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Drama Den
  • 6/14/2025
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Transcript
00:00:30Hello? Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans. I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate. So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:49Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure. I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake. I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:00What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:06Besides, you can't do that to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:08Okay. This is bad. You know, I'm going to tell Lexi. She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:15Come on, Lexi.
00:01:36So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:39Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:44But this is the big 1-8. I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special, but this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:54So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:57Mushrooms?
00:01:58No, not like that. Like something nice. Like maybe a trip.
00:02:02Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:03No.
00:02:07Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:09So do I.
00:02:11Sorry, Sue.
00:02:12Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:25Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:27Yeah, sure.
00:02:30Here you go.
00:02:30No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:34I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:37I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:42Oh, Jake.
00:02:47Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:50Uh, no, Jake. Not yet.
00:02:52When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:54The best night of my life.
00:02:56It will be. I promise.
00:02:58It'll always be amazing.
00:02:59With you and me.
00:03:01Together.
00:03:09Jake, no.
00:03:10I have to go.
00:03:11I have to work on my art project.
00:03:14You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:16but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:18Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:23This Saturday?
00:03:24Of course.
00:03:28Thanks.
00:03:30Okay. Bye.
00:03:31Oh, baby.
00:03:44You're so hot.
00:03:45I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:46Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:47Yeah.
00:03:48What was your name again?
00:03:49Rod.
00:03:50Sex guy.
00:03:55Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:57You're right, I bet.
00:04:07Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:10Oh, no.
00:04:11Does not compute.
00:04:13Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:18Oh, huh.
00:04:19Hi.
00:04:22When did you get home?
00:04:23So, is it true?
00:04:24Yes, it is.
00:04:25It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:30I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy
00:04:35and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:37So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:40Lexi, tell her.
00:04:41Losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:04:43we should all face together.
00:04:45On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:47Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday
00:04:49or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:04:53Maybe.
00:04:54Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but
00:04:58I'm sorry.
00:05:02I know it's tradition, but
00:05:04I'm sorry.
00:05:11But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:13We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:15And, oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:20It's not Jake.
00:05:22It's the male ideal.
00:05:24Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:28Right.
00:05:29But, oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:32I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:33I'm not really an artist.
00:05:34Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:37The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:05:39on the same day.
00:05:40And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:42I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:44And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:45Look, I can go either way.
00:05:47I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:52I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:55Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:59But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:04You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:07Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:13To church.
00:06:14To pray for you.
00:06:15I want to be first in line.
00:06:18I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:19Yeah, me too.
00:06:29Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:31It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:33I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:35Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:06:40but it's about sex.
00:06:43Mm-hmm.
00:06:45I mean, not me.
00:06:47I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:49Mm-hmm.
00:06:51I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:53Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:56But I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:06:58and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:00But there was nothing there.
00:07:04Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:05My friends, my best friends.
00:07:08They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:13What?
00:07:14No.
00:07:15Like, sex.
00:07:16Like, intercourse?
00:07:18With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:19I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:07:21if you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way.
00:07:24Go all the way.
00:07:26What?
00:07:27What?
00:07:27How could you do so?
00:07:33You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:37What?
00:07:43Yes.
00:07:44Yes.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:46Run.
00:07:47Home rep.
00:07:49Damn it.
00:07:52Fucking Yankees.
00:07:53Sorry.
00:08:18Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:22I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:24Jeez.
00:08:25Can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:28I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:31Do you hear me?
00:08:32I want to do it.
00:08:35This weekend.
00:08:36On our birthday.
00:08:38Do what?
00:08:40It.
00:08:41Screw.
00:08:42You know, screwing, boning,
00:08:43making the beast with two backs.
00:08:45You know, shagging.
00:08:46Fucking.
00:08:47You do.
00:08:51But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:58Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party
00:09:06and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:09Right.
00:09:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:13Hey, Frank.
00:09:23Hi, Sue.
00:09:25Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:27I don't know.
00:09:28Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:29Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:31Blind people can do everything
00:09:32regular people can do.
00:09:37We'll be back.
00:09:38Um, I was wondering,
00:09:42we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthdays.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my shirt?
00:10:00Well, the house looks done.
00:10:03Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18.
00:10:06And finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beady sleep
00:10:10because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:12So, okay,
00:10:13we know who Cheryl's gonna do it with,
00:10:14Jake,
00:10:15and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:17But Sue,
00:10:18who are you gonna pick?
00:10:18It's a poppy chair.
00:10:20It's easy.
00:10:21I've known for the past six years,
00:10:23ever since catechism.
00:10:26What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:28I think it's a baby panda
00:10:29wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:30Yeah.
00:10:38My soulmate.
00:10:42Chris?
00:10:43Sue,
00:10:45you, um,
00:10:46might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:48I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No,
00:10:49Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar
00:10:52last year at camp.
00:10:54Plus,
00:10:54his name's Chris.
00:10:55It's a sign.
00:10:56Sue,
00:10:56the only sign
00:10:57is that Chris
00:10:58has a major case
00:11:00of gay face.
00:11:01What?
00:11:02He does not.
00:11:03Anyway,
00:11:03there's no such thing
00:11:04as gay face.
00:11:05He looks just like
00:11:06Justin Bieber.
00:11:07With a little bit of
00:11:08Zac Efron
00:11:09and just a hint
00:11:10of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:11Who the fuck's
00:11:12Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:14Look,
00:11:14Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:17Okay,
00:11:17well,
00:11:18sweet dreams.
00:11:19See you in the morning.
00:11:20I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just
00:11:29didn't expect it to happen
00:11:30so soon.
00:11:50You're so perfect.
00:12:20I knew that's
00:12:35what I look like.
00:12:35Too bad
00:12:53no one
00:12:53could ever
00:12:54compare to you.
00:13:00Ah.
00:13:05Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:29Oh my gosh.
00:13:31They're coming.
00:13:33Lexi,
00:13:34Cheryl,
00:13:35hurry.
00:13:35Ew,
00:13:39why?
00:13:40It's for Jake
00:13:41to unwrap me.
00:13:41It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm gonna surprise him.
00:13:44You're gonna die
00:13:45of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55I never have your mouth, too.
00:13:57Anyway,
00:13:58what guys want
00:13:59is someone who's sexy,
00:14:00not someone they can
00:14:01just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth,
00:14:04plastic,
00:14:05wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Guys, seriously,
00:14:08come on, hurry up.
00:14:10Oh.
00:14:14Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:18Um,
00:14:19you should put that down,
00:14:20though,
00:14:20because it's like,
00:14:21it's really...
00:14:21very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Set it down.
00:14:25Hurry up.
00:14:28Those were your anal beads,
00:14:29right?
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30Okay, let's go.
00:14:30Mm.
00:14:48Oh, Jesus.
00:14:49Whoa!
00:14:49Oh, Jesus.
00:14:50Oh, Jesus.
00:14:50Whoa!
00:14:51Whoa!
00:14:52Hold up.
00:14:54Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:55Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.
00:14:57Nice!
00:14:58Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:00No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:03That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:05but be careful it stings.
00:15:07And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:10Oh, how did you know?
00:15:12I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:28Buster, such a cutie.
00:15:31Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:33All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:37Okay, see you later.
00:15:41I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:43This is crazy.
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:47Happy birthday.
00:15:49Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:53What?
00:15:54You want a beer?
00:15:58No.
00:16:01Oh, hon.
00:16:03Come here.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:08I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:10You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:13And I have a present for you
00:16:15that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, bro.
00:16:21We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23We'll bet.
00:16:28All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Hey.
00:16:41Check it out!
00:16:43Dare me.
00:16:44Oh, dude.
00:16:45Look at those.
00:16:46Are those real?
00:16:47I don't know.
00:16:48Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:16:49Hey!
00:16:50Ah, dude!
00:16:51Move!
00:16:52Come on, lame!
00:16:53Oh, all right.
00:16:54Okay.
00:16:55I'll see you guys later.
00:16:56Go do some push-ups or something.
00:16:57Aw, the moves.
00:16:5820 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.
00:17:07Yeah!
00:17:08They're fake anyways.
00:17:09Who cares?
00:17:10Okay.
00:17:11Oh, dude.
00:17:12Dude.
00:17:13I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:14I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:15Yeah!
00:17:17They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:24Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:32Here, let me.
00:17:33Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:17:36Come on.
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:49It just, like, disappeared.
00:18:02Are these real?
00:18:04Of course they are.
00:18:06How come I haven't met you before?
00:18:08I don't know.
00:18:09Maybe he's going to be around.
00:18:10Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:11Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe you want to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where you went.
00:18:22Go roll.
00:18:25Liquid courage?
00:18:27Yeah.
00:18:27Atta girl.
00:18:28Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:35Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:37I can go meet around.
00:18:39Sue?
00:18:40Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just guys.
00:18:46Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:47Seriously.
00:18:48It's going to be fine.
00:18:49Is Chris here?
00:18:50Okay.
00:18:55Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No.
00:18:59He does not have gatefaces.
00:19:01I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:02I'm going to do it.
00:19:08Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12He does not have gatefaces.
00:19:14I'm going to prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm going to do it.
00:19:17I'm going to do this.
00:19:17Good luck.
00:19:21Hey, you can do this.
00:19:23Just act like a slut.
00:19:27Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:37Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Gamor.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:41Hi.
00:19:42Can I talk to you?
00:19:44Uh-huh.
00:19:45Uh, in private?
00:19:47Uh-huh.
00:19:47Uh-huh.
00:19:47Uh-huh.
00:20:00Hey, Lexi.
00:20:01Hey, Lexi.
00:20:02What?
00:20:04Chris.
00:20:05You're so sexy.
00:20:08Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:20:11I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:14And I really want to...
00:20:17Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:19Is that wrong?
00:20:20Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:22Nothing.
00:20:23I'm sorry.
00:20:23I don't know how to do this.
00:20:25Sue.
00:20:27Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:30I understand these urges.
00:20:34And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:38Really?
00:20:39You do?
00:20:40I do.
00:20:41I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:44Really?
00:20:45You do?
00:20:46I do.
00:20:47I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:49I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:55Right.
00:20:56Lexi said you were...
00:20:57Jesus.
00:20:58Oh.
00:20:59That man.
00:21:00Of course.
00:21:02What did you think?
00:21:03Oh, nothing.
00:21:04So we can still do this then?
00:21:07Oh, Sue.
00:21:09You know, for me,
00:21:13when I think about that man
00:21:15who died for our sins,
00:21:18when I think about him
00:21:19up there on that cross,
00:21:21so helpless,
00:21:22yet so
00:21:23muscular,
00:21:25with his strong thighs
00:21:28crossed over each other
00:21:31so delicately
00:21:33beneath that ragged loincloth
00:21:36growing so hot,
00:21:39so sweaty
00:21:40under that hot,
00:21:42hot sun.
00:21:44I just feel such
00:21:45compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things too.
00:21:49So you understand
00:21:50why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:54I just find it too hard
00:21:56it is
00:21:57to
00:21:58give in to carnal
00:22:00pleasure
00:22:00when
00:22:01he sacrificed
00:22:02so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:06you're going to go out there,
00:22:16right?
00:22:16Andy, we're going to tell
00:22:17you throw these on.
00:22:18Hey, hi.
00:22:19Whoa!
00:22:21Have you seen Jake?
00:22:22Uh, no.
00:22:23No.
00:22:24All right.
00:22:28Okay.
00:22:28All right, focus.
00:22:29Focus, focus.
00:22:30Focus.
00:22:30Focus.
00:22:30Oh, there he is.
00:22:40Oh, he got me the puppy
00:22:41that I wanted.
00:22:42How could he?
00:22:59Sue, what happened?
00:23:01Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:07No, he's not.
00:23:08He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:10Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:12The only reason
00:23:13you even liked him
00:23:14is because you knew
00:23:14he was never
00:23:15a real possibility for you.
00:23:17Look, the only way
00:23:19you were going to find out
00:23:20what kind of man
00:23:20you really want
00:23:21is to know
00:23:22what kind of woman
00:23:23you really are
00:23:24deep inside.
00:23:26What?
00:23:27Come with me.
00:23:29Where?
00:23:29To meet your dark side.
00:23:31Out.
00:23:39Everyone out.
00:23:48Sue, it's time
00:23:50for you and your vagina
00:23:51to meet face to face.
00:24:01I really can't.
00:24:05I really don't think
00:24:06I can do this.
00:24:08I'm not letting you out
00:24:09until you look.
00:24:13I'm not letting you out
00:24:14until you look.
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:19Can you see it?
00:24:22Sue?
00:24:26I'm almost...
00:24:27I'm almost there.
00:24:31What?
00:24:35What?
00:24:36Sue, what happened?
00:24:37What did you see?
00:24:38A raccoon?
00:24:40What?
00:24:42You overshot it.
00:24:43Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:51I can't.
00:24:52Please don't make me
00:24:53do that again.
00:24:53Okay, fine.
00:24:55Fine.
00:24:56I didn't want to do this,
00:24:57but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What?
00:24:59You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly,
00:25:03I don't know
00:25:04how you expected
00:25:05to ever have sex
00:25:05with someone else
00:25:06when you've never
00:25:06even had it with yourself.
00:25:08This really has to be
00:25:09your first step.
00:25:10Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:12Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator
00:25:14is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:15Just find it
00:25:16and use it.
00:25:17Wait, what does
00:25:18the black vibrator look like?
00:25:19It's black.
00:25:20It vibrates.
00:25:23Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:26And don't come back
00:25:28until you have
00:25:29at least one orgasm.
00:25:41Hey, cutie!
00:25:42Cutie!
00:25:43Oh!
00:25:48Bullseye!
00:25:49Oh, yeah!
00:25:53Bang.
00:25:54Bang.
00:25:55Bang.
00:25:56Bang.
00:25:57Good boy.
00:25:58Straighten up.
00:26:00Good boy.
00:26:01Good boy.
00:26:02He knows over
00:26:03a hundred commands.
00:26:05I'm sorry.
00:26:06I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:10Fortunately,
00:26:12when you're blind,
00:26:13you get used
00:26:13to things like that.
00:26:16Oh!
00:26:20Oh!
00:26:20Oh!
00:26:22Oh!
00:26:29Oh!
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:32Oh!
00:26:32Oh, shit.
00:26:42What's wrong with this thing?
00:27:02Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:07Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:10He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:13For sure?
00:27:15I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:17so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:19That's no excuse.
00:27:20He's a dirtbag.
00:27:21How dare he?
00:27:22No, it's awful.
00:27:24I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:27It's a text.
00:27:32It's from him.
00:27:33Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:34Okay.
00:27:35Uh, he's looking for you.
00:27:37He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:39Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:41Um, I have to go.
00:27:42I'm going.
00:27:43No, you can't just leave.
00:27:45Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:48I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:50No.
00:27:51He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:54Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:55I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:27:59Revenge sex.
00:28:00Re...
00:28:01I mean, what?
00:28:02What does that even mean?
00:28:03It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:05and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:09Revenge sex.
00:28:10Re...
00:28:11I mean, what?
00:28:12What does that even mean?
00:28:13It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out,
00:28:15and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:17But he...
00:28:18I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:20He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:21I mean, why would...
00:28:22He's just into other girls.
00:28:23Trust me.
00:28:24He'll care.
00:28:25Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:28:28To his ego.
00:28:29To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:32Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking,
00:28:35and with a bigger dick.
00:28:38No, I...
00:28:39I couldn't.
00:28:40Plus, I mean, there's...
00:28:41There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:44Eric!
00:28:45He's perfect!
00:28:46Eric Hall?
00:28:47Are you kidding?
00:28:48I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:50He likes your type.
00:28:51Really?
00:28:52And what type is that?
00:28:53Slutty.
00:28:55Yeah.
00:28:56Trust me, he's amazing.
00:28:58I fooled around with him once.
00:28:59He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:01Oh, no.
00:29:02I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:29:04Okay, then.
00:29:05Fine.
00:29:06We will find someone else.
00:29:07Someone that I haven't... fooled around with.
00:29:10Okay, what does it matter?
00:29:11That I fooled around with him?
00:29:12I mean, I think you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:13No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:14Fine.
00:29:15If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:17to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage, and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:33But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:36I don't know.
00:29:38I don't know.
00:29:41But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:45I don't know.
00:29:46Trust me.
00:29:47It's going to work.
00:29:54I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:57Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:58Okay, enough to chat with her.
00:30:00Oh, no.
00:30:08Hey.
00:30:09Happy birthday.
00:30:10Thanks.
00:30:11Hey.
00:30:12Happy birthday.
00:30:13Thanks.
00:30:14Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:16Ahem.
00:30:17Thanks.
00:30:38Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:44So...
00:30:46Happy birthday.
00:30:50Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:54But it's actually from us.
00:30:55U.S.
00:30:57America?
00:30:59United States?
00:31:01I know where we live.
00:31:02Right.
00:31:03Of course.
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:08Right.
00:31:09Of course.
00:31:10Hey, Jesus, Eric.
00:31:11Are you gonna make your move or not?
00:31:12Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:13Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:14I just...
00:31:15No, you're fine.
00:31:16Jake!
00:31:17So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:19Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:20It?
00:31:21It?
00:31:22It?
00:31:23It?
00:31:24It?
00:31:25It?
00:31:26It?
00:31:27It?
00:31:28It?
00:31:29It?
00:31:30It?
00:31:31It?
00:31:32It?
00:31:33It?
00:31:34It?
00:31:35It?
00:31:36It?
00:31:37It?
00:31:38It?
00:31:39It?
00:31:40It?
00:31:41Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:31:43Get real nasty.
00:31:44Oh!
00:31:45Oh!
00:31:46You mean, like, right now?
00:31:47I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:48You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:49Yeah, sure.
00:31:50I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:31:51I just never realized that you...
00:31:53I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:55You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:57Yeah, sure.
00:31:58I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:00I just never realized that you...
00:32:03I mean...
00:32:05I mean...
00:32:07Whew!
00:32:08Uh...
00:32:10It's just...
00:32:12You're so...
00:32:14You're so beautiful.
00:32:16Okay.
00:32:17Um...
00:32:18Uh, no Cassine.
00:32:20Right.
00:32:21Um, of course.
00:32:23Sorry.
00:32:26So, um...
00:32:28Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:32:31Oh, wow.
00:32:32Uh, he wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:32:34Or...
00:32:35Leftover Macaroni and Cheese.
00:32:36Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:38Uh...
00:32:39You're fresh.
00:32:43Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:45Uh...
00:32:46You're fresh.
00:32:47Organic.
00:32:48Yep.
00:32:51So, the wrap.
00:32:52Right.
00:32:54Um...
00:32:55Where's the, uh...
00:32:56It's...
00:32:57Uh...
00:32:58The end that I just like right over here.
00:32:59Oh, oh yeah, here it is.
00:33:00Yeah.
00:33:01It's where I see it.
00:33:02Um...
00:33:03Let me just, uh...
00:33:04Uh...
00:33:05Ow!
00:33:06Ow!
00:33:07Ow!
00:33:08Sorry!
00:33:09Sorry!
00:33:10I...
00:33:11It's okay.
00:33:12Do it again.
00:33:13Sorry.
00:33:14I, uh...
00:33:15I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:16You know what?
00:33:18Okay.
00:33:23Uh...
00:33:24Let me just...
00:33:25See...
00:33:27Oh!
00:33:28Here it is.
00:33:29I got it.
00:33:30Alright.
00:33:31Just, um...
00:33:32Pull it.
00:33:33Oh, let me just...
00:33:34Ah!
00:33:35Oh!
00:33:36Oh, geez!
00:33:37Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:38You okay?
00:33:39Help!
00:33:40Help!
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:44Oh, geez.
00:33:46Uh...
00:33:47Uh...
00:33:48Uh...
00:33:49Uh...
00:33:50Uh...
00:33:51Uh...
00:33:52Well, that was stupid.
00:33:53Uh...
00:33:54Uh...
00:33:55Yeah.
00:33:56Uh...
00:34:01How you doing tonight?
00:34:02I'm good.
00:34:03You having a good time?
00:34:04Yeah?
00:34:05You good?
00:34:06Jake!
00:34:07I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:08What?
00:34:09I can't hear you!
00:34:11I need another beer.
00:34:13Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:14Jake!
00:34:15So are you with me?
00:34:16Up...
00:34:17Stairs.
00:34:18Yeah.
00:34:19Hold on.
00:34:20Take a piss.
00:34:21How much beer?
00:34:22I'm good.
00:34:23I can't.
00:34:24Yeah.
00:34:25I can't hear you.
00:34:26No, no.
00:34:27No, I can't get this in.
00:34:28But no, no, they're gonna get a piss.
00:34:29So are you with me?
00:34:30I can't hear you from the outside.
00:34:31Don't be my heart.
00:34:32You're kidding me.
00:34:33I can't hear you.
00:34:34I can't hear you from all of my people.
00:34:35Finally, I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:34:53Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:58I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:02Oh, well, okay.
00:35:05Okay.
00:35:19Finally, I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:35:27What?
00:35:28I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:33Oh.
00:35:34Well, okay.
00:35:35Okay.
00:35:36Okay.
00:35:37Um.
00:35:38I love you guys, go.
00:35:40I'm just remembered.
00:35:43Listen, I was looking, weredly, just to take a look.
00:35:45Yeah.
00:35:46This platform I learned is about doing is about how to relax.
00:35:51I don't want to leave.
00:35:52I mean, it's about to make a dress.
00:35:55I can't believe I love you.
00:35:56Um.
00:35:57I don't mind if I like it.
00:35:59Wait, what?
00:36:00I miss?
00:36:03what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:36:33so good oh yeah oh my god draw draw draw what what what lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing
00:36:56i don't know ah are you okay
00:37:01no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just a embarrassed it's probably tmj or fracture or swollen
00:37:14you sure you're okay yeah yeah i'm fine okay great have fun
00:37:20now now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:37:28i'm gonna come i'm gonna come i'm gonna come
00:37:33no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:38:03How are you doing?
00:38:04How's it going?
00:38:05Good.
00:38:06Eric?
00:38:07Eric, help me.
00:38:08I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:09Excuse me.
00:38:10Cheryl's in here.
00:38:11Sup, bruh?
00:38:12What the fuck is that?
00:38:13Hey, wait!
00:38:14Lex, Meg, still waiting.
00:38:16What the fuck is that?
00:38:18Hey, wait!
00:38:19Lex, Meg, still waiting.
00:38:21What the fuck is that?
00:38:24What the fuck is that?
00:38:26Hey, wait!
00:38:27Lex, Meg, still waiting.
00:38:32Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:33I can't see.
00:38:34I'm blind.
00:38:35Damn it.
00:38:36I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:38:37Hey, you!
00:38:38You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:53Help!
00:38:54I'm so sorry!
00:38:55I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:38:58What the hell?
00:38:59I can't crash.
00:39:00Oh, man.
00:39:01No more water balloons.
00:39:02This party's ass.
00:39:03Yeah!
00:39:04Yeah!
00:39:05Yeah!
00:39:06This just isn't working out.
00:39:09Nothing.
00:39:10Nothing.
00:39:11What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:13What the hell?
00:39:14I can't crash.
00:39:15I can't crash.
00:39:16I can't crash.
00:39:17I can't crash.
00:39:18I can't crash.
00:39:19I can't crash.
00:39:20Oh, man.
00:39:21No more water balloons.
00:39:22This party's ass.
00:39:23Yeah!
00:39:24This just isn't working out.
00:39:25Nothing.
00:39:26Nothing.
00:39:27What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:29Lock the character, man.
00:39:30Lock the sticks.
00:39:31Spark it up.
00:39:32Yes!
00:39:33All right!
00:39:34Oh, man!
00:39:35I love this game!
00:39:36What are the controllers?
00:39:37We gotta play.
00:39:38Here, here, here, here.
00:39:39Okay.
00:39:40Let me find another one.
00:39:41All right.
00:39:42Oh, man.
00:39:43I love this game.
00:39:44I love the controllers.
00:39:45We gotta play.
00:39:46Here, here, here.
00:39:47Here, here.
00:39:48Okay.
00:39:49Let me find another one.
00:39:50All right.
00:39:51Oh, man.
00:39:52I love this game.
00:39:53I love this game.
00:39:54Here, here, here.
00:39:55Okay.
00:39:56Let me find another one.
00:39:57All right.
00:39:58Watch on.
00:39:59Woo!
00:40:00Whoa!
00:40:01Look at this!
00:40:02Oh, my God!
00:40:03Pew, pew, pew!
00:40:04Oh, man.
00:40:05Get that thing away.
00:40:06Jesus!
00:40:11Oh.
00:40:14Hey, dude.
00:40:15Nice shot.
00:40:16Wasn't me.
00:40:22Whoa!
00:40:23Nice.
00:40:24Are you sitting in there or something?
00:40:26Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:40:29Nice.
00:40:30Nice.
00:40:31Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:44Whoa!
00:40:45You are the controller.
00:40:46No, I just...
00:40:47I didn't.
00:40:48I swear, I...
00:40:51I...
00:40:52I...
00:40:53I...
00:40:54I...
00:40:55I...
00:40:56I...
00:40:57I...
00:40:58You are the controller.
00:40:59No, I just...
00:41:00I didn't.
00:41:01I swear, I...
00:41:02I...
00:41:04I...
00:41:05You're all right.
00:41:06All right.
00:41:08Don't leave.
00:41:09All right, all right.
00:41:13Hey, don't leave.
00:41:14Don't leave.
00:41:15Come on, man.
00:41:18It's OK.
00:41:19Hey, hey, Sue.
00:41:30Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:32Yeah, I just needed to, um.
00:41:35Oh, sure.
00:41:37Listen, Sue, I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:42You were?
00:41:44You mean?
00:41:46Yeah.
00:41:49So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:53Could we go get a drink?
00:41:57Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged.
00:42:01You know what?
00:42:03I gotta go.
00:42:04Um, happy birthday.
00:42:05Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't.
00:42:07I didn't.
00:42:08Oh, God, never mind.
00:42:21This was the worst idea ever.
00:42:24Never going to have sex.
00:42:26Ow.
00:42:45Hello?
00:42:46A little attention here.
00:42:48Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:42:55Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:57Oh, right.
00:42:58Sorry.
00:42:59All right.
00:43:01Oh, jeez.
00:43:13Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:16Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:19Screw it.
00:43:20All right, what's beautiful, what's beautiful?
00:43:23You know?
00:43:24You know me, you know me.
00:43:26Oh, yeah.
00:43:27We käytete to have sex because you can't do all.
00:43:29Only another thought.
00:43:30We used to play this stupid seat Whole стал sheerly self.
00:43:43Next time is a new fool.
00:43:44Have you ever gottenDING a lot to go?
00:43:45Not being able to put it all night.
00:43:46Come on, I hope I'll go.
00:43:47What is this movie?
00:43:48No, that was bad.
00:44:02That was so bad.
00:44:15Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:18I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:25Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:29Yes, it does.
00:44:31So, you're JJ?
00:44:33Uh-uh.
00:44:48Hello. Welcome to 1-900 Confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:00A nun.
00:45:01Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:08Please hold.
00:45:10Oh, my goodness.
00:45:141-900 Confession. How may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession.
00:45:19I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:21One day.
00:45:29Is that too long?
00:45:30I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:33Go on.
00:45:35Um, okay. Well, I've been touching myself.
00:45:38Inappropriately.
00:45:39Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:41What's her problem?
00:45:43A washing machine touched her.
00:45:46Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:50All right, freak. Time's up.
00:45:51What? But what do I do?
00:45:52Just unplug the thing.
00:45:54No, but, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:58Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:01I'm serious.
00:46:02Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:06I'll tell you this.
00:46:08Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:11No contritions?
00:46:13You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:16So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:19Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:28Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:31Huh.
00:46:32God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:34He sure is.
00:46:35Now run along.
00:46:39Wow.
00:46:41How do you know all that?
00:46:43Because I'm a nun.
00:46:44Now eat my pussy, bitch!
00:46:47Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:46:49Who'da think?
00:46:59Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, admit it.
00:47:07I've got no game.
00:47:09I guess I can scare you.
00:47:10I mean, I guess I'm fearful.
00:47:15Fucking douchebag.
00:47:17Damn it.
00:47:19I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed someplace private.
00:47:30But hey, listen.
00:47:31If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:33Yeah?
00:47:34If you want someone great.
00:47:36I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:40Frank.
00:47:41Frank.
00:47:42The blind guy.
00:47:43Really?
00:47:44I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:47I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:49It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:52It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:55Everything.
00:47:58If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:00I'll set it up.
00:48:02All right.
00:48:09What about him?
00:48:10Jeremy.
00:48:12Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:14Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:16I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:18It's Jones.
00:48:20Jeremy Jones.
00:48:21This all makes sense.
00:48:23Excuse me.
00:48:25Jeremy.
00:48:26Hi.
00:48:28Who's on the phone?
00:48:29Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:31You'll meet her.
00:48:32She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:33Wait.
00:48:34You have a girlfriend?
00:48:48Oh.
00:48:49Hey, Frank.
00:48:51Sit.
00:48:55Oh, you meant...
00:48:57You meant the dog.
00:48:59Relax.
00:49:02You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:13Oh, I'm relaxed.
00:49:14I'm fine.
00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:21How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:31Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me.
00:49:38Roll over.
00:49:39Oh, how do you...
00:49:40How do you want me to...
00:49:41Just lay down.
00:49:42Oh.
00:49:43Oh.
00:49:44Oh.
00:49:45Oh.
00:49:46Oh.
00:49:47Oh.
00:49:48Oh.
00:49:57Oh.
00:49:58Oh.
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:00Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:05Okay.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:17All right.
00:50:18Uh...
00:50:18You know, I should really...
00:50:26I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:28Really.
00:50:34Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:56Frank, Frank.
00:50:58Oh.
00:51:02Oh, Frank.
00:51:04Oh.
00:51:26Yo, man.
00:51:28Yo, give me a chip.
00:51:29My chips, homeboy.
00:51:31Yo, give me a chip, man.
00:51:32My chips.
00:51:33Yo.
00:51:33My chips.
00:51:34Please, give me a shot of chocolate.
00:51:36My chips?
00:51:38Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:49It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:52That's all.
00:51:56No, let me do this.
00:51:57Go ahead.
00:51:58No, I got it.
00:51:59No, really, please.
00:52:00I want to go.
00:52:02Nice.
00:52:04Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to back you.
00:52:21You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:22They're over here.
00:52:24I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:28It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:33It's just a dirty floor.
00:52:35Such a dirty...
00:52:38dirty floor.
00:52:39That's...
00:52:40I think I got all of that.
00:52:49I'm just gonna...
00:52:51I'll see how...
00:52:53Frankie.
00:53:00Oh, my...
00:53:03Oh.
00:53:03What was that?
00:53:04What?
00:53:05Fuck your shit.
00:53:07Man, we gotta smoke...
00:53:08Oh, Winky's smoking here.
00:53:10Stop.
00:53:11Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:12Oh, shit.
00:53:13Sorry, man.
00:53:14We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:16All right, I heard something.
00:53:17You wanna join us?
00:53:18Uh...
00:53:19No, I might...
00:53:20Come on, you gotta do it.
00:53:21Come on.
00:53:22Seriously, guys.
00:53:23I need to go back.
00:53:24What's your dog, man?
00:53:25Dude.
00:53:26What's your dog, man?
00:53:27What's your dog, dude?
00:53:28What's your dog, man?
00:53:29What's your dog, man?
00:53:30It's tripping.
00:53:31Frank?
00:53:32Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:33Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:34Thanks, man.
00:53:35Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:53:36I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:53:38I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:53:40I'm just gonna do it.
00:53:41You're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:43Oh, I heard something.
00:53:44You wanna join us?
00:53:45Uh...
00:53:46No, I might...
00:53:47Come on, you gotta do it.
00:53:48Come on.
00:53:49You gotta do it.
00:53:50Come on.
00:53:51Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
00:53:52What's your dog, man?
00:53:53Dude.
00:53:54What's it like being blinded?
00:53:55It's tripping.
00:53:56Frank?
00:53:57Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:53:59Bro, you are too funny.
00:54:00I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:01Dude.
00:54:02I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:54:04Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:05I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:10Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:11This is some good shit.
00:54:30Oh, no.
00:54:31You're the devil.
00:54:32No more.
00:54:33No more.
00:54:37JJ, I'm...
00:54:38Jeremy.
00:54:39You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:43Please.
00:54:44Lex, I can't.
00:54:47I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:48I really like this girl.
00:54:50Fine.
00:54:51It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra and I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:09We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:11Perfect.
00:55:16Before she gets here.
00:55:17Perfect.
00:55:18Oh, yeah.
00:55:19I'm gonna do it.
00:55:20Oh, let's do it.
00:55:30Fuck me.
00:55:35Fuck me now.
00:55:36What?
00:55:37What's wrong?
00:55:38I can't get it in.
00:55:40Just to dry down there.
00:55:43It's like desert down there.
00:55:44It's sandpaper.
00:55:45Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:47Just try it again.
00:55:51No.
00:55:52Why is this happening?
00:55:54We fooled around before.
00:55:55I was dripping wet.
00:55:57I came like four times, remember?
00:55:58Just do what you did then.
00:56:00Go on.
00:56:00I already did my thing.
00:56:02I already tried.
00:56:03What?
00:56:05What is different this time?
00:56:07I don't know.
00:56:09Last time...
00:56:10I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:15What?
00:56:16You're not JJ?
00:56:18But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:20How can you not be JJ?
00:56:23Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:26Where are you going?
00:56:27We're not done here.
00:56:28I can still do this.
00:56:29I just need a little bit of fun.
00:56:31I can do this.
00:56:32I don't need JJ.
00:56:33I don't need anyone else.
00:56:35We can do this.
00:56:37Go team.
00:56:41What?
00:56:42Just keep going.
00:56:45Oh!
00:56:46Jeremy!
00:56:48I can do this.
00:56:48Shit!
00:56:50Jeremy!
00:56:58Where's Jeremy?
00:57:00Hi!
00:57:01We were just...
00:57:02You know...
00:57:02Hey, babe.
00:57:05Just working out.
00:57:06How could you?
00:57:11You bastard!
00:57:15You might want to...
00:57:17What?
00:57:18What?
00:57:23Mariela!
00:57:25Mariela!
00:57:26You know those aren't mine!
00:57:28At least not all of them.
00:57:31What is wrong with you?
00:57:32You used to be so pure.
00:57:41Well, no more.
00:57:42That's it.
00:57:43Really, that's the last one.
00:57:44Come on.
00:57:56Come on.
00:57:56Come on.
00:57:56Oh, my God.
00:58:14Cheryl?
00:58:18What is it?
00:58:20What are you doing down here?
00:58:22Waiting for everyone to leave
00:58:24and get far, far away from here?
00:58:26What? Why?
00:58:28Nothing. Just this blind guy
00:58:30and his dog and...
00:58:32Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:34No, it's not okay.
00:58:36God.
00:58:38And you know whose fault it is?
00:58:40I'm sorry. It's Jake's.
00:58:42Jake's fault. That blind,
00:58:44cheating bastard. Yes.
00:58:46He is such a dickwad.
00:58:48You need to confront him.
00:58:50Yeah. Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:52I mean, it's my birthday
00:58:54and where is he anyway?
00:58:56Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:58You know, you just call him here
00:58:59and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:00Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:02A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:04A big piece of it.
00:59:05Yeah.
00:59:06You know, you might wanna...
00:59:08You need to look hot
00:59:10while you break up with him.
00:59:11Yeah, you're right.
00:59:13You're in a sheet.
00:59:14No.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:22I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:27I got no game.
00:59:29It's not important.
00:59:35It's not important.
00:59:48Hey, um...
00:59:49Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:50No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
00:59:52Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:55No, no, no.
00:59:56I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier
00:59:58and I'm just embarrassed
01:00:00and I wanna make it up to you.
01:00:01Eric, really?
01:00:03I don't care. It's fine.
01:00:04No, but I do.
01:00:05I mean, I do. I care.
01:00:07I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:10Maybe cause, uh...
01:00:12I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:13But...
01:00:14I was wondering, or hoping,
01:00:16that...
01:00:17we could go out sometime.
01:00:19Soon.
01:00:20Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while
01:00:22and it would be nice to go out...
01:00:24Really?
01:00:25Eric, you're shy.
01:00:26You have no game.
01:00:28Well, no, not really.
01:00:32Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:00:34Okay, alright.
01:00:39I, uh...
01:00:42Happy birthday, then.
01:00:54I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:05Wow.
01:01:17Here I come, baby.
01:01:18Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:24Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:01:26Oh, God.
01:01:27Damien, not again.
01:01:28Oh, no, um...
01:01:29Honey, happy...
01:01:32The fuck is this?
01:01:33Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:35Okay, guys.
01:01:36Don't.
01:01:40Cheryl.
01:01:41Baby.
01:01:42What is this?
01:01:44Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:45You're...
01:01:47Yeah, I've been looking for you all night
01:01:48and you've been...
01:01:50Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:52You couldn't find me?
01:01:53What about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:01:56or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:58Cheryl, honey.
01:01:59No, no.
01:02:00We can work this out.
01:02:01Well...
01:02:02Baby, I love you.
01:02:03Jake, no.
01:02:04You have to go.
01:02:05Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:02:06No.
01:02:07I promise.
01:02:08No, Jake.
01:02:09I can't do this.
01:02:10I'm sorry.
01:02:11Cheryl, come on.
01:02:12No, Jake, please, just go.
01:02:13Please, come on.
01:02:14I'm sorry.
01:02:15You're a heartless bitch!
01:02:16How can you do...
01:02:18Yay!
01:02:19You did it.
01:02:20I am so proud of you.
01:02:21You got your revenge sex.
01:02:22You've left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:24Revenge sex?
01:02:27It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:30Right.
01:02:32That all makes sense now.
01:02:34Wow.
01:02:35I feel really stupid.
01:02:37Eric, I'm really...
01:02:38I'm really sorry.
01:02:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:43And you used me.
01:02:45Eric, please don't go.
01:02:46Please, Eric!
01:02:47Aren't you happy?
01:02:51Well, no.
01:02:52That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:02:55You mean the sex?
01:02:56Was it...
01:02:57Yeah?
01:02:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:02:59Oh.
01:03:00You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:02Really?
01:03:03I just never found the right guy.
01:03:04Or guys.
01:03:06Anyway.
01:03:07We better get downstairs.
01:03:08People are starting to leave.
01:03:10I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:17I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:24This is bullshit!
01:03:25God!
01:03:26Oh!
01:03:27Oh!
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:29Dude, suck it!
01:03:30What the?
01:03:31God, I'm out of here!
01:03:33Yeah!
01:03:34He has good hair, though.
01:03:39Don't you puke on me.
01:03:41Don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:43Right, set, break, dot.
01:03:45I might need a vacation.
01:03:48Vacation, vacation.
01:03:51Take this information through your head.
01:03:55Oh, Sue, are you alright?
01:03:59Was it from sex?
01:04:00Did you pop your cork?
01:04:01I don't think so.
01:04:02Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:04Oh, don't ask.
01:04:06Every possible object.
01:04:08It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:10It was like...
01:04:11Transformers.
01:04:12They just all became vibrators.
01:04:14Ha!
01:04:15I told you.
01:04:16It's addicting.
01:04:19So, what about Chris?
01:04:20Well, last time I saw him,
01:04:21he was running away through your life.
01:04:23I told you he was gay.
01:04:24Yeah.
01:04:25Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:26Oh.
01:04:27Cramp.
01:04:29Oh.
01:04:30Oh.
01:04:31I think it's broken.
01:04:32So, wait.
01:04:33None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:36Ha!
01:04:37Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:41So, I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:44Wanna go?
01:04:45No.
01:04:47I think I should finish up here.
01:04:49Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I don't know.
01:04:54For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:58Or something.
01:04:59Why?
01:05:00Do you know him?
01:05:01Sort of.
01:05:02Oh.
01:05:03Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:04just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:06Love him.
01:05:13Shut it.
01:05:14You wanna do it with him?
01:05:15I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:16You wanna get married?
01:05:17You wanna do it?
01:05:18I've heard.
01:05:19I've heard.
01:05:20I've heard.
01:05:36You wanna do it with him.
01:05:37You wanna do it with him.
01:05:38You wanna do it with him?
01:05:39You wanna do it with him?
01:05:40You'll get married, too.
01:05:41You wanna do it with him?
01:05:42Oh, no.
01:05:45No way.
01:05:46Oh well.
01:05:49Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:06:19It's you.
01:06:26I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:30Juliana.
01:07:33Wow.
01:07:35That's amazing.
01:07:37Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:40I guess something inspired me.
01:07:44You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:47Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:52Whose?
01:07:53Eric's.
01:07:54Well, it's him, right?
01:07:57Oh.
01:07:59Yeah.
01:08:01I have to go see him.
01:08:06Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:10One-nine-hundred confess.
01:08:22Sister Terese?
01:08:23Yeah, hon.
01:08:25There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:27I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:29Oh, sure.
01:08:30It's two-seven-one.
01:08:32Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:38Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:42Take you back?
01:08:44Sure, hon.
01:08:45Why not?
01:08:46As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:49Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:52I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:56Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:00Sister?
01:09:01Can I get up now?
01:09:03I really gotta pee.
01:09:05No!
01:09:06Hush your trap!
01:09:07Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:12I will.
01:09:13Thanks.
01:09:14Sister?
01:09:15Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:19Eric, wait.
01:09:20Cheryl?
01:09:21Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you, at the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:09:53I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:57The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:00Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:05And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:08I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:11and he's all over these pink characters.
01:10:13Eric!
01:10:14Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:16Oh, wow.
01:10:19Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina. Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:23Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:26Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days,
01:10:33when I get back?
01:10:35Yeah, sure.
01:10:41Oh, sorry, no kissing, right.
01:10:44No, kissing.
01:10:45Oh.
01:10:46Mmm.
01:10:48Mmm.
01:10:49Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:06I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:10Wait, what? I never did that.
01:11:12I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:14She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:21She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:23I wonder who it was.
01:11:25I wonder who it was.
01:11:45At least this birthday's over.
01:11:55Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:00I mean, if you could just...
01:12:02I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:12:05.
01:12:14.
01:12:18.
01:12:23Excuse me, excuse me, do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:40Yeah, that's the church I go to, or used to go to. It's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:47Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:53Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:02Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:05Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:12I don't think so. But thanks.
01:13:16What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:13:19Jesus.
01:13:21Really?
01:13:23Si.
01:13:25Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:42You're far away.
01:13:45Oh, no.
01:13:47Oh, no.
01:13:49Oh, no.
01:13:51Oh, no.
01:14:00Oh.
01:14:01Oh, no.
01:14:02Oh, no.