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00:00:30Hello? Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans. I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate. So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to...
00:00:49Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure. I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake. I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:00What? But you can't. I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:06Besides, you can't do that to us. You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:08Okay. This is bad. You know, I'm going to tell Lexi. She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:22Come on, Lexi.
00:01:23So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:41Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:44But this is the big 1-8. I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special, but this has to be newer and more special. So, what's something we've never done before?
00:01:57Mushrooms?
00:01:58No, not like that. Like something nice. Like maybe a trip.
00:02:02Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:04No.
00:02:04Sorry, Sue. I have a date.
00:02:09Mm. So do I.
00:02:11Sorry, Sue.
00:02:12Don't worry, Sue. We'll figure it out.
00:02:25Oh, flowers. Are these from you?
00:02:27Yeah, sure.
00:02:30Here you go.
00:02:32No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:34I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:02:42Oh, Jake.
00:02:47Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:50Uh, no, Jake. Not yet. When we do it, I want it to be really special. The best night of my life.
00:02:56It will be. I promise. It'll always be amazing. With you and me. Together.
00:03:04Jake, no. I have to go. I have to work on my art project.
00:03:14You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:18Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay? The Saturday?
00:03:24Of course.
00:03:28Thanks.
00:03:30Okay. Bye.
00:03:31Oh, baby. You're so hot. I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:46Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:47Yeah.
00:03:48What was your name again?
00:03:49Rod.
00:03:50Sex guy.
00:03:50Okay.
00:03:51Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:03:59Yeah, right. I bet.
00:04:06Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday? Oh, no.
00:04:11Does not compute. Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:15Oh, huh. Hi. When did you get home? So, is it true?
00:04:24Yes, it is. It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man. I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him. So, I just think it's the right time.
00:04:39Lexi, tell her. Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together. On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday. Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:04:55Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry. I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:05But Cheryl, Sue is right. We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:17Oh, does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:20It's not Jake. It's the male ideal. Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:28Right.
00:05:30Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, it kind of sucks. I'm not really an artist.
00:05:34Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:37The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:40And I'm just not ready yet. I'm waiting for a sign. And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:45Look, I can go either way. I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:52I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed. Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:58But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:04You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:10Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:13To church to pray for you. I want to be first in line.
00:06:18I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:19Yeah, me too.
00:06:20Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:33I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:06:35Mm-hmm.
00:06:37Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:06:43Mm-hmm.
00:06:44I mean, not me. I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:49Uh-huh.
00:06:51I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:53Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:56But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:00But there was nothing there.
00:07:04Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:06My best friends.
00:07:08They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:10Okay.
00:07:12Third base.
00:07:13What?
00:07:14No. Like, sex. Like, intercourse.
00:07:18With boys, they barely even know. I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:21If you know what I mean.
00:07:22All the way. Go all the way.
00:07:26What are you...
00:07:27What?
00:07:29How could you do that?
00:07:33You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:37What?
00:07:38Yes.
00:07:44Yes.
00:07:44Yes.
00:07:45Run.
00:07:46Run.
00:07:47Home route.
00:07:49Ah.
00:07:50Damn it.
00:07:52Oh, fucking Yankees.
00:07:53Sorry.
00:07:54Sorry.
00:07:56Sorry.
00:07:56Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:20What do you have a little consideration?
00:08:22I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:23Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:28I have an announcement to make.
00:08:29I want to do it.
00:08:32Do you hear me?
00:08:33I want to do it.
00:08:35This weekend.
00:08:36On our birthday.
00:08:37Do what?
00:08:39It.
00:08:40Screw.
00:08:41You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs, you know, shagging, fucking.
00:08:50You do.
00:08:51Uh, but what about all your religious stuff and, um, what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:08:58Really?
00:08:59Well, okay, great.
00:09:02We're all in then.
00:09:04So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:09:07Right?
00:09:08Right?
00:09:09Right.
00:09:10I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:13Hey, Frank!
00:09:14Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:15Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:17I don't know, do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:19Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:20Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:25Hey.
00:09:26Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:28It's for our birthdays.
00:09:29Do you want to come?
00:09:30Do you think he can see at my short?
00:09:31Yeah.
00:09:32Oh, hi, Sue.
00:09:33Hi, Sue.
00:09:34Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:36I don't know, do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:38Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:39Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:42We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:44It's for our birthdays.
00:09:45Do you want to come?
00:09:46Do you think he can see at my short?
00:10:00Well, the house looks done.
00:10:02Tomorrow's the big day.
00:10:04We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:10:08Well, we better get our beauty sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:11So, OK, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:16But, Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:18To pop your chair.
00:10:19It's easy.
00:10:20I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:23What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:27I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:29My soulmate.
00:10:39Chris?
00:10:42Sue, you might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:47I mean...
00:10:48What?
00:10:49No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:50He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:53Plus, his name's Chris.
00:10:54It's a sign.
00:10:55Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:11:00What?
00:11:01He does not.
00:11:02Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:11:04He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:11:06With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:10Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:12Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:15Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:18See you in the morning.
00:11:26I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:28I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:30I knew it would happen.
00:11:49You're so perfect.
00:12:19I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:38Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:13:04Tomorrow's the day.
00:13:17Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:13:33Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:38Ew, why?
00:13:40It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:42It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:43I'm gonna start.
00:13:44You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:13:46It's gonna be really sexy.
00:13:48It's stupid.
00:13:49Just screw him.
00:13:50That's what he wants.
00:13:51That's what all guys want.
00:13:52Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:54Oh, Christ.
00:13:55Can I wrap your mouth, too?
00:13:57Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:14:02You're an idiot.
00:14:03A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:14:07Seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:14:13Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:17You should put that down, though, because it's very fragile.
00:14:22Yeah.
00:14:23Set it down.
00:14:24Hurry up.
00:14:25Those are your anal beads, right?
00:14:28Yeah.
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30I thought so.
00:14:31Mmm.
00:14:32Oh, Jesus.
00:14:33Whoa!
00:14:34Oh, Jesus.
00:14:35Whoa!
00:14:36Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:38Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:14:39Nice!
00:14:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:14:41Oh, whoa, it's fun in my house!
00:14:42Oh, oh, Jesus.
00:14:43Whoa!
00:14:44Oh, whoa!
00:14:45Whoa!
00:14:46Oh, whoa!
00:14:47Oh, whoa!
00:14:48Whoa!
00:14:49Whoa!
00:14:50Whoa!
00:14:51Oh, whoa!
00:14:53Whoa!
00:14:54Oh, whoa!
00:14:55Whoa, whoa!
00:14:56Hey, we're gonna have some fun.
00:14:57Oh, uh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts!
00:14:58Nice!
00:14:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:15:00Oh, come on, come on.
00:15:02Ah, come on.
00:15:03Check, check, check, check, check.
00:15:07Happy birthday, Lex.
00:15:09No...
00:15:10Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:13That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:15:15but be careful, it stings.
00:15:17And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:20Oh, how did you know?
00:15:21I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:15:29Buster, such a cutie.
00:15:32Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:34All right, sorry.
00:15:35Are you okay now?
00:15:36Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:15:37Okay, see you later.
00:15:40I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:42This is crazy.
00:15:43Oh, wait, I got to-
00:15:44Jake!
00:15:45Hi!
00:15:46Hey, babe.
00:15:47Happy birthday.
00:15:49Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:52What?
00:15:53You want a beer?
00:15:57No.
00:16:01Oh, hon.
00:16:02Come here.
00:16:06I have your present here.
00:16:07I'll give it to you later.
00:16:09The time's right.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11You didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:13And I have a present for you
00:16:15that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:19Hey, Ralph.
00:16:20We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:23Oh, a bet.
00:16:27All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:29Hey.
00:16:30Hey.
00:16:31How you doing?
00:16:32Good.
00:16:33Hey.
00:16:42Check it out!
00:16:43Dare me?
00:16:44Do you dare me?
00:17:00Oh, dude.
00:17:01Look at those.
00:17:02Are those real?
00:17:03Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:17:04Hey!
00:17:05I do!
00:17:06Move!
00:17:07Oh, all right.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:09I'll see you guys later.
00:17:10Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:11Aw, the moves.
00:17:1220 bucks says,
00:17:13by the end of the day,
00:17:14I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:16Yeah!
00:17:18They're fake anyways.
00:17:19Who cares?
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:25Oh, dude, dude.
00:17:26I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:31Sue, no.
00:17:32It's your birthday.
00:17:33Here, let me.
00:17:34Joanna, no.
00:17:35Just go enjoy the birdie.
00:17:36What?
00:17:38Open.
00:17:41Hey.
00:17:42Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:43I put this stuff on,
00:17:44but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:47Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:48I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:49He just, like, disappeared.
00:17:56Are these real?
00:18:03Of course they are.
00:18:05How come I couldn't have met you before?
00:18:08I don't know.
00:18:09Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:18:10All right.
00:18:11Have you seen Jake?
00:18:12Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:15Maybe upstairs.
00:18:16I don't know.
00:18:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:20That's probably where he went.
00:18:21Uh-huh.
00:18:22It'll roll.
00:18:25Liquid courage?
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:27Mm-hmm.
00:18:28Atta girl.
00:18:32Vodka cranberry?
00:18:33It's really simple.
00:18:36Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:37I can go meet Rod.
00:18:40Sue?
00:18:41Are you okay?
00:18:42Sue?
00:18:43Relax.
00:18:45They're just guys.
00:18:46Okay.
00:18:47Nothing to be scared of.
00:18:48Seriously.
00:18:49It's gonna be fine.
00:18:50Is Chris here?
00:18:51What?
00:18:56Wow.
00:18:57It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:58No.
00:18:59He does not have gay face.
00:19:01I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:03I'm gonna do it.
00:19:08Wow.
00:19:09It's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:19:11No.
00:19:12He does not have gay face.
00:19:14I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:19:16I'm gonna do it.
00:19:17I'm gonna do this.
00:19:18Good luck.
00:19:19Hey.
00:19:20You can do this.
00:19:22Just act like a slut.
00:19:27Just pretend.
00:19:29You're Lux.
00:19:30Yeah, my favorite chapter is Solomon Galore.
00:19:40Chris.
00:19:41Hi.
00:19:43Can I talk to you?
00:19:44Uh-huh.
00:19:46In private?
00:19:47No.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:49Hey, Lexi.
00:19:50Hey, Lexi.
00:19:51What?
00:19:52Chris.
00:19:53You're so sexy.
00:19:54Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:08And I really want to...
00:20:09Oh!
00:20:10What are you doing?
00:20:11Is that wrong?
00:20:12Sue!
00:20:13What's gotten into you?
00:20:14Nothing.
00:20:15I'm sorry.
00:20:16I don't know how to do this.
00:20:17Sue.
00:20:18Sue.
00:20:19Sue.
00:20:20Sue.
00:20:21Sue.
00:20:22I understand these urges.
00:20:23And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:24Really?
00:20:25You do?
00:20:26I do.
00:20:27Sue.
00:20:28Sue.
00:20:29Sue.
00:20:30Sue.
00:20:31Sue.
00:20:32Sue.
00:20:33Sue.
00:20:34Sue.
00:20:35Sue.
00:20:36Sue.
00:20:37I understand these urges.
00:20:38And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:39Really?
00:20:40You do?
00:20:41I do.
00:20:42I really do.
00:20:43I like you too.
00:20:44Really?
00:20:45You do?
00:20:46I do.
00:20:47I really do.
00:20:48It's just...
00:20:51I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:55Right.
00:20:56Lexi said you were...
00:20:57Jesus.
00:20:58Oh.
00:20:59That man.
00:21:00Of course.
00:21:01What did you think?
00:21:02Oh, nothing.
00:21:04So we can still do this then?
00:21:07Oh, Sue.
00:21:08You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about
00:21:18him up there on that cross, so helpless.
00:21:22Yet so...
00:21:24Muscular.
00:21:25With his strong...
00:21:28Thighs...
00:21:29Crossed over each other.
00:21:31So...
00:21:32Delicately.
00:21:33Beneath that...
00:21:35Ragged...
00:21:36Loincloth.
00:21:37Growing so hot.
00:21:39So sweaty.
00:21:40Under that hot...
00:21:42Hot sun.
00:21:44I just feel such...
00:21:46Compassion.
00:21:47I think about those things too.
00:21:49So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:53Not really.
00:21:54I just find it too hard.
00:21:56It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:22:04So...
00:22:05We're gonna go out there, right?
00:22:06Andy, we're gonna totally throw these on.
00:22:07Jake.
00:22:08Hey.
00:22:09Hi.
00:22:10Whoa!
00:22:11Can you see him, Jake?
00:22:12Uh, no.
00:22:13No.
00:22:14No.
00:22:15All right.
00:22:16Okay.
00:22:17All right.
00:22:18Focus.
00:22:19Focus.
00:22:20Focus.
00:22:21Focus.
00:22:22Focus.
00:22:23Focus.
00:22:24Focus.
00:22:25Focus.
00:22:26Focus.
00:22:27Focus.
00:22:28Focus.
00:22:29Focus, focus.
00:22:30Focus.
00:22:31Focus.
00:22:32Focus.
00:22:34Focus.
00:22:35Focus.
00:22:36Focus.
00:22:37Oh, there he is.
00:22:39Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:43How could he?
00:22:59Sue, what happened?
00:23:01Did you guys do it?
00:23:03Sue?
00:23:04He doesn't want me.
00:23:06Because he's gay.
00:23:07No, he's not.
00:23:08He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:10Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:12Sue, the only reason we even liked him
00:23:14is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:17Look, the only way you're going to find out
00:23:20what kind of man you really want
00:23:21is to know what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:23:26What?
00:23:27Come with me.
00:23:29Where?
00:23:29To meet your dark side.
00:23:37Out.
00:23:39Everyone out.
00:23:42Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face-to-face.
00:24:02I really can't.
00:24:05I really don't think I can do this.
00:24:07I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:13I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:18Sue?
00:24:19Can you see it?
00:24:22Sue?
00:24:26I'm almost...
00:24:27I'm almost there.
00:24:29What?
00:24:34What?
00:24:35What?
00:24:36Sue, what happened?
00:24:37What did you see?
00:24:38A raccoon?
00:24:40What?
00:24:42You overshot it.
00:24:43Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:51I can't.
00:24:52Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:53Okay, fine.
00:24:55Fine.
00:24:56I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:59What?
00:25:00You really need an orgasm.
00:25:03Honestly, I don't know how you expected
00:25:05to ever have sex with someone else
00:25:06when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:25:08This really has to be your first step.
00:25:10Lex, I'm waiting.
00:25:12Coming.
00:25:13Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:15Just find it and use it.
00:25:17Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:19It's black.
00:25:20It vibrates.
00:25:23Come on, Rod.
00:25:25Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:27And don't come back
00:25:28until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:41Hey, cutie!
00:25:42Cutie!
00:25:46Oh!
00:25:48Buzai!
00:25:49Oh, yeah!
00:25:53Big.
00:25:54Big.
00:25:55Bang!
00:25:56Bang!
00:25:58Good boy.
00:25:58Straighten up.
00:26:00Good boy.
00:26:01Good boy.
00:26:02He knows over a hundred commands.
00:26:05I'm sorry.
00:26:06I can't see anything.
00:26:08That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:10What a bitch.
00:26:12Fortunately, when you're blind,
00:26:13you get used to things like that.
00:26:14Oh, shit.
00:26:15Oh, shit.
00:26:32Oh, shit.
00:26:42What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:48Nice shot.
00:26:52Direct hit.
00:27:05Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:27:07Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:10He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:14For sure?
00:27:15I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:27:17so maybe, maybe it's my fault.
00:27:19That's no excuse.
00:27:20He's a dirtbag.
00:27:21How dare he?
00:27:22No, it's awful.
00:27:24I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him.
00:27:26Oh.
00:27:27Oh.
00:27:27It's a text.
00:27:33It's, it's from him.
00:27:34Um, I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:35Okay.
00:27:36Uh, he's looking for you.
00:27:38He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:40Oh, I can't face him.
00:27:42Um, I have to go.
00:27:43I'm going.
00:27:43No, you can't just leave.
00:27:45Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:27:48I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:50No.
00:27:51He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:54Either way, it's bullshit.
00:27:55I see only one option.
00:27:58I'm leaving.
00:27:59Revenge sex.
00:28:01Re, I mean, what?
00:28:02What does that even mean?
00:28:03It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:09Revenge sex.
00:28:11Re, I mean, what?
00:28:12What does that even mean?
00:28:13It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:18But he, I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:28:20He doesn't even care about me.
00:28:21I mean, why would, he's just into other girls.
00:28:23Trust me, he'll care.
00:28:26Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:28:28To his ego.
00:28:30To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:28:33Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:37No, I, I couldn't.
00:28:40Plus, I mean, there's, there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:44Eric.
00:28:45He's perfect.
00:28:46Eric Hall?
00:28:47Are you kidding?
00:28:49I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:28:51He likes your type.
00:28:52Really?
00:28:53And what type is that?
00:28:54He's bloody.
00:28:56Yeah.
00:28:57Trust me, he's amazing.
00:28:59I fooled around with him once.
00:29:00He has this great tongue ring.
00:29:01Oh, no, I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with.
00:29:05Okay, then.
00:29:06Fine.
00:29:07We will find someone else.
00:29:08Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:14Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:29:17I mean, it's like you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:19No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:21Fine.
00:29:21If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:26to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:29:29and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:32and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:29:34But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:38I don't know.
00:29:41But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:46I don't know.
00:29:47Trust me.
00:29:48It's going to work.
00:29:49I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:58Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:59Okay, enough to chat with you.
00:30:01Oh, no.
00:30:13Hey.
00:30:15Happy birthday.
00:30:18Thanks.
00:30:19Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:40So, happy birthday.
00:30:50Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:54But it's actually from us.
00:30:55U.S.
00:30:57America?
00:31:00United States?
00:31:01Uh, I know where we live.
00:31:02Right.
00:31:03Of course.
00:31:04Of course.
00:31:07I know where we live.
00:31:09Right.
00:31:10Of course.
00:31:15Hey, Jesus, Erica.
00:31:16Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:18Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:19Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:31:20I just...
00:31:20No, you're fine.
00:31:22No, you're fine.
00:31:34Jake!
00:31:36So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:31:41It?
00:31:42What, um...
00:31:43It?
00:31:44Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:31:50Oh.
00:31:51Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:55I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:57You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:58Yeah, sure.
00:32:01I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:32:02Um, I just never realized that you...
00:32:05I mean...
00:32:08Whew.
00:32:09Uh...
00:32:09It's just...
00:32:12You're so...
00:32:15You're so beautiful.
00:32:17Okay, um...
00:32:17Hmm?
00:32:19Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:21Right.
00:32:22Um, of course.
00:32:24Sorry?
00:32:27So, um...
00:32:28Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:32Oh, wow.
00:32:32Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:37Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:39You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:43Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:45You, uh, you're fresh.
00:32:47Organic.
00:32:49Yep.
00:32:51So, the wrap.
00:32:53Right?
00:32:54Um, where's the, uh...
00:32:57It's, uh, the end that I just like right over here.
00:32:59Oh, oh, yeah.
00:33:00Here it is.
00:33:00Yeah.
00:33:00It's where I see it.
00:33:01Um, let me just, uh...
00:33:03Got it.
00:33:04Uh...
00:33:04Ow, ow, ow.
00:33:05Oh, sorry.
00:33:06Sorry, sorry.
00:33:07I, um...
00:33:08It's...
00:33:08It's okay.
00:33:09Here.
00:33:09Do it again.
00:33:12Sorry.
00:33:12I, uh...
00:33:12I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:15You know what?
00:33:15Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:17Uh, let me just see.
00:33:27Oh, here it is.
00:33:28I got it.
00:33:29All right.
00:33:29Just, um, pull it.
00:33:31Let me just...
00:33:31Oh, jeez.
00:33:35Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:37Are you okay?
00:33:38Help!
00:33:38Uh...
00:33:39Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:43Oh, jeez.
00:33:50Well, that was stupid.
00:33:55Yeah.
00:34:01How are you doing tonight?
00:34:02You having a good time?
00:34:04Yeah?
00:34:04You good?
00:34:05Jake!
00:34:06I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:08What?
00:34:09I can't hear you.
00:34:11You need another beer.
00:34:13Chips are so damn salty.
00:34:15Jake!
00:34:15It's right here.
00:34:16Upstairs.
00:34:17Yeah.
00:34:18Hold on.
00:34:19I'll take a piss.
00:34:21How much beer?
00:34:21Uh...
00:34:22Uh...
00:34:36Uh...
00:34:41Uh...
00:34:42Finally.
00:34:50I, uh...
00:34:51Let me just get the blinds.
00:34:54Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:55Um, don't, don't worry about it.
00:34:57What?
00:34:58I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:03Oh.
00:35:05Well, okay.
00:35:06Okay.
00:35:06I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:32Here.
00:35:33Oh.
00:35:35Well, okay.
00:35:36Okay.
00:35:37Okay.
00:35:37Hmm.
00:35:38See you next time.
00:36:08What are you doing I think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:36:38it's so good oh yeah oh my god draw draw draw what ah ah ah ah lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing
00:36:56I don't know huh are you okay no no it's uh it's fine I'm just a
00:37:07embarrassed I it's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen you sure you're okay yeah okay great have fun
00:37:20now now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:37:28oh I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it's been a really long time and I just I haven't
00:37:54asked me for anything
00:37:56oh hey Jake how you doing how's it doing good Eric come Eric help me I'm glad I can't see anything
00:38:14Oh my God I'm sorry I can't see I'm blind
00:38:25What the fuck is...
00:38:27Hey, wait!
00:38:29Lex.
00:38:31Wait, I'm still waiting.
00:38:39Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:38:43Damn it. I'm gonna save something to that bitch.
00:38:47Hey, you!
00:38:49You better stop making fun of the blind,
00:38:51or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:38:53Ow!
00:38:55I'm so sorry!
00:38:57I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:39:19Oh!
00:39:21Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:39:25This party's ass.
00:39:29Yeah!
00:39:33This just isn't working.
00:39:35Nothing.
00:39:37What's the big deal about these vibrators anyway?
00:39:39Oh, man!
00:39:41Oh, man!
00:39:43I love this game!
00:39:45Oh, man!
00:39:47I love this game!
00:39:49We're in the controllers. We gotta play.
00:39:51Here, here, here.
00:39:53Here, here, here.
00:39:54Okay, let me find another one.
00:39:55All right, watch on!
00:39:57Woo!
00:39:59Whoa!
00:40:00Look at this!
00:40:01Oh, my God!
00:40:03Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:40:05Get that thing away! Jesus!
00:40:07Hey, dude, nice shot!
00:40:15Wasn't me!
00:40:17Whoa, whoa!
00:40:19Nice!
00:40:21Are you sitting in there or something?
00:40:23Hey, you found the grenade launcher! Nice! Nice!
00:40:29Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:31Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:55Whoa!
00:40:57You are the controller!
00:40:59Yeah, I just...
00:41:01I didn't...
00:41:02I swear...
00:41:03I...
00:41:05Oh, God!
00:41:13Hey, hey, Sue!
00:41:15What are you doing, man?
00:41:17It's okay, um...
00:41:19Hey, Sue!
00:41:29Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:41:31Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:33Um...
00:41:34Oh!
00:41:35Sure.
00:41:36Listen, Sue, I...
00:41:39I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:41You were?
00:41:42You mean...
00:41:43Y-yeah.
00:41:46So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:48Could we go get a drink?
00:41:49Wow!
00:41:50Um...
00:41:51Your...
00:41:52Toilet's really...
00:41:53Oh, you...
00:41:54You know what?
00:41:55I gotta go!
00:41:56Um...
00:41:57Happy birthday!
00:41:58Uh, no, Chris!
00:41:59No, there wasn't!
00:42:00I didn't...
00:42:01Oh, God, never mind!
00:42:02This was the worst idea ever!
00:42:03Never going to have sex!
00:42:04Ow!
00:42:32Hello?
00:42:33A little attention here.
00:42:34Oh, yeah.
00:42:35Sorry.
00:42:44Lex.
00:42:45Don't be selfish.
00:42:46Oh, right.
00:42:47Sorry.
00:42:48Sorry.
00:42:53Lex.
00:42:54Don't be selfish.
00:42:55Oh, right.
00:42:56Sorry.
00:42:57All right...
00:42:58Uh...
00:42:59I...
00:43:00Oh, jeez.
00:43:13Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:43:16Too much fucking multitasking.
00:43:18Screw it.
00:43:30No.
00:43:37No.
00:43:39No.
00:43:40No.
00:43:41No.
00:43:43No.
00:43:47No.
00:43:56No.
00:43:59No, no. That was bad. That was so bad.
00:44:15Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:20I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:23Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:30Yes, it does.
00:44:32So you're JJ?
00:44:53Hello. Welcome to 1-900 Confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:45:01A nun.
00:45:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:09Please hold.
00:45:10Thank goodness.
00:45:141-900 Confession. How may I be of service?
00:45:17It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:22One day.
00:45:30Is that too long?
00:45:31I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:34Go on.
00:45:36Okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:45:39Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:42What's her problem?
00:45:43A washing machine touched her.
00:45:47Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:50All right, freak. Time's up.
00:45:52What? But what do I do?
00:45:53Just unplug the thing.
00:45:55No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:59Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:46:02I'm serious.
00:46:03Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:07I'll tell you this.
00:46:09Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:10No contritions?
00:46:12You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:16So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:46:20Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:23Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:26Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:29Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:31Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:33He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:39Wow.
00:46:41How do you know all that?
00:46:43Because I'm a nun.
00:46:45Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:47Huh. Accidental masturbation.
00:46:50Who'da think?
00:46:51Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idiot.
00:47:02God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:06Yeah, admit it.
00:47:08I've got no game.
00:47:10I guess I can scare you.
00:47:12I guess I'm a beautiful man. Thank you.
00:47:16Fucking douchebag.
00:47:18Damn it.
00:47:19I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:22You go, girl.
00:47:24What?
00:47:26What are you doing here?
00:47:28We needed someplace private.
00:47:30But hey, listen.
00:47:32If you're serious about getting laid.
00:47:34Yeah?
00:47:35If you want someone great.
00:47:37I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:39No offense.
00:47:41Frank, the blind guy?
00:47:43Really?
00:47:45I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:47I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:50It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:53It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:56Everything.
00:47:59If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:48:02All right.
00:48:03What about him?
00:48:04Jeremy.
00:48:05Oh, yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:07Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:08I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:10It's Jones.
00:48:11Jeremy Jones.
00:48:12This all makes sense.
00:48:13Excuse me.
00:48:15Jeremy.
00:48:16Hi.
00:48:18Who's on the phone?
00:48:19Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:20You'll meet her.
00:48:21She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:22Wait.
00:48:23You have a girlfriend?
00:48:24Oh, hi.
00:48:25Hi.
00:48:26Hey.
00:48:27Who's on the phone?
00:48:28Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:29You'll meet her.
00:48:30She'll be here in like an hour.
00:48:31Wait.
00:48:32You have a girlfriend?
00:48:33Oh, hi.
00:48:34Hi, Frank.
00:48:35Sit.
00:48:36Oh, you meant... you meant the dog.
00:48:48Relax.
00:48:51You need to relax and calm down.
00:48:53Oh, you meant, you meant the dog.
00:49:00Relax.
00:49:01You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:14Oh, I'm, I'm relaxed, I'm fine.
00:49:16Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:18I'm not.
00:49:19How did you know that?
00:49:25Corner.
00:49:29Sit.
00:49:32Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me.
00:49:38Roll over.
00:49:42Oh, you mean me.
00:49:44Oh, how do you, how do you want me to...
00:49:47Just lay down.
00:49:48Wait, I...
00:49:59Oh.
00:50:00Oh.
00:50:01I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:05Okay.
00:50:08Oh.
00:50:09Oh.
00:50:12See me with your hands.
00:50:17All right.
00:50:18Uh...
00:50:25You know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:50:28Really.
00:50:29Oh.
00:50:30Mm, peanut butter.
00:50:31Oh.
00:50:32Mm, peanut butter.
00:50:36Frank.
00:50:37Frank.
00:50:38Frank.
00:50:39Oh.
00:50:40Oh.
00:50:41Oh, Frank.
00:50:42Frank.
00:50:43Ha.
00:50:44Oh.
00:50:45Oh, Frank.
00:50:48Oh.
00:50:49Oh, Frank.
00:50:57Oh, Frank.
00:51:12Yo, man.
00:51:28Yo, gimme a chair.
00:51:29My chips, homeboy.
00:51:31Yo, gimme a chair, man.
00:51:32My chips.
00:51:33Yo, my chips.
00:51:34Yo, gimme a chair.
00:51:36My chips?
00:51:38Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:41Sorry.
00:51:42It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:52That's all.
00:51:56No, let me do this.
00:51:58Go ahead.
00:51:58I got it.
00:51:59I got it.
00:52:00No, really, please.
00:52:00I want to help.
00:52:04Okay, everybody out.
00:52:06Leave.
00:52:07I have to back you.
00:52:08You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:22They're over here.
00:52:23I just, I see some dust over here, so.
00:52:29It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:33It's a dirty floor.
00:52:35Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:39I think I got all of that.
00:52:49I'm just gonna, I'll see you.
00:52:52I'm just gonna.
00:52:52Oh.
00:52:57Okay.
00:52:58Oh, yeah.
00:52:59Oh, all right.
00:53:01I think I got all of that.
00:53:02I'm just gonna, I'll see you.
00:53:04Oh, thank you.
00:53:14Frankie!
00:53:16Oh my, oh. What was that?
00:53:18What?
00:53:20Oh, man, we got to smoke.
00:53:22Oh, look at smoking heat.
00:53:24Stop. Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:53:28Oh, shit. Sorry, man.
00:53:30We're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:53:32Oh, I heard something.
00:53:34You want to join us?
00:53:36Come on, you got to do it.
00:53:38Seriously, guys. Where's your dog, man?
00:53:40What's it like being blinded?
00:53:42It's trippy.
00:53:46Frank?
00:53:48Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:52Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:56Thanks, man.
00:53:58Oh, this is some good stuff. I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:54:00Dude, I didn't stop smoking since junior high.
00:54:02Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:04I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:08Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:10This is some good shit.
00:54:12Oh, no. You're the devil. No more.
00:54:24JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:26You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:40Please.
00:54:42Lex, I can't.
00:54:44I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
00:54:48Fine.
00:54:50It's just so sad because I'm wearing this copless bra and I also have on crotchless panties.
00:54:58With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:08We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:55:10Perfect.
00:55:15Before she gets here.
00:55:16Perfect.
00:55:26Oh, yeah.
00:55:27Do it.
00:55:28Let's do it.
00:55:29Fuck me.
00:55:30Fuck me now.
00:55:35What?
00:55:36What's wrong?
00:55:37I can't.
00:55:38I can't get it in.
00:55:39Just try down there.
00:55:41It's like desert down there.
00:55:43It's sandpaper.
00:55:44Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:46Just try it again.
00:55:50No.
00:55:51Why is this happening?
00:55:53We fooled around before.
00:55:55I was dripping wet.
00:55:56I came like four times, remember?
00:55:58Just do what you did then.
00:55:59Go on.
00:56:00I already did my thing.
00:56:01I already tried.
00:56:04What?
00:56:05What is different this time?
00:56:07I don't know.
00:56:08Last time...
00:56:12I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:14What?
00:56:16You're not JJ?
00:56:18But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:20How can you not be JJ?
00:56:22Who the hell is this JJ?
00:56:25Where are you going?
00:56:26We're not done here.
00:56:28I can still do this.
00:56:29I just need a little bit of foreplay.
00:56:30I can do this.
00:56:32I don't need JJ.
00:56:33I don't need anyone else.
00:56:34We can do this.
00:56:36Go team.
00:56:41What?
00:56:42Just keep going.
00:56:46Jeremy?
00:56:48Shit.
00:56:58Where's Jeremy?
00:56:59What?
00:57:00We were just, you know...
00:57:03Hey babe.
00:57:05Just working out.
00:57:10How could you?
00:57:11You bastard!
00:57:15You might wanna...
00:57:16What?
00:57:18What?
00:57:19Mariela!
00:57:20Mariela!
00:57:21Mariela!
00:57:23Mariela!
00:57:25You know those aren't mine!
00:57:27At least not all of them.
00:57:30What is wrong with you?
00:57:35What is wrong with you?
00:57:37You used to be so pure.
00:57:40Well no more.
00:57:41That's it.
00:57:42Really.
00:57:43That's the last one.
00:58:13Mariela!
00:58:14Mariela!
00:58:18Mariela!
00:58:19What is it?
00:58:20What are you doing down here?
00:58:22Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
00:58:26What?
00:58:27Why?
00:58:28Nothing.
00:58:29Just this lying guy and his dog and...
00:58:32Honey!
00:58:33It's gonna be okay.
00:58:35No!
00:58:36It's not okay.
00:58:38God.
00:58:39You know what the fault it is?
00:58:40I'm sorry.
00:58:41It's Jake's.
00:58:42Jake's fault.
00:58:43That lying, cheating bastard.
00:58:45Yes.
00:58:46He is such a dickwad.
00:58:47You need to confront him.
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:50Yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:52I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
00:58:55Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:57You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:59:00Yeah, a big piece.
00:59:01A big old chunk of my mind.
00:59:03A big piece of it.
00:59:04Yeah.
00:59:06You know, you might wanna...
00:59:08You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:10Yeah, you're right.
00:59:12We're in a sheet.
00:59:13I know.
00:59:20I'm sorry.
00:59:21I'm sorry.
00:59:22I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:27I got no game.
00:59:29It's not important.
00:59:30Hey, um...
00:59:31Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:32No, no, no.
00:59:33I really need to talk to you.
00:59:34Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:35No, no, no, no.
00:59:36I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it
00:59:39up to you.
00:59:40Eric, really?
00:59:41I don't care.
00:59:42It's fine.
00:59:43No, but I do.
00:59:44I mean, I do.
00:59:45I care.
00:59:46I haven't known how to tell you.
00:59:47Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
00:59:49But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go over here.
00:59:50I don't know.
00:59:51I don't know.
00:59:52I don't know.
00:59:53I don't know.
00:59:54I don't know.
00:59:55I don't know.
00:59:56I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it
01:00:01up to you.
01:00:02Eric, really?
01:00:03I don't care.
01:00:04It's fine.
01:00:05No, but I do.
01:00:06I mean, I do.
01:00:07I care.
01:00:09I haven't known how to tell you.
01:00:11Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:14But I was wondering, or hoping, that...
01:00:18We could go out sometime.
01:00:20Soon.
01:00:21Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out with like...
01:00:25Really?
01:00:26Eric, you're shy.
01:00:27You have no game.
01:00:28No, not really.
01:00:31Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:33Sorry.
01:00:37Okay.
01:00:38Alright.
01:00:39I, uh...
01:00:41Happy birthday, then.
01:00:48I'm sorry.
01:00:49I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:52Wow.
01:00:53Here I come, baby.
01:00:54Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:00:56I'm sorry.
01:00:57I was trying to kiss you.
01:00:58I'm sorry.
01:00:59I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:00I'm sorry.
01:01:01I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:02I'm sorry.
01:01:03I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:04Wow.
01:01:05Here I come, baby.
01:01:06Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:21Eric, stop.
01:01:22Um, we can't do this.
01:01:23Sorry.
01:01:24Oh, goddammit.
01:01:25Not again.
01:01:26Oh, no, um...
01:01:27Honey, happy...
01:01:28What the fuck is this?
01:01:29Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:30Okay, guys.
01:01:31Don't.
01:01:32Cheryl.
01:01:33Baby.
01:01:34What is this?
01:01:35Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:36You're...
01:01:37I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:38Oh, man.
01:01:39No wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:40You couldn't find me?
01:01:41What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:44Cheryl, honey.
01:01:45No, no.
01:01:46We can work this out.
01:01:47Baby, I love you.
01:01:48Jake, no.
01:01:49You have to go.
01:01:50Baby, I'll be faithful from now on.
01:01:51Please.
01:01:52I promise.
01:01:53No, Jake.
01:01:54I can't do this.
01:01:55I'm sorry.
01:01:56Cheryl, come on.
01:01:57No.
01:01:58Jake, please.
01:01:59Just go.
01:02:00Just go.
01:02:01I'm sorry.
01:02:02No, Jake, please.
01:02:03Just go.
01:02:04I'm sorry.
01:02:05No, Jake.
01:02:06No, Jake.
01:02:07I can't do this.
01:02:08I'm sorry.
01:02:09Cheryl, come on.
01:02:10No.
01:02:11Jake, please.
01:02:12Just go.
01:02:13I'm sorry.
01:02:14You're a harmless bitch.
01:02:15How can you do it with me?
01:02:17Yay!
01:02:18You did it.
01:02:19I'm so proud of you.
01:02:20You got your revenge sex.
01:02:22You left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:24Revenge sex?
01:02:27It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:29Right.
01:02:32It all makes sense now.
01:02:34Wow.
01:02:35I feel really stupid.
01:02:37Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:02:40Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:43And he used me.
01:02:44Eric, please don't go.
01:02:46Please, Eric!
01:02:49Aren't you happy?
01:02:52Well, no.
01:02:53That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:02:55You mean the sex?
01:02:56Was it?
01:02:57Yeah.
01:02:58No, he didn't quite do it.
01:02:59Oh.
01:03:00You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:03:02Really?
01:03:03I just never found the right guy.
01:03:04Or guys.
01:03:05Anyway.
01:03:06We better get downstairs.
01:03:08People are starting to leave.
01:03:09I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:19I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:23This is bullshit.
01:03:24God!
01:03:25Oh!
01:03:26Oh!
01:03:27Oh!
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:29Dude, suck it!
01:03:30What the...
01:03:31God, I'm out of here!
01:03:33Yeah!
01:03:34He has good hair, though.
01:03:39Don't you puke on me.
01:03:40And don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:43Right, set, break, dot.
01:03:45I might need a vacation.
01:03:47Vacation, vacation, vacation.
01:03:51Take this information through your head.
01:03:55Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:03:59Was it from sex?
01:04:00Did you pop your cork?
01:04:01I don't think so.
01:04:02Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:04Oh, don't ask.
01:04:06Every possible object.
01:04:08It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:10It was like...
01:04:11Transformers.
01:04:12They just all became vibrators.
01:04:14Ha!
01:04:15I told you.
01:04:16It's addicting.
01:04:19So what about Chris?
01:04:20Well, last time I saw him,
01:04:21he was running away through dear life.
01:04:22I told you he was gay.
01:04:23Yeah.
01:04:24Well, I think I'm just...
01:04:26Oh.
01:04:27Cramp.
01:04:29Oh.
01:04:30I think it's broken.
01:04:31So, wait.
01:04:33None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:36Ha!
01:04:39Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:42So I was gonna go grab some food.
01:04:44Wanna go?
01:04:45No.
01:04:47I think I should finish up here.
01:04:49Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:51No.
01:04:53I don't know.
01:04:54For some reason I just realized...
01:04:56he needs to be my first.
01:04:58Or something.
01:04:59Why, do you know him?
01:05:01Sort of.
01:05:02Oh.
01:05:03Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:04just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:13Love him.
01:05:14Shut it.
01:05:15I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:05:16You wanna get married.
01:05:17You wanna do it.
01:05:18I'm sorry.
01:05:20I'm sorry.
01:05:22I'm sorry.
01:05:23I'm sorry.
01:05:24Um, no.
01:05:47No way.
01:05:48Oh well, there's always next year.
01:06:18It's you, I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:34I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:04I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:07:34Wow.
01:07:35That's amazing.
01:07:36Yeah, I didn't know I had it in me.
01:07:40I guess something inspired me.
01:07:44You really captured his expression and his eyes.
01:07:47Yeah, even that little callic he has in his hair.
01:07:52Whose?
01:07:53Eric's.
01:07:54Well, it's him, right?
01:07:57Oh.
01:07:59Yeah.
01:08:01I have to go see him.
01:08:04Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:08One-nine-hundred confess.
01:08:09Sister Therese?
01:08:10Yeah, hun.
01:08:11There was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:13I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:14Oh, sure.
01:08:15Oh.
01:08:16It's two-seven-one.
01:08:17Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:20Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:21Take you back?
01:08:22Sure, hun.
01:08:23Why not?
01:08:24Why not?
01:08:25As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:26Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:39I always look for someone for you.
01:08:40Uh, why not?
01:08:41How do we know if you're on that path?
01:08:42God will forgive you, take you back?
01:08:45Sure, hon. Why not?
01:08:48As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:50Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:53I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:57Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:09:01Sister, can I get up now?
01:09:04I really gotta pee.
01:09:06No! Hush your trap!
01:09:08Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:13I will.
01:09:14Thanks.
01:09:18Sister? Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:38Eric, wait!
01:09:42Cheryl?
01:09:44Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:50I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:09:52At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:09:55I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:58The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:10:01Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:06And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:09I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is and he's all over these-
01:10:13Eric!
01:10:14Come on, I gotta get going.
01:10:17Oh, wow.
01:10:19Cheryl, this is my sister Tina. Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:23Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:26Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days, when I get back?
01:10:35Yeah, sure.
01:10:42Oh, sorry, no kissing, right.
01:10:45No, kissing.
01:10:46Oh.
01:10:47Mmm.
01:10:48Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:07I, I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:10Wait, what?
01:11:11I never did that.
01:11:13I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:15She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:22She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:24I wonder who it was.
01:11:45At least this birthday's over.
01:11:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:12:01I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign?
01:12:06Don't do anything.
01:12:20There's no one.
01:12:21I don't care.
01:12:22I don't care, but I believe it.
01:12:25I don't care.
01:12:26We're good.
01:12:27He's ready.
01:12:28I'm ready.
01:12:30We're gonna have to.
01:12:31I'm ready.
01:12:32Oh, that's it.
01:12:33Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:36Do you know where the church is?
01:12:38It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:40Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:43Or used to go to.
01:12:45Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:50You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:53Oh, um, I don't know.
01:13:03Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:05Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:10Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:14I don't think so.
01:13:16But thanks.
01:13:17What's your name?
01:13:18Sue.
01:13:19What's yours?
01:13:20Jesus.
01:13:22Really?
01:13:23Si.
01:13:25Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:33I could use the ride.
01:13:34Oh man.
01:13:36Oh no.
01:13:37Oh no.
01:13:39Oh no.
01:13:40Oh no.
01:13:45Oh no.
01:13:47Oh no.
01:13:48Oh no.
01:13:49I'm not too.
01:13:50I don't know if I was already there.
01:13:52Oh no.
01:13:53I'm not too happy to be here because there's no authority that's true.
01:13:54Oh no.
01:13:55Oh no.
01:13:56Oh no.
01:13:57Oh no.
01:13:58Oh no.
01:13:59Oh no.
01:14:00Oh no.
01:14:02Oh no.