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  • 6/18/2025
Louisa Jacobson, Taissa Farmiga, and Denée Benton may play characters expected to follow strict etiquette on ‘The Gilded Age,’ but do their real-life manners hold up? The co-stars put their common courtesy to the test—from how to handle being turned away at a party (no problem, their couches are waiting) to what to do when someone won’t stop texting in the theater. They’re not above pressing the “door close” button in the elevator, but they’ll still be polite if a fan mistakes them for another celebrity (especially if it’s Dakota Fanning). And if their parents try to meddle in their love lives, they’ll ever-so-politely say, “No thank you, ma’am.”

Stream ‘The Gilded Age’ on HBO and Max.

#TaissaFarmiga #LouisaJacobson #DeneeBenton#TheGildedAge #CommonCourtesy #TownandCountry
Transcript
00:00I feel like I used to really try to be understood and, like, really feel like I needed to, like, say my piece and feel like you, da-da-da.
00:08And now I just lie.
00:10Hi, I'm Thaisa Farmiga.
00:12I'm Louisa Jacobson.
00:13I'm Danae Benton.
00:14And this is Common Courtesy with Town and Country.
00:18Do you think you have good manners?
00:20I feel like I have, like, a southern charm that maybe makes up for where I don't know the manners.
00:26I was raised to say ma'am and sir.
00:28I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't have good manners.
00:32You're rushing to catch an elevator and notice the person inside presses the door close button.
00:37What do you say to them after you manage to make it on?
00:40I wouldn't say anything.
00:41I would probably be like...
00:44Grumble, grumble.
00:45Great.
00:46You're not going to point out their new politeness.
00:48No, I wouldn't.
00:49I don't conflict.
00:50I don't think I would say anything, but I am good for, like, I'm good for, you know, a side-eye.
00:57Side-eye.
00:58Sometimes a side-eye does more than words.
00:59It has a thousand words, you know?
01:01I have 100% pressed the door close button because I don't want to socialize.
01:04That part.
01:05But it's only if I don't see them.
01:07If I hear them, then I'm like...
01:08Yeah, if I see them, I try.
01:10If I see them, I'm like, oh, please.
01:12Door open, open, open.
01:12Come on into my elevator.
01:14Open, open.
01:14Can I get you a water?
01:15You're at the theater, and the person sitting next to you has spent the entire first act of the show texting.
01:22How do you ask them to stop?
01:24First, it would start, probably, if I was noticing that it was going on a lot in the beginning, I would be doing the glare.
01:29The huff and the girl, like...
01:30Like the, like...
01:31Side-eye.
01:36You know?
01:38And usually that works.
01:42I would say, yo, bro, we're all trying to watch a movie.
01:44You can go home on your couch.
01:46Your fucking phone-off.
01:47Probably, but that's the direction I would go.
01:49And then they would say something, and then I would feel guilty.
01:51Yeah, and then there would be a fight in the theater.
01:53Hopped out.
01:55A fellow passenger asks you to switch seats on your flight so they can sit next to their significant other, but they have a middle seat.
02:03What do you do?
02:04I say, I'm sorry.
02:06I get it.
02:06I love traveling with my partner, but I prefer my seat.
02:09Have a nice flight.
02:11I feel so guilty.
02:13No, it's a middle seat.
02:14It's uncomfortable.
02:14If it's just, like, a quick little afternoon flight and I'm going to be watching my movies, I might let them have it.
02:20But if I'm trying to get comfortable, you know?
02:23Never.
02:24And honestly, a little bit of distance is good for a relationship.
02:27You should miss each other.
02:27It spices things up.
02:28Okay.
02:30I'm adamant about this one.
02:31That's fair.
02:31Never give up your seat for a middle seat.
02:33I like that.
02:33Have a little alone time.
02:35Gosh.
02:35Enough with the codependency.
02:36Grow up.
02:37Yeah.
02:38A friend hasn't responded to your text all day, but you see them posting on social media.
02:43What do you say to them?
02:45Usually, that's me.
02:47Yeah, so what do people say?
02:49What are the kind of texts you've received?
02:51Text me back, bitch.
02:53I was going to be like, that's what I would say.
02:54They're like, bitch, you having fun on Instagram?
02:56I would take, like, a screenshot of their post and then text them.
02:59Yeah, something slightly past.
03:00I'd be like, I know you're on your phone.
03:01So, if I need a response, or if it's, like, receipts, so you can't argue back.
03:09Proof.
03:10You have an egotistical family member who is making everyone uncomfortable with rude remarks
03:15at a gathering you're attending.
03:17How do you get them to stop?
03:19Pow.
03:19I think you gather with the other people and you just, like, roast the hell out of them.
03:26I mean, I would say I would make some pretty amazing passive-aggressive remarks.
03:29Yeah, you've got to crack on them.
03:31And if that doesn't work, I would pull them aside and be like, what the is wrong with you?
03:35I just feel like if we're giving egotistical, like, you're not going to have, like, a good
03:40direct conversation.
03:42You just kind of have to, like, give them a taste of their own medicine, put them into
03:45submission.
03:46Oh.
03:47I grew up with brothers.
03:48You know, you just have to, like, use dom them.
03:50You've got to, like, crack exactly a collective crack on them until they fold.
03:56I like that.
03:57You attend an exclusive industry event, but are turned away at the door because the party
04:05has reached capacity.
04:07What do you do?
04:08Oh, my gosh.
04:10I will go home and put my pajamas on and be totally okay with it.
04:16I would hang my head in a chain and leave.
04:20It depends on the party.
04:21I might try to call somebody.
04:23If I've had a few drinks, I'm calling someone, I'm getting into the party.
04:27If I'm sober and it's, like...
04:28And my feet are hurting already, then it's, like, okay.
04:31I can go home.
04:32My couch is comfortable.
04:33Yeah, to me, that's a thank you so much.
04:35I am free to go home.
04:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:38Your parents are insisting on setting you up on a blind date because they don't approve
04:42of your current significant other.
04:44How do you get out of that situation?
04:46I just say, hell no.
04:48There's no manners there.
04:49I'm like, don't put into my life.
04:51Hmm.
04:51I love you.
04:53Ma'am.
04:54Ma'am.
04:55I think I would be like, thank you so much.
04:58I know your motive is because you love me and you're concerned for me, but I'm in charge
05:03of my life.
05:03Wow, that's really articulate.
05:05Hmm.
05:06I feel like I used to really try to be understood and, like, really feel like I needed to, like,
05:11say my piece and feel like you, da-da-da.
05:14And now I just lie.
05:16I'm like, I'm busy.
05:17Oh, my God, I'm going to be in France.
05:19I honestly just can't be in there.
05:21I just can't be in there.
05:22It's just, like, a void.
05:22Yeah.
05:23I just can't lay out.
05:23Who has the time?
05:24No, early twice.
05:25Can't make it work.
05:26You're hosting a party that all of your friends have RSVP'd yes to.
05:31However, it's an hour past start time and no one has shown.
05:34Um, so how do you proceed?
05:36That's difficult, though.
05:38Um, that's happened to me.
05:39And I just drank.
05:42I get, like, severe hosting anxiety.
05:45Oh, yeah.
05:45Like, I hate feeling responsible.
05:47So part of me would be, like, secretly hoping that maybe the party's canceled.
05:52Like, if it was, like, three hours and no one was showing up, I would call my best friends
05:58and cry.
05:58Yeah.
05:59Oh, my God, that was so embarrassing.
06:01You didn't call them at all.
06:01Yeah.
06:02And I was already nervous that we were going to be a mate conversation.
06:06Yeah.
06:07You're out to dinner at a very fancy restaurant, and the person you're with keeps complaining
06:12to the server about each course.
06:14What do you do?
06:15That's so annoying.
06:17Hmm.
06:18Did it say fancy dinner or just a dinner?
06:20Very fancy restaurant.
06:21Very fancy.
06:22If it's a very fancy restaurant, there is a level of expectation.
06:27But also, I would be scared someone's going to spit in my food because you're being so annoying.
06:32You know what I mean?
06:34People are a bit vindictive.
06:35I feel like I would say it, like, after the meal.
06:38Like, on the way home, be like, yo.
06:41Seems like you hate that.
06:42That energy was a little stank.
06:44Can we talk about it?
06:45It kind of, like, harshed my mellow.
06:48But I am the person, like, if the person I'm with is nervous to say something, I'm, like,
06:52quick to be their person.
06:53To jump in.
06:54Yeah.
06:54Like, hey, there's actually something.
06:56Hey, do you actually look like.
06:57Caretaking.
06:57Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:59Sure.
07:00You meet a fan who is gushing over your performance in a movie you were never in.
07:04They admit meeting you is their dream.
07:06How do you break it to them that you are not who they think?
07:11If the person seems sweet, maybe I just, you know, like, play along.
07:18I just be like, uh-huh, it's crazy, right?
07:20Wow.
07:21And then leave.
07:22But if they start asking questions for you, or if it's someone who seems a bit pushy,
07:26sometimes you have people that come that are just, you know, don't have spatial boundaries,
07:29et cetera, I'd be like, bro, that's not me.
07:32I mean, I've gotten called Dakota Fanning, and I was like, that's not okay.
07:35I think that if they're not asking for a picture, I would let it rock.
07:39But if they're asking for a picture, I would be like, oh, you're mistaken.
07:42But I love them.
07:44But it would be even funnier, though, and then they post it, then they get, like, ragged on
07:48because it's not the right person.
07:50Thanks so much for watching us on Town & Country.
07:52You can catch The Gilded Age on HBO and Max.
08:05You can catch The Gilded Age on HBO and Max.
08:19Bye.

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