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00:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:30I was the peak of that kid's career.
00:32I deserve a film, okay?
00:34He's cool because of me.
00:36Right.
00:37The Cell saga?
00:39The Cell games?
00:40My character's story progress across multiple timelines.
00:45I am the shit.
00:46Right.
00:47What do you mean, right?
00:49What's that mean?
00:50What do you mean, what's it mean?
00:51Kermit, I know that look.
00:53Bullshit.
00:53What do you mean, bullshit?
00:55I literally can't stare at you any other way, Cell.
00:57I'm a Muppet.
00:58I saw you twitch.
01:00Bitch, I can't even blink.
01:02You're excited for that movie, aren't you?
01:04I am not.
01:05Hey, Kermit.
01:05I got the tickets for that new Dragon Ball movie, lucky ass.
01:09Really?
01:10I liked you better when you were a bitch.
01:12Yeah, why is he so mad?
01:13You're both fucking traitors.
01:14How dare you support that film?
01:16Cell, you literally shot me in the chest.
01:19You left me for dead.
01:20And then, you went on to make several videos with my evil twin brother.
01:24Wow, you have soft hands.
01:25They told me, you fucking weirdo.
01:27For the record, I didn't know he was your brother.
01:30At first.
01:31Yeah, not to add on, but you also made my shark suit a meme for two years.
01:35And it was worth it.
01:37Yeah, well one day, when a mecha version of that same suit comes chasing your ass for revenge,
01:42don't come asking me for help.
01:44Oh, please, shallot.
01:48Like I would ever...
01:50Hey.
01:51Hey, is that foreshadowing?
01:52See you tomorrow, Cell.
01:53Motherfucker, is that foreshadowing?
01:56Shallot!
01:58Shallot!
01:59So, your pops split the galaxy, but assigned you the wrong half.
02:03Exactly.
02:04And now Cooler has all of my shit.
02:06Yeah, but doesn't that mean that you have his?
02:09Why would I want any of his garbage?
02:11He barely cares for his side of the universe.
02:13I have an entire fleet, countless planets, a personal fucking army, and Zabon!
02:20Freeza, if you really are the emperor that you say you are,
02:23you'd go over there, look Cooler straight in the face, and smack the shit out of him.
02:27Yeah, I don't think he's tall enough, Kermit.
02:28Scratch that.
02:29You go over there, you look Cooler right in the dick, and you smack the shit out of his dick.
02:33Kermit.
02:34He has to assert dominance, Cell.
02:36Trust me, it's the right move.
02:38Freeza, just go over there and demand your side of the galaxy back.
02:42And smack that dick.
02:44Kermit, enough!
02:45He won't listen.
02:46You two are friends with him, you tell him.
02:49No way, I'm not touching his dick.
02:50No one is touching dicks!
02:52Oh.
02:53Freeza, we are not holding your hand for this one.
02:56Literally.
02:57Where is Cooler anyway?
02:59What?
03:00Wait a minute, he was here just a second ago.
03:01We'll be right back.
03:31And that is why they subscribed.
03:42Alright, tell me again why he's here.
03:45Well, to be fair, he's been asking for another episode.
03:47So what?
03:48We just agreed to let him stand there shirtless for two minutes and talk about how he wants
03:52to fuck the son.
03:54I could get Junior for another depressing episode instead, Cell.
03:57Where is that kid anyway?
03:58I think I saw him hanging out with Pump Daddy C.
04:00What?
04:01He's hanging out with Pump Daddy C?
04:03Why is he hanging out with Pump Daddy C?
04:05Perhaps you are a horrible father.
04:08You know what, Escanor?
04:09You're not even wanted here.
04:11If I recall the last time, not only did you cause emotional damage, you cost me a fortune
04:17when you destroy the arena.
04:20Insignificant.
04:21And see, that's the problem.
04:23You don't have any consideration for other people's shit.
04:27Relax, Cell.
04:28Escanor promised he wouldn't destroy the arena this time.
04:31But he does have a point.
04:32Do you think because you don't wear a shirt, you can do whatever you want?
04:37Yes.
04:37That is not how this works, pal.
04:42God damn, that shit is rock hard.
04:45You could say it's almost perfect, isn't it?
04:51Listen here, you gorgeous son of a bitch.
04:54You may have a sexy mustache, a rocking physique, and the tightest fucking pants in the DAU, but
05:01that doesn't mean that you are perfect.
05:04There is only one perfect being, and that is moi.
05:18Why are we chilling in space?
05:20Look out onto the planet, Junior.
05:23What do you see?
05:24Well, it's a pretty ball with a bunch of assholes on it.
05:28An entire planet waiting to be conquered and dominated.
05:34I mean, that seems unrealistic for someone like me.
05:37Nonsense.
05:38You are literally a blue copy of your father.
05:41Yeah, I'd rather not be compared to him.
05:43Think of what you can accomplish with your power.
05:46Conquering planets.
05:48Destroying any and all who oppose you.
05:51I mean, that seems kind of mean.
05:52You would be unstoppable.
05:54What are you getting at?
05:56You have this power, and you refuse to use it.
05:59Maybe I don't want to.
06:01Why?
06:02Because it'll make you like your father?
06:05You reject the side that makes you so similar.
06:08Pathetic.
06:10You can be so much more, boy.
06:13All you need is a father figure.
06:16I've had a few of those, actually.
06:17Hey, kid.
06:21Want to be adopted?
06:22It was a weird time in my life.
06:24Stick with me, kid.
06:25And I'll turn you into a warrior.
06:27No, the ultimate warrior.
06:29No, the perfect warrior.
06:32Cool.
06:33This is the beginning of the rest of your life.
06:36And nothing can ruin it.
06:38So, you want to get ripped.
06:57You want to get bitches.
07:00And you've come to the right place.
07:02Because I, Pump Daddy C, will transform you into the ultimate child.
07:08For a little few of those.
07:10You hear that, Grand Frog?
07:12Great get bitches.
07:15Wow.
07:15Good for you, pal.
07:18As you can clearly see,
07:22our members take their training very seriously.
07:26Except that guy.
07:27That guy sleeps all day long.
07:29I need help, Pump Daddy.
07:31To prepare for fight.
07:33A fight?
07:34A fight with who?
07:35Son of a...
07:36We are not fighting!
07:38Not you.
07:39Him.
07:41Wait, what the...
07:41Be strong.
07:43Of course he is.
07:44I taught him myself.
07:46Under me, you will learn to fight as well.
07:49Fantastic.
07:50What now?
07:51Now, we just need a cool 80's soundtrack for a montage.
07:57It's all I could find.
08:01Da!
08:02This will do.
08:21Death electromagnetic music plays.
08:33All time.
08:33It's all I could find.
08:35It's all I could find.
08:37There we go.
08:38And now, we will learn to pack as well.
08:39I could find.
08:40This will do.
08:40I could find.
08:41This will do.
08:41It's all I could find.
08:41A fight with who?
08:42I could find.
08:42I could find.
08:43Baby-bloobobobman.
08:44Baby blowboard man, prepare to die
08:53Was that good?
08:57Yeah, not bad, not bad, but try not holding back
09:02Oh, you noticed
09:03It's obvious
09:04Come on, let's find someone else to punch
09:06Kermit, buddy
09:07Two seconds
09:08Junior, Junior
09:13Kermit, where's the brat?
09:15With Cooler, Cell, doing some real training
09:17This again?
09:19Look, I am all for Cooler having screen time, but that is my kid
09:23Now you care
09:24I... what?
09:26Nothing
09:26I care
09:28Sure
09:28Kermit, you're a Muppet, what do you know about being a father?
09:32He came out of my ass, not Cooler's
09:34Anyone can shit a baby out their ass, Cell
09:36What? No, they can't
09:38But it takes a real man to be a father
09:41Kermit
09:42Cell, just save it
09:43You may have given him life
09:46But you were never his father
09:47I'll see you tomorrow, buddy
09:52I should be like you, Muppet
09:57You may have given him
10:12You may have given him
10:14Gracias por ver el video.
10:44Gracias por ver el video.
11:14Gracias por ver el video.
11:44So, uh, has he been like this all day?
11:48Yeah, he's currently hitting that midlife crisis arc.
11:51Man, that's the saddest shit I've ever seen.
11:54Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere?
11:57Hey! He recognizes you!
11:58Uh, yeah, actually. I'm from Dragon Ball Legends.
12:03You're from the Muppets!
12:04Huh?
12:04I love that show!
12:07Oh, that's awkward.
12:08Um, yeah, I'd keep it moving if I were you, pal.
12:11Yeah, I'd leave before Sal starts bitching!
12:15Nothing?
12:18Wow. Depression's a bitch.
12:21Is everything okay?
12:23Uh, yeah.
12:24Just our friend. Normally he'd threaten to kill you by now.
12:27Oh, man, you'd be doing me a favor.
12:29Uh, I don't follow?
12:31I'm immortal.
12:32Oh, wow. That must be fun.
12:34It's boring, actually.
12:35Ah!
12:36What the fuck?
12:37Just wanted to see if it's true.
12:39You know, I can still feel pain.
12:40But can you feel pleasure?
12:42Hey!
12:43Hey, I remember you now.
12:45Oh?
12:46Yeah, it's coming back to me now.
12:48The cliche white anime hair,
12:50the dashing good looks,
12:52the stripper attire,
12:53your bond of the seven deadly sins.
12:56Seven deadly sins?
12:58Isn't that the boy band that Eskinor's from?
13:01What? We're not a boy band.
13:03You're telling me the super tight,
13:05hot red leather doesn't scream boy band.
13:07Does it bother you?
13:09I could take my clothes off.
13:11No, no!
13:12Put your fucking clothes back on, man!
13:14Why?
13:14You feeling intimidated?
13:16By all this beef?
13:18Hey, yo!
13:19That's fucking sus.
13:22All right.
13:22To be honest,
13:23and this is probably just a me thing,
13:25I could never be intimidated
13:27by someone with no nipples.
13:31Holy shit.
13:32Thanks, Charlotte.
13:33Now, I can never unsee that
13:35for as long as I live.
13:36Oh, my fucking God.
13:37If you have no nipples,
13:39then what's the point?
13:40I'm convinced you guys
13:43are crazier than I am.
13:45Great.
13:45Now you've made Zarbon
13:46both flaccid and depressed.
13:48You're a monster.
13:49What the fuck is this place?
13:52Fight me.
13:55Fight me.
13:58Fucking fight me.
14:00He never fights.
14:02Makes me sad.
14:04Gracias, amigo.
14:05Your information on Sale's position
14:07has been most helpful.
14:09Remember,
14:10you must see me.
14:14I'm God, Perfect Sale.
14:16For I,
14:17Puss,
14:18in birds,
14:20have come for your clout.
14:21You are probably wondering
14:27how it is possible
14:28for an elite such as myself
14:29to track you down.
14:30And the truth is,
14:32your dinosaur friend
14:33sold you out.
14:34You motherfucker.
14:36Look,
14:37if you don't mind,
14:38I'm trying to be depressed.
14:39I'm not that hard to find,
14:41and it's obvious
14:41Rex can't whisper.
14:43Ah,
14:43so the bug speaks
14:45on your feet,
14:47unless you rather die.
14:48I've already lost everything,
14:51so go ahead,
14:52put me out my misery.
14:53Jamako,
14:55it seems you are experiencing
14:56internal crisis,
14:58no?
14:59I'm talking to a cat
15:00in fucking woods.
15:02It's a new law for me,
15:03okay?
15:03Well,
15:04luckily for you,
15:05I am the pussy you need.
15:08Yeah,
15:09I'm gonna pass on that.
15:10We cannot have a fair
15:12and noble fight to the death
15:14unless we overcome
15:15this pain of yours,
15:16this internal struggle.
15:19Tell me,
15:20what troubles you sow?
15:22I suck as an android,
15:24I suck as a father,
15:26and now,
15:26I'm missing out
15:27on key moments
15:28of my child's life.
15:30I fucked up.
15:31I'm not supposed
15:32to fuck up.
15:32I understand,
15:34but nobody's perfect,
15:35Jamako.
15:36Fuck you,
15:36I take that personally.
15:38It is okay
15:38to make mistakes.
15:40Take the time
15:41to really get to know
15:42your child,
15:43share a moment with them,
15:44and maybe
15:45you'll be able
15:46to salvage
15:47a relationship.
15:50Huh.
15:51That seems
15:52really logical,
15:53actually.
15:54Now then,
15:56en garde.
15:58Ugh.
16:06Junior,
16:06my boy.
16:08Huh?
16:08Oh,
16:10hello,
16:10father.
16:11Listen up,
16:11kid.
16:11so I heard
16:13that you
16:13were training
16:14with Pump Daddy C.
16:16Oh.
16:17Yeah,
16:17he's been helping
16:18me out a bit.
16:19That's great!
16:20That is fantastic.
16:22Listen,
16:23I was wondering,
16:24if you're not too busy,
16:25maybe we could
16:26hit up West City.
16:27Yeah,
16:28I'll pass.
16:28Uh,
16:29oh,
16:30okay.
16:31Uh,
16:32how about training?
16:33I've already trained
16:33today,
16:34actually.
16:35Cooler taught me
16:35a few things
16:36this morning.
16:36Okay,
16:37uh,
16:37how about I teach
16:38you how to fly?
16:39Cooler taught me
16:39how to fly.
16:40Motherfu-
16:41Okay,
16:42not an issue.
16:43How about
16:44you learn
16:45the legendary
16:46Kamehameha
16:47from your old
16:47pops,
16:48huh?
16:48I learned how to do
16:49that with Cooler.
16:50What?
16:50How?
16:51The Kamehameha
16:51is my technique.
16:53I call bullshit!
16:55Shut up,
16:55Roshi!
16:56He didn't actually
16:57teach me the technique,
16:58just key manipulation.
17:00I figured out
17:00the rest myself.
17:02You did?
17:03I mean,
17:04of course you did.
17:06You're literally
17:07perfect,
17:08kid.
17:09Huh?
17:09Look,
17:11this is not
17:13easy for me.
17:15I'm not one
17:16for wholesome
17:17bullshit,
17:18but I think
17:19this one is overdue.
17:21What do you mean?
17:22I'm sorry,
17:23kid.
17:23I've been a shit
17:24father.
17:26No other way
17:26to put it.
17:27I was literally
17:28created with the
17:29cells of the
17:30strongest deadbeats
17:31in existence.
17:33But even so,
17:34you deserve
17:35better.
17:36I got this
17:37for you,
17:38kid.
17:40You,
17:41you know.
17:43I do!
17:44I know it's
17:45your favorite.
17:46But,
17:46but you hate
17:47One Piece.
17:48I thought that
17:49you'd be upset
17:50that you love
17:51One Piece?
17:52Are you kidding me?
17:53I am an adult.
17:54Why?
17:57Fuck!
17:58That fucking
17:59One Piece,
18:00Kermit!
18:01That fucking
18:01One Piece!
18:02I'm sorry you
18:03had to find out
18:03this way,
18:04Cell.
18:04Why?
18:06Kermit told me
18:07I took it like a
18:08champ,
18:09got over it.
18:10Either way,
18:11maybe,
18:12I'm not so
18:13perfect after all.
18:15What?
18:16I mean,
18:17I've lost a Gohan,
18:18a child,
18:19for God's sake.
18:20And Vegeta.
18:21That didn't count.
18:22And Trunks.
18:22That didn't count.
18:24And everyone else
18:24in your Cell Versus videos.
18:25Okay,
18:26I get it.
18:27Point is,
18:28I'm flawed,
18:30kid.
18:31I may not be patient,
18:32or understanding,
18:33or motivating,
18:35or loving,
18:36or have a sexy shade
18:37of amethyst purple,
18:39but,
18:39goddammit,
18:40kid,
18:41I do care.
18:44There's only one
18:45Cell Jr.
18:46in this universe,
18:48and I wouldn't have it
18:50any other way.
18:52The hell do you mean you don't do breakfast?
19:17Cell is a biological android
19:19who can eat people
19:20with his booty straw.
19:21And I,
19:22I'm a Muppet.
19:23I don't eat food.
19:24Are you kidding me?
19:25Food is like the best part of life.
19:26You're saying that
19:27because you're a Saiyan.
19:28That's racist.
19:30I'm a Saiyan!
19:31Shallot,
19:31before asking that question,
19:33did you not notice
19:33the lack of a fridge?
19:34I did notice
19:35the lack of bitches.
19:36Ah,
19:37shit.
19:38Did I come in at bedtime?
19:39What was that?
19:42Who in the hell are you?
19:43It's Bon,
19:44of the Seven Deadly Sins.
19:46He stopped by last time,
19:47but you were depressed
19:48or whatever.
19:49Cliche white anime hair,
19:51drop dead sexy,
19:52dressed like a stripper.
19:54He's in a boy band,
19:55isn't he?
19:56Look,
19:56we've been through this, man.
19:57I'm not in a boy band.
19:59It's a guild.
20:00Also,
20:01we have female members.
20:02Heh heh.
20:03What are you not doing?
20:05I'm not interested.
20:06You keep your damn
20:07K-pop away from me,
20:08you son of a bitch.
20:09I hear you're
20:10one hell of a fighter.
20:12That's false.
20:13We don't actually
20:14do any real fighting
20:15around here.
20:15We just talk a bunch of shit
20:17and meme for a few minutes.
20:19With the occasional
20:20ass and titties.
20:21Right.
20:21Right.
20:22I'm the serious one
20:23on the show.
20:24And the strongest.
20:25And the coolest.
20:26The last part's debatable.
20:28You guys are crazy.
20:29I kinda love it.
20:31Say,
20:31do you think I could wish
20:31for nipples
20:32if we collect the Dragon Balls?
20:33You're joking.
20:35We're not about to make
20:35that an arc,
20:36are we?
20:39Kermit!
20:41All right, Bon.
20:46The Dragon Ball
20:47should be around here
20:48somewhere.
20:49Hmm.
20:50Huh.
20:51You think it could be
20:52over there?
20:54Oh, hey.
20:55Isn't that Frieza's ship?
20:57Well, the Dragon Radar
20:58is pointing in that direction.
20:59So you know this guy then?
21:01Uh, well, kinda.
21:03Then what are we waiting for?
21:04Let's go check it out.
21:06Sounds good.
21:06We just need to find a way
21:07to get down from the cliff
21:08safely and then...
21:09I'm okay.
21:17Yeah.
21:19So, in a nutshell,
21:21we need that Dragon Ball
21:22to wish him
21:23a pair of nipples.
21:24You're really turning
21:25that into an arc?
21:26Absolutely.
21:27Yeah, we're like
21:28three episodes in.
21:29Hey, quick question, man.
21:31Unrelated.
21:31Aren't you a little short
21:33to be an emperor?
21:33That guy's an asshole.
21:43Do you take the mighty
21:44Emperor Frieza for a fool?
21:46If you make your wish,
21:48the Dragon Balls
21:49will become ineffective.
21:51Come on, man.
21:51There's gotta be something
21:52we can do to get
21:52the Dragon Ball.
21:55If you want the Dragon Ball,
21:56you'll have to take it.
22:00All I have to do is take it?
22:31Yeah, that might not be
22:32as easy as it sounds, buddy.
22:35What?
22:36How the hell did you do that?
22:38Well, it's a special
22:38ability of mine.
22:41Fun!
22:42Interesting technique.
22:44But I will be holding
22:46on to the Dragon Ball.
22:48Well, all right then.
22:50I guess I could play
22:51for just a bit.
22:52Shall we?
23:12Uh-oh.
23:14Uh-oh.
23:16Pathetic.
23:18What did you think
23:19to accomplish with those?
23:22If you could not do that again,
23:26I would appreciate it.
23:27What?
23:28How?
23:29How are you?
23:30Alive?
23:31Oh, right, right.
23:31That always freaks him out
23:32first time.
23:33Well,
23:34if it isn't obvious,
23:37I'm immortal.
23:39So I can't die.
23:41You're immortal?
23:42Pretty much.
23:44Jealous?
23:45Yes.
23:47How are you?
23:48YAH!
23:51Huh?
23:52That...
23:53I...
23:54I felt that.
23:57I can tell you're confused.
23:59Probably wondering
24:00why my attacks
24:00are starting to tickle.
24:02Do you need me
24:03to explain that one
24:04as well,
24:04Mr. Emperor?
24:06You little...
24:08I am no fool.
24:10Clearly you've taken
24:11my power for your own.
24:12Interesting abilities, indeed.
24:15Especially when paired
24:16with immortality.
24:18Yep.
24:19Yeah, kind of broken.
24:20I see no reason
24:21to waste time
24:22with a battle.
24:23Just take the damn
24:24Dragon Ball.
24:25Look, man.
24:25If it makes you feel
24:26any better,
24:27after I get my wish,
24:29we can collect
24:29the Dragon Balls again
24:31and wish you
24:32a pair of nipples as well.
24:35Please leave
24:36before I change my mind.
24:37I n...
24:37Look,
24:41I'm not losing
24:42my shit here.
24:43I'm telling you
24:44I've killed him before,
24:45Kermit.
24:46Yeah,
24:46you're probably right,
24:47Sel.
24:47But you forgot
24:48that cats
24:49have nine lives.
24:51Wait,
24:51what?
24:52That's fucking hacks.
24:53I didn't make the rule, Sel.
24:54Now I can continue
24:56to be the perfect rival,
24:57no?
24:58The perfect rival?
25:00Ha!
25:01Yeah, no,
25:01I've had way better rivals.
25:04Bullshit.
25:04What is impressive?
25:13See,
25:14you're gonna have to
25:14step your game up
25:15if you wanna be a rival,
25:17okay?
25:18A puss in boots
25:19is hardly a threat.
25:22And behold,
25:23a puss
25:24in teams.
25:25We'll see you next time.
25:26We'll see you next time.
25:55Behold, Sel.
26:00The Master Emerald.
26:01Yeah,
26:02that looks super tacky.
26:03What?
26:04It's the source
26:04of ultimate power.
26:06The source
26:06of ultimate power?
26:08And it's just
26:08out here?
26:09Of course not.
26:11It's being guarded
26:11by furries.
26:12What the hell
26:13are they gonna do?
26:14No key,
26:15no guns,
26:15definitely no bitches.
26:16So what are they
26:17gonna do?
26:18I mean,
26:19we have chili dogs.
26:20Fuck your chili dog.
26:31Kermit,
26:31why are we here?
26:32Because if they need
26:32help guarding this thing,
26:33I refuse.
26:35Actually,
26:35we have knuckles for that.
26:37What?
26:38Hello,
26:52I am Knuckles,
26:54the last of the...
26:55I don't know the way!
26:56Relax, Sel.
26:57Relax,
26:57it's okay.
26:58Sorry,
26:59he has his thing
27:00with the kidneys.
27:00I totally understand.
27:02I am extremely
27:03intimidating.
27:05Stop fucking clicking.
27:06Stop fucking clicking!
27:08Relax, Sel.
27:09He's not gonna meme you.
27:11He's harmless.
27:12Look at him.
27:13He's...
27:13What are you doing,
27:15Knuckles?
27:15Forgive me.
27:16I'm attempting
27:17to solve this...
27:18What is this?
27:21A Rubik's Cube?
27:22The Cube of Rubik.
27:24A worthy opponent
27:25indeed.
27:27Our battle
27:28will be legendary.
27:30Put that fucking thing down
27:32or I swear to God!
27:33Alright, Sel.
27:34You're clearly experiencing
27:36a mental breakdown.
27:37So,
27:37I think it's best we leave.
27:39I can help you guys
27:40up the island
27:41if you'd like.
27:42Nah,
27:42it's okay.
27:43We'll manage.
27:44Come on, Sel.
27:45You guys sure?
27:46Do you even know the way?
27:49Sel?
27:50Do you even know the way?
27:53Do I know the way?
27:56Do I know the way?
27:58I'll show you
27:59the fucking way!
28:01Everyone run!
28:03Run!
28:03Run!
28:04What?
28:15I own the way!
28:16You're cold!
28:18You're cold!
28:22You're cold!
28:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
28:54Ha ha! It is done. I have solved the fabled Cube of Rubik. I stand mighty over your relic, slow creature.
29:03Do you hear me, cell creature? I have dominated your Cube of Rubik.
29:10Ah, now this. This is what I'm talking about.
29:14Mmm, this is so relaxing. Why didn't you think of this sooner?
29:20Because Kermit throws away the budget on meaningless nonsense.
29:24Well, am I glad you put it to better use, cell.
29:27What are you doing?
29:29Oh, don't mind me. I'm just...
29:30Kermit, get the hell out of the tub.
29:32I'm sorry, cell. I'm not trying to make it awkward. I can close my eyes while you guys do the nasty.
29:36Actually, that won't work. I don't have any actual eyelids. I can't look away, though.
29:40Kermit, get the hell out of the tub.
29:42Darling, relax. Just let him be. He's not bothering anyone.
29:46See? I like her, cell. Not only does she have boobs, but she's reasonable.
29:52Can a biological android get no privacy?
29:55To be fair, you do live out in the open. The last thing you care about is privacy.
30:01I... You... But... Pee!
30:06You know, I think you both are missing the point of relaxing in a hot tub.
30:11Why the hell are you here and why are you wearing clothes?
30:14It ain't sus if I'm fully clothed, cell. Everybody knows that. It's fair game, baby.
30:21Zabon's next, isn't he?
30:23Eh, mother...
30:24All right, it's simple. You attach the piece, like so. Mind the drip.
30:28Kermit.
30:29Then you can shoot out scrolls at will.
30:31And those scrolls do what, exactly?
30:33Multiple things. They could be used as projectiles, or you can store stuff inside them.
30:37Weapons, ninjutsu, all kinds of illegal substances.
30:41Kermit.
30:41I'm serious. A gun? A joint? A gun and a joint? The sky's the limit, cell.
30:46My god.
30:47You clearly need an example.
30:48No, I don't!
30:50Hey, Bon?
30:50What's up?
30:51You mind being a part of this demonstration?
30:54Yeah, sure, whatever.
30:54What's he doing here? Aren't you guys in the middle of another filler episode?
30:59The fans demand more screen time, cell.
31:01Anyways, check this out.
31:02You throw up a gang sign, and then...
31:04Cool, huh?
31:10Maximum level ninjutsu, all in the palm of your hand, with zero effort.
31:14Kinda broken.
31:15Uh, is he good?
31:17He'll be fine. He's immortal.
31:18Happens all the time. Listen, let's try yours out.
31:21Okay.
31:21The fuck is a... sexy jutsu...
31:28Yeah, we're getting demonetized.
31:35What's going on?
31:36What's happened?
31:37Why do I feel sick?
31:38All right, guys. Here it is.
31:41The next big thing for the channel.
31:44My pitch for a brand new movie.
31:46Starring me, of course.
31:48You guys ready?
31:49I mean, do we have a choice?
31:50Ha ha ha!
31:51Uh, no.
31:52One man must rise above the urge.
31:58Oh, yeah.
31:59You're a dirty shark suit, aren't you?
32:02Shallot, what are you doing?
32:04What does it look like I'm doing, Kermit?
32:05I'm getting her wet.
32:07You're fucking what?
32:11This summer.
32:14But, Shallot, it's just a shark suit.
32:17Not to me!
32:18One man, one suit, one forpitted romance, 50 shades of shark.
32:29So, be honest.
32:31What do you think?
32:31I'll sign you for three films.
32:49Hey, Rex?
32:50Da!
32:51Can you help me break a friend out of prison?
32:53Da!
32:53Cool. You know it's a felony, right?
32:55Da!
32:56All right, cool. Cool.
32:57As long as we're on the same page.
32:58Hey, can I commit a felony?
33:00Sorry, Bon, but I need a master of disguise and espionage.
33:04That's Rex's specialty.
33:07What's with the bunny?
33:08Let's go break Shallot out of prison!
33:11Hold up.
33:12Did I just hear that you guys were going to break Shallot out of prison?
33:15Yes.
33:16Isn't Shallot one of the strongest in the DAU?
33:19Yes.
33:19And you expect me to believe that he was in prison?
33:25Yes.
33:25Okay. Continue.
33:28All right, Rex. You got the roller skates?
33:30Gah!
33:30Roller skates?
33:31Of course. To distract the guards with his mad roller skating skills.
33:35You're up next, Sal. Your job is the most important.
33:45While Rex distracts the guards with his roller skating, you are going to take this key and-
33:50Yeah, yeah. Use it to unlock the cell and-
33:52No, no. That's exactly what they'd expect you to do.
33:56You're going to have to dress as a pizza man and sneak the key in, Sal.
33:59Okay, that's easy. I'll hide it in the pizza.
34:02Stuffed crust, anyone?
34:04No, no. That's exactly what they'd expect you to do.
34:07So you're going to stuff the key in your ass instead.
34:10Fucking what?
34:11It's the only way, Sal.
34:12I'm not putting the key in my ass.
34:13It's the only way, Sal.
34:15I can hide it in the pizza.
34:17It's the only way, Sal.
34:20Teleportation!
34:21No, no. That's exactly what they'd expect you to do.
34:26I'm going to die, Joe.
34:27Oh, come on, Sal.
34:29Sal!
34:30Who else is going to save Charlotte from tax evasion?
34:34Sal!
34:34I should be like you, Mel.
34:38So, what's the plan?
34:39What do you mean, what's the plan?
34:41I thought we were going to go see the Dragon Ball movie.
34:43Oh, we are going to go see the new Dragon Ball movie.
34:45But what's the plan with him?
34:47Wow.
34:48Sorry, kid.
34:49It's going to be a bit past your bedtime.
34:52Don't worry, Junior.
34:53We'll catch it again in the morning.
34:55For now, you just need a babysitter.
34:57Oh, and I know just a guy.
35:03Huh.
35:04Must be sleeping.
35:05No worries.
35:06We always have plan B.
35:08Plan B?
35:08Kermit, let me do all the talking.
35:13You got it, Sal.
35:18Hello, Rex.
35:20Fight me.
35:21Very well.
35:22I, Perfect Sal, accept your challenge, Rex.
35:25I shall now proceed to transform.
35:28Please close your eyes.
35:30Ah!
35:30Hey.
35:36Who sends baby to fight?
35:38I don't know.
35:39But my dad told me to watch old Muppet videos with you while he's gone.
35:42So, like, are you actually a dinosaur?
35:54Da!
35:55Dope.
35:58It's nice.
36:00You fight!
36:01Well, I've never been in a real fight, but my uncle's been training me at-
36:05Fight me!
36:06What?
36:06Punch me in the face!
36:08Uh, yeah, no, I'm not gonna-
36:10Fight me!
36:12Are you sure?
36:13Hit me!
36:14Do it!
36:15No box!
36:18Hey, are you okay-
36:19Check it out, Sal.
36:25What's with the box?
36:26I, Kermit the Frog, have obtained something really, really, really cool off eBay.
36:32What the heck is it?
36:33Behold, Sal.
36:35The budget decrease gun.
36:38That looks like a normal gun to me.
36:40It's not.
36:41Pretty sure it is.
36:42It's not.
36:43I promise.
36:44I call bullshit.
36:45Sonic!
36:46Hey!
36:46What?
36:47Where the hell did you come from?
36:48Uh, hello?
36:49He's fast?
36:51Anyway, just pay attention.
36:53Sonic, I'ma shoot you now.
36:54Cool!
36:56Jesus fucking Christ, Kermit!
36:58Point blank!
36:59Relax, he's fine.
37:01What in the hell is that?
37:10Dear Christ!
37:12It even has music!
37:14Make it stop, make it stop!
37:16Kermit, don't you start dancing!
37:18Too late, Sal.
37:19Ugh, he runs like a complete dumbass.
37:22But his theme is dope.
37:24Kermit, this is cringe!
37:26Or, this is genius.
37:28Killing it!
37:31Ugh, you know, it's nice to finally get away from the arena and those psychopaths.
37:37You should enjoy it.
37:38You deserve it.
37:39Oh, I'm enjoying every second of it.
37:42They make my life a living hell.
37:44Hey, guys.
37:44What?
37:45Kermit!
37:46Hey, Sal.
37:46What are you doing here?
37:47I was just about to ask you the same thing.
37:50Got a new job here, actually.
37:52Since you're away from the arena and all, someone needs to pay the bills.
37:55Kermit, I've been gone for less than an hour!
37:57Could I interest you in the meatballs today, ma'am?
38:00That sounds lovely.
38:02I know what you're doing.
38:03Taking your order.
38:04What would you like, Sal?
38:06Kermit.
38:06Could I interest you in some pasta?
38:10I'll take the marinara.
38:12Sorry, Sal.
38:12We're out of marinara.
38:13Then I'll take the alfredo.
38:15We're out of that, too.
38:16Then I'll take any sauce that you have on the pasta.
38:19We're out of pasta, actually.
38:22Okay.
38:22Then I'll take a cheeseburger.
38:24Okie dokie.
38:25See you in a bit, Sal.
38:26You see what I mean?
38:28A living hell.
38:30I think they rather enjoy your company.
38:32You are perfect, after all.
38:35What they enjoy is torturing me.
38:37I think it's cute.
38:39Alrighty.
38:40The pasta with meatballs for you, ma'am.
38:42Oh, this looks wonderful.
38:45And for you, Sal, a cheeseburger.
38:47Oh, shit!
38:48Goddammit.
38:49We have a spill at table six.
38:51Yeah, I'm on my way.
38:52Hey, is that Sal?
38:54What's he doing here?
38:55That's what I said.
38:56Fucking hate you both.
38:58Alright, Rex.
38:59You're gonna come in.
39:00And you're gonna give me a giant bra
39:02right in Roshi's face.
39:04You understand?
39:05Duh!
39:06Okay, good.
39:07And action!
39:13RAR!
39:14Oh, Christ!
39:15Cut!
39:16Rex, what the hell was that?
39:19Roshi's actor.
39:20You call that acting?
39:21That is not acting.
39:23That was horrible.
39:24Take it from the top.
39:26Action!
39:27RAR!
39:28Fear me!
39:29Cut!
39:30Goddammit, Rex!
39:31I need you to be more aggressive.
39:34Like, I'm talking monstrous!
39:36Dammit, where did you find this guy?
39:38The budget couldn't afford the actual Godzilla cell, so I got Rex instead.
39:42He cost like three dollars.
39:44Action!
39:45I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire.
39:53Cut!
39:53Cut!
39:53Goddammit, that's fucking Star Wars, Rex!
39:57You are not Anakin Skywalker, goddammit!
40:00Say your damn line!
40:03What is Rex's line?
40:04It is a literal fucking roar!
40:06What is Rex's motivation?
40:09Motivation?
40:09You're a kaiju!
40:11You stop around, you destroy shit, and you roar!
40:15Rex need more motivation.
40:18More motiva...
40:19The director has threatened you with your life!
40:22That's good!
40:29Yes!
40:30Finally!
40:31Kermit!
40:32How was that?
40:33Fuck.
40:34Camera was off, Cell.
40:39First a cat in boots, and now a donkey?
40:42He just wants to talk, Cell.
40:44I'ma be real.
40:45I need to be part of the main cast, man.
40:47Excuse me?
40:49Wow.
40:50That's a big request.
40:51Why the hell should we do that?
40:53Come on, man.
40:53Without Shrek, I'm dead.
40:55This place crazy.
40:56I don't know, man.
40:57I mean, we already have a frog, a bug.
41:00Android.
41:00Android.
41:01And throwing in a donkey, it just throws off the vibes.
41:04I could be a great main character.
41:06Can you hold a gun?
41:07Come on, man.
41:07I got hooves.
41:08Can you blow up a planet?
41:10Hell no.
41:11And what can you do?
41:12I could f*** a dragon.
41:13Hey, yo.
41:14We stay the hell away from our dragon balls.
41:16The what?
41:17There's seven magical orbs that, when collected, summon a giant dragon.
41:21Don't tell him.
41:22Ooh.
41:23Can I f*** that dragon?
41:25What?
41:25No, you can't f*** the dragon.
41:27The dragon grants you a wish.
41:28But what if I wish to f*** the dragon?
41:30You can't f*** a dragon.
41:32Oh, it's very possible.
41:33I've done it before.
41:34Yeah, you're on your own, Cell.
41:35Excuse me.
41:38Hell no.
41:45I'm all alone.
41:47There's no one here beside me.
41:51Dear Lord, what the hell are these things?
42:04Wow, there's a couple of these guys, huh?
42:06I don't know what they are, but they all need to go now.
42:10Excuse me?
42:11Yeah.
42:12Hi.
42:13Perfect Cell?
42:14Owner of this arena?
42:15Yeah, I don't think they're going to enlist in Cell.
42:17Maybe we should talk to the leader.
42:19How the hell are we supposed to find out who's the leader?
42:21I don't know.
42:22Maybe the one with the Tims?
42:26Right.
42:26Everyone listen up!
42:28If you could please turn to your left and kindly f*** off in that direction, that would be fantastic.
42:38In an orderly fashion, if possible.
42:40Shut the f*** up, Shallon.
42:41You know, Cell, I'm only trying to help you.
42:44I don't need your help, man.
42:45I got this.
42:47Right.
42:48So you're actually going to fight them this time, then?
42:50Oh, so we're going there?
42:51Yeah, we are going there.
42:53You don't fight the people in your versus videos.
42:55But I thought Shaggy.
42:56Do you have any idea how boring it would be if I were to just casually murder every single
43:03one of my enemies in the span of 30 seconds?
43:06Actually, no, I get your point.
43:09Realistically, from a content longevity perspective, that would get boring pretty quickly if everyone
43:14just died in three seconds.
43:15You really must not get it.
43:17So let me show you.
43:19What?
43:19Who are you talking to?
43:20Oh, no!
43:22Comet's been kidnapped by the Empire and a bunch of f***ing random enemies in space.
43:28Wait, really?
43:28Yes, I gotta stop!
43:31Comet's what the hell are you doing?
43:32I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger.
43:36Like the laws of gravity.
43:40I'm a racing car passing on by like Lady Gandalf.
43:45I'm a vehicle, a vehicle.
43:47It's no stopping me.
43:50I'm burning through the sky, yeah.
43:52200 degrees, that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.
43:57I'm traveling at the speed of light.
43:59I don't want to make a supersonic man out of you.
44:09See what I mean?
44:10Cell, you killed everyone but them.
44:14Ah, f***.
44:29The Emperor demands the location of the Rebel base and the Jedi amongst your friends.
44:35Free Jedi scum!
44:36At ease.
44:38There is no Jedi.
44:40Lord, forgive me Lord Vader.
44:46Now then, you will tell me what you know.
44:49I won't tell you a thing!
44:51You cannot resist!
44:53Wow!
44:55Can I get that in green?
44:56Tell me the location of your allies.
44:59I'll tell you what, you let me borrow that for the weekend and I'll tell you the color of Luke Skywalker's underwear.
45:04I'm not interested in negotiation.
45:07What?
45:08The laser sword!
45:10Just the weekend.
45:11No.
45:12No, you can't borrow the local location of the allies!
45:16But, but I want to be a Jedi!
45:18Free Jedi scum!
45:25I will return once you've cleaned up this mess.
45:29Bye, Lord Vader!
45:31All right, I'm back.
45:38Huh?
45:39Uh, guys?
45:41What's with the ship?
45:42All right, so, follow me on this, okay?
45:45Okay.
45:46A big black guy.
45:47In a scuba suit.
45:48With a cape.
45:49With a cape.
45:50Kidnap Kermit.
45:53Okay, so what?
45:54Am I supposed to be responsible for his safety?
45:57Well, duh.
45:58He's your pet.
45:59That's kind of how it works.
46:01Didn't you save him last time?
46:02In a musical form, no less.
46:04Just do it again.
46:05Yeah, no, that's going to cost a fortune.
46:06Calling a friend.
46:07Holy shit.
46:14All right, Chief.
46:15We have a hostage situation.
46:17Kermit the Frog.
46:18Green scrawny bitch-made frog about this high.
46:22Sounds like he has a dick in his throat.
46:23Recon information tells us that he was kidnapped this morning by a big black guy in a scuba suit.
46:28With a cape.
46:29With a cape.
46:30And they're located on that big-ass ship.
46:32I need you to go over there, murder everyone in your path, and look badass while doing it.
46:39That's it.
46:40Wow.
46:41This guy's cocky.
46:43I'll be right back.
46:48Did he just-
46:49Yes.
46:50Yes, he fucking did.
46:56Hey, what time you get off?
46:58In about like five minutes.
46:59It's been a good last day.
47:00Man, in here I thought I wouldn't make it to retire.
47:20Wow, Vader.
47:21Did you really switch your suit just to mock me?
47:24You know what?
47:25Padamá, Padamá!
47:26Sal, do you really think one man is enough?
47:31That is not a man, Shalit.
47:34That's the fucking Master Chief.
47:46Mission accomplished.
47:47Mission accomplished.
47:53Oh no, it was done.
47:53We are.
47:55No, Mary.
47:57Mission accomplished.
48:09.
48:09Gracias por ver el video.
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