- 6/17/2025
The story begins with Cousin Eddie at his latest job, a nuclear power plant where he "works" alongside a chimpanzee. When the chimpanzee outperforms him in all of the tests (especially mental agility), the decision is made to fire him. Upon hearing the news, the two argue and the chimpanzee bites him.
As Christmas approaches, Eddie is concerned about the consequences that losing his job will have on him and his family and decides to talk to his former boss. Although it never occurs to him, the nuclear company is convinced that he will sue. As a preventative measure, they offer him and his family (along with Audrey Griswold and Uncle Nick) a free vacation to an island in the South Pacific. During the vacation, they go on a boat trip. While Eddie tries to catch a shark, they get lost and eventually shipwreck on a remote island. In the end, Eddie manages to prove himself as a man, providing for his family and they all celebrate Christmas together on the island. Shortly afterward, they are rescued, although when the pilot becomes incapacitated, it is up to Eddie to land the rescue plane safely. Once on the ground, Eddie finds he has his job back.
As Christmas approaches, Eddie is concerned about the consequences that losing his job will have on him and his family and decides to talk to his former boss. Although it never occurs to him, the nuclear company is convinced that he will sue. As a preventative measure, they offer him and his family (along with Audrey Griswold and Uncle Nick) a free vacation to an island in the South Pacific. During the vacation, they go on a boat trip. While Eddie tries to catch a shark, they get lost and eventually shipwreck on a remote island. In the end, Eddie manages to prove himself as a man, providing for his family and they all celebrate Christmas together on the island. Shortly afterward, they are rescued, although when the pilot becomes incapacitated, it is up to Eddie to land the rescue plane safely. Once on the ground, Eddie finds he has his job back.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:04Mm-hmm.
00:01:05Where do you live?
00:01:06Well, my mom and dad and I are staying with my cousin, Audrey Biswa.
00:01:11She's visiting a boyfriend in Indianapolis.
00:01:13So what can I have sitting for?
00:01:15You know, over the holidays?
00:01:17Well, this is where I live.
00:01:20My dad's a brain surgeon.
00:01:22What's your dad do?
00:01:23Um, he works in nuclear research.
00:01:27Oh, he's a nuclear scientist?
00:01:30Well, not exactly.
00:01:37So we inject them with nuclear waste, and then we study their brain waves and other organs
00:01:55to examine the effects of the nuclear waste on various species of anthropoids.
00:02:02Let's just look at the
00:02:12Fascinating, Professor.
00:02:33But tell me, they're playing tic-tac-toe, and the chimpanzee appears to be winning.
00:02:40How is this possible?
00:02:42Because the monkey is smarter.
00:02:57I'm sorry, Eddie, we just got this directive from Washington, and they're cutting costs.
00:03:02We've been ordered to cut our study group by half.
00:03:05So, from now on, we're only working till noon?
00:03:09No, Eddie, I'm afraid this is between you and Roy.
00:03:12One of you has to go.
00:03:15Oh.
00:03:18Gee, Roy, that's a tough break.
00:03:21Well, don't worry.
00:03:23You land on your feet.
00:03:24It's not Roy we're letting go, Eddie.
00:03:26It's you.
00:03:27Well, why don't you fire him?
00:03:33I mean, what has he got that I ain't got?
00:03:35His brain waves register more distinctly than yours.
00:03:40Which one's mine?
00:03:41The one labeled Eddie.
00:03:43Oh.
00:03:44I'll check other branches and see if there's anything else available for you.
00:03:48Oh, Eddie!
00:03:56Merry Christmas!
00:03:57I can't understand why they let me go.
00:04:21Just before Christmas.
00:04:22I worked hard, too.
00:04:26I even helped plug the wires in my head.
00:04:29That's more than Roy did.
00:04:32It's just like the time the goat kicked me in the teeth for milking her with the vacuum cleaner.
00:04:38Eddie, don't feel so bad.
00:04:41Dad, you know that monkey's pretty smart.
00:04:44Oh, you'll find another job.
00:04:47You're real good at it.
00:04:49Yeah, you've done it lots of times.
00:04:51Just a total flop.
00:04:54Let's face it.
00:04:55No, Eddie!
00:04:57Not total.
00:04:59That's true, Mom.
00:05:01Total.
00:05:01I mean, this is the sixth job Dad's lost since they foreclosed on the farm.
00:05:06And now he's lost out to a monkey.
00:05:08Third, that's a terrible thing to say.
00:05:11Well, the boy's right.
00:05:15I'm just one big disappointment.
00:05:20I'm sorry I let you down.
00:05:22You're not a failure.
00:05:41And we have a lot to be thankful for.
00:05:44We've got a wonderful family.
00:05:46We're all together.
00:05:47Well, except for four of the kids who are staying with Grandma and our daughter who's in show business.
00:05:53But we've got one real smart kid.
00:05:55Yeah.
00:05:55He thinks his daddy's dumb.
00:05:57Eddie, no.
00:05:59Oh, no.
00:06:00Third has faith in you.
00:06:01And he thinks you're real smart.
00:06:03Well, he thinks you have a good sense of humor.
00:06:10Well, Eddie, I know this has been a big disappointment to you, but we'll figure something out.
00:06:15And at least we've got a roof over our heads, huh?
00:06:17Yeah, but for how long?
00:06:19I bet in a year or two, Audrey will get sick of us living here and feeding us.
00:06:27He thinks I've got a real good sense of humor, huh?
00:06:29That's it.
00:06:36God darn it, I'm going to do it.
00:06:38What?
00:06:39I'm going to take a hot bath.
00:06:40I can't sleep.
00:06:43You know what the preacher said that time I got fired from that job testing them second-hand recliners?
00:06:48Things can only get better.
00:06:51That was the day before the bank foreclosed on the dirt farm.
00:06:59I'm going to take a hot bath.
00:07:29I'll take it from here.
00:07:55Audrey left us with an emergency number.
00:07:57I'm going to call the 24-hour emergency plumber.
00:08:00They never close.
00:08:03Oh, there was interesting or plumbing.
00:08:11I can't reach out.
00:08:12The line's busy.
00:08:16Oh, I've got to be washed away.
00:08:19Boy, to do a man's job.
00:08:21I need dinner on Christmas.
00:08:29Hi, and Merry Christmas.
00:08:32This is the ever-ready plumbing service.
00:08:34They're just you.
00:08:36Using your touchstone phone, please select from the following menu to accommodate your need.
00:08:40Um, I have a big problem here.
00:08:43On our sales department for the latest in bathroom and kitchen fixtures, press 1.
00:08:48And Merry Christmas.
00:08:50What?
00:08:51Merry Christmas, dude.
00:08:52If you would like our billing department for your latest billing information, or to ask about our handy layaway plan, press 2.
00:09:00Unless you'd like to talk to Wally Evans, our vice president of finance.
00:09:05That office is open from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
00:09:07And did I wish you a Merry Christmas?
00:09:10Yes, you did.
00:09:11Merry Christmas to you.
00:09:12Can you hear me?
00:09:14If you'd like to talk to our president, Harry Burns, please press 3.
00:09:18Hello?
00:09:18Hello?
00:09:18For Cat Lee, Harry's secretary, or Julie Lentzian personnel, or Billy in the middle of your best award.
00:09:26If you'd like our four-color brochure on our important Parisian bidets, press 5 and ask for Antoine.
00:09:33Fall between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. and 3.
00:09:36Have a safe, secure, pleasant Christmas.
00:09:39Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
00:09:49Oh, what fun it is to ride in one's open sleigh.
00:09:53Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
00:09:57Oh, hi, Eddie.
00:09:58I didn't see you come in.
00:09:59I have your severance check.
00:10:01Merry Christmas.
00:10:03Thanks, Jennifer.
00:10:05Oh, Eddie, what are you doing here?
00:10:06Are you here for your severance check?
00:10:07Yeah, well, Professor Dornitz, I wanted to talk to you.
00:10:12I've been thinking, you know, and, well, I really like this job,
00:10:17and I was wondering if you could kind of reconsider letting Roy go and keeping me on.
00:10:24He ain't that smart.
00:10:27He just pretended to read.
00:10:31Oh, dear.
00:10:33Oh, I get it.
00:10:35I get it.
00:10:36You know, the thing about atomic energy and monkeys is, uh, oh, uh, oh.
00:10:47He'll be fine.
00:10:49You pump so much atomic waste into him that the area where the chimp in him healed almost immediately.
00:10:54Thank God.
00:10:55And most importantly, the chimp is okay.
00:10:57Oh, yeah.
00:10:58And what about a possible lawsuit?
00:11:00This guy's got one hell of a case.
00:11:02He's not too bright.
00:11:04I'll think of something.
00:11:09And all expense paid Christmas vacation on an island in the South Pacific.
00:11:15But you didn't get your job back.
00:11:18They kept the monkey.
00:11:19Well, Roy had a contract.
00:11:23Iron clad.
00:11:25You lost another job.
00:11:27And you and the monkey were the only ones who applied for the job.
00:11:30I mean, this is just another disaster.
00:11:34Like back home, we had to quit being a male owner dentist after you stapled the mare's mouth together.
00:11:40Third, your father remembers that.
00:11:42You don't have to remind him.
00:11:44I think this is exciting.
00:11:46A Christmas vacation in the South Seas.
00:11:49Tropical nights.
00:11:51Beautiful white beaches.
00:11:52Luau.
00:11:53No cable TV.
00:11:56Probably no fast food.
00:11:58Oh, they got fast food.
00:11:59They got fried food everywhere.
00:12:01I think we should look at this positively.
00:12:04I mean, we've never had a real vacation.
00:12:06It'll be an adventure.
00:12:07Yeah, you know, Professor Darns, he said that we're staying in the best motel in the whole Pacific Ocean.
00:12:13It'll probably be in a tree.
00:12:16Why don't I just stay here with Cousin Audrey for Christmas?
00:12:20I mean, Paige is here.
00:12:21No, no, no, no.
00:12:23We're going to stick together.
00:12:25No kid of mine is going off on their own until they're 13.
00:12:31Catherine?
00:12:32Cousin Eddie?
00:12:34I'm going to kill myself.
00:12:38Merry Christmas!
00:12:43Audrey!
00:12:44What's wrong?
00:12:46What happened?
00:12:48Daniel and I, we broke up.
00:12:51It's over.
00:12:54The great love of my life, and it's over.
00:12:59I will never find true love again.
00:13:03I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about killing myself.
00:13:08Or, or eating large amounts of ice cream.
00:13:13I'd go for that ice cream deal.
00:13:14Could you imagine something that terrible happening right before Christmas?
00:13:22I mean, we were perfect together.
00:13:25We both liked the History Channel and Japanese food and raindrops on roses and little whiskers
00:13:32on kittens.
00:13:34But Audrey, if you were so great together, why'd you break up?
00:13:38Oh.
00:13:39Found out he was married.
00:13:42That'll do it.
00:13:47Thanks for inviting me to stay with you at the hotel in Maluka, Catherine.
00:13:51Uh-huh.
00:13:52I need total relaxation, and the South Pacific sounds just great.
00:13:56Oh, it'll be great having you with us, Audrey.
00:13:59And you know, Eddie needs relaxation, too.
00:14:01What with him losing his atomic research job.
00:14:05I don't know why, boy, but I got a feeling this trip's going to be real good for us.
00:14:09I don't know why either, Dad.
00:14:11Hey, Doc.
00:14:16Doc.
00:14:17Go get it.
00:14:20Go get it, bud.
00:14:21Go get it.
00:14:22Go.
00:14:23Catherine, when they test Eddie for reaction from all that stuff he's exposed to, does it
00:14:28have any effect on him?
00:14:30No, he's fine.
00:14:32And you know, the plate in his head has become quite a good bug zapper.
00:14:35Surprise those little fellas.
00:14:38Whew.
00:14:41Yeah, I know, things ain't been so great for us the last 30, 40 years, boy.
00:14:48You know, maybe this is a new beginning.
00:14:52Maybe this is the time things start to go right.
00:14:58Visiting a new country.
00:15:11Maybe I just needed this time to follow my passion.
00:15:23You know, Audrey, Eddie's really worried.
00:15:28He's sort of run out of careers.
00:15:30I don't know if you've noticed, but he's not perfect.
00:15:32No one in his family is.
00:15:35Third's perfect.
00:15:37Yeah.
00:15:39Third's perfect.
00:15:40He takes after my side of the family.
00:15:43All of our other kids take after Eddie.
00:15:45Except for our daughter.
00:15:46She's a marvelous stripper.
00:15:48You should have never let the agency off the hook.
00:16:02The monkey bit you, and you took a Christmas vacation.
00:16:06We could have found a good lawyer and sued them for a fortune.
00:16:09I don't think so.
00:16:11Professor Dornitz, he felt that I insulted Roy.
00:16:16It's not.
00:16:18Hey, hey, hey.
00:16:19Here.
00:16:20Go get it.
00:16:21Hello.
00:16:36Merry Christmas.
00:16:38Can I come in?
00:16:42Uncle Nick!
00:16:44Merry Christmas!
00:16:45Audrey, this is Eddie's Uncle Nick.
00:16:48What's wrong?
00:16:49Nothing.
00:16:50Can I come in?
00:16:51Uncle Nick!
00:16:54This is a prize.
00:16:56What are you doing here?
00:16:57Merry Christmas.
00:16:59I came here to die.
00:17:00Now can I come in and die sitting down?
00:17:03So Aunt Jessica ran off with the Christmas tree delivery man?
00:17:07A 28-year-old delivery man.
00:17:10I didn't know they'd deliver.
00:17:12A 28-year-old runs off with a 66-year-old grandmother?
00:17:15I didn't think grandmothers thought about sex and stuff like that.
00:17:21Apparently the thought entered her mind.
00:17:23I'm so sorry, Uncle Nick.
00:17:25I'm sure she'll come back to you.
00:17:28She was 17 when we were married.
00:17:31I was the first man I ever touched her.
00:17:34I guess now there's a second.
00:17:38Uncle Nick, how come you're wearing a Santa Claus jacket?
00:17:40When he took off with Jessica, he grabbed my good jacket and left me with this.
00:17:45I just can't sit around that house all day, all alone, Eddie.
00:17:50I thought I might spend some time with you.
00:17:54Oh, gee, Uncle Nick.
00:17:56Roy bit me on the ass and I lost my job.
00:17:59We're all taking off on an all-expense-paid Christmas vacation.
00:18:03You lost another job?
00:18:05Yeah.
00:18:06Roy bit you on the ass?
00:18:08Who's Roy?
00:18:09Oh, me and Roy, we work together.
00:18:11So we're all flying out tomorrow.
00:18:13Audrey's coming with us.
00:18:15Daniel was married.
00:18:18Daniel?
00:18:19Who's Daniel?
00:18:21Oh, never mind.
00:18:22I don't care.
00:18:25Where are you going on your vacation?
00:18:27Somewhere warm?
00:18:29It's hot.
00:18:30I'm going with you.
00:18:32I don't like Christmas when it snows.
00:18:36It's too sentimental.
00:18:37Daddy, come on.
00:18:43We're going to miss us way more.
00:18:49Don't forget my back.
00:18:52You got room for this?
00:18:53Look.
00:18:53Sir, did you get Scott's pill?
00:19:08Yeah.
00:19:09He's getting tired already.
00:19:10And he's got a little bit of gas.
00:19:12Yeah, that gave him a little something to calm him down.
00:19:14He's never gone before.
00:19:16Then again, neither have I.
00:19:17Attention all passengers.
00:19:39Please watch your luggage, your children, and all other vouchers.
00:19:43And Merry Christmas.
00:19:49No, look at the line.
00:19:52We'll never make the plane.
00:19:55Let's go.
00:19:56Oh, thank you.
00:20:04Oh, thank you.
00:20:06Thanks a lot.
00:20:07Oh, this is all right.
00:20:10Thanks a lot.
00:20:11It wasn't so good.
00:20:14Oh, thank you.
00:20:15Oh, thank you.
00:20:16Oh, ha.
00:20:18Merry Christmas.
00:20:19Anyone lose a bowling ball?
00:20:21Anyone lose a bowling ball?
00:20:23No.
00:20:29Come on.
00:20:31I hear sometimes they run out of peanuts.
00:20:34Whoa!
00:20:35Ow!
00:20:36Oh!
00:20:37Yeah!
00:20:38Whoa!
00:20:39Whoa!
00:20:42Whoa!
00:20:43Whoa!
00:20:43Whoa!
00:20:44Whoa!
00:20:44Whoa!
00:20:45Whoa!
00:20:45Whoa!
00:20:46Whoa!
00:20:46Whoa!
00:20:48Whoa!
00:20:48Whoa!
00:20:49Whoa!
00:20:49Whoa!
00:20:50Whoa!
00:20:51Whoa!
00:20:51Whoa!
00:20:52Whoa!
00:20:52Whoa!
00:20:53No, I'm fine.
00:20:54No damage.
00:20:55I've got all the usual number of arms and legs.
00:20:58I'm sorry.
00:20:59I didn't even see you.
00:21:00Oh, yeah.
00:21:01It's quite all right.
00:21:01It's quite all right.
00:21:02Just, you know, just a few superficial breaks.
00:21:05Sort of thing happens to me all the time.
00:21:07You're a foreigner, ain't you?
00:21:09What are you?
00:21:10Uh, I'm English.
00:21:12Oh!
00:21:13Well, you sure do talk, pretty.
00:21:15Thanks very much.
00:21:15Well, we did sort of invent the language.
00:21:18No hard feelings?
00:21:19No feelings whatsoever.
00:21:20Well, I...
00:21:20Fuck...
00:21:21He's all right.
00:21:26He's English.
00:21:27I understood every word he said.
00:21:28Oh!
00:21:30Oh!
00:21:32Merry Christmas.
00:21:33Raise your arms, please.
00:21:35Ooh!
00:21:35Ooh!
00:21:36Ooh!
00:21:36Ooh!
00:21:37Ooh!
00:21:38Ooh!
00:21:38Attention! Attention, please! Did anybody lose this?
00:22:02Hey, look at all those people down there. They look like ants.
00:22:07Those are ants, Dad.
00:22:08The plane hasn't taken off yet.
00:22:32Boy, that's a big ocean out there. A lot of water.
00:22:36A lot of water.
00:22:51Penis, gentlemen.
00:22:52Lunch!
00:22:55Thank you!
00:22:56Don't cry, Audrey. It's only a book. I'm not crying about the book. I'm crying about Daniel. Everything reminds me of him. These peanuts. He used to love peanuts. He's the love of my life, Catherine. I'll never love again. Never.
00:23:11I'll never see Indianapolis again.
00:23:13I'll never see Indianapolis again.
00:23:15Isn't that what you said about Daschle? That was just a passing thing. I thought you went with him for a year.
00:23:19Pass slowly.
00:23:21Actually, Dad, the Pacific Ocean is 164, 384 million square miles an area. 18 times the size of the United States.
00:23:23I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:23:25It's a great deal. I'm fresh. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How long?
00:23:27I don't know. I don't know.
00:23:41You don't know what it is.
00:23:43Actually, Dad, the Pacific Ocean is 164, 384 million square miles an area. 18 times the size of the United States.
00:23:51It was named by the explorer Magellan because when he first saw it, it was so tranquil he called it the Pacific.
00:24:21Peanut. Thank you.
00:25:21the bathroom. Oh, wow. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Beautiful. Oh, wow. Here you go, Uncle Nick. This one here is a willard. Hey, Bird, you see about getting snotts out of baggage area?
00:25:51They're bringing him out, Dad. He's still asleep. The local authorities insisted that they fumigate him first. They didn't like the way he smelled. That's funny. I never noticed he smelled bad. Dad, small animals pass out when he walks by them. Hi, are you the Johnson family? Merry Christmas. Hello. I'm Luca like a Mickey, Mr. Johnson. I work for the
00:26:20Atomic Testing Agency here in Malooka. You're a guest. Well, nice to meet you, Luca Vickie Hickey.
00:26:34Eddie?
00:26:35Eddie? Oh, this is my wife, Catherine, and cousin Audrey, and our son, Third the Third, and us here is Uncle Nick.
00:26:47Hi there. Hi. Nick... Nick Jugson. At your service. Oh. Oh. Oh. I'll get you to your motel. Then I thought you'd want the rest of the day to get unpacked and stuff, and then tomorrow I could show you the island. Oh, and your hand. The agency wants to give you special treatment. They're really sorry about the monkey biting you. Oh, well, I heal fast, but this is the way you folks show your apologies.
00:27:16That monkey can bite my ass every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
00:27:21You folks here are treating us in style. Well, I planned a big day for us. This morning, we're going to walk around the town and get to know it a little. This is Native Shops, and I need a manicure.
00:27:48Then, uh, we can change to beach clothes and have a native Christmas cookout for lunch. Sort of a mini-Luel.
00:27:54Oh, that's a lot. Oh, wow. And this afternoon, I've charted a small boat, and I thought we'd tour some of the islands. Oh, that's great!
00:28:01Hear that, Uncle Nick, going on a boat? Yeah, that's what it all said at one date.
00:28:06I like an alloy
00:28:09I like an alloy
00:28:24Great
00:28:27Stop! Stop!
00:28:36Hey, Mooka, who sequins that over there?
00:28:41That's Jack Maltby, Melbourne Jack.
00:28:44He's an Aussie.
00:28:45He owns a hotel near here on his own private island.
00:28:48He's a great guy.
00:28:50There's more coming, honey.
00:28:53These ribs are great, Mooka Kizzy.
00:28:56Ribs and pineapple, those are big Christmas dishes.
00:28:59And fried eel.
00:29:00Fried eel?
00:29:01Fried?
00:29:02Wow.
00:29:03Am I invited for lunch?
00:29:07Sure, Jack.
00:29:08Come on in.
00:29:10Hi, Mooka Lakamiki.
00:29:11Thanks for the invite.
00:29:12Hi, Jack.
00:29:13How are ya?
00:29:14Hi.
00:29:15I'm Andre Griswold.
00:29:17Oh, he just arrived.
00:29:19Love the island.
00:29:20Fabulous place.
00:29:21Are you married?
00:29:22Out here.
00:29:23Freddie Johnson.
00:29:28I'm Eddie.
00:29:29He's here, Duncan Nick.
00:29:31That's my boy.
00:29:32Whoa.
00:29:33He's here at my wife's tavern.
00:29:35Deal?
00:29:36Like I said, this is a beautiful place.
00:29:39Would you like to take me on a tour?
00:29:41Sure.
00:29:42What a charming man.
00:29:47What's that smell?
00:29:49Hold on, it's a good one.
00:29:51It's time for the boat, you guys.
00:29:52Let's pack up.
00:29:53Oh, okay.
00:29:54There, grab your stuff.
00:29:55And someone put out the fire.
00:29:56Oh, son.
00:29:57I'm a fool.
00:29:58All right, you just didn't digest.
00:29:59I'll pack up.
00:30:00Ugh.
00:30:01Not.
00:30:02Not that one.
00:30:03I hope they got a pooper on this thing.
00:30:05That fried eel's headed due south.
00:30:07Captain Lynch.
00:30:08Captain Lynch.
00:30:09Who's from Captain Lynch?
00:30:10His wife is having a baby and he has to deliver it.
00:30:12He says we can take the boat out if we want to.
00:30:13If we know how to run a boat.
00:30:14If we know how to run a boat.
00:30:15No.
00:30:16No.
00:30:17No.
00:30:18No.
00:30:19No.
00:30:20No.
00:30:21No.
00:30:22No.
00:30:23No.
00:30:24No.
00:30:25No.
00:30:26No.
00:30:27No.
00:30:28No.
00:30:29No.
00:30:30No.
00:30:31No.
00:30:32No.
00:30:33No.
00:30:34No.
00:30:35No.
00:30:36No.
00:30:37No.
00:30:38No-no.
00:30:39No.
00:30:40No.
00:30:41No.
00:30:42No.
00:30:44No.
00:30:45No.
00:30:46No.
00:30:47Now, woolen, you could say this.
00:30:48I'm willing to try.
00:30:49Forget it.
00:30:50I've got more salt under my armpits than you ever sailed on.
00:30:53Leave it to me.
00:30:54I was in the Navy.
00:30:56I was in the Navy.
00:31:06Why should this be different from an aircraft carrier?
00:31:10Aha! The keys.
00:31:13All right.
00:31:21Sometimes you just don't think of the easy things.
00:31:24Let's go!
00:31:26Oh!
00:31:31Shouldn't we untie this first?
00:31:35Hey! Get out! Cast off!
00:31:54Uncle Nick!
00:31:56But we still have no idea why that's a task.
00:31:59No matter what I'm talking to, I haven't...
00:32:00I don't know why but there is a plan you can do.
00:32:04But anyway, I'm here to do it.
00:32:05Probably a little bit of a plot.
00:32:06It doesn't matter what I'm talking about.
00:32:08It doesn't matter what I'm talking about.
00:32:09It's not a problem.
00:32:13I don't know.
00:32:43Okay, where is it?
00:32:49What's wrong?
00:32:51The compass. I can't find the compass.
00:32:54Every boat had a compass.
00:32:57Maybe we should head back to shore.
00:32:59I think that's a good idea.
00:33:00Oh! Oh!
00:33:02Whoa!
00:33:03Whoa!
00:33:05I got a bit thick!
00:33:09Whoa!
00:33:10Hold on!
00:33:12Whoa!
00:33:13Whoa! Whoa!
00:33:15Be careful, honey. You're all tangled.
00:33:18Get a knife!
00:33:19Get a knife!
00:33:21I don't have a knife.
00:33:23I have scissors in my purse, Daddy.
00:33:25Get a knife!
00:33:27Hold on.
00:33:28Get a knife!
00:33:39I have scissors, Daddy.
00:33:40Hold on, Mr. Johnson!
00:33:49I'll be Eddie.
00:33:50Hold on, Eddie!
00:33:51Hold on, Eddie!
00:33:52Come on, Eddie.
00:34:06Come on!
00:34:09Uncle Nick! Uncle Nick!
00:34:10The boat's going backwards!
00:34:12Make it go forwards!
00:34:13Oh, my words!
00:34:37Oh, Eddie! You are a whacker!
00:34:40Who's at it?
00:34:42Did you see that?
00:34:44That fish was the biggest fish I ever saw!
00:34:47That thing was the weight of 2,000 pounds!
00:34:52That was you!
00:35:04Where are no lifeboats?
00:35:06There are no lifeboats!
00:35:12Eddie, where's the rest of you?
00:35:16Eddie, are you all right?
00:35:18Hey, they got a ukulele in here!
00:35:22Head and shoulders!
00:35:26My manicure is ruined!
00:35:36Uncle Nick, will you please take your hand off my breast?
00:35:40Is everybody okay?
00:35:42I'm okay, but...
00:35:44There's a horrible smell in here!
00:35:48Oh, God!
00:35:50Uncle Nick!
00:35:52You all right?
00:35:54I dropped my hand!
00:35:55I don't know how!
00:35:56I bit it!
00:35:57Third!
00:35:58Third!
00:35:59We've run around!
00:36:00But there's an island right there!
00:36:01You know where we are?
00:36:02I'm from Milwaukee!
00:36:03I don't know much about these islands!
00:36:06The radio!
00:36:07Let's try the radio!
00:36:08Milwaukee?
00:36:09How about your name was Maluka Malarkariki?
00:36:10Forget the radio!
00:36:11It doesn't work!
00:36:12Well, that island looks nice!
00:36:13Not too far!
00:36:14Huh?
00:36:15Huh?
00:36:16Well, that island looks nice!
00:36:17Not too far!
00:36:18Huh?
00:36:19Well, that island looks nice!
00:36:20Not too far!
00:36:21All right!
00:36:22I'm gonna try to swim to shore!
00:36:23I bet there's nothing dangerous on these islands!
00:36:24Right, Milwaukee Licky?
00:36:25I think it's safer than Milwaukee!
00:36:26Only snakes, wild dogs, wild boar!
00:36:28Wild boar?
00:36:29Well, they're like pigs!
00:36:30Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:31Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:32Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:33Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:34Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:35Some of them are like pigs!
00:36:36They're very fast!
00:36:37And real nasty!
00:36:38I'll go, Dad!
00:36:39No, boy!
00:36:40Your life's more precious than mine!
00:36:41Why?
00:36:42I don't know!
00:36:43Dad!
00:36:44Dad!
00:36:45Dad!
00:36:46Dad!
00:36:47Dad!
00:36:48Dad!
00:36:49Dad!
00:36:50Dad!
00:36:51Dad!
00:36:52Dad!
00:36:53Dad!
00:36:54Dad!
00:36:55Dad!
00:36:56Dad!
00:36:57Dad!
00:36:58Dad!
00:36:59Dad!
00:37:00Dad!
00:37:01Dad!
00:37:02Dad!
00:37:03Dad!
00:37:04Dad!
00:37:05Dad!
00:37:06Dad!
00:37:07Dad!
00:37:08Gotta talk!
00:37:09No!
00:37:10We all go.
00:37:11We all go together.
00:37:12Kathryn, I'm not afraid of a little old pig!
00:37:15Eh-y!
00:37:16You can't swim!
00:37:36Let's walk.
00:37:52Audrey, what are you doing with an electric cappuccino maker?
00:37:55I bought it in town.
00:37:56Oh.
00:37:57Somehow I doubt we'll be able to use that.
00:38:00I don't think there are too many electrical outlets on this island.
00:38:03Maybe we'll find a motel or something with an electrical outlet.
00:38:08Look! The boat's drifting away.
00:38:21Did anyone anchor the boat?
00:38:23Oh, we gotta do this wreck.
00:38:43We need food.
00:38:44Yeah, you're right, Eddie.
00:38:48Okay, here's what we brought ashore.
00:38:50We got a dozen Tootsie Rolls.
00:38:52We got some bridge mix, two six-packs of beer,
00:38:56some Hamburger Helper, and four bottles of bourbon.
00:38:58That's my kind of captain.
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:01We also got a quarter pound of moldy American cheese,
00:39:04a pack of matches,
00:39:06and a box of those little toothpicks.
00:39:08Did you put it to frankfurters?
00:39:09Only we don't have any frankfurters.
00:39:11We can use those to get the Tootsie Rolls out of our teeth.
00:39:14Oh, and Dad,
00:39:16I found a knife in the boat.
00:39:18It was in the galley.
00:39:19I haven't had a Tootsie Roll in 35 years.
00:39:22That's when I got my false teeth.
00:39:25Well,
00:39:25we got beer,
00:39:28got my favorite hunting dog.
00:39:33I could hunt for food.
00:39:36Oh, Eddie,
00:39:37the other place you ever hunted for food
00:39:39was our refrigerator.
00:39:39Eh.
00:39:41Hey,
00:39:41there's a freshwater stream back there in the forest
00:39:44and plenty of bananas everywhere.
00:39:46And we can make spears and fishing rods to hunt and fish.
00:39:49And I think I found a good place for a campsite.
00:39:51Oh,
00:39:52what?
00:39:54Cousin Eddie,
00:39:56look for a bathroom.
00:39:57Stop.
00:39:57I'll get the bourbon.
00:39:58This is the spot, everybody.
00:40:10Oh,
00:40:11it's starting to get dark.
00:40:12We better figure out where we're going to sleep.
00:40:14We'll team up,
00:40:16and there are some towels from the hotel.
00:40:20I'm all shed.
00:40:21Audrey and I will buddy up.
00:40:27Well,
00:40:27we only have three towels,
00:40:29and they're all wet.
00:40:30Well,
00:40:30if you get cold,
00:40:31your buddy's body heat will help warm me up.
00:40:34You want to rethink your sign, buddy?
00:40:37No.
00:40:37You're not that way.
00:41:00I'm just curious.
00:41:01I've been intellectually ill.
00:41:04So,
00:42:05That felt good.
00:42:24When you get to be my age, a good dump is one of the great pleasures in life.
00:42:29Well, it's all finished.
00:42:36Now, when I was walking up to the hill this morning, I saw that there was nothing here but a lot of bananas.
00:42:43So, we're going to have to hunt for some real food.
00:42:46So, let's go, third.
00:42:47Yeah.
00:42:49I'll go with you.
00:42:50Here's a game plan.
00:43:05We're going to have to split up so we can cover more ground.
00:43:08We'll use that fire on top of the hill as a landmark.
00:43:11Uncle Nick, you make a quick left and go up the left flank.
00:43:14Third, you make a wide right.
00:43:16Snots and I'll go right up the middle and victory will be ours.
00:43:20What am I supposed to do if I run into a wild animal?
00:43:23Throw my banana at him?
00:43:25Good thinking.
00:43:26Have you ever heard of barking or pointing?
00:43:54How about a little warning here?
00:43:57Give me a little heads up next time.
00:44:10Why are you coming?
00:44:24Oh, my.
00:44:43Oh, my.
00:44:49Oh, my.
00:44:50Oh, my.
00:44:50Oh, my.
00:44:54Oh, my God.
00:45:01Yes!
00:45:22Oh, my God.
00:45:23Any luck hunting honey?
00:45:39No.
00:45:40Almost got a bird.
00:45:43But all I saw are nanners.
00:45:49Did you guys have any luck?
00:45:50no that's it
00:45:55I ain't walked as much as my last visit to walmart
00:46:00hey everybody you know it'll be christmas in three days
00:46:04it is oh do you know with all the excitement of the shipwreck and everything
00:46:10I guess I just forgot all about christmas
00:46:12well I guess we will have to forget about it this year
00:46:16yeah it's my first christmas without mom and dad
00:46:19well this is my first christmas without gifts
00:46:23no tree no santa no real food no eggnog
00:46:28hey we could still have christmas we can have an island christmas
00:46:34well that's a real good idea mookinooki an island christmas
00:46:39why not think of that what is an island christmas
00:46:42well every year we celebrate the things that we're most thankful for
00:46:47we're all alive and we're all together that's worth celebrating
00:46:52you're pretty damn easy to please
00:46:55what about the gifts
00:46:57we have the whole island
00:46:59let's think of something we can all give to each other
00:47:02how about a full body massage
00:47:07uncle nick
00:47:09the islands can be very magical full of many gifts
00:47:14all you have to do is use your imagination
00:47:17oh dang it i knew there was a catch
00:47:21what have you always wanted eddie
00:47:22i don't know i i got pretty much everything i ever wanted
00:47:27uh good dog six kids
00:47:31oh dosing life and takes care of me every need if you know what i mean
00:47:39we could get a house eddie
00:47:43where are we gonna get a house
00:47:46we could build it with our hands
00:47:49i thought this was supposed to be vacation
00:47:51catherine no it's a great idea it'll be fun
00:47:54if you build it they will come
00:47:59who
00:48:01well someone to rescue us
00:48:05won't be much of a house
00:48:09but it'll be ours
00:48:11remember jesus was born in a stable
00:48:15yeah
00:48:18yeah
00:48:20yeah
00:48:23we'll build it
00:48:26here
00:48:28and you know what else we need
00:48:30a christmas dinner
00:48:32a real christmas dinner
00:48:33not these bananas
00:48:35or those touchy rolls
00:48:36or none of that there
00:48:37but an antihelpern either
00:48:39no sir
00:48:40i'm going out again
00:48:42we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:45we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:46we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:47we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:48we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:49we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:50we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:51we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:52we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:53we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:54we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:55we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:56we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:57we're gonna have ourselves
00:48:58we're gonna have ourselves some meat
00:48:59we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:00we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:01we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:02we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:03we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:04we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:05we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:06we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:07we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:08we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:09we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:10we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:11we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:12we're gonna have ourselves
00:49:15Come back here, you little bugger!
00:49:45Come back here.
00:50:09Stutz, kill!
00:50:11Kill!
00:50:12Kill!
00:50:15Where you going, Stutz?
00:50:16Come back here!
00:50:19Oh, come back here!
00:50:26Oh, come back here!
00:50:28Oh, come back!
00:50:31It is not a Christmas tree, but it'll do.
00:50:46It'll have to.
00:50:49You know, we used to have a big tree every Christmas when I was a kid.
00:50:53My father would take hours to pick it out.
00:50:57He sometimes would do everything but x-ray it.
00:51:00Then he'd turn to us and say,
00:51:02You are looking at the best Christmas tree in Kansas City.
00:51:05No, in the world.
00:51:11Christmas with Daddy.
00:51:13I guess dads are all like that at Christmas.
00:51:16Even Eddie.
00:51:30It's a good piggy.
00:51:37It's a good piggy.
00:51:39It's a good piggy.
00:51:39Get him.
00:51:52Oh, my.
00:51:58Oh, my.
00:52:00Oh, it's so beautiful here.
00:52:19Yeah.
00:52:20I've only even had a shopping mall.
00:52:23The house is coming along great, huh?
00:52:25Yeah.
00:52:26It's a great Christmas gift.
00:52:28Look at them.
00:52:29It's a funny thing, you know.
00:52:31Here we are in serious trouble, and I don't think I've ever seen Eddie so happy.
00:52:35Sometimes a crisis brings out the best in a person.
00:52:38I think he's even working.
00:52:46Hey, Dad.
00:52:47Dad.
00:52:48Dad!
00:52:50There's something I've got to tell you.
00:52:52It's your girlfriend.
00:52:54Is she pregnant?
00:52:55No.
00:52:55Oh.
00:52:59It's just that I always thought that you were kind of, uh, sort of...
00:53:09Gay?
00:53:12No.
00:53:13Just at the bottom of the food chain.
00:53:18Well, I was wrong.
00:53:19I mean, you know, like, you never worked much, and...
00:53:23Mom took care of the kids, and cooked, and cleaned, and worked three jobs.
00:53:31And then, you know, the bank foreclosed on the house, and the repo people took the RV.
00:53:36And here we are in a desert island, who knows where, and he goes out and kills with his bare hands to feed his family.
00:53:54I mean, can you imagine him taking on that huge animal, and beating him in a fair fight?
00:53:59I know.
00:54:00I mean, God, he was like a caveman, or a gladiator, or something.
00:54:05Yeah.
00:54:11Well, anyway, I was wrong.
00:54:15No.
00:54:16You were right.
00:54:17I-I'm just no good.
00:54:21Right.
00:54:22You know, normally.
00:54:24But here, on this island, you've been great.
00:54:33You mean that?
00:54:35Yeah.
00:54:38Boy.
00:54:39You don't know how good that makes me feel.
00:54:42Well, from now on, I've got no place to go but up.
00:54:55Hi, it's Audrey Griswold.
00:54:57Leave a message.
00:54:58Oh, and Merry Christmas.
00:55:01Hi, Ever Ready Plumbing here.
00:55:03We got your emergency call, and we'll have a man out to your house within 30 days.
00:55:07And Merry Christmas.
00:55:08Merry Christmas.
00:55:12Merry Christmas morning, everybody.
00:55:30Merry Christmas morning.
00:55:33Oh, yeah.
00:55:35Oh, there you go.
00:55:36Merry Christmas.
00:55:37Merry Christmas.
00:55:38Merry Christmas.
00:55:39Oh, Merry Christmas.
00:55:40Merry Christmas, Milwaukee.
00:55:42And here's Mr. Christmas himself.
00:55:47St. Nick.
00:55:49Oh, ho.
00:55:56Merry Christmas, Audrey.
00:55:58This is from Eddie.
00:56:00Wow, Eddie.
00:56:01This is great.
00:56:02Lipstick.
00:56:03It's my favorite color.
00:56:04Where did you get it?
00:56:05Found it in your purse.
00:56:06This is from Third.
00:56:11Oh, Third.
00:56:13My gosh.
00:56:15Look at that.
00:56:16That's a deluxe spear.
00:56:19It's an aerodynamically correct spear, Dad.
00:56:22See those fins?
00:56:23Those are flowing accurately.
00:56:25Looked like a one-way street sign.
00:56:27It does.
00:56:28Well, let's take it for a little test drive, shall we?
00:56:31Stay clear.
00:56:32Okay, now let's sing a few Christmas songs.
00:56:42Yeah, yeah, great.
00:56:46Oh, let's see.
00:56:48Hark the herald angels sing.
00:56:52Glory to the newborn king.
00:56:55Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled.
00:57:03Joyful all nations rise.
00:57:06Join the triumph of the skies.
00:57:10When the tetherlands proclaim, Christ is born in the blood.
00:57:17Joyful all nations rise.
00:57:24Glory to the newborn king.
00:57:34Hey, I got another surprise for us here.
00:57:36A little homemade home concoction that my daddy used to make.
00:57:42Only he had a still and sold it to the neighbors,
00:57:45but he kept us going through the lean times.
00:57:47He got caught and wound up doing three to five.
00:57:50But here's a little taste for everybody.
00:57:51Okay, all right.
00:57:53Here it goes.
00:57:57Woo!
00:57:59Wow, that's got a kick.
00:58:00What is in that?
00:58:01Well, it's got three parts coconut milk,
00:58:03two parts bug juice, six parts bourbon,
00:58:06a little banana peel for texture and a tootsie roll.
00:58:09Oh, and some sunscreen.
00:58:17Lord, I want to thank you for keeping us healthy
00:58:20and particularly alive during this whole shipwreck deal.
00:58:25But most of all, Lord, I want to thank you for this house.
00:58:29Oh, it's a good house, Lord.
00:58:32Lord, it's probably the first house we ever had
00:58:35where we didn't owe a mortgage or taxes.
00:58:38And maybe the only house we'll ever have
00:58:40where the bank won't foreclose on it.
00:58:43Oh, it's not a master's order's house,
00:58:46but it's a fine house, Lord.
00:58:48And I want you to please just find it
00:58:51to forgive me, Lord,
00:58:53for losing the RV
00:58:54and the dirt farm, Lord.
00:58:58And the way I'll see it, Lord.
00:59:01Can I say something?
00:59:04Excuse me, Lord.
00:59:09Yeah?
00:59:11What's in the coconut?
00:59:13Another tropical surprise.
00:59:16Can we drink the surprise first
00:59:18and then bust the coconut?
00:59:20No.
00:59:21Well, there you go.
00:59:23Anyway, Lord,
00:59:25be it ever so humble,
00:59:27there's no place like this to your house.
00:59:30Amen.
00:59:31Amen.
00:59:32And live forever.
00:59:37Amen.
00:59:39Amen.
00:59:39Amen.
00:59:42Amen.
00:59:42Amen.
00:59:45Oh, Lord.
00:59:47Oh, Lord.
00:59:49You did it, Dad.
01:00:13You killed a boar
01:00:14and built their own damn house.
01:00:16Watch your mouth, third.
01:00:19Well, we've learned something here today.
01:00:49We definitely have to make it more secure.
01:00:53Let's eat.
01:00:54Let's eat.
01:00:54Let's eat.
01:01:04Let's eat.
01:01:09Eddie, Eddie, you're so brave, and you have a good sense of humor.
01:01:29You're my hero.
01:01:39You're my hero.
01:02:09You're my hero.
01:02:39You're my hero.
01:03:09You're my hero.
01:03:10Over here.
01:03:11Uncle Mike, wake up.
01:03:12We're rescued.
01:03:13We're saved.
01:03:14Saved?
01:03:15From what?
01:03:17What?
01:03:18What?
01:03:19What?
01:03:20What?
01:03:21What?
01:03:22What?
01:03:23What?
01:03:24What?
01:03:25What?
01:03:26What?
01:03:27What?
01:03:28What?
01:03:29What?
01:03:30What?
01:03:31What?
01:03:32What?
01:03:33What?
01:03:34What?
01:03:35What?
01:03:37What?
01:03:38What?
01:03:39What?
01:03:40What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:42What?
01:03:43What?
01:03:44What?
01:03:45What?
01:03:46What?
01:03:47What?
01:03:48What?
01:03:49What?
01:03:50What?
01:03:51What?
01:03:52What?
01:03:53What?
01:03:54What?
01:03:55What?
01:03:56What?
01:03:57What?
01:03:58What?
01:03:59What?
01:04:00What?
01:04:01What?
01:04:02What?
01:04:03What?
01:04:04What?
01:04:05backed up there on the cliff.
01:04:06Probably nobody thought of looking for you here.
01:04:07Well, it's only ten miles.
01:04:08You gotta walk to my hotel.
01:04:09Well, I guess we better pack up and get out of here, then.
01:04:16Man, you know, I got all excited when I first saw the plane,
01:04:19but I'm really going to miss this place.
01:04:23This was the best vacation this family has ever had.
01:04:28Oh, well.
01:04:29It was great, but it'll be good to get back to civilization.
01:04:33Nah, civilization.
01:04:35People want to live in crowds because they don't trust each other.
01:04:37I don't know. There's some good things to say about civilization.
01:04:42Name one.
01:04:43Oh, massages, manicures, frozen artichokes, hot toes, champagne.
01:04:50I want to say something.
01:04:53I'm going to miss that having a lot of things.
01:04:56It's been great without telephones and people you never even met
01:05:01calling, trying to sell you things you don't even need.
01:05:04And rap music on beer commercials and junk mail.
01:05:10Yeah.
01:05:12I'm going to miss us all being so together.
01:05:15The way everybody chipped in and worked.
01:05:18It was a Christmas thing.
01:05:20I saw an airplane.
01:05:22I saw an airplane.
01:05:24We're saved.
01:05:26We're saved.
01:05:28I saw a plane.
01:05:31Jack.
01:05:37What are you doing here?
01:05:47Merry Christmas.
01:05:48Merry Christmas.
01:05:51This was the best Christmas I've ever had.
01:05:54It was fun being a part of your family here on, what is the name of this island?
01:05:59Well, it was named after King Hallie Howkey, but you can change it.
01:06:03He was a headhunter.
01:06:05I say we rename it Eddie Island in honor of the man who killed the boar.
01:06:11What business did you say you were in?
01:06:18I was in nuclear research.
01:06:20You're kidding.
01:06:21No, no, nuclear research.
01:06:23But then I got laid off.
01:06:25But then, because I got bit on the ass, they give me this here Christmas vacation.
01:06:30You got laid off?
01:06:31Did the company downsize?
01:06:33Uh, yeah, well, the other guy, he was a lot smaller than I was.
01:06:36I was better at the job.
01:06:38Jack's incredible, isn't he?
01:06:40Yeah, and he's a really great guy.
01:06:42He's so mature.
01:06:44Big deal.
01:06:45Uncle Nick's mature.
01:06:50Awful.
01:06:51It's libeling.
01:06:52Roll down a hill and kill a little pig or something.
01:06:55I better move this.
01:06:58Yeah, you're going to bust your rollers trying to move that.
01:07:00Let me help you.
01:07:01Let's put it over.
01:07:05Where?
01:07:06Over.
01:07:13Go, let go, you're choking me.
01:07:16Let go.
01:07:28Jack?
01:07:31Oh, Jack, don't get up.
01:07:33I'm all right.
01:07:34No, no, no, Jack.
01:07:35You took a terrible fall.
01:07:37You need rest and care.
01:07:38I'm fine.
01:07:41Oh.
01:07:41I wouldn't be going into a career in the moving business any time too soon if I were you, mate.
01:07:47You all ready to fly?
01:07:57You all ready to fly?
01:07:57No, no, no, no.
01:07:58I'm going to miss the old home instead.
01:08:08I'm going to really miss the old home instead.
01:08:20Jack, you okay?
01:08:34Nah, I'm okay.
01:08:35It's just a headache.
01:08:37There are some aspirin in the cabin.
01:08:38Yeah.
01:08:43Oh.
01:08:48His head hurts.
01:08:49Oh, my God.
01:08:50Oh, my God.
01:08:50He needs me.
01:08:51He needs me.
01:08:52He's not found now.
01:08:53He'll be all right.
01:08:55He's a headache.
01:09:04He'll be all right.
01:09:12Maluka Tau, Maluka Tau.
01:09:14This is Mike, 808-5.
01:09:17Well-born Jack here.
01:09:18I've just picked up some lost souls on the rear end of King Hallihalki Island.
01:09:25Itty Island.
01:09:26Our position is...
01:09:30Hell, I don't know where we are.
01:09:31Not too well, my friend.
01:09:35I like you, Ed.
01:09:38You're a good man.
01:09:41You're not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but you're a good man.
01:09:44You're a good man.
01:09:51Whoo!
01:09:535808-5.
01:09:55Say again your position.
01:09:57Help!
01:09:59This is Maluka Tau.
01:10:00Merry Christmas.
01:10:01Is that you, Jack?
01:10:03Oh, it's Daddy!
01:10:04Jack!
01:10:05Jack, he painted.
01:10:06Oh, he's dead.
01:10:08Oh, my God!
01:10:09Step out of it! Step out of it!
01:10:12Oh, he's not daddy. He moved.
01:10:14Well, okay, Eddie. Merry Christmas.
01:10:17Can you fly a plane?
01:10:20I'll take that as a no.
01:10:24We got you on radar now.
01:10:26You're heading right for Maluka Airport.
01:10:29All you're gonna have to do is, well, plan.
01:10:32We're gonna die.
01:10:33Well, relax. When we get you over the airport, we're gonna talk you in.
01:10:37Hey, Eddie.
01:10:39Yeah?
01:10:40We're gonna clear the area of all incoming and outgoing flights.
01:10:44Hey, all you're gonna have to worry about is to make a nice, simple landing right there on the tarmac.
01:10:50It'll go down gradually and just coast on in.
01:10:55Okay.
01:10:56Dad! Dad, you can't land on the tarmac!
01:10:59Probably not, but I gotta try.
01:11:01This is a seaplane, Dad! A seaplane!
01:11:05Tower! Tower!
01:11:06Tower! Mr. Tower!
01:11:07This is a seaplane!
01:11:09Damn, forgot. Right. Shoot.
01:11:11Um, you know, I'm getting so absent-minded.
01:11:14Good, good. That's even easier.
01:11:16You'll just land right there in the bay in front of the airport, and we'll come on out and get you.
01:11:21Now, just sit back, stay on course, and relax.
01:11:26No sweat.
01:11:30How's Jack?
01:11:31Laundry's breathing into his mouth.
01:11:36Okay, easy does it.
01:11:38Um, loosen your clothing.
01:11:40Good.
01:11:41Planes will never replace boats as a means of transportation.
01:11:45People like to stay close to sea on trevling.
01:11:48Uncle Nick, boats still sail on water.
01:11:51Not Earth.
01:11:51Okay, Eddie, we got you inside now.
01:11:55There's the airport!
01:11:57Here's what we want you to do.
01:11:58We want you to look at the altimeter.
01:12:00Where?
01:12:01Where?
01:12:01All right, calm down now.
01:12:03It's the gauge on the right-hand side of the panel.
01:12:06You're now at 2,000 feet.
01:12:08I want you to turn the wheel very slowly to your left.
01:12:12Press it down gradually.
01:12:15Very slowly.
01:12:21Hey, Eddie.
01:12:24Merry Christmas.
01:12:26Oh, oh, oh.
01:12:28Oh, no, no, Eddie, back, back!
01:12:31Come on!
01:12:32No, no, no, no, Eddie!
01:12:35Okay, Eddie, we're going to try it again now.
01:12:41Slow your damn idiot, don't you know what slow means?
01:12:46Slow your damn idiot, don't you know what slow means?
01:12:52What, Luka?
01:12:54If we don't die, will you be my girlfriend?
01:12:58Well, thank you, third.
01:13:00Um, I think you're terrific.
01:13:03But I don't think you're quite grown up enough for me.
01:13:06I am grown up.
01:13:08I've even seen a naked woman.
01:13:12Anyway, if we don't die, I'll point back to my husband.
01:13:16Your husband?
01:13:18Yes, Daniel.
01:13:20He lives in Indianapolis.
01:13:21Now let's, let's try it again there, Eddie, baby.
01:13:28And Eddie, you see that tall building with the glass all around it?
01:13:32Good.
01:13:33Whatever you do, don't hit that building.
01:13:36You see, that's the tower, Eddie.
01:13:38And that's, that's where I am.
01:13:40Now what we're going to do, you're going to turn the wheel slowly to the left again and press down.
01:13:45No.
01:13:47No.
01:13:49No.
01:13:50No, Andy!
01:13:51Andy, no!
01:13:53No!
01:13:54Andy!
01:13:56Andy!
01:13:58Now!
01:13:58No, Andy.
01:14:05Oh.
01:14:06Yeah, it's just like the Tonniya, when we drove the RV up the side of the mountain and broke your leg.
01:14:13Only more gators.
01:14:17Eddie, Eddie, it's more like the time that you were fishing off that bridge
01:14:21and reached down to tie your shoelaces and fell 50 feet into the water.
01:14:25Only this time we could all die.
01:14:31You can do it, Dad. I know you can.
01:14:43Oh, my God!
01:15:01Oh, my God!
01:15:03Oh, my God!
01:15:05Oh, my God!
01:15:09Oh, my God!
01:15:19Oh, my God!
01:15:24Please!
01:15:25Toilet!
01:15:29Oh, my God!
01:15:33Oh!
01:15:39And Merry Christmas, Maluka.
01:15:44Now, we've all heard about the shipwrecked Johnsons,
01:15:47and here's a holiday video from their daughter
01:15:49who's currently appearing at the Bear Bottom Club in Las Vegas.
01:15:54Oh!
01:15:54Oh!
01:16:03Oh, Merry Christmas, sir!
01:16:06How's my boy?
01:16:08And Jessica!
01:16:09You wouldn't believe what we've been through.
01:16:11You're not going to show me your travel movies, are you, third?
01:16:14Later.
01:16:15Okay, so, where's that old man of mine?
01:16:19And where are you folks?
01:16:20Oh, well, my mom and dad and cousin Audrey
01:16:23are visiting a friend in the hospital.
01:16:25Dad dropped a rock on him and gave him a brain concussion.
01:16:28Oh.
01:16:29Oh, and Uncle Nick's resting.
01:16:30You go out and tell him I'm here.
01:16:32If I walk in on him, he's labelled to have a heart attack.
01:16:36Sure.
01:16:36Aunt Jessica, you didn't, did you?
01:16:45Don't ask.
01:16:48Okay.
01:16:48Well, that Jack, he is okay, isn't he?
01:16:54What a great guy.
01:16:55And he didn't even mention that I almost killed him.
01:16:58I can't believe it.
01:17:00He's married.
01:17:02Five kids.
01:17:04Hey, my God, can any man be trusted?
01:17:06He's the great love of my life.
01:17:10I'll never love again.
01:17:13Merry Christmas.
01:17:15Merry Christmas.
01:17:17Is he all right?
01:17:19It's my husband.
01:17:20Nervous breakdown.
01:17:23Merry Christmas.
01:17:26I'm so sorry.
01:17:27How long has he been like this?
01:17:30Since this morning.
01:17:31He's an air traffic controller.
01:17:37Hey, buddy.
01:17:39Merry Christmas.
01:17:42Hey, come on, buddy.
01:17:43Snap out of it.
01:17:44Snap out of it.
01:17:45Oh, Eddie.
01:17:48Eddie.
01:17:49You are a miracle worker.
01:17:55Come on.
01:17:58Let's get back to the motel.
01:18:01I may become a nun.
01:18:07Hey, Jessica.
01:18:10So you finally got tired of that young fella
01:18:14and he decided to come crawling back to Uncle Nick.
01:18:18And you're going to take her back, I suppose.
01:18:21Well, I have seen it all now.
01:18:24If anybody wants me, I'll be in the can.
01:18:33I'm sorry for that little unpleasantness, darling.
01:18:37That pig snout never did have no manners.
01:18:42When you're finished to massage me,
01:18:43get your butt into the kitchen,
01:18:45fix me a decent dinner.
01:18:47I'm going to eat nothing but burnt pig and bananas.
01:18:49They're waiting for you inside, Eddie.
01:19:12Oh, thank you, Milwaukee.
01:19:16Hi, Mooka.
01:19:18There's something I'm going to tell you.
01:19:22You know, I'm sorry about asking you to be my girl.
01:19:26But I'm engaged.
01:19:30Oh, she's that beautiful.
01:19:39Well, it'll take a while to get over it.
01:19:43Yeah.
01:19:47Eddie!
01:19:49Eddie!
01:19:50Eddie!
01:19:51Eddie!
01:19:51Eddie!
01:19:52Eddie!
01:19:53Oh, for pleasure doing it!
01:20:02We are so proud of you.
01:20:05All the newspapers carried your story.
01:20:08Shipwrecked.
01:20:09Swam 30 miles to rescue your family.
01:20:12Built a two-story house with your own hands.
01:20:15Killed a wild boar with manicure scissors.
01:20:17Well, what's he doing here?
01:20:28You're replacing him.
01:20:29He's here on vacation.
01:20:34Oh, no.
01:20:36Uh-uh.
01:20:37I'm staying right here.
01:20:39I got myself a new job.
01:20:47Well, Roy, looks like this is the beginning of the beautiful friendship.
01:21:06We wish you a merry Christmas.
01:21:09We wish you a merry Christmas.
01:21:11We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.
01:21:17And I'll ask that you guys now всю away from riesclock.
01:21:20You always met them with motorcycles.
01:21:21We wish you a merry Christmas or they were mutром.
01:21:24I hope they're on vacation tonight.
01:21:26Anyway, boards of the время we wish you'd ever have been coming.
01:21:28I want to log in.
01:21:29Make sure to hear the 싶은 escreve.
01:21:30I want to believe the randomly not Julian von Roherty.
01:21:31On vacation Large on vacation.
01:21:32We work with oallets than December 15th of 14th.
01:21:35It's two athletes that can be flourished.
01:21:37Even everybody may be bakalian.
01:21:38We are right now and in here.
01:21:40See you around, isn't what's going to be on vacation.
01:21:42I want to visit you now on vacation now?
01:21:44Am I not family.
01:21:46I want to see you around wie filho.
01:21:47You
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