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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh my god, Henley.
00:00:06Oh god.
00:00:08Oh my god.
00:00:10You're covered in coffee.
00:00:13Yeah, of course.
00:00:14I came as soon as I got Mom's message.
00:00:16What happened?
00:00:17I skipped breakfast and fainted on the track.
00:00:20It's no big deal.
00:00:21You had me so worried.
00:00:23It'd take more than an empty stomach to kill me off.
00:00:26You're right.
00:00:28You know what, let me go grab you some food.
00:00:30Okay?
00:00:32What can be happening?
00:00:34I'm afraid it sucks the situation.
00:00:36Mom?
00:00:37I'm sorry.
00:00:38The doctor has some bad news.
00:00:40What?
00:00:41I'm sorry.
00:00:42Your sister has leukemia.
00:00:44Our insurance has expired.
00:00:47There's no way we can pay for her treatment.
00:00:49Don't worry, I'll figure something out.
00:00:51You just go and look after Henley for a moment, okay?
00:00:54Okay.
00:00:55Okay.
00:00:58Oh my god.
00:01:02What am I going to do?
00:01:04I'm only on minimum wage.
00:01:06There are other ways to pay.
00:01:09Tell me, are you single?
00:01:11What?
00:01:12What's that got to do with anything?
00:01:14It might just save your sister's life.
00:01:18A deluxe mail order bride service?
00:01:21Hello?
00:01:22Dig out your best dress, Harry Douglas.
00:01:27We found you a bidder.
00:01:31Oh my god!
00:01:37Hello.
00:01:38Dig out your best dress, Harry Douglas.
00:01:42We found you a bidder.
00:02:14Your Royal Highness, Princess Dima has arrived.
00:02:24Excellent. We can finally confirm our engagement.
00:02:27The thing is, we're not exactly sure where in the castle she is.
00:02:30She was last seen speaking to your cousin.
00:02:33Marcus is here.
00:02:34We'll find him before he starts any trouble.
00:02:36No need. I know exactly where he'll be.
00:02:44Dima!
00:02:50Edward!
00:02:53I'm sorry, my love. I don't know what came of him.
00:02:56I do.
00:02:57She wanted a taste of the true heir to the throne.
00:03:02Your majesty, please.
00:03:05No.
00:03:05If either of you step foot in this palace again,
00:03:19I will have you both executed for treason.
00:03:24Now get out.
00:03:27I guess there won't be a royal wedding after all.
00:03:30It took years to arrange your marriage to Princess Dima.
00:03:45And now you're throwing our new alliance with Lathina away?
00:03:49I wasn't the one fucking someone else on the throne.
00:03:51You watch your language, boy.
00:03:53She was having sex with cousin Marcus on our seat of power.
00:03:57The one he craves for himself.
00:04:00Surely you can't expect me to still marry her.
00:04:03I'll travel to Lathina and clear up your mess.
00:04:07But there will be a royal wedding.
00:04:10You are to find a new bride worthy of this crown.
00:04:14Thank you very much.
00:04:31Arie Douglas, spread your arms, please.
00:04:49Um, we agreed that our first date wouldn't be physical, but...
00:04:55Is that really necessary?
00:04:58Your bag, please.
00:04:59You're not my date, are you?
00:05:01I shouldn't have signed up for this.
00:05:05No, I'm sorry.
00:05:05I think I'm just going to go.
00:05:07Ma'am?
00:05:07You're a highness.
00:05:14Prince Edward.
00:05:22His Royal Highness Prince Edward Piercement of Australia at your service.
00:05:27Arie Douglas of Queens.
00:05:29Not a bad start.
00:05:33This is a joke, right?
00:05:34I mean, why would a prince need a male or a bride?
00:05:37Have I read your profile?
00:05:39You're smart, beautiful, talented.
00:05:44But you're hiding something.
00:05:45You don't want money, you need it.
00:05:48You don't know anything about me.
00:05:50Precisely.
00:05:50So you're going to change that, or should I just assume that you are a gold digger like all the rest?
00:06:00You have a great day, your highness.
00:06:10Back to the airport, sir?
00:06:11No.
00:06:11Follow her.
00:06:12Follow her.
00:06:16How are you feeling today?
00:06:24Why do people keep treating me like I'm dying?
00:06:27We're just worried about you.
00:06:28What's wrong?
00:06:33I think I'm hallucinating.
00:06:36What?
00:06:37Isn't that Prince Edward?
00:06:39Oh, what the hell are you doing here?
00:06:41Arie, you're speaking to literal royalty.
00:06:44No, it's all right.
00:06:45We bumped into each other as I toured the hospital, and I was a little rude.
00:06:49I apologise, Miss Douglas.
00:06:54Could I have a word outside?
00:07:04You're doing this for your sister?
00:07:05Well done.
00:07:06Gold star for the prince.
00:07:08If you marry me, I will pay for her whole treatment.
00:07:12Anything she needs.
00:07:15Wait, you're serious?
00:07:17Yes.
00:07:19But, if you'll permit me, there is one last thing I must test.
00:07:24What now?
00:07:42I love you, sis.
00:08:04Australian tradition dictates that you mustn't see each other again until your wedding day.
00:08:08What?
00:08:08So you just kissed me and left?
00:08:09I'm to escort you to Australia as soon as you're done here, but I must gas you to keep
00:08:13the engagement a secret.
00:08:14Why?
00:08:15Every move a royal mech is in the spotlight, and it's just one of the many things you're
00:08:19going to have to get used to, and fast.
00:08:22Your new life starts now.
00:08:25Mum, this is Prince Edward's younger brother, Prince Xavier.
00:08:41Oh, hi.
00:08:41Um, greetings, your royal highness.
00:08:45My god.
00:09:03Did nobody even teach you how to curtsy?
00:09:05God, I'm sorry.
00:09:14Although that really was the worst curtsy I think I've ever seen.
00:09:20So you're the famous Harry Douglas I've heard so much about.
00:09:23I'm Edward's younger, funnier, more handsome, more charismatic little brother.
00:09:30Sorry you ended up with the dad, but, um, hey, we still have time to fall in love, run
00:09:36away before the wedding.
00:09:39Come with me.
00:09:39Uh, this is our little fixer-upper.
00:09:48Your room's round about the 312th on the left.
00:09:53I imagine you want to settle in and rest, but...
00:09:56Already late for our first appointment.
00:10:31From rags to riches, let's make you a princess.
00:10:43Yes, queen! Or should I say, yes, future queen.
00:11:04I've never seen myself like this.
00:11:07I'll strap those heels.
00:11:13When did Adler find a savage?
00:11:20Isn't it obvious? She's a whore.
00:11:23He must have fallen in love with her, almost between her legs.
00:11:28She'll be gone as soon as he gets bored of fucking a present.
00:11:39Go away!
00:11:43So this is true.
00:11:50Who are you?
00:11:52Your predecessor.
00:11:55You have a very pretty face.
00:12:01If you want to keep it that way, leave while you still can.
00:12:06Is that a threat?
00:12:08No, no, it's a warning.
00:12:10Edward is not the man he makes out to be.
00:12:13And trust me, my darling, you weren't the first one to fall for his trap.
00:12:28Harry?
00:12:29Harry?
00:12:30Harry, you're not leaving, are you?
00:12:35Harry?
00:12:37Harry?
00:12:38Harry, I've been transferred to the best cancer hospital in Manhattan.
00:12:50My treatment's being paid for by some anonymous donor.
00:12:51That's great, Hen.
00:12:52I feel like I can finally breathe again.
00:12:53Oh, gotta go.
00:12:54Dog's here.
00:12:55Love you.
00:12:56Love you.
00:12:57Harry?
00:12:58Harry?
00:12:59It's your big day.
00:13:00Okay.
00:13:01Harry?
00:13:02Harry?
00:13:03I've been transferred to the best cancer hospital in Manhattan.
00:13:04My treatment's being paid for by some anonymous donor.
00:13:06That's great, Hen.
00:13:07I feel like I can finally breathe again.
00:13:10Oh, gotta go.
00:13:12Dog's here.
00:13:13Love you.
00:13:14Harry?
00:13:15Harry?
00:13:16Harry?
00:13:17It's your big day.
00:13:18Okay.
00:13:19Let's get this over with.
00:13:44You look radiant.
00:13:58I'm sorry, it's not the royal wedding you might have expected.
00:14:03My father is-
00:14:04I'm just doing this for Henley.
00:14:06Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
00:14:12Prince Edward, your bowels.
00:14:15Harry, though it was circumstance that brought us together, it is love that will bind us.
00:14:24With this ring, I commit to you my heart, my spirit, and my soul.
00:14:31Let us share our lives until they are well spent, and spend them well, together.
00:14:39Do you, Edward, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
00:14:44I do.
00:14:45And do you, Ariana, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
00:14:55I do.
00:14:56And I now pronounce you husband and wife.
00:15:01You may kiss the bride.
00:15:05Arrest that man!
00:15:08Arrest that man!
00:15:14What's the meaning of this?
00:15:15You know exactly what you did, you bastard!
00:15:18Explain yourself!
00:15:20Last night, Prince Edward here decided to pay a little visit to my beloved fiancé.
00:15:27What fiancé?
00:15:29Princess Dima.
00:15:30I only went there to retrieve the royal wedding ring.
00:15:40And this is what he did to me when I refused to give it to him.
00:15:42That is a lie!
00:15:43Take him away!
00:15:46You don't believe them, do you, Ari?
00:15:50Ari?
00:15:51Ari?
00:15:53Ari!
00:15:55Ari!
00:16:03Comfortable cousin?
00:16:05You scoundrel!
00:16:08It was you that put those brutus on Dima.
00:16:11What do you care?
00:16:13Besides, you've got your American Barbie princess now anyway.
00:16:17What happened to you?
00:16:19We used to be like brothers.
00:16:21If we were brothers, then there wouldn't be a problem.
00:16:23I'd already have the crown.
00:16:26That's what this is about.
00:16:29Discredited me in order to steal my birthright.
00:16:31It's just as much my birthright as it is yours.
00:16:34My father should have fought for what was rightfully his.
00:16:36He was a younger twin!
00:16:37By what?
00:16:38Twelve minutes, was it?
00:16:40Your father was only given the airship because he was the favourite son.
00:16:44And you are willing to destroy our family over such nonsense?
00:16:51I am.
00:16:53But it doesn't have to go that way, cousin.
00:16:56Simply relinquish your claim to the throne to me and I'll drop the charges.
00:17:01They won't stand anyway.
00:17:02Oh, they will.
00:17:04I have every High Court judge in my back pocket.
00:17:07If you even try and take this to trial, I will ruin you.
00:17:12I will ruin you.
00:17:13I will ruin you.
00:17:14I will ruin you.
00:17:15I will ruin you.
00:17:19I will ruin you.
00:17:20I will ruin you.
00:17:21I will ruin you.
00:17:22I will ruin you.
00:17:23I've reached the chicken pen, but it's all out of hens.
00:17:48Leave a message and I'll cluck you back.
00:17:53I'll cluck you back.
00:18:23That's going to take some getting used to.
00:18:35It's an honor to finally meet you, Your Majesty.
00:18:58I wish I could say the same.
00:19:02It's good that you're here, though.
00:19:04Sign this.
00:19:06An annulment agreement?
00:19:08Well, I presume your ridiculous marriage has not been consummated yet due to my son's situation.
00:19:14Sign the contract and let's end this foolishness.
00:19:18I can't.
00:19:19You can and you will.
00:19:24No.
00:19:25Edward promised me that he'd pay for my sister's cancer tuition and I can't let her down.
00:19:28Well, if it's just the money you're here for, have it.
00:19:40This feels wrong.
00:19:41Either you sign or we force you to.
00:19:46Trust me, we still keep some nasty traditions in this palace.
00:19:50You asked me to find a bride worthy of the crown, so I did.
00:20:04The girls are commoner.
00:20:05No, father.
00:20:06She is my wife.
00:20:07I will not let you change that.
00:20:09I am so sorry for today.
00:20:10I don't want your apologies.
00:20:12I want the truth.
00:20:13I'm sorry.
00:20:14You're sorry.
00:20:15I didn't want your apologies.
00:20:16I want the truth.
00:20:17I am sorry for today.
00:20:19You asked me to find a bride worthy of the crown.
00:20:22You asked me to find a bride worthy of the crown.
00:20:24So I did.
00:20:25The girls are commoner.
00:20:26No, father.
00:20:29She is my wife.
00:20:30I will not let you change that.
00:20:31I am so sorry for today.
00:20:33I don't want your apologies.
00:20:34I want the truth.
00:20:37Ruth, did you hurt Princess Dima?
00:20:41No.
00:20:45My cousin Marcus is trying to smear my reputation.
00:20:48Why should I believe you?
00:20:51Why do you think you're here, Ari?
00:20:54I don't know.
00:20:56I was supposed to marry Princess Dima for political reasons.
00:21:01When she cheated on me, I made a vow to only marry the person that I wanted.
00:21:06And then I found you.
00:21:08We barely know each other.
00:21:10Then give me a chance.
00:21:13I saw how you would go to any length to save your sister.
00:21:16And it resonated with me because...
00:21:20I lost my mother to cancer.
00:21:25Oh, Edward.
00:21:27Ari, I fell in love with your humanity.
00:21:31And now I'm asking that you trust in mine.
00:21:35I'm innocent.
00:21:37Edward, you're shaking.
00:21:41I never kissed the bride.
00:21:45It's still our wedding day for another five minutes.
00:21:47I never kissed the bride.
00:21:57It's still our wedding day for another five minutes.
00:22:01Wow.
00:22:03This hospital is amazing.
00:22:07I can't believe you did all of this for me and my family, Edward.
00:22:09I can't wait to tell them that we're married.
00:22:11Mom?
00:22:12Mom?
00:22:13Mom?
00:22:14I can't wait to tell them that we're married.
00:22:15Mom?
00:22:16Mom?
00:22:17Mom?
00:22:18Mom?
00:22:19Mom?
00:22:20What's wrong?
00:22:21I can't wait to tell them that we're married.
00:22:22Mom?
00:22:23Mom?
00:22:24Mom?
00:22:25Mom?
00:22:26Mom?
00:22:27I'm in a coma.
00:22:29You're a doctor.
00:22:32You're a doctor.
00:22:34You're a doctor.
00:22:36It's a doctor.
00:22:37You're a doctor.
00:22:38You're a doctor.
00:22:39What do you think?
00:22:40I'm in a coma.
00:22:41We've been in a coma.
00:22:42What's wrong?
00:22:48At least in a coma.
00:23:01So you ran off to get hitched while your sister fights for her life?
00:23:05It wasn't like that.
00:23:07That big shiny ring suggests otherwise.
00:23:10Edward is paying for Henley's treatment.
00:23:13He's the reason that she's in this hospital.
00:23:15Why?
00:23:16What does he get out of it?
00:23:19Me.
00:23:21You sold yourself to him?
00:23:24Is that what you're telling me?
00:23:26Friendly, Mom.
00:23:28Friendly.
00:23:35This is Dr. Mortimer.
00:23:37My private physician.
00:23:39I recommend we perform a stem cell transplant right away.
00:23:43It's risky, but it could save Henley's life.
00:23:46Ari, your medical record shows you could be an ideal donor.
00:23:50Just show me where to sign, Doc.
00:23:52I don't even know this person.
00:23:54She can be a quack.
00:23:55If Edward chose Simmons, who do I?
00:23:57We will get both of you prepped for surgery immediately.
00:24:02Mom.
00:24:03Oh, sweetheart. Here, have some water.
00:24:06He hasn't left your side.
00:24:07I'm so sorry about before.
00:24:08I was just struggling so much without you here.
00:24:09And they...
00:24:10And they...
00:24:11She's still sleeping.
00:24:12But the surgery was a success.
00:24:14I can't believe what you did for your sister.
00:24:17Selling yourself to this man.
00:24:18What they're saying.
00:24:19What they're saying.
00:24:20I can't believe what you did for your sister.
00:24:21Selling yourself to this man.
00:24:23What they're saying about him, in the papers.
00:24:25It's all lies, Mom.
00:24:26Mom.
00:24:27Someone's trying to get him.
00:24:28Oh, mom.
00:24:29He's still sleeping.
00:24:30And I'm not so expecting you guys to be married.
00:24:31You're not so sorry about your son.
00:24:34You're not so sorry about me, I'm not so sorry about you.
00:24:37I can't believe-
00:24:38What the surgery was a success.
00:24:39I can't believe what you did for your sister.
00:24:42Selling yourself to this man.
00:24:44What they're saying about him in the papers.
00:24:49It's all lies, Mom. Mom, someone's trying to get him.
00:24:55Doctor, Ari's awake.
00:25:02Ever!
00:25:07Ever!
00:25:12Ever!
00:25:14Ever!
00:25:15Ever!
00:25:18Ever!
00:25:32Ever!
00:25:41Look at you, Grandpa!
00:25:45I'm not your pal.
00:25:52That wasn't very nice.
00:25:55Field trip's over.
00:25:57We need to get you and the princess to a safe house.
00:26:00Now!
00:26:01How are you feeling now?
00:26:14Who the hell were they, Edward?
00:26:15They must have been sent by Marcus.
00:26:16He wants the throne that badly that he'd try and kill his own cousin.
00:26:27Try to put it out your mind.
00:26:28I can't.
00:26:29I can't.
00:26:30I can't stop thinking about how close they came to losing you.
00:26:31I nearly lost you.
00:26:32I nearly lost you.
00:26:33You would have sacrificed yourself to save me.
00:26:34Why?
00:26:35You know why?
00:26:36Say it, Ari.
00:26:37Say it.
00:26:38Because I love you, Edward.
00:26:39And I can't let you go.
00:26:40I can't let you go.
00:26:41I can't let you go.
00:26:42I can't.
00:26:43I can't.
00:26:44I can't.
00:26:45I can't stop thinking about how close they came to losing you.
00:26:46I nearly lost you.
00:26:47You would have sacrificed yourself to save me.
00:26:48You would have sacrificed yourself to save me.
00:26:49Why?
00:26:50You know why?
00:26:51Say it, Ari.
00:26:52Say it.
00:26:53Because I love you, Edward.
00:26:54And I can't let you go.
00:27:09To me, you know, why I just died for you?
00:27:14You can't.
00:27:23You couldn't do anything anymore that came to bisc ширという nen's diligence.
00:27:29Ay, how he cursed me.
00:27:32I can't.
00:27:35I'm sorry.
00:28:04Did I wake you?
00:28:07Oh wow.
00:28:08Again?
00:28:09Yeah, well, he was going to take us to breakfast,
00:28:11but we're not allowed to be.
00:28:19Percy.
00:28:21So much for this being a safe room.
00:28:23Sorry, Your Highnesses,
00:28:24but we need to get you back to Australia right away.
00:28:26But I wanted to see Henley first.
00:28:28Yes, and I wanted to get some answers from the assassin.
00:28:31Well, that could be difficult.
00:28:32He's just been murdered in a cell.
00:28:34Someone didn't want him to talk.
00:28:36Marcus.
00:28:49I know it's not the perfect honeymoon,
00:28:51but we used to spend every Christmas at Oakwell
00:28:53when I was a boy.
00:28:55It was my mother's favorite place.
00:28:58No wonder.
00:29:00It's beautiful.
00:29:09Can I help you, sir?
00:29:10I'm here to escort Prince Edward and Princess Arya
00:29:12on their honeymoon.
00:29:13Prince Edward is welcome.
00:29:15The lady is not.
00:29:16Excuse me?
00:29:17The king's orders, Your Highness.
00:29:20He doesn't recognize her as a member of the royal family.
00:29:27How dare you question my wife to just missy?
00:29:29I'll have you discharged.
00:29:31I'll deal with this.
00:29:37Let us through, lad.
00:29:38That's an order.
00:29:39Your order doesn't outtrack the king's.
00:29:41Actually, in matters of security, it does.
00:29:43There's currently a threat on the lives of both the prince and the princess.
00:29:46Do you want their deaths on your conscience?
00:29:49Easy.
00:29:56I'm sorry, my love.
00:29:59This is outrageous.
00:30:00Oh, believe me, this is not my first traffic fight.
00:30:03Let me show you how we resolve things the American way.
00:30:19Well, you've been about as useful as a screen door and a submarine, kid.
00:30:44You know, I like this better than the palace.
00:30:46It feels more...
00:30:48I don't know.
00:30:50Like home.
00:30:51Yeah, if your home has 23 bathrooms, 30,000 acres, and a dozen horses, then sure.
00:30:56Cool.
00:30:58Oh!
00:30:59You'll love this.
00:31:02Every Christmas, we used to put a plane for the adults.
00:31:06Aw, were you Peter Pan?
00:31:08One year.
00:31:09And here is my costume from the Nutcracker.
00:31:13Oh!
00:31:15Oh!
00:31:19Prince Charming.
00:31:22At your service, milady.
00:31:24Oh, my hero!
00:31:31It suits you.
00:31:34Maybe our kids will wear these one day.
00:31:36Good practice for the real thing.
00:31:41Ah!
00:31:43Another family tradition.
00:31:45My first kill, in fact.
00:31:49Wait.
00:31:50You killed this stag?
00:31:54Edward, that's horrible.
00:31:56Edward, that's horrible.
00:31:58Well, no.
00:32:00It's heritage.
00:32:02There are mounts here, dating back to the 18th century.
00:32:06Oh, really?
00:32:07And did they use a guillotine to chop off their heads?
00:32:11You're being ridiculous.
00:32:13Me?
00:32:14I find it ridiculous, no barbaric, that you could butcher one of these creatures for sport.
00:32:19No, we don't butcher them.
00:32:21We have the utmost respect for our game.
00:32:23Your game.
00:32:25Your game.
00:32:26If you had respect for your game, you wouldn't call it your game.
00:32:30God, how could I have been so wrong about you?
00:32:33What does that mean?
00:32:35You're just like one of them.
00:32:36A little snob with a big gun.
00:32:39You're judging me because of my class.
00:32:42Yes.
00:32:44Killing things to impress people, it's horrible.
00:32:47Beg your pardon?
00:32:48Not now, Percy.
00:32:49Apologies, your highnesses, but I think you're going to want to see this.
00:32:55How are you feeling now, your highness?
00:32:57See for yourself.
00:33:05Edward has to face justice.
00:33:08We can't be ruled by a criminal.
00:33:10The prince is innocent until proven guilty.
00:33:14And he'll have his day in court.
00:33:15There is something else you should know about him.
00:33:19Darling?
00:33:21He called off our wedding so that he could marry an American prostitute named Arie Douglas.
00:33:28How dare they!
00:33:30These people are not fit to wear the crown.
00:33:33We'd make a better king and queen than my cousin Edward and his yank whore.
00:33:37A persuasive argument.
00:33:39Let's hope the public disagrees.
00:33:42You've not only brought this family into disrepute, Edward, but the crown itself.
00:33:51You really believe the accusations?
00:33:53Will they tally with your reckless decision to marry this commoner?
00:33:58I'll give you one last chance to end this farce.
00:34:02Sign the annulment and we'll deny everything to the press.
00:34:05No.
00:34:11Arya is my wife.
00:34:13Now and forever.
00:34:16So be it.
00:34:18Your marriage stands.
00:34:20You honor me, father.
00:34:21Father.
00:34:22I'm not only father to you.
00:34:24I'm father to this nation.
00:34:26And I will not have you jeopardize the crown.
00:34:30Xavier.
00:34:32You shall be my successor.
00:34:34And the new crown prince of Estria.
00:34:37You can't do that.
00:34:42It goes against convention, but these are unconventional times.
00:34:46No, you can't do that because I don't want it.
00:34:50It's not about what you want.
00:34:52We're at war with your cousin.
00:34:54And maybe with Latina soon too.
00:34:56We need a show of strength.
00:34:58Giving in to Marcus's games?
00:35:00That's a show of strength?
00:35:02It wipes the slate clean.
00:35:04Xavier will be the new face of the monarchy.
00:35:08You'll marry a woman of stature.
00:35:11And sire and heir.
00:35:15Are you blind?
00:35:21Or do you just ignore what's right in front of you?
00:35:23What are you talking about now?
00:35:25I won't marry.
00:35:28I won't have an heir.
00:35:30And I won't be king.
00:35:32Because I'm gay.
00:35:36The monarchy is above sexuality, Xavier.
00:35:40It's your crown too tight around the cranium.
00:35:43I'd rather announce all my titles than continue living this lie.
00:35:47What have I done to deserve these boys?
00:35:51You know, that's a good question.
00:35:52You have two incredible brave sons.
00:35:56But you didn't do anything to deserve them.
00:35:59I'm warning you, father.
00:36:00No, honestly.
00:36:01It's okay.
00:36:02I've got this.
00:36:04You think I'm scared of you, Maxwell?
00:36:06I'm not.
00:36:08I'm just so disappointed.
00:36:10You see, I never met my dad.
00:36:11And when we first met, I thought I would finally feel what it's like to have a real father.
00:36:17And now, honestly, I'm...
00:36:20I'm...
00:36:21I wish I'd never found out.
00:36:24You say you're father to the nation.
00:36:27You're not even a good father to your own sons.
00:36:49What's this?
00:36:51Oh, that's black pudding.
00:36:53It's, um, made from blood.
00:36:57You don't have to eat it.
00:36:59No, no, no, it's fine.
00:37:00I'll try it.
00:37:03Actually, I wanted to apologize for yesterday about the stag thing.
00:37:09After our argument with your dad, I kind of...
00:37:11I realized how different our upbringings were.
00:37:14It wasn't fair to judge you for that.
00:37:18I appreciate that.
00:37:20And, um, what you said to him, too.
00:37:27Okay.
00:37:30Morning.
00:37:39The king has arranged for Princess Arie to make her first public appearance.
00:37:42What?
00:37:43He said, and I quote, um...
00:37:46Put that girl on TV.
00:37:47She's got some fire in her belly.
00:37:49He thinks we can beat Marcus by winning over the people.
00:37:53Well, that is great news.
00:37:55He did have one stipulation.
00:37:57You're to return to the palace, ma'am, for lessons in etiquette.
00:37:59And he'll be your personal tutor.
00:38:02And he'll be your personal tutor.
00:38:03Princess Arie.
00:38:04No.
00:38:05No.
00:38:06No.
00:38:15No, no.
00:38:16No.
00:38:17Yes!
00:38:18Forgive me.
00:38:23My behavior has been unbecoming.
00:38:27Yeah, I don't really know what that means, but, um, apologies accepted.
00:38:32Estrians respect their kings, but they love their queens.
00:38:36So, we have to work on your decorum. Thankfully, you'll be learning from the best.
00:38:42That's not a very decorum-y thing to say, Your Majesty.
00:38:45The word you're looking for is decorous.
00:38:47And I'm not talking about myself. I'm talking about your mother-in-law.
00:38:57Christmas is a time of joy.
00:39:00Notice her posture.
00:39:02Her poise.
00:39:04As though you have an iron rod.
00:39:08This is your etiquette lesson, not mine.
00:39:12Repeat after.
00:39:13My husband and I would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas.
00:39:20Well, you said all the words in the right order.
00:39:24What was she like?
00:39:27A lot like you.
00:39:29She had a very kind way with people.
00:39:32Her charity work was her life.
00:39:33Boys were devastated to lose her.
00:39:37And you?
00:39:40It's never been the same without her.
00:39:42She's an inspiration?
00:39:43Yes.
00:39:44Our next queen has a lot to live up to.
00:39:45Good evening.
00:39:46Tonight I'm joined by Prince Edward's new bride, Princess Ariana.
00:39:50Welcome, Your Royal Highness.
00:39:51Good evening.
00:39:52Esther was shocked to learn about your recent marriage.
00:39:53Could you tell us more about how you met Prince Edward?
00:39:54We met in my hometown of Queens.
00:39:55Edward found that very, um, serendipitous.
00:39:56Princess Dima alerted that you were going to be the same.
00:39:57We met in my hometown of Queens.
00:39:58We met in my hometown of Queens.
00:39:59Edward found that very, um, serendipitous.
00:40:00Princess Dima alerted that you were working as a prostitute there.
00:40:01No, that is not true.
00:40:02So, you are calling your fellow prince?
00:40:03Yes.
00:40:04You are calling your fellow prince?
00:40:05Yes.
00:40:06Yes.
00:40:07Yes.
00:40:08Yes.
00:40:09Yes.
00:40:10Yes.
00:40:11Yes.
00:40:12Yes.
00:40:13Yes.
00:40:14Yes.
00:40:15Yes.
00:40:16Yes.
00:40:17Yes.
00:40:18Yes.
00:40:19Yes.
00:40:20Yes.
00:40:21Yes.
00:40:22Yes.
00:40:23Yes.
00:40:24Yes.
00:40:25Yes.
00:40:26Yes.
00:40:27Yes.
00:40:28Yes.
00:40:29Yes, sir.
00:40:30Thank you, sir.
00:40:31So, you are calling your fellow princess a liar?
00:40:32She was misinformed.
00:40:33To be clear, did Prince Edward ever pay you for his services?
00:40:36No, not in that way.
00:40:37So, he has paid you?
00:40:38I'd rather not discuss.
00:40:39Ma'am, the public has a right to know who the new princess really is.
00:40:42So, I would ask you again.
00:40:43Did Prince Edward ever pay you for his services?
00:40:46So I would ask you again, did Prince Edward ever pay you for your services?
00:41:07Alright, yes, he paid for me.
00:41:09I was his mail order bride.
00:41:11And maybe that's just as much as scandal, but marrying Prince Edward is the best thing that I have ever done.
00:41:20My sister was fighting cancer and I needed the money to save her.
00:41:24And he gave me that.
00:41:26But he gave me so much more.
00:41:29I'm not talking about the crown or the castles.
00:41:32I'm talking about his love and his kindness and his respect.
00:41:37And yes, I am calling Princess Demer a liar.
00:41:42I don't know why she wants to ruin us.
00:41:44Maybe she's bitter because Edward didn't forgive her after she was caught cheating on him with Prince Marcus.
00:41:50You can ask her about that.
00:41:52But what I do know is Edward is a good man.
00:41:56And yes, this started out as a transaction for sure.
00:41:59I needed the money to save my sister.
00:42:02And he needed to be saved for marrying a woman that he didn't love.
00:42:06But now my sister is getting better.
00:42:08And Edward has a wife who couldn't love him more.
00:42:12It's about time you started fighting back.
00:42:29Nice performance.
00:42:31Really appealing to the old heartstrings.
00:42:33It wasn't a performance.
00:42:34It's always a performance, Princess.
00:42:37Only the people, they don't want love stories.
00:42:40They want dirt.
00:42:42That's why I'll win.
00:42:44Because I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.
00:42:46As we discovered in New York.
00:42:48Are you referring to the assassination attempt?
00:42:52In fact, I'm the only reason you're still breathing.
00:42:55What?
00:42:58It was Athena who wanted you dead.
00:43:00But I convinced King Eythen to hold off.
00:43:05For now.
00:43:07See, he's willing to let you live so long as you...
00:43:10Give my airship to you.
00:43:12Clever boy.
00:43:15Make all the threats you want.
00:43:17I will prove my innocence in court.
00:43:20Oh, even if you are somehow able to convince my judge that Dima's the one lying,
00:43:27you won't convince her father.
00:43:30If you're found not guilty, he'll simply declare war.
00:43:34You just can't win.
00:43:36Your Highness, we're getting record engagements on our socials.
00:43:39People are going crazy for their new princess.
00:43:44Maybe they do want love stories after all.
00:43:47Oh, here's a good one.
00:43:57Starting a petition to rename Princess Harry the Queen of Spades.
00:44:01Because she just buried Princess Dima live on TV.
00:44:04Princess Harry is the best American import since...
00:44:09fried chicken waffles.
00:44:11God, you don't actually eat that, do you?
00:44:14Um, your brother literally made me try a sausage made of blood.
00:44:18Fair.
00:44:27Your wife's a sensation in the nation.
00:44:29Father's etiquette lesson's clearly paid off.
00:44:33Speaking of, listen to this.
00:44:35Princess Harry should give this year's Christmas speech.
00:44:38King Maxwell's are as dry as my husband's turkey dinner.
00:44:41Yes, I saw that one.
00:44:45In fact, it gave me an idea.
00:44:50Mom?
00:44:51We're ready for you.
00:44:52Ready for what?
00:44:58Whenever you're ready, Your Highness.
00:45:00My fellow Estrians.
00:45:04You know, that feels pretty strange to say.
00:45:07I'm sure you're used to spending your Christmases with King Maxwell.
00:45:11But, surprise, you've got me this year.
00:45:14You know, my own Christmases are usually spent with my family.
00:45:18My sister, my mom, and me.
00:45:21And yet, here I am giving a speech to all of you.
00:45:25But it still feels the same.
00:45:28It feels like family.
00:45:30Because you have opened your hearts to me.
00:45:34And made me feel at home here.
00:45:36So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
00:45:40And Merry Christmas from the palace.
00:45:42Yes.
00:45:47You were amazing.
00:45:48We'll upload it to your new channel tonight.
00:45:51I just wish my family was really here.
00:45:58Well, I think you'll like your present then.
00:46:00Merry Christmas, Aubrey.
00:46:01Happy.
00:46:02Happy.
00:46:08You know, I can't believe you're actually here.
00:46:10I can't believe you're here.
00:46:11You're a goddamn princess.
00:46:14Ari, what you did for me, I could never repay you.
00:46:19Well, you getting better is payment enough.
00:46:21Oh, cool.
00:46:23I guess you won't be needing your present then.
00:46:25I'll get to first.
00:46:27I wanted to get you something to say thank you.
00:46:29It's not quite Crown Jewels level, but...
00:46:40Thank you, Anne.
00:46:42Where's your half?
00:46:44I don't need it.
00:46:45You already gave me a part of yourself with the transplant.
00:46:49And now you'll have a part of me too.
00:46:51Oh, Anne.
00:46:52I know you did all of this for me, but are you really happy here?
00:47:03I don't know.
00:47:06I guess my life is just really different now.
00:47:09Edward, have you heard from your lawyers?
00:47:23They've hired a PI to look into Marcus's bribery of state officials.
00:47:27But...
00:47:29He's covered his tracks.
00:47:33I'm not sure we can beat him.
00:47:34Ari, there's a New Year's street party tonight. We have to go.
00:47:38You're not well enough.
00:47:39I've been here a whole week and you haven't let me out once.
00:47:42I want to go see Estria.
00:47:44Yeah, there'll be plenty of time for that when you're better.
00:47:46But I feel fine, I promise, I...
00:47:48No, Henley. We're working on a strategy for Edward's trial.
00:47:51We really don't have time for this.
00:47:52She's been cooped up for months.
00:47:56Must have been tough.
00:47:57Henley?
00:47:59Henley, look, I'm really sorry.
00:48:01We can celebrate here if you like.
00:48:03Henley, please, look, I'm sorry. Can I come in?
00:48:05Damn it, Henley.
00:48:06Hey, have you seen this girl?
00:48:08Oh, my God, Princess Ari, um...
00:48:09Henley? Henley, look, I'm really sorry. We can celebrate here if you like. Henley, please, look, I'm sorry, can I come in?
00:48:24Damn it, Henley.
00:48:31Hey, have you seen this girl?
00:48:33Oh my god, Princess Ari, I'm...
00:48:35Please, please, she's missing and she's my sister, so...
00:48:39Oh yeah, she's just there doing some shots.
00:48:41What?
00:48:46What are you even doing here?
00:48:47Ari, please, enough with the grown-up boys.
00:48:50You're still in recovery and you're underage.
00:48:52I'm not in this country.
00:48:53We're going home.
00:48:54Ari, please, just let me have one night.
00:48:59I never thought I'd get to see another new year.
00:49:01I knew you'd pull the cats off me.
00:49:04Fine, but no more drinking.
00:49:06Love you, sis.
00:49:09Five, four, three, two, one.
00:49:23Happy New Year!
00:49:24Happy New Year!
00:49:25Woo!
00:49:26Woo!
00:49:26Woo!
00:49:26Woo!
00:49:27Woo!
00:49:27Woo!
00:49:28Woo!
00:49:28Woo!
00:49:29Woo!
00:49:30Woo!
00:49:31Woo!
00:49:32Woo!
00:49:33Woo!
00:49:34Woo!
00:49:35Woo!
00:49:36Come on.
00:49:37I'm just having some fun.
00:49:39Don't you get it?
00:49:40I'm a public figure now.
00:49:41I have more important things to worry about than fun.
00:49:43Fine.
00:49:44Go back to your prince and your palace and your fancy new life.
00:49:49I'm sorry that I wanted to spend time with my sister.
00:49:53I guess she's just too important for that now.
00:50:19It's not what it looks like.
00:50:26This creep grabbed me for like half a second before I threw him off.
00:50:32I'm surprised anyone had a chance to take a photo.
00:50:35Edward, speak to me.
00:50:38Even if that is true, this is on every front page the day before my trial begins.
00:50:45Well, Dean Marcus must be behind it.
00:50:48It's another smear campaign.
00:50:50It's working.
00:50:52This will lose us to country's support just when we need it the most.
00:51:16Court is now in session.
00:51:18The prosecution may call its first witness.
00:51:21Thank you, Your Honor.
00:51:25The prosecution calls Captain Harry Percy to the stand.
00:51:37Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
00:51:41I do.
00:51:46Captain Percy, you are Prince Edward's bodyguard.
00:51:50Are you not?
00:51:51Are you not?
00:51:52I am.
00:51:53You go everywhere with him, don't you?
00:51:56I do.
00:51:57Did you go with him to visit Princess Demo on the night of your assault?
00:52:02I did.
00:52:04Captain Percy, did you witness Prince Edward physically attack Princess Demo that night?
00:52:11I did.
00:52:12I just don't understand why Percy would lie.
00:52:13Yeah, I know.
00:52:14It sucks.
00:52:15He was really hot.
00:52:16I'm really not in the mood hen.
00:52:17I'm sorry.
00:52:18Mari, I don't know what you want me to say.
00:52:19I mean, Percy clearly worship you guys.
00:52:20I guess that human trashbag Marcus probably got to him the same way he got to the judge.
00:52:22Huh.
00:52:23What?
00:52:24The bruises.
00:52:25We know Edward didn't give them to Demo.
00:52:26Sure, it was Marcus.
00:52:27Yeah.
00:52:28But we always assumed they were working together, right?
00:52:29Well, we're not in the mood hen.
00:52:30I'm sorry.
00:52:31I'm sorry.
00:52:32I'm sorry.
00:52:33I don't know what you want me to say.
00:52:34I mean, Percy clearly worship you guys.
00:52:35I guess that human trashbag Marcus probably got to him the same way he got to the judge.
00:52:44Huh.
00:52:45What?
00:52:46The bruises.
00:52:47We know Edward didn't give them to Demo.
00:52:48Sure, it was Marcus.
00:52:49Yeah, but we always assumed they were working together, right?
00:52:50But what if Marcus was manipulating Demo and forcing her to blame her injuries on Edward?
00:53:03Oh, my God.
00:53:04Hen, I could kiss you right now.
00:53:07I need to go in to speak to my fellow princess.
00:53:11It's judgment day for Prince Edward and his bodyguard's damning testimony can prove the
00:53:17deciding factor in the judge's verdict.
00:53:19And here she comes, Princess Arie.
00:53:23Just listen to those bulls.
00:53:26She is, of course, caught up in her own adulty scandal.
00:53:30And this could be, as well, a dark day for the whole couple.
00:53:38Dima.
00:53:41What do you want?
00:53:43It's not too late to stop this.
00:53:45Why would I want to do that?
00:53:47Well, I believe it's Prince Marcus who's been hurting you.
00:53:50And forced you to blame it on Edward.
00:53:52We're facing another beating or worse.
00:53:54But it's okay.
00:53:55You don't have to be scared anymore.
00:53:56I can make you safe.
00:53:58Oh, Arie.
00:54:08It's the best joke I've ever heard.
00:54:23You poor naive girl.
00:54:25Did you really think my brain dead fiancé was behind all this?
00:54:28I just made him believe it was all his idea.
00:54:31Our affair in the throne room.
00:54:33Bribing the judge.
00:54:35I even had to force him to hit me.
00:54:37He thinks this whole charade is about winning him the throne.
00:54:41And what is it really about?
00:54:45Bringing down the piercements.
00:54:50For generations they've looked down their noses at little Athena.
00:54:55We've been invaded and attacked too many times to count.
00:55:00And yet, my father sent me here to marry your loser Prince.
00:55:06So I decided to use Marcus to divide the family.
00:55:10Bring them down from the inside.
00:55:13I didn't factor you in, of course,
00:55:15but clearly I needn't have worried about Edward's dollar store, Princess.
00:55:19You'll soon be forgotten.
00:55:21A side note in the downfall of the Estrian royal family.
00:55:26Oh, chop chop. Time to hear your husband's guilty verdict.
00:55:31You won't get away with this.
00:55:33Oh, darling. I already have.
00:55:37Oh, here they are.
00:55:42Princess Dima, did you know that this conversation with Princess Arie
00:55:45was recorded and live-streamed on other social media?
00:55:49What?
00:55:50Who's the naive one now?
00:55:52You devious little bitch.
00:55:56I learned from the best.
00:56:01If you ever threaten my family again,
00:56:04I will put you in a box smaller than the cell that you're headed for.
00:56:08Okay?
00:56:10You alright?
00:56:11Yes, where's Edward?
00:56:13The judge has found him guilty.
00:56:17Wait!
00:56:18I have new evidence that proves that Prince Edward is innocent.
00:56:23I've already passed my judgement.
00:56:26The Prince is guilty as charged.
00:56:28Well, Your Honour,
00:56:29I also have evidence that you were bribed into making that verdict.
00:56:33How dare you!
00:56:35Bailiff!
00:56:36Stop right there.
00:56:38This sham is over.
00:56:40You hold no authority here.
00:56:43This is the Crown Court, is it not?
00:56:44I am the living embodiment of the Crown and I revoke your spurious guilty verdict.
00:56:51And I charge you, Prince Marcus and Princess Dima, with treason.
00:56:57Arrest them!
00:56:59Save my name!
00:57:00Save my name!
00:57:01Save my name!
00:57:02Save my name!
00:57:03Save my name!
00:57:04Save my name!
00:57:05Save my name!
00:57:06Save my name!
00:57:07Save my name!
00:57:08Save my name!
00:57:09Save my name!
00:57:10Save my name!
00:57:11Save my name!
00:57:16Save my name!
00:57:18You saved me again.
00:57:21Looks like Prince Charlie is not the only hero around here.
00:57:23Save my name!
00:57:24Save my name!
00:57:25Save my name!
00:57:26Save my name!
00:57:27Save my name!
00:57:33Come.
00:57:37You wanted to see us, Father?
00:57:39I owe you an apology, Edward.
00:57:43You're never capable of such violence.
00:57:45You've always been a man of peace.
00:57:47And, Larry, you share the same compassion and charisma
00:57:51as Edward's mother had in spades.
00:57:55You'll make a great queen.
00:57:57Thank you, Father.
00:57:59Of course, we do still have to work on the decorum.
00:58:01Ah, we have plenty of time for that, Pops.
00:58:03Actually, the public are thirsty for new blood
00:58:09and, well, I'm ready for a rest.
00:58:12So I've decided to abdicate the throne to you two, young upstarts.
00:58:17Good luck.
00:58:33Your Royal Highness.
00:58:36We're going to New York, Percy, and we need protection.
00:58:39I might let you down.
00:58:41Forget about it.
00:58:42You were looking out for your family, and I get that.
00:58:45So shave that stubble, soldier.
00:58:47We got a plane to catch.
00:58:51Yes, ma'am.
00:58:57Good morning.
00:58:58We're very happy to...
00:59:00Sorry, um, we're very happy to welcome you all here today.
00:59:06As you know, my sister recently beat cancer.
00:59:12It was a hard battle, and to pay for it, I became a princess.
00:59:17But that's not really an option for most people.
00:59:21So, that's why we've opened Henley's House,
00:59:25a place where cancer patients can get free support throughout their treatment.
00:59:30Ah, so, um, please welcome the woman of the hour, Henley Douglas.
00:59:39I now declare Henley's House open!
00:59:48Well, I can't believe you made yourself first patient of Henley's House.
00:59:51Oh, God.
00:59:53I can't go through this again.
00:59:55I've got your bellyaching, Mom.
00:59:57Not every bellyache is a tumor.
00:59:59Do you ever feel like you liked her better when she was in a coma?
01:00:04Well, something did come up on this test results, folks.
01:00:08It's cancer.
01:00:09We're cursed.
01:00:11No, it's not cancer.
01:00:12Kidney stones.
01:00:14Liver disease.
01:00:15Mom.
01:00:15You're having a royal baby, Ari.
01:00:17Oh, my goodness.
01:00:33Our lives are about to change forever.
01:00:36In more ways than you know.
01:00:38I love you.
01:00:48I love you, too.
01:00:49I love you.
01:01:12I love you, too.
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