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  • 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00I don't wanna go up solo loco, don't you wanna come with me like you're cold
00:17We can go and use ourselves in Tokyo and Tokyo, but now we'll move like a fake
00:20Don't you wanna come with me? Don't you wanna come and seize?
00:24We only live once only, don't you wanna be free?
00:30Inhale, mountain pose
00:35Inhale, crescent lunge
00:38Exhale, warrior two
00:45Is this relaxing, Abby? Bro, I'm dying
00:48I'm trying to transcend here
00:50Okay, well, tell me something juicy so I can transcend this boredom
00:57Brody and I can't stop fighting
00:59I feel like he's pulling away
01:02Okay, how much longer are you gonna namaste with that walking red flag?
01:06Shhh
01:08Shhh
01:11The man's a whole parade
01:13I think he's just stressed about like the draft camp
01:22I mean he loves me, he just has a hard time showing it
01:26Oh hell no
01:33Brody Matthews, get your ass in here right now!
01:37Brody Matthews, get your ass in here right now!
01:40You lying, cheating son of a bitch!
01:44I mean, ow!
01:45Jesus
01:46I'm sensing a lot of negative energy here
01:49I'm his girlfriend
01:50Well, X now
01:52Okay, so maybe I went off the man into the bedroom with Al
01:55Oops, but let's face it, babe
01:57Aw, you and I haven't been committed in a very, very long time
02:02Okay, okay, okay
02:05Let's take a calming deep breath and get the heck out of here
02:08Don't follow us!
02:10Pig
02:11You're dead to me, asshole
02:13I'm gonna make your life a living hell
02:15Playboys
02:16I don't wanna be your play toy
02:18Don't you know that I'm so much more than a centerfold
02:26Delulu
02:30Yeah
02:32Come on, let's run away
02:37Everybody wants a little bit of sweet escape, babe
02:40Be like a holiday
02:42Don't matter where I am as long as you're with me
02:44If only we
02:46Summer is finally here at the Banting Ice House
02:49And we're feeling hot, hot, hot!
02:51So, who's ready to make bad decisions when we're good but in time?
03:07Your first frat party at the Ice House without him attached with a head
03:10You are one step closer from officially moving on from that mysteriously hot asshole
03:15Oh shit, did he see me?
03:19Okay, be honest
03:21Are they kissing?
03:23Like, does he look really into her? What's going on?
03:25Um, they're like six inches apart
03:30I'm looking
03:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no
03:34Oh, Moe
03:36I've never gotten less than an A in anything
03:38And now my first real relationship? Straight fail
03:41Today I'm gonna do everything I can to forget about that pink rat
03:46Excellent
03:48Now let's get you laid
03:50Excuse me, hot sir
03:52Are you single and are you more of a brunette?
03:54Or a blonde?
03:55We got your back, don't need to worry about the unbound
03:58If only we could live our lives like this
04:02Forever, every day
04:03We'd only have the time for what is bliss
04:07Sometimes we gotta play
04:09Yeah, you know it's getting hot
04:12You know we're about to drop, drop, bounce and drop, drop
04:16We're about to drop
04:18Is, uh, something on your mind, bro? Or, uh, someone maybe?
04:22Name someone on campus more gorgeous than Abby Hawthorne
04:25Go ahead, I'll wait
04:26Dude, Richards, are you crushing on Brody's girl right now?
04:30Ex-girlfriend, word is he cheated on Abby with his fucking yogi
04:35That absolute douche had her and cheated? Unreal
04:39Tyler, NHL pre-draft cam starts tomorrow
04:42Now is not the time to throw in your brand of chaos
04:44Plus, Brody Matthews would end you on and off the ice
04:52Do it
05:11Ok, we know you've been skating on thin ice
05:13Nice, all these other guys here.
05:16Just take a chance on me.
05:17Hi.
05:18I'm DJ Slapshot, but tonight I'm DJ Slav yours.
05:20I think it's better for his friends.
05:22Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
05:24Yeah, babe.
05:25Jump out in this pool of chance envy.
05:31Come on.
05:34Hey, she's not here for you tonight, bud.
05:36As is.
05:37As is with me tonight, so.
05:38Whoa!
05:43Babe, I'm sorry.
05:47All I had was warm beer.
05:49You know, we have got to stop coming to these frat parties at the Ice House.
05:52So uncivilized.
05:54Tyler Richards, if Brody sees you talking to me.
05:57You can eat shit for what he did to you.
06:00I'd never.
06:03Sorry, I should probably run off shut.
06:05No, it's okay.
06:07Keep talking.
06:09What?
06:14Fucking God.
06:16What?
06:17Uh, nothing.
06:21Abby!
06:27I got you.
06:28I got you.
06:38One second.
06:48What the hell do you think you're doing with her, bud?
06:51Whatever she'll love me.
06:54You cannot talk to him.
06:55You cheated.
06:56We broke up.
06:57And now...
07:01We're dating.
07:04Yeah.
07:05Tyler Richards' girlfriend, though.
07:08Excuse me.
07:09Well, Tyler's just a puck bunny chaser.
07:11You don't gotta lower your standards to get back in the abs.
07:13Undercoming.
07:14Yeah, that's big talk.
07:15Coming from somebody who's sloppy skating landed me with a broken collarbone last season.
07:19Yeah, we'll see how well you do on the ice tomorrow with your daddy.
07:22What'd you say?
07:25Oh.
07:26Everybody knows Coach Richards is Tyler's daddy, right?
07:29That's the only reason he got invited to the draft camp.
07:32Get fucked, Brody.
07:34Tyler's record puts yours to shame.
07:36Oh, that's rigged, sweetheart.
07:39Tyler's just a little neppo baby, hmm?
07:42Better grab a mop and start cleaning up my sloppy sack.
07:44Sloppy sack.
07:57I'll see you in the ice, you motherfucker!
08:14Give it...
08:17Give you...
08:19Give it to me...
08:20Give it to me...
08:23Give it to me...
08:24Give it to me...
08:28Yeah!
08:32Yeah!
08:33Look at that, boys!
08:35Look at that boys!
08:37Day one.
08:39And welcome to our elite camp.
08:43A team of scouts have brought together some of the best college players in the country.
08:47Now, you're all fighting for that coveted spot in the pros.
08:53For the next two weeks, you'll be pushed harder than ever.
08:57Brutal drills.
08:59Conditioning.
09:01And I don't want any fucking excuses!
09:05It all leads to a three-on-three showcase in front of scouts.
09:11Who want to see you think fast.
09:13And execute plays.
09:15Three-on-three isn't hockey.
09:17It's survival. You choke, you're out.
09:21So don't let anything distract you while you're here.
09:27Who's hungry?
09:29Come on. I'm fucking hungry!
09:31You got a ticket, babe?
09:33What the fuck is she doing here?
09:35You're a little early. You can take off my skates in five minutes.
09:37No, she's here for me.
09:39Oh, shit.
09:41Okay. Cool.
09:43Whoa.
09:45What the fuck is she doing?
09:47It's not touchy fucking.
09:49What the fuck is she doing?
09:51I don't feel coffee.
10:13Hey. So, I've been thinking.
10:15Right, one of us does.
10:17I like it. The whole fake dating thing.
10:20Fake? Yeah.
10:22Brody's an asshole.
10:24He deserves all the hurt that's coming to him.
10:28And I'll help you get the draft spot.
10:30And how exactly do you plan on doing that?
10:33Well, my dream is to work in politics,
10:35so think of your pre-draft camp as my campaign trial.
10:40You take down Brody, we both win.
10:42Translation?
10:44I'll be your fake girlfriend, destroy Brody's life,
10:48and then you get the draft spot.
10:50So, where to first?
10:53The Ice House is hosting a kickoff for their elite camp
10:56at the frat house tonight.
10:58We'll be there for sure.
10:59Mmm, go for the jugular. I like it.
11:02Well, fake dating so hard his head's spayed.
11:05Ready?
11:07Nuke!
11:09Ami.
11:10I, still I can't forget
11:13Why as you kiss my neck
11:17I, still I can't forget
11:21As you kiss my neck
11:23Make me cry
11:24Abby!
11:25I, here to come
11:28Diving on to Nuts
11:30I, here to come
11:32I, here to come
11:35I, here to come
11:40Here we go, we're about to go harder than a slap shot.
12:06Ready?
12:07No!
12:08No!
12:09No!
12:10No!
12:11No!
12:12No!
12:13No!
12:14No!
12:15No!
12:16No!
12:17No!
12:18No!
12:19No!
12:20No!
12:21Whatever happens at the end of camp, remember we're all on the same team.
12:26Yeah!
12:27We're brothers.
12:28Yeah!
12:29Yeah!
12:30Those are toasting steal each other's girls, right?
12:33Donate the player.
12:34Abby made her choice and she chose me.
12:35Right out of the trash right after I dumped her fucking ass.
12:38Nice!
12:39You better watch your fucking back Richards!
12:44Especially on the ice.
12:45Hey by the way, how's that collarbone?
12:47You know what?
12:48You're gonna be begging to warm my bench and if you're nice I'll let you sharpen my blades
12:53you dusty piece of shit.
12:54Yeah!
12:59Kiss my fucking ass!
13:00One shot.
13:01Let's go, let's go.
13:02It's working.
13:03He's 100% rattled.
13:04Yeah.
13:05So what's next?
13:06Step one.
13:07Break the ice.
13:08Break his game.
13:09Brody's a control freak.
13:11You have to crack him.
13:12Mess with his head?
13:13Your chances at pro go straight up.
13:15He's watching.
13:16Wow.
13:17Then let's give him something worth freaking out about, shall we?
13:22I'll make my mind hazy.
13:23I know it sounds crazy but maybe we could be a thing.
13:34I'll give it one shot.
13:37Make it hard show me what kill brain.
13:40No, no, don't take care for that.
13:42Brody's a control freak.
13:43Brody's a control freak.
13:44You have to crack him.
13:45Mess with his head, your chances at pro go straight up.
13:48He's watching.
13:50Watch the hoe!
14:20friends no more whenever my eyes if you race that's go one go one hot gotta shoot your shot
14:24better make a start give it all you got
14:26hey this isn't you abby you're embarrassing yourself focus on your relationship with
14:38little miss lululemon over there and leave me and tyler alone you don't belong with him you and i
14:44are gonna end up together after all this right we're just experimenting with other people
14:47until i make it to the nhl and you pop out our kids i lose you in like a hot way or ew party's over
14:59tyler's looking for you abstain i'm not your dog
15:17we need one for the gram we should make this officially official
15:44wow brody never posted a single photo of us in almost four years of dating
15:50yeah i'm not him not even close
15:54okay
15:57how's that
16:01nah too tame
16:03what did you have in mind
16:05you ready
16:07how was that
16:33i liked it
16:35i don't know the picture
16:37let's go let's go
16:41i'm gonna go practice all right
16:47come on coach
16:53oh
16:59you know we don't play stay out the way check out this look on my face i'll come save today
17:01give me my cake look at i'm flying away
17:03five star cream but a cop going main spot going put the cherry on top
17:07this one can't be stocked get a little shot it's really like that don't believe me just watch
17:11Get them all in.
17:26We've got 30 seconds.
17:32Go!
17:36You use an abby to get to me?
17:40You think I'm fucking stupid, Richard?
17:42Is that a trick question?
17:45Tyler Brody, bitch, now!
17:47Tell this to your daddy.
18:01I'm all kinds of bad when I drop on the beat.
18:05Taking down my hair, got your eyes on me.
18:09You need it, you want it, but can you handle this?
18:13This lollipop is popping, popping, popping, pop this lollipop is...
18:17This lollipop is...
18:25Step three, expose his weakness.
18:37Brody thrives off his ego.
18:39So, let's tear it apart.
18:42Copy that.
18:42What's up, boys?
19:00Hey, boys.
19:02Tyler, we're working out today, right?
19:17Yes.
19:21Like this, right?
19:22Yeah, yeah.
19:28Am I doing it right?
19:30Can you help me?
19:30Yeah, closer, closer.
19:31Okay.
19:32Feel that?
19:33Yeah.
19:34Yeah, nice and easy.
19:34God, I swear, Tyler, you're looking huge.
19:38Bigger than I've ever seen.
19:41Abby, you need a break?
19:43No.
19:43Well, let's keep pushing.
19:47I'm just going to handle this.
19:49It's too slow.
19:50Damn, Brody.
19:51Wow.
19:52Sounds like you're snacking while he's munching.
19:56Oh, yeah, that's fucking funny.
19:59We'll see who's better at the end of camp, boys.
20:01Keep on laughing, huh?
20:02Oh, yeah.
20:02Keep on laughing.
20:03I already know who's better.
20:07And bigger.
20:08We'll do it.
20:09I'm all kinds of bad when I drop on the beat.
20:13Taking down my hair, got your eyes on me.
20:17This lollipop is popping.
20:19This lollipop is popping.
20:21This lollipop is popping.
20:22Popping, popping, popping, popping, popping.
20:26Get Salty TV to enjoy your drama feast.

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