- 2 days ago
They followed the rules—until life broke them. Witness how innocence turns to chaos in this explosive drama of friendship, betrayal, and finding freedom. Stay till the end—you won’t believe what happens.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Music
00:00:09Music
00:00:10Music
00:00:13Music
00:00:21Oh, Dad.
00:00:35Hello?
00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:59What?
00:01:00But you can't.
00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:09This is bad.
00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:17Come on, Lexi.
00:01:35So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:42But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:45I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:01:49But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:55Mushrooms?
00:01:56No, not like that.
00:01:58Like something nice.
00:01:59Like maybe a trip.
00:02:01Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:03Sorry, Sue.
00:02:06I have a date.
00:02:07Oh, so do I.
00:02:10Sorry, Sue.
00:02:11Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:12We'll figure it out.
00:02:24Oh, flowers.
00:02:25Are these from you?
00:02:26Yeah, sure.
00:02:28Here you go.
00:02:29No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:33I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:36I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:41Oh, Jake.
00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:49Uh, no, Jake.
00:02:49Not yet.
00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:53The best night of my life.
00:02:54It will be.
00:02:55I promise.
00:02:57It'll always be amazing.
00:02:58With you and me.
00:03:00Together.
00:03:08Jake, no.
00:03:09I have to go.
00:03:10I have to work on my art project.
00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:17Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:21This Saturday?
00:03:22Of course.
00:03:27Thanks.
00:03:29Okay.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:39Oh, baby.
00:03:42You're so hot.
00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:46What was your name again?
00:03:47Rah.
00:03:48Sex guy.
00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:58You're right, I bet.
00:04:05Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:09Oh, no.
00:04:10Does not compute.
00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:14Oh, huh.
00:04:18Hi.
00:04:21When did you get home?
00:04:22So is it true?
00:04:23Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:28I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:36So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:38Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:43On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday, like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:04:58I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:16Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:19It's not Jake.
00:05:21It's the male ideal, like a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:27Right.
00:05:29Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:32I'm not really an artist.
00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day, and I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:41But I'm waiting for a sign, and then I'll know it's right.
00:05:44Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:06Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:12To church, to pray for you.
00:06:14I want to be first in line.
00:06:17I'm getting this.
00:06:18Yeah, me too.
00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:34Mm-hmm.
00:06:36Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:42Mm-hmm.
00:06:44I mean, not me.
00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:48Mm-hmm.
00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:52Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:59But there was nothing there.
00:07:01Mm-hmm.
00:07:02Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My best friends.
00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:09Okay.
00:07:11Third base.
00:07:12What?
00:07:13No.
00:07:14Like, sex.
00:07:15Like, intercourse?
00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention, if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:23Go all the way.
00:07:25What are you...
00:07:26What?
00:07:26Ah!
00:07:29Ah!
00:07:30How could you do so?
00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:36What?
00:07:37Yes.
00:07:43Yes!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:45Run!
00:07:46Home route!
00:07:48Ah!
00:07:49Damn it!
00:07:51Oh, fucking Yankees.
00:07:54Sorry.
00:07:55Sorry.
00:08:07Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:27I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:34This weekend.
00:08:35On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:08:44You know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:48You do.
00:08:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:57Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party, and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:12Hey, Frank.
00:09:22Hi, Sue.
00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah.
00:09:29He's blind.
00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:37Wait, wait.
00:09:37Bye.
00:09:37I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthday.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:47Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep,
00:10:09because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake,
00:10:14and I'll probably do that guy, Rod.
00:10:17But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair?
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years,
00:10:22ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:42Sue, you, um,
00:10:45might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:48No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber,
00:11:07with a little bit of Zac Efron
00:11:09and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:10Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:27I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30I knew it would happen.
00:12:00You're so perfect.
00:12:01You're so perfect.
00:12:30I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:52Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:55Tomorrow's the day.
00:12:56Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:09Oh, my gosh.
00:13:32They're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:35Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm going to surprise you.
00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55I don't have your mouth, too.
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:14:08Seriously, come on.
00:14:09Hurry up.
00:14:09Oh, the cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:19You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's really...
00:14:21Very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Okay.
00:14:23Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:28Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:30Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:39Whoa, is this part of the top?
00:14:51Whoa!
00:14:52Hold up.
00:14:54Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:56Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.
00:14:57Nice!
00:14:58Nice!
00:14:58Nice!
00:15:03Check, check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex!
00:15:09Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:29Buster, such a beauty.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:34All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:37See you later.
00:15:39I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Oh, wait, I got it.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, Ben.
00:15:48Happy birthday.
00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:02Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:03I have your present here.
00:16:07I'll give it to you later when the time's right.
00:16:10Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:14And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:33Check it out.
00:16:44Dare me.
00:16:44Oh, dude, look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05Ah, dude, move!
00:17:06Come on, lame!
00:17:07Oh, all right.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the move!
00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.
00:17:16Yeah!
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:23Who cares?
00:17:24Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36It's not.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:44I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:48Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:49I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:50It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:03Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:07How come I've been up here before?
00:18:09I don't know.
00:18:10Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where you went.
00:18:23Go roll.
00:18:26Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:29Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:38I gotta go meet her dad.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just nice.
00:18:47Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49It's gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:50Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:59No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm gonna do it.
00:19:09Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:12No, he does not have gateways.
00:19:15I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm gonna do it.
00:19:17Okay, I'm gonna do this.
00:19:19Good luck.
00:19:22Hey, you can do this.
00:19:24Just act like a slut.
00:19:28Just pretend...
00:19:30You're Lex.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Gmore.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:42Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:45Uh-huh.
00:19:45Um, in private?
00:19:48Oh.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02Hey, Lexi.
00:20:03What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:06You're so sexy.
00:20:09Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:12I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:13And I really want to...
00:20:16Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:20Is that wrong?
00:20:21Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:23Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:24I don't know how to do this.
00:20:26Sue.
00:20:28Sue, Sue, Sue.
00:20:31I understand these urges.
00:20:35And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:41I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:42I really do.
00:20:43It's just...
00:20:50I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:56Right.
00:20:57Lexi said you were...
00:20:58Jesus.
00:20:59Oh.
00:21:00Batman.
00:21:01Of course.
00:21:03What did you think?
00:21:04Oh, nothing.
00:21:05So we can still do this then?
00:21:08Oh, Sue.
00:21:09Oh, Sue.
00:21:10You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth.
00:21:37Loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, under that hot, hot sun, and I just feel such compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things, too.
00:21:49I think about those things, too.
00:21:50So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:55I just find it too hard.
00:21:57It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:06We're going to go out there, right?
00:22:17Andy, we're going to tell you through these on.
00:22:19Hey, Ty.
00:22:20Whoa!
00:22:22Have you seen Jake?
00:22:23Uh, no.
00:22:24No.
00:22:25All right.
00:22:26Focus, focus, focus, focus.
00:22:37Oh, there he is.
00:22:41Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:43How could he?
00:23:00Sue, what happened?
00:23:02Did you guys do it?
00:23:04Sue?
00:23:05He doesn't want me.
00:23:07Because he's gay.
00:23:08No, he's not.
00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:13The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are.
00:23:26Deep inside.
00:23:28What?
00:23:28Come with me.
00:23:30Where?
00:23:31To meet your dark side.
00:23:39Out!
00:23:39Everyone out!
00:23:50Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:23:54I really can't.
00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:14I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:19Sue?
00:24:20Can you see it?
00:24:23Sue.
00:24:27I'm almost...
00:24:28I'm almost there.
00:24:33Oh!
00:24:35What?
00:24:37What?
00:24:37Sue, what happened?
00:24:38What did you see?
00:24:40A raccoon?
00:24:41What?
00:24:43You overshot it.
00:24:44Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:45I can't.
00:24:53Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:55Okay, fine.
00:24:56Fine.
00:24:57I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:25:00What?
00:25:01You really need an orgasm.
00:25:04Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:09This really has to be your first step.
00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:13Coming.
00:25:14Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:16Just find it and use it.
00:25:19Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:21It's black.
00:25:22It vibrates.
00:25:25Come on, Rod.
00:25:26Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:29And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:31Hey, cutie!
00:25:44Cutie!
00:25:49Booseye!
00:25:50Oh, yeah!
00:25:54Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:57Bang.
00:25:59Good boy.
00:26:00Straighten up.
00:26:01Good boy.
00:26:02Good boy.
00:26:04He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:07I'm sorry.
00:26:08I can't see anything.
00:26:09That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:11What a bitch.
00:26:13Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:24Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:26Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:28Ah!
00:26:29Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:31Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:33Ah!
00:26:43Oh, shit.
00:26:48What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:49Nice shot.
00:26:54Direct hit.
00:27:07Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:15For sure?
00:27:16I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:20That's no excuse.
00:27:22He's a dirtbag.
00:27:23How dare he?
00:27:24No, it's awful.
00:27:25I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:33It's a text.
00:27:34It's from him.
00:27:35I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:36Okay.
00:27:38He's looking for you.
00:27:39He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:42Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:44I have to go.
00:27:44I'm going.
00:27:45No, you can't just leave.
00:27:47Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:50I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:52No.
00:27:52He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:55Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:57I see only one option.
00:28:00I'm leaving.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re...
00:28:03I mean, what?
00:28:03What does that even mean?
00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:07and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:11Revenge sex.
00:28:13Re...
00:28:13I mean, what?
00:28:14What does that even mean?
00:28:15It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:17and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:20But he...
00:28:20I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:22He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:23I mean, why would...
00:28:24He's just into other girls.
00:28:25Trust me.
00:28:26He'll care.
00:28:27Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:30To his ego.
00:28:31To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:35Especially if it's with someone smarter,
00:28:37better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:38No, I...
00:28:41I couldn't.
00:28:42Plus, I mean, there's...
00:28:43There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:46Eric!
00:28:47He's perfect!
00:28:48Eric Hall?
00:28:49Are you kidding?
00:28:50I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:53He likes your type.
00:28:54Really?
00:28:54And what type is that?
00:28:56Slutty.
00:28:58Yeah.
00:28:59Trust me, he's amazing.
00:29:00I fooled around with him once.
00:29:01He has this great tongue, Rune.
00:29:03Oh, no.
00:29:04I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:07Okay, then.
00:29:08Fine.
00:29:08We will find someone else.
00:29:10Someone that I haven't...
00:29:12Fooled around.
00:29:16Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:18I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:21No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:23Fine.
00:29:23If you want to live the rest of your life
00:29:25knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:28to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:29:31and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence
00:29:33and you chose not to do it,
00:29:34go ahead.
00:29:36But honestly,
00:29:37I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:40I don't know.
00:29:43But honestly,
00:29:44I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:47I don't know.
00:29:49Trust me.
00:29:50It's going to work.
00:29:51Okay.
00:29:56I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:30:00Hi, Cheryl.
00:30:01Okay, enough to chat with you.
00:30:03Oh, no.
00:30:15Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:19Thanks.
00:30:20Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:42So, happy birthday.
00:30:52Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:56But it's actually from us.
00:30:57U.S.
00:30:59America?
00:31:01United States?
00:31:03I know where we live.
00:31:04Right.
00:31:05Of course.
00:31:06Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:20Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:21Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:22I just...
00:31:23No, you're fine.
00:31:24No, you're fine.
00:31:36Jake!
00:31:39So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:43It?
00:31:44What, um...
00:31:45It.
00:31:46Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:52Oh, oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:57I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:59You know, the sooner the better.
00:32:02Yeah, sure.
00:32:03I mean, yeah, of course.
00:32:04Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:06I mean...
00:32:09Whew.
00:32:10Uh...
00:32:11It's just...
00:32:14You're so...
00:32:16You're so beautiful.
00:32:19Okay, um...
00:32:19Hmm?
00:32:20Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:23Right.
00:32:24Um, of course.
00:32:26Sorry?
00:32:29So, um...
00:32:31Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:34Oh, wow.
00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:41Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:47Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:50Organic.
00:32:51Yep.
00:32:54So, the wrap.
00:32:55Right.
00:32:56Um...
00:32:57Oh, where's the, uh...
00:32:59It's, uh, the end is...
00:33:01I just, like, right over here.
00:33:01Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:33:02Yeah.
00:33:03It's where I see it.
00:33:03Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:05Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:08Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:33:09I, um...
00:33:10It's okay.
00:33:11Here, do it again.
00:33:12Sorry, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult to...
00:33:17You know what?
00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:21Okay.
00:33:25Uh, let me just see.
00:33:29Oh, here it is.
00:33:30I got it.
00:33:30All right, just, um, pull it.
00:33:33Let me just...
00:33:34Oh, jeez.
00:33:38Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:39You okay?
00:33:40Help me!
00:33:40Help!
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:41Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:46Oh, jeez.
00:33:48Oh, jeez.
00:33:48Oh, jeez.
00:33:49Oh, jeez.
00:33:50Oh, jeez.
00:33:51Oh, jeez.
00:33:52Oh, jeez.
00:33:53Oh, jeez.
00:33:54Oh, jeez.
00:33:55Oh, jeez.
00:33:57Yeah.
00:34:03How you doing tonight?
00:34:05You having a good time?
00:34:06Yeah?
00:34:07Good?
00:34:07Jake!
00:34:08I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:11What?
00:34:12I can't hear you.
00:34:14I'm not a beer.
00:34:16Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:17Jake!
00:34:17Sorry, we're...
00:34:18Upstairs.
00:34:20Yeah.
00:34:21Hold on.
00:34:22Take a piss.
00:34:23How much beer?
00:34:27Oh, jeez.
00:34:51Finally.
00:34:53I, uh...
00:34:54Let's just get the blinds.
00:34:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:00What?
00:35:01I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:05Oh.
00:35:07Well, okay.
00:35:08Okay.
00:35:22Finally.
00:35:23I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:30What?
00:35:31I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:36Oh.
00:35:38Well, okay.
00:35:39Okay.
00:35:40Okay.
00:35:40Okay.
00:35:41Okay.
00:35:43So I'm going to make that cookie plate!
00:35:47Let's go now...
00:35:49How is it going?
00:35:51I think I'm going to get pure coffee!
00:35:54I don't want to either cut the cookie plate, so I'll go and make it with my cat!
00:36:02I want my cat to make it so easy!
00:36:04It's a lot better, but I can't do it.
00:36:08what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:36:38it's so good oh yep oh my god draw draw draw what what what ah ah ah lockjaw lockjaw is that even a thing
00:36:58i don't know ah are you okay
00:37:07no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just a embarrassed i it's probably tmj or fracture or swollen
00:37:18you sure you're okay yeah yeah i'm fine okay great have fun
00:37:22oh
00:37:28now now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:37:34all right i'm gonna come i'm gonna come
00:37:35No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no not yet!
00:37:40Lexie! Lexie!
00:37:41Oh shhhh!
00:37:42Oh!
00:37:46No no no not yet!
00:37:47Lexie! Lexie!
00:37:48Oh shhh!
00:37:51No means no!
00:37:52Huh? Oh, I-I'm so sorry. I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:37:55It's been a really long time and I just-I haven't mastered her or anything.
00:37:59Oh, hey, Jake.
00:38:06How are you doing?
00:38:09How's it going?
00:38:10Good.
00:38:11Eric?
00:38:12Eric, help me.
00:38:13I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:16Excuse me.
00:38:20Cheryl's in here.
00:38:26Sup, bruh?
00:38:28What the fuck is that?
00:38:31Hey, wait!
00:38:33Lex, babe, I'm still waiting.
00:38:41Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:45Damn it.
00:38:47I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:38:49Hey, you!
00:38:51You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:53or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:55I'm so sorry. I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:00You better make fun of the blind again.
00:39:01Ah!
00:39:02Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:05This party's ass!
00:39:06Yeah!
00:39:07Yeah!
00:39:08Yeah!
00:39:09Yeah!
00:39:10Yeah!
00:39:11Yeah!
00:39:12Yeah!
00:39:13This just isn't working.
00:39:14Nothing.
00:39:15What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:16Back here, man.
00:39:17What the fuck?
00:39:18What the fuck?
00:39:19What the fuck?
00:39:20What the fuck?
00:39:21Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:39:22This party's ass!
00:39:23Yeah!
00:39:24What the fuck?
00:39:25What the fuck?
00:39:26What the fuck?
00:39:27This just isn't working.
00:39:28Nothing.
00:39:29What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:31Back here, man.
00:39:32Watch this.
00:39:33Spark it up!
00:39:34Yes!
00:39:35All right!
00:39:36Oh, man!
00:39:37Oh, man!
00:39:38Oh, man!
00:39:39Oh, man!
00:39:40Oh, man!
00:39:41Oh, man!
00:39:42Oh, man!
00:39:43Oh, man!
00:39:44Oh, man!
00:39:45Oh, man!
00:39:46Oh, man!
00:39:47Oh, man!
00:39:48Oh, man!
00:39:49Oh, man!
00:39:50Oh, man!
00:39:51Oh, man!
00:39:52Oh, man!
00:39:53I love this game!
00:39:54We're the controllers.
00:39:55We gotta play.
00:39:56Here, here, here, here.
00:39:57Okay, let me play another one.
00:39:58Hurry up!
00:39:59Come on!
00:40:01Woo!
00:40:03What is this?
00:40:04Oh, my God!
00:40:07Oh, man!
00:40:08Get that thing away!
00:40:09Jesus!
00:40:14Oh!
00:40:17Hey, dude, nice shot!
00:40:18What's it mean?
00:40:20It wasn't me!
00:40:25Whoa!
00:40:26Whoa!
00:40:27Nice!
00:40:28Are you sitting on there or something?
00:40:31Hey, you found the grenade launcher!
00:40:32Nice!
00:40:33Nice!
00:40:45Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:47Whoa!
00:41:00You are the controller!
00:41:02No!
00:41:03I just...
00:41:04I didn't...
00:41:05I swear...
00:41:06I...
00:41:07Hey, Sue.
00:41:18What's going on, man?
00:41:22It's okay.
00:41:23Hey, Sue.
00:41:34Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:41:39Oh, sure.
00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:47You were?
00:41:48You mean...
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:57Could we go get a drink?
00:42:01Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged.
00:42:05You...
00:42:06You know what?
00:42:07I gotta go.
00:42:08Um, happy birthday.
00:42:09Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't...
00:42:11I didn't...
00:42:12Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:28Never going to have sex.
00:42:29Ow.
00:42:50Hello?
00:42:50A little attention here.
00:42:53Oh, yeah.
00:42:53Sorry.
00:42:54Sorry.
00:42:54Lex, don't be selfish.
00:43:01All right.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:03Sorry.
00:43:15Oh, jeez.
00:43:17Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:23Screw it.
00:43:31Oh.
00:43:32Oh.
00:43:33Oh.
00:43:33Oh.
00:43:34Oh.
00:43:34Oh.
00:43:35Oh.
00:43:35Oh.
00:43:36Oh.
00:43:36Oh.
00:43:37Oh.
00:43:37Oh.
00:43:38Oh.
00:43:38Oh.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:39Oh.
00:43:40Oh.
00:43:40Oh.
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:41Oh.
00:43:42Oh.
00:43:42Oh.
00:43:43Oh.
00:43:43Oh.
00:43:44Oh.
00:43:44Oh.
00:43:45Oh.
00:43:45Oh.
00:43:46Oh.
00:43:46Oh.
00:43:47Oh.
00:43:47Oh.
00:43:48Oh.
00:43:49Oh.
00:43:49Oh.
00:43:50Oh.
00:43:51Oh.
00:43:51Oh.
00:43:52Oh.
00:43:52Oh.
00:43:53Oh.
00:43:54Oh.
00:43:55Oh.
00:43:55Oh.
00:43:56Oh.
00:43:56Oh.
00:43:57Oh.
00:43:57Oh.
00:43:58Oh.
00:43:58Oh.
00:43:59Oh.
00:43:59Oh.
00:44:00Oh.
00:44:00Oh, no, that was bad.
00:44:06That was so bad.
00:44:20Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:25I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:27Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:34Yes, it does.
00:44:36So you're JJ?
00:44:38Uh-oh.
00:44:57Hello. Welcome to 1-900-Confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:05A nun.
00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:13Please hold.
00:45:14Oh, my goodness.
00:45:191-900-Confession. How may I be of service?
00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:26One day.
00:45:29Ow!
00:45:34Is that too long?
00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:38Go on.
00:45:40Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:46What's her problem?
00:45:48A washing machine touched her.
00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:54All right, freak, time's up.
00:45:56What? What do I do?
00:45:58Just unplug the thing.
00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:46:03Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:06I'm serious!
00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.
00:46:14Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:16No contritions?
00:46:18You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:22So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:25Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:28Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:31Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:35Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:39He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:44Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:48Because I'm a nun.
00:46:49Now eat my pussy, bitch!
00:46:52Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:46:54Who'da think?
00:46:55Revenge sex.
00:47:05What a stupid fucking idea.
00:47:07God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:11Yeah, admit it.
00:47:12I've got no game.
00:47:14I guess I can scare you.
00:47:15I guess I'm a beautiful man.
00:47:17Fuckin' douchebag.
00:47:23Damn it.
00:47:24Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:27You go, girl.
00:47:29What?
00:47:31What are you doing here?
00:47:33We needed someplace private.
00:47:35But hey, listen.
00:47:36If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:38Yeah?
00:47:38Do you want someone great?
00:47:40I mean, really.
00:47:42The best ever.
00:47:44No offense.
00:47:46Frank.
00:47:47The blind guy?
00:47:48Really?
00:47:49I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:53I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:55It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:58It was like we used all our senses.
00:48:01Everything.
00:48:01If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:07All right.
00:48:14What about him?
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:17Oh, yeah.
00:48:17I know Jeremy.
00:48:18Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:21I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:23It's Jones.
00:48:25Jeremy Jones.
00:48:26This all makes sense.
00:48:28Excuse me.
00:48:30Jeremy.
00:48:32Hi.
00:48:32Hey.
00:48:33Who's on the phone?
00:48:35Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:37You'll meet her.
00:48:37Could be here in like an hour.
00:48:39Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:53Oh.
00:48:55Hi, Frank.
00:48:56Sit.
00:48:57Oh, you meant...
00:49:01You meant the dog.
00:49:05Relax.
00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:18Oh, I'm...
00:49:19I'm relaxed.
00:49:20I'm fine.
00:49:20Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:23I'm not.
00:49:27How did you know that?
00:49:30Corner.
00:49:34Sit.
00:49:36Roll over.
00:49:40Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Roll over.
00:49:44Oh, you mean me.
00:49:49Oh, how do you...
00:49:51How do you want me to...
00:49:52Just like that.
00:49:53I know it.
00:49:53Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:50:08Considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:13Oh.
00:50:16See me with your hands.
00:50:18All right.
00:50:22All right.
00:50:25You know, I should really...
00:50:31I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:33Really.
00:50:37Oh.
00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:48Oh, Frank.
00:51:02Frank.
00:51:02Frank.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:07Oh, Frank.
00:51:18Oh, man.
00:51:33Oh, give me a chip.
00:51:34My chips, homeboy.
00:51:36Oh, give me a chip, man.
00:51:37My chips.
00:51:38Oh.
00:51:39My chips.
00:51:39Oh, give me a chip.
00:51:40Chocolate.
00:51:41My chips?
00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:46Sorry.
00:51:54It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:57That's all.
00:51:57Come on, let me do this.
00:52:03Go away.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:04I got it.
00:52:05No, really, please.
00:52:05I want to help.
00:52:07Please.
00:52:09Okay, everybody out.
00:52:12Leave.
00:52:12I have to back you.
00:52:13You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:27They're over here.
00:52:28I just, I see some dust over here, so.
00:52:34It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:38It's a dirty floor.
00:52:40It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:45It's a dirty floor.
00:53:15Oh, man.
00:53:16We got it.
00:53:17Oh, jeez.
00:53:17Oh, here's my chest.
00:53:19Frankie.
00:53:21Oh, my.
00:53:22Oh.
00:53:22What was that?
00:53:23What?
00:53:24Ow.
00:53:25Fucking shit.
00:53:26Man, we got to smoke.
00:53:27We can smoke an email.
00:53:30Stop.
00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:33Oh, shit.
00:53:35Sorry, man.
00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:38Oh, I heard something.
00:53:39You want to join us?
00:53:40Uh, no, I might not.
00:53:41Come on.
00:53:42You got to do it.
00:53:43Come on.
00:53:43What's your dog, man?
00:53:45What's it like being blinded?
00:53:47It's tripping.
00:53:51Frank?
00:53:53Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:57Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:01Thanks, man.
00:54:03Ooh, this is some good stuff. I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:05Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:09Wait, wait, wait. I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:13Damn, I really can't remember. This is some good shit.
00:54:35Oh, no. You're the devil.
00:54:37No more.
00:54:39JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:43You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:47Please.
00:54:49Lex, I can't.
00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:53I really like this girl.
00:54:55Fine.
00:54:57Because I'm wearing this coupless bra.
00:55:01And I also have on crotchless panties.
00:55:03With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:09Oh.
00:55:13We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:15Perfect.
00:55:21Before she gets here.
00:55:22Perfect.
00:55:33Let's do it. Let's do it.
00:55:35Fuck me. Fuck me now.
00:55:37What? What's wrong?
00:55:43I can't.
00:55:44I can't get it in.
00:55:45Just try down there.
00:55:47It's like desert down there.
00:55:49It's sandpaper.
00:55:50I just...
00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:53Just try it again.
00:55:55No.
00:55:57Why is this happening?
00:55:59We fooled around before.
00:56:00I was dripping wet.
00:56:01I came like four times, remember?
00:56:03Just do what you did then.
00:56:04Go on.
00:56:05I already did my thing.
00:56:06I already tried.
00:56:09What?
00:56:10What is different this time?
00:56:12I don't know.
00:56:14Last time...
00:56:17I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:20What?
00:56:22You're not JJ?
00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:25How can you not be JJ?
00:56:27Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:31Where are you going?
00:56:32We're not done here.
00:56:33I can still do this.
00:56:34I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:35I can do this.
00:56:37I don't need JJ.
00:56:38I don't need anyone else.
00:56:39We can do this.
00:56:42Go team.
00:56:46What?
00:56:47Just keep going.
00:56:53Shit.
00:56:57Where's Jeremy?
00:56:58We were just, you know...
00:57:00Hey babe.
00:57:01Just working out.
00:57:03How could you?
00:57:04You bastard!
00:57:06You might wanna...
00:57:07What?
00:57:09What?
00:57:11What?
00:57:12Mariela!
00:57:13Mariela!
00:57:14Mariela!
00:57:15Mariela!
00:57:16You know those aren't mine!
00:57:18At least not all of them.
00:57:20What is wrong with you?
00:57:21What is wrong with you?
00:57:22What is wrong with you?
00:57:23You used to be so pure.
00:57:24Well no more.
00:57:25That's it.
00:57:26Really, that's the last one.
00:57:27Really, that's the last one.
00:57:28Ooh.
00:57:29Ooh.
00:57:30Ooh.
00:57:31Whoa.
00:57:32Mmm.
00:57:33Ooh.
00:57:34Ooh.
00:57:35Hmm.
00:57:36Ooh.
00:57:37How could you work?
00:57:38Oh.
00:57:39You know those aren't mine!
00:57:40At least not all of them!
00:57:41What is wrong with you?
00:57:42What is wrong with you?
00:57:43You used to be so pure.
00:57:45Well no more.
00:57:46That's it.
00:57:47Really.
00:57:48That's the last one.
00:57:49That's the last one.
00:58:19Cheryl?
00:58:24What is it?
00:58:25What are you doing down here?
00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:31What?
00:58:32Why?
00:58:33Nothing, just this lying guy and his dog and...
00:58:37Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:40No, it's not okay.
00:58:42God.
00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:45I'm sorry.
00:58:46It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
00:58:48That lying, cheating bastard.
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:52He is such a dickwad.
00:58:53You need to confront him.
00:58:55Yeah.
00:58:56Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:59:02You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:05Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:07A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:09A big piece of it.
00:59:10Yeah.
00:59:11You know, you might wanna...
00:59:13You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:16Yeah, you're right.
00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:19I know.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:22I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:25I got no game.
00:59:26It's not important.
00:59:27Hey, um...
00:59:28Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:29No, no, no.
00:59:30I really need to talk to you.
00:59:31Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:32No, no, no, no, no.
00:59:33No, no, no.
00:59:34No, no, no.
00:59:35I can't talk right now.
00:59:36No, no, no, no.
00:59:37I really need to talk to you.
00:59:38No, no, no, no, no.
00:59:39I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it
00:59:40up to you.
00:59:41Eric, really?
00:59:42I don't care.
00:59:43It's fine.
00:59:44No, but I do.
00:59:45I mean, I do.
00:59:46I care.
00:59:47No, no, no, no, no.
00:59:48I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make
01:00:06it up to you.
01:00:07Eric, really?
01:00:08I don't care.
01:00:09It's fine.
01:00:10No, but I do.
01:00:11I mean, I do.
01:00:12I care.
01:00:13I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:20But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:26Soon.
01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.
01:00:30Really?
01:00:31Eric, you're shy.
01:00:32You have no game.
01:00:34No, not really.
01:00:37Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:39Sorry.
01:00:40Okay.
01:00:41All right.
01:00:42I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:00:47Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:48I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:02Here I come, baby.
01:01:03Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:17Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:18Um, we can't do this.
01:01:19Oh, God.
01:01:20Sorry.
01:01:21Oh, God.
01:01:22Dammit.
01:01:23Not again.
01:01:24Oh, no, um...
01:01:25Honey, happy...
01:01:26What the fuck is this?
01:01:27Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:28Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:30Cheryl.
01:01:31Baby, what is this?
01:01:32Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:33You're...
01:01:34I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:37Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:38You couldn't find me?
01:01:39What about all those girls, baby?
01:01:40Oh, I'm sorry.
01:01:41I'm sorry.
01:01:42I'm sorry.
01:01:43I'm sorry.
01:01:44I'm sorry.
01:01:45Oh, no.
01:01:46I'm sorry.
01:01:47Oh, no.
01:01:48Honey, happy...
01:01:49What the fuck is this?
01:01:50Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:51Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:52Cheryl, baby, what is this?
01:01:54Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:55You're...
01:01:56I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:57Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:58You couldn't find me?
01:01:59What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:02:04Cheryl, honey.
01:02:05No, no.
01:02:06We can work this out.
01:02:07Baby, I love you.
01:02:09Jake, no.
01:02:10You have to go.
01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:12I promise.
01:02:13No, Jake.
01:02:14I can't do this.
01:02:15I'm sorry.
01:02:16Cheryl, come on.
01:02:17No, Jake, please.
01:02:18Just go.
01:02:19Just go.
01:02:20I'm sorry.
01:02:21You're a harmless bitch!
01:02:22How can you do...
01:02:23Yay!
01:02:24You did it.
01:02:25I am so proud of you.
01:02:26You got your revenge sex.
01:02:28You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:02:30Oh.
01:02:31Revenge sex?
01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:36Right.
01:02:37That all makes sense now.
01:02:40Wow.
01:02:41I feel really stupid.
01:02:43Eric, I'm really...
01:02:44I'm really sorry.
01:02:46Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:49And you used me.
01:02:51Eric, please don't go.
01:02:52Please, Eric!
01:02:54Aren't you happy?
01:02:57Well, no.
01:02:58That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:03:01You mean the sex?
01:03:02Was it...
01:03:03Yeah?
01:03:04No, we didn't quite do it.
01:03:05Oh.
01:03:06You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:08Really?
01:03:09I just never found the right guy.
01:03:11Or guys.
01:03:12Anyway.
01:03:13We better get downstairs.
01:03:14People are starting to leave.
01:03:15I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:17Sue did.
01:03:28I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:30This is bullshit!
01:03:31God!
01:03:32Oh!
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Suck it!
01:03:36What the?
01:03:37God, I'm out of here!
01:03:39Yeah!
01:03:40Yeah!
01:03:41He has good hair, though.
01:03:46Don't you puse on me.
01:03:48And don't tease on my car, either.
01:04:02Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:04:05Was it from sex?
01:04:06Did you pop your cork?
01:04:07I don't think so.
01:04:08Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:10Oh, don't ask.
01:04:12Every possible object.
01:04:14It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:16It was like...
01:04:17Transformers.
01:04:18They just all became vibrators.
01:04:20Ha!
01:04:21I told you.
01:04:22It's addicting.
01:04:25So what about Chris?
01:04:26Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.
01:04:28I told you he was gay.
01:04:29No.
01:04:30Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:32Oh, cramp.
01:04:34Oh.
01:04:35Oh.
01:04:36I think it's broken.
01:04:37So wait.
01:04:38None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:42Ha!
01:04:45Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:47So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:50Wanna go?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I think...
01:04:55I think I should finish up here.
01:04:56Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:59No.
01:05:00I don't know.
01:05:01For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:05:05Or something.
01:05:06Why?
01:05:07Do you know him?
01:05:08Sort of.
01:05:09Oh.
01:05:10Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:14Leave everything behind.
01:05:20Love him.
01:05:21Shut it.
01:05:22You wanna do it?
01:05:23I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:24I wanna get married.
01:05:25You wanna do it?
01:05:26I've heard, I've heard, I've heard.
01:05:27Hehehehe.
01:05:52Um.
01:05:53No.
01:05:54Nowhere.
01:05:55Oh well, there's always next year.
01:06:25It's you, I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:40Joanna.
01:06:55And when the heat is on,
01:07:24you'll never take it away.
01:07:31Give me a robot no more.
01:07:37And when the heat is on...
01:07:41Wow, that's amazing.
01:07:45Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:48I guess something inspired me.
01:07:51He really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:59Whose?
01:08:00Eric's.
01:08:01Well, it's him, right?
01:08:04Oh.
01:08:05Yeah.
01:08:06I have to go see him.
01:08:11Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:16Mmm.
01:08:17Mmm.
01:08:18Mmm.
01:08:19Mmm.
01:08:271-900 confess.
01:08:29Sister Terese?
01:08:31Yeah, hon, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:35I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:38Oh, sure.
01:08:40It's 271.
01:08:42Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:08:44but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:47Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:51Like, take you back?
01:08:53Sure, hon.
01:08:54Why not?
01:08:55As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:58Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:09:00I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:09:04Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:08Sister?
01:09:09Can I get up now?
01:09:11I really gotta pee.
01:09:13No!
01:09:14Hush your trap!
01:09:16Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work,
01:09:19but call back any time.
01:09:21I will.
01:09:22Thanks.
01:09:26Sister?
01:09:27Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:46Eric, wait!
01:09:49Cheryl?
01:09:52Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning,
01:10:00but then at the end I wasn't.
01:10:03I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:10:06The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:09Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:17I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:19and he's all over these-
01:10:20Eric!
01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:25Oh.
01:10:26Wow.
01:10:27Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:30Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:32Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:37Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days
01:10:41when I get back?
01:10:43Yeah.
01:10:44Sure.
01:10:50Oh.
01:10:51Sorry.
01:10:52No kissing, right.
01:10:53No, kissing.
01:10:54Oh.
01:10:55Mm.
01:10:56Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:15I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:18Wait, what?
01:11:19I never did that.
01:11:21I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:23She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:29She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:32I wonder who it was.
01:11:33I wonder who it was.
01:11:53At least this birthday's over.
01:12:03Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:09I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign.
01:12:33Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:45Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:12:47It's on Bountain Street.
01:12:49Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:52Or used to go to.
01:12:53Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:58You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:13:00Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:10Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:13Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:18Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:22I don't think so.
01:13:23But thanks.
01:13:25What's your name?
01:13:26Sue.
01:13:27What's yours?
01:13:28Jesus.
01:13:30Really?
01:13:31Si.
01:13:34Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:35Maybe I could use the ride.
Recommended
2:43:38
|
Up next
2:07:12
1:45:27
1:10:20
1:28:11
3:03:00
1:32:57
1:15:45
1:26:38
1:05:26
1:24:17