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Short filmTranscript
00:01You know, I never imagined I'd be kissing another man at my ex's engagement party.
00:17A thief.
00:23Stay calm.
00:24You should thank me for a taste testing for you. Last night you brought over that pasta.
00:38It tastes like that three year old bra that was just crispy and rigid.
00:45Come here.
00:47What the hell is going on here? Who the fuck is she?
00:50Are you blind? She's my girlfriend.
00:52So what the hell was I for the past three years?
00:55You're just a chef that smells like garlic.
00:58I mean, man eat your food, but hey, dream of my life.
01:03I mean, when was the last time you ever been bothered with me?
01:06You shut your mouth, you tramp!
01:09Hey! That's enough. Evelyn, I've never liked you, okay?
01:14Oh my god! See that on kitchen grease?
01:17Literally just makes me want to throw up right now.
01:19Your restaurant would have tanked ages ago without my menu.
01:23Yeah, but you're useless now.
01:26Cause we are a perfect match.
01:32Oh my god, he's still here.
01:33Evelyn, you are fired. Just, I never want to see you again.
01:37I'm the one firing you two.
01:39Assholes!
01:41Oh my, oh god!
01:45Assholes!
01:58Yes!
01:59Every penny I had, I spent on his stupid restaurant.
02:04I even kept my chef E-identity secret to spare his fragile ego.
02:09And for what? To be treated like garbage?
02:12Okay, you are not spending another second on that jerk!
02:18Get up! Get up! Come on!
02:19Turn around!
02:20The world is your voice.
02:28Stop pouting!
02:31It's time to play!
02:34I've been searching for three years.
02:46Where are you?
02:47And the winner is...
03:05Shecky!
03:14Shecky's in the lounge.
03:15She actually cured your anorexia!
03:17Sophie!
03:19Keila proposed!
03:21No, I think I'm gonna keep my chef E-identity secret for now.
03:23I'll still help him with his restaurant, just quietly.
03:38She's just behind this door.
03:45I think my drink's been spiked.
03:46Oh!
03:47Hey!
03:48You good?
03:49Yeah.
03:50Yeah.
03:51I think my drink's been spiked.
03:53Oh!
03:54Hey!
03:55You good?
03:56Yeah.
03:58I think my drink's been spiked.
04:07Hey! You good?
04:27Let's go.
04:52Heyo!
04:53Let's enjoy ourselves in the room I prepared
04:55just for us.
05:18Did it really get that wild last night?
05:25That...asshole!
05:27Oh, Caleb. Today is not your lucky day.
05:31Rot...in...hell.
05:33Keep the meeting. I'll make it in half an hour.
05:36That...asshole.
05:39Oh, Caleb. Today is not your lucky day.
05:42Rot in hell.
05:43Rocks in hell.
05:58Keep the meeting. I'll make it in half an hour.
06:04Hey, babe.
06:04What the hell did you do to my car?
06:13Oh, thank God. He doesn't recommend me.
06:17This is... this is your car?
06:21Look, I am so sorry.
06:24Um, wrong car.
06:26Yeah, classic mix-up. I'll pay for the damages. Just let me know how much it is.
06:31That'll be 50 grand for a repaint. Cash or check?
06:3550 grand? Why don't you just mug me instead?
06:38I don't have time for this. The cops can deal with this mess. Sound good?
06:41Cops! No! No! Don't call the cops! Don't call the cops!
06:44Hello? Yeah, I'd like to report property damage.
06:46Please don't call the cops!
06:47Hey!
06:50What the hell are you doing?
06:52Go ahead.
06:54Call the cops. I'd love for them to see this.
06:56Oh, was that a threat?
06:57No, no, no, no. I'm just... negotiating.
07:01I'm in a hurry.
07:03Take this off me, and I'll let you go.
07:05And I don't have to pay?
07:06Before I change my mind.
07:07Okay, okay, okay.
07:08Come on.
07:15I might not have the key in it.
07:24Seriously? We're not gonna take these off first?
07:26No time. Just follow my lead, and do not act weird.
07:32Ah, Mr. Carter.
07:36We are thrilled at the thought of you buying us out, huh?
07:42And, um, who might this be?
07:44This is my personal assistant.
07:47Oh.
07:48Hi.
07:49Hi.
07:54We're doing a little corporate bonding thing.
07:57Okay.
07:59Bonding, huh?
08:00That's quite the progressive bonding exercise, isn't it?
08:10Mr. Carter, I paid top dollar for Chef E's exclusive recipe.
08:23I think that would be worth an extra ten points on the offer, wouldn't it?
08:25Chef E.
08:26Chef E.
08:28That's right.
08:29Carter's been chasing Chef E forever. This sale is locked.
08:32It's not Chef E's recipe.
08:34What?
08:36I'm sorry. Mr. Carter, they're pulling a fast one on you.
08:38This is the exact recipe Chef E made at the Culinary workshop.
08:40I know it's very hard.
08:41I know I'm seeing a lot of water at the moment, right?
08:43And I'm seeing a lot of water.
08:44Oh, I'll see you.
08:45I know I'm seeing a lot of water at the time.
08:46not Chef E's recipe. What? I'm sorry, Mr. Carter, they're pulling a fast one on you.
08:52This is the exact recipe Chef E made at the Culinary Championship. It's identical.
09:08Yeah, Chef E would never use truffle oil in this dish. It kills the fish's natural umami.
09:13And FYI, Chef E doesn't write anything down. All the recipes live in her head.
09:19If they're only in her head, how would you know?
09:27So what's the deal with you and Chef E? I am Chef E, dummy. Just a fan.
09:33God lucky enough to chat about recipes with her once. Boss!
09:43It's just a lock. Why the entire circus?
09:47I heard you're in handcuffs, so I brought a lawyer. And a locksmith. And his mentor. Just in case.
09:55What about that guy?
09:57Oh, I'm just here for the spectacle.
10:01Don't mind me.
10:14I will take those.
10:17Okay. You know, I saved you money back there. That'll be my compensation.
10:23Fine. Later.
10:24Pause. Who's she?
10:38Cheers, guys. Cheers.
10:43Oh god. Ellen, I've already fired you. What are you doing here?
10:47Everything that worked about this restaurant was my creation. I'm taking my 50% share.
10:52Cheers.
10:56Oh! As if you were there.
11:00You only became head chef thanks to Caleb. You were nothing.
11:03I kept my Chef E identity secret to protect your fragile ego, which clearly was wasted on you.
11:10You're Chef E?
11:14Okay, so you're pretending to be Chef E when the real prodigy Madeline is right here?
11:22That's seriously hilarious. Oh my god, you're funny.
11:26Well, how did Evelyn, Caleb breaks up with you and you go into a full psychotic break?
11:31I mean, behold this face, people. Scared's kiss would burn him into sterility.
11:36I mean, who would get excited about this package, right?
11:38You should beat it now, because it's my garbage can.
11:40I want you to take trash like you, so.
11:41Okay, now about this. Let's not let this psycho spoil our day.
11:46Oh, I'm sorry.
11:47Madeline, darling.
11:51Will you marry me?
11:52Oh my god, I wasn't expecting this.
11:57Yeah, I do.
11:59Oh my god, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
12:08See, Evelyn? Caleb clearly loves me, so he can stop obsessing over him.
12:14What? Congratulations, you snagged an absolute jab.
12:19You know, my new guy is hotter, richer, and way more impressive.
12:24Where it counts.
12:25Hey, what are you implying?
12:28Evelyn, did you really invent a boyfriend to make yourself feel better?
12:31Right, I mean, if he's real, where is it?
12:33Show us.
12:34Oh my god.
12:36Fantastic, where do I magically whip up a boyfriend? From my rib?
12:41This is sad. Caleb rejects her, so she comes up with this pathetic story.
12:47You know what, Evelyn, just, just go. I mean, at this point, you're just humiliating yourself.
12:52I mean, I'm sorry for you.
12:53Why don't you use that cash for some, um, therapy?
13:01He's right there.
13:06Mr. Carter, what's Carter Group's strategy this year?
13:08We are acquiring 10 premium restaurants to establish.
13:11The most powerful man in the city.
13:29Bombshell.
13:30The Carter Group's CEO has a public kiss with an unknown woman?
13:33That's literally the most powerful man in the city. There's zero chance he's dating Evelyn.
13:42You better have a good reason for this.
13:43I'm so sorry, please just help me out.
13:45Mr. Carter, what's your relationship with this woman?
13:48I will go out.
13:49I will go out.
13:53She's my fiance.
14:02Any other questions?
14:06Okay, but you could have said girlfriend, I mean why go full fiancé?
14:13Girlfriend? A new CEO caught in a public scandal, what do you think that does to my company's value?
14:17Well, people love a young couple in love. I mean that kind of press could give you a bump.
14:23Your people? Maybe. Mine? Not so forgiving.
14:27That could wipe out $300 million in market value. Can you cover that?
14:31What?
14:32Exactly. Calling you my fiancé is the only way to make this little kiss look like a PR move instead of chaos.
14:39Okay, so what do we do? Tell them all the truth?
14:42Sure. Yeah, we can clear it all up. If you're ready to write a $300 million check.
14:48There's gotta be another option.
14:52There is.
14:54Which is?
14:56Marry me.
15:02Contract marriage. Divorce after one year. Your bedroom is down the hall, on the left.
15:10Fine. You corporate vulture.
15:13Being my wife comes with specific duties.
15:15And what are these duties?
15:19All of this is... for me?
15:34Naturally.
15:36Consider it an investment in making sure you look the part of my wife.
15:40For your everyday spending. No limit on this card.
15:46No, I can't accept that. This is a business deal. Between equals.
15:52Consider it a wedding gift.
15:56Fine.
16:00If you insist.
16:10Fine.
16:11Fine.
16:12Fine.
16:13Fine.
16:14Fine.
16:15Fine.
16:16Fine.
16:17Fine.
16:18Fine.
16:19Fine.
16:20Fine.
16:21Fine.
16:22Fine.
16:23Fine.
16:24Fine.
16:25Fine.
16:26Fine.
16:27Fine.
16:28Fine.
16:29Fine.
16:30Fine.
16:31Fine.
16:32Fine.
16:33Fine.
16:34Fine.
16:35Fine.
16:36Fine.
16:37Fine.
16:38Fine.
16:39Fine.
16:40wrong room sorry so sorry oh my god i will leave right now
16:56geez what is with the attitude it's nothing i haven't seen before
17:03what did you just say nothing nothing just sleep talking sweet dreams
17:10too many mishaps last night but what better apology from a culinary genius than breakfast
17:31hey i i made you breakfast no thanks what you didn't even take a single bite that's disrespectful
17:43to the food and the chef this isn't about respect i've struggled with severe anorexia which is why
17:48i have someone who handles my breakfast anorexia oh is that so hard to believe
17:53i'm so sorry i just had no idea everything in your life just seems so perfect and put together
18:04guess everyone has their struggles huh even someone together like me has their problems
18:09now if you which is if you don't move i will be late please just take one bite
18:15just one bite and then i'll let you go i promise please
18:23see that's not
18:36well what do you think not bad
18:40didn't you say you were running late i can make time for breakfast well then bon appetit
18:59where are you going didn't you say you're gonna join me for breakfast
19:02no it's my first day on the new job can't be late but here's the address
19:07come bye sometime wait isn't this the restaurant i just acquired
19:19this can't be happening leo married somebody
19:28the bitch from that night i'm going to see leo right now
19:31so i have the hottest gossip the boss's new wife is visiting today no way i wonder what
19:44she looks like the news clip only showed her profiles it's totally unclear right okay what kind
19:48of dumb ass comment is that the boss's wife is gorgeous she's the boss's wife just be on your toes
19:54and you treat her like royalty
20:03oh no need for the formality i'm just the head chef what are you doing in the dining room you are
20:09breaking company protocol just ugh get to work asap boom
20:24i'm looking for leo this must be her oh welcome mrs carter
20:35they think i'm leo's wife
20:42don't make a fuss just call me jennifer jennifer absolutely of course was that the new head chef
20:48who just walked by indeed funny how life works out that way isn't it you're both similar in age yet
20:54worlds apart in status you're the boss's new wife and she's stuck in the kitchen cooking
21:04oh no comparison whatsoever jennifer right mr carter isn't in today but we'll ensure top-notch service
21:15absolutely you and the boss are totally made for each other of course i'm the only woman suitable to be mrs carter
21:31i'm so happy that leo finally settled down do you think his wife will appreciate these gifts
21:38yes perhaps two more villas too mr carter never mentioned evelyn what if she is simply after his money
21:51you're right perhaps i should get to know her personally
21:54oh my goodness are you okay
22:10i haven't eaten may i have some soup yeah of course yeah come with me
22:14order anything you'd like it's on me thank you you're so kind all happy
22:25what do you think you're doing this is a fine dining restaurant you can't bring in homeless people
22:30get her out now no you can't do this she needs our help that's her problem this is a restaurant not a
22:37charity what kind of standard is this for treating guests every human being deserves the right to a
22:41proper meal oh please save your bleeding heart look at the new chef thinking she owns the place
22:49bringing in street people our clientele are people of good standing having this vagabond around will
22:55just hurt our reputation did you hear that hurry up and make her leave her word is all around here
23:01hold on who's the boss's wife here uh excuse me has age ruined your eyes and ears this is our boss's
23:08wife mrs carter oh jennifer why are they referring to her as the boss's wife i thought evelyn held that title
23:22okay just because you're the boss's wife that doesn't mean you get to humiliate people
23:26we're all equals here
23:27as the boss's wife i am superior to the grubby chef in you dirty street trash oh did you hear that evelyn
23:41or do you want to join this piece of trash out on the street so these are the employees at my
23:46grandson's restaurant their behavior is disgraceful
23:50what grandma's at the restaurant yes mrs carter somehow discovered miss taylor's new position as
23:58head chef and well she wanted to see for herself evelyn please don't slip up in front of my grandmother
24:06this woman just wants some food she won't disturb anyone her mere presence spreads the stench of poverty
24:13who would like to dine with her around remove this beggar at once or consider yourself terminated
24:19garbage chef and homeless trash you two deserve each other okay this is outrageous with staff like
24:25you this restaurant is doomed i'll make sure headquarters knows exactly what happened here
24:30report us you insignificant nothing you're fired
24:36you're the one that needs to be fired
24:42fire me it's rich coming from someone who looks like they sleep in a cardboard box
24:48maybe she bumped her head and thought she was the ceo's granny oh poor thing
24:54you seriously don't know who jennifer is to the owner and you're trying to fire her that's comedy
25:00gold her wiring is uh clearly fried broke and insane now that's hilarious that's enough
25:06i'm taking you somewhere decent awesome hit the streets together maybe you'll gather up enough
25:11change for a hot dog they should all leave you stubborn hag get them out of here now
25:22dare you touch me the audacity you lunatic you just assaulted him forget leaving you're going
25:29straight to prison don't twist this you attacked us first precisely you people are a complete
25:35embarrassment to this company
25:41you needed a reality check what the hell you psycho
25:45bitch stop
25:47leo this psycho grandma is terrorizing your restaurant call the police now yes that's right
26:04street trash has no place in this restaurant does everyone here feel the same way oh mr
26:09carter don't you worry i'll remove these people at once shut up there will be zero discrimination in
26:15any carter establishment you are done here evelyn is in charge from now on
26:21hold on leo owns this place mr carter i was just following mrs carter's words you know your wife
26:29she's my wife wow that is news to me get this straight everyone
26:35everyone evelyn is my wife she she she she's your wife oh hold up you lied to us i didn't say anything
26:48you jumped to conclusion yeah but you never denied it not even once we are so bad we just insulted the
26:54real mrs carter everyone apologized to her now we are so sorry so sorry
27:00leo you want me to apologize to street trash that's humiliating throw her out you were banned from
27:08this restaurant come on leo you can't do this to me come on let's go
27:19grandma are you okay grandma
27:22i'm sorry i didn't realize you were leo's grandmother
27:32evelyn you really are a lovely young woman and you suit leo well
27:39i'm gonna have nick drive me home then i'm gonna grab a few things and i'm gonna stay at your place for a
27:45bit grandma that's not uh that's not necessary we're screwed she's totally gonna find out about
27:54her big marriage get it together ebelin we need to get home and get ready now
28:05oh ma'am you should probably keep your seatbelt on are those two just playing house for my sake
28:11uh miss carter what would give you that idea their interactions seem rehearsed impossible i mean
28:19these two are head over heels for each other is that so absolutely 100 i mean they are amazing
28:26together i mean i have a front row seat well i really like evelyn i really think that she's what
28:33leo needs to find real happiness boss for the love of god don't you and miss taylor screw this up
28:41oh hurry your grandma's almost here she's not going to barge in my bedroom
28:51oh my god could you please put something on
29:01great now it looks like a real couple's bedroom you know after a tornado
29:11so how did you two find each other we met at a bar
29:27one of those bar one of those bar restaurant combos you know oh yes and um how long have you been
29:38together three months your answers what we mean is we met six months ago but we became a couple
29:54three months ago yeah actually i've had a crush on her for a very long time
30:09evelyn fell asleep in my guest room so i thought i'd return her to you
30:24what's going on you order i fell asleep in the wrong bedroom you make a habit of ending up in the
30:29wrong room don't you i know i know my fault i will sleep on the floor happy
30:36i wondered if you wanted some warm milk before bed but i'll let you be
30:48don't move
31:04almost
31:14you know your heart's racing
31:18oh grandma might pop in at any second sleeping separately would blow our cover immediately
31:26are you sure
31:31relax i won't try anything yeah like i was worried about that
31:42got it got it
31:48you like what you feel
32:13you like what are you doing
32:25don't you want this
32:26don't you want this
32:28don't you want this
32:34emilyn
32:42emilyn
32:43emilyn
32:45you really shouldn't be em
32:47emilyn wake up
32:54i'm dead
32:59dear god
32:59why would i dream something like that
33:02sorry
33:02so sorry i had a nightmare a horrible one i was a nightmare with drool
33:09stop messing with me
33:11let's call it even for the slap
33:13and what were you dreaming about exactly you nearly suffocated me
33:17i dreamed you were stripping and tempting me
33:19not exactly conversation material i was dreaming about an excellent cuisine
33:28so not a nightmare
33:30unless you thought you were a vampire
33:32i did that
33:36that's that's really bad
33:37look i have work later
33:39how am i supposed to show up like this
33:40i could give you a scar
33:41i don't wear scarves
33:43what about some makeup
33:44i have a really good concealer
33:45i think that would be uncomfortable
33:47you're impossible
33:48figure it out yourself
33:49are you sure about that
33:51bite me
33:54sure
34:02wait wait wait i thought
34:04i thought this was just a business deal
34:08come on don't you want this
34:20are you up breakfast is ready
34:29what is wrong with me
34:32where are you going at this hour
34:47uh evelyn's still not home and it's getting late
34:50i'm just gonna pick her up
34:52so when did you become so thoughtful
34:55she's my wife i should take care of her right well keep telling yourself that but those
35:02heart eyes aren't fooling anyone
35:06am i actually in love with her
35:16she's my wife
35:23what the hell
35:24look at this
35:26oh the untouchable new chef no spear after all
35:30are you insane
35:31are you insane
35:31you ruined me
35:33i lost my job because of you
35:36and now i can't get work anywhere
35:38so it is time for some payback
35:41don't you think
35:42no let me go please
35:44help help
35:45no one is coming for you in this hour
35:47just shut up
35:58you got a death wish
35:59no stop
36:04he's not worth it
36:09you hurt your hand
36:12get anywhere near evelyn again i'll make sure you vanish for good
36:17come on let's get inside
36:18okay
36:24it's nothing i'm fine
36:26sit down
36:36what
36:37nothing
36:38you just look stunning right now
36:44i'm so sorry i'll be gentle
36:49there
36:49there
36:50i'll die
37:00what
37:04evelyn
37:07i want to end our arrangement
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