- 6/21/2025
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Short filmTranscript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:10Tom!
00:19Yep, that's it.
00:20Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:30I hate you.
00:34Let me out of here!
00:46Hello and welcome to a brand new series of Taskmaster Australia.
00:50It's a new season and that means everything is bigger and better.
00:53And by everything, I mean my car park and my paycheck.
00:57And as a result, it must be said, everything else has really suffered.
01:02And despite complaints that the chocolate inside tastes a lot like polystyrene,
01:06we've got ourselves another trophy of my dome up for grabs.
01:11The five new faces vying for glory this season,
01:14each coming from different levels of fame and circumstance,
01:18all united by one thing, availability, are Dave Hughes, Emma Holland,
01:27Lisa McHugh, Takashi Wakatsugi and Tommy Little.
01:33And once again, physically by my side, yet hierarchically well beneath me,
01:42it's lesser Tom Cashman.
01:50Alright, I'd like our first prize task for the season, please.
01:52That's right, our first task is a prize task.
01:54Each of our contestants have brought in a prize and the winner of the episode will take home all five prizes.
01:59Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most misunderstood thing.
02:05Dave, what do you have for me?
02:07I have the ashes of my...
02:13No, of my dog Barkley.
02:18So this is where we're back.
02:19Season four, let's kick it off with discussing your dead pet.
02:24Thanks for that, Husing.
02:25Yeah, but he was misunderstood.
02:27See, even though he bit a lot of people, he was a lovely dog.
02:31So you're just saying your dog was misunderstood, essentially.
02:34So you could have just had a beautiful photo of your dog Barkley.
02:37Yeah, because I'm committed to this show.
02:39And Barkley would love that.
02:41So Barkley will go to the winner of tonight's episode.
02:46Okay.
02:47If I win your dog's ashes, I'm smoking them.
02:50That's all right.
02:53Sorry, but I am.
02:56Alright, you're really putting it all on the line there.
02:57What have you got, Emma?
02:59I brought in the Commonwealth Electoral Act No. 17 from 1948.
03:06It's the part of the Electoral Act that discusses proportional representation in Senate elections.
03:12I hate to say this, but Husey's pet's ashes are now seeming less depressing.
03:19If you can look me in the eye and explain Senate preferencing to me, I'll accept less than five points.
03:25Okay, well, I'm not sure I really can describe Senate preferencing.
03:28Yeah, because it's hard to understand.
03:29People don't understand it.
03:34So what have you brought in, Lisa?
03:36Maths.
03:37Maths?
03:38I'm just not good at maths.
03:39And I don't really understand it.
03:40How did I bring in maths?
03:42126.
03:45Far out.
03:47That's not right.
03:48It's not right.
03:52You proved that Lisa's was good because you misunderstood it.
03:56Waka, what did you bring in?
03:57Yes.
03:58I bought a giraffe.
04:03I think giraffe doesn't have a long neck.
04:07It has long shoulder.
04:13Lower shoulder.
04:14You know what I mean?
04:16No, not really.
04:17Like one thing that the giraffe's known for is it has a really long neck.
04:20Okay, here is shoulder.
04:21Yeah.
04:22How about here?
04:24It feels shoulder to me.
04:25Alright, alright.
04:26The here?
04:27That's neck.
04:28Right, alright.
04:29That's giraffe's here.
04:30Oh.
04:31The here is shoulder.
04:32Yep.
04:33If giraffe wear a shirt, that part will be...
04:37You know what I mean?
04:41I get that.
04:43Yeah.
04:44Most people would say it's got a long neck, but I think you've made a convincing case for
04:47it having a very long shoulder.
04:49Yes.
04:51Alright, Tommy.
04:52I have brought in the skull of a red deer.
04:57It's misunderstood because people think when they see it at my house that I'm into hunting.
05:01Tommy, someone shot that.
05:03No, mine died of natural cause.
05:08Alright, so what are you saying is misunderstood about your object?
05:10Because it's not a good look.
05:12And I feel that's misunderstood.
05:15I feel like you misunderstood the assignment.
05:17I just love the idea because if Hughes wins this, he's got to go home and take this with him
05:25and then convince people that he's a vegetarian.
05:29But I'm not a vegetarian.
05:30I'm a vegan.
05:32He says that.
05:33Have you seen the skull on the wall?
05:36And the dead dog in the jar?
05:41Alright, I should give out some scores, shouldn't I?
05:42I think so.
05:43Well, Tommy Little gets one.
05:44Okay.
05:45I'm going to give two points to Lisa because I understand Mats.
05:48I'm giving three points to Husey.
05:50I respect your dog at the same time.
05:52It's very depressing and I'm trying to create light entertainment here.
05:56Can we smile because he happened?
05:58I'm giving four points to Emma.
06:04I think we all have no idea what's going on when it comes to that section of the Constitution.
06:08Okay.
06:09I'm going to give five points to Waka because he made a good point.
06:12I think we've been misunderstanding the giraffe all this time.
06:15Well done.
06:16Well done.
06:20Okay, boy wonder.
06:21Time to earn your keep.
06:22I want a task.
06:23I can do that.
06:24And first up, it's time for our contestants to win at losing.
06:26Hi Carrie.
06:27Where's Tom?
06:28Where's Tom?
06:29Tom?
06:30This is not Tom.
06:31Lose the van keys.
06:32You cannot leave the van.
06:34The keys that remain lost for long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long.
06:40Where's Tom?
06:46Where's Tom?
06:49Tom?
06:51This is not Tom.
06:54Lose the van keys.
06:56You cannot leave the van.
07:00The keys that remain lost for longest wins.
07:04Tom will arrive to search for the keys in four minutes.
07:06Your time starts now.
07:08Well, just eat it.
07:11Obviously, I eat it.
07:13Can I just put it up me?
07:16Can I just put it up my arse?
07:24So, it's the very first task for the season
07:26and there's no lesser Tom in it.
07:27I like this format.
07:29Do you think maybe we should do it like this from now on,
07:31just you not being there?
07:32I feel like it's already an improvement.
07:35I disagree and also we've already filmed it.
07:38All right.
07:42Now, what a way to kick off the season, too.
07:44Tommy Little, straight away, he's discussing putting things up his arse.
07:48I wish I could also say that that was a once-off,
07:51but that becomes a really common theme, Tom.
07:55But that's your comedy.
07:56That's what you do and that's why people love you
07:58because you just look at what everyone else has already thought
08:00and then you just say it out loud.
08:02But is that where you would look first?
08:03Because I've seen your act?
08:04Yes, because I've seen your act.
08:06I'd think, what would Tommy Little think?
08:08I'd think he wants to keep it basic.
08:09He would think of putting them straight up his arse
08:11and I'd just be up your arse in no time.
08:14And I'd be like, here they are.
08:15Your comedy's predictable and so's the location of these keys.
08:17So, just to be clear, losing the keys...
08:25That's right.
08:25...and you can't leave the van...
08:27I'm going to arrive in four minutes
08:28and I'm going to look for the keys.
08:30Longest before I find the keys wins.
08:32All right, who are we going to see lose their keys first?
08:35One jiggles her key before it works,
08:36the other laughs when he sees keys being jangled.
08:38It's Lisa and Tommy.
08:40I just want you to know, it is going down my pants?
08:44Absolutely.
08:45But it is not going up my arse.
08:46It's accidentally gone up me.
08:50It hasn't gone up me.
08:52Oh, fuck!
08:55Oh, my gosh.
08:56I have got a couple of places that I want to put this.
08:58It's not a arse.
08:59It's not a...
09:01It's on my gooch.
09:02Grow up.
09:10Lisa, please step out of the car.
09:12I said I wasn't allowed to.
09:13Now you may.
09:14Your time is up.
09:14Okay.
09:15And where's the key?
09:15That's a trick question.
09:18Because don't you have to find it?
09:19Where are the keys from?
09:19But isn't that the point that you have to find them?
09:21Yeah.
09:22Do you want to give me a hint?
09:23Why would it be in the front end of the car?
09:24It'd be in the back end.
09:25Not in the back end.
09:27It'd be near the back end.
09:29It's near it.
09:30Where are they then?
09:31Are you in a real hurry?
09:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:33Why is that?
09:33So if you could just tell me where they are, that'd be...
09:35Do I really need to tell you or do you have to find them?
09:38Do you want another hint?
09:39Yep.
09:39I'm quite ashamed.
09:42What have you done?
09:43Is it in your undies?
09:46No!
09:47Why?
09:47Why would you guess that?
09:49That's something that would bring you shame.
09:50Oh my God.
09:51Now I feel like I actually should tell you where they are.
09:53Yeah, maybe just a hint just so I can find them.
09:55What do you need them for?
09:57Oh, just to start the van and use the van.
09:59For the next task?
10:00Yeah, exactly.
10:01Stuff like that.
10:01It's in your undies, isn't it?
10:02What makes you say that?
10:04Because when I ask you the direct question, you avert eye contact and giggle and refuse to
10:09promise that it's not in your undies.
10:11Do you think I would put it in my undies?
10:12Yeah.
10:13Do you really want me to give them to you?
10:14Really important stuff.
10:14Do you want me to give them to you?
10:15Yeah, yeah.
10:16Seriously?
10:16Am I going to blow it?
10:17I mean...
10:18Oh, okay.
10:19I'll give them to you.
10:20Really?
10:20Yeah.
10:23Oh, thank you.
10:26Was that a fail?
10:27Thanks, Lisa.
10:28Goodbye.
10:29How would you like to proceed?
10:30Could you just turn away and maybe I'll make the keys appear?
10:32Okay.
10:33And we can pretend they weren't in my undies.
10:35That sounds good to me.
10:39Oh, yeah, I found them.
10:40Oh, you found them.
10:41Oh, bro.
10:48What I like is Lisa McCune came in and you asked for the keys and she just said,
10:53here they are.
10:54So your reputation as Australia's sweetheart is intact.
10:57Is that what you worried about?
10:58Your image?
10:59No.
11:00I was hoping he'd put his hand down my top to get it.
11:03I was hoping he was going to say, get it off McCune, start taking the peel off the layers.
11:07That's the first time anyone has ever said that to Tom.
11:10Okay, so I just feel like he just politely asked for it.
11:16You just gave it up.
11:17Well, because he kind of was yelling at me like he wanted them back and I felt like he
11:20needed them for something.
11:21So I thought I'll give him.
11:22That was not yelling.
11:24Really?
11:25We're all thinking the same thing though, aren't we?
11:27They're both disqualified because they left the van and the keys left the van with them.
11:30So it's over for both of them.
11:33It's over for both of them.
11:34No, no.
11:35So you couldn't leave the van for the first four minutes while you were hiding the keys.
11:39After that, the search began and I asked them to leave the vehicle.
11:41All right.
11:42So, all right.
11:42Don't set the tone for being a snitchy little bitch from F1.
11:50Look at Hughes.
11:51He's straight away day one.
11:53He's playing tennis and he's walking straight up to the umpire to have a chat.
12:00So, Tommy, you were pretty vocal about making it clear that the keys weren't up your ass.
12:05But then you were making all kinds of noises like they were up your ass.
12:09What was that about?
12:10Yeah, I don't know if you've ever had keys right near your ass and then you've moved
12:13around a lot on a seat.
12:15But the wrong movement can end up with when they weren't up your ass being up your ass pretty
12:21quick.
12:21You know what I enjoyed?
12:24You knew that they'd been like pretty much rested against his ball bag and you're like,
12:27no worries, buddy.
12:28What's that about?
12:29A job's a job.
12:31So what times are we looking at so far?
12:33Well, using my skills of deduction and personality profiling, I found Tommy's keys in four minutes
12:38and 34 seconds.
12:40Using my skills of asking for the keys, I found Lisa's in one minute and 26 seconds.
12:46All right.
12:46We need a break.
12:48Just enough time to hide some keys down your trousers and get your significant other to
12:53reach in and fish them out again.
12:54Back soon.
12:55Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
13:10It's a new season and our first episode, or ep as they like to call it in the biz.
13:15Yes, and we've already lost the van keys.
13:18Thankfully, they were lost by people very happy to tell me where they were.
13:21Up next, they already amused me, but can they elude me?
13:24It's Waka and Emma.
13:26All right.
13:27So I'm going to hide the key and Tom's going to look for it.
13:30What?
13:33This is a spanky and there's so many fake ones here.
13:41I could just chuck them, hey.
13:47I just don't trust my arm.
13:52No.
13:54No.
13:55All right.
14:02Oh, God, what the hell?
14:04Where did she come from?
14:07Where's the key?
14:08I don't know.
14:09Where's the key?
14:10In the van.
14:11In the van?
14:11In the van.
14:12Does that mean it's not in the van?
14:13Did you throw it out of the car?
14:14No.
14:14No, Tom's doing a task.
14:27I love it.
14:28I love watching someone do a task.
14:37I don't want to.
14:37I feel bad now.
14:39You've left quite a few decoys.
14:41Don't get grumpy.
14:42It's nice to see you a bit distressed.
14:44I'm going to be honest.
14:45Are you actually, I can't tell.
14:46Are you trying to look?
14:47Am I trying to look?
14:47Are you like genuinely trying to look?
14:49Yes, I'm genuinely trying to look.
14:50Okay.
14:51When the rest of me, you lost something.
14:53I'm usually pretty good at not losing things.
14:55Yeah, that's why you're not good at looking for.
14:59If it helps build my case, I think at this point, I don't know where the key is.
15:03But why has that point changed?
15:04You're overthinking things.
15:06You've got to relax, man.
15:07You just said a very confusing thing.
15:09You say confusing things all the time.
15:10You can't say confusing things and then get mad at me for being confused.
15:13All the information you need is in the task.
15:17Did you find it?
15:18Yeah.
15:19Ready?
15:19I found it.
15:20I don't think so.
15:22The fact you might have believed me means it's near here.
15:26I love this task.
15:28Can you just tell me where it is?
15:29I reckon I'm going to go back to the house.
15:31You're done.
15:32Yeah, I think I'm done.
15:33Oh, shit.
15:35Is it in here?
15:35Are you still looking?
15:43Yeah.
15:43Yeah.
15:43Any last hints?
15:44What?
15:45Please give me a hint.
15:46No.
15:47So, Waku, you found a pretty good hiding spot there.
16:07Yeah, and I feel so bad.
16:10The longer it takes time, the more my heart hurts.
16:14My heart hurts.
16:15That's weird because watching it, I felt the exact opposite.
16:18The longer he took to fight it, the more I was just really relaxing and enjoying myself.
16:23All right.
16:24Emma, we got to see you go from loser to hero very quickly.
16:27Did you see the first time I tried to kick it and missed it?
16:30Yeah.
16:30What I liked was the crossed arms nonchalance of it all.
16:34I started to get really cocky.
16:36Like, it wasn't good for me.
16:37It wasn't healthy.
16:38Oh, we saw it.
16:39Yeah.
16:39The power went to your head very quickly.
16:42Yeah, and it remains.
16:44How are we going to judge this then?
16:46The time for Waka will be pretty clear.
16:48Waka lost the keys for 10 minutes and 38 seconds, more than doubling Tommy's ass-based efforts.
16:53But then, Emma, well, you only just now found out where it was.
17:01I still don't have the keys.
17:04So for the whole time that Emma was in the house doing other tasks, you were still looking for those keys?
17:09I went multiple times a day back to the van to look in the van for the keys.
17:13There is nothing I love more in this world than wasting a man's time.
17:21Well, what time are we looking at?
17:23Emma lost the keys at 10, 11 a.m. on the 26th of June, 2024.
17:28That was 82 days, 6 hours and 33 minutes ago.
17:32Absolutely brilliant.
17:35Okay.
17:36Who's left?
17:38Well, Husey is known for losing it, but can it be car keys?
17:41It's Dave Huse.
17:42All right.
17:43I need to lose these keys.
17:45I can't leave the van.
17:46Can I move the van?
17:48I can move the van.
17:50All right.
17:53I've not driven manuals for quite a while.
17:56I have no longer.
17:59Tommy!
18:00I'm not getting out of the van, man!
18:02A man with a plan and a van.
18:06This time the plan involves the van living.
18:11Here we go.
18:12We're out here!
18:12Sorry, Tommy.
18:15We're gone.
18:15We're gone.
18:15So, Husey, you found a bit of a hack there.
18:33Oh, no, I think my season just peaked.
18:36But that was wonderful, honestly.
18:38I felt like I almost drove home.
18:41For some of our younger viewers, I think putting keys up your arse would be easier than driving
18:45a manual.
18:47I can't believe no one else thought of that, though.
18:50So, yeah.
18:50I was the same with the arse thing.
18:55Did you get the keys back?
18:56He brought the van back at the end of his shooting days and gave me the keys then.
19:00So, the whole time he was in the Taskmaster retreat, there was no van?
19:04Yep.
19:05When Emma did her throw, I just leaned over and said, that's pathetic.
19:08I didn't know what was coming up, so, God, if I haven't won this challenge, I'm really
19:15going to be sad.
19:17Well, you didn't.
19:22That's pathetic.
19:28I was without Dave's keys for four days, two hours, and 48 minutes.
19:33I shouldn't have driven it back.
19:35I should have sold the plane there.
19:36So, that means Lisa's giving up strategy gets her one point, Tommy gets two, Waka three,
19:41Dave four, but Emma takes the task with five points.
19:46I'll also give you some episode scores.
19:48With three points each, we've got Lisa and Tommy trailing the pack, but out in front, it's
19:52Emma Holland on nine points.
19:56Okay, what's next?
19:58This one goes out to all the Phil's and Angie's out there.
20:01It's about phalanges.
20:06Tommy.
20:15Tommy.
20:17Ah.
20:19Hand.
20:20Well, most of one.
20:25This is very relevant for this task.
20:26Choose a finger and create an ad for it.
20:31Your finger must be chosen from one of the remaining fingers on this hand.
20:36For the purposes of this task, the thumb is a finger.
20:41Ad that proves your chosen finger is the best finger wins.
20:43You have 45 minutes.
20:45Your time starts now.
20:47Do you have a favourite finger?
20:48I mean, they're all quite handy.
20:50I just want to do the middle one, but the only reason I don't want to do it is because
20:53everybody thinks I'll do the middle one.
20:55Mm.
20:56And they're right.
20:57I'm going to go with the thumb.
20:58I'm going to choose the pinky finger.
21:00I think I'm going to go the pointer.
21:02It's the ring finger.
21:04Why have you all left the best till last?
21:07We might have to cast a finger.
21:09Pinky finger is the weakest finger, but very important.
21:13Make a promise.
21:14Now look at this finger.
21:15This is a lovely, lean, long finger.
21:18This finger is the only one that can cause the death of Roman gladiators.
21:22A little bit of a come here tiger one again.
21:24Nice.
21:25I love an infomercial.
21:26I love a call to action.
21:28Ring for the ring finger.
21:29That's good.
21:30I need a telephone.
21:31Might just get another male one if we could.
21:35Jesus.
21:36So someone got the choice of all five, and then someone had the choice of four, three,
21:44two, one, and so we got to Husey.
21:46You had no choice, did you?
21:48I had no choice, which is often better.
21:50When you say often better, have you been in a situation like this before?
21:54In life, no choice, then you've just got to do it.
21:56So, yeah.
21:57Choices are complicated because they involve choosing.
22:01Okay, I suppose we just need to see some finger ads then.
22:06Who's first?
22:06First up, pulling the trigger on the trigger finger, it's Lisa McCune.
22:10Point the way you make my day, cause baby, you're my number one.
22:15Hi, I'm Lisa McCune, and we are here to celebrate digital health
22:21and to highlight just how important your point of finger really is.
22:27So just think for a moment about the many ways you use your point of finger every day.
22:34How much easier is it to use your point of finger when operating your touch screen?
22:40Hitchhiking when the car breaks down?
22:42Beckoning that special someone?
22:44Showing someone the way?
22:46Diving deep to clear that pesky earwax or crusted over nasal mucus?
22:51It really is the easiest way to scratch your head or even your arse.
22:56Cause baby, you're my number one.
23:01Spoken by Elle McCune for Digital Health Australia Canberra.
23:08So Lisa, you would have done a lot of ads across your career, I'm guessing.
23:12So what's the secret and why didn't you use it here?
23:14I think it's in five.
23:16I actually thought that my belief in the point of finger was really strong.
23:20I think I made a really good point there.
23:22I'm happy with the way that it came up.
23:24Bit concerned about a few details.
23:25How do you hitchhike?
23:29Is that, that's for like, if you need to be picked up and that's for a cab?
23:32Well, see, you've been in showbiz so long that when everyone else was backpacking,
23:37you were probably saying to your chauffeur over here.
23:42So you probably haven't hitchhiked.
23:44How did you get a finger model?
23:46You weren't like, you weren't...
23:47I audition, I ask.
23:48So you forced someone else to put their finger up their arse, didn't you?
23:50Yeah.
23:51To be fair to Lisa, that that particular member of the crew volunteered.
23:56Alright, ad break time.
23:57I'm going to spend it peer pressuring some of the younger cast to pull my finger because
24:01it's just good fun.
24:01Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
24:17It's our season premiere where we're taking ad breaks from ad breaks.
24:22That's right, our contestants are making ads for fingers.
24:25So far we've seen Lisa's and it was a bit gross.
24:27Next up, let's hope her thumb ad is more agreeable than opposable.
24:30It's Emma Holland.
24:33Are you a Colosseum spectator tired of not being able to convey to your local Roman senator
24:38whether you want a gladiator to live or die?
24:41Are you a Roman senator who is tired of not being able to understand the gestures of your
24:45citizens?
24:46If only there was a finger that was bold, opposable and easy to comprehend.
24:51Introducing the thumb.
24:53With its very own ligament, the thumb is able to be used to communicate all kinds of desires
24:58for your favourite gladiator's fate.
24:59The thumb can go up for live, down for die or sideways for centrism.
25:04The correct political view.
25:06Don't be a Russell Crowe, be a Russell No.
25:09The thumb.
25:10Additional movements sold separately.
25:11I thought that was great.
25:17Short to the point.
25:18Great, we can move on.
25:19Yeah.
25:19Maybe because you're one of the younger cast members, you're good at making short, shareable
25:23content for online.
25:25I don't think I'd share that.
25:29Alright, so I thought it was very good, but unfortunately in Roman times, I think thumbs
25:33down meant thumbs up and thumbs up meant thumbs down.
25:35I think a lot of people believe that, yes.
25:37Oh, I wasn't alive then, I wouldn't know.
25:40Alright, who's giving us a good fingering next then?
25:44It's Pinky and the Brain.
25:46In that he used his brain to make an ad for a pinky, it's Takashi Wakasugi.
25:49I'm a pinky finger.
25:52I'm the weakest and the most useless finger.
25:56I cannot help people.
25:59What?
26:00Tom!
26:00Help!
26:01Tom!
26:02Ah!
26:03Tom!
26:04I cannot be cool.
26:12No!
26:14I'm always dirty.
26:17I always get hurt.
26:21You've got a cute dog.
26:22What's your name?
26:23Ah!
26:24Ah!
26:25Ah!
26:27But I can make promise.
26:32Promise is very important.
26:35Let's make more promise.
26:37It's quite a journey, Wakka, that you took us on.
26:48So do you think it's cool to shoot endangered wildlife, just to be clear?
26:52I think so.
26:56Were you aiming the gun at the shoulder?
27:01Shoulder, yes.
27:02Not neck.
27:03All right, and also, one thing I did really respect that you did in your ad, which I quite
27:07enjoyed, was you picked your nose and then straight after that put it in the dog's mouth.
27:12I think we all enjoyed that.
27:14I'm now trying to think which scene we shot first.
27:19I like to think one led straight into the other.
27:22All right, who's next?
27:23He chose the ring finger, but it's my time to propose that we watch Dave Hughes.
27:27It's Dave Hughes.
27:29Hi, viewers, have I got a bargain for you.
27:32The ring finger.
27:34I have one left.
27:36Phones are here and they are ready.
27:39Are you sick of rolling the dice?
27:41You are.
27:42Ring now.
27:44See the shocker?
27:45You know why these fingers are down?
27:47Because they're being protected.
27:49It's the last one.
27:51You know what they say?
27:52They save the best to last.
27:54Are you drunk?
27:55Get on the phone and we will dial up the savings.
28:00We are running out of time.
28:02Now, got a ring now.
28:04It'll be gone.
28:04Before you know it's gone.
28:06Are our phones working?
28:07Tom, have you paid the bill?
28:10Ring for the ring finger.
28:14Hello.
28:16Yeah, you can have it.
28:18Sold it.
28:19It's gone.
28:19You were too late.
28:20Sorry.
28:22But so you're advertising the ring finger and then at the very end you picked up the phone
28:29and you said, yeah, you can have it and you sold it.
28:30So then why would anyone ring at all?
28:33Uh, yeah, I don't know.
28:37Now, you know what I've understood here just so far in this show that, yeah, it's a stiff competition.
28:43Some of these guys have got really good ideas and I'm feeling under pressure.
28:49You know something else I noticed, I mean, I think it was a very effective ad.
28:55But you spent the whole time trying to sell a ring finger by pointing.
28:58Yeah.
28:58I think you were helping out Lisa.
28:59Yeah, look, I didn't know that Lisa was going for the pointer finger but I'm happy that she
29:04gets a leg up because she needs it.
29:07You don't need to be mean.
29:09No, I was, I was, no, no.
29:10Here he is, Captain Snitchy Pooion.
29:13I mean, you were pointing so off and I thought you were hitchhiking.
29:17Yeah.
29:19Dave used his index finger 17 times.
29:21All right, ad time.
29:26Take us to the break, salesman.
29:27Husey.
29:29Ring there!
29:29Hello, welcome back.
29:46Lisa Tom.
29:47Why has everyone in the audience been locking pinkies, giving the thumbs up and asking if
29:51Husey's all right?
29:52Because we've been doing a task about fingers and Husey doesn't seem all right.
29:56Last to compete with his predictable choice of the rude finger, it's Tommy Little.
30:00G'day.
30:00My name's Malcolm.
30:02Ten years ago, my discus got stuck in the lawnmower.
30:06And I reached in with both my middle fingers to get it out.
30:09And now, I ain't got none.
30:13And you might think, has that affected your life?
30:15Yeah.
30:17Yeah, it has.
30:18The other day, I was driving in traffic and a bloke cut me off.
30:20And I said, watch where you're going.
30:23And he just thought I was enthusiastically suggesting he turn right.
30:27Fuck him.
30:28The other night, I was with my Mrs. Karen.
30:30We were lying in bed.
30:31We'd been together for 20 years.
30:33And she Dutch ovened me.
30:35And I said, oh, you cheeky little thing.
30:40It was almost completely lost on her.
30:42I was at the sport, watching my favourite football team.
30:47And the ref made a horrible decision.
30:50And I said, you're lying, Maggie.
30:53He thought I was being encouraging.
30:55It's one of the most common ways to lose your fingers in the lawnmower.
30:59So next time your discus is stuck, just leave it, yeah?
31:03Or otherwise, you'll be stuck with no medals.
31:07Like me.
31:08I'll be honest, Tom.
31:24I didn't remember doing that.
31:26And I thought maybe that was just because I drank too much.
31:29But no, I blocked that out of my memory.
31:32And I have no idea where that accent came from.
31:35Where were you from?
31:38I don't know.
31:41So you reached in under a lawnmower.
31:43To get a discus, Tom.
31:45What don't you understand?
31:46Well, I'm sort of kidding.
31:47Did you mean a discus under a lawnmower?
31:50There's a discus that has blades on it?
31:51Again, I'm not sure of the initial concept of the idea.
31:54But it appears like I'm talking for one UFO in the Olympics.
31:57It's under a lawnmower.
31:58That would have been one of those spiral things.
32:00And it would have made sense.
32:00Don't tell me what my fucking skit was.
32:05Actually, if you can tell me what my skit was.
32:13I think I have to give away some scores.
32:15Yeah.
32:15And giving away the least amount of scores is pretty easy.
32:19So Tommy's on one.
32:20Okay.
32:21Aww.
32:22Don't worry.
32:23I'm not happy about it either.
32:26And Husey gets two.
32:27Yeah, happy with that.
32:28Then I'm going to give three points to Waka.
32:32It was a beautiful story.
32:34I'm going to give four points to Lisa McKeown because I'll buy anything that she's selling
32:37because she's just so lovable.
32:40And five points to Emma because it was just a really good ad.
32:43I love that.
32:48All right.
32:48Shall we wade into one more?
32:50I think we shall.
32:51Well, we're off to the dock for this one for our first team task of the season.
33:09Hi, Emma.
33:10Hello, Thomas.
33:10How are you?
33:11I'm okay.
33:12How are you?
33:13I'm great.
33:13I like your umbrella.
33:15I like yours.
33:16Am I going to get wet?
33:17I think there's a non-zero chance that you get wet.
33:19Oh, hey.
33:23Is that Tommy?
33:24Emma, is that you?
33:25Yeah.
33:26Hi.
33:27Hello.
33:28How are you?
33:29What are you doing?
33:30Just hanging out with Tom, making good conversation.
33:33That sounds like a lie.
33:35Oh, my God.
33:36Dave.
33:37Make one of your red things touch one of your...
33:40Dave.
33:41That's Dave Hughes.
33:42Hello.
33:42Dave Hughes.
33:44Oh, Lisa.
33:45How are you?
33:47My God.
33:48How are you?
33:49I'm great.
33:50What are you doing over there?
33:52It's hard for your words to get through the rain.
33:56Yep.
33:56Hello.
33:57This is what I haven't seen you for a little while.
33:59It is.
33:59It's exactly like that.
34:00I have no idea what he's saying.
34:03Oh, my God.
34:04It's Walker.
34:05Hey, Walker.
34:06Hey, Walker.
34:08Emma.
34:08I'm Tommy.
34:09Yeah, hey, brother.
34:10How are you?
34:11I'm good.
34:12How are you?
34:12Very good.
34:13Why'd they have to put me with Tom?
34:15Yeah, I don't know.
34:17I feel like he requested it.
34:18Do I read this out now?
34:20I think he's plowing on with the task without you.
34:22Yeah.
34:22It's a task.
34:23Make one of your red things touch one of your teammates' green things.
34:27Make one of your red things...
34:28One of your green things.
34:29...to one of your yellow things.
34:32Touch one of your teammates' green or yellow things.
34:35You must remain within your designated zones.
34:39Also, every 30 seconds.
34:40You must wave to your teammates and introduce yourself again.
34:43Fastest wins.
34:45You have 45 minutes.
34:47Your time starts now.
34:50Let's do it.
34:50Now, just to be clear, did both teams have to introduce themselves every 30 seconds?
35:00No, only the team of three.
35:02Right.
35:02And that was just, because there's three of them, they got an advantage and we needed something
35:06just to even up the...
35:08And it's funny.
35:11Okay.
35:11Make your green thing, touch your red thing or your yellow thing.
35:14Sounds like a Wiggles after party.
35:17Who are we seeing first?
35:18Call them romance novels, because they need to be touching quickly.
35:21It's Wakka, Emma and Tommy.
35:23Hey, Wakka.
35:24Yes.
35:25It's me, Tommy.
35:26Hi there, good day down.
35:27Hi, Tommy.
35:28I'm Emma.
35:29Hi, Wakka.
35:29I'm Wakka, Tommy, Emma.
35:30Hi, Em.
35:31By any chance, have you got frisbees?
35:33Yep.
35:34Do you want to go three-way in the middle?
35:36I can't tell you how bad at throwing I am.
35:38You ready?
35:39Yep.
35:40I'm Tommy, by the way.
35:41I'm Emma.
35:41I'm Wakka.
35:42Nice to meet you.
35:42Emma, okay.
35:43Let's do it.
35:44One, two, three, frisbee.
35:47Oh, my gosh.
35:49You guys are shit.
35:51I told you as soon as we started that I couldn't throw.
35:55I'm Tommy, by the way.
35:56I'm Emma.
35:57Nice to meet you.
35:57I'm Emma.
35:58I'm Tommy.
35:58What's wrong?
35:59I'm Wakka.
35:59Sorry.
36:00I'm Wakka.
36:00Hi, Tommy.
36:02Wakka, what are you thinking?
36:03Can you please throw something big?
36:06I played baseball before, so I think I can hit.
36:09Oh.
36:11Well, that's all right.
36:12Wakka, what do you reckon?
36:13My guy.
36:14Let's finish task.
36:15Come on, Wakka.
36:16Thank you, Tommy.
36:17Emma, my name is Wakka.
36:20Ah, shit.
36:22I reckon we use the duct tape to tape them like this, and then we can just, like, push them
36:27across the top of the lake.
36:29Emma.
36:29Yeah.
36:30I'm Tommy.
36:31Oh, I'm Emma.
36:31Nice to meet you.
36:32How did you know my name?
36:33I hadn't introduced myself yet.
36:34I'm Emma.
36:35I'm not Emma.
36:35Sorry.
36:36Do you want to noodle it out, and I'll see if I can fish?
36:39Yeah.
36:40Oh, fucking hell.
36:41That's close to me, though.
36:44That was a great idea, Tom.
36:46I'm going to have to do more.
36:47Great, Wakka.
36:48You just keep throwing shit, bro.
36:50Ah!
36:50Oh, no.
36:51What's the comfort?
36:53I reckon I'm going to get it.
36:54Oi, fellas.
36:57I reckon I might touch the ball.
36:58Oh, Em.
36:59Em.
37:00Em.
37:01Come on.
37:02Yeah, I think that's tough.
37:04Yeah.
37:04I'm Emma, by the way.
37:08I'm Tommy.
37:09Nice to meet you guys.
37:11How do you feel?
37:13Uh, like, closer together, but also very far apart.
37:20So, Tommy, despite Emma introducing herself as Emma over and over and over again, you kept
37:25calling her Em.
37:26What's that about?
37:28Oh, when you're friendly with someone, you won't be familiar with this.
37:30Um, sometimes you shorten the name a little bit.
37:35But Emma had just introduced herself.
37:37Is it, you're getting friendly very quickly?
37:39No, I, I was into it.
37:46Now, Wakka, was it wise to try to kick a soccer ball with a gum boot on?
37:49Yep.
37:51That was also very sleepy.
37:52Do you remember?
37:52That was after the rain, so it's, uh, I try, but.
37:55Can I, can I just say, Wakka just complained about the conditions being wet.
37:59Did you see what we had to deal with, Wakka?
38:03Come on, come on.
38:04I used his walk straight back up to the umpire's chair.
38:07It was wetter at my end of the court.
38:10Look how wet it is up here.
38:12All right, no team names coming to me just yet.
38:15I don't know.
38:15I enjoyed that, but I didn't, nothing really stuck out at me.
38:18Do you want to know how long they took?
38:20Not really.
38:20Oh.
38:20I think we should, for the conceit of the show.
38:24Okay.
38:24So Tommy and Emma worked together as teammates, while Wakka kept thinking he was one of his teammates,
38:29for nine minutes and 40 seconds.
38:32Thank you, Brad.
38:36All right, so we're one part closer to finding out who's getting to take an Uber home with
38:42Husey's dead dog rattling around on their knee.
38:44Back soon.
38:45Hello, welcome back.
39:00We're in the middle of our first team task and there's exercise balls, there's noodles
39:04and all sorts of bonkers fun.
39:06Because we're crazy like that.
39:08That's right.
39:09Our teams are at the dock trying to get some of those things to touch.
39:12So far we've seen a team of Tommy, Wakka and Emma.
39:14Next up, they may be older, but can they get golder?
39:17It's Lisa and Dave.
39:19Kate, Dave.
39:20Yeah.
39:21Dread the rope through the noodle.
39:22I was thinking we could just throw both balls in the water and hope they meet.
39:27Do you want to try that first?
39:29All right.
39:30This is to win the World Cup.
39:32Yeah.
39:32For Australia.
39:33The Matildas.
39:34Let's go.
39:34Just channel Sam Kerr.
39:36I'm Sam Kerr.
39:36Mary Fowler.
39:38Get it.
39:38Yeah.
39:41That was pretty good and that is coming this way.
39:44Do you want this one too?
39:46All right.
39:46Go on two.
39:48They're going away.
39:49I need to kick it now, I think.
39:52My God!
39:54Now where do I kick?
39:55You've given me too many options.
39:57Shit!
39:57It's too long.
39:58What am I doing?
39:59Where am I kicking?
40:00You've given me too many options, Dave.
40:02And then I go, what a kick dog.
40:03God, I'm just going to kick it.
40:05One, two, no.
40:06Cut.
40:07Ah!
40:07Ah!
40:11Oh my God.
40:13I saved it.
40:14Come on, Dave.
40:15Go!
40:17Oh my God.
40:18That was such a shit kick.
40:20Oh my God.
40:21I'm not thinking straight.
40:25I'm having a shocker.
40:26Do you have anything else to throw?
40:28No, I've thrown everything.
40:29But I'm going to make one gigantic long noodle.
40:32Dave, this is going to work.
40:33I can feel it.
40:34It's just time consuming.
40:36So you need to throw your boy out.
40:38Are you going to attach the boy to the front of it?
40:40Don't throw me out.
40:41I don't know.
40:42What is this?
40:44Is there a drone?
40:45And then I'm just going to do it while he's not looking.
40:47Shit.
40:49I feel like I've got a controller here for something.
40:52I'm giving you options, Dave.
40:55Ah.
40:57But if I've got a drone.
40:59Oh my God.
41:00It's not moving.
41:01Okay, Dave.
41:02Start chucking shit at it.
41:03Go.
41:03Come on.
41:04Come on.
41:05Come on.
41:06Come on.
41:08Go.
41:10Get it over there, Lisa.
41:12Get that noodle to it.
41:14You can do this.
41:16Do it.
41:16God.
41:17You go, girl.
41:19Come on, you good thing.
41:21Hey, kick your soccer ball.
41:23I'm going to run up.
41:24Go, Dave.
41:25Australia up 1-0.
41:26There's a minute to go.
41:27I'm the goalkeeper.
41:28I've got to get the ball out of our area.
41:32Back to the other end.
41:34Come on.
41:36Yes.
41:38We did it.
41:40Dave Hughes, you're a legend.
41:42We did it.
41:42You did it.
41:43It's the A-team.
41:45The A-team.
41:46Don't get too cocky.
41:47You get that in your face, you other teams.
41:50Oh, dear.
41:50Or one other team.
41:50He's getting cocky.
41:51Don't get cocky.
41:53Yeah.
41:53Yeah.
41:54Yes.
41:54I think he's getting overexcited.
41:56We did it.
41:56Oh, my God.
42:03So you'd like to be called the A-team.
42:06I just thought we did a great job.
42:08Yeah.
42:08And my first kick was terrible as we all laughed at it.
42:10What about my second kick?
42:12It was incredible.
42:13It was a winning kick.
42:13It was a winning kick.
42:14It was a great kick, but also it was a timed task, so how long it took was important.
42:18You decide to commentate on your kick.
42:20So you stood back there, and it was a great kick, but it would have been even better without
42:24the yap-yap.
42:25Yeah, but for me, time stood still, and it was just wonderful.
42:30It was so wet.
42:31And was that a remote-controlled boat?
42:32Can't believe it.
42:33Yeah, so what happened was you found the remote-control to a remote-controlled boat that Lisa just
42:39fucked off into the water.
42:41Did we have that as well?
42:43Did we have one?
42:43Yeah.
42:44Yeah, you also had the same thing, but in your case, the boat landed upside down, but if
42:49it had landed the other way, you fiddling with the controls would have made it take off.
42:53It would have made it work, yeah.
42:54But we weren't aware that the boat was connected to the controls at any point.
42:57That was, I don't know why you're explaining that to people watching.
43:01That was very clear to everyone who's watching at home.
43:04Yeah.
43:05Okay, well, I'm pretty happy with team names that Husey came up with there.
43:08So it's like the A team, which I think is great.
43:10I mean, you said you're the A team.
43:11You are the A team.
43:12We're the A team.
43:12That makes you the B team.
43:14But A, in this case, stands for aged, because you're a bit older.
43:20And with the other team, B stands for better.
43:22So it's the aged team and the better team will be the names for the whole series.
43:27Thanks so much for helping me out with thinking up a name, Husey.
43:30I really appreciate it.
43:31No, I will cop aged.
43:32I cop it every day, no doubt.
43:34But Lisa McKeown hasn't aged a day since 1997, mate.
43:37So sorry about that.
43:38Thanks, Dave.
43:40It's on my back.
43:41So, well, I think we need to know, how long did they both take?
43:45The B team touched two things together in nine minutes and 40 seconds.
43:48Dave and Lisa, the A team, took 23 minutes and seven seconds.
43:52Oh, my God.
43:53I thought we did okay.
43:56It's okay.
43:57So it's up to you how to apportion the scores.
43:59Well, I feel like the better team gave the aged team a bit of a flogging.
44:02So I think I'm going to make it 55522.
44:04Okay.
44:08And in terms of episode scores, there's four people with scores,
44:11but almost none of that really matters,
44:12because charging away with it is Emma on nearly the maximum possible 19 points.
44:19Okay.
44:20Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show.
44:30All right, kiddo, who's going to read the task?
44:32Tommy Little.
44:34Hang the hangers on your rack.
44:37Before you toss a hanger,
44:38you must be wearing its t-shirt in the traditional way.
44:41You must remain on your mat,
44:43and your mat cannot move.
44:45For every hanger that misses,
44:46you must give a compliment to the person next to you about their outfit.
44:49Most hangers hung wins.
44:52You have 180 seconds.
44:55Are we ready to go?
44:56Yeah.
44:56Yeah.
44:56Yeah.
44:57Here we go.
45:05Oh, you.
45:06I love you.
45:07Oh, that's gross.
45:12Oh, that's a beautiful shirt.
45:16Oh, that's a beautiful shirt everywhere.
45:18Come on.
45:19Come on.
45:20Ah!
45:21You're gorgeous in orange.
45:23You look amazing.
45:24You look amazing.
45:25Beautiful.
45:26You, I love your...
45:27I love everything.
45:29Lisa, compliment.
45:30Dave, you're great in green.
45:32Yeah!
45:33Come on!
45:34Come on!
45:35Come on!
45:36Here we go.
45:38Oh!
45:39You look bitching in orange!
45:43Ah!
45:44One minute left.
45:45No!
45:46Oh!
45:47Yeah!
45:48That is so clever I'm gonna do that.
45:49Yes!
45:50Yes!
45:51Oh!
45:52Oh!
45:53Yeah!
45:54Oh!
45:55Oh!
45:56Oh!
45:57Oh!
45:58Oh!
45:59Oh!
46:00Oh!
46:01Oh!
46:02Oh!
46:03Oh!
46:04Oh!
46:05Oh!
46:06Oh!
46:07Oh!
46:08Oh!
46:09Oh!
46:10Oh!
46:11Oh!
46:12Oh!
46:13Oh!
46:14Oh!
46:15Oh!
46:17Oh!
46:18Oh!
46:19Oh!
46:20Oh!
46:21Oh!
46:22Oh!
46:2310!
46:2410!
46:259!
46:268!
46:277!
46:286!
46:295!
46:304!
46:313!
46:322!
46:331!
46:34Oh!
46:35Oh!
46:36Oh!
46:37Oh!
46:38Oh!
46:39Oh!
46:40and find out who wins the concept of maths.
46:43See you after the break.
46:58Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:01The T-shirts have not been hung
47:02and we're hanging on to find out who's going to win the episode.
47:06OK, sweet curly-haired boy, give us some scores.
47:09Well, we had what is inarguably a tie, I would say.
47:12Contrary to what Husey was saying,
47:14there was nothing in the rules against sabotage.
47:16It's up to you how much we're giving all of our contestants.
47:19Well, I don't feel like they equally came first,
47:21I feel like they equally came last.
47:22So I think everyone gets zero.
47:24OK.
47:29I'm allowed to say that's disappointing, aren't I?
47:31Yeah, yeah, add someone on the show.
47:33For you, it's disappointing,
47:34but for viewers at home, it's deeply satisfying.
47:37Some of them will be unhappy.
47:39You'll get emails.
47:41Now you've got to go make up an email address.
47:45There'll be no emails.
47:47And who does this mean won our first episode?
47:5016 points.
47:51Puts Wacker in second,
47:52meaning our winner with 19 points is Emma Holland.
47:54All right.
47:56Congratulations, Emma.
47:57Get up there and claim your misunderstood things.
48:02APPLAUSE
48:03Well, there we go.
48:04What have we learned?
48:05Well, we learned that no matter what it is
48:07or where it's been,
48:08it's probably been up Tommy's arse.
48:10We learned that Dave Hughes has a dead dog
48:12and a propensity for snitching.
48:15And those things might be connected.
48:18And most of all,
48:19we've learned that Emma is the winner.
48:21Good night!
48:21How are we going, baby cakes?
48:43We're going pretty well, Puppa Strudel.
48:46Yes!
48:47Thomas!
48:48Competing for the Taskmaster Trophy are five comedians.
48:50Sorry, four comedians and Lisa McCune.
48:53Oh my gosh.
48:54Sorry, three comedians and Tommy Little and Lisa McCune.
48:57Sorry, I'll start again.
48:59Competing are five humans.
49:00Sorry, four humans and Dave Hughes.
49:03Wait up.
49:03You really are lesser in every way, aren't you?
49:06Oh, no!
49:08I might have a breakdown.
49:09It was almost probably the best task ever in the history of the show.
49:13Sorry, because I tuned out a bit in the middle.
49:16Woo!
49:16Ah!
49:17You dickheads!
49:19Yes!
49:20Thanks, Dave.
49:21Tommy, back up.
49:21Lisa.
49:21Come on.
49:22So I shouldn't use logic,
49:23I should just go on how I feel.
49:25Absolutely.
49:26The way women do.
49:27LAUGHTER
49:28APPLAUSE
49:29Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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