:00Oh John are you lost are you alone?
00:13:05If you fall in your empty forest and you cry out
00:13:08Will no one hear you?
00:13:10We here today will join you in such a short time
00:13:13We will miss you
00:13:15Dear God
00:13:16Ashes to ashes dust to dust
00:13:19What once was is no longer
00:13:21Amen
00:13:22Amen
00:13:23Amen
00:13:30Goodbye son
00:13:56Be nice to God
00:13:58I made you bologna and mustard
00:14:02With the edges cut off
00:14:05Just the way you like it
00:14:07You ate all of it do you mean?
00:14:12Can you hear your mother?
00:14:15Come on Marge
00:14:15Goodbye Johnny
00:14:26I wish we could have gotten to know each other
00:14:30I wish you'd have gotten to know each other
00:14:36Bye
00:14:37cool
00:14:45Yeah
00:14:48I wish I could be Gemeilla
00:14:49I wish someone you could have gotten to know every other day
00:15:22C'est parti !
00:16:21C'est parti !
00:16:23C'est parti !
00:16:25C'est parti !
00:16:27C'est parti !
00:16:29C'est parti !
00:17:01C'est parti !
00:17:03C'est parti !
00:17:05C'est parti !
00:17:07C'est parti !
00:17:09C'est parti !
00:17:11C'est parti !
00:17:13C'est parti !
00:17:15C'est parti !
00:17:17C'est parti !
00:17:19C'est parti !
00:17:21C'est parti !
00:17:23C'est parti !
00:17:25C'est parti !
00:17:27C'est parti !
00:17:29C'est parti !
00:17:31C'est parti !
00:17:33C'est parti !
00:17:35C'est parti !
00:17:37C'est parti !
00:17:39C'est parti !
00:17:41C'est parti !
00:17:43C'est parti !
00:17:45C'est parti !
00:17:47C'est parti !
00:17:51C'est parti !
00:17:53C'est parti !
00:17:55C'est parti !
00:17:57C'est parti !
00:17:59C'est parti !
00:18:01C'est parti !
00:18:02C'est parti !
00:18:03C'est parti !
00:18:04C'est parti !
00:18:05C'est parti !
00:18:06C'est parti !
00:18:07C'est parti !
00:18:08C'est parti !
00:18:09C'est parti !
00:18:10C'est parti !
00:18:11C'est parti !
00:18:12C'est parti !
00:18:13C'est parti !
00:18:14C'est parti !
00:18:15C'est parti !
00:18:16C'est parti !
00:18:17C'est parti !
00:18:18C'est parti !
00:18:19C'est parti !
00:18:20C'est parti !
00:18:21C'est parti !
00:18:22C'est parti !
00:18:23C'est parti !
00:18:24C'est parti !
00:18:25C'est parti !
00:18:26C'est parti !
00:18:27C'est parti !
00:18:28C'est parti !
00:18:29C'est parti !
00:18:30J'ai besoin de la nourriture de la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin.
00:19:00Oh my god
00:19:18I am dead
00:19:22Johnny
00:19:30I am not going to dr. Bronson. I'm not that desperate. Oh, oh, I guess I know
00:19:59One young man who's not going to go to school today. Hello, dr. Bronson. This is Marge Dingle
00:20:05Dr. Bronson, the reason I called is our son Johnny
00:20:09Died the other day and I was wondering if you could take a look at him
00:20:12Would you like to talk to him? Sure. Johnny?
00:20:16Eddie Connors
00:20:19Yeah
00:20:20Johnny Dingle
00:20:24Hey
00:20:34Hey
00:20:35Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Cooper
00:20:40You wouldn't believe the trouble I had getting here
00:20:43I would believe it and I'm not impressed
00:20:46You get one demerit
00:20:48But
00:20:48Just because you're dead does not mean that you can come waltzing in here whenever you like
00:20:53John Frick
00:20:56Where is it?
00:20:58Linda Giffen
00:20:59Hi
00:21:02Hi
00:21:03Hey, Missy
00:21:04Wait a minute
00:21:05Johnny, hi
00:21:06Uh, listen, you know
00:21:07I think it's really great that you're back from the dead hole, but I've got Jim
00:21:10But wait a minute
00:21:11Is that him?
00:21:13Yeah
00:21:13Look
00:21:16Maybe she's uncomfortable because
00:21:19You know, you are recently deceased
00:21:22Eddie, come on, be serious
00:21:23I am serious, Barry
00:21:24I'm just dead, it's not like I'm an asshole or anything
00:21:26Well, I didn't say you were an asshole
00:21:28It's just that some people might consider being dead somewhat
00:21:32Unfashionable
00:21:34That's really shallow of you, Eddie
00:21:37Cut up and eat your food
00:21:38God
00:21:42I can't eat this, it's disgusting
00:21:45You never thought it was disgusting before
00:21:47This is totally different, they must have done something weird to it
00:21:49Well, if you don't want it, I'll eat it
00:21:51What do you mean, what?
00:22:07You just tried to take a bite out of my arm
00:22:08I'm sorry, Eddie
00:22:11It's just gonna be a little bite
00:22:13Johnny, you shouldn't be taking any bites
00:22:15Here, let me see
00:22:16No, no, no
00:22:17You just got the hell away from my arm
00:22:22See ya
00:22:30Missy
00:22:32Hey
00:22:33Hey
00:22:34I just want to know what time I should pick you up for the prom
00:22:37Um, you shouldn't
00:22:40What do you mean?
00:22:43I have to go
00:22:44Wait a minute, are you mad because I tried to take a bite out of Eddie?
00:22:48Oh, no, of course not
00:22:50Then what's wrong?
00:22:51You're not breaking our date, are you?
00:22:53I came back from the dead for this date
00:22:54Well, gee, Johnny, it's just I really didn't expect you to make it
00:22:58Well, I wouldn't have asked if I couldn't make it
00:23:00I'm sorry
00:23:03Oh, hey, look
00:23:05It's that dead kid
00:23:06It's because I'm dead, isn't it?
00:23:09That's why you won't go out with me
00:23:11Don't insult me
00:23:12You're afraid of what people might say, aren't you?
00:23:14Behind your back
00:23:15Everybody whispering
00:23:16There goes Missy with the dead kid
00:23:18Look
00:23:18That has nothing to do with it, okay?
00:23:20I only said I would go to the prom with you because you were dying
00:23:22I'm Buck's girlfriend
00:23:24All right, then
00:23:25Forget the prom for now
00:23:26How about a movie?
00:23:27Johnny
00:23:28Hi there
00:23:29Buck, hi
00:23:30Hi
00:23:30Dead little snot
00:23:32You think you can hang out with those decent living folks like you're still alive or something?
00:23:36Why is everyone making such a big deal about this?
00:23:39I've only been dead one day
00:23:41We're watching you, dead boy
00:23:42We don't like your kind
00:23:44You're stinking up the whole school
00:23:45Chuck
00:23:46What are people gonna say?
00:23:48My girlfriend hanging out with a decaying kid
00:23:50I don't really care what people think
00:23:52And he's actually a nice guy, so cut it out
00:23:55Let's go
00:23:56I better not ever catch you with that dead kid again
00:23:59I got a reputation
00:24:01Yes
00:24:06This was it
00:24:08This was the beginning of a dream come true
00:24:12I picked her up early
00:24:13I had all the right moves
00:24:15I was like Tom Cruise
00:24:17Only dead
00:24:18The stage was set for the most romantic evening in history
00:24:23The very pathetic room of hell itself
00:24:27Oh, no
00:24:28Eternally seeking the flesh of the living
00:24:33The thirsty zombies
00:24:36Howling on the flesh
00:24:38Oh, I'm sorry
00:24:39I'm sorry
00:24:40Excuse me
00:24:42Thanks
00:24:47What are these?
00:24:57Juju peas
00:24:57Really?
00:24:59Are they good?
00:25:00I've never had one
00:25:01Never?
00:25:03You've never had a juju pea?
00:25:05Say
00:25:05Isn't that Bucks girl?
00:25:09Sure it is
00:25:10What's she doing here with the dead kid?
00:25:11I don't know, man
00:25:12You're good, right?
00:25:14But what's the problem?
00:25:16I'm sucking my teeth
00:25:17Right
00:25:18So what you want to do is
00:25:19You want to take a drink of your soap
00:25:22Why?
00:25:25Just take a drink
00:25:26Trust me
00:25:26There's something wonderful happening in your mouth now, right?
00:25:34I can't believe that you came up with the whole system for this
00:25:42Oh, God, I'm sorry
00:25:46No, no, it's okay
00:25:50Bloodthirsty zombies
00:25:52At the foot of your bed
00:25:54Howling for your flesh
00:25:56Zombies
00:25:58Like seven
00:25:59Like seven
00:26:01You know, it's terrible the way those zombie movies twist the truth like that
00:26:13There's a lot of prejudice against the undead
00:26:16Can I touch you?
00:26:33Uh-huh
00:26:33Your skin feels different than most guys
00:26:41Does that hurt?
00:26:43Not much
00:26:44Can you even feel it?
00:26:49Uh-huh
00:26:50Can you feel that?
00:26:56Yeah, I can feel that
00:26:58I like you, Johnny
00:27:03Really?
00:27:08Can I kiss you?
00:27:11Uh-huh
00:27:12I don't know what it is about you now, John
00:27:42But you're driving me crazy
00:27:43Uh-huh
00:27:44You see?
00:27:49Huh
00:27:49I know you're already going
00:27:52This buck to the prom
00:27:54But I was thinking that maybe, um
00:27:57What was that?
00:28:02Oh, ew
00:28:03What?
00:28:07Your ear fell off
00:28:09Oh, shit
00:28:11Is that you, sweetheart?
00:28:14Uh, yes, Dad
00:28:15Here, take your ear
00:28:16Oh, shit
00:28:17But
00:28:19I heard someone my age is supposed to be comfortable with the way their body changes
00:28:27But given the circumstances
00:28:28This was too much
00:28:30Dr. Bronson
00:28:34Dr. Bronson
00:28:38Dr. Bronson
00:28:38Yes
00:28:43I'm dead
00:28:45Okay, well, you're dead
00:29:14Uh, which is unusual
00:29:15Uh, which is unusual
00:29:15Because we don't normally see this much activity in a dead person
00:29:19Let's look at your symptoms
00:29:20I'm decaying
00:29:22Oh, good
00:29:23Symptom number one
00:29:24Decay
00:29:25All right
00:29:25Is that your ear, then?
00:29:27It fell off about 20 minutes ago
00:29:29Man, I see it
00:29:30It's still in good shape
00:29:34It's just not on my head
00:29:35Hello
00:29:36Hello
00:29:37I'm just teasing
00:29:38May I keep it?
00:29:40No way
00:29:41Well, I need skin samples so I can run some tests
00:29:45Well
00:29:47Here
00:29:50Well, that's very disgusting
00:29:54But I guess that'll do fine
00:29:55Well, isn't there, um
00:29:56Some kind of medicine I could take while you look at that?
00:30:00A shot or something?
00:30:01To avoid decaying
00:30:02Yes
00:30:03No
00:30:04Everything that is dead
00:30:05Eventually decays
00:30:07Oh, my God
00:30:10Wait, wait, Peter
00:30:13I do think
00:30:14Maybe I
00:30:15Ah-ha
00:30:16Oh, what?
00:30:18I think I can help you with that ear
00:30:19You want me to glue it on?
00:30:22Well, it's either that
00:30:23Or the staple gun
00:30:25Okay, fine
00:30:29This takes care of my ear
00:30:32What should I do about the rest of me?
00:30:37You really want to know what I'd do in your situation?
00:30:42That's when he sent me to Maggie Benson
00:30:43The doctor said that at the rate I was decaying
00:30:47I'd be dead
00:30:48Really dead by tomorrow
00:30:50So Maggie was my only choice
00:30:51Local legend had it that her husband came back from the dead
00:30:5615 years ago
00:30:57Just like me
00:30:58So if anyone could help me with my decaying thing
00:31:01She'd be the one
00:31:02Hello?
00:31:07Anybody here?
00:31:23Ha!
00:31:26Oh, my dear boy
00:31:28You're a zombie
00:31:31C'est bon, c'est bon, c'est bon.
00:32:01C'est bon, c'est bon.
00:32:31C'est bon, c'est bon.
00:33:01C'est bon.
00:34:03C'est bon.
00:34:35C'est bon.
00:34:37C'est bon.
00:34:39C'est bon.
00:34:41C'est bon.
00:34:43C'est bon.
00:34:45C'est bon.
00:34:47C'est bon.
00:34:49C'est bon.
00:34:51C'est bon.
00:34:53C'est bon.
00:34:55C'est bon.
00:34:57C'est bon.
00:34:59C'est bon.
00:35:01C'est bon.
00:35:03C'est bon.
00:35:05C'est bon.
00:35:07C'est bon.
00:35:09C'est bon.
00:35:11C'est bon.
00:35:13C'est bon.
00:35:15C'est bon.
00:35:17C'est bon.
00:35:19C'est bon.
00:35:21C'est bon.
00:35:23C'est bon.
00:35:25C'est bon.
00:35:26C'est bon.
00:35:27Je pensez.
00:35:28C'est bon.
00:35:29C'est bon.
00:35:30C'est bon.
00:35:31Oh, shit.
00:35:34What?
00:35:36Sorry.
00:35:38Oh, c'est pas grave. C'est pas votre cul.
00:35:41Here, je vais voir si je peux...
00:35:43Vous avez l'air vraiment bien.
00:35:48Thanks.
00:35:54Oh, mon.
00:35:58Je vais le prendre.
00:36:01Oh, c'est pas grave.
00:36:31Non, c'est pas grave.
00:36:35There.
00:36:36Much better.
00:36:39Listen, Johnny, it's getting kind of late,
00:36:42and I should probably be going.
00:36:43So you can lay down and let that nose harden.
00:36:48No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:36:49Don't leave.
00:36:49Don't leave.
00:36:50I want to talk to you about...
00:36:51Let's go!
00:36:53Johnny?
00:36:54I am not even going to look.
00:36:55Just get this thing off of me.
00:36:56I'm sorry.
00:36:58I'm sorry.
00:37:00I'll see you tomorrow.
00:37:01No, wait, everything's fine.
00:37:03Don't leave.
00:37:04Minor setback.
00:37:07Johnny, look at you.
00:37:09I'm fine.
00:37:10Nothing else is going to fall off.
00:37:17Thank you, God.
00:37:26Thank you, God.
00:37:27Shake a leg, Johnny.
00:37:29Breakfast.
00:37:31Mom, I told you I can't eat that stuff anymore.
00:37:37There'll be someone I can eat.
00:37:38I think it's over there.
00:37:54I don't know.
00:38:08Back off, dead boy.
00:38:27Sorry.
00:38:29Hi, Johnny.
00:38:32Oh, hi.
00:38:33Do you remember last night when we were in the car and...
00:38:37Your ear, you know, it...
00:38:38Fell off?
00:38:38Right.
00:38:39Well, that got me to wondering.
00:38:42What if your other ear were to fall off?
00:38:45Uh-huh.
00:38:47Well, then what if other stuff started falling off?
00:38:51I don't know, like your arms or something.
00:38:53Yeah.
00:38:54Well, then if stuff just kept falling off...
00:38:57Pretty soon...
00:38:59I'd just be a little pile of stuff.
00:39:01Right.
00:39:03So what I was wondering is if something like that might actually happen.
00:39:06If it did, would you feel different towards me?
00:39:10Is that what's going to happen to you, Johnny?
00:39:14It's...
00:39:15It's a definite possibility.
00:39:18Oh, God.
00:39:19You are so different from any other guy I have ever known.
00:39:26Buck would kill me if he found out I was going out with you.
00:39:29Oh, you're decaying and...
00:39:32Still...
00:39:35God, I wish you were dead.
00:39:38Me too.
00:39:38You know, I've never kissed a dead guy before you, Johnny.
00:39:45Gotcha!
00:39:46Jeez!
00:39:47Damn it!
00:39:48Hold me!
00:39:49Come here, you sticky-danky out of the torture!
00:39:53Buck, stop him!
00:39:54Come here!
00:39:55Come on!
00:39:58You don't understand!
00:40:00Come on, Chuck.
00:40:01Hold on.
00:40:01Sit down and just hatch this thing out!
00:40:03I'm going to kill you, dead boy!
00:40:05Come here, you sticky-dank!
00:40:12Yahoo, touch her!
00:40:14Chuck, what?
00:40:15Chuck.
00:40:17Chuck.
00:40:18Chuck, what's on me?
00:40:20Chuck.
00:40:21Chuck.
00:40:22Chuck, let's discuss this.
00:40:25Okay.
00:40:25Uh-oh.
00:40:50Huh?
00:40:51Uh-oh.
00:40:56Chuck?
00:40:59You okay?
00:41:00Uh-oh.
00:41:00Uh-oh.
00:41:01Uh-oh.
00:41:02Uh-oh.
00:41:03Uh-oh.
00:41:04Uh-oh.
00:41:10I am really, truly sorry about this, Chuck.
00:41:15There's just no other way.
00:41:16Uh-oh.
00:41:18Uh-oh.
00:41:19Uh-oh.
00:41:20Uh-oh.
00:41:23Whoa!
00:41:24Oh, no!
00:41:26Oh.
00:41:27Hi, Eddie.
00:41:28You know, colleges look at this sort of thing.
00:41:31Oh.
00:41:32Johnny?
00:41:34Oh, great.
00:41:37Oh, my God!
00:41:39How could you?
00:41:41You ate Chuck!
00:41:43Not all of him.
00:41:45Hello, this is Brenda Bodine, and we're coming to you live from Therapy High School, where we just
00:41:50received word that some sort of tragedy has happened in the high school today.
00:41:52Keep everyone away.
00:41:53Excuse me, Sheriff McCloud.
00:41:54I'm gonna have to ask y'all.
00:41:55We just received word that some sort of tragedy has happened in the high school today.
00:41:57Uh, no.
00:41:58Nothing unusual.
00:41:59Well, I was referring to the slaughter.
00:42:00Right.
00:42:01Well, there was that earlier today, one of the students got badly killed.
00:42:04Well, we've heard reports that the murderer might have been 17-year-old Johnny Dingle.
00:42:09I'm gonna make an official statement here.
00:42:12Uh, Johnny Dingle is dead.
00:42:14Yes, but then this wouldn't be the first time that someone has come back from the dead in
00:42:18Fairview to wreak havoc on an innocent victim.
00:42:20What is a zombie?
00:42:21And how can you tell if there's one living in your neighborhood?
00:42:27a chicken.
00:42:28A meal.
00:42:29What is it?
00:42:30Uh, you have a patient?
00:42:31I'm busy.
00:42:32It's Chuck Vronsky.
00:42:33He was eaten in school today.
00:42:34All right, all right.
00:42:35I'll have a look at him.
00:42:36But while I'm doing that, I want you to go out and find me a live chicken.
00:42:40A chicken?
00:42:41Just do it.
00:42:42All right.
00:42:43Hello, Chuck.
00:42:44My name is Dr. Bronson.
00:42:45How are we doing today?
00:42:46I see.
00:42:47Uh, you have a patient?
00:42:48Uh, you have a patient?
00:42:49I'm busy.
00:42:50It's Chuck Vronsky.
00:42:51He was eaten in school today.
00:42:52All right, all right.
00:42:53I'll have a look at him.
00:42:54But while I'm doing that, I want you to go out and find me a live chicken.
00:42:57A chicken?
00:42:58Just do it!
00:43:01Hello, Chuck.
00:43:02My name is Dr. Bronson.
00:43:03How are we doing today?
00:43:05I see.
00:43:07I see.
00:43:10Chuck, you've suffered a lot of bleeding.
00:43:14And, uh, there's an ax in your head.
00:43:17And it appears that someone has eaten your stomach.
00:43:20The pulse is a little lower than I'd like.
00:43:23Let's just take a look at your, at your retinal response.
00:43:29Oh, oh, oh.
00:43:30Oh, hi.
00:43:31You must be Big Chuck Vronsky.
00:43:33Hello.
00:43:34Yeah.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:37And I'm afraid I have some bad news.
00:43:39Your boy is very sick.
00:43:41He's lost a massive amount of blood.
00:43:43And his pulse and retinal response are poor.
00:43:45And as you can see, there's an ax sticking out of his head.
00:43:48He's not sick, you idiot.
00:43:49He's dead!
00:43:50Oh, everybody's a doctor.
00:43:52You think maybe I could make the diagnosis?
00:43:55It's like somebody ate him.
00:43:58What kind of a monster would do that to another human being?
00:44:05Mom?
00:44:07Here.
00:44:08I have a big problem.
00:44:10John, you have a visitor.
00:44:14Oh, hey, Eddie.
00:44:15Look, about today, that wasn't entirely my fault.
00:44:18Oh, it's not just today. It's yesterday, too.
00:44:20What happened yesterday?
00:44:22You tried to eat my arm, pal.
00:44:24Oh, I think you owe someone an apology.
00:44:27I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.
00:44:30Look, just...
00:44:31Just don't try to eat me anymore, all right?
00:44:35Promise.
00:44:36Still butts?
00:44:37Huh?
00:44:39Yeah, still butts.
00:44:41That's what I like to hear.
00:44:46Hi, honey.
00:44:47Hi, sweetie.
00:44:49Oh, son.
00:44:51Did you, by any chance, murder a boy in school today?
00:44:54It wasn't murder. It was an accident.
00:44:56Well, I hope you didn't eat him.
00:45:00Because lunch is in five minutes, and I picked up something special for you at the supermarket.
00:45:04Oh, boy.
00:45:07Hi.
00:45:08Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
00:45:10Mmm.
00:45:11Mmm.
00:45:12You picked up a little, kid!
00:45:13Mmm.
00:45:14Am I wrong, or do you have to eat the flesh of the living?
00:45:16Mom, I absolutely can't do that anymore.
00:45:19Well, there are hungry people all over the world who'd be thrilled to eat him.
00:45:23Yeah, my mom says that to me all the time.
00:45:25Mm-hmm.
00:45:26Come on, just... just send him home.
00:45:28Mm-hmm.
00:45:29Uh, I'll get it.
00:45:30Oh, shit.
00:45:31Oh, shit.
00:45:32Mm-hmm.
00:45:33Mm-hmm.
00:45:34Mm-hmm.
00:45:35Mm-hmm.
00:45:36Mm-hmm.
00:45:37Mm-hmm.
00:45:38Mm-hmm.
00:45:39Mm-hmm.
00:45:40Mm-hmm.
00:45:41Mm-hmm.
00:45:42Mm-hmm.
00:45:43Mm-hmm.
00:45:44Mm-hmm.
00:45:45Dingle?
00:45:46Yes?
00:45:47I understand that your boy is a zombie.
00:45:49Mm-hmm.
00:45:50Yes, that's right.
00:45:51Well, he killed and ate my boy today, so me and some of the other guys decided to come
00:45:56over and talk to him.
00:45:58Uh, hold on.
00:46:00Honey, there's some people here who want to talk to Johnny.
00:46:03Invite him in.
00:46:04Uh, I don't want them to think ill of us.
00:46:08Well, uh, oh, honey, this is the father of the boy that Johnny murdered in school today.
00:46:14Oh, I know how difficult it is to lose his son.
00:46:17We lost Johnny just a couple of days ago.
00:46:20Yes, ma'am.
00:46:21I'm still reeling.
00:46:23So, is there some way we could see the boy?
00:46:26Sure think he's hiding in the closet.
00:46:28Johnny!
00:46:29Come on out, sweetie!
00:46:31Are they gone?
00:46:34Whoa!
00:46:36Hey!
00:46:37Quit it!
00:46:41Ooh, wow.
00:46:43Wow.
00:46:44Will you cut it out?
00:46:45Ooh, wicked awesome.
00:46:46Uh, fellas, uh, see, Johnny's already dead, you see.
00:46:49So, um, you're gonna have a hard time killing him.
00:46:52Hi, Daddy.
00:46:54Oh, hi, Little Chuck.
00:46:56Little Chuck!
00:46:57This is Little Chuck?
00:46:58What are you doing with my one remaining son?
00:47:01Nice going, ma.
00:47:02Daddy, that dead man tried to eat me.
00:47:06Stop it!
00:47:07That won't work, you idiots.
00:47:10But this will.
00:47:14Excuse me.
00:47:17You wouldn't shoot me.
00:47:19I might.
00:47:23Jesus!
00:47:24Now get out of my house.
00:47:26Here I'll clip your manhood.
00:47:29All right, ma!
00:47:30Come on, let's get out of here.
00:47:31Come on, let's get out of here.
00:47:33Let's go, Little Chuck.
00:47:38We'll be back.
00:47:39We'll be back.
00:47:40We'll be back.
00:47:51It was time to stop running.
00:47:54Time to summon up the courage that had eluded me for twelve straight years.
00:48:00Time to complete my life's mission.
00:48:02It was still there.
00:48:13Waiting patiently for this moment.
00:48:15Gathering a little dust, sure, but otherwise...
00:48:19Untouched.
00:48:23I had the confidence.
00:48:24I had the gift.
00:48:27This time I was definitely ready.
00:48:29I was actually not looking forward to going to the prom.
00:48:35And then my mom found this place where they dye your shoes the exact same shade as your fabric.
00:48:42And they're also dyeing my purse.
00:48:44Can I tell you, I am so relieved that you're going to the prom with Buck.
00:48:49I mean, I heard this really nasty rumor that you might be going with that dead kid.
00:48:54Oh, no, we just went to the movies together.
00:48:57I...
00:48:59He died for me. I figured it was the least that I could do.
00:49:01No big deal.
00:49:10Hi.
00:49:12Johnny, please, just leave.
00:49:13No, you have to listen to me.
00:49:15How can you expect me to listen to you after what you did to Chuck?
00:49:17I'm going to talk to you about that.
00:49:22There is nothing you can say to make things better, Johnny, because you ate someone.
00:49:26Do you understand that? You ate someone.
00:49:28Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you afraid I might eat you? Is that the problem?
00:49:31Are you kidding me? Will you just leave me alone?
00:49:35You may not know this, Missy, but I ate Chuck for you.
00:49:38God, my boyfriend won't even pump gas for me.
00:49:45What?
00:49:47Oh, geez, Miss. I didn't want to eat him, but it was the only way I could live long enough to go to the prom with you.
00:49:53Who ate someone just to go to the prom with me?
00:49:59I died for you. I came back from the dead for you.
00:50:04I love you.
00:50:06Oh, no.
00:50:12Come on, let's go.
00:50:15I don't understand, Johnny.
00:50:17What?
00:50:18How you can love me so much? How you can do all these things for me?
00:50:24By God, if it ain't a zombie, I'm with a living woman.
00:50:27He's mighty proud.
00:50:29Go get Chuck.
00:50:32Look, Miss.
00:50:34Other people might want you because you're pretty and popular and they want to be seen with you.
00:50:40I want you because I love you.
00:50:44And I always have.
00:50:45It's not natural, hmm?
00:50:51What's this?
00:50:53Open it.
00:50:55I've been trying to give you this since the first grade.
00:51:02Oh.
00:51:04You are the kindest, smartest, most beautiful girl I've ever known.
00:51:08And, uh, and I would die happy if you would dance just one dance with me at the prom.
00:51:15I would love to go to the prom with you.
00:51:17I would love to go to the prom with you.
00:51:18This morning he ate your boy and now he's out there kissing on the McLeod girl.
00:51:27Hey, what are you doing?
00:51:28Shut up, you little zombie slut.
00:51:29I am not a slut.
00:51:30Leave her alone.
00:51:31She's a good girl.
00:51:32Good girls don't hang around with dead boys.
00:51:33Yeah.
00:51:34Crap.
00:51:35Zombie lovers.
00:51:36Yeah.
00:51:37Whore of the undead.
00:51:38Yeah.
00:51:39No.
00:51:40It's not her fault.
00:51:41She was taken in by his wily decaying ways.
00:51:42That's not true, Buck.
00:51:43You don't even know what you're saying.
00:51:44I'll kill him.
00:51:45I swear I'll kill him.
00:51:46I'll kill him.
00:51:47I swear I'll kill him.
00:51:48Woo!
00:51:49Woo!
00:51:50Woo!
00:51:51Woo!
00:51:52Woo!
00:51:53Woo!
00:51:54Woo!
00:51:55Woo!
00:51:56Woo!
00:51:57Woo!
00:51:58Woo!
00:51:59Woo!
00:52:00Woo!
00:52:01Woo!
00:52:02Woo!
00:52:03Woo!
00:52:04Woo!
00:52:05Woo!
00:52:06Woo!
00:52:07Woo!
00:52:08Woo!
00:52:09Woo!
00:52:10Woo!
00:52:11Daddy!
00:52:12What the hell is going on here?
00:52:13Johnny Dingle's what's going on.
00:52:15That's right.
00:52:16Johnny Dingle is dead.
00:52:17Right?
00:52:18Well...
00:52:19Yes, sir.
00:52:20Well, he ate my son, and he's taken your daughter to the prom.
00:52:25So I'd say that's pretty damned active for a dead guy.
00:52:28I demand a zombie burning.
00:52:30Yeah.
00:52:31I want vengeance for my son.
00:52:32Yeah, you're damn right with me.
00:52:34Missy?
00:52:35Johnny?
00:52:36Let's get a car.
00:52:37Come on.
00:52:38Thank you.
00:52:39Something's gone.
00:52:40Oh, my God.
00:52:41Got until sundown, Sheriff, to banish that abomination.
00:52:44There he is.
00:52:45After that, he's ours.
00:52:49Why, hello, Sheriff.
00:52:50Well, to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?
00:52:53I was hoping to have a word with you about Johnny.
00:52:56I think maybe it's time for the dingles and the clouds to have a little chat.
00:53:05Well, this just looks wonderful, ma'am.
00:53:09Let's all dig in.
00:53:13Johnny, honey, I wonder, could you get us some butter for the croissants?
00:53:18Sure, Mom.
00:53:19Thank you, dear.
00:53:33Mom?
00:53:35Excuse me.
00:53:42What the hell is this?
00:53:43A body.
00:53:44I know it's a body.
00:53:46Who put it here?
00:53:47I did.
00:53:48You did?
00:53:49But you might like a snack.
00:53:50A snack?
00:53:51What are we, the Manson family now?
00:53:53Where did you get this body?
00:53:56Found it.
00:53:57You found it?
00:53:58I was at the mortuary.
00:53:59They're practically giving them away.
00:54:01Mom, they don't give bodies away at the mortuary.
00:54:07I sure like beans.
00:54:15Everything okay, then?
00:54:16Right as rain.
00:54:17Mm-hmm.
00:54:18Then let's get right to it, Johnny.
00:54:21I know you killed Chuck Bronski.
00:54:23He didn't kill him, Daddy.
00:54:24He just ate him.
00:54:26That's enough, young lady.
00:54:27I'll have no more smart talk out of you, you understand?
00:54:30Well, Daddy, what about those guys at the Donner Pass who ate their friends?
00:54:34Nobody got mad at them, did they?
00:54:36Would you excuse me for a moment, Sheriff?
00:54:38Of course.
00:54:39You know what big Chuck Bronski and the townspeople would like to do to your son?
00:54:44They'd like to break out some torches and have themselves a zombie barbecue.
00:54:48So what do you want me to do?
00:54:50I'll make you a deal.
00:54:51You leave town right now, quietly.
00:54:54Never show your face around here again.
00:54:56And I will keep the townspeople off you until you get away.
00:55:01This sounds like a good deal.
00:55:03Okay.
00:55:04But only if I can escort Missy to the prom first.
00:55:07You are not taking my daughter to the prom, you stupid, dead son of a bitch.
00:55:11I am going with him, Daddy.
00:55:13You are not going.
00:55:14And that is fine.
00:55:15You are being so unfair.
00:55:16What do you have against Johnny besides the fact that he's dead?
00:55:19You need another reason?
00:55:20What are you so afraid of?
00:55:22Well, that's your leader, for one thing.
00:55:23Oh, that's crazy.
00:55:24I would never eat Missy.
00:55:25He didn't eat us.
00:55:26He didn't eat the dog.
00:55:28See?
00:55:29Look, little tough guy, you get out of town now or I will personally kill you again.
00:55:37You don't frighten me.
00:55:38Oh, no?
00:55:39And you can't stop me.
00:55:40Really?
00:55:41And what can I get for Madame?
00:55:48Doc, please.
00:55:50Oh, Trevier.
00:55:51And for Le Monsieur, I will have the T-Bone steak.
00:55:56An excellent choice.
00:55:58And for Le Petit Monsieur, may I suggest the delicious buffet?
00:56:03Get your food, honey.
00:56:07You just don't know when to stop, do you, you miserable little shit?
00:56:11This is the buffet?
00:56:12You tell me.
00:56:13Is there anyone in my family you don't plan to eat today?
00:56:16I didn't do this.
00:56:17I'm not going to eat you.
00:56:19Because you're a coward.
00:56:20You shut up.
00:56:21Coward, coward.
00:56:22Shut up.
00:56:23Ho, ho.
00:56:24You're pretty tough when it comes to eating high schoolers.
00:56:27When it comes to chowing down on a real man, you're quite the little wussy, ain't you?
00:56:32Listen, pal.
00:56:33You say one more thing.
00:56:34Wussy, wussy.
00:56:36That's it.
00:56:39Donny, don't do that.
00:56:40Oh.
00:56:41Not so easy, is it?
00:56:43There's a lot of living in that foot.
00:56:47There, smartass.
00:56:48Foot's easy.
00:56:49There's nothing on a foot.
00:56:51Now, cast a different story.
00:56:53All muscle.
00:56:54We'll just see about that.
00:56:56Oh, you can kiss that calf muscle goodbye, fat man.
00:57:10I'm stuffed.
00:57:12You call that eating?
00:57:14Ha!
00:57:15I heard the guppies could have picked me clean a half the time.
00:57:18Come on.
00:57:19It looks yummy.
00:57:20Yummy.
00:57:21All right.
00:57:23Johnny!
00:57:24Missy!
00:57:25Daddy was right.
00:57:26You were gonna eat me, weren't you?
00:57:27Don't be ridiculous.
00:57:28I would never eat you.
00:57:29And why not?
00:57:30What, I'm not good enough for you?
00:57:32Johnny.
00:57:33I think you should try.
00:57:34Come on.
00:57:35Take a little bite.
00:57:36Don't you understand?
00:57:37I love you.
00:57:38Sorry.
00:57:39I love you.
00:57:40Just try.
00:57:41I love you.
00:57:43Oh, my God.
00:57:45Et pourquoi pas ? Je ne suis pas pas bon pour vous ?
00:57:49Johnny...
00:57:53Je pense que vous devriez essayer.
00:57:55C'est bon.
00:57:57Pensez un peu.
00:58:03Tu comprends ?
00:58:05Je veux vous.
00:58:07Et je veux vous, Johnny.
00:58:09C'est pourquoi je veux que vous mangez me.
00:58:15Je veux que vous mangez moi ?
00:58:17Je veux que vous mangez moi ?
00:58:19Je veux que vous mangez moi.
00:58:21Johnny ?
00:58:23Mom ?
00:58:25Est-ce que vous allez bien ?
00:58:30Oui.
00:58:31Vous ne regardez pas très bien.
00:58:33Où est Missy ?
00:58:45Je veux voir.
00:58:47Je n'ai pas de prom.
00:58:49Au contraire.
00:58:51J'ai pas de prom.
00:58:53Je suis vraiment de prom.
00:58:55Moi, vous pouvez...
00:58:57Je ne sais pas.
00:58:59Je ne sais pas.
00:59:01I am not going to the prom with Buck.
00:59:04Daddy, the only person I want to go to the prom with is Johnny.
00:59:08Dammit, Missy.
00:59:09Now, honey, I know that you care about this boy,
00:59:13but in a couple of months, you're going to go off to college
00:59:16and meet a nice young man who's still alive.
00:59:19Wouldn't that be better?
00:59:20I don't want a living boy. I want Johnny.
00:59:24Get dressed.
00:59:25You are going to the prom with Buck.
00:59:27I am not going to the prom with...
00:59:29And that's final!
00:59:31Johnny, are you okay? I'm really sorry about my dad.
00:59:49It's okay. Look, if you still want to go with me,
00:59:51put on your gown and I'll carry you down the trellis.
00:59:54Okay.
00:59:59Oh!
01:00:01Johnny? Johnny?
01:00:05Oh, Johnny!
01:00:06My, uh...
01:00:08My muscles are starting to decay.
01:00:10Oh!
01:00:12I can't...
01:00:14Here, grab my hand.
01:00:19Oh!
01:00:19Are you kind of dying now?
01:00:32Kind of.
01:00:36Maybe this will help.
01:00:37I want you.
01:00:51See me.
01:00:52She is very dead.
01:00:53Go, Missy, me!
01:00:56E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-Eat-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E!
01:01:00Oh!
01:01:02Oh, my God.
01:01:03C'est bon, Johnny.
01:01:06Oh, mon Dieu, je suis désolée.
01:01:07C'est bon. Je ne peux pas prendre vous de la prom.
01:01:12Non, Johnny, ne pas être pas.
01:01:13Je vais. Je vais. Je vais, Missy.
01:01:16Johnny, non !
01:01:19Buck a appel. Il va en un moment.
01:01:24Il va se dresser et il va dans l'extérieur.
01:01:33Oh, I can't watch.
01:01:36The chicken feels no pain.
01:01:48Now this won't hurt a bit.
01:01:51I mean...
01:01:52Okay.
01:02:03Yes, it works.
01:02:13It works.
01:02:15Oh, I'm so proud of you.
01:02:17Oh, Shelley, I'm about to save a young man's life a moment every physician dreams of.
01:02:22Hope you won't think harshly of me, darling, but I'm having a thought.
01:02:25Quick, the solution.
01:02:26Oh, yes.
01:02:26Suppose we were to obtain a sizable quantity of the zombie flesh.
01:02:30A few arms, a few legs.
01:02:33He's almost dead already.
01:02:35I don't follow you.
01:02:35Then if we took the flesh
01:02:37and mixed up a really big batch of your wonderful serum,
01:02:43the fountain of youth,
01:02:45cosmetic surgery without the surgery.
01:02:48Shelley, nothing must prevent me from honoring a promise I made to a young man in terrible, terrible trouble.
01:02:55I think we could make a shitload of money.
01:03:00What the hell are you doing?
01:03:02No, no, what the hell are you doing?
01:03:03I'm leaving.
01:03:05I can't take Missy to the prom.
01:03:06I just tried to eat her.
01:03:07Well, then get ready to say,
01:03:08Eddie, you're a genius.
01:03:10Why?
01:03:10Why?
01:03:10Because I solved your problem.
01:03:12I know how you can go to the prom with Missy without having to worry about eating her.
01:03:14You do?
01:03:15Mm-hmm.
01:03:15My plan is so perfect, so simple.
01:03:17What is it?
01:03:18You ready?
01:03:19Yes.
01:03:20Eat Buck.
01:03:21Are you crazy?
01:03:22Hear me out, all right?
01:03:23Let's look at this logically.
01:03:24Your biggest fear is that if you go to the prom with Missy,
01:03:26you might end up eating her.
01:03:29Not if you're already full.
01:03:31Eddie, come on.
01:03:32If you eat Buck,
01:03:33Missy's gonna need a date to the prom,
01:03:35you'll be full,
01:03:36and you'll live longer.
01:03:38Would you be serious?
01:03:39Oh, I am serious.
01:03:40I'm very, very serious.
01:03:42Johnny, Johnny,
01:03:42you're already going to hell for all eternity,
01:03:44so what do you care?
01:03:46God, I hate that guy.
01:03:55Eat him.
01:03:56Eat him quick.
01:03:57Put on his tux and then honk the horn.
01:04:00Missy will come out.
01:04:01You two will go to the prom together.
01:04:03Missy's parents will think she's going with Buck.
01:04:05It couldn't be more perfect.
01:04:06Let's jump him on three.
01:04:07It's brilliant.
01:04:08One.
01:04:10Two.
01:04:11Oh, no, I can't.
01:04:12I have to go now.
01:04:42I can't trust myself to be around people anymore.
01:04:47Look, I don't care if you're...
01:04:49No, this is it.
01:04:51I won't ever see you again.
01:04:52You know that, right?
01:04:53Yes.
01:04:55You're the worst friend I ever had.
01:04:57You too.
01:04:59Just don't forget me, Eddie.
01:05:01After I'm gone, please.
01:05:03Just don't forget me.
01:05:06I won't.
01:05:06I won't.
01:05:12Johnny, I have wonderful news.
01:05:21Ask me what.
01:05:22Would you come on already?
01:05:23I'm saving your life.
01:05:24Hop in.
01:05:25We're going to my lab.
01:05:27Go get Missy.
01:05:29Okay.
01:05:29I guess you'd rather be here with the dead kid.
01:05:45His name is Johnny.
01:05:47You like him so much, then why didn't you go with him?
01:05:49I did want to go with him.
01:05:51He just didn't want to go with me.
01:05:54Are you telling me that you got dumped by the dead kid?
01:05:57Missy.
01:05:58Missy, wait a minute.
01:05:59What do you want, dickweed?
01:06:00Missy, I need to talk to you about Johnny.
01:06:02Johnny doesn't want to be with me, Eddie.
01:06:04Of course he does.
01:06:04He just was afraid that if he was with you, he might end up beating you.
01:06:08You have two seconds to get out of my face, ass wipe.
01:06:11Then I'll rip your spine out through your mouth.
01:06:16Oh.
01:06:22Wow.
01:06:23Well, how?
01:06:26Where's Johnny?
01:06:26I'm getting saved.
01:06:32What Missy and Eddie didn't know was that across town at that very moment, Dr. Bronson
01:06:38was hitting a level of weirdness I had never dreamed possible.
01:06:42Why are you strapping me down?
01:06:44Standard operating procedure.
01:06:46Will it be painful?
01:06:49Well, define pain.
01:06:52Oh, God.
01:06:53All right.
01:06:53To save you, I'm going to have to borrow, like, a few cells from your body.
01:06:58How many?
01:07:00Oh, just a few.
01:07:01Maybe 40 pounds.
01:07:0240 pounds?
01:07:03Are you crazy?
01:07:04I can't spare 40 pounds of flesh.
01:07:06All right.
01:07:0630.
01:07:07No.
01:07:08Not 30.
01:07:09Not 20.
01:07:09Don't be such a baby.
01:07:11Well, you kick in 40 pounds of flesh.
01:07:13Johnny, I'm not the dead guy.
01:07:15Don't you think you're being a little irrational?
01:07:17Well, would you explain how cutting 40 pounds off me is going to save my life?
01:07:22It's not.
01:07:24It's not?
01:07:25No.
01:07:25Then how does it help me?
01:07:27It doesn't.
01:07:28It doesn't?
01:07:28I may not have found a way to save you, but I have discovered a way to use your remarkable
01:07:34flesh, to create a serum, to rejuvenate old skin, to make people feel younger and look
01:07:41younger, cosmetic surgery without the surgery.
01:07:45That's how I'm going to market it.
01:07:48You're going to cut me up and make me into soup so you can give people younger looking
01:07:53skin?
01:07:53It sucks for you, huh?
01:07:56Let me go, you son of a bitch.
01:07:57Let me go.
01:07:58Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:07:59This will be a lot easier if you just relax.
01:08:03No.
01:08:04Oh, no.
01:08:05Oh, oh.
01:08:06Here we go now.
01:08:06Now, just, just.
01:08:07Okay, okay.
01:08:08Here we go.
01:08:09No, no.
01:08:09Okay.
01:08:10Oh.
01:08:11Just a minute.
01:08:12Just a minute.
01:08:13Just a minute.
01:08:14Oh.
01:08:20What do you want?
01:08:22We want the zombie.
01:08:25Well, there's no zombie here.
01:08:27We think he went in there.
01:08:29But you're a very confused man.
01:08:31Now, go home.
01:08:32Good night.
01:08:33You got it.
01:08:34You got it.
01:08:38What's going on out there?
01:08:39Oh, there's a mob out there that wants to kill you.
01:08:41But, but don't worry.
01:08:42I need to kill you more.
01:08:44Oh, great.
01:08:45Oh, unfortunately, we don't have time for that aesthetic.
01:08:47What?
01:08:48Yeah, all right.
01:08:49Oh, okay.
01:08:50No, no.
01:08:53Oh, just, just.
01:08:55Don't move.
01:08:57One, two, three.
01:09:02Uh-oh.
01:09:09You stay right there.
01:09:11Oh, God, Johnny, what's going on?
01:09:19Are you okay?
01:09:20Hurry!
01:09:22Hurry!
01:09:22Hurry!
01:09:22Hurry!
01:09:26Where is it?
01:09:28Where is who?
01:09:29The zombie.
01:09:29What zombie?
01:09:30The only damn zombie running through town, you idiot.
01:09:33Can you describe the zombie?
01:09:35Oh, he's here.
01:09:41Oh, God.
01:09:42Oh, he's here.
01:09:42Oh, he's here.
01:09:43Oh, he's here.
01:09:43Oh, come in here.
01:09:44Ah-ha.
01:09:45Where is he?
01:09:47I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
01:09:49Your friend, the zombie.
01:09:50Yeah.
01:09:50Oh, we're just here to get our flu shot.
01:09:52Come here.
01:09:52Come on.
01:09:55Come on.
01:09:56Hey, hey, save a few times for a maid.
01:10:02What?
01:10:03Where?
01:10:03Over here.
01:10:10Johnny, run.
01:10:23Oh.
01:10:23Oh.
01:10:23C'est parti !
01:10:53C'est parti !
01:11:23C'est parti !
01:11:53C'est parti !
01:12:23C'est parti !
01:12:53C'est parti !
01:13:23C'est parti !
01:13:53C'est parti !
01:14:23C'est parti !
01:14:53C'est parti !
01:15:23C'est parti !
01:15:53C'est parti !
01:16:23C'est parti !
01:16:53C'est parti !
01:17:23C'est parti !
01:17:53C'est parti !
01:18:23C'est parti !
01:18:53C'est parti !
01:19:23C'est parti !
01:19:53C'est parti !
01:20:23C'est parti !
01:20:53C'est parti !
01:21:23C'est parti !
01:21:53C'est parti !
01:22:23C'est parti !
01:22:53C'est parti !
01:23:23C'est parti !
01:23:53C'est parti !
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