Good Girls Gone Wild #Shortfilm

LIAM.VD

Good Girls Gone Wild #Shortfilm    #EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull

Transcript

00:00:00www.microsoft.com

00:00:30Oh, my God.

00:00:35Hello?

00:00:36Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.

00:00:39I mean, it's only two days away,

00:00:40and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.

00:00:43So I was thinking maybe we could all take a trip to...

00:00:47Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.

00:00:52I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.

00:00:55I'm going to lose my virginity to him.

00:00:57You know, I want to surprise him.

00:00:59What?

00:01:00But you can't.

00:01:01I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.

00:01:04Besides, you can't do that to us.

00:01:06You can't break tradition that way.

00:01:09This is bad.

00:01:10You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.

00:01:12She's going to be very unhappy about this.

00:01:21Come on, Lexi.

00:01:22So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?

00:01:37I'm going to do for our birthday.

00:01:39I know.

00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.

00:01:42But this is the big one eight.

00:01:44I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.

00:01:48But this has to be newer and more special.

00:01:52So what's something we've never done before?

00:01:54Mushrooms?

00:01:55No, not like that.

00:01:57Like something nice.

00:01:58Like maybe a trip.

00:01:59Like a mushroom trip?

00:02:00No.

00:02:01Sorry, Sue.

00:02:02I have a date.

00:02:03So do I.

00:02:04Sorry, Sue.

00:02:05Don't worry, Sue.

00:02:07We'll figure it out.

00:02:09Oh, flowers, are these from you?

00:02:11Yeah, sure.

00:02:12Here you go.

00:02:13No card, but I thought I saw one.

00:02:16I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.

00:02:18I don't know how to put my feelings into words.

00:02:22I don't know.

00:02:23But I don't know how to put my feelings into words.

00:02:28Well, I can't do it.

00:02:31I can't do it.

00:02:33I can't do it.

00:02:34I can't do it.

00:02:35I guess, um, you still make me nervous.

00:02:41Oh, Jake.

00:02:46Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.

00:02:49Uh, no, Jake, not yet.

00:02:50When we do it, I want it to be really special.

00:02:53The best night of my life.

00:02:54It will be, I promise.

00:02:57It'll always be amazing, with you and me, together.

00:03:05Jake, no, I have to go.

00:03:10I have to work on my art project.

00:03:12You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,

00:03:15but I guess I should have taken more math.

00:03:19Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?

00:03:21This Saturday?

00:03:22Of course.

00:03:27Thanks.

00:03:29Okay, bye.

00:03:35Oh, baby, you're so hot.

00:03:43I'm going to do you so good.

00:03:45Oh, yeah, baby.

00:03:46What was your name again?

00:03:47Rah.

00:03:48Sex God.

00:03:54Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.

00:03:58Yeah, right, I bet.

00:03:59Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?

00:04:09Oh, no.

00:04:10Does not compute.

00:04:12Want to talk in person ASAP.

00:04:17Oh, huh.

00:04:18Hi.

00:04:21When did you get home?

00:04:22So, is it true?

00:04:23Yes, it is.

00:04:25It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.

00:04:29I mean, he's handsome, and smart, and wealthy,

00:04:34and he has a really bright future ahead of him.

00:04:36So, I just think it's the right time.

00:04:39Lexi, tell her.

00:04:40Losing our virginity is one of those milestones

00:04:42we should all face together.

00:04:44On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.

00:04:46Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,

00:04:48or maybe even, like, our 29th.

00:04:51Eight.

00:04:52Maybe.

00:04:53Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:05:01I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:05:10But Cheryl, Sue is right.

00:05:12We do always do something special on our birthday.

00:05:14But, oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?

00:05:20It's not Jake.

00:05:21It's the male ideal.

00:05:23Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.

00:05:27Right.

00:05:29Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:05:31I mean, it kind of sucks.

00:05:32I'm not really an artist.

00:05:33Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?

00:05:36The point is, we should all lose our virginities together

00:05:38on the same day.

00:05:39And I'm just not ready yet.

00:05:41I'm waiting for a sign.

00:05:43And then I'll know it's right.

00:05:44Look, I can go either way.

00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.

00:05:51I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.

00:05:54Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.

00:05:58But if you want to do it this year,

00:06:00then maybe we all should.

00:06:03You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.

00:06:09Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?

00:06:12To church, to pray for you.

00:06:14I want to be first in line.

00:06:17I'm getting this.

00:06:18Yeah, me too.

00:06:28Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

00:06:30It has been four days since my last confession.

00:06:32I accused myself of the following sins.

00:06:34Mm-hmm.

00:06:35Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,

00:06:39but it's about sex.

00:06:42Mm-hmm.

00:06:45I mean, not me.

00:06:46I've never gone past second base with a guy.

00:06:48Mm-hmm.

00:06:50I've never even seen a guy's...

00:06:52Well, there was that one time

00:06:53I took the pants off my Ken doll.

00:06:55But I was dressing him up as Jesus,

00:06:57and I wanted to see his thing.

00:06:59But there was nothing there.

00:07:00Okay, so it's about my friends.

00:07:05My best friends.

00:07:07They're going to do something really bad this weekend.

00:07:09Okay.

00:07:11Third base.

00:07:12What?

00:07:13No.

00:07:14Like, sex.

00:07:15Like, intercourse?

00:07:17With boys, they barely even know.

00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention,

00:07:20if you know what I mean.

00:07:22All the way.

00:07:23Go all the way.

00:07:25Woody?

00:07:26What?

00:07:26How could you do this?

00:07:32You're a bad, bad person.

00:07:36What?

00:07:42Yes.

00:07:43Yes.

00:07:45Run.

00:07:46Home route.

00:07:49Damn it.

00:07:51Fucking Yankees.

00:07:54Sorry.

00:07:56Sue, it is 1 p.m.

00:08:19What do you have a little consideration?

00:08:21I'm trying to sleep.

00:08:24Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?

00:08:25I have an announcement to make.

00:08:29I want to do it.

00:08:31Do you hear me?

00:08:32I want to do it.

00:08:34This weekend.

00:08:35On our birthday.

00:08:37Do what?

00:08:39It.

00:08:40Screw.

00:08:41You know, screwing, boning,

00:08:43making the beast with two backs.

00:08:44You know, shagging.

00:08:46Fucking.

00:08:49You do.

00:08:49But what about all your religious stuff?

00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?

00:08:55Oh, I got a sign at church.

00:08:57Really?

00:08:59Well, okay, great.

00:09:02We're all in then.

00:09:03So we'll have a big pool party,

00:09:05and we'll do it there.

00:09:07Right?

00:09:08Right.

00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.

00:09:12Hey, Frank.

00:09:22Hi, Sue.

00:09:24Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.

00:09:27I don't know.

00:09:27Do you think he'd even have fun?

00:09:29Yeah.

00:09:29He's blind.

00:09:30Blind people can do everything regular people can do.

00:09:37Wait, wait, bye.

00:09:37Hey, um, I was wondering,

00:09:41we're throwing this party tomorrow night.

00:09:44It's for our birthday.

00:09:45Do you want to come?

00:09:46Do you think he can see at me short?

00:09:59Well, the house looks done.

00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.

00:10:04We finally turn 18.

00:10:05And finally lose our virginity.

00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep,

00:10:09because the party starts tomorrow at 2.

00:10:11So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake,

00:10:14and I'll probably do that guy Rod.

00:10:16But Sue, who are you going to pick?

00:10:18To pop your chair.

00:10:19It's easy.

00:10:20I've known for the past six years,

00:10:22ever since catechism.

00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?

00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.

00:10:29Yeah.

00:10:38My soulmate.

00:10:42Chris?

00:10:43Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.

00:10:48I mean...

00:10:48What?

00:10:48No, Chris is perfect.

00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.

00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.

00:10:54It's a sign.

00:10:55Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.

00:11:01What?

00:11:02He does not.

00:11:03Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.

00:11:05He looks just like Justin Bieber,

00:11:07with a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.

00:11:11Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?

00:11:14Look, Chris is my soulmate.

00:11:16Okay, well, sweet dreams.

00:11:19See you in the morning.

00:11:20I knew it would happen someday.

00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

00:11:30I knew it would happen someday.

00:11:50You're so perfect.

00:12:20I knew that's what I look like.

00:12:35Too bad no one could ever compare to you.

00:12:54Tomorrow's the rest of the day.

00:13:24Oh, my gosh.

00:13:31They're coming.

00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.

00:13:38Ew, why?

00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.

00:13:41It's going to be really sexy.

00:13:43I'm going to start.

00:13:44You're going to die of asphyxiation.

00:13:46He's going to be really sexy.

00:13:48It's stupid.

00:13:49Just screw him.

00:13:50That's what he wants.

00:13:51That's what all guys want.

00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?

00:13:54Oh, Christ.

00:13:54Can I wrap your mouth, too?

00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,

00:14:00not someone they can just have sex with.

00:14:02You're an idiot.

00:14:03A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.

00:14:08Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.

00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.

00:14:16I love it.

00:14:19You should put that down low,

00:14:20because it's like, it's really...

00:14:21Very fragile.

00:14:22Yeah.

00:14:23Okay.

00:14:23Set it down with me.

00:14:25Hurry up.

00:14:28Those were your anal beads, right?

00:14:29Yeah.

00:14:30Okay, let's go.

00:14:30Oh, we're going to have some fun.

00:14:39Oh, we're going to have some fun.

00:14:43Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.

00:14:57Nice.

00:14:58Nice.

00:14:58Ha ha ha.

00:14:59It's gonna be...

00:14:59Oh, fuck.

00:15:03Check, check, check, check, check.

00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.

00:15:08No, Joanna, we said no gifts.

00:15:12That is lip poison to plump your lips,

00:15:15but be careful it stings.

00:15:16And the other one is edible massage oil.

00:15:20Oh, how do you know?

00:15:21I'm going to use both of these tonight.

00:15:29Bosses, what's your cutie?

00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.

00:15:33All right, sorry.

00:15:35Are you OK now?

00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

00:15:37OK, let's see you later.

00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.

00:15:43This is crazy.

00:15:44Jake!

00:15:45Hi!

00:15:46Hey, babe.

00:15:48Happy birthday.

00:15:50Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.

00:15:53What?

00:15:54You want a beer?

00:15:58No.

00:16:02Oh, hon.

00:16:03Come here.

00:16:06I have your present here.

00:16:08I'll give it to you later.

00:16:09The time's right.

00:16:11You didn't have to give me anything.

00:16:14And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.

00:16:19Hey, bro.

00:16:21We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.

00:16:23We'll bet.

00:16:24All right, this is my man right here.

00:16:29Hey.

00:16:30How you doing?

00:16:31How you doing?

00:16:32Good.

00:16:32Hey.

00:16:41Check it out!

00:16:42Dare me?

00:16:47Oh, dude, look at those.

00:16:49Are those real?

00:16:50Have you guys seen Cheryl?

00:16:51Hey!

00:16:52I do!

00:16:53Move!

00:16:54Come on!

00:16:55Lame!

00:16:56Oh, all right.

00:16:57Okay.

00:16:58I'll see you guys later.

00:16:59Go do some push-ups or something.

00:17:00Aw, the moves.

00:17:01When are you playing Cheryl?

00:17:02Hey!

00:17:03I do!

00:17:04Move!

00:17:05Come on!

00:17:06Lame!

00:17:07Oh, all right.

00:17:08Okay.

00:17:09I'll see you guys later.

00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.

00:17:11Aw, the moves.

00:17:1220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those kitties.

00:17:16Yeah!

00:17:17They're fake anyways.

00:17:19Who cares?

00:17:20Okay.

00:17:21Okay.

00:17:22Oh, dude, dude.

00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.

00:17:31Sue, no.

00:17:32It's your birthday.

00:17:33Here, let me.

00:17:34Joanna, no.

00:17:35Just go enjoy the party.

00:17:36It's not.

00:17:38Open.

00:17:41Hey.

00:17:42Do my lips look any plumper?

00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.

00:17:46Have you guys seen Jake?

00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.

00:17:49It just, like, disappeared.

00:17:50Are these real?

00:17:51Of course they are.

00:17:52How come I haven't met you before?

00:17:53I don't know.

00:17:54Maybe he's just gonna be around.

00:17:55Ryan, have you seen Jake?

00:17:56Um, I think he's around or something.

00:17:57Maybe he's upstairs.

00:17:58I don't know.

00:17:59Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.

00:18:00That's probably where he went.

00:18:01Go roll.

00:18:02Liquid courage?

00:18:03Yeah.

00:18:04Atta girl.

00:18:05Vodka cranberry?

00:18:06It's really simple.

00:18:07I don't know.

00:18:08I don't know.

00:18:09I don't know.

00:18:10Maybe he's just gonna be around.

00:18:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?

00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.

00:18:15Maybe upstairs.

00:18:16I don't know.

00:18:17Oh.

00:18:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.

00:18:20That's probably where he went.

00:18:22Go roll.

00:18:25Liquid courage?

00:18:26Yeah.

00:18:27Atta girl.

00:18:28Vodka cranberry?

00:18:29It's really simple.

00:18:30Well, I guess it's now or never.

00:18:31I can go meet her at.

00:18:32Sue?

00:18:33Are you okay?

00:18:34Sue?

00:18:35Relax.

00:18:36They're just eyes.

00:18:37Okay, nothing to be scared of.

00:18:38Seriously.

00:18:39It's gonna be fine.

00:18:40Is Chris here?

00:18:41Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:18:43I don't know.

00:18:44I don't know.

00:18:45I don't know.

00:18:46I don't know.

00:18:47I don't know.

00:18:48I don't know.

00:18:49I don't know.

00:18:50I don't know.

00:18:51I don't know.

00:18:52I don't know.

00:18:53I don't know.

00:18:54I don't know.

00:18:55I don't know.

00:18:56Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:18:58No.

00:18:59He does not have gate face.

00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.

00:19:03I'm gonna do it.

00:19:08Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:19:11No.

00:19:12He does not have gate face.

00:19:14I'm gonna prove it to you.

00:19:16I'm gonna do it.

00:19:17I'm gonna do this.

00:19:18Good luck.

00:19:21Hey, you can do this.

00:19:23Just act like a slut.

00:19:25Just pretend.

00:19:26Here, Lux.

00:19:28Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Gabor.

00:19:40Chris.

00:19:41Hi.

00:19:42Can I talk to you?

00:19:44Uh-huh.

00:19:45In private?

00:19:47Oh.

00:19:48Hey, Lexi.

00:19:49Hey, Lexi.

00:19:50Hey, Lexi.

00:19:51What?

00:19:52Chris.

00:19:53You're so sexy.

00:19:55Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.

00:20:01And I really want to...

00:20:02Oh, what are you doing?

00:20:03Is that wrong?

00:20:04Sue!

00:20:05Sue!

00:20:06Sue!

00:20:07What's gotten into you?

00:20:08Nothing.

00:20:09I'm sorry.

00:20:10I don't know how to do this.

00:20:11Sue.

00:20:12Sue.

00:20:13Sue.

00:20:14Sue.

00:20:15Sue.

00:20:16Sue.

00:20:17Sue.

00:20:18Sue.

00:20:19I understand these urges.

00:20:21And, you know, I like you too.

00:20:22Really?

00:20:23You do?

00:20:24I do.

00:20:25I really do.

00:20:26I really want to...

00:20:27Oh!

00:20:28What are you doing?

00:20:29Is that wrong?

00:20:30Sue!

00:20:31What's gotten into you?

00:20:32Nothing.

00:20:33I'm sorry.

00:20:34I don't know how to do this.

00:20:35Sue.

00:20:36Sue.

00:20:37Sue.

00:20:38Sue.

00:20:39Sue.

00:20:40You do?

00:20:41I do.

00:20:42I really do.

00:20:43I like you too.

00:20:45Really?

00:20:46You do?

00:20:47I do.

00:20:48I really do.

00:20:49It's just...

00:20:51I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.

00:20:56Right.

00:20:57Lexi said you were...

00:20:58Jesus.

00:20:59Oh.

00:21:00Batman.

00:21:01Of course.

00:21:02What did you think?

00:21:03Oh, nothing.

00:21:05So we can still do this then?

00:21:08Sue.

00:21:09You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about

00:21:19him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed

00:21:30crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty,

00:21:41under that hot, hot sun.

00:21:44I just feel such compassion.

00:21:47I think about those things too.

00:21:49So you understand why I can't do this?

00:21:53Not really.

00:21:55I just find it too hard.

00:21:56It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.

00:22:05So...

00:22:06You're gonna go out there, right?

00:22:07Andy, we're gonna tell you three months.

00:22:08Jake.

00:22:09Hey, Ty.

00:22:10Whoa!

00:22:11Have you seen Jake?

00:22:12Uh, no.

00:22:13No.

00:22:14No.

00:22:15All right.

00:22:16Okay.

00:22:17All right.

00:22:18Focus.

00:22:19Focus.

00:22:20Focus.

00:22:21Focus.

00:22:22Focus.

00:22:23Oh, there he is.

00:22:25Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.

00:22:48How could he?

00:23:00Sue, what happened?

00:23:02Did you guys do it?

00:23:04Sue!

00:23:05He doesn't want me.

00:23:07Because he's gay.

00:23:08No, he's not.

00:23:09He just really loves Jesus.

00:23:11Oh, come on, Sue.

00:23:13The only reason you even liked him

00:23:15is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.

00:23:18Look, the only way you're going to find out

00:23:21what kind of man you really want

00:23:22is to know what kind of woman you really are deep inside.

00:23:27What?

00:23:28Come with me.

00:23:30Where?

00:23:30To meet your dark side.

00:23:38Out!

00:23:40Everyone out!

00:23:47Sue, it's time for you and your vagina

00:23:52to meet face-to-face.

00:24:03I really can't.

00:24:06I really don't think I can do this.

00:24:09I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:11I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:19Sue?

00:24:21Can you see it?

00:24:23Sue?

00:24:27I'm almost...

00:24:28I'm almost there.

00:24:30What?

00:24:37What?

00:24:37Sue, what happened?

00:24:38What did you see?

00:24:40A raccoon?

00:24:41What?

00:24:43You overshot it.

00:24:44Aim the mirror further up.

00:24:52I can't.

00:24:53Please don't make me do that again.

00:24:55Okay, fine.

00:24:56Fine.

00:24:57I didn't want to do this,

00:24:58but you leave me no choice.

00:25:00What?

00:25:01You really need an orgasm.

00:25:04Honestly, I don't know how you expected

00:25:06to ever have sex with someone else

00:25:07when you've never even had it with yourself.

00:25:09This really has to be your first step.

00:25:11Lex, I'm waiting.

00:25:13Coming.

00:25:14Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.

00:25:16Just find it and use it.

00:25:19Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?

00:25:21It's black.

00:25:22It vibrates.

00:25:23Come on, Rod.

00:25:26Let's go to Sue's room.

00:25:28And don't come back

00:25:30until you have at least one orgasm.

00:25:42Hey, cutie!

00:25:44Cutie!

00:25:50Booseye!

00:25:51Oh, yeah!

00:25:53Oh, my God!

00:25:54Bang!

00:25:56Bang!

00:25:57Bang!

00:25:59Good boy.

00:25:59Straighten up!

00:26:01Good boy.

00:26:02Good boy.

00:26:04He knows over 100 commands.

00:26:07I'm sorry I can't see anything.

00:26:09That is not funny, Cheryl.

00:26:11What a bitch.

00:26:13Fortunately, when you're blind,

00:26:14you get used to things like that.

00:26:15Oh, shit.

00:26:29Oh, shit.

00:26:33oh shit

00:26:43what's wrong with this thing

00:27:03Cheryl what is wrong Lexi it's Jake

00:27:11he was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl

00:27:15for sure I mean I know I've been putting off having sex with him so maybe

00:27:19maybe it's my fault that's no excuse he's a dirtbag how dare he

00:27:23no it's awful I mean I thought I was

00:27:27gonna marry him

00:27:28it's a text it's it's from him um I can't bear myself to read it okay

00:27:37uh he's looking for you he wants to give you your birthday gift

00:27:41oh I can't face him um I have to go I'm going

00:27:45no you can't just leave well I can't stay and just pretend like

00:27:49nothing happened I mean maybe I should confront him

00:27:51he'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again

00:27:55either way it's bullshit I see only one option

00:27:58I'm leaving revenge sex

00:28:01I mean what what does that even mean it means you find a guy

00:28:05you screw his brains out and you let Jake catch you

00:28:08revenge sex

00:28:12I mean what what does that even mean it means you find a guy

00:28:16you screw his brains out and you let Jake catch you

00:28:18but he I mean he doesn't even care

00:28:21he doesn't care about me I mean why would

00:28:23he's just into other girls trust me he'll care

00:28:27seriously this is the worst thing you can do to him

00:28:30to his ego to screw someone else when you've never even had sex

00:28:33with him especially if it's with someone smarter better looking and with a bigger dick

00:28:38no I couldn't plus I mean there's there's no one smarter and better looking

00:28:45Eric he's perfect Eric Hall are you kidding

00:28:49I mean he wouldn't even be into me he likes your type

00:28:53really and what type is that

00:28:55slutty

00:28:56yeah trust me he's amazing

00:29:00I fooled around with him once he has this great tongue ring

00:29:02oh no I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with

00:29:06okay then fine we will find someone else someone that I haven't fooled around

00:29:12okay what does it matter that I fooled around with him I mean it's you're not gonna marry the guy

00:29:20no I just couldn't do it

00:29:22fine if you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right

00:29:27thing to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him

00:29:32the rest of his existence and you chose not to do it go ahead but honestly I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself

00:29:39I don't know

00:29:41but honestly I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself

00:29:46I don't know

00:29:48trust me it's going to work

00:29:51I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs

00:29:58hi Cheryl

00:30:01okay enough to chat

00:30:02oh no

00:30:03hey

00:30:15happy birthday

00:30:17thanks

00:30:20have you guys seen Jake

00:30:42so

00:30:46happy birthday

00:30:50do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain

00:30:56but it's actually from us

00:30:57US

00:30:57America

00:30:59United States

00:31:02I know where we live

00:31:04right

00:31:05of course

00:31:06I know where we live

00:31:11right

00:31:11of course

00:31:12hey Jesus Eric are you going to make your move or not

00:31:19oh you want me to move yeah no I can totally move I just

00:31:22do you want me to make your move or not do you want me to make your move or not

00:31:30I'm sorry it what um it like monkey boning and like pigs in a blanket get real nasty

00:31:37oh oh you mean like uh right now right now I mean well yeah you know the sooner the better

00:31:44yeah sure I mean well yeah I mean well yeah yeah sure I mean yeah of course I just never realized that you I mean

00:31:58I just never realized that you I mean

00:32:08Whew, uh, it's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.

00:32:18Okay, um, no Cassine.

00:32:22Right, um, of course.

00:32:25Sorry.

00:32:27So, um, do you want to unwrap me?

00:32:33Oh, wow.

00:32:34Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or leftover macaroni and cheese.

00:32:39Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:41Uh, you're fresh.

00:32:45Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:47Uh, you're fresh.

00:32:49Organic.

00:32:51Yep.

00:32:53So the wrap.

00:32:55Right.

00:32:56Um, where's the, uh...

00:32:59It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.

00:33:01Oh, yeah, here it is.

00:33:02Yeah.

00:33:03That's where I see it.

00:33:04Um, let me just, uh, got it.

00:33:06Uh...

00:33:07Ow, ow, ow.

00:33:08Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:33:09I, um...

00:33:10It's, it's okay.

00:33:11Here.

00:33:12Do it again.

00:33:13Sorry, I, uh, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.

00:33:17You know what?

00:33:18Let me just lay on the bed.

00:33:20Okay.

00:33:25Uh, let me just see.

00:33:28Oh, here it is.

00:33:29Oh, here it is.

00:33:30I got it.

00:33:31All right.

00:33:32Um, pull it.

00:33:33Let me just...

00:33:34Ah!

00:33:35Oh!

00:33:36Oh, geez.

00:33:37Uh, Cheryl, are you...

00:33:38You okay?

00:33:39Help!

00:33:40Help!

00:33:41Uh...

00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?

00:33:45Oh, geez.

00:33:47Uh, oh, here...

00:33:48Uh...

00:33:49Uh...

00:33:50Uh...

00:33:51Uh...

00:33:52Uh...

00:33:53Well, that was stupid.

00:33:56Uh...

00:33:57Yeah.

00:33:58Uh...

00:33:59How you doing tonight?

00:34:00You having a good time?

00:34:01Yeah?

00:34:02You good?

00:34:03Jake!

00:34:04I think I saw Cheryl upstairs?

00:34:05What?

00:34:06I can't hear you.

00:34:07You another beer.

00:34:08The chips are so damn salty.

00:34:09Oh, geez.

00:34:10Upstairs?

00:34:11What?

00:34:12I can't hear you.

00:34:14Another beer.

00:34:15Chips are so damn salty.

00:34:17Jake!

00:34:18Upstairs.

00:34:19Yeah.

00:34:20Hold on.

00:34:21Take a piss.

00:34:23How much beer?

00:34:40Ah.

00:34:41Ah.

00:34:42Ah.

00:34:43Ah.

00:34:52Finally.

00:34:53I, uh, let me just get the blinds.

00:34:56Oh, no, no, no.

00:34:57No, no, no.

00:34:58Um, don't worry about it.

00:34:59What?

00:35:00I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:35:05Oh.

00:35:07Well, okay.

00:35:08Okay.

00:35:09Okay.

00:35:10Okay.

00:35:11Let me just get the blinds.

00:35:12Oh.

00:35:13No, no, no.

00:35:14No, no, no.

00:35:15Um, don't worry about it.

00:35:16What?

00:35:17I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:35:21Oh.

00:35:22Well, okay.

00:35:23Okay.

00:35:24Okay.

00:35:25Okay.

00:35:26Okay.

00:35:27Okay.

00:35:28Okay.

00:35:29Okay.

00:35:30Okay.

00:35:31Okay.

00:35:32Okay.

00:35:33Okay.

00:35:34Okay.

00:35:35Okay.

00:35:36Okay.

00:35:37Okay.

00:35:38Okay.

00:35:39Okay.

00:35:40Okay.

00:35:41Let's go.

00:36:11What are you doing?

00:36:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.

00:36:33Um, not yet.

00:36:34More foreplay.

00:36:35Huh?

00:36:35Oh.

00:36:41It's so good.

00:36:45Oh.

00:36:47Yep.

00:36:48Oh, my God.

00:36:50Jaw, jaw, jaw.

00:36:51What?

00:36:52What?

00:36:52Ah, ah, oh.

00:36:54Ah, yeah.

00:36:56Lock jaw, lock jaw.

00:36:57Is that even a thing?

00:36:59I don't know.

00:37:01Ah.

00:37:03Are you okay?

00:37:06No, no, no, no, no.

00:37:07It's, uh, it's fine.

00:37:09I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.

00:37:11It's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.

00:37:18You sure you're okay?

00:37:20Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

00:37:21Okay, great.

00:37:22Have fun.

00:37:22Oh.

00:37:28Now.

00:37:29Now, let's do it now.

00:37:30No, not yet.

00:37:31Not yet.

00:37:34All right, I'm gonna come.

00:37:35I'm gonna come.

00:37:36No, not yet.

00:37:36Not yet.

00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:37:39No, no, no, no.

00:37:39Not yet.

00:37:40Lexi, Lexi, oh.

00:37:42Shh.

00:37:42Oh.

00:37:46No, no, no, no, no, not yet.

00:37:47Lexi, Lexi, oh.

00:37:49Shh.

00:37:50Oh.

00:37:51No means no.

00:37:52Huh?

00:37:53Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:37:54I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:37:55It's been a really long time,

00:37:56and I haven't been masturbated for anything.

00:37:59Oh, hey, Jake.

00:38:06What are you doing?

00:38:09How's it going?

00:38:11Good.

00:38:12Eric?

00:38:13Help me.

00:38:14Eric, help me.

00:38:15I'm glad I can't see anything.

00:38:17Excuse me.

00:38:21Cheryl's in here.

00:38:27Sup, bro?

00:38:28What the...

00:38:29What the fuck is...

00:38:30Sorry.

00:38:31Hey, wait!

00:38:34Lex.

00:38:35Still waiting.

00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry.

00:38:43I can't see.

00:38:44I'm blind.

00:38:46Damn it.

00:38:47I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.

00:38:50Hey, you!

00:38:52You better stop making fun of the blind,

00:38:54or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.

00:38:57Ow!

00:38:59I'm so sorry!

00:39:00I'll never make fun of the blind again.

00:39:02Ah!

00:39:03Oh, man.

00:39:04No more water balloons.

00:39:06This party's ass.

00:39:11Oh, man, no more water balloons.

00:39:28This party's ass.

00:39:32Yeah.

00:39:36This just isn't working.

00:39:39Nothing.

00:39:40What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?

00:39:45Be careful, man.

00:39:46The lock sticks.

00:39:48Spark it up.

00:39:49Yes.

00:39:53Oh, man.

00:39:54I love this game.

00:39:55We're in the controllers.

00:39:56We got to play.

00:39:57Here, here, here.

00:39:57Okay, let me find another one.

00:39:59All right, come on.

00:40:02Whoa.

00:40:04Look at this.

00:40:07Fuel, fuel, fuel.

00:40:08Get that thing away.

00:40:10Jesus.

00:40:17Hey, dude, nice shot.

00:40:20Wasn't me.

00:40:25Whoa, whoa.

00:40:27Nice.

00:40:28Are you sitting on there or something?

00:40:30Hey, you found the grenade launcher.

00:40:33Nice.

00:40:34Nice.

00:40:46Do you have the extra controller?

00:40:47You are the controller.

00:40:58Whoa.

00:40:58You are the controller.

00:41:02No, I just.

00:41:04I didn't.

00:41:05I swear.

00:41:06All right.

00:41:17Hey, hey, Sue.

00:41:18Don't leave.

00:41:18What are you doing, man?

00:41:22It's okay.

00:41:23Hey, Sue.

00:41:24Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?

00:41:36Yeah, I just needed to, um...

00:41:39Oh, sure.

00:41:41Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.

00:41:46You were?

00:41:47You were?

00:41:48You mean...

00:41:50Yeah.

00:41:53So you think we should give it a try?

00:41:57Could we go get a drink?

00:42:01Wow.

00:42:02Um, your toilet's really...

00:42:04Oh, you...

00:42:05Do you know what?

00:42:07I gotta go.

00:42:08Um, happy birthday.

00:42:09Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't...

00:42:11I didn't...

00:42:12Oh, God, never mind.

00:42:25This was the worst idea ever.

00:42:28Never going to have sex.

00:42:30Ow.

00:42:39Hello, a little attention here.

00:42:52Oh, yeah, sorry.

00:42:59Lex, don't be selfish.

00:43:01Oh, right.

00:43:03Sorry.

00:43:09Oh, jeez.

00:43:17Who invented this stupid position, anyway?

00:43:20Too much fucking multitasking.

00:43:23Screw it.

00:43:32Oh.

00:43:33Oh.

00:43:39No, that was bad.

00:44:05That was so bad.

00:44:09Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?

00:44:24I think that guy's name starts with a J.

00:44:30Hey.

00:44:32Does your name start with a J?

00:44:34Yes, it does.

00:44:36So, you're JJ?

00:44:37Uh-oh.

00:44:39We've been attacking this fall through, it shouldn't, yes, I'm completely concerned, come with threes at the middle of-

00:45:00Hello, welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a priest or a nun today?

00:45:05A nun.

00:45:06Please punch in your credit card number.

00:45:13Please hold.

00:45:14Oh, thank goodness.

00:45:181-900-CONFESSION, how may I be of service?

00:45:21It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.

00:45:26One day?

00:45:29Ow!

00:45:30Is that too long?

00:45:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.

00:45:37Go on.

00:45:38Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately. Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.

00:45:46What's her problem?

00:45:47A washing machine touched her.

00:45:51Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.

00:45:54All right, freak, time's up.

00:45:56What? But what do I do?

00:45:57Just unplug the thing.

00:45:59No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.

00:46:02Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.

00:46:06I'm serious.

00:46:07Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.

00:46:13Masturbation isn't a sin.

00:46:15No contritions?

00:46:17You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.

00:46:21So the washing machine could touch me anytime? Like morning, afternoon, night?

00:46:27Yes, and other things can touch you.

00:46:30Accidental masturbation is not a sin.

00:46:33Neither is intentional masturbation.

00:46:35Huh. God's pretty cool that way.

00:46:38He sure is. Now run along.

00:46:44Wow. How do you know all that?

00:46:47Because I'm a nun. Now eat my pussy, bitch.

00:46:51Huh. Accidental masturbation. Who would've thunk?

00:46:54Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idiot.

00:47:06God, I'm getting out of here.

00:47:09Yeah, admit it. I've got no game. I guess I'll just get away. I guess I'm a beautiful man. Thank you.

00:47:20Fucking douchebag.

00:47:22Damn it.

00:47:23I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.

00:47:26You go, girl.

00:47:28What?

00:47:30What are you doing here?

00:47:32We needed some place private. But hey, listen. If you're serious about getting laid.

00:47:37Yeah?

00:47:38If you want someone great. I mean, really, the best ever. No offense. Frank, the blind guy?

00:47:47Really?

00:47:48I'm telling you, he's amazing. I had food sex with him a few weeks ago. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It was like we used all our senses. Everything. If you're interested, I'll set it up. All right.

00:48:08What about him? Jeremy. Oh, yeah. I know Jeremy. Hey, I think I fooled around with him once. I didn't know his last name, though. It's Jones. Jeremy Jones. This all makes sense. Excuse me. Jeremy. Hi. Hey. Who's on the phone? Oh, that's my new girlfriend. You'll meet her. It's up here in, like, two hours.

00:48:37It's up here in, like, an hour. Wait. You have a girlfriend?

00:48:53Oh. Hey, Frank.

00:48:56Sit.

00:49:00Oh, you meant... you meant the dog.

00:49:04Relax.

00:49:07You need to relax and calm down.

00:49:18Oh, I'm... I'm relaxed. I'm fine.

00:49:21Then why are you biting your nail?

00:49:23I'm not.

00:49:26How did you know that?

00:49:30Corner.

00:49:31Sit.

00:49:32Roll over.

00:49:33Oh, you mean me?

00:49:34Roll over.

00:49:35Oh, you mean me?

00:49:36Roll over.

00:49:37Oh, you mean me?

00:49:38Roll over.

00:49:39Oh, you mean me?

00:49:40Oh, how do you... how do you want me to...

00:49:41Just lay down.

00:49:42Roll over.

00:49:43Roll over.

00:49:49Oh.

00:49:50Oh.

00:49:51Oh.

00:49:52Oh.

00:49:53Oh.

00:49:54Oh.

00:49:55Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.

00:50:10Okay.

00:50:13Oh.

00:50:16See me with your hands.

00:50:21All right.

00:50:22Uh, you know, I should really, I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.

00:50:33Really.

00:50:46Mmm, peanut butter.

00:50:52All right.

00:51:02Frank.

00:51:03Oh.

00:51:06Oh, Frank.

00:51:22Oh, man.

00:51:33Dude, give me a chip.

00:51:34My chips, old boy.

00:51:36Dude, give me a chip, man.

00:51:37My chips.

00:51:38Dude.

00:51:38My chip.

00:51:39Dude, give me a chip.

00:51:41My chips.

00:51:43Guys, why are you making such a mess?

00:51:46Sorry.

00:51:47Sorry.

00:51:47It's just a case of accidental masturbation.

00:51:57That's all.

00:52:01No, let me do this.

00:52:02Go ahead.

00:52:03I got it.

00:52:04I got it.

00:52:04No, really.

00:52:05Please.

00:52:05I want to help.

00:52:07Please.

00:52:09Okay.

00:52:10Everybody out.

00:52:11Leave.

00:52:12You're not even getting the chips.

00:52:27They're over here.

00:52:29I see some dust over here, so...

00:52:33It's just so much dust on this floor.

00:52:38This is a dirty floor.

00:52:40It's such a dirty...

00:52:43Dirty floor.

00:52:44It's...

00:52:45Okay.

00:53:03Oh, yeah.

00:53:04Oh, all right.

00:53:05Oh, I think I got all that.

00:53:07I'm just gonna...

00:53:09I'll see you.

00:53:10Oh.

00:53:16We got it.

00:53:17Oh, here we go.

00:53:19Frankie.

00:53:21Oh, my...

00:53:22Oh.

00:53:22What was that?

00:53:23What?

00:53:24Ow, fuck your shit.

00:53:26Man, we got to smoke.

00:53:27Oh, we can smoke it here.

00:53:30Stop.

00:53:31Frank, stop teasing Frank.

00:53:33Oh, shit.

00:53:35I'm sorry, man.

00:53:36We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.

00:53:38Oh, I heard something.

00:53:39You want to join us?

00:53:41No, I might...

00:53:41Come on.

00:53:42You got to do it.

00:53:43Come on.

00:53:44Seriously, guys.

00:53:44I need to...

00:53:45What's your dog, man?

00:53:46What's it like being blind of it?

00:53:47It's tripping.

00:53:52Frank?

00:53:54Frank, are we going to do something soon?

00:53:58Bro, you are too funny.

00:54:02Thanks, man.

00:54:02Oh, this is some good stuff.

00:54:05I haven't smoked since junior high.

00:54:06Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.

00:54:09Wait, wait, wait.

00:54:10I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.

00:54:14Damn, I really can't remember.

00:54:16This is some good shit.

00:54:17Oh, no.

00:54:36You're the devil.

00:54:38No more.

00:54:39JJ, I'm...

00:54:43Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?

00:54:48Please.

00:54:49Lex, I can't.

00:54:51I mean, I got a girlfriend.

00:54:53I really like this girl.

00:54:55Fine.

00:54:55It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.

00:55:10Oh.

00:55:13Oh.

00:55:13We've got, like, 30 minutes before she gets here.

00:55:16Perfect.

00:55:21Before she gets here.

00:55:22Perfect.

00:55:23Perfect.

00:55:33I'm going to do it.

00:55:34Let's do it.

00:55:36Fuck me.

00:55:36Fuck me now.

00:55:37What?

00:55:42What's wrong?

00:55:43I can't.

00:55:44I can't get it in.

00:55:46Just try down there.

00:55:47It's like desert down there.

00:55:49It's sandpaper.

00:55:51I just...

00:55:51Okay, I get the picture.

00:55:53Just try it again.

00:55:56No.

00:55:57Why is this happening?

00:55:59We fooled around before.

00:56:01I was dripping wet.

00:56:02I came, like, four times, remember?

00:56:04Just do what you did then.

00:56:05Go on.

00:56:06I already did my thing.

00:56:07I already tried.

00:56:09What?

00:56:10What?

00:56:10What is different this time?

00:56:12I don't know.

00:56:14Last time...

00:56:16I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.

00:56:20What?

00:56:22You're not JJ?

00:56:24But your name is Jeremy Jones.

00:56:26How can you not be JJ?

00:56:28Who the hell is this JJ?

00:56:31Where are you going?

00:56:32We're not done here.

00:56:34I can still do this.

00:56:35I just need a little bit of foreplay.

00:56:36I can do this.

00:56:37I don't need JJ.

00:56:39I don't need anyone else.

00:56:40We can do this.

00:56:42Go team.

00:56:46What?

00:56:47Just keep going.

00:56:49Oh.

00:56:50Oh.

00:56:52Jeremy.

00:56:52Where's Jeremy?

00:56:53Where's Jeremy?

00:56:54Oh.

00:56:54We were just, you know,

00:57:08here.

00:57:08Hey, babe.

00:57:11Just working out.

00:57:12Oh.

00:57:13Oh.

00:57:14Oh.

00:57:15Oh.

00:57:16Oh.

00:57:17Oh.

00:57:18Oh.

00:57:19Oh.

00:57:20Oh.

00:57:21Oh.

00:57:22Oh.

00:57:23Oh.

00:57:24Oh.

00:57:25Oh.

00:57:26Oh.

00:57:27Oh.

00:57:28Oh.

00:57:29Oh.

00:57:30Oh.

00:57:31Oh.

00:57:32Oh.

00:57:33Oh.

00:57:34Oh.

00:57:35Oh.

00:57:36What is wrong with you?

00:57:41What is wrong with you?

00:57:44You used to be so pure.

00:57:46Well, no more. That's it.

00:57:48Really, that's the last one.

00:58:06Cheryl!

00:58:24What is it? What are you doing down here?

00:58:27Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.

00:58:31What? Why?

00:58:33Nothing. Just this lying guy and his dog and...

00:58:38Honey, it's gonna be okay.

00:58:40No, it's not okay.

00:58:43God, I...

00:58:44And you know whose fault it is?

00:58:46I'm sorry.

00:58:47It's Jake's. Jake's fault.

00:58:49That lying, cheating bastard.

00:58:51Yes. He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.

00:58:55Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him.

00:58:58I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?

00:59:01Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?

00:59:02You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.

00:59:05Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.

00:59:10Yeah.

00:59:12You know, you might wanna...

00:59:14You need to look hot while you break up with him.

00:59:16Yeah, you're right.

00:59:18Why am I wearing a sheet?

00:59:19No.

00:59:20No.

00:59:26I'm sorry.

00:59:27I'm so...

00:59:29I get shy around beautiful women like you.

00:59:34I got no game.

00:59:35It's not important.

00:59:41It's not important.

00:59:54Hey, um...

00:59:55Eric, I can't talk right now.

00:59:56No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.

00:59:59Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...

01:00:01No, no, no, no.

01:00:02I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,

01:00:04and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it up to you.

01:00:07Eric, really?

01:00:09I don't care. It's fine.

01:00:10No, but I do.

01:00:12I mean, I do. I care.

01:00:15I haven't known how to tell you.

01:00:17Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.

01:00:20But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.

01:00:26Soon.

01:00:27Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while,

01:00:29and it would be nice to go out.

01:00:31Really?

01:00:32Eric, you're shy.

01:00:33You have no game.

01:00:35No, not really.

01:00:38Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.

01:00:39Okay. All right.

01:00:45I, uh...

01:00:48Happy birthday, then.

01:01:00Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.

01:01:02It's your...

01:01:11Wow.

01:01:23Here I come, baby.

01:01:24Get ready for your big birthday surprise.

01:01:29Oh.

01:01:30Eric, stop.

01:01:31Um, we can't do this.

01:01:33Oh, God.

01:01:34Not again.

01:01:35Oh, no, um...

01:01:36Honey, happy...

01:01:38What the fuck is this?

01:01:40Who the hell are you, dude?

01:01:41Okay, guys.

01:01:42Don't.

01:01:46Cheryl.

01:01:47Baby.

01:01:48What is this?

01:01:50Aw, gee, Cheryl.

01:01:52You're...

01:01:53I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...

01:01:56Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.

01:01:58You couldn't find me?

01:01:59What about all those girls' vaginas you were in?

01:02:02Or your penis getting sucked?

01:02:05Cheryl, honey.

01:02:06No, no.

01:02:07We can work this out.

01:02:08Baby, I love you.

01:02:09Jake, no.

01:02:10You have to go.

01:02:11Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.

01:02:12I promise.

01:02:13No, Jake.

01:02:14I can't do this. I'm sorry.

01:02:16Cheryl, come on.

01:02:17No, Jake, please.

01:02:18Please, just go.

01:02:19Just go. I'm sorry.

01:02:20You're a harmless bitch!

01:02:22How can you do...

01:02:24Yay!

01:02:25You did it.

01:02:26I am so proud of you.

01:02:27You got your revenge sex.

01:02:28You left him in your shell of a man.

01:02:30Revenge sex?

01:02:33It's really not what it sounds like at all.

01:02:36Right.

01:02:38That all makes sense now.

01:02:41Wow. I feel really stupid.

01:02:44Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.

01:02:47Cheryl, I really liked you.

01:02:50And he used me.

01:02:52Eric, please don't go.

01:02:53Please, Eric!

01:02:56Aren't you happy?

01:02:58Well, no.

01:02:59That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.

01:03:02You mean the sex?

01:03:03Was it...

01:03:04No, he didn't quite do it.

01:03:06Oh.

01:03:07You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.

01:03:09Really?

01:03:10I just never found the right guy.

01:03:11Or guys.

01:03:13Anyway.

01:03:14We better get downstairs.

01:03:15People are starting to leave.

01:03:17I wonder how Sue did.

01:03:20I can't believe she dumped me, man.

01:03:21This is bullshit.

01:03:22God!

01:03:23Oh!

01:03:24Oh!

01:03:25Oh!

01:03:26Oh!

01:03:27Oh!

01:03:28Oh!

01:03:29Oh!

01:03:30Oh!

01:03:31Oh!

01:03:32Oh!

01:03:33Oh!

01:03:34Oh!

01:03:35Oh!

01:03:36Oh!

01:03:37Oh!

01:03:38Oh!

01:03:39Oh!

01:03:40Oh!

01:03:41What the hell!

01:03:42Oh!

01:03:43Oh!

01:03:44Oh!

01:03:46Don't keep fused on me.

01:03:47Don't volta for my car either.

01:03:50Right, set, break, dot, I might need a vacation, vacation, vacation.

01:03:58Take this information through your head.

01:04:02Oh, Sue, are you all right?

01:04:05Was it from sex? Did you pop your cork?

01:04:08I don't think so. Not with the guy, anyway.

01:04:11Oh, don't ask. Every possible object.

01:04:15It's like every mechanical thing. It was like Transformers.

01:04:19They just all became vibrators. I told you.

01:04:23It's addicting.

01:04:25So what about Chris?

01:04:27Well, last time I saw him, he was running away through your life.

01:04:29I told you he was gay.

01:04:31Well, I think I'm just all cramp.

01:04:35Oh, I think it's broken.

01:04:38So wait, none of us cashed an RV card.

01:04:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.

01:04:49So I was gonna go grab some food. Can I go?

01:04:51No, thank you.

01:04:53I think I should finish up here.

01:04:55Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?

01:04:57No.

01:04:59I don't know, for some reason I just realized he needs to be my first.

01:05:03Or something.

01:05:05Why, do you know him?

01:05:07Sort of.

01:05:08Oh.

01:05:09Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.

01:05:19Love him.

01:05:20Shut it.

01:05:21You wanna do it with him?

01:05:22I don't wanna hear it from you.

01:05:23You wanna get married?

01:05:24You wanna do it?

01:05:25All right, all right, all right.

01:05:26You wanna do it with him?

01:05:27No.

01:05:28No.

01:05:29No way.

01:05:30No.

01:05:31No way.

01:05:32No way.

01:05:33No way.

01:05:34No way.

01:05:38Ugh.

01:05:39No.

01:05:40No way.

01:05:52No way.

01:05:53Ugh.

01:05:54No way.

01:05:55Oh well, there's always next year.

01:06:25It's you, I've been waiting for you, J.J.

01:06:41I've been waiting for you, J.J.

01:07:11I've been waiting for you, J.J.

01:07:41That's amazing.

01:07:44Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.

01:07:47I guess something inspired me.

01:07:50He really captured his expression in his eyes.

01:07:54Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.

01:07:58Whose?

01:08:00Eric's.

01:08:01Well, it's him, right?

01:08:02Oh.

01:08:04Yeah.

01:08:08I have to go see him.

01:08:14Well, I think you know what we should do.

01:08:161-900-confess.

01:08:29Sister Therese?

01:08:31Yeah, hon.

01:08:32There was a problem with your credit card.

01:08:34I just need the last three numbers in the back.

01:08:37Oh, sure.

01:08:39It's 271.

01:08:41Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?

01:08:46Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you, like take you back?

01:08:52Sure, hon.

01:08:53Why not?

01:08:54As long as you're on the right path.

01:08:57Well, how do you know if you're on that path?

01:08:59I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.

01:09:04Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.

01:09:08Sister?

01:09:09Can I get up now?

01:09:11I really got to pee.

01:09:12No!

01:09:13Hust your trap!

01:09:14Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.

01:09:20I will.

01:09:22Thanks.

01:09:25Sister?

01:09:26Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!

01:09:29Mwahahahaha!

01:09:44Eric, wait!

01:09:48Cheryl?

01:09:51Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.

01:09:57I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.

01:10:02I just didn't want to do that with you.

01:10:05The revenge part, not the sex part.

01:10:07Um, I, I do want to go out with you.

01:10:13And I didn't realize that until this morning.

01:10:17I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is, and he's all over these-

01:10:20Eric!

01:10:22Come on, I gotta get going.

01:10:24Oh, wow.

01:10:26Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.

01:10:29Tina, Cheryl.

01:10:31Hi, nice to meet you.

01:10:33Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?

01:10:42Yeah, sure.

01:10:49Oh, sorry, no kissing, right?

01:10:52No, kissing.

01:10:53Oh.

01:10:54Mmm.

01:10:55Mmm.

01:10:56Mmm.

01:10:57Mmm.

01:10:58Mmm.

01:10:59Mmm.

01:11:00Mmm.

01:11:01Mmm.

01:11:02Mmm.

01:11:03Mmm.

01:11:10Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?

01:11:15I-I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.

01:11:17Wait, what?

01:11:18I never did that.

01:11:20I mean, you don't have to lie about it.

01:11:22She told me all about your pierced tongue.

01:11:29She must have me mixed up with someone else.

01:11:32I wonder who it was.

01:11:33At least this birthday's over.

01:11:52At least this birthday's over.

01:11:54it's over, it's over.

01:11:55Hey.

01:11:55human, see you.

01:11:59They're on.

01:12:05Yeah.

01:12:07I'm not.

01:12:07Bye.

01:12:08Bye.

01:12:09Bye.

01:12:13Bye.

01:12:15Bye.

01:12:17Bye.

01:12:18Bye.

01:12:19Bye.

01:12:20Bye.

01:12:21Bye.

01:12:22Bye.

01:12:23Bye, hi.

01:12:23excuse me excuse me do you know where the church is it's on fountain street um yeah that's the

01:12:50church I go to or used to go to um it's straight up that way and then left thank you you're more

01:12:58than welcome to come with me if you like oh I don't know well that's pretty powerful oh 250 horsepower

01:13:14225 pounds of torque like I said you're more than welcome to hop on I don't think so but thanks

01:13:24what's your name Sue what's yours Jesus really si maybe I could use the ride

01:13:35oh

01:13:42oh

01:13:47Oh, my God.

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