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  • 6/17/2025

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00:00:00I need you to listen, I need you to answer, I need you to listen, I need you to answer.
00:00:20Oh God, I need you too, I want to see your face, it is this love I have, it makes me search
00:00:34for you, I need you to listen, I need you to answer, I need you to listen, I need you
00:00:50to access, do not avoid my eyes, or let me anger you, do not toss me aside, oh God,
00:01:04do not drop me, I need you to listen, I need you to answer.
00:01:15I need you to listen, I need you to answer, you are the only hope I have, I have all night,
00:01:29they can hear me on earth, oh God.
00:02:42I like her.
00:02:44I think she loves you.
00:02:46Did you tell her that, Mom?
00:02:48Yeah.
00:02:50Here you go, Mom.
00:02:52Yay!
00:02:56This is such a nice day.
00:03:00Who knows this?
00:03:02May those who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength.
00:03:06Corinthians.
00:03:08Judges 531.
00:03:10Show off.
00:03:12So, Grandma, how old are you again?
00:03:14Never mind.
00:03:16No, we shouldn't have to.
00:03:18Let's open a phone.
00:03:20That's very nice.
00:03:24Save some for me, will you?
00:03:26Oh.
00:03:28That's very nice.
00:03:30Who's that from?
00:03:32From you and Mary.
00:03:34You are correct.
00:03:36I was just testing.
00:03:38Remember, Mom?
00:03:40We were at the mall, and you said you liked that.
00:03:43So I went back and I got it for you.
00:03:45Auntie Honey, you give them that purse.
00:03:48Why am I always the one who has to get the purse?
00:03:51That's the rite of passage.
00:03:52The youngest Griffith girl is the purse mule.
00:03:54That's true.
00:03:55Oh, Grandma, open mine.
00:03:57I don't always have to be the purse mule.
00:03:59Okay, fine.
00:04:03Mm-hmm.
00:04:04Yes, I think it suits me.
00:04:06What do you guys think?
00:04:07Grandma, that is a lovely shade of lipstick.
00:04:10Beautiful.
00:04:11Oh, Ed, stop it.
00:04:13Why? What's wrong, Mom?
00:04:14It's disgusting.
00:04:16You asked me, queers should all be lined up and shot.
00:04:20Didn't you say that last year about the Giants?
00:04:23What did you say?
00:04:25Never mind.
00:04:27What is this?
00:04:29It's a journal, like a diary.
00:04:32I don't need any more stuff.
00:04:38Mom?
00:04:39What?
00:04:40I'll go.
00:04:41It's a good thing we didn't get you the pen.
00:04:43We can't take it personally.
00:04:45It's Grandma.
00:04:46You know the rule.
00:04:47She's mean sometimes, and then we get a free pass to make fun of her.
00:04:51Poppy, she picks on me.
00:04:52Nobody ever picks on you.
00:04:54You're the favorite.
00:04:58So what's it like to be perfect?
00:05:00I'm perfect?
00:05:02You think I'm perfect?
00:05:04Have you looked in a mirror lately?
00:05:05You're Charlie's next angel, okay?
00:05:07Can I have it?
00:05:11You don't want it?
00:05:13Well, I'm taking it.
00:05:14I can fill this up in a week.
00:05:16Now come on, let's go celebrate Grandma's 39th, 39th birthday.
00:05:21Mommy, I'm ready.
00:05:22What?
00:05:23I want to go further.
00:05:28Is something wrong?
00:05:30I thought you'd want to...
00:05:31Here?
00:05:32I mean, this isn't really what I had in mind.
00:05:33Well, it doesn't have to be here.
00:05:36I should go.
00:05:37I have to get up early tomorrow.
00:05:38Is something wrong?
00:05:39I don't think this is gonna work.
00:05:40I think we should break up.
00:05:41Is-is something wrong? I thought you'd want to...
00:05:45Here? I mean, this isn't really what I had in mind.
00:05:48Well, it doesn't have to be here.
00:05:51I should go. I have to get up early tomorrow.
00:05:53Is something wrong?
00:05:55I don't think this is gonna work. I think we should break up.
00:06:00I-I thought you liked me. I came to meet your family.
00:06:04I-I just don't want to get that serious.
00:06:07Well, it doesn't have to be serious, okay?
00:06:10It's not you, it's me.
00:06:12Okay, I'm sorry.
00:06:40Hey, you want to watch with me?
00:06:54I'm tired.
00:06:55Oh, come on. Who else can I get to watch an old black and white movie?
00:06:59You know, if it's not John Wayne, your dad's not interested.
00:07:03It's really scary.
00:07:08You know, the scene's famous.
00:07:10Really?
00:07:11You know how they got that glass of milk to glow?
00:07:13How?
00:07:14Well, Hitchcock put a light bulb inside the glass so the audience would know the milk is poisonous.
00:07:18No kidding. That's clever. How'd you know that?
00:07:23Cause I'm brilliant.
00:07:25You are brilliant.
00:07:28Take it away. I've eaten too much.
00:07:30I think there's something wrong with me.
00:07:32That's for sure.
00:07:34What do you think Mom would do if she found out one of us was a psychopath?
00:07:40What do you mean, if?
00:07:42You know how she's always saying the whole family's gonna be together in the afterlife?
00:07:48Well, one of one of us is a sinner.
00:07:53Hey, if you sinned with Michelle, I promise I won't tell.
00:07:57It's not that.
00:07:58I'm just thinking about stuff, you know?
00:08:01Think too much.
00:08:03It's dangerous.
00:08:05Which is why I avoid it at all costs.
00:08:07Yeah?
00:08:11I'm glad we talked.
00:08:13Seriously, is something wrong?
00:08:16No.
00:08:19Alright, cause you know I'm your big bro.
00:08:21I'm just looking out for you.
00:08:46What's up, Bobby?
00:08:47Ready to go?
00:08:48Hey, Bobby.
00:08:49Cheryl.
00:08:50Who's not your type?
00:08:51Too much eyeshadow.
00:08:52What's going on with Michelle, huh?
00:08:53We broke up.
00:08:54Talk to you guys later.
00:08:55Not telling the truth?
00:08:57Sometimes I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff looking down at the crashing surf with nowhere to go but down.
00:09:04I used to have these flying dreams and I was so free.
00:09:06But now as I fly, I'm afraid.
00:09:07There are telephone lines and electrical wires.
00:09:09How painful it would be to run into one.
00:09:10I wonder if I'll ever be free again.
00:09:11I'm afraid.
00:09:12There are telephone lines and electrical wires.
00:09:13How painful it would be to run into one.
00:09:14I wonder if I'll ever be free again.
00:09:15Do you eat oysters?
00:09:16When I have them, Master, do you consider the eating of oysters to be the best?
00:09:17Sometimes I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff looking down at the crashing surf with nowhere to go but down.
00:09:22I used to have these flying dreams and I was so free.
00:09:26But now as I fly, I'm afraid.
00:09:29There are telephone lines and electrical wires.
00:09:32How painful it would be to run into one.
00:09:36I wonder if I'll ever be free again.
00:09:39Do you eat oysters?
00:09:41When I have them, Master, do you consider the eating of oysters to be the best?
00:09:44The eating of oysters to be immoral.
00:09:47No, man.
00:10:14I want you to come back to your own kind.
00:10:15I beg you to.
00:10:16Is that to me you will not ever send the gas?
00:10:19Hello.
00:10:20Bobby!
00:10:21Is that to me you will not ever send the gas?
00:10:22Is that to me?
00:10:23Is that to me you will not ever send the gas?
00:10:24Hello.
00:10:25Bobby?
00:10:26I want you to come back to your own kind.
00:10:29I beg you to.
00:10:32Is it me or whatever is in the case?
00:10:35Hello?
00:10:48Bobby!
00:10:50Bobby! Bobby!
00:10:51Hey, Bobby!
00:10:52What did you do, huh?
00:10:54What did you do? Did you take these?
00:10:55Answer me! No!
00:10:57Is that the truth?
00:10:58I couldn't do it, okay?
00:10:59Get off of me!
00:11:02I wanted to, but I couldn't.
00:11:10What's wrong with you?
00:11:11You know why I couldn't do it?
00:11:16Because it's a sin.
00:11:20Bobby, what are you talking about?
00:11:22I didn't want to go to hell, but I am.
00:11:28Because this is worse.
00:11:30Bobby, you're scaring me.
00:11:31What, what, what's going on?
00:11:34You'd all hate me.
00:11:36I know it.
00:11:37I know that if you guys knew the truth, you'd hate me.
00:11:40Whatever it is, we'll tell Mom.
00:11:43Mom.
00:11:44No!
00:11:45No.
00:11:46Mom wouldn't understand, okay?
00:11:47She can't know.
00:11:48Then you have to tell me right now.
00:11:54I'm not like you, Ed.
00:11:56So what?
00:11:58I keep trying.
00:11:59I keep telling myself that one day I'm going to wake up and it's going to be different, but it's not.
00:12:06I don't dream about girls like you do.
00:12:12I dream about guys.
00:12:17You're gay?
00:12:18See?
00:12:19You even say it like you hate me.
00:12:22Give me a break.
00:12:23I don't know what to do.
00:12:25Well, tell Mom and Dad.
00:12:26No.
00:12:27No.
00:12:28They can help, Bobby.
00:12:29They always want us to come to them.
00:12:30They can help.
00:12:32I can't, okay?
00:12:34And you're not going to say anything either.
00:12:37Promise me.
00:12:39Promise me you're not going to say anything.
00:12:44And promise...
00:12:45Okay.
00:12:47I promise.
00:12:53Mom, if there was something wrong with one of your kids, you always said that we should come to you, right?
00:12:58What'd you do?
00:13:00It's not me. It's Bobby.
00:13:02What is it?
00:13:06I didn't want to tell you, but he was in such bad shape, I'm really worried about him.
00:13:12He thinks...
00:13:15He might be homosexual.
00:13:18He's not.
00:13:22He didn't want me to tell you. He was going to take a bunch of aspirin.
00:13:27Okay? And, you know, he trusted me. You can't go too hard on him.
00:13:30Okay. Okay. Good. It's good.
00:13:32I'm glad you told me.
00:13:34There's no doubt in my mind that God can handle this. He'll help us.
00:13:38He'll heal Bobby.
00:13:41In order for all of us to be together in the kingdom of heaven, we cannot stray.
00:13:46We can't sin like that.
00:13:48And that is a terrible sin.
00:13:50The Bible calls it an abomination.
00:13:52In Leviticus, if a man lies with another man, they shall both be put to death.
00:13:56I will not risk my family not being together in the next life.
00:13:58Mary, could we please worry about this life before we worry about the next life?
00:14:03Hey, what's going on?
00:14:05Isn't there a problem you need to tell us about?
00:14:08No.
00:14:10Bobby, if there is something wrong, you need to share it with your family.
00:14:14How could you?
00:14:17Bobby, I'm gonna kill you!
00:14:19I'm gonna kill you!
00:14:21All right, okay!
00:14:22Enough!
00:14:23I was worried about you!
00:14:24I trusted you!
00:14:25Shut up now!
00:14:27Go find some homework, okay?
00:14:31Bobby, we're your family.
00:14:32We can get through this.
00:14:33I know if we trust in God, we can get through this.
00:14:36It's curable with his help.
00:14:38I'm sorry.
00:14:39I can't help it.
00:14:41I don't even want it, Mom.
00:14:42What do I do?
00:14:43Bobby, you're not gay.
00:14:46You probably just, you haven't met a girl that you're really attracted to.
00:14:51Please.
00:14:53Mom, please don't tell anyone.
00:14:54Please.
00:14:55Okay.
00:14:56Mom, please don't tell anyone.
00:14:57It's gonna be all right.
00:14:58Okay.
00:14:59It's gonna be fine.
00:15:00Shh.
00:15:08I was worried about you.
00:15:10What was I supposed to do?
00:15:14I'm outta here.
00:15:18Thank you again for joining us.
00:15:19I'm Pastor Raymond Zipp.
00:15:21We'll take another call.
00:15:22This is from Melissa in Concord.
00:15:25Thank you, Reverend.
00:15:26I'm a little nervous.
00:15:28My sister made a terrible mistake.
00:15:30She sinned and then died in a tragic car accident.
00:15:33I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit.
00:15:38Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves.
00:15:43When the Holy Spirit controls your life, he will produce love, joy, kindness, goodness, and self-control.
00:15:51What's your call?
00:15:52Does everyone have to know?
00:15:53We're your family.
00:15:55We love you.
00:15:57Mom, have you seen my car, Aaron?
00:15:59We still love you, Bobby.
00:16:00Yeah, thanks.
00:16:01Can I get some privacy?
00:16:02Hi, Mary.
00:16:03Hi.
00:16:04Hi.
00:16:05Hi, Mary.
00:16:06Hi.
00:16:07Hi.
00:16:08Bye.
00:16:09Hi.
00:16:10Hi.
00:16:11Hi.
00:16:12Hi.
00:16:13Hi.
00:16:14Hi.
00:16:15Hi.
00:16:16Hi.
00:16:17Hi.
00:16:37If a homosexual who wants to renounce homosexuality finds a psychiatrist who knows how to cure homosexuality,
00:16:47he has every chance of becoming a happy, well-adjusted heterosexual.
00:17:04Do you ever hear any voices?
00:17:07No.
00:17:10Do you ever hear any ringing sounds?
00:17:13No.
00:17:15Is that the phone?
00:17:23That was a joke.
00:17:29So you think you're a homosexual?
00:17:32Bobby, how many girls have you been with?
00:17:36I don't know. Two.
00:17:38Had sexual relations with?
00:17:46Then how do you know for sure?
00:17:48I just have these feelings, you know? I don't mean you know. I mean, I have these feelings.
00:17:58Do you want to be homosexual?
00:18:08I just want to be close with my family again. I feel like I slipped up and now I can't get back.
00:18:14I'm not going to be able to help you if you don't answer my questions.
00:18:20No, I don't want to be this way.
00:18:24I'm going to talk with your mother alone for a minute, okay?
00:18:34She wants to talk to you.
00:18:36He can be cured, right?
00:18:46He has to be willing to really put the work in.
00:18:48Oh, he is. I know he is.
00:18:50And I think it would be good, it would be important to have your husband come join this in therapy.
00:18:58Right.
00:19:01Gotta go.
00:19:05She said we should spend some more time together.
00:19:08Maybe the two of you could spend some quality time together.
00:19:13Yeah, sure.
00:19:20That's all she said for 60 bucks an hour.
00:19:22She also wants the three of us to go to a few sessions together.
00:19:25Well, so it's our fault?
00:19:27I don't know about all that. It's fine if he goes.
00:19:29Bob, I want you to be a part of this. I can't do it alone, okay?
00:19:33I read that homosexuals have sex in public bathrooms and that they recruit children.
00:19:40What are you saying?
00:19:42Do you think Bobby was recruited?
00:19:44Come on, Mary, you're going overboard.
00:19:45You've got to do something about this. I won't lose him.
00:19:50I won't lose him.
00:19:54Dear Lord, we ask that you keep Bobby safe from temptation.
00:19:57Please help him return to a pure heart.
00:19:59Do you think this will heal me?
00:20:01You have to trust that God will heal you and that Satan will try to discourage you.
00:20:07Do you trust in God?
00:20:09Yeah.
00:20:11Phil, let me go to sleep.
00:20:12When temptation is all around you, faith is not enough.
00:20:23It requires discipline, not just mental, but physical.
00:20:27Who would like to share their story?
00:20:28I used to be so unhappy.
00:20:33I stayed out all night. I talked back to my mother.
00:20:36Since coming here and accepting Jesus as my savior, I've changed.
00:20:41My mom and I are like best friends now.
00:20:43That's great, Terry.
00:20:45Yeah. The power of prayer and hard work.
00:20:48Bobby, what about you? How are you coming along?
00:20:50Good.
00:20:51Well, you feel better, don't you? I can see it in your eyes.
00:20:58Your hard work has paid off, hasn't it?
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:03Let's sing, shall we?
00:21:05Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved the rest like me.
00:21:22Nothing I do seems to make a difference.
00:21:41I try and act like them, but it feels impossible.
00:21:45It's an awful feeling to believe you could be headed straight for the fires of hell.
00:21:49Even worse is everyone telling you how simple the solution is.
00:21:54They don't know what it is to be in my shoes.
00:21:57I'm running. I'm not eating junk food.
00:22:00Good. Good.
00:22:02Yeah, it's good, but I don't know the point of it.
00:22:06I mean, my face is cleared up, but everything else feels the same.
00:22:09Well, you have to stick with it.
00:22:12Do you like the people in your group?
00:22:14They're okay. This one girl, she...
00:22:16You know, I hope you're taking this seriously.
00:22:18I mean it. I hope you are trying with all your might.
00:22:22I cannot lose you to this.
00:22:24You won't.
00:22:29Have faith.
00:22:35Well, this is gonna be fun.
00:22:36When was the last time all the Griffith men went hiking together?
00:22:42Uh, here.
00:22:44Oh.
00:22:45Oh.
00:22:56So how's school?
00:22:58Good.
00:23:02Have you thought about your plans?
00:23:04Well, college.
00:23:05No, I mean, you know, life plans.
00:23:07Well, I'm still thinking of becoming a writer.
00:23:09Listen, Bobby, you've always had a strong imagination and we've always been to write with that, but you're getting to the age where you're gonna have to get practical.
00:23:18Like pipe dreams, they're great when you're young, but they don't really have a place in the real world.
00:23:31Yeah.
00:23:32Do you hear what I'm saying, Ian?
00:23:34Yeah.
00:23:35All right, all right. Let's go. Let's move.
00:23:36All right.
00:23:44How'd it go?
00:23:46I'm healed.
00:23:51It was fine.
00:23:54Did you two talk?
00:23:56Yeah, we talked.
00:23:58Well, what'd you talk about?
00:24:01Mary was fine.
00:24:03No, but this is important. This could make him or break him.
00:24:07I did the best I could. Is that all right with you?
00:24:16A lot of times, confusion like Bobby's can be caused by a distant father or an overbearing mother.
00:24:25Well, I had both and I'm fine.
00:24:28Yeah.
00:24:30Bob.
00:24:31Yeah?
00:24:32You need to participate in this.
00:24:34I'm right here, Mary. I'm in the room.
00:24:37You know?
00:24:38I think I've been a very good father.
00:24:41Maybe you don't know this, but Bobby, I mean, he was never into the stuff that his brother or other boys were into him.
00:24:46You know, he's just not interested.
00:24:48Mm-hmm.
00:24:49So I'm not gonna force him.
00:24:50You know?
00:24:56Hi, Bobby. I'm Sheila.
00:25:03Mom, who's that?
00:25:06Sheila is a student in my Sunday school class.
00:25:09You got me a date?
00:25:11You need to go out with lots of girls. Your dad thinks so, too.
00:25:15Can I at least pick my own?
00:25:19Don't do that thing with your art.
00:25:22Have fun.
00:25:24You look nifty.
00:25:25Do you want a brownie for energy? Take them out.
00:25:27No.
00:25:32Hello.
00:25:33Who's this?
00:25:34This is my brother, Ed.
00:25:35Hi.
00:25:36Hi, I'm Sheila.
00:25:37Nice to meet you.
00:25:38Nice to meet you, too.
00:25:39Hi.
00:25:40Oh, hi.
00:25:41You wanna come and meet some of my friends?
00:25:42Yeah.
00:25:48Are you ever gonna talk to me again?
00:25:51Look at where it got me.
00:25:55What if she wants me to kiss her goodnight?
00:25:57So you're gay.
00:25:58No fire.
00:26:16No!
00:26:18No!
00:26:20No!
00:26:21No!
00:26:22No!
00:26:24No!
00:26:25Did you tell your friends?
00:26:43Bobby, those aren't my friends.
00:26:44You tell everyone I'm dating?
00:26:46I haven't told anyone. Stop being so paranoid.
00:26:48You all hate me for it.
00:26:50I know you don't think I see it, but I do.
00:26:53I gotta go.
00:26:54Bobby.
00:27:03It's three in the morning.
00:27:07Sorry, I lost track of time.
00:27:09Well, where were you?
00:27:14Bobby.
00:27:16You weren't with homosexuals, were you?
00:27:20This is not you.
00:27:22This is temptation working its ways.
00:27:25You have to pray harder if you're going to get well.
00:27:30Good night, Mom.
00:27:33Pray for forgiveness right away.
00:27:35It's fine, girls, but I gotta go.
00:27:58Okay.
00:27:58Here's Bobby.
00:28:01Hey.
00:28:04Where's Joe?
00:28:05She had work, so she asked me to pick you up.
00:28:09You're welcome.
00:28:11What's with you?
00:28:12What?
00:28:13You think I didn't notice that?
00:28:14You didn't want your friends to see me.
00:28:15Some people wouldn't understand.
00:28:17And now it's so obvious.
00:28:18Or did you tell them?
00:28:20Well, look at what you're wearing.
00:28:23And I've told you time after time not to do anything with your arm.
00:28:27It makes you look like a girl, and you continue to do it.
00:28:30I've always dressed this way.
00:28:31No, you haven't.
00:28:32It's gotten worse.
00:28:34Why are you doing this?
00:28:35I'm trying to help you.
00:28:36No, you're not.
00:28:37You're trying to help you.
00:28:39It's not about me.
00:28:40It's about what people think about you.
00:28:41Imagine if they thought your son was some big queer.
00:28:44What's wrong with you?
00:28:45Stop that.
00:28:47Nice, Mom.
00:28:49Great.
00:28:50Let's go home.
00:28:51I'm walking.
00:28:52No.
00:28:53Where are you going?
00:28:54Come on.
00:29:14I like that jacket.
00:29:18Hey, can I bite?
00:29:19Hey.
00:29:20Yes.
00:29:21Yeah.
00:29:21He's going to know.
00:29:22He's going to know.
00:29:23Come on.
00:29:23Come on.
00:29:24Come on.
00:29:25Come on.
00:29:26He's going to know.
00:29:28Wow.
00:29:33Check that together.
00:29:34Oh.
00:29:36Oh.
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:38Oh.
00:29:39Oh.
00:29:39Oh.
00:29:40Oh.
00:29:40Oh.
00:29:41Oh.
00:29:41Oh.
00:29:42This is amazing.
00:29:43Oh.
00:29:43Oh.
00:29:44Oh.
00:29:44I haven't seen you around here before.
00:30:04You are really beautiful.
00:30:12I gotta go.
00:30:14Can I call you?
00:30:20No.
00:30:38Bobby.
00:30:40Don't worry, I was at church.
00:30:42I have a name.
00:30:44It's gorgeous cousin.
00:30:48How long are you here for?
00:30:50Just a day.
00:30:51I'm driving home tonight.
00:30:52I came in to see my dad, but I couldn't resist stopping by.
00:30:56Maybe it's not a choice.
00:30:58Maybe I just can't help it.
00:31:00It's like saying stealing is not a choice.
00:31:02What?
00:31:03What?
00:31:04Aunt Mary, lunch is delicious.
00:31:05Joy's right, Bobby.
00:31:06The Bible says men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the
00:31:09due penalty for their error.
00:31:10You just won't change, will you?
00:31:12Well, I can't erase what's in the Bible.
00:31:14Personally, I think people should be able to love whoever they want.
00:31:18Mmm.
00:31:19Did I mention how good lunch is?
00:31:20Even animals know who to do it with.
00:31:21Actually, our dog does it with a pillow.
00:31:22Can we please find something different to discuss?
00:31:23Yeah.
00:31:24Ed, you're up.
00:31:25What about, uh, why don't you tell us about college?
00:31:26I dropped out of school last week.
00:31:27You what?
00:31:28What?
00:31:29I'm not going to tell you.
00:31:30I'm not going to tell you.
00:31:31I'm not going to tell you.
00:31:32I can't erase what's in the Bible.
00:31:33Personally, I think people should be able to love whoever they want.
00:31:35Did I mention how good lunch is?
00:31:37Even animals know who to do it with.
00:31:38Actually, our dog does it with a pillow.
00:31:40Can we please find something different to discuss?
00:31:45Yeah.
00:31:46Ed, you're up.
00:31:47What about, uh, why don't you tell us about college?
00:31:49I dropped out of school last week.
00:31:51You what?
00:31:54Well, what about college?
00:31:57I'm not going.
00:31:59Great.
00:32:02What's next?
00:32:03You gonna ruin your life?
00:32:05Yeah, well, it's my life to ruin.
00:32:14Is it like this at every meal?
00:32:16Pretty much.
00:32:18You should come up and visit me in Portland.
00:32:21It's so great.
00:32:22I used to envy you.
00:32:24When I'd come here with Mom and Dad, I always wished your parents were my parents.
00:32:29You all seem so close.
00:32:31Well, that's over with.
00:32:33Hey, I think they love the sin or just not the sin.
00:32:36They should love the son no matter what the sin.
00:32:38Hey, that's good.
00:32:39I'm gonna start my own Bible.
00:32:50Think about coming to Portland?
00:32:56Hi, Mrs. Griffith.
00:32:57Is Bobby here?
00:33:01Bobby, you know, it's enough you go God knows where at night, but now you're bringing these deviants into my house.
00:33:07It's my house, too.
00:33:09And they're my friends.
00:33:10Is that what that boy is?
00:33:11Is it a sin to have friends now, too, Mom?
00:33:13We have a good time, okay?
00:33:15We go to the Rocky Horror together.
00:33:16Does that mean we're all gonna get struck down?
00:33:18You're gay, aren't they?
00:33:20I thought you were getting better.
00:33:22When?
00:33:23When I was miserable, that looked like I was getting better?
00:33:25You're right, Mom.
00:33:26I'm doomed just to roast in hell.
00:33:28Don't say that.
00:33:29Well, that's what your Bible says.
00:33:30The Bible also says a person can change.
00:33:32I tried, Mom.
00:33:33I can't.
00:33:34Why do you keep choosing this?
00:33:36Why would I choose this?
00:33:38Why would I choose to have my entire family hate me?
00:33:40No, we love you.
00:33:41Can you see that's why we're doing this?
00:33:43Really, Mom?
00:33:44This is what love feels like?
00:33:45Have fun in Portland.
00:33:52Here's a new shirt for your vacation.
00:33:56I hope you like it.
00:33:58Promise me you'll write and call all the time.
00:34:03It's two months.
00:34:05Drive carefully.
00:34:08Don't worry, man.
00:34:10You'll call me when you get to Portland.
00:34:14I had this engraved with your initials.
00:34:31I love you guys.
00:34:34Bye.
00:34:36Have fun inside.
00:34:38Bye, Bobby.
00:34:44Already I'm glad to be away from Walnut Creek.
00:34:54This feels like a new life.
00:34:56A new day.
00:34:57And I'm going to be a success in every way I can.
00:35:00It is my goal to achieve a sense of pride and worth as a human being.
00:35:10but I'm going to be a success in every day.
00:35:18Gorgeous cousin.
00:35:20Gorgeous cousin.
00:35:21Come on in.
00:35:23Welcome to Portland!
00:35:26Trust me, you don't find clubs like this back at home.
00:35:47I see.
00:35:48Woo!
00:35:49Woo!
00:36:00Welcome to Wonderland, Kevin.
00:36:02This is amazing.
00:36:03Let's go, Boogie.
00:36:05Here we go.
00:36:11Woo!
00:36:12Woo!
00:36:15Woo!
00:36:20Woo!
00:36:25Woo!
00:36:27J'nash!
00:36:29Yay!
00:36:31This is my cousin, Bobby.
00:36:35Nice to finally meet you, Bobby.
00:37:01So Jeanette tells me your mom wants to cure you of your gayness.
00:37:15Yeah, well, my parents don't really understand it. Do yours?
00:37:20They didn't at first, but they eventually came around.
00:37:24How'd you get him to change?
00:37:26Well, one day, I told him, accept me as I am or forget.
00:37:33I know my mom means well, but I don't know if she'll ever accept me.
00:37:41Just don't stop trying.
00:37:56Have a great trip.
00:38:12Have a great trip.
00:38:25Don't let her get to you.
00:38:28And don't be afraid to stand up to her.
00:38:42Two months flew by fast.
00:38:50I'll call you when I get home.
00:38:53You better.
00:38:59Oh, look who's home.
00:39:00Hey, Dad.
00:39:01Hey, come here.
00:39:02Come here.
00:39:03Just in time for dinner.
00:39:05Come on.
00:39:07That's funny.
00:39:08Nice.
00:39:09So how was Portland?
00:39:10Yeah.
00:39:11Portland is great.
00:39:13Good.
00:39:14I'm thinking of maybe moving there for a little bit.
00:39:17Wow.
00:39:17Moving there?
00:39:18I met someone.
00:39:21Okay.
00:39:24A guy.
00:39:29Girls, you know, give me a hand with this.
00:39:35Are we supposed to pretend we didn't hear that?
00:39:38Yes.
00:39:39Bobby?
00:39:41This might not have been the right time.
00:39:43I know.
00:39:44I'm sorry.
00:39:50You should start thinking about college for next fall.
00:39:53You need to get your GED first.
00:39:55I mean, it's okay to take some time off, but then they start to...
00:39:58Did you hear me?
00:39:58I don't want to know.
00:39:59I don't want to know.
00:40:00I want you to know.
00:40:03His name is David.
00:40:04We always start at the beginning every time.
00:40:06If we're not going to get anywhere different, let's just not go there.
00:40:09When I'm with him, it feels so good.
00:40:13He treats me well.
00:40:15He's funny and he's smart.
00:40:17Robert, I mean it.
00:40:18I don't want to hear it.
00:40:19You know I don't.
00:40:20I've spent the last year listening to you and you're going to listen to me for once.
00:40:24It feels good when I'm with David.
00:40:27But if he touches me in public or God forbid kisses me, I pull away.
00:40:34I feel ashamed.
00:40:35Because you know it's wrong.
00:40:36Because you told me it's wrong.
00:40:38It's not me.
00:40:39It's the Bible.
00:40:40It's not the Bible.
00:40:41It's you.
00:40:42Why can't you admit that?
00:40:44Why can't you admit that you can't stand what I am?
00:40:47What you've become.
00:40:48What I am.
00:40:51I'm sorry.
00:40:52I'm not the perfect little Bobby you always wanted.
00:40:54But I can't keep apologizing for it, Mom.
00:40:57Accept me as I am or forget it.
00:40:59I won't have a gay son.
00:41:03Then, Mom, you don't have a son.
00:41:05Bye.
00:41:14Bobby.
00:41:27Do you really think she'd change Bobby?
00:41:33She meant it.
00:41:35She meant that.
00:41:42I really want you to be happy.
00:41:46I'm sure that guy's really nice.
00:41:50No matter what, she'll never accept it.
00:41:54It's going to be a lonely life because he will never be welcome here.
00:41:57And for Christmas, Thanksgiving, anything.
00:42:00Don't worry about Mom too much.
00:42:12She'll come around.
00:42:14You're not going to hold my breath.
00:42:18Here you go.
00:42:19I'll send you my first novel when I write it.
00:42:36Bye, Bucktooth.
00:42:37Take care.
00:42:38Take care, okay?
00:42:42Drive safe.
00:42:43Drive safe.
00:44:02Well, your mom went all out for your birthday.
00:44:06No card, a sweater, and eight, the wrath of God.
00:44:12Wow.
00:44:13Happy birthday.
00:44:14Happy birthday.
00:44:15You can't expect anything different from her, Bobby.
00:44:19She's not gonna change.
00:44:20Birthdays were always a big deal for all of us.
00:44:24There's just not an all of us anymore.
00:44:27I can't get that through my head.
00:44:28There's David.
00:44:29Talk to you later.
00:44:30You sure this is okay?
00:44:31They're gonna love you.
00:44:32Let's go.
00:44:33Dad, did you have to tell that story?
00:44:34Hey, I-I felt I had to.
00:44:35Yes.
00:44:36And I've got about an hour and a half and a half and a half and a half and a half and
00:44:37a half and a half and a half and a half and a half and a half and a half and a half.
00:44:38You sure this is okay?
00:44:49They're gonna love you.
00:44:51Let's go.
00:44:55Dad, did you have to tell that story?
00:44:58Hey, I-I felt I had to.
00:45:00Yes.
00:45:01And I've got about a dozen more where that came from if you're interested, Bobby.
00:45:05Oh, oh, no thanks.
00:45:06Oh, thanks.
00:45:07So, Bobby, tell us more about you.
00:45:10You grew up in Walnut Creek, right?
00:45:12David says you're very close to your family.
00:45:14Yeah.
00:45:15So, how are your parents with you being gay?
00:45:18Not good.
00:45:20Well, maybe it's just hard for them at first.
00:45:23They'll come around.
00:45:24You seem like such a wonderful young man.
00:45:26I'm sure they love you.
00:45:28Hey, cheers to that.
00:45:31Cheers to that.
00:45:32It's great to meet you, Bobby.
00:45:34So, how did you guys meet?
00:45:36Mm-hmm.
00:45:37Uh, you know what your dad is?
00:45:38Yeah.
00:45:39Uh, this is disgusting.
00:45:40Okay.
00:45:41It's a sin.
00:45:44It's not not true.
00:45:45You'll come around and ruin your life.
00:45:49It's a sin.
00:45:50You will never be welcome here.
00:45:51Why do you keep choosing this?
00:45:53Sometimes I hurt so bad.
00:45:56I'm scared and alone.
00:45:58I'm sure we love you.
00:46:01I am damned.
00:46:03Shh.
00:46:04I'm slowly sinking in a vast lake of quicksand.
00:46:10A bottomless pool.
00:46:12I wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep forever.
00:46:29You've reached David.
00:46:30I'm not here right now, but if you leave a message after the beep, I'll get right back to you.
00:46:34Have a good one.
00:46:35Hey, David.
00:46:36It's Bobby.
00:46:37I thought you'd be there.
00:46:38Look, I really need someone to talk to when I was hoping you'd be there.
00:46:42And please, dear Lord, continue to convict Bobby's heart of sin.
00:46:57Oh, man.
00:46:58Oh, look.
00:46:59Oh, look.
00:47:00Oh, look.
00:47:01Oh, look.
00:47:02Oh, look.
00:47:03Oh, look.
00:47:04Oh, look.
00:47:05Oh, look.
00:47:07Oh, look.
00:47:08Oh, look.
00:47:09Oh, look.
00:47:10Oh.
00:47:11Oh, look.
00:47:12Oh, look, oh.
00:47:13Oh, yeah.
00:47:14Ah.
00:47:18That he may find his way.
00:47:20The way of purity, the way of the righteous.
00:47:41It's a sin.
00:48:09It's not natural.
00:48:39I won't have a gay son.
00:49:03You're gonna be late for school.
00:49:15You're the one who slept in.
00:49:16Okay, well then we're both gonna be late for school.
00:49:19Meet you in the car.
00:49:20Okay.
00:49:21Hi.
00:49:22Hello?
00:49:23Jeanette, what's wrong?
00:49:28What's wrong?
00:49:34No.
00:49:35What's wrong?
00:49:36Nancy, get out of here!
00:49:38Dad!
00:49:39Daddy!
00:49:40Hello?
00:49:41Hi.
00:49:42Hi, Jeanette.
00:49:43Mary, you're being called out front and is set to break your purse.
00:49:56Probably one of the kids needs money again.
00:49:59I need a break anyway.
00:50:00Bye.
00:50:01Bye.
00:50:24What is that?
00:50:28Uh, Bobby killed himself.
00:50:35He jumped off a bridge.
00:50:36He's gone.
00:50:41Help me!
00:50:45Help me!
00:50:50My son is dead!
00:50:51Let me out!
00:50:53Let me out!
00:50:54My son is dead!
00:50:55Let me out!
00:50:56My son is dead!
00:50:57Let me out!
00:50:58Hey Joy, slow down.
00:50:59What's wrong?
00:51:13All right.
00:51:43Ah!
00:51:46Ah!
00:51:49Ah!
00:52:13Ah!
00:52:15Ah!
00:52:17Ah!
00:52:18Ah!
00:52:20Ah!
00:52:21Ah!
00:52:22Ah!
00:52:23Ah!
00:52:24Ah!
00:52:25Ah!
00:52:26Ah!
00:52:27Ah!
00:52:28Ah!
00:52:29Ah!
00:52:30Ah!
00:52:31Ah!
00:52:33Ah!
00:52:34Ah!
00:52:36Ah!
00:52:37Ah!
00:52:38Ah!
00:52:39Ah!
00:52:40Ah!
00:52:42Ah!
00:52:44Ah!
00:52:45Ah!
00:52:46Ah!
00:52:47Ah!
00:52:48Ah!
00:52:49Ah!
00:52:50Ah!
00:52:51Ah!
00:52:52Ah!
00:52:53Ah!
00:52:54Ah!
00:52:55Ah!
00:52:56Ah!
00:52:57Ah!
00:52:58Ah!
00:52:59Ah!
00:53:00Ah!
00:53:01Ah!
00:53:02condemn the sin, not the sinner. It was this sin that Bobby succumbed to. It led
00:53:11to his unhappiness and it led him to take his own life. As goodness begets
00:53:19goodness, so does sin begets sin.
00:53:32You're running low. Mom, do you think Bobby got salvation? I don't know. Suicide is a sin.
00:54:01But maybe God knew that Bobby wasn't in his right mind. I mean, why would God
00:54:07allow Bobby to go to hell if it was in his power to cure him? I don't know, Mary.
00:54:12Pull yourself together. People are uncomfortable enough.
00:54:25Thanks for coming.
00:54:31Mrs. Griffith. Mr. Griffith. I'm David. I was a friend of Bobby's. I wanted to offer
00:54:47my condolences.
00:55:06He was an amazing young man.
00:55:08Mr. Griffith. I'm so sorry.
00:55:38Aunt Mary, David is a good person. All of Bobby's friends were.
00:55:45When Bobby was here, it was under control. Then he moves to Portland and someone puts all
00:55:50these ideas into his head. It wasn't like that. David cared for Bobby.
00:55:53We're his family. We knew how to help him. He wanted to change, to be closer to God.
00:55:58To be closer to you. Then he just got further and further into that lifestyle and then he couldn't get out.
00:56:02Do you believe everything they tell you in church? I know you and Uncle Bob meant well, but that sermon?
00:56:09Bobby knew the repercussions of a homosexual lifestyle.
00:56:11Bobby was good and decent and kind. Someone who didn't even know Bobby stood up there and condemned him and you let him.
00:56:19Bobby did everything he could to make himself acceptable to you. He was so good and bright and funny. He should be praised.
00:56:27I'm sorry you can't see it that way. Maybe you should go. Fine. I left Bobby's things in his room.
00:56:57He insisted he did everything he breaks so long.
00:56:59He để ra famil ohne Blinders.
00:57:06I need a camera at all.
00:57:07He says, If so, I need a camera at all.
00:57:12sort of Isn't somebody false?
00:57:13He needs a camera at all.
00:57:16Dar
00:57:18And Terry would speak to them as always.
00:57:21We're my stomach.
00:57:23How are you expertise?
00:57:25Bobby.
00:57:30Hey, Mom.
00:57:33Don't you ever do that again.
00:57:35I knew it wasn't true.
00:57:37I knew God would bring you back to me.
00:57:40Mom, you worry too much.
00:57:41No.
00:57:55I'm slowly sinking in a vast lake of quicksand.
00:58:21A bottomless pool.
00:58:24I wish I could crawl under a rock and sleep forever.
00:58:27No one understands me.
00:58:30No one in this house can accept my side of the story.
00:58:32I can feel God's eyes looking down on me with pity.
00:58:35I can't ever let anyone find out I'm not straight.
00:58:38It would be so humiliating.
00:58:40My friends would hate me.
00:58:41And my family.
00:58:43Mom.
00:58:44I've overheard them.
00:58:45Mom, thank you.
00:58:47They've said that they hate gays.
00:58:49And even God hates gays.
00:58:50It really scares me when they talk that way because now they are talking about me.
00:58:56I don't want to choose sin.
00:58:58I don't.
00:58:59I am so mad and frustrated, God.
00:59:02I seem to be at the end of the road.
00:59:05Why do you remain silent?
00:59:06May 30th.
00:59:10Memorial Day barbecue.
00:59:12I had fun.
00:59:14Mom was her sweet and funny self.
00:59:16Like the old mom.
00:59:18For a second it felt like the old days.
00:59:21She smiled at something I said.
00:59:23And I saw in her eyes that for a second she forgot what she really thinks of me.
00:59:26The anger never erupts.
00:59:31My timid nature would never allow a full-fledged thunderstorm to occur.
00:59:35But it's there on the horizon.
00:59:38I can feel God's eyes looking down on me with such pity.
00:59:42He can't help me though.
00:59:44Because I have chosen sin over righteousness.
00:59:46Things will get better.
00:59:52Just give it time.
00:59:57Give it time.
01:00:02But it ain't easy.
01:00:13Excuse me.
01:00:15You alright, Ed?
01:00:17Yeah, I'm fantastic.
01:00:18I think we all are.
01:00:19Isn't that obvious?
01:00:20Ed, we have to deal with this as a family.
01:00:24That was your answer for Bobby too, but it didn't work.
01:00:27Damn it.
01:00:29I'll go.
01:00:30I'll go.
01:00:31Excuse me.
01:00:37Come on, Nancy.
01:00:45You want to get out of here?
01:01:08Maybe you go for a beer?
01:01:09Did he even think about what it would do to us?
01:01:23I mean, he could have called something, but it would just screw us, right?
01:01:29Yeah.
01:01:30And nothing.
01:01:31No goodbye.
01:01:32No note.
01:01:32Nothing.
01:01:32Just...
01:01:33I'm sorry.
01:01:41I'm sorry.
01:01:44Are you happy now?
01:01:45I'm sorry, Bobby!
01:01:48Are you happy now?
01:01:49I'm sorry, Bobby!
01:01:49Are you happy now?
01:01:50Yeah.
01:01:53It's not your fault.
01:01:55There must be other Bobbies out there.
01:02:13Other young gay people who may be thinking of taking their lives.
01:02:18Does the church reach out to them?
01:02:20There are other churches that do that.
01:02:26Reverend Joseph asked us to tell you how sorry he is for your loss.
01:02:32We could come back in a couple of weeks and check in on your family.
01:02:35You don't understand.
01:02:36I...
01:02:39I don't know what to do.
01:02:44I need to make peace with this, and I can't.
01:02:47The Lord says the impure will be thrown into the lake of fire.
01:02:56Bobby sinned, but he was pure of heart.
01:03:00He'd never knowingly hurt anyone.
01:03:05Is that enough?
01:03:13Is it?
01:03:14Is it?
01:03:17Dear God,
01:03:22my relationship to you
01:03:23leaves something to be desired.
01:03:26I have never asked of you,
01:03:28only given, as I was told.
01:03:30Your Holy Spirit has taught me so much,
01:03:33but now there's more I need to know.
01:03:43Hey.
01:03:43Hey.
01:03:47I can't.
01:03:53Okay.
01:04:03I think I'll sleep in the living room.
01:04:05I'll sleep in the living room.
01:04:24There you go.
01:04:26It's okay.
01:04:27No, no.
01:04:41Do you make this?
01:04:43Yeah.
01:04:44I just did, because my grandmother went on.
01:04:49Did you read it?
01:04:50Yes.
01:04:51No, no.
01:04:52You're right.
01:04:53Reverend?
01:04:55Mary Griffin.
01:04:56Nice to have you with us, Mary.
01:04:57The Bible.
01:04:59It says that homosexuality is a sin punishable by death.
01:05:03Do you believe that?
01:05:04There are other interpretations of the Bible, Mrs. Greffens.
01:05:07My son was gay, and he killed himself.
01:05:13Is there another interpretation of that?
01:05:18I'm sorry.
01:05:23What was his name?
01:05:26Bobby?
01:05:28Bobby Griffith?
01:05:32I saw him here a couple of times.
01:05:34My Bobby?
01:05:35He always sat way in the back.
01:05:38And he stopped coming.
01:05:41I am so sorry.
01:05:43You must be.
01:05:44I need answers.
01:05:46I need to know where he is.
01:05:48Is homosexuality an unforgivable sin?
01:05:51Leviticus 18.22 says,
01:05:54If a man lies with another man, it is an abomination.
01:05:58An abomination in that time didn't mean sin.
01:06:00It meant unclean.
01:06:02Leviticus also goes on to, say, eating shellfish is an abomination.
01:06:06Or mixing fabrics.
01:06:08Leviticus 20.13.
01:06:10If a man lies with another man, they both shall be put to death.
01:06:13And then he says the same thing about an adulterer or a child that disobeys their parents.
01:06:19And we certainly don't interpret that scripture literally.
01:06:21In Deuteronomy 22,
01:06:23If a woman is not a virgin on her wedding day, she shall be taken to her father's house and stoned to death.
01:06:29So what do you tell people who come here?
01:06:33Gay people.
01:06:35That homosexuality is okay?
01:06:37That it is permissible in God's eyes?
01:06:40I tell them what I believe to be the truth.
01:06:42That God loves them as they are.
01:06:44God's vengeance is great.
01:06:47So is his compassion.
01:06:49You shouldn't teach them that homosexuality is okay.
01:06:52That's not what the Bible says.
01:06:55It just confuses them more.
01:06:57Mrs. Griffith, if you would like to come back during the week and talk, my door is open.
01:07:01But not to be blamed.
01:07:03Okay?
01:07:22Well, I think we got a pretty good one.
01:07:45It's nice and full.
01:07:47A couple of bald spots kind of like your dear old dad.
01:07:50Or your grandma.
01:07:52Yeah.
01:07:55Yeah.
01:07:56Mom, can you hang this one on the tree?
01:07:59We should.
01:08:02I remember when he made this.
01:08:05Second grade.
01:08:07Mrs. Tom's class, I think.
01:08:10He was so proud of himself.
01:08:15Where do you want to put it?
01:08:17Up high.
01:08:19So he can look out.
01:08:21Hey.
01:08:22They work.
01:08:23I'm gonna go check out the cookies.
01:08:25Hey.
01:08:26They work.
01:08:27I'm gonna go check out the cookies.
01:08:32I'm gonna go check out the cookies.
01:08:34I'm gonna go check out the cookies.
01:08:37I found the passage you talked about.
01:08:38About stoning to death.
01:08:39Deuteronomy 22.
01:08:40But what about Sodom and Gomorrah?
01:08:43God punished the sin of homosexuality.
01:08:44How do you explain that?
01:08:46It's nice to see you too, Mary.
01:08:47How do you explain that?
01:08:48It's nice to see you too, Mary.
01:08:49What's this for?
01:08:50It's a rummage sale.
01:08:51I found the passage you talked about, about stoning to death, Deuteronomy 22.
01:09:06But what about Sodom and Gomorrah?
01:09:09God punished the sin of homosexuality.
01:09:11How do you explain that?
01:09:13It's nice to see you too, Mary.
01:09:16What's this for?
01:09:17It's a rummage sale.
01:09:18Oh, gay people have rummage too.
01:09:22So, what about Sodom and Gomorrah?
01:09:26Many scholars think the sin was greed and not homosexuality.
01:09:30And it wasn't labeled homosexuality until years after it was written.
01:09:34Do you have answers for all these things just to justify being that way?
01:09:39Your answer is to justify that it's wrong.
01:09:41I guess we're at an impasse here.
01:09:43So, you think it's okay to interpret the Bible any way you want?
01:09:49No, of course not.
01:09:50But the Bible was written and interpreted by mortal men.
01:09:54And many of those interpretations were reflections of the time in which they lived.
01:09:59So, you feel completely free to question it?
01:10:03Because I think it's blasphemous.
01:10:06I don't think God minds questions.
01:10:08He might not be thrilled with all of our answers, but I think blind faith is just as dangerous as none at all.
01:10:16Well, I've never questioned my faith.
01:10:18I've never had reason to.
01:10:20Sometimes to question it helps you find a deeper faith.
01:10:27Bobby stopped coming here.
01:10:28I think the reason was he could never allow himself to feel worthy of God's love.
01:10:40And we didn't help.
01:10:42Mary, have you ever heard about P-Flag?
01:10:47It's a national organization.
01:10:48It's Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
01:10:51No, that's not for me.
01:10:52It could help.
01:10:53You'd be able to see you're not so alone in this.
01:10:56Bye, Reverend.
01:10:57No, now there is a woman in Concord, Betty Lambert.
01:11:00You'll love her.
01:11:01She has a gay son in his 30s.
01:11:04I just had a few questions.
01:11:05I don't need anything else.
01:11:07Just in case.
01:11:11Pope Hill's famous pocket fisherman.
01:11:14Over two million...
01:11:14It's true.
01:11:15There's a passage that says if children are disobedient, they should be put to death.
01:11:20And I mean, no one interprets that literally.
01:11:22Mm-hmm.
01:11:23What I'm saying is, if the church no longer interprets that literally, maybe homosexuality is also on that list.
01:11:32Maybe.
01:11:34Well, don't you think that's important?
01:11:37Mary, I wasn't all that keen on the first interpretation of the Bible.
01:11:39Well, it could mean that Bobby's in heaven.
01:11:43Yeah, well, he's not here, all right?
01:11:45Why isn't that enough for you?
01:11:47Is it enough for you?
01:11:51Does it make it any better, everything you're doing?
01:11:54Well, what do you want me to do?
01:11:55Just forget about him?
01:11:57I can't do that.
01:11:58Maybe you can.
01:11:59I don't want to forget about him, Mary.
01:12:00I want to remember him, and then I want to move on.
01:12:02But I can't.
01:12:03Nobody can.
01:12:04Just walk away, you know, like you always do.
01:12:07You never deal with anything.
01:12:09Oh, I see.
01:12:09Maybe, maybe if I did, Bobby would still be alive today.
01:12:13Is that what you're saying, Mary?
01:12:13Is that what you think?
01:12:17You can answer me?
01:12:25Listen, Mary.
01:12:27We both made mistakes.
01:12:28We all made mistakes.
01:12:29But it's done.
01:12:29He's gone.
01:12:30We're not going to bring him back!
01:12:31I know that!
01:12:35Don't you know I know that!
01:12:59Mary?
01:13:00I'm Betty.
01:13:01Hello.
01:13:02Betty Lambert.
01:13:03I'm so glad you called.
01:13:05Please, come in.
01:13:07Reverend Witzel told me what happened to Bobby.
01:13:10I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose a child like that.
01:13:15How long has it been?
01:13:18Um, six months.
01:13:21Six months and a few days.
01:13:23Our son was 14 when he came out to us.
01:13:28Isn't that a little young?
01:13:30Oh.
01:13:32I knew before then.
01:13:35We mothers, we always know, don't we?
01:13:38And you were okay with it?
01:13:39And you were okay with it?
01:13:40Oh, God, no.
01:13:41I don't think any parent hears the news and thinks, oh, Goody.
01:13:50Goody wasn't the first word that came to my mind.
01:13:53Mary, why don't you come to a PFLAG meeting with me?
01:14:01No, I'm not good at talking in groups.
01:14:05So don't talk.
01:14:08No, just come and listen.
01:14:10I think you'll be shocked at how many people think they were the all-American family.
01:14:18I'll think about it.
01:14:23Mm-hmm.
01:14:24Eric was taunted at school all the time.
01:14:27Then he got beat up.
01:14:29Mary, you came.
01:14:30I can't stay long.
01:14:31That's all right.
01:14:32Come on in.
01:14:33I'm so furious.
01:14:34I went to the principal.
01:14:35But he didn't do a thing to the boys who did it.
01:14:39I was shocked by that.
01:14:42I called them fruits and fairies.
01:14:45I didn't know.
01:14:47It took me a long time to accept my Sam.
01:14:51I think I always knew.
01:14:53I mean, he asked for a pink Lacoste shirt for his birthday.
01:14:58He's always different.
01:15:00So he tells me he's gay.
01:15:02And what do I do?
01:15:03I take him hunting.
01:15:05There he is in his pink Lacoste shirt.
01:15:07He saw a deer and yelled, run, Bambi, run.
01:15:11I always knew I could love my son.
01:15:15I never thought I could accept him for who he is.
01:15:18Well, when Jill told me she was gay, I insisted she see a psychiatrist.
01:15:23But when that man suggested shock therapy, I looked at my baby and the hurt in her eyes.
01:15:32And I thought this is crazy.
01:15:35Oh, hello, Reverend.
01:15:36Please come sit down.
01:15:37Hi, guys.
01:15:38Hi, Reverend.
01:15:39Nice to see all of you here tonight.
01:15:41As you may know, Reverend Witzel is pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church.
01:15:46And he's proposing a gay freedom day to the Walnut Creek City Council.
01:15:52The City Council vote happens in about a month.
01:15:55And I would love all your support.
01:15:57And I would love all your support.
01:16:27Mary?
01:16:52Mary, what are you doing out here?
01:16:57You're so coming, son.
01:16:59I didn't know where else to go.
01:17:07I was sitting there listening to all their stories about how they always just knew their kid was different.
01:17:18And then I had this dream tonight.
01:17:23Bobby was a baby.
01:17:26My son was always different.
01:17:39His difference began at conception.
01:17:42I knew that.
01:17:44I knew that.
01:17:47I felt it.
01:17:50I know now why God didn't heal Bobby.
01:17:56He didn't heal him because there was nothing wrong with him.
01:18:03He didn't heal him because there was nothing wrong with him.
01:18:06I did this.
01:18:09I killed my son.
01:18:11You did not kill your son.
01:18:12Bobby killed himself.
01:18:14How can God forgive me?
01:18:18How can Bobby forgive me?
01:18:20God has already done the forgiving.
01:18:22You have to forgive yourself.
01:18:24Oh.
01:18:27I'm so sorry.
01:18:28I'm so sorry.
01:18:33I'm so sorry.
01:18:33I'm so sorry.
01:18:35I'm so sorry.
01:18:38I'm so sorry.
01:18:43Dear God, give us something we can live with and pass on to others whose lives will never be the same because of a loved one's death.
01:18:51I did not decide on brown eyes for myself, and I now realize that Bobby did not decide to be gay.
01:18:59If you say in your word that it is evil and wicked to be born with no arms, and a child is born with no arms, what is that child to think?
01:19:10The key flag organization for parents are looking for.
01:19:13I hope she's happy.
01:19:14Our first order of business is a proposal for a gay freedom day in Walnut Creek.
01:19:23Attention, please.
01:19:24We have a select group to debate the issue.
01:19:27I don't see her.
01:19:28Next time is Reverend Witzel.
01:19:30For one day, for one day, people can celebrate their difference rather than feel shame.
01:19:36They should be ashamed.
01:19:38There are so many other people who need our time and our attention.
01:19:45Why are we wasting it on this?
01:19:47All right.
01:19:47All right.
01:19:48Let's have some order here, please.
01:19:50They spit in the face of decency and morality.
01:19:55We cannot allow the fabric of our society to be torn apart.
01:20:01Right?
01:20:02I tried to run for the Human Relations Commission.
01:20:11They picked that limp-wristed Witzel instead.
01:20:14I sent them a letter.
01:20:16I said, we sing hymns at our church.
01:20:18What do you do with the hymns at your church?
01:20:20So unless anyone else has anything else to add, we'll adjourn to make our decision.
01:20:26Mary?
01:20:28Hey, Dad!
01:20:30Dad, get in here!
01:20:31Dad, hurry up!
01:20:33Mom's on TV!
01:20:35Homosexuality is a sin.
01:20:38Homosexuals are doomed to spend eternity in hell.
01:20:42If they wanted to change, they could be healed of their evil ways.
01:20:47If they would turn away from temptation, they could be normal again.
01:20:52If only they would try and try harder if it doesn't work.
01:20:57These are all the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay.
01:21:01When he told me he was homosexual, my world fell apart.
01:21:06I did everything I could to cure him of his sickness.
01:21:11Eight months ago, my son jumped off a bridge and killed himself.
01:21:15I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people.
01:21:21If I had investigated beyond what I was told, if I had just listened to my son when he poured his heart out to me, I would not be standing here today with you filled with regret.
01:21:43I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit.
01:21:48In God's eyes, kindness and love are what it's all about.
01:21:52I didn't know that each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people, each time I referred to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children,
01:22:05his self-esteem, his sense of worth were being destroyed.
01:22:10And finally, his spirit broke beyond repair.
01:22:15It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass and jumped directly into the path of an 18-wheel truck, which killed him instantly.
01:22:31Bobby's death was the direct result of his parents' ignorance and fear of the word gay.
01:22:38Bobby, he wanted to be a writer.
01:22:44His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him, but they were.
01:22:50There are children like Bobby sitting in your congregations.
01:22:57Unknown to you, they will be listening as you echo amen.
01:23:04And that will soon silence their prayers.
01:23:08They're prayers to God for understanding and acceptance and for your love.
01:23:16But your hatred and fear and ignorance of the word gay will silence those prayers.
01:23:22So, before you echo amen in your home and place of worship, think.
01:23:34Think and remember, a child is listening.
01:23:44Go, Mom.
01:23:45She did good.
01:23:53She did good.
01:23:57We lost.
01:24:08They voted the ordinance down.
01:24:10Well, we'll try again next year, all right?
01:24:14So, we're really going to San Francisco, huh?
01:24:17I think we have to.
01:24:18I don't think it's a choice.
01:24:19Well, that's ironic.
01:24:26Okay.
01:24:33Are we late?
01:24:38Just in time.
01:24:39Just in time.
01:24:41Oh, Jackie, is this everyone?
01:24:42Oh, honey, no.
01:24:44Come with me.
01:24:44We have a special place for you.
01:24:47Okay.
01:24:47Come with me.
01:25:08Come with me.
01:25:09Come with me.
01:25:10To all the Bobbies and Janes out there,
01:25:35I say these words to you
01:25:37as I would my own precious children.
01:25:40Please don't give up hope on life,
01:25:42or yourselves.
01:25:44You're very special to me,
01:25:46and I'm working very hard to make this life
01:25:48a better and safer place for you to live in.
01:25:51Promise me you'll keep trying.
01:25:54Bobby gave up on love.
01:25:56I hope you won't.
01:25:58You were always in my thoughts.
01:26:02My name is Bobby Griffith.
01:26:05I write this in hopes that one day,
01:26:07many years from now,
01:26:09I will be able to go back and remember what my life was like
01:26:12when I was a young and confused adolescent,
01:26:15desperately trying to understand myself and the world I live in.
01:26:18Another reason I write this is so long after I die,
01:26:23others may have a chance to read about me
01:26:25and see what my life as a young person was like.
01:26:30A young person was like,
01:26:36you know I know I'm not being used,
01:26:38but I feel at the same time as a young person was like a young person to come to me.
01:26:43And I have a chance to learn some things.
01:26:44You can learn some things.
01:26:44It's a long time to learn some things.
01:26:46But I knew all things were going on.
01:26:47You have to be able to realize some of my life,
01:26:48and then you have to be able to watch him.
01:26:49You need to have much fun every day.
01:26:51You have to be able to watch him.
01:26:52You're free and be able to watch your kids.
01:26:54This is a crazy world
01:27:10These can be lonely days
01:27:17It's hard to know who's on your side
01:27:23Most of the time
01:27:26Who can you really trust?
01:27:33Who do you really know?
01:27:41Is there anybody out there
01:27:44Who can make you feel less alone?
01:27:48Sometimes you just can make it on your own
01:27:54If you need a place where you can run
01:28:00If you need a shoulder to cry on
01:28:04Well, I'll always be your friend
01:28:10I'll always be your friend