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Transcript

00:00:00Oh, Dad.

00:00:24Hello?

00:00:26Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.

00:00:28I mean, it's only two days away,

00:00:30and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.

00:00:33So I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to.

00:00:37Me too.

00:00:38I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.

00:00:42I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.

00:00:45I'm going to lose my virginity to him.

00:00:47You know, I want to surprise him.

00:00:49What?

00:00:50But you can't.

00:00:51I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.

00:00:54Besides, you can't do that to us.

00:00:56You can't break tradition that way.

00:00:58This is bad.

00:01:01You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.

00:01:02She's going to be very unhappy about this.

00:01:11Come on, Lexi.

00:01:12So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?

00:01:27Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.

00:01:32But this is the big 1-8.

00:01:35I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital,

00:01:37we've done something new and special.

00:01:39But this has to be newer and more special.

00:01:42So what's something we've never done before?

00:01:45Mushrooms?

00:01:46No, not like that.

00:01:48Like something nice.

00:01:50Like maybe a trip.

00:01:51Like a mushroom trip?

00:01:53No.

00:01:56Sorry, Sue.

00:01:56I have a date.

00:01:58So do I.

00:02:00Sorry, Sue.

00:02:01Don't worry, Sue.

00:02:02We'll figure it out.

00:02:03Oh, flowers, are these from you?

00:02:16Yeah, sure.

00:02:18Here you go.

00:02:20No card, but I thought I saw one.

00:02:23I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.

00:02:25I guess, um, you still make me nervous.

00:02:31Oh, Jake.

00:02:36Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.

00:02:39Uh, no, Jake, not yet.

00:02:40When we do it, I want it to be really special.

00:02:43The best night of my life.

00:02:44It will be, I promise.

00:02:47It'll always be amazing with you and me together.

00:02:55Jake, no, I have to go.

00:03:00I have to work on my art project.

00:03:02You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,

00:03:05but I guess I should have taken more math.

00:03:09Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?

00:03:11This Saturday?

00:03:12Of course.

00:03:17Thanks.

00:03:19Okay, bye.

00:03:25Oh, baby, you're so hot.

00:03:33I'm going to do you so good.

00:03:35Oh, yeah, baby.

00:03:36What was your name again?

00:03:37Rod.

00:03:38Sex God.

00:03:44Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.

00:03:48Yeah, right, I bet.

00:03:55Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?

00:03:59Oh, no.

00:04:00Does not compute.

00:04:02Want to talk in person ASAP.

00:04:07Oh, huh.

00:04:08Hi.

00:04:11When did you go home?

00:04:12So is it true?

00:04:13Yes, it is.

00:04:15It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.

00:04:19I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,

00:04:24and he has a really bright future ahead of him.

00:04:26So I just think it's the right time.

00:04:29Lexi, tell her.

00:04:30Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.

00:04:34On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.

00:04:36Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,

00:04:38or maybe even, like, our 29th.

00:04:41Eight.

00:04:42Maybe.

00:04:43Listen, guys, I'm, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:04:51I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.

00:05:00But Cheryl, Sue is right.

00:05:02We do always do something special on our birthday.

00:05:06Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?

00:05:09It's not Jake.

00:05:11It's the male ideal.

00:05:13Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.

00:05:17Right.

00:05:19Yeah, I guess you're right.

00:05:21I mean, it kind of sucks.

00:05:22I'm not really an artist.

00:05:23Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?

00:05:26The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.

00:05:29And I'm just not ready yet.

00:05:31I'm waiting for a sign.

00:05:33And then I'll know it's right.

00:05:34Look, I can go either way.

00:05:37I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.

00:05:41I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.

00:05:44Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.

00:05:48But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.

00:05:53You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.

00:05:56Where are you going?

00:06:00It's 6.30 in the morning.

00:06:02To church.

00:06:03To pray for you.

00:06:04I want to be first in line.

00:06:07I'm getting this in sleep.

00:06:08Yeah, me too.

00:06:09Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

00:06:20It has been four days since my last confession.

00:06:22I accuse myself of the following sins.

00:06:24Mm-hmm.

00:06:27Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...

00:06:30It's about sex.

00:06:32Mm-hmm.

00:06:35I mean, not me.

00:06:36I've never gone past second base with a guy.

00:06:38Aw.

00:06:40I've never even seen a guy's...

00:06:42Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.

00:06:45But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.

00:06:49But there was nothing there.

00:06:53Okay, so it's about my friends.

00:06:55My best friends.

00:06:57They're going to do something really bad this weekend.

00:06:59Okay.

00:07:01Third base.

00:07:02What?

00:07:03No.

00:07:04Like, sex.

00:07:05Like, intercourse.

00:07:07With boys, they barely even know.

00:07:09I mean, they really need us intervention.

00:07:10If you know what I mean.

00:07:12All the way.

00:07:13Go all the way.

00:07:15Woody.

00:07:15What?

00:07:16What?

00:07:18Ah!

00:07:20How could you do so?

00:07:22You're a bad, bad person.

00:07:26What?

00:07:27Yes.

00:07:33Yes.

00:07:35Run.

00:07:36Home run.

00:07:38Ah.

00:07:39Damn it.

00:07:41Oh, fucking Yankees.

00:07:44Sorry.

00:07:45Sorry.

00:07:45Sue, it is 1 p.m.

00:08:10Would you have a little consideration?

00:08:11I'm trying to sleep.

00:08:12Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?

00:08:17I have an announcement to make.

00:08:19I want to do it.

00:08:21Do you hear me?

00:08:22I want to do it.

00:08:24This weekend.

00:08:25On our birthday.

00:08:27Do what?

00:08:29It.

00:08:30Screw.

00:08:31You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.

00:08:34You know, shagging.

00:08:36Fucking.

00:08:39You do.

00:08:39Uh, but what about all your religious stuff?

00:08:43And, um, what about your sign from heaven?

00:08:45Oh, I got a sign.

00:08:46At church.

00:08:47Really?

00:08:49Well.

00:08:50Okay, great.

00:08:52We're all in then.

00:08:53So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.

00:08:57Right?

00:08:58Right.

00:09:01I'll start making the shopping list.

00:09:02Hey, Frank.

00:09:12Hi, Sue.

00:09:14Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.

00:09:17I don't know.

00:09:17Do you think he'd even have fun?

00:09:19Yeah, he's blind.

00:09:20Blind people can do everything regular people can do.

00:09:27Wait, wait, bye.

00:09:29Hey.

00:09:29Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.

00:09:34It's for our birthdays.

00:09:35Do you want to come?

00:09:36Do you think he can see at me short?

00:09:49Well, the house looks done.

00:09:52Tomorrow's a big day.

00:09:54We finally turn 18.

00:09:55And finally lose our virginity.

00:09:57Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.

00:10:01So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with.

00:10:04Jake.

00:10:04And I'll probably do that guy Rod.

00:10:06But Sue, who are you going to pick?

00:10:08To pop your chair.

00:10:09It's easy.

00:10:10I've known for the past six years, ever since catty kissing.

00:10:16What the fuck is a cataclysm?

00:10:17I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.

00:10:19Yeah.

00:10:20My soulmate.

00:10:32Chris?

00:10:33Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.

00:10:38I mean...

00:10:38What?

00:10:38No.

00:10:39Chris is perfect.

00:10:40He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.

00:10:43Plus, his name's Chris.

00:10:44It's a sign.

00:10:45Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.

00:10:51What?

00:10:52He does not.

00:10:53Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.

00:10:55He looks just like Justin Bieber.

00:10:57With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.

00:11:01Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?

00:11:04Look, Chris is my soulmate.

00:11:06Okay, well, sweet dreams.

00:11:09See you in the morning.

00:11:10See you in the morning.

00:11:15I knew it would happen someday.

00:11:18I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

00:11:20I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

00:11:45You're so perfect.

00:11:51You're so perfect.

00:12:15Too bad no one could ever compare to you.

00:12:45Tomorrow's the day.

00:12:59Tomorrow's the day.

00:13:15Oh, my gosh.

00:13:22They're coming.

00:13:23Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.

00:13:28Ew, why?

00:13:30It's for Jake to unwrap me.

00:13:31It's going to be really sexy.

00:13:33I'm going to suck.

00:13:34You're going to die of asphyxiation.

00:13:36He's going to be really sexy.

00:13:38It's stupid.

00:13:39Just screw him.

00:13:40That's what he wants.

00:13:41That's what all guys want.

00:13:42Who hurt you as a child?

00:13:44Oh, Christ.

00:13:45I don't have your mouth, too.

00:13:47Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.

00:13:52You're an idiot.

00:13:53A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.

00:13:58Guys, seriously, come on.

00:13:59Hurry up.

00:13:59Oh, what a cool bracelet.

00:14:06I love it.

00:14:09You should put that down, though, because it's like, it's really...

00:14:11It's very fragile.

00:14:12Yeah.

00:14:13Okay.

00:14:13Set it down.

00:14:15Hurry up.

00:14:18Those are your anal beats, right?

00:14:19Yeah.

00:14:20I thought so.

00:14:29Oh, this part of the house!

00:14:41Whoa!

00:14:44Oh, we're going to have some fun.

00:14:45Oh, Attack of the Wet T-shirts.

00:14:47Nice!

00:14:48Ha, ha, ha!

00:14:49Let's do this, please.

00:14:50Come on.

00:14:52Ah, check, check, check, check, check.

00:14:57Happy birthday, Lex!

00:14:59Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.

00:15:03That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.

00:15:07And the other one is edible massage oil.

00:15:10Oh, how did you know?

00:15:11I mean, I'm going to use both of these tonight.

00:15:13You can.

00:15:19Poster, how's your cutie?

00:15:22Please don't touch my service time.

00:15:24All right, sorry.

00:15:25Are you okay, man?

00:15:26Yeah, I'm fine.

00:15:27Okay, see you later.

00:15:28Bye.

00:15:29I can't believe you haven't heard of it.

00:15:33This is great.

00:15:33Oh, my God.

00:15:34Jake!

00:15:35Hi!

00:15:36Hey, Ben.

00:15:38Happy birthday.

00:15:40Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.

00:15:43What?

00:15:44You want a beer?

00:15:48No.

00:15:52Oh, hon.

00:15:52Come here.

00:15:53I have your present here.

00:15:57I'll give it to you later when the time's right.

00:16:00Oh, he didn't have to give me anything.

00:16:04And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.

00:16:09Hey, Ralph.

00:16:11We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.

00:16:13All right, this is my man right here.

00:16:20Hey.

00:16:21How you doing?

00:16:22Hey.

00:16:22Check it out.

00:16:34Dare me.

00:16:34Oh, dude.

00:16:35Look at those.

00:16:36Are those real?

00:16:53I don't...

00:16:53Have you guys seen Cheryl?

00:16:54Hey!

00:16:55Ah, dude, move!

00:16:56Come on.

00:16:56Lame!

00:16:57Oh, all right.

00:16:58Okay.

00:16:59I'll see you guys later.

00:17:00Go do some push-ups or something.

00:17:01Aw, the move!

00:17:0220 bucks says, by the end of the day, I will be motorboating those titties.

00:17:06Yeah!

00:17:08They're fake anyways.

00:17:09Who cares?

00:17:11Okay.

00:17:13Ooh, titty.

00:17:14Oh, dude, dude.

00:17:16I'm blind, you fucking asshole.

00:17:21Sue, no, it's your birthday.

00:17:23Here, let me.

00:17:24Joanna, no.

00:17:24Just go enjoy the party.

00:17:25Come on.

00:17:28Open.

00:17:31Hey.

00:17:32Do my lips look any plumper?

00:17:34I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.

00:17:38Have you guys seen Jake?

00:17:39I haven't seen him anywhere.

00:17:40He just, like, disappeared.

00:17:53Are these real?

00:17:54Of course they are.

00:17:56How come I haven't met you before?

00:17:59I don't know.

00:18:00Maybe he's just going to be around.

00:18:01Ryan, have you seen Jake?

00:18:02Um, I think he's around or something.

00:18:05Maybe upstairs.

00:18:06I don't know.

00:18:08Maybe I want to go get my birthday present.

00:18:10That's probably where he went.

00:18:13Go roll.

00:18:13Liquid Courage?

00:18:17Yeah.

00:18:18Atta girl.

00:18:22Vodka, cranberry?

00:18:23It's really simple.

00:18:26Well, I guess it's now or never.

00:18:28I can go meet her.

00:18:30Sue?

00:18:31Are you okay?

00:18:32Sue?

00:18:33Relax.

00:18:35They're just eyes.

00:18:37Okay.

00:18:37Nothing to be scared of.

00:18:38Seriously.

00:18:39You're going to be fine.

00:18:40Is Chris here?

00:18:40Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?

00:18:49No, he does not have gateways.

00:18:51I'm going to prove it to you.

00:18:53I'm going to do it.

00:18:54I'm going to do this.

00:19:09Go back.

00:19:12Hey, you can do this.

00:19:14Just act like a slut.

00:19:18Just pretend you're Lexi.

00:19:24Yeah, my favorite chapter of song is War.

00:19:30Chris, hi.

00:19:33Can I talk to you?

00:19:35Uh-huh.

00:19:36Um, in private?

00:19:38No.

00:19:51Oh, hey, Lexi.

00:19:52Hey, Lexi.

00:19:53What?

00:19:54Chris.

00:19:56You're so sexy.

00:19:59Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.

00:20:05And I really want to...

00:20:08Oh, what are you doing?

00:20:10Is that wrong?

00:20:11Sue, what's gotten into you?

00:20:13Nothing.

00:20:13I'm sorry.

00:20:14I don't know how to do this.

00:20:15I don't know how to do this.

00:20:15Sue.

00:20:18Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue.

00:20:21I understand these urges.

00:20:25And, you know, I like you too.

00:20:28Really?

00:20:29You do?

00:20:30I do.

00:20:31I really do.

00:20:33I like you too.

00:20:35Really?

00:20:36You do?

00:20:37I do.

00:20:38I really do.

00:20:39It's just...

00:20:40I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.

00:20:46Right.

00:20:47Lexi said you were...

00:20:48Jesus.

00:20:49Oh, that man.

00:20:51Of course.

00:20:52What did you think?

00:20:54Oh, nothing.

00:20:55So we can still do this one?

00:20:58Oh, Sue.

00:20:59You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about

00:21:09him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed

00:21:21over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, beneath

00:21:32that hot, hot sun, I just feel such compassion.

00:21:38I think about those things, too.

00:21:40So you understand why I can't do this?

00:21:44Not really.

00:21:45I just find it too hard, it is, to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much

00:21:54for us, so...

00:21:57We're going to go out there, right?

00:22:07Andy, we're going to tell you, throw these on.

00:22:09Hey, Ty.

00:22:10Whoa!

00:22:12Have you seen Jake?

00:22:13Uh, no, no.

00:22:15All right.

00:22:19Okay.

00:22:19All right, focus, focus, focus.

00:22:27Oh, there he is.

00:22:31Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.

00:22:40Oh, oh!

00:22:43How could he?

00:22:50Sue, what happened?

00:22:52Did you guys do it?

00:22:54Sue?

00:22:55He doesn't want me.

00:22:57Because he's gay.

00:22:58No, he's not.

00:22:59He just really loves Jesus.

00:23:01Oh, come on, Sue.

00:23:03The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for

00:23:07you.

00:23:08Look, the only way you were going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know

00:23:13what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.

00:23:17What?

00:23:18Come with me.

00:23:20Where?

00:23:20To meet your dark side.

00:23:29Out.

00:23:30Everyone out.

00:23:31Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.

00:23:44I really can't.

00:23:56I really don't think I can do this.

00:23:59I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:04I'm not letting you out until you look.

00:24:09Sue?

00:24:10Can you see it?

00:24:13Sue.

00:24:17I'm almost...

00:24:19I'm almost there.

00:24:23Oh!

00:24:25What?

00:24:27What?

00:24:27Sue, what happened?

00:24:28What did you see?

00:24:30A raccoon?

00:24:31What?

00:24:33You overshot it.

00:24:34Aim the mirror further up.

00:24:40I can't.

00:24:43Please don't make me do that again.

00:24:45Okay, fine.

00:24:46Fine.

00:24:47I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.

00:24:50What?

00:24:51You really need an orgasm.

00:24:54Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've

00:24:57never even had it with yourself.

00:24:59This really has to be your first step.

00:25:01Lex, I'm waiting.

00:25:03Coming.

00:25:04Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.

00:25:06Just find it and use it.

00:25:08Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?

00:25:11It's black.

00:25:12It vibrates.

00:25:15Come on, Rod.

00:25:16Let's go to Sue's room.

00:25:19And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.

00:25:21Hey, cutie!

00:25:34Cutie!

00:25:39Boom side!

00:25:40Oh, yeah!

00:25:44Bang.

00:25:46Bang.

00:25:47Bang.

00:25:49Good boy.

00:25:50Straighten up.

00:25:50Good boy.

00:25:52Good boy.

00:25:54He knows over a hundred commands.

00:25:57I'm sorry I can't see anything.

00:25:59That is not funny, Cheryl.

00:26:01What a bitch.

00:26:03Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.

00:26:05Ah!

00:26:06Ah!

00:26:07Ah!

00:26:08Ah!

00:26:09Ah!

00:26:10Ah!

00:26:11Ah!

00:26:12Ah!

00:26:13Ah!

00:26:14Ah!

00:26:15Ah!

00:26:16Ah!

00:26:17Ah!

00:26:18Ah!

00:26:19Ah!

00:26:20Ah!

00:26:21Ah!

00:26:22Ah!

00:26:23Ah!

00:26:24Ah!

00:26:25Ah!

00:26:26Ah!

00:26:27Ah!

00:26:28Ah!

00:26:29Ah!

00:26:30Ah!

00:26:31Ah!

00:26:32Ah!

00:26:33Ah!

00:26:34Ah!

00:26:35Ah!

00:26:36Ah!

00:26:37Ah!

00:26:38Ah!

00:26:39Ah!

00:26:40Ah!

00:26:41Ah!

00:26:42Ah!

00:26:43Ah!

00:26:44Ah!

00:26:45Ah!

00:26:46Ah!

00:26:47Ah!

00:26:48What is wrong?

00:26:59Lexi, it's Jake.

00:27:02He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.

00:27:05For sure?

00:27:06I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.

00:27:10That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?

00:27:14No, it's awful.

00:27:15I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.

00:27:19It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.

00:27:26Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.

00:27:32Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.

00:27:35No, you can't just leave.

00:27:37Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.

00:27:42No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.

00:27:45Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.

00:27:48I'm leaving.

00:27:51Revenge sex.

00:27:52Re-I mean, what? What does that even mean?

00:27:54It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.

00:28:01Revenge sex.

00:28:03Re-I mean, what? What does that even mean?

00:28:04It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.

00:28:08But he, I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would, he's just into other girls.

00:28:15Trust me, he'll care. Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him. Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.

00:28:28No, I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's, there's no one smarter and better looking.

00:28:35Eric. Eric. He's perfect.

00:28:38Eric Hall? Are you kidding? I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.

00:28:44Really? And what type is that?

00:28:46Slutty.

00:28:48Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.

00:28:53Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.

00:28:57Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't. Fooled around with.

00:29:06Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.

00:29:11No, I just couldn't do it.

00:29:13Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing, to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage,

00:29:21and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence, and you chose not to do it, go ahead.

00:29:26But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.

00:29:30I don't know.

00:29:33But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.

00:29:37I don't know.

00:29:39Trust me. It's going to work.

00:29:41Okay.

00:29:41I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.

00:29:50Hi, Cheryl.

00:29:51Okay, enough to chat with you.

00:29:53Oh, no.

00:30:05Hey.

00:30:06Happy birthday.

00:30:09Thanks.

00:30:11Have you guys seen Jake?

00:30:36So, happy birthday.

00:30:40Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?

00:30:46But it's actually from us.

00:30:47U.S.

00:30:49America?

00:30:51United States?

00:30:53I know where we live.

00:30:54Right.

00:30:55Of course.

00:30:59I know where we live.

00:31:01Right.

00:31:02Of course.

00:31:03Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?

00:31:10Oh, you want me to move?

00:31:11Yeah, no, I can totally move.

00:31:12I just...

00:31:13No, you're fine.

00:31:14No, you're going to make your move or not.

00:31:26Jake!

00:31:29So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?

00:31:31Oh, I'm sorry.

00:31:33It?

00:31:34What?

00:31:34It.

00:31:35Like monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.

00:31:42Oh.

00:31:43Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?

00:31:47I mean, well, yeah.

00:31:49You know, the sooner the better.

00:31:50Yeah, sure.

00:31:53I mean, well, yeah, of course.

00:31:54Um, I just never realized that you...

00:31:57I mean...

00:31:59Whew.

00:32:01Uh...

00:32:01It's just...

00:32:04You're so...

00:32:07You're so beautiful.

00:32:09Okay.

00:32:09Um...

00:32:09Hmm?

00:32:11Uh, no kissing.

00:32:13Right.

00:32:14Um, of course.

00:32:16Sorry?

00:32:19So, um...

00:32:20Do you want to unwrap me?

00:32:24Oh, wow.

00:32:24Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.

00:32:29Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:31You, uh, you're fresh.

00:32:35Now that you're left over, you're not.

00:32:37You, uh, you're fresh.

00:32:40Organic.

00:32:41Yep.

00:32:44So, the wrap.

00:32:45Right.

00:32:46Um...

00:32:47Well, where's the, uh...

00:32:49It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.

00:32:52Oh, oh, yeah.

00:32:52Here it is.

00:32:52Yeah.

00:32:53It's where I see it.

00:32:54Um, let me just, uh...

00:32:55Ow, ow, ow.

00:32:58Oh, sorry.

00:32:58Sorry, sorry.

00:32:59I, um...

00:33:00It's...

00:33:00It's okay.

00:33:01Here.

00:33:02Do it again.

00:33:04Sorry.

00:33:04I, uh...

00:33:05I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.

00:33:07You know what?

00:33:08Let me just lay on the bed.

00:33:09Let me just see.

00:33:19Oh, here it is.

00:33:20I got it.

00:33:21All right.

00:33:21Just, um, pull it.

00:33:23Let me just...

00:33:23Oh, jeez.

00:33:28Uh, Cheryl, are you...

00:33:28Are you okay?

00:33:30Help!

00:33:31Uh...

00:33:32Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?

00:33:35Oh, jeez.

00:33:38Well, that was stupid.

00:33:47Yeah.

00:33:53How you doing tonight?

00:33:55Having a good time?

00:33:56Yeah?

00:33:57You good?

00:33:57Jake!

00:33:58I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.

00:34:01What?

00:34:02I can't hear you.

00:34:04I didn't have a beer.

00:34:06Chips are so damn salty.

00:34:07Jake!

00:34:07So are you with...

00:34:08Upstairs.

00:34:10Yeah.

00:34:11Hold on.

00:34:12Take a piss.

00:34:13How much beer?

00:34:14Oh.

00:34:15Oh.

00:34:16Oh.

00:34:17Oh.

00:34:18Oh.

00:34:19Oh.

00:34:20Oh.

00:34:21Oh.

00:34:22Oh.

00:34:23Oh.

00:34:24Oh.

00:34:25Oh.

00:34:26Oh.

00:34:27Oh.

00:34:28Oh.

00:34:29Oh.

00:34:30Oh.

00:34:31Oh.

00:34:32Oh.

00:34:33Oh.

00:34:34Oh.

00:34:35Oh.

00:34:36Oh.

00:34:37Oh.

00:34:47Oh.

00:34:48Oh.

00:34:49Oh.

00:34:50What?

00:34:51I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:34:55Oh.

00:34:57Well, OK.

00:34:58OK.

00:35:12Finally.

00:35:14I, uh, let me just get the blinds.

00:35:17Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:35:19Don't worry about it.

00:35:20What?

00:35:22I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.

00:35:26Oh.

00:35:28Well, OK.

00:35:29OK.

00:35:49What are you doing?

00:35:50Uh.

00:35:50I think it's time.

00:35:52Uh.

00:35:53I think it's time.

00:35:55You know, to do it.

00:35:58what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh

00:36:28it's so good oh yep oh my god draw draw draw what what what ah ah ah ah lock jaw lock jaw is that even a

00:36:48thing i don't know ah are you okay no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just uh embarrassed i it's

00:37:02probably tmj or fracture or swollen you sure you're okay yeah yeah okay great have fun

00:37:12oh now now let's do it now no not yet not yet

00:37:24all right i'm gonna come i'm gonna come

00:37:26not yet no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no not yet lexi

00:37:38oh no means no oh i'm so sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry it's been a really long time and i just i

00:37:47I haven't masturbated for her or anything.

00:37:52Uh-oh.

00:37:55Oh, hey, Jake.

00:37:58How are you doing?

00:38:00How's it going?

00:38:01Good.

00:38:02Eric?

00:38:03Eric, help me.

00:38:05I'm glad I can't see anything.

00:38:07Excuse me.

00:38:12Cheryl's in here.

00:38:17What's up, bro?

00:38:19What the fuck is...

00:38:21Hey, wait!

00:38:24Lex, babe, still waiting.

00:38:32Oh, I'm sorry.

00:38:33I can't see.

00:38:34I'm blind.

00:38:36Damn it.

00:38:38I'm going to save somebody to that bitch.

00:38:40Hey, you.

00:38:42You better stop making fun of the blind

00:38:44or I'm going to teach you a lesson.

00:38:45I'm so sorry.

00:38:50I'll never make fun of the blind again.

00:38:52Oh, man, no more water balloons.

00:39:18This party's ass.

00:39:22Yeah!

00:39:27This just isn't working.

00:39:30Nothing.

00:39:31What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?

00:39:35Lock your character, man.

00:39:37Lock sticks.

00:39:38Spark it up.

00:39:39Yes!

00:39:43Oh, man!

00:39:44I love this game!

00:39:46We're in the controllers.

00:39:47We gotta play.

00:39:48Here, here, here.

00:39:49Okay, let me find another one.

00:39:52Whoa!

00:39:54Look at this!

00:39:55Oh, my God!

00:39:57Pew, pew, pew!

00:39:59Get that thing away!

00:40:00Jesus!

00:40:01Oh!

00:40:02Hey, dude, nice shot!

00:40:05Wasn't me!

00:40:06Whoa!

00:40:07Whoa!

00:40:08Whoa!

00:40:09Nice!

00:40:10Hey, dude, nice shot!

00:40:11Wasn't me!

00:40:12Whoa!

00:40:13Whoa!

00:40:14Nice!

00:40:15Are you sitting on there or something?

00:40:16Hey, you found the grenade launcher!

00:40:18Nice!

00:40:19Nice!

00:40:20Nice!

00:40:21Nice!

00:40:22Nice!

00:40:23Do you have the extra controller?

00:40:25Whoa!

00:40:26Whoa!

00:40:27You are the controller!

00:40:28No, I just...

00:40:30I didn't...

00:40:31I swear...

00:40:32I...

00:40:33...I swear...

00:40:34Do you have the extra controller?

00:40:48Whoa!

00:40:50You are the controller.

00:40:52No, I just, I didn't, I swear, I.

00:41:04All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

00:41:07Hey, hey, Sue.

00:41:08No, it's all right.

00:41:09What's going on, man?

00:41:12It's all right, um, hey, Sue.

00:41:25Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?

00:41:26Yeah, I just needed to, um.

00:41:29Oh, sure.

00:41:30Uh, listen, Sue, I, I was rethinking what I said earlier.

00:41:36You were?

00:41:38You mean?

00:41:40Y-yeah.

00:41:43So you think we should give it a try?

00:41:47Could we go get a drink?

00:41:51Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged.

00:41:55You, you know what, I, I gotta go.

00:41:58Um, happy birthday.

00:41:59Uh, no, Chris, no, there wasn't, I didn't, oh, god, never mind.

00:42:15This is the worst idea ever.

00:42:18Never going to have sex.

00:42:20Ow.

00:42:21Hello, a little attention here.

00:42:43Oh, yeah, sorry.

00:42:44Lex, don't be selfish.

00:42:51Oh, right.

00:42:53Sorry.

00:43:05Ugh, jeez.

00:43:07Who invented this stupid position, anyway?

00:43:10Too much fucking multitasking.

00:43:13Screw it.

00:43:13Let's do it.

00:43:43Oh no, that was bad, that was so bad.

00:43:58Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?

00:44:12I think that guy's name starts with a J.

00:44:19Hey, does your name start with a J?

00:44:23Yes, it does.

00:44:25So, you're JJ?

00:44:27Uh-oh.

00:44:42Hello, welcome to 1-900 Confess.

00:44:53Would you like a priest or a nun today?

00:44:55A nun.

00:44:56Please punch in your credit card number.

00:45:03Please hold.

00:45:04Oh, thank goodness.

00:45:081-900 Confession, how may I be of service?

00:45:11It's been one day since my last confession.

00:45:14I accuse myself of the following sins.

00:45:16One day?

00:45:18Ow!

00:45:20Is that too long?

00:45:25I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.

00:45:28Go on.

00:45:29Uh, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.

00:45:33Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.

00:45:36What's her problem?

00:45:37A washing machine touched her.

00:45:40Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well.

00:45:44All right, freak.

00:45:45Time's up.

00:45:46What?

00:45:47But what do I do?

00:45:48Just unplug the thing.

00:45:49No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.

00:45:52Well, then be happy.

00:45:54You found the perfect man.

00:45:56I'm serious.

00:45:57Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so I'll tell you this.

00:46:02Masturbation isn't a sin.

00:46:05No contritions?

00:46:07You broke no covenant with God.

00:46:09It's not in the Bible.

00:46:11So the washing machine could touch me anytime?

00:46:14Like morning, afternoon, night?

00:46:17Yes, and other things can touch you.

00:46:20Accidental masturbation is not a sin.

00:46:22Neither is intentional masturbation.

00:46:25Huh.

00:46:26God's pretty cool that way.

00:46:28He sure is.

00:46:29Now run along.

00:46:31Wow.

00:46:35How do you know all that?

00:46:37Because I'm a nun.

00:46:39Now eat my pussy, bitch.

00:46:41Huh.

00:46:42Accidental masturbation.

00:46:44Who'da think?

00:46:54Revenge sex.

00:46:55What a stupid fucking idea.

00:46:57God, I'm getting out of here.

00:47:01Yeah, admit it.

00:47:02I've got no game.

00:47:03I guess I just get away, I guess.

00:47:05I'm a beautiful man.

00:47:09Fucking douchebag.

00:47:11Damn it.

00:47:13I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.

00:47:16You go, girl.

00:47:17What?

00:47:18What?

00:47:20What are you doing here?

00:47:22We needed someplace private.

00:47:24But hey, listen.

00:47:25If you're serious about getting laid.

00:47:27Yeah?

00:47:28If you want someone great.

00:47:29I mean, really, the best ever.

00:47:32No offense.

00:47:34Frank.

00:47:35The blind guy?

00:47:37Really?

00:47:38I'm telling you, he's amazing.

00:47:41I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.

00:47:43It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.

00:47:46It was like we used all our senses.

00:47:49Everything.

00:47:51If you're interested, I'll set it up.

00:47:56All right.

00:48:03What about him?

00:48:05Jeremy.

00:48:06Yeah, I know Jeremy.

00:48:08I think I fooled around with him once.

00:48:10I didn't know his last name, though.

00:48:13It's Jones.

00:48:14Jeremy Jones.

00:48:16This all makes sense.

00:48:18Excuse me.

00:48:19Jeremy.

00:48:20Jeremy.

00:48:21Hi.

00:48:22Hey.

00:48:23Who's on the phone?

00:48:24Oh, that's my new girlfriend.

00:48:26You'll meet her.

00:48:27She'll be here in like an hour.

00:48:28Wait.

00:48:29You have a girlfriend?

00:48:43Oh.

00:48:44Hey, Frank.

00:48:45Sit.

00:48:50Oh, you met...

00:48:51You met the dog.

00:48:52Relax.

00:48:53You need to relax and calm down.

00:48:57Oh, I'm relaxed.

00:48:58I'm fine.

00:48:59Why are you biting your nail?

00:49:00I'm not.

00:49:01How did you know that?

00:49:02Corner.

00:49:03Sit.

00:49:04Roll over.

00:49:05Roll over.

00:49:06Oh, you mean me.

00:49:07Roll over.

00:49:08Oh, you mean me.

00:49:09Roll over.

00:49:10Oh, you mean me.

00:49:11Why are you biting your nail?

00:49:13I'm not.

00:49:16How did you know that?

00:49:20Corner.

00:49:24Sit.

00:49:27Roll over.

00:49:30Oh, you mean me?

00:49:34Roll over.

00:49:37Oh, you mean me?

00:49:39Oh, how do you...

00:49:41How do you want me to...

00:49:42Just lay down.

00:49:50Oh, oh.

00:49:55I shouldn't even be doing this, but...

00:49:58considering it a teachable moment.

00:50:00Okay.

00:50:03Oh.

00:50:06See me with your hands.

00:50:08Okay.

00:50:11All right.

00:50:12Uh...

00:50:13You know, I should really...

00:50:21I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.

00:50:23Really.

00:50:27Oh.

00:50:27Mm, peanut butter.

00:50:37Mm, peanut butter.

00:50:51Frank, Frank.

00:50:53Oh.

00:50:54Oh.

00:50:57Oh, Frank.

00:50:58You know what, man?

00:51:23Look, give me a chip.

00:51:25My chips, old boy.

00:51:26Look, give me a chip, man.

00:51:27My chips.

00:51:28Oh, my chip?

00:51:29Give me a chip.

00:51:31My chips?

00:51:33Guys, why are you making such a mess?

00:51:36Sorry.

00:51:44It's just a case of accidental masturbation.

00:51:47That's all.

00:51:52No, let me do this.

00:51:53Go ahead.

00:51:54I got it.

00:51:54No, really, please.

00:51:55I want to help.

00:51:56Okay, everybody out.

00:52:02Leave.

00:52:02I have to back you.

00:52:16You're not even getting the chips.

00:52:17They're over here.

00:52:19I see some dust over here, so...

00:52:23It's just so much dust on this floor.

00:52:28It's a dirty floor.

00:52:30Such a dirty, dirty floor.

00:52:35I think I got all of that.

00:52:48I think I got all of that.

00:52:53I'm just going to...

00:52:57I'll see you.

00:52:59Oh.

00:53:09Frankie.

00:53:11Oh, my...

00:53:12Oh.

00:53:12Who's that?

00:53:12What?

00:53:13Oh, my fucking shit.

00:53:16Ow, man.

00:53:16We got to smoke.

00:53:17Oh, we can smoke in here.

00:53:20Stop.

00:53:21Frank.

00:53:21Stop teasing Frank.

00:53:24Oh, shit.

00:53:25Sorry, man.

00:53:26We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.

00:53:28Oh, I heard something.

00:53:29You want to join us?

00:53:30Uh...

00:53:31No, I'm not...

00:53:31Come on!

00:53:32You got to do it!

00:53:33Come on!

00:53:34Seriously, guys.

00:53:35I need to...

00:53:35What's your dog, man?

00:53:36Dude!

00:53:36What's it like being blinded?

00:53:37It's trippy.

00:53:42Frank?

00:53:44Frank, are we going to do something soon?

00:53:48Bro, you are too funny.

00:53:52Thanks, man.

00:53:53Oh, this is some good stuff.

00:53:55I haven't smoked since junior high.

00:53:56Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.

00:53:59Wait, wait, wait.

00:54:01I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.

00:54:05Damn, I really can't remember.

00:54:06This is some good shit.

00:54:25Oh, no.

00:54:27You're the devil.

00:54:28No more.

00:54:31JJ, I...

00:54:33Jeremy, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?

00:54:38Please.

00:54:39Lex, I can't.

00:54:42I mean, I got a girlfriend.

00:54:43I really like this girl.

00:54:45Fine.

00:54:46It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra.

00:54:51And I also have on crotch-less panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.

00:54:59Oh.

00:55:00Oh.

00:55:01Oh.

00:55:05We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.

00:55:07Perfect.

00:55:12Before she gets here.

00:55:13Perfect.

00:55:13Let's do it.

00:55:26Fuck me.

00:55:26Fuck me now.

00:55:31What?

00:55:32What's wrong?

00:55:33I can't get it in.

00:55:35Just try down there.

00:55:38It's like desert down there.

00:55:39It's sandpaper.

00:55:41I just...

00:55:41Okay, I get the picture.

00:55:43Just try it again.

00:55:46No.

00:55:47Why is this happening?

00:55:49We fooled around before.

00:55:51I was dripping wet.

00:55:52I came like four times, remember?

00:55:54Just do what you did then.

00:55:55Go on.

00:55:56I already did my thing.

00:55:57I already tried.

00:55:59What?

00:56:00What is different this time?

00:56:03I don't know.

00:56:04Last time...

00:56:07I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.

00:56:10What?

00:56:12You're not JJ?

00:56:14But your name is Jeremy Jones.

00:56:16How can you not be JJ?

00:56:18Who the hell is this JJ?

00:56:21Where are you going?

00:56:23We're not done here.

00:56:24I can still do this.

00:56:25I just need a little bit of work.

00:56:26I can do this.

00:56:28I don't need JJ.

00:56:29I don't need anyone else.

00:56:30We can do this.

00:56:33Go team.

00:56:37What?

00:56:38Just keep going.

00:56:42Jeremy?

00:56:44Shit.

00:56:44Where's Jeremy?

00:56:55We were just, you know, coming here.

00:57:00Hey, babe.

00:57:01Just working out.

00:57:06How could you, you bastard?

00:57:08You might want to...

00:57:12You might want to...

00:57:12What?

00:57:14What?

00:57:17Ah!

00:57:19Mariela!

00:57:20Mariela!

00:57:21You know, those aren't mine.

00:57:24At least not all of them.

00:57:26What is wrong with you?

00:57:28What is wrong with you?

00:57:34You used to be so pure.

00:57:37Well, no more.

00:57:37That's it.

00:57:39Really, that's the last one.

00:57:40Come on, man.

00:57:52Come on, man.

00:57:52Oh my god.

00:58:10Cheryl?

00:58:14What is it?

00:58:16What are you doing down here?

00:58:18Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out

00:58:20and get far, far away from here?

00:58:22What?

00:58:23Why?

00:58:24Nothing, just this blind guy and his dog and ugh.

00:58:28Honey, it's gonna be okay.

00:58:31No, it's not okay.

00:58:33God.

00:58:35And you know whose fault it is?

00:58:36I'm sorry.

00:58:37It's Jake's.

00:58:38Jake's fault.

00:58:39That blind cheating bastard.

00:58:42Yes.

00:58:43He is such a dickwad, you need to confront him.

00:58:46Yeah.

00:58:47Yeah, I need to confront him.

00:58:48I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?

00:58:51Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?

00:58:53You know, you just call him here

00:58:54and give him a big piece of your mind.

00:58:56Yeah, a big piece.

00:58:57A big old chunk of my mind.

00:59:00A big piece of it.

00:59:00Yeah.

00:59:02You know, you might want to...

00:59:05You need to look hot while you break up with him.

00:59:07Yeah, you're right.

00:59:09Why am I wearing a sheet?

00:59:10Oh.

00:59:11I'm sorry.

00:59:12I'm sorry.

00:59:13I'm so...

00:59:14I get shy around beautiful women like you.

00:59:18I got no game.

00:59:19It's not important.

00:59:20Hey, um...

00:59:21Eric, I can't talk right now.

00:59:34No, no, no.

00:59:35I really need to talk to you.

00:59:38Hey, um...

00:59:45Eric, I can't talk right now.

00:59:47No, no, no, I really need to talk to you.

00:59:49Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...

00:59:51No, no, no, no, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,

00:59:55and I'm just embarrassed, and I want to make it up to you.

00:59:58Eric, really?

00:59:59I don't care, it's fine.

01:00:01No, but I do.

01:00:02I mean, I do.

01:00:03I care.

01:00:05I haven't known how to tell you.

01:00:07Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.

01:00:10But I was wondering, or hoping,

01:00:13that we could go out sometime.

01:00:17Soon.

01:00:18Because I'm going to be leaving for a little while,

01:00:19and it would be nice to go out.

01:00:21Really?

01:00:22Eric, you're shy.

01:00:23You have no game.

01:00:26No, not really.

01:00:29Yeah, no, I can't do this, sorry.

01:00:34Okay, alright.

01:00:35I, uh...

01:00:39Happy birthday, then.

01:00:51I'm sorry, I was trying to kiss you.

01:01:01Wow.

01:01:02Here I come, baby.

01:01:15Get ready for your big birthday surprise.

01:01:20Oh, Eric, stop.

01:01:21Um, we can't do this.

01:01:23Oh, don't.

01:01:23Not again.

01:01:24Oh, no, um...

01:01:25Honey, happy...

01:01:26What the fuck is this?

01:01:30Who the hell are you, dude?

01:01:31Okay, guys, don't.

01:01:36Cheryl.

01:01:37Baby, what is this?

01:01:40Oh, gee, Cheryl.

01:01:42You're...

01:01:42I've been looking for you all night,

01:01:45and you've been...

01:01:46Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.

01:01:48You couldn't find me?

01:01:49What about all those girls' vaginas you were in,

01:01:53or your penis getting sucked?

01:01:55Cheryl, honey.

01:01:56No, no.

01:01:57We can work this out.

01:01:58Baby, I love you.

01:02:00Jake, no, you have to go.

01:02:01Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.

01:02:03I promise.

01:02:04No, Jake, I can't do this.

01:02:05I'm sorry.

01:02:07Cheryl, come on.

01:02:07No, Jake, please.

01:02:09Please, just go.

01:02:09Just go.

01:02:10I'm sorry.

01:02:11You're a harmless bitch!

01:02:13How can you do...

01:02:13You did it.

01:02:16I am so proud of you.

01:02:17You got your revenge sex.

01:02:19You've left him in your shell of a man.

01:02:21Revenge sex?

01:02:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.

01:02:26Right.

01:02:28It all makes sense now.

01:02:31Wow, I feel really stupid.

01:02:34Eric, I'm really...

01:02:35I'm really sorry.

01:02:37Cheryl, I really liked you.

01:02:40And you used me.

01:02:42Eric, please don't go.

01:02:43Please, Eric!

01:02:46Aren't you happy?

01:02:49Well, no, that's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.

01:02:52You mean the sex?

01:02:53Was it?

01:02:54Yeah?

01:02:55No, we didn't quite do it.

01:02:56Oh.

01:02:57You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.

01:02:59Really?

01:02:59I just never found the right guy.

01:03:01Or guys.

01:03:04Anyway, we better get downstairs.

01:03:05People are starting to leave.

01:03:07I wonder how Sue did.

01:03:13I can't believe she dumped me, man.

01:03:21This is bullshit.

01:03:23God!

01:03:24Oh!

01:03:25Oh!

01:03:25Oh, my God!

01:03:26Dude, suck it!

01:03:27What the?

01:03:29God, I'm out of here!

01:03:30Yeah!

01:03:31He has good hair, though.

01:03:32Don't you puke on me.

01:03:39Don't puke on my car, either.

01:03:52Oh, Sue, are you all right?

01:03:56Was it from sex?

01:03:57Did you pop your cork?

01:03:58I don't think so.

01:03:59Not with a guy, anyway.

01:04:02Oh, don't ask.

01:04:03Every possible object.

01:04:05It's like every mechanical thing.

01:04:07It was like transformers.

01:04:09They just all became vibrators.

01:04:11I told you.

01:04:13It's addicting.

01:04:15So what about Chris?

01:04:17Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.

01:04:19I told you he was gay.

01:04:21Oh.

01:04:21Well, I think I'm just all cramp.

01:04:26Oh, I think it's broken.

01:04:28So wait.

01:04:30None of us cashed an RV card.

01:04:36Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.

01:04:39So I was gonna go grab some food.

01:04:41Can I go?

01:04:42No.

01:04:43I think I should finish up here.

01:04:46Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?

01:04:48No.

01:04:50I don't know.

01:04:51For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.

01:04:54Or something.

01:04:56Why?

01:04:56Do you know him?

01:04:58Sort of.

01:04:59Oh.

01:05:00Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.

01:05:10Love him.

01:05:11Shut it.

01:05:11You want to do it?

01:05:12I don't want to hear it from you.

01:05:12I want to get married.

01:05:13You want to do it?

01:05:14All right.

01:05:15All right.

01:05:28All right.

01:05:29Um, no, no way.

01:05:59Oh, well, there's always next year.

01:06:23It's you.

01:06:25I've been waiting for you, JJ.

01:06:55And when the heat is on, you never take it away.

01:07:17Kill me over the floor.

01:07:26And when the heat is on, you never take it away.

01:07:30Wow.

01:07:31That's amazing.

01:07:33Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.

01:07:37I guess something inspired me.

01:07:40You really captured his expression and his eyes.

01:07:44Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.

01:07:49Whose?

01:07:50Eric's.

01:07:51Well, it's him, right?

01:07:54Oh.

01:07:56Yeah.

01:07:57I have to go see him.

01:08:00Well, I think you know what we should do.

01:08:05One nine hundred confess.

01:08:20Sister Terese?

01:08:21Yeah, hon.

01:08:22Um, there was a problem with your credit card.

01:08:24I just need the last three numbers in the back.

01:08:26Oh, sure.

01:08:27It's two seven one.

01:08:29Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?

01:08:36Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?

01:08:40Take you back?

01:08:41Sure, hon.

01:08:42Why not?

01:08:43As long as you're on the right path.

01:08:45Well, how do you know if you're on that path?

01:08:47I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.

01:08:52Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.

01:08:57Sister?

01:08:58Can I get up now?

01:09:00I really gotta pee.

01:09:01No!

01:09:02Hush your trap!

01:09:03Okay, honey.

01:09:04I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.

01:09:06I will.

01:09:07Thanks.

01:09:08Sister?

01:09:09Shut up.

01:09:10Shut up.

01:09:11I will.

01:09:12Thanks.

01:09:14Sister?

01:09:15Shut up.

01:09:16Or I'll punish you hard you shit fucker!

01:09:19Brrrr?

01:09:20Eric, wait!

01:09:22Cheryl?

01:09:23Eric?

01:09:24Um, look I am so sorry about-

01:09:32Eric, wait.

01:09:35Cheryl?

01:09:41Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.

01:09:46I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning,

01:09:49but then at the end, I wasn't.

01:09:52I just didn't want to do that with you.

01:09:55The revenge part, not the sex part.

01:09:58Um, I, I do want to go out with you.

01:10:03And I didn't realize that until this morning.

01:10:06I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,

01:10:09and he's all over these pink hair.

01:10:11Eric!

01:10:12Come on, I gotta get going.

01:10:14Oh, wow.

01:10:16Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.

01:10:19Tina, Cheryl.

01:10:21Hi, nice to meet you.

01:10:24Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?

01:10:31When I get back?

01:10:32Yeah, sure.

01:10:39Oh, sorry.

01:10:41No kissing, right?

01:10:42No, kissing.

01:10:43Oh.

01:10:44Mmm.

01:11:00Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?

01:11:05I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.

01:11:07Wait, what? I never did that.

01:11:09I mean, you don't have to lie about it.

01:11:12She told me all about your pierced tongue.

01:11:14She must have me mixed up with someone else.

01:11:20I wonder who it was.

01:11:23At least this birthday's over.

01:11:44Dear Lord, uh, please forgive me.

01:11:58I mean, if you could just...

01:12:01I don't know, like, send me a sign?

01:12:03...

01:12:07...

01:12:12...

01:12:22...

01:12:25Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Bountain Street.

01:12:39Um, yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. Um, it's straight up that way and then left.

01:12:46Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.

01:12:51Oh, um, I don't know.

01:12:55Well, that's pretty powerful.

01:13:02Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.

01:13:11I don't think so. But thanks.

01:13:14What's your name? Sue. What's yours?

01:13:18Jesus.

01:13:20Really?

01:13:21Si.

01:13:21Maybe I could use a ride.

01:13:25Oh, my God.

Good Girls Gone Wild - LightFrame Stories

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