Why Elders Feel Entitled — And Kids Feel Used  Emotional Boundaries in Families - video Dailymotion

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Why Elders Feel Entitled — And Kids Feel Used  Emotional Boundaries in Families

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00:00Family dynamics are complex, often shaped by years of unspoken rules and silent sacrifices.

00:06Picture this.

00:08A tired adult child cooks dinner while an elder hovers nearby,

00:12offering advice that feels more like criticism than support.

00:16The elder sighs.

00:18After all I've done, the least you could do is...

00:21The adult child, fighting back frustration, thinks,

00:24I'm trying, but I feel like I'm never enough.

00:26When love spans generations, unspoken expectations can quietly turn affection into resentment,

00:34leaving everyone feeling misunderstood.

00:36Why is this conflict between elders and their adult children so common?

00:41The answer goes beyond personality clashes or simple miscommunication.

00:46Many elders feel entitled to a certain level of respect, care, or obedience from the next generation.

00:52They may not always say it out loud, but it colors every interaction.

00:57I sacrificed for you. Now it's your turn.

01:01Meanwhile, adult children, already juggling careers, partners, and their own children,

01:07often feel emotionally used or stretched too thin.

01:11Their inner dialogue is just as real.

01:13I'm helping, but it's never enough, and it never seems to be appreciated.

01:18It's not that one side is bad or selfish.

01:21Both are operating on what psychologists call unspoken emotional contracts.

01:26These contracts are invisible, but powerful.

01:29Elders might see themselves as the keepers of tradition and family,

01:33deserving respect and support.

01:35Adult children, on the other hand, may see themselves as partners,

01:39not servants, in the ongoing work of family care.

01:43When these expectations aren't shared openly,

01:46frustration brews on both sides,

01:49making even small disagreements feel like betrayals.

01:52To understand where this pattern comes from,

01:54we need to look at the psychology behind it.

01:57For many elders, love was taught through obedience and acts of service.

02:02In their formative years, family duty wasn't just encouraged.

02:05It was expected.

02:06To serve your elders was to honor them.

02:09Love and duty were inseparable.

02:11Yet, for younger generations, the world has changed.

02:15Today's adults are more likely to have grown up with conversations about boundaries,

02:19consent, and emotional autonomy.

02:22They're taught that love isn't just about sacrifice.

02:25It's about choice and mutual respect.

02:28This difference in upbringing creates a recurring loop.

02:31The elder expects gratitude for past sacrifices.

02:34The adult child feels pressured and unappreciated.

02:38Both feel unseen, trapped in a cycle that repeats itself with every interaction.

02:43This isn't just about age or culture.

02:46It's about how each generation learned to survive,

02:49to connect, and to show love.

02:51The result?

02:52A deep, often painful misunderstanding

02:54shaped by shifting social values and the scars of sacrifice.

02:58So, how do we break this cycle and manage family expectations with compassion?

03:04Here are three practical tips you can use today.

03:07First, name the invisible contract.

03:10If you sense that expectations are simmering beneath the surface, say so.

03:14Try.

03:15I feel like you expect something from me.

03:18Let's talk about that.

03:19This isn't disrespect.

03:20It's a way to clarify love and make space for honest dialogue.

03:24Second, balance duty with choice.

03:27Elders need to hear,

03:29I help because I care, not because I owe you.

03:32This subtle shift can transform the energy in a relationship.

03:36When help is given freely, rather than out of guilt or obligation,

03:40it becomes an act of love, rather than a burden.

03:43Third, practice emotional check-ins.

03:46Ask questions like,

03:48What do you need emotionally today?

03:50And,

03:51Do you feel appreciated by me?

03:53These simple queries can dissolve years of resentment,

03:57opening the door to empathy and understanding on both sides.

04:00The truth is, every family will have expectations.

04:04The goal isn't to erase them,

04:06but to replace silent pressure with spoken understanding.

04:10By bringing these conversations into the open,

04:13we turn obligation into opportunity,

04:15building bridges between generations that are rooted in compassion,

04:19not guilt.

04:20Have you ever felt trapped between duty and exhaustion in your family?

04:24You're not alone.

04:26Remember,

04:26every step toward honest communication

04:28is a step closer to genuine connection.

04:31Practice these tips,

04:33and watch your family bonds grow stronger,

04:35one conversation at a time.

04:37And you're never sure about when you're faced with me.

04:38It's really hard to do.

04:39Before I say that,

04:39if you notice to me,

04:40I know where to gather pains in my family.

04:42You are definitely in afictions in your family.

04:42And you know that you'reы tame people,

04:44when you are awake,

04:44when you're jestem Although my husband,

04:45when you're alive and you're alive,

04:46when you haveippers in my own family.

04:46But to aرا

Why Elders Feel Entitled — And Kids Feel Used Emotional Boundaries in Families

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