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  • 6/27/2025
“They Raised You, But Now They Won’t Let You Raise Your Kids Setting Boundaries With Overstepping Elders”
Transcript
00:00They changed your diapers, held your hands as you learned to walk,
00:04and whispered words of encouragement as you took your first steps into the world.
00:08For years, your parents were your guides, your protectors, and your role models.
00:13Their love was the center of your universe.
00:16But now, the roles have shifted.
00:19You're a parent, too, eager to shape your child's world with your own values,
00:24your own rules, your own heart.
00:27Yet, despite this new chapter, the shadow of their guidance lingers.
00:32Sometimes, it feels less like support, and more like supervision.
00:36Why does this happen?
00:38For many parents, raising their children was more than a duty.
00:41It became their identity.
00:44Letting go of that role can feel like losing a piece of themselves.
00:47There's a quiet fear that their relevance is fading,
00:50that their wisdom is being sidelined,
00:52that the family they built is evolving without them.
00:55So they lean in, sometimes too far.
00:58They over-offer advice,
01:00correct your discipline in front of your kids,
01:03or question your decisions about food, bedtime, or screen time.
01:08It's not malice.
01:09It's fear.
01:10Fear of being left out, unneeded, or obsolete.
01:14But what happens when love turns into overstepping?
01:17The difference between support and control may seem subtle,
01:20but it can shape the entire family dynamic.
01:24When your parents override your choices,
01:26it sends a silent message.
01:28You're still not ready.
01:30This may spark resentment, guilt, or even embarrassment,
01:34especially when it happens in front of your children.
01:37It blurs the boundaries.
01:39Who is the parent now?
01:41Your kids look to you for leadership,
01:42but if those lines are crossed,
01:44confusion and conflict can take root.
01:46So how do you reclaim your role as a parent without breaking hearts?
01:50How do you honor the love and wisdom of your elders
01:52while firmly establishing your own authority?
01:56Here are three strategies to help you set loving, respectful boundaries.
02:00First, hold a calm, parent-to-parent conversation.
02:04This isn't about confrontation.
02:06It's about collaboration.
02:09Express your gratitude for how you were raised.
02:12Acknowledge their experience and the values they instilled in you.
02:15Then, gently but firmly,
02:18explain that you need space to raise your children in your own way.
02:22Make it clear that, while their support is always welcome,
02:25undermining your decisions is not.
02:28This conversation won't always be easy,
02:31but it sets the tone for mutual respect.
02:33Second, use United Front Parenting.
02:36If you have a partner,
02:37agree on your priorities, house rules,
02:41and discipline strategies before issues arise.
02:43Present a consistent message in front of your parents,
02:47backing each other up when opinions differ.
02:50This United Front not only reinforces your authority,
02:54but also provides stability and clarity for your children,
02:58who benefit from knowing exactly where the boundaries lie.
03:01Third, include grandparents in meaningful ways,
03:04without abdicating your role.
03:06Give them specific, valued responsibilities that play to their strengths,
03:11such as being the family storyteller,
03:13the bedtime reader,
03:14or the keeper of family traditions.
03:17This honors their role in your child's life,
03:19without giving them the reins.
03:21Inclusion helps them feel valued,
03:23but maintaining clear boundaries
03:25ensures that your parental authority remains intact.
03:28Remember, you're not rejecting your parents.
03:30You're evolving the family dynamic.
03:33When everyone respects their role,
03:35love feels lighter and more joyful.
03:38Your child benefits from the wisdom of earlier generations
03:41and the clarity of your own leadership.
03:44The result is a family where everyone belongs,
03:47everyone is respected,
03:48and everyone grows together.
03:50Setting boundaries takes courage and sensitivity.
03:54It means honoring the past
03:55while gently steering your family into the future.
03:57But in doing so,
03:59you create a home where love is shared,
04:01not overshadowed,
04:03where every generation can flourish in their own unique way.

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