9 Things To Avoid On The Golf Course

Golf Monthly

Dan Parker is joined by Joe 'The Pro' Ferguson to run through the 9 things you should NEVER DO on a golf course! When you're playing golf, there are certain things you should really try and avoid at all costs to ensure you're not holding up play or annoying the groups playing behind you! Enjoy these irreverent, tongue-in-cheek recreations and some highly questionable acting skills...

Transcript

00:00Right then Joe, we know there's lots of written rules in golf that people adhere to, but there's

00:03lots of unwritten etiquette rules that I think we've seen broken quite a lot of times. You're

00:08right, there's a lot of faux pas, even golfing crimes I would consider committed out on a golf

00:13course sometimes. Yeah, so we put our heads together and came up with nine that we think

00:16are the biggest and the most often committed. Yes, and we've acted them out. We have. I'm

00:21playing the sort of well-educated, good etiquette golfer and you're playing numbnuts. I'm playing

00:26a buffoon. You're absolutely right, but if you're watching BAFTA, call us.

00:33In no particular order Joe, we're starting with talking during someone's backswing or even

00:37talking during someone's setup. Yeah, it's just a little bit inconsiderate. It's funny with golf

00:42because sometimes you get constant noise so you might hear it now. We've got greenkeepers mowing,

00:46we went to live the other day, there was music playing. When that happens, it's not a problem,

00:49but you're playing silence most of the time and all of a sudden if that silence is just interrupted

00:53with a whisper or something, it is brutal. Don't do it, don't do it. Try not to whisper

00:57to your playing partner, definitely don't pick up the phone, numbnuts, and just try and keep quiet

01:02during the swing. Next one we've got, and this is one of my particular boat bears,

01:08leaving a bunker unraked. It's one of the most inconsiderate things you can do on the golf course.

01:13You tell me why. This is just impolite. It's impolite to your playing partners, to people coming

01:17behind you who may end up in it, to the greenkeepers who look so studiously after the bunkers for you,

01:23and it's just a mess. It affects people's games and it's basic decency and common sense.

01:27And bunkers are hard enough for a decent lie without being in someone's footprint. Rake your bunkers please.

01:36Next up Joe, not shouting four as your ball heads toward what might be people, houses, who knows.

01:41Just shout four. Yeah, just shout four. It's not only inconsiderate, it is downright dangerous.

01:46These little golf balls at the speed they're traveling are like bullets. We've seen some really

01:50serious incidents on the PGA Tour of people getting hurt. And some of those players who

01:54don't shout on the PGA Tour bother me. Don't be one of those. If you see your ball heading down

01:58the wrong fairway or heading to anyone on the golf course, give them a nice loud shout four and warn them.

02:03And even if you don't, if it's off target, give it a big shout. You're covered then. Just in case.

02:07Always shout four. Right, for the next one we're here on the putting green. I think just about

02:14everyone who's ever played should know, but I've played with some who don't, you should never walk

02:20over someone's line when they're putting. Yeah, because if you've got big feet like you or particularly

02:24big spikes on and you walk on someone's line, it could affect their putt, couldn't it? Correct.

02:28It's rude, again, inconsiderate. So when you're doing it, just watch out for people's lines,

02:32maybe even ask, am I okay to stand there? It's okay to ask these sort of things and don't ruin

02:37someone's putt. You could stop it from going in the hole. Furthermore, through lines. Did you ever

02:40think about through lines? What's a through line? Through line is a lot of stuff that's spoken

02:44about on tour. If you're putting from there and you're coming this way and I go and collect my

02:47ball out the hole this way, if someone misses the putt from there and then has to putt through the

02:51spikes, it's always better to think about someone's through line as well. Just give that some thought.

02:55Hey, that's why we pay you the big bucks.

02:57Next up, Joe, assuming a putt is given in match play, I have fallen foul of this.

03:04Yeah, it's tricky ground though, isn't it? You know when you've got it into gimme range and you know

03:08it's probably going to be conceded, but you have to wait to hear that. If you don't and you just pick

03:13your ball up assuming it's been conceded, if you're playing against someone particularly vindictive,

03:19they can claim the hole. Loss of hole, you pick the ball up, you're out the hole and you're done.

03:24That's it, and my circle of friendship is very, very small. So I've heard.

03:30The next golfing crime I want to talk about is leaving your bag on the wrong side of the green

03:36and general time wasting on the green. General faffing. Faffing would be fair. Bumbling. Faffage.

03:41Bumbling, as you might be watching right now, my bumbling. It's just not good for pace of play,

03:46it's not good for your game, it's not good for anyone's game around you. What can you do to sort

03:49that out? Well, if you've got people behind you, that's very annoying. Just think, right, as you

03:53get to the green, where's the next tee? Let me leave my bag in a position between the flag and

03:57the tee. So when I'm done, I pick my ball out, I wander over to my bag, which is en route to the

04:02tee, do your scorecard over there, the people behind you can play and they're not falling asleep

04:06set on their bags. It's considerate to everyone else and it'll actually be beneficial for your game

04:10because you'll take less steps and you'll be less tired. Plan it well, play quickly and play well.

04:18Next up, Joe, less of a crime than some of them, but something I think you should avoid doing is

04:21early walking a putt that you think is going in, you're giving it the big I am and then it doesn't

04:25go in. It's a bad look, isn't it? Actually, we played golf recently with a friend of yours,

04:28shout out, Reece, and I was early walking a couple and they went in and he still said that was a bad

04:33look. He's right though, I think he's right. He is right, but it's a particularly bad look when they

04:36miss as well. Yeah. Another thing that you don't want to do, if you're the guy on the other side of

04:40the hole, early celebrating someone else's putt and calling it before it goes in, that can backfire a lot and

04:46isn't it good looking? If someone says to me like, oh great putt or oh that's in, oh that's pure and

04:50it doesn't go in or really early and it doesn't go in, I'm like do not stop talking to my golf ball.

04:55Do you think it's affected your ball? Absolutely. Of course it has, it has to. Just don't talk to my

04:59golf ball, don't talk to your playing partner's golf balls and don't early walk that putt. Just wait for it to go in.

05:08Recent rule changes have affected this next one I'm going to mention. So you used to have five minutes to

05:12find your ball, now you've only got three. So it's become more imperative than ever not to assume

05:16you're just going to find your golf ball once you've hit it into the rubbish. Yeah I see people

05:20playing on somewhere they know really well where they play every week and they're like that's fine

05:23over there. I know that. I know that bit, I've been there all the time and it might take a different

05:27bounce, it might hit something, you might not find it. If you don't then find it, you've got to trawl your

05:31way back to the tee, you're taking penalty shots, you're taking up more time. So just always hit a provisional if

05:37you lose sight of the ball or even if you have a hint of doubt that you might not find it. The 10 seconds it takes to

05:42hit a provisional could save you 10 minutes of traipsing back and holding everyone up. And you

05:46get another swing, another shot, get that bad, get that bad shot out of your head. That's a little

05:50sort of bonus to it. But yeah, always hit a provisional, speed things up and that's, that's, that's, that.

05:59Lastly Joe, this falls into the category of early chirping a putt or talking to someone's golf ball is

06:04letting them know they've got a good score going. Well you're playing well aren't you mate? It's horrible.

06:08Yeah, it's just wrong on so many levels. If I'm playing well and I'm on for a really good score,

06:14trust me, I know. I don't need you to tell me, I know and I'm already worried about it,

06:20so I don't need the additional pressure. Keep it to yourself, admire quietly and let them get on with

06:26it. You can talk about it after the round. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just focus on your own

06:29gosh darn game and we can talk about how well I've played

06:33later. So yeah, no, not, none of that sort of do it all right. Yeah, absolutely not.

06:38That's not bad Joe. It's a nice little list that of things to not do on the golf course.

06:42Take it on board. We want to hear if you've got any that we may have missed out,

06:45which of the ones that we mentioned is the most

06:48biggest crime, would have the biggest sentence in this sort of golf jail, golf, golf court.

06:53Wow, you're taking it there. Yeah, I have taken it there. Let us know any others that we've missed

06:56out. Hope you enjoyed this video, our acting. Well done, Numbnuts. Yes, thank you very much.

07:00Thank you very much. See you next time.

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