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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:07It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:14We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:25It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's got to stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:17Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's going to realize how much he misses me.
01:23You know you're my best friend, right?
01:25Yeah.
01:26So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:31So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do, like one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy.
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on, I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:51Yeah.
02:52And...
02:53Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoonworthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:08He has a five star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:26Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Come on!
03:39That is too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:32You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:50I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:54Drama Queen 2020?
04:55Oh, man.
04:56What?
04:57This is epic.
04:58This is a mistake.
04:59Look, forget about everything.
05:00You can even keep the money.
05:01Oh, no, no, no.
05:02You can't get away that easy.
05:03Please.
05:04Don't tell Jake about this.
05:05Okay.
05:06I won't tell him.
05:07And I'll do you one better.
05:08I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:09What?
05:10What?
05:11That's why you're in the app, right?
05:13I just wanted to hire someone for a date.
05:14You know, make Jake jealous.
05:15Great.
05:16I'm in.
05:17No.
05:18Look, we can't do that.
05:19He's your brother.
05:20Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:21I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:22No one's gonna believe that you're actually dating me.
05:24Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:25I'm in.
05:26I'm in.
05:27I'm in.
05:28I'm in.
05:29I'm in.
05:30I'm in.
05:31I'm in.
05:32I'm in.
05:33I'm in.
05:34I'm in.
05:35I'm in.
05:36I'm in.
05:37I'm in.
05:38I'm in.
05:39I'm in.
05:40I'm in.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not gonna do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter
05:53brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I wanna teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:00Fine.
06:01But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So when exactly are we gonna do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's... that's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's... that's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:19Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:23Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah, uh, what was the question?
06:36Where did we go on our first date?
06:39Um... the...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:52No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:08Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:23He cheated on you.
07:24It was a mistake.
07:25Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:47Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:30Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:39We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look...
08:42You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:46I guess I'm just nervous.
08:48Don't worry.
08:49I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:52You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:54I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating,
09:01I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:03I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:06You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You're nervous.
09:10You still had time for math leads.
09:12I can't believe you knew all that.
09:15I always thought you just ignored me.
09:17You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still paid attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:29Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean, when you finally decide to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:47We're here.
09:48We're here.
10:05People are looking.
10:07Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me.
10:10People are looking.
10:11When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun from us.
10:44Okay, wow, wow, it looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town party.
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:43He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:48It's time to AF this party up.
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59I knew!
12:01Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:21Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:27Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:41Cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:52Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:47He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night.
13:48And I thought we were...
13:50Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02It all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So yeah, I'm, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:31Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course.
14:36What?
14:37Just...
14:37Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:39Home.
14:40And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:42I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:47You just left me in there.
14:49I know.
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:53Look, you were right.
14:54Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this...
14:59It's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:03What if I don't want it to be over?
15:06You could have your pick of any girl out there.
15:08So, why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:10Yeah, I got on the app.
15:12Because I wanted to delete it.
15:14What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:19Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:20You're not just another number.
15:22Okay?
15:23You never were.
15:26I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:28Alright?
15:29I want...
15:33a real one.
15:37I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:41Well, maybe I realize that...
15:44you're the rest worth taking.
15:59Come on.
16:00Slapshot 239.
16:01Pick me home.
16:05Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:06Yeah.
16:07Just...
16:08make sure these two dots match.
16:09They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:11Okay.
16:12I am trusting the process.
16:14I'm just glad we get to go SAG together.
16:15You never got a date, right?
16:16No date.
16:17But Thamen's really not coming?
16:18I bought him a ticket in case he changes mine, but he won't budge.
16:20Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have
16:21ever seen.
16:22Yeah.
16:23Yeah.
16:24Yeah.
16:25Yeah.
16:26Yeah.
16:27Yeah.
16:28Yeah.
16:29Yeah.
16:30Yeah.
16:31Yeah.
16:32Yeah.
16:33Yeah.
16:34Yeah.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Yeah.
16:37Yeah.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Yeah.
16:40Yeah.
16:41The best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:44No way.
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:47And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will
16:54do if I win.
16:55Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:58At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:02Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh.
17:12Trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:15Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:18I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:22That looks pretty good.
17:24But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:33Yes, Damon.
17:35My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:41I mean, at least he's hot.
17:44So hot.
17:46It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:50Um, not that weird.
17:52We haven't talked in a while.
17:53Why?
17:54I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:55As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
17:59it was over before it began.
18:01Jay-Zoey.
18:03J-Zoey.
18:04Absolutely not.
18:06Well, more Zoey for me.
18:09Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:11Oh, it's Damon!
18:13Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Claremont.
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:21Claremont.
18:22But you better, cause we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay.
18:25Bye!
18:26Hey, beautif-
18:28What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:32You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:35Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:37Ah, yes!
18:39I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:42My sincerest apologies.
18:44Your royalness.
18:45I know how you can make it up to me.
18:47Nope.
18:48Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:51You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zo.
18:54Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake-
18:58Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:01Dude is pumped.
19:02Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:07Yeah, for now.
19:08What do you mean?
19:09Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:11I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:13Why could that be?
19:15Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:20Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:24She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:28She's gonna be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:32And then, you know, for the rest of the school year.
19:35Because I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen.
19:40And then-
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:47Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:51It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:53You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now.
19:58But I promise, when you get out of high school, you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow!
20:05And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:16the cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:26I didn't mean-
20:27Claire!
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire!
20:40Hey!
20:41Um, thanks for picking up.
20:44Whoa.
20:45Did- did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress.
20:48What's up?
20:49Cool.
20:50Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things
20:58don't get awkward tonight.
21:00You mean if we win?
21:02Uh, we're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if win, we win?
21:11If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:15Aw, texting someone else?
21:17It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:20That would suck.
21:21Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:30I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I- I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:41Damon won't even come.
21:44Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:47I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:55Grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:59Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:03Whoa.
22:04Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:07Yeah.
22:09I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:11And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Me neither.
22:23I hope we win, so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about, either way, we make it happen.
22:32One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:36As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:39That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:44Fine.
22:46As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:49What?
22:50You mean...
22:52This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:56My eyes!
23:00What, like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:03Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see, by all means.
23:09Oh, uh, sorry.
23:10Chelsea's calling me.
23:11I should get it.
23:12I'll see you later?
23:13Yeah, yeah.
23:14See ya.
23:15Yeah.
23:16Yeah.
23:17Yeah.
23:18See ya.
23:23Oh, uh, sorry.
23:25Chelsea's calling me.
23:26I should get it.
23:28I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah.
23:31See ya.
23:32Hello?
23:33Hello?
23:34Hello?
23:35Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:37Wow.
23:38You look incredible.
23:39Thanks.
23:40Are you going somewhere?
23:41Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
23:44Look, I'm sorry about before.
23:45I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and, I don't know, I really
23:47want to get to the cheese board with my name on it.
23:48You can't get to the cheese board with my name on it and I need to get to.
23:49Hello? Hello?
23:52Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:55Wow. You look incredible.
23:58Thanks. Are you... are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:05Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:08I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and...
24:13I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I should have known how important I was to you.
24:18It's okay.
24:20God, how do you... how do you do this?
24:22You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:31Is this going to match your dress?
24:33You're coming?!
24:35And you got me a corsage?
24:37Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:39I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43I'm crazy, I'm just kidding.
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing! Nothing!
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:49Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:52Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:54And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
24:57Okay!
24:59Okay!
25:14This part always gets me.
25:19Yes!
25:20Yes!
25:21Yes!
25:22Yes!
25:23It is.
25:24It's so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:26What?
25:27No.
25:28No, I mean, I'm...
25:29I'm not NOT watching hockey.
25:31Come on, babe.
25:33Tell me some slack.
25:34It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:36This is a classic, Damon.
25:38Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:40Classics just code for old.
25:42I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:45Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:49Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:57Um...
25:58Crap.
25:59Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:02Um...
26:03Nico...
26:04Guitar...
26:05Flames is calling?
26:06Who's that?
26:07I...
26:08I completely forgot.
26:09I have a...
26:10A lesson.
26:11Ow!
26:12Is this why you've gotten someone to guitar lately?
26:17Hey!
26:18My favorite student!
26:19And my favorite student's...
26:21Friend?
26:22We...
26:23We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:26Oh, yes!
26:27I see you took my recommendation.
26:30Such a classic.
26:33Boyfriend.
26:35What?
26:36I'm not her friend.
26:37I'm her boyfriend.
26:38Oh, lucky guy.
26:39Who...
26:40Who was just...
26:41Leaving.
26:42Bye, Damon!
26:43I mean, I can stay.
26:44I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:47But no!
26:48I...
26:49I mean...
26:50No!
26:51No!
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:54So intimate.
26:55Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I...
27:09I don't...
27:10We...
27:11I...
27:12We don't...
27:13Um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:17Yeah.
27:18I've been in love...
27:19A bunch of times.
27:20I mean...
27:21Not a...
27:22Not a...
27:23Bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:25There's just a lot of...
27:27Pressure.
27:28On when to say it.
27:29You know?
27:30There's just...
27:31There's a lot of stress.
27:32And then...
27:33You don't know who should say it first.
27:34Or...
27:35When you should say it.
27:36Or if...
27:37Get back and...
27:38Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:46Should we begin?
27:48Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Damon?
27:52Hey, Zoe.
27:53What's up?
27:54How are you doing?
27:55I'm good.
27:56That's awesome.
27:57I'm...
27:58I'm also good.
27:59You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:00Coming home tomorrow.
28:01So...
28:02Here's a funny...
28:03Little question...
28:04For you.
28:05Claire's guitar teacher.
28:06NICO.
28:07NICO.
28:08Yeah.
28:09He's...
28:10He's not even that good looking.
28:11Like at all.
28:12Oh no.
28:13He's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:29I just think it's...
28:30It's weird.
28:31You know, we...
28:32She's doubled her lessons while she was in school.
28:34Andre.
28:35doubled her lessons while I've been away, and we're watching movies they both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar
28:43player multiple times a week? I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe. Okay, I wouldn't feel great
28:52about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
29:00I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:04I haven't even heard her play anything. Yeah, Damon,
29:07I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this? Who am I going to talk to,
29:11Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff. If only you knew somebody that dated Claire
29:15and knew her really, really well. Jake? Yeah.
29:19Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friends, though.
29:27Claire's lucky to have you on her side. Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely
29:31nothing to worry about. Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow? Look, it's on that.
29:36Yeah. Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:47Hey, birthday boy.
29:51Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:53He's in the shower. He just got back from practice, and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:12Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:15Oh, that's right. She starts signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so,
30:32I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening, per usual.
30:42That's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:47Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages.
31:07You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with.
31:12Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh, yeah, but what, huh?
31:19Hockey? And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously, though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:29I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:31Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked,
31:50and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:56So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:01It's actually not terrible advice.
32:05Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:07Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be her boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:16Bye!
32:16Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:39Hey!
32:41I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon?
32:46Um, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and-and I-I-I-this was going to be your birthday surprise, but I just-I didn't think I could wait.
33:00Okay.
33:01You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me wanna laugh, and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Like, you're the one, so there's one thing I must do, I have to say, bye.
33:31I love you.
33:32I love you, too.
33:34I love you, too.
33:37Mom and steal her.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe, and-
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and-and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54Well.
33:54And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I-I wanna make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I wanna watch whatever you wanna watch, and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:21Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I-I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes?
34:24Please.
34:31Blue-white, baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we're down so high.
34:38Meet each other one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:49Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
35:19don't understand why you're freaking out right now. One, Damon's been in your room, and two,
35:23you're not a virgin. I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers. True. That's awkward. Is there a term
35:31for that? Sleeping with brothers. Please do not ever Google that. Ever. You're not helping. So,
35:43look, this is a big night. After tonight, that's it. What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon. There's no going back. Going back to what? To Jake? Have you guys
35:55been talking or something? No. Not talking. Just, I don't know. We dated for so long. It
36:02feels like a betrayal, you know? And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know
36:09he's not in a good place. About time. She dragged that on long enough. What's that supposed to be?
36:15Nothing, Claire. I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal. You're
36:20good. You think they'll talk about it? Oh my god, what if they compare notes? Oh god,
36:25that's so awkward. I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you. Plus, Damon
36:30is going to be ten times better than Jake. Think about all that experience. Why would you
36:35say that so? I didn't even think of it like that. God, he's been with so many girls. What
36:42if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing? God, thinks a lot. Just what I needed. That's
36:49literally not what I meant at all. Ah, it's Damon. Wish me luck. Bye.
36:56Hey. You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell
37:10good, I'll let it slide. You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and
37:18you probably smell good, I'll let it slide. Hey, so I got some news. Bad news? No, just
37:25uh, do you remember Natasha? Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to like live off the land
37:33in Japan? Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news. I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Hmm, let me think about that. I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise. She just
37:56wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week. Wait, wait,
38:00she's coming over to your place? Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you. That's exactly why we didn't
38:14work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend hack. I don't know. I know who you guys were when
38:19you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other. Yeah, now I can't keep
38:22my hands off you. I'm being serious. We both have exes, Claire. Come on. Don't forget
38:28I was watching you date my brother for two years. Don't forget I was watching you date my brother
38:32for two years. Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you
38:37night. I was hoping this could be our special. She's here. I gotta go. Love you.
38:56I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time. Ha ha. Funny. You
39:02know what else is funny? Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend. Wow. Which one? Please
39:09don't say Natasha. Didn't she move to the Philippines? Thailand. And just for the year, sadly. Damon
39:20finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect
39:25night. Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain. Same difference. Okay, Natasha's
39:31back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird? He showered. Okay.
39:39He's pretty. He does that. Anything else? I trust Damon. I don't trust her. Shit. She just posted a
39:50story. I can't look at it. She'll know. She has 80,000 followers. She's not gonna see your name.
39:55I can't look, Zoe. You look. What is it? Are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:08Why would you have me look at that? Ugh! This is it. You're gonna get married, have two and a half
40:23kids, and have a yurt in Iceland. You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful
40:28in springtime, actually. Ugh. Again, with them not helping. But this was supposed to be our biggest
40:35night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed. But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not
40:40getting back together with Natasha. Did you see the photo? He is supposed to be drinking and
40:46snuggling with me, not her. They're not snuggling. And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this
40:52perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader. You didn't tell him about
40:56this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader. What's going on? Why
41:02are you taking my side on this? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like, whatever. I gotta
41:10go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:22Hi. Are you calling from Reykjavik? What? Nothing. Where are you? I thought you were hanging
41:33out with Natasha. Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand
41:37a person can take. What happened? Nothing. What? Nothing. Nothing, nothing? Or something,
41:43nothing? You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang
41:49as friends. She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her,
41:53and she tried to kiss me. Wait. You kissed? No, no, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry,
42:01Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that position. Did you want to kiss her? No way.
42:06Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss, like, ever. Why don't you say that
42:12to my face? Why don't you let me up? I'm outside. You're here? Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers. Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What? 100%. But do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on, let me up.
42:39Keep going. Now, target zone for the straight punches, right for the front of the face,
42:43palms are down, elbows are tight. There we go. Now, we're going to...
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning. Who knew he'd get some
42:52mushy after sex? That's awesome. And he took me out for breakfast. Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times. Oh, well, now I guess I said it five. Anyway, could you hear that Natasha
43:05pays for her followers? How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts, let's go. Damon was talking about how...
43:12Uppercuts, target zone, where is it? Underneath the chin, elbow tight to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad. I'm just... tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it. I mean...
43:29No, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started
43:34dating Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right? And then Damon
43:40came. And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon. And now Damon's calling
43:45me to talk about you and I am tired of it. We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend. No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend. No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's
44:03fair to say that I've been a bad friend. I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something
44:10huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great. I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but
44:23it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything. This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important? I want to know who stole my bestie's heart. Come on!
44:38She didn't steal anything. It just kind of happened. I didn't think we'd get along so well,
44:44but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl. I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but
44:54you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking. I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are. It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:08I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:25Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on. You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea!
45:37Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:40You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair. Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry. What? She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon? Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself!
46:12I would have talked you out of it!
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:26you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you!
46:31I'm over it.
46:33Well, that went well.
46:44Uh oh. How bad.
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't have been easy.
46:57But at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:01I guess.
47:02I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:17Cool. Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever. I don't need her. I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us? Or about how you were feeling? Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:34Maybe.
48:35Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:40Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:45Bad habit.
48:48Alright, let me figure this out.
48:51Okay, call me back.
48:53Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:58Chelsea? Did I open a curse box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing. I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:55Maybe cause she knew you were gonna act like you did.
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it babe, you know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:18I was wrong.
50:20You're still very cute though, and I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up, please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:10I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:17I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be my person.
51:38If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:42Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
51:59Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:06I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:13It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which...
52:17You did.
52:18And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:21If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:26Wait...
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:30But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:36Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?