#ShowFilm98
#virgins
#virgins
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Short filmTranscript
00:00How do you envision your first time?
00:02It's intimate, it's steamy.
00:07Pure paradise.
00:08Not on the beach, though, because that would hurt, I think, and get messy.
00:12I imagine it feels glorious because people do it so much.
00:15I'm, of course, going to be in my head of, like, am I doing this right? Am I doing this right?
00:18My fear is being bad at it.
00:21I am 37 years young.
00:22I'm 42.
00:23I'm 35 years old.
00:25I'm 34.
00:26Yeah, I'm a virgin.
00:26Oh, oh, my gosh.
00:30You got it.
00:31I have never masturbated.
00:33I've never had an orgasm.
00:34I'm a prude.
00:36I felt that.
00:37Of course I want it.
00:38Who doesn't want it?
00:39But I'm not sure I can even have sex.
00:42Deep breath in.
00:43Oh.
00:45My situation is I am still a virgin.
00:49And what's even more crazy, I am a divorced virgin.
00:53That's wild.
00:54That is wild.
00:55We'll break that barrier sooner or later.
00:58Lord, let me get a drink.
01:01This is where people say the magic happens, but unfortunately for me, it doesn't.
01:07The farthest I've went with a woman is just second base.
01:10Touching boobs.
01:11When was the last time you had a real date?
01:1310 years ago.
01:14Whoa.
01:15Ab is a really great guy.
01:16I don't know why he's still a virgin.
01:18It's Tondra speed dating.
01:20I am scared to approach women.
01:23He just needs to get laid.
01:25I do believe in the fairy tale, but I don't hook up with people.
01:30I've never had a boyfriend.
01:31Like, that is abnormal.
01:33Go, Dan!
01:34Woo!
01:34I am extremely worried that having sex is never going to happen for me.
01:41Oh!
01:42I think that 34 is the perfect time.
01:45Oh, my gosh.
01:46Oh, my gosh.
01:47That's going to be fun.
01:48Spanking's my fetish.
01:50I was like, okay.
01:51Woo!
01:52Woo!
01:52What about self-pleasure?
01:54I feel like it's so uncomfortable for you.
01:56Like, ew.
01:57I can't help it.
01:58This is who I am.
01:59I've had enough.
02:00Do you think anyone's cute in here, Dan?
02:02Hey, boys.
02:03I get frustrated when people push me.
02:06Go have that conversation by yourself.
02:07What if I just turn into, like, a hoe?
02:11Kiss me, will ya?
02:13Oh, my gosh.
02:15I didn't expect this to happen.
02:16Are you excited?
02:36Yeah.
02:37Excited and nervous, but I think mainly more excited than this.
02:41It's a new experience for me.
02:44I'm Alex, and I'm a 34-year-old virgin.
02:46As you can see, I got a pretty spacious room.
02:53Or as my family likes to call it, my hole.
02:57This is my workout station.
02:58As you can see, I don't work out enough.
03:02But I try when I can, you know.
03:06Lift some weights.
03:08Pump some iron real quick.
03:10I got my guitar right here.
03:12I haven't played it much.
03:13As you can see, it's a little dusty.
03:14Still trying to learn, but, you know.
03:15I don't think it's an attitude, but we'll get there.
03:20A little birdie.
03:21My aunt made me.
03:22I love it.
03:23It's a little box for decoration for the bird to sit on.
03:25So right here is my dresser.
03:28This is my senior picture.
03:29Looked like a stud there.
03:31I don't know what happened.
03:41This is my grooming station.
03:42But one of the best parts of this is my calendar.
03:46It gives me motivation to look pretty.
03:48I look at the calendar, look at my face, and I groom myself up.
03:52Because I've got to be sexy for these girls.
03:54Never going to get them, but, you know, I like to fantasize.
03:57If I met a girl at the bar and wanted to bring her home, could I?
04:04Yes.
04:04Would I?
04:05No.
04:05Only because, to me, it's embarrassing.
04:09Men in their 30s, maybe, should be living on their own.
04:13Nice little breeze in the summertime.
04:14I live with my parents, so as soon as I mention I live with my parents, it's usually a turnoff, so.
04:25This is my bed.
04:27This is where people say the magic happens, but unfortunately for me, it doesn't.
04:39So living at home at 34 isn't what I expected.
04:45But it has its perks.
04:47I get home and there's a fresh meal made.
04:52I'll see you later, Mom.
04:53See you, bud.
04:54I don't really talk to my parents about women.
04:59I mean, mostly, like, if I have some issues, I'll talk to my sisters.
05:03I have two older sisters.
05:05Courtney is the oldest, Samantha is the middle.
05:10We're just sitting here waiting for him.
05:11I know.
05:11This happens all the time.
05:13Yo, he's taking forever.
05:17What up?
05:18Alex.
05:19It's about time.
05:20Well, let's go.
05:22Rushing us.
05:23Dude.
05:24My sisters like to tease me a lot.
05:25They give me crap.
05:28Most of the time.
05:29Whose car are we taking?
05:31I'm taking mine.
05:32The minivan, Samantha, of course.
05:33Let's do it.
05:34She has enough room for all of us.
05:35It's all in good fun and it's in loving support.
05:41I think.
05:43Alex, like.
05:44When are you going to get a haircut?
05:45Dude, I can see.
05:46Oh, my gosh.
05:46If you were sitting back there, you'd be able to see it.
05:48Listen, I'm going to get a haircut soon.
05:49I can see the hair growing over the side of his ears.
05:51I can see it.
05:52Oh, my.
05:53It's just weird.
05:53It's, like, translucent.
05:54I keep your beard a little bit trimmer.
05:56You need to cut that down.
05:57It looks very thick and full and crushy, but.
06:01I kind of like styling my hair sometimes.
06:03Alex, style how?
06:04You only get one style up.
06:06I think that we tend to give Alex a lot of, like, tough love.
06:11Because I can't believe Alex at 34 years old is still a virgin.
06:14Can't believe it.
06:15It's just.
06:17It's not that bad.
06:18Mom bought you a back shaver for Christmas.
06:19Did you ever use it?
06:21No, I actually have two.
06:23You have two?
06:24Well, then why don't you use it?
06:25Yeah.
06:25You need to sometimes, like, listen to what we're telling you and just take our advice.
06:33I think I'm still a virgin for a few reasons.
06:36I'm 34 and I live with my parents.
06:38The second would be my self-confidence.
06:41I overthink a lot and I go, what do I say?
06:44What do I do?
06:45Which kind of puts me in a bad spot because I look weird and it kind of goes downhill for me.
06:57The farthest I've went with a woman is just second base.
07:02Touching boobs.
07:02Wait, hold on.
07:05I have a question.
07:07Does touching the vagina on the outside for, like, two seconds count on the pants?
07:12Like, I don't know.
07:14But it literally, I'm not even kidding.
07:17Not even for two seconds.
07:18That's a weird conversation topic.
07:21The best goes first, you know what I'm saying.
07:23Yeah, right.
07:24No, we're saving the best for last because I'm the oldest.
07:26Oh!
07:26Yes!
07:27In high school, I wasn't treated well by some peers.
07:32One time, this one girl came up to me and said, hey, I really like you.
07:35Like, you know, you want to go out?
07:38Like, all right, cool.
07:40She's like, all right, uh, we need this spot at this time of day.
07:43So I did.
07:44And then I showed up and they were all laughing at me.
07:47Like, she and her friends were laughing at me.
07:49Turns out she was dating some other guy and just wanted to have them see her humiliate me in the hallway.
07:57Like, college starts and knowing that I didn't have the experience in high school made it college harder.
08:02I've been rejected multiple times in my life.
08:05It sucks.
08:07Like, in the moment, you're like, it's like a stab to the heart.
08:10Like, oh, damn.
08:11It does put a damper on the trust with women now.
08:14And that's kind of what makes it hard to approach women.
08:20Do a half-court shot.
08:21You do that, your belly's really going to show.
08:24Don't make fun of this thing, Ann.
08:25Just saying.
08:26The jiggler-wiggler.
08:28Jiggler-wiggler.
08:29All right, that's enough.
08:30Only I can make fun of my gut.
08:32Alex is a really great guy.
08:33I really don't know where the disconnect is.
08:35He's very social and outgoing.
08:37You're already in front of my bald spot.
08:38Is that enough?
08:39Sorry, Alex.
08:40I don't know why he's still a virgin.
08:43He's built it up so much in his head that at this point, he just needs to get laid.
08:46I mean, honestly.
08:47Just do it, Alex.
08:48Yeah.
08:48Get it over with.
08:49When was the last time you even, like, had a real date?
08:53Oh.
08:54Like, 10, 12 years ago?
08:57Whoa, really?
08:59Yeah.
08:59Dang, Alex.
09:01Step out of your comfort zone a little bit.
09:02Because I feel like you put yourself in a bubble as to what you look for.
09:05Oh, I mean, I hear your voice.
09:07And sometimes we're right.
09:08But you know what?
09:09Until then, sticking to my goofy little self.
09:13Being a virgin at 34 isn't what I expected.
09:18This is not normal.
09:20I definitely don't want to be a virgin anymore.
09:23I can't wait to have sex.
09:26Oh, snap.
09:28I want that intimacy.
09:32I'm ready for it.
09:35Oh, that was a swoosh.
09:58My name is Rasha, and I'm 42 years old, and I live in Jacksonville, Florida.
10:03Let's go.
10:05Yay.
10:05Hey, guys, and welcome back to my channel.
10:12I do skincare, vlogs, lifestyle.
10:15I love to create videos for my social media.
10:18I love to sing karaoke, and I like to laugh.
10:23So today, I am going to talk a little bit about my sexual life.
10:29And I am a 42-year-old virgin.
10:30Yes, you heard that right.
10:424-2-42.
10:44And Big Purr has never seen any action, and we got to fix that.
10:48I refer to my private part as Big Purr.
10:52I just don't feel comfortable saying, like, the P word.
10:56I am wanting to lose my virginity to someone special, and I'm trying to find that person.
11:12I am kind of awkward because I don't know what I am doing, but I do not want to be in my 80s and not having been cracked open.
11:24I have so much stuff I want to experience.
11:28I've never did a tongue-down kiss, like, blah, blah, blah.
11:33Okay, I've never had a man touch me down there or anywhere like that.
11:40I think I need someone to, like, figure out my brain and what is blocking me from experiencing the things that I want to experience.
11:49And it's going to be a fiasco.
11:51But I'm confident in myself because why?
11:54I'm Rasha.
11:55I'm going to need all the help I can get to find my person.
12:01Without the help of someone, I probably would not experience meeting someone and having sex.
12:08And I need that in the grossest of ways.
12:14A part of sex therapy is fantasy.
12:19I'm going to take you through an imagery exercise.
12:22Okay.
12:22All I'm going to do is have you to close your eyes.
12:24Okay.
12:25Right?
12:25And I want you to tell me the deepest fantasy that you have.
12:30Can you do that?
12:31I can try.
12:33It's so embarrassing.
12:34Okay.
12:34All right.
12:35No need to be embarrassed.
12:36It's just us.
12:37I am in a bedroom with white sheets.
12:44Mm-hmm.
12:44And it's like I'm tied with my hands behind my back.
12:47Mm-hmm.
12:48I have, like, a blindfold on.
12:51And, like, he's killing it from the back.
12:53Mm-hmm.
12:53And he's like, I don't mind.
12:54What are you doing?
12:57I am taking it, honey.
12:58Like a champ.
12:59Like a champ.
13:00Let me tell you something.
13:01Yeah.
13:02Taking it.
13:02Yeah.
13:03Then he's going down.
13:04Mm-hmm.
13:05I mean, I guess he's hungry.
13:07Oh.
13:08Oh, so he eating.
13:10You know what I'm saying?
13:10Real good.
13:11He getting full.
13:12Real good.
13:12Okay.
13:13I mean, because I think I'm, like, a submissive person.
13:16Mm-hmm.
13:16So I need my person to be dominant.
13:19Mm-hmm.
13:19And, like, manhandle me.
13:22I need to get tied up.
13:25I need to get spanked.
13:27It's steamy.
13:28It's stank.
13:29Sorry, Mom.
13:38It's very interesting to not have had a sexual experience, but then consider yourself to be
13:45nasty, to want to be a submissive.
13:47Where do you think that comes from?
13:50I've watched a lot of porn.
13:53And when I explore myself, I imagine those things happening.
13:57It enables you to have an orgasm?
13:59Yes.
13:59So you're ready to have sex?
14:01I am.
14:04Roger, what are you saying?
14:08I do want to have sex, but I just don't want to give it up to someone that's random on the
14:12street.
14:13I do not.
14:13I do not.
14:15Are you interested in dating?
14:16I am.
14:18I'm interested in dating, but I've never been on a real date before.
14:22You've not even had any casual dating?
14:25No.
14:26Hmm.
14:28I actually am a late bloomer.
14:31I wasn't attracted to guys or seen them sexually until I was, like, in my mid-20s.
14:35I think it was, you know, just being overweight and not having confidence in myself.
14:41I've always been a big girl.
14:43Being overweight definitely affected me meeting men because I don't think, I didn't think that
14:52I was attractive to men.
14:54So I didn't get approached by guys.
14:59Like, I have so much love to give, and, like, I'm such a nurturing person.
15:04But I don't know if I want to get married because I was before.
15:08And that was a debacle.
15:11Okay.
15:17Yes, I was married previously for 10 months.
15:21There was no sexual relationship in the marriage?
15:25No.
15:26Mm.
15:26I am a divorced virgin, and that is the truth.
15:31That's wild.
15:32That is wild.
15:34He was an international student from South Korea, but he was living in Minnesota at the
15:40time.
15:40We met on a dating app online, and we matched.
15:44We were in touch for about four to five years, just texting and messaging.
15:49But he was so sweet and made me laugh.
15:54So when he told me that he didn't want to go back to his home country, I didn't want him
15:59to either.
16:00So I wanted to help him because I thought I was in love with him.
16:06And I believed that maybe he could love me too.
16:09So that's when he moved down here, and we got married.
16:15Did you guys ever live together, share a home together?
16:18Yes.
16:18Okay.
16:19He didn't even want to be in the same room with me.
16:21We didn't even share a bedroom together.
16:23He slept in the living room, and I slept in the room.
16:26He couldn't even look at me half the time.
16:29So that's how I knew he wasn't really interested, and he had different motives.
16:33He was looking for a green card.
16:35Okay.
16:36That marriage was not ever consummated, ever.
16:40I mean, I wore like something, showed a little something.
16:44He just looked at me with so much disgust.
16:46And I was just like, maybe I'm just fat and ugly, and that just made me feel even more
16:54bad.
16:55Girl, that was a lot.
17:04That was a lot.
17:05I was to a point where I was like, he is not going to be up in here on my dime, like up
17:14in here and not treat me how I'm supposed to be treated.
17:16Then we got a divorce 10 months later, and that was it.
17:19But it was an awful experience.
17:22Yeah.
17:22If I am going to actually have sex, like I want it to be a mutual thing, you know, and
17:28I was just like, I'm so terrified of just being used.
17:31That's the only thing that's holding me back.
17:33Like, I just want to make sure that that person is the right person that deserves me.
17:37I want to be with someone that I feel safe with to unleash the whore in me.
17:48That's what I want to find.
17:51I don't want to just be a number to somebody.
17:53You know, I just want to be like a whore to one.
17:56I love that.
17:57I absolutely love that.
17:59What a goal to have.
18:00I consider any sort of physical intimacy, even a kiss, very special and secret.
18:08I actually fall in love with just one kiss.
18:11Wow.
18:12You can imagine what would happen to me beyond that.
18:16I was wondering if I could get your number.
18:19I'm just going to give out my number.
18:21I want to be having sex with someone that I want to be having sex with.
18:25There was no swagger.
18:26There was no charm.
18:27Not just someone to fill in the spot.
18:29I'm not going to force an attraction that's not there.
18:44My name is Sonali Chandra.
18:46I am 37 years young and I'm a virgin.
18:52I believe I'm still a virgin.
18:54Number one, because I can't just do it with any guy.
18:57I consider sex or making love very special and sacred.
19:05The majority of men think of sex like having coffee.
19:11I'm not assuming all men are like this.
19:13I'm speaking generally.
19:1599% of the men out there.
19:17I absolutely do not want an STD, a UTI.
19:24I mean, it's scary.
19:25It really is.
19:27Oh, sorry.
19:29Hence, I'm very guarded.
19:31Hello there.
19:41Hello, pretty girl.
19:44How are you?
19:44I'm great.
19:45How are you?
19:45Lovely to see you.
19:46Don't you look pretty?
19:47I try.
19:48And we both like Italian food.
19:49What a coinkydink.
19:51Indeed, yes.
19:52I met John at a party over the summer.
19:56Do you have any cocktail drinks here?
19:58Uh, yes.
19:59Can you guys make a sex on the beach?
20:01Sex on the beach?
20:03I'm not as forward.
20:04I think we should have dinner first.
20:06Okay.
20:07Yeah, I'll stick with water.
20:08Thank you very much.
20:09Appreciate that.
20:11I know for a fact that he does make me laugh,
20:13so I'm optimistic.
20:15But John does not know that I am still a virgin,
20:18and so I can't promise anything.
20:19Not at this point.
20:22So your family is out here also, or?
20:25Uh, so my parents are in India.
20:27Okay.
20:27They're retired.
20:28So I was born and raised in America.
20:29My parents are from India, so I'm Indian-American.
20:31Okay.
20:32Even though I was born and raised in America,
20:35I was raised as if I was in India.
20:39It was a very strict, traditional household.
20:41My father was the disciplinarian,
20:44the patriarch of my family,
20:46and he instilled in me very traditional Indian values.
20:51What that meant was no dating, no socializing,
20:55no sleepovers, no prom,
20:58because he did not want me doing hanky-panky with boys.
21:01It wasn't until I was a senior in college,
21:05my friend Yana shared that her boyfriend sleeps over,
21:09and that's when it hit me that people have sex
21:11before marriage.
21:14I have never watched porn or erotica.
21:18I've never even tried to masturbate.
21:20I wouldn't even know where to begin.
21:22I've never had an orgasm.
21:24At least I don't think so.
21:26I'm a prude.
21:31Okay, so this is kind of a cultural question.
21:33Sure.
21:33Did your parents ever try to ask you
21:35if you would be part of an arranged marriage?
21:39Affirmative.
21:40Really?
21:41They didn't ask me.
21:42They tried forcing me.
21:43Really?
21:44And I said,
21:45you never let me date growing up.
21:47You didn't let me dorm in college,
21:48and now you...
21:49You never dated during college.
21:50Wow.
21:51And now you want me to get married to a stranger?
21:55Wow.
21:55So, what's your dating life like now?
22:00I found dating to be very challenging.
22:02Challenging.
22:03How so?
22:06I, uh...
22:07I'm still a virgin.
22:09Sonali dropped a nuclear bomb on me.
22:22I've never had sex with a virgin before.
22:25As crazy as this sounds,
22:26I'm not exactly sure if I'd...
22:27I'd want to have sex with a virgin.
22:30That has to be, like,
22:32to some people, like, a real stigma.
22:34Yes?
22:35All guys want sex, right,
22:36at the end of the day,
22:37which, by the way...
22:37I am quite a fan, I must admit.
22:39And I just want to make clear,
22:40at this point in life,
22:41I don't like the word sex.
22:43I don't call it that.
22:44I call it making love.
22:46Okay.
22:47I want to be clear about that.
22:49Fair enough.
22:50I consider any sort of physical intimacy,
22:53even a kiss,
22:54very special and sacred.
22:56I actually fall in love
22:57with just one kiss.
23:00So, you can imagine
23:02what would happen to me beyond that.
23:05I was 26 years young
23:08when I had my first kiss.
23:11I've only let six men kiss me,
23:13and yes,
23:14each and every time,
23:15I did fall in love.
23:19That looks fantastic.
23:20My last relationship,
23:22he was the first man
23:23with whom anything physical
23:26beyond a first kiss
23:27happened.
23:28He was significantly older than me,
23:3229 years to be exact.
23:34But with him,
23:35I experienced second
23:36and third base
23:37for the first time.
23:39Second base is kissing
23:40and touching above the waist.
23:42Third base meaning
23:43touching below the waist.
23:46It felt absolutely amazing.
23:48However,
23:48he then ghosted me,
23:50and I believe it's because
23:51I did not let him go
23:52all the way.
24:02Can I please have that
24:02wrapped up
24:03and the check, please?
24:06This is where
24:07every date ultimately leads.
24:09I tell the guy
24:10I am still a virgin
24:11and he is no longer
24:13interested in me.
24:18But I don't know
24:19if that will ever change
24:20because physically speaking,
24:22I'm not sure
24:22I can even have sex.
24:30From the paper
24:31you filled out,
24:32it looks like
24:32you've never been able
24:33to insert a tampon.
24:34Is that correct?
24:35I've never tried.
24:36And you've never tried.
24:37To this day,
24:38I have not inserted anything
24:40in my vagina.
24:41I'm looking for my cowboy.
24:47I'm looking for my cowboy.
24:49Oh, you know I'm looking
24:51for my cowboy.
24:53Yeah, I'm looking
24:54for my cowboy.
24:56My name is Deanne.
24:58I'm 35 years old
24:58and I live in Los Angeles, California.
25:01I'm originally from Connecticut.
25:03I work at event marketing,
25:05so concerts,
25:06football games, conventions.
25:08I like going to new restaurants
25:09with my friends.
25:10I like adventure
25:11and I like new things.
25:13Oh my God!
25:16Mercedes and Jamie
25:17are my ride or dies.
25:18They are my best friends
25:19in L.A.
25:19They are everything
25:21to me out here.
25:22We go experience
25:23things together
25:24and it's always together.
25:25Do you want to ride the bull?
25:26Yes!
25:27Go, Dan!
25:29Woo!
25:29I've figured out
25:30every part of my life.
25:31I love L.A.
25:32I love what I do for work.
25:34I have amazing friends.
25:36It's all in the hips!
25:37Don't let me knock
25:38your socks off!
25:39Woo!
25:39The only part of my life
25:41that I cannot figure out
25:42is having sex.
25:44I'm 35 years old
25:46and I have no sexual
25:47experience whatsoever.
25:51Woo!
25:54Woo!
25:55Woo!
25:55Woo!
26:00Woo!
26:00This place is fun!
26:02You're pretty awesome.
26:03You're pretty awesome.
26:04You're in the same place, you're in the same place.
26:06Well, your homework tonight is to talk to a boy.
26:11My closest sexual experience was 17 years ago,
26:17and it's never happened since.
26:18We started, it didn't fully, you know,
26:22it's just, I hate this topic.
26:26I really wish that I just started having sex in college,
26:30started having sex in high school,
26:32so that way, when I was learning to do all of these things,
26:36it was a normal, I've never done this before conversation.
26:40I think we need a drink.
26:43A shot.
26:44A shot.
26:45Whereas I've never done this before,
26:47conversations at 35 are extremely abnormal
26:51and they're like, what the ?
26:52To find a new man.
26:55I do feel as though it's weird.
26:56I do feel as though people are going to judge me.
26:59The fact that I don't have sex,
27:01I don't hook up with people.
27:02I've never had a boyfriend.
27:03Like, that is abnormal.
27:05Like, why have I gone my whole life
27:07without being in a relationship?
27:08I don't know the technical side of everything.
27:10I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
27:12I don't know what you're supposed to be doing first
27:14or last or any of it.
27:15Have you ever experienced a multiple orgasm?
27:19No.
27:21I already knew the answer, pretty much.
27:22Duh.
27:23Have you ever experimented with BDSM?
27:27What is BDSM?
27:29Fifty Shades of Grey.
27:30Yeah.
27:31Oh, my God.
27:34I didn't like that game.
27:35We're just getting you ready.
27:36Yeah.
27:37For the real world.
27:38I know I need to go beyond what I normally do
27:41and try something different because...
27:43Yeah, try something at all.
27:49If I'm brutally honest with myself,
27:50the reason why I have no sexual experience
27:53is because I'm too picky.
27:55I have this idea of a Prince Charming
27:57from, like, Hallmark movies.
27:59And I think that's hindered me throughout life
28:01because I'm looking for Mr. Perfect
28:03and Mr. Perfect doesn't exist.
28:05Maybe not.
28:06Hey, guys.
28:07How are you guys?
28:08I'm Ben.
28:08I don't know where we are.
28:09I know, right?
28:10When I saw you guys talking,
28:11I was like, well, why not?
28:13What brings you guys out?
28:14You know, we just like to,
28:16every once in a while,
28:17do a night out with the girls.
28:21Well, I'll let you guys get back to your drink,
28:23but I was wondering if I can get your number.
28:26I can't really give out my number.
28:27It's hard to believe that DeAnne has little to no
28:31sexual experience because she's gorgeous
28:33and guys are always interested in her everywhere we go.
28:37She's a catch, but she's never had a boyfriend.
28:40She's never gone on dates.
28:41She's waiting for that, like, initial chemistry,
28:44spark, fireworks show, where you just feel it
28:47right off the bat.
28:48I don't know that she will ever get past that.
28:51And maybe she's just got to, like, just go with it.
28:55Sometimes there's not going to be a need for her.
28:57She's just going to be an idiot, higher one.
28:59Yeah.
29:00There was no sweater.
29:01There was no charm.
29:01There was, it was, it was, I understand that.
29:03You need to push three girls at a table.
29:04I understand that, but I'm not going to force
29:08an attraction that's not there.
29:10I agree that you can't force an attraction,
29:12but I also think that things can grow.
29:16I agree with that, but they're happy.
29:17How y'all doing?
29:18Hi.
29:19Ryan, nice to meet you.
29:20Nice to meet you.
29:21Nice to meet you.
29:22Nice to meet you.
29:24I want to be having sex with someone
29:26that I want to be having sex with.
29:29Not just someone to fill in the spot.
29:31But also, I'm so upset that it's never happened.
29:36He was a 20.
29:38He's just not my type, he's not for me.
29:43It makes me feel like the rest of the world can do it
29:45and I can't.
29:46Like, oh god, I'm getting emotional.
29:48How is that happening?
29:50I need to shift my life because I'm
29:54gonna end up alone forever.
30:08So this picture here is of a man kissing his lady
30:12on the forehead.
30:13For me, it represents love and trust.
30:16He is in her corner.
30:18He cares about her and he's gonna be there for her.
30:21And so I really resonate with this.
30:25I would want that for myself too, one day soon.
30:28I'm a hopeless romantic.
30:32I really never imagined that at 37 years young,
30:36I would still be a virgin.
30:38I created my vision board a few years ago
30:41to articulate what I want in my man.
30:46I believe in the power of a manifestation.
30:48I gotta see it to believe it.
30:51He should be compassionate, he should be funny,
30:53he should make me laugh, but not too much of a joker.
30:56He should definitely be smart and ambitious.
30:59He should not be intimidated by my type A personality.
31:03Oh, my celebrity crushes, Chris Hemsworth, Nick Jonas,
31:06Robert Redford, Henry Golding.
31:08Half of them have foreign accents,
31:10so maybe that's a thing for me.
31:12Oh, God.
31:13He doesn't necessarily have to be super duper fit,
31:15but healthy.
31:17If you have a belly, boy, I don't even wanna see you.
31:20Oh, he has to be over 5'8",
31:21because I'm 5'8", without any heels.
31:23I would want him to be a sharp dresser.
31:25This guy makes my heart melt.
31:27Tattoos are okay, but not too many.
31:29Deal breakers, extreme profanity.
31:32Bad breath, snoring, no thank you.
31:34I do not want a man with two left feet, no.
31:36Oh, facial hair.
31:38Having to kiss a guy with facial hair
31:40is like kissing a goat.
31:41I think it's disgusting.
31:43I go waxing and threading, why can't my man?
31:46No Casanovas, no mixed messages.
31:48I don't want any games.
31:49I would say in the past year,
31:50I've actually realized I'm a demisexual.
31:53That means I need an intellectual and emotional connection
31:55with a man before I can let anything physical happen.
31:58So I have strict standards,
32:00but it's just being efficient
32:02and not wasting time or effort.
32:04On my date with Jonathan,
32:06I realized he's very close-minded and impatient.
32:10And he learned that I'm still a virgin.
32:13I want a man who's open-minded and understanding,
32:16because I believe that maybe first time love-making,
32:21sexual intercourse,
32:22I don't even know if it's even possible for me.
32:26I'm still a virgin at 37,
32:29not just because I haven't met the right guy yet,
32:32but also because I do believe
32:34there's also a physical barrier.
32:37To this day, I have not inserted anything in my vagina.
32:44I've never worn a tampon at my OB-GYN's office.
32:48Just as preventative measure, she tried to do a pap smear,
32:51and I squealed in pain.
32:53There really feels like there's something blocking the opening to my vagina.
32:57I don't think what I'm experiencing is normal.
33:01So I did some research online and I found a pelvic floor therapist.
33:07I made an appointment with her to hopefully get some answers from a professional.
33:12Just like every other human out there, I want companionship and love.
33:17I'm absolutely fearful.
33:20I may never be able to have intercourse.
33:23And that's really what I crave the most.
33:26This is a very serious matter for me.
33:29I may just diverge in and be alone for the rest of my life.
33:37There's some potential right there. Possibly.
33:40I haven't had much luck in the past approaching women.
33:43What brings you guys here tonight?
33:45Hanging out.
33:46I had another question for you, but I can remember what it was.
33:51Yeah.
33:59Let's look at the fit. Let's look at the fit.
34:05I hope it looks good.
34:06I think it'll look pretty dang good.
34:08Yeah. Yeah. All right.
34:09I guess I'll give it to you.
34:11I really hope, like, you know, more people show up tonight,
34:13because it'd be nice for you to maybe meet somebody.
34:17Well, I have one pick up one, and hopefully it works.
34:19Can you share it with us so we can tell you if it's going back into our minute?
34:22We can tell you.
34:23It's a great fit.
34:23Let's hear it. Let's hear it.
34:26Okay.
34:26Because I'm sure it's not.
34:27What is it?
34:27Let's hear it.
34:29Excuse me.
34:30I think you're pretty cute.
34:31How about if you can agree to go sit down with me and we'll talk,
34:37how about I buy you a water?
34:46And then she'll start laughing.
34:47What?
34:48And then she'll start laughing.
34:49I get it because you don't have to buy water.
34:50I get it.
34:50Yeah, I know.
34:51Me too.
34:51Yeah, yeah.
34:52Not even funny, Alex.
34:53Yes.
34:53I'm sorry.
34:54No, it's not even funny.
34:55That's perfect.
34:55That is not funny.
34:56That's perfect.
34:56That is not a pick up line.
34:57Well, then I'll just ask them if they want a drink.
34:59Alex's game is lacking.
35:01I think that he could use some guidance.
35:03How to carry on a conversation and how to continue a conversation I think would be his,
35:08a good option for him.
35:10There's some potential right there.
35:14Possibly.
35:16I just walked in.
35:16I kind of find at least two out of three of them attractive.
35:22Okay.
35:22So I don't know which one to go for.
35:23And if that fails, then I'm like, okay.
35:25But you could just say, hey, how are you guys?
35:27Yeah, and feel it out to see which one you actually connect with.
35:29And then find the one that you connect with the drink.
35:31All right.
35:33All right.
35:34I haven't had much luck in the past approaching women to try and talk to them.
35:39It's just very overwhelming, and I'm not sure what to do.
35:42The middle's cute.
35:45The middle's cute.
35:46We'll critique you from here.
35:48We'll tell you how you do, okay?
35:49We got you.
35:50We got you.
35:50We got you, buddy.
35:51We got you.
35:51How are you guys doing?
35:54Hi.
35:55What's going on?
35:55Nothing much.
35:56How are you?
35:57I'm doing okay.
35:58Had a long day today.
35:59I feel that.
36:01I feel that.
36:02And it's only Thursday.
36:04Well, I mean, it's Friday's tomorrow.
36:06That's true.
36:06It's the weekend.
36:07It's basically the weekend if you don't count tomorrow, but.
36:10That's true.
36:11What's your name?
36:12I'm Haley.
36:13Haley?
36:13Alex, nice to meet you.
36:14I'm Stacy.
36:15Stacy?
36:15Nice to meet you.
36:16Yes, nice to meet you.
36:17Courtney.
36:18What brings you guys here, huh?
36:19Just hanging out.
36:20Yeah, living the dream.
36:24My mind kind of goes blank, and I automatically think game over, you know, and just, it just
36:35gets worse from there.
36:38All right.
36:38Well, whatever you guys want, next round's on me.
36:40Okay.
36:41Thanks.
36:42No problem.
36:43It was nice talking to you guys.
36:44You too.
36:44It's nice talking to you.
36:45Yeah.
36:48How'd it go?
36:50There are three of them hanging by, like hanging with each other.
36:52Like, if it was.
36:53So?
36:53I don't know.
36:54It's weird.
36:55I'm a prunetto man.
36:57You know, I think she's kind of cute.
36:59But like, how do I just, how do I just talk to her without, without the other two being awkward?
37:03Be your normal self, Alex.
37:04Just be yourself.
37:05You can do that.
37:06Okay.
37:06All right.
37:07All right.
37:08All right.
37:08All right.
37:08You got this, Alex.
37:09You got this.
37:09Good luck.
37:11Pam, may I have another one, please?
37:12Yeah.
37:13Same thing.
37:14Yes, please.
37:15Oh, did, um, did you, they, I got them a drink.
37:18All right.
37:19So I don't know if you, if you got them theirs yet?
37:21No problem.
37:22Ugh.
37:22How's it going?
37:33Oh, hi.
37:33Are you scared me?
37:35You scared me.
37:36I'm sorry.
37:36I thought you saw me come this way.
37:37No.
37:38What's up?
37:39No, I just came down and see what's going on.
37:43Um, what do you like to do when, uh, spare time?
37:47Um, I like to travel.
37:49Nice.
37:53Yeah.
37:56I can see Alex right now and the wheels are just turning in his head.
37:59I can see that he's trying to think about what to say.
38:01And I feel like he just needs to relax a bit.
38:03That's it.
38:04Just relax.
38:12This is always where I get stuck.
38:15I'm an overthinker.
38:17I kind of overthink what she's thinking, which kind of messes me up,
38:21because then I overthink.
38:23I had another question for you, but I couldn't remember what it was.
38:26It'd probably be a good idea to at least try getting her number,
38:29but I just ended up talking myself out of it.
38:33It sucks.
38:43I've got to get it out of my head or I'm never going to get laid.
38:45like, um, wait now.
38:55Take a deep breath in and exhale.
38:58Oh, oh, oh.
38:59If fingers are this intense, I can't imagine what pain I would experience with a man.
39:05From here.
39:06Oh, oh, oh.
39:16Hi, how are you?
39:17I'm great.
39:18My name is Sonali.
39:19For Heather, right?
39:20Yes, Dr. Heather.
39:21Oh, I know you're here, okay?
39:26I am meeting with a pelvic floor therapist today.
39:29And I'm really scared.
39:35I'm scared that it'll hurt.
39:38But unless I know what's going on down there, I can't do anything about it.
39:42Hi, Sonali, I'm Dr. Heather.
39:48Oh, hi.
39:49Pleased to meet you.
39:50Nice to meet you, too.
39:51Come this way.
39:52Sure.
39:54My name is Dr. Heather Jeffcoat.
39:56I'm a pelvic health and orthopedic physical therapist.
39:59I specialize in treating women, men, and all genders with sexual dysfunctions.
40:07We're going to talk about your history.
40:10And I'm also going to do a pelvic floor exam.
40:12And we'll talk about everything we do before we do it.
40:15Sounds good.
40:16From the paper you filled out ahead of time,
40:18I see it looks like you've never been able to insert a tampon.
40:21Is that correct?
40:22I've never tried.
40:23And you've never tried.
40:24Okay, okay.
40:26I grew up in a very strict Indian household.
40:28I never tried to get one, buy one.
40:30Okay.
40:31I've never been able to get a pap smear done.
40:33My OBGYN tried to, but I screamed in pain.
40:37Okay.
40:40So you've never attempted intercourse, is that correct?
40:45Correct.
40:47Okay.
40:48It's fear, really.
40:52I just wanted to put that out there.
40:53No, and that's, and thank you so much for sharing.
40:56The fact that Sonali can't put a tampon in,
40:59the first thing that comes to mind is it's the fear around doing an activity.
41:04The fear of putting in a tampon.
41:07The fear of possibly being intimate or having penetrative intercourse.
41:12I don't ever think that it's a purely psychological reason for their pain.
41:17But when we're doing the physical exam, I'm going to want to rule that out.
41:22I'll give you a minute.
41:23I'll knock before I come back in.
41:24I'll be right back.
41:31I'm glad I came here.
41:33Dr. Heather's very nice and compassionate.
41:36I am nervous about everything.
41:38I'm nervous about what the doctor's going to do, what she's going to find, what she's going to tell me.
41:44And I'm also worried about the pain that I may experience.
41:47So we're going to begin, and we're going to go very slow step by step, okay?
41:55And gently.
41:56And very gently, 100% gently.
42:00Okay.
42:02So I'm just going to spread the outer lips of the vulva.
42:06Now what I'm going to do is just place the glove at the opening, okay?
42:11Not doing anything internal yet.
42:14Take a deep breath in, and I'm just going to place it there as you exhale.
42:18Okay, just here.
42:20And is there any pain or discomfort?
42:22If I had pain, you'd hear me.
42:24Yes, yeah.
42:25So the next step will be looking at the muscles that are just barely on the other side of where I am.
42:32So take a deep breath in.
42:36And exhale.
42:37So was that pain or fear or all of the above?
42:46Shock.
42:46Shock.
42:47If fingers are this intense, I can't imagine what pain I would experience with a man.
42:58Now, Sonali, we're going to go from right to left, okay?
43:01Okay.
43:02All right.
43:03Deep breath in.
43:04I'm going to move on the exhale over to the left side.
43:08Ooh.
43:09Okay, so is that pain or just feel more weird or all of the above?
43:12Weird empty, yeah.
43:13Okay, okay.
43:15I think I have enough information.
43:17So would you like to stop?
43:19Yes.
43:20All right, I'm going to remove the glove.
43:23So why don't you get dressed?
43:24We're going to talk about what we can do going forward from here.
43:27Yes.
43:29I'm glad I came here.
43:30Surprised I'm able to even get this far.
43:32But I'm downright afraid and fearful that Dr. Heather is going to say to me,
43:40I have some sort of physical ailment that will prevent me from having sexual intercourse.
43:44Sonali, are you ready?
43:53Come in.
43:53I'm nervous.
43:55I have all of my goodies here, except we're going to talk about.
43:59Oh, boy.
43:59So, Sonali, can I show you what a medical dilator is?
44:04What in the world does she want me to do with this?
44:11What is she about to tell me?
44:16What is this?
44:17It's Tondra speed dating.
44:19What?
44:20Next time on Virgins.
44:22Embrace.
44:23To just start touching women right away, especially being a virgin.
44:27Is it good?
44:28No, it's good.
44:29All right.
44:30I seriously can't believe I'm doing this.
44:32Can I unbutton you a little?
44:33Go ahead.
44:34My heart's beating fast.
44:37I want you to be open to somebody.
44:41Average?
44:42A little bit.
44:42Let's not use the word average.
44:44She needs to get over the pretty boy syndrome and get back to reality.
44:48I'm trying to help you.
44:50I'm so sick of everybody being like, well, what about that guy?
44:53Well, what about that guy?
44:55I want sex in my life.
44:56Hello.
44:57I just need that sexual attraction.
45:01Insert into your vaginal opening.
45:05Oh, boy.
45:06The purpose of dilators is to stretch out my pelvic floor muscles.
45:12I'm a little scared.
45:14I cannot believe I am doing this on camera.
45:17I am driving to meet Mr. Zach.
45:25Meeting the right person does open me up to have a sexual encounter.
45:30Well, my situation is I am still a virgin.
45:34What if he walks away?