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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone.
00:30You'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy.
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees, begging to
01:57get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kinda crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me, cause it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle, where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:23Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:48Look at you right now.
02:50Okay, fair enough.
02:52Yeah.
02:53And...
02:54Oh, oh, whoa.
02:56You already have a match, dude.
02:58You have a match.
02:59And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
03:02Oh my god, let me see.
03:04Swoon-worthy.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Local athlete.
03:08He has a five star rating.
03:10Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:12Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:14Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:26Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoe!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoe!
03:38Come on!
03:39Damon!
03:40Hey.
03:41I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:57Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
04:00Guess I'll see you there?
04:02Um, no.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:12You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:24I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:25Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:26Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:27I'm not.
04:28I'm not.
04:29I'm not.
04:30I'm not.
04:31I'm not.
04:32I'm not.
04:33I'm not.
04:34I'm not.
04:35I'm not.
04:36I'm not.
04:37I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:38Do you have to do it right here?
04:39It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:41I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:42Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:43Drama Queen 2020?
04:44Oh, man.
04:45What?
04:46This is epic.
04:47This is a mistake.
04:48Look, forget about everything.
04:49You can even keep the money.
04:50Oh, no, no, no.
04:51You can't get away that easy.
04:52Please.
04:53Don't tell Jake about this.
04:54I'm not.
04:55I'm not.
04:56I'm not.
04:57I'm not.
04:58I'm not.
04:59I'm not.
05:00I'm not.
05:01I'm not.
05:02I'm not.
05:03I'm not.
05:04I'm not.
05:05I'm not.
05:06I'm not.
05:07I'm not.
05:08I'm not.
05:09I'm not.
05:10I'm not.
05:11I'm not.
05:12You wanna be sick about this?
05:13Okay.
05:14I won't tell them.
05:15And I'll do you one better.
05:16I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:19What?
05:20That's why you're on the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:44Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No, forget it.
05:46I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out
05:50with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on, you want to make him jealous,
05:56and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:56It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine, but we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:06So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:09Tomorrow night.
06:10That's his birthday party.
06:12Exactly.
06:13That's his birthday party.
06:15Exactly.
06:16Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:21Will you please answer the question?
06:24Jeez, take it easy.
06:26I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:29You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:32Okay, okay, yeah, what was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38Um...
06:39We had a magical night at the movies.
06:43Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:45Yes, they do.
06:46Isn't that kind of lame?
06:47It's not lame.
06:48It's not lame.
06:49It's believable.
06:50No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:57What epic love story?
06:59We've been dating for like a week.
07:02Well...
07:03Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:09Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:15Fine.
07:16Love at second sight.
07:17Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:21I'm getting Jake back.
07:23He cheated on you.
07:24It was a mistake.
07:25Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:28Wow.
07:29How romantic.
07:30You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:34Real relationships never work.
07:36That's why I'm on the app.
07:38With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:45How romantic.
07:49Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:53Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:56How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
07:59Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:01Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:03Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:07I mean, have some fun.
08:09When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:11I have plenty of fun.
08:13Yeah?
08:14Yeah, that's fun.
08:15That's almost too fun.
08:17Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:20Nope.
08:21No more of that.
08:22Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:23What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:24You already look amazing with that.
08:25You can save the theatrics for now.
08:26We're not at the party yet.
08:27No.
08:28I'm serious.
08:29You look beautiful.
08:30You always do.
08:32I guess I'm just nervous.
08:33Don't worry.
08:34I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:35Promise.
08:36You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:37I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:39Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:42When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brothers like.
08:46Oh, yeah.
08:47I'm sorry.
08:48No problem.
08:49No problem.
08:50You're not okay.
08:51No problem.
08:52No problem.
08:53I'm sorry.
08:54I'm sorry.
08:55No problem.
08:56How you got to do it?
08:57The problem is that you don't need any makeup.
08:59You already look amazing with that.
09:00You can save the theatrics for now.
09:01We're not at the party yet.
09:02I mean, you're ridiculously smart, you started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:08You still have time for math leads.
09:12I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me.
09:16You're my little brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance, but I still paid attention.
09:22You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:27Damon Coyle.
09:28Hey, careful. I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decided to try with someone, of course.
09:43Claire?
09:46We're here.
09:58We're here.
10:04People are looking.
10:06Why are they looking?
10:07They're looking because you're with me.
10:09When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:12We're here.
10:13We're here.
10:14We're here.
10:15Lovely.
10:16We're here.
10:47I'm gonna give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun?
11:17You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my God, there he is.
11:28Oh my God, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:40He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Woo!
11:59Let's play.
12:02I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:18Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:20Okay.
12:23Um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Oh!
12:40Ooh, cute.
12:43Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Oh!
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:19Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:43And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was going to be by my side the entire night, and I thought we were...
13:50Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:56No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little
14:01box, it all comes crashing down around me.
14:04And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for is off God knows where, probably
14:09setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13Yeah.
14:14So, yeah, I'm, I'm done planning.
14:17Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:37Just...
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:46You just left me in there.
14:50I know.
14:51I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find
15:11someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want...
15:32a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:45I don't want a fake date.
15:46Come on, Slapshot 239, pick me home.
16:16Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:19Yeah, just make sure these two dots match. They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay, I'm trusting the process. I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:29You never got a date, right?
16:31No date, but Thayman's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:43No way! I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:01Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:12Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:17I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Thayman.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:34Yes, Thayman.
17:36My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her school dance.
17:43I mean, at least he's hot.
17:44So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations, it was over before it began.
18:02J-Z-O-E.
18:04J-Z-O-E. Absolutely not.
18:08Well, more Zoe for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon!
18:14Oh, it's Damon!
18:17Or should I say Claremont?
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:21Yeah, you can. Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay. Bye!
18:26Hey, beautiful.
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:30It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes. I almost forgot who I was speaking with. My sincerest apologies. Your royalness.
18:45I know how you can make it up to me.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:48Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone. I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake bouncing off the walls. Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun, and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:09What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him. I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win him. Queen for the night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win Queen for the night.
19:33And then, you know, for the rest of the school year, because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen, and then...
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:45How could she not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this King and Queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise, when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow. And, uh, you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together, get a cheese board,
20:17and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:23Oh, look. Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean... Claire...
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire!
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa. Did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool. Um, I just wanted to call you and touch base
20:56and just, you know, make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if win, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship. That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire.
21:24I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back...
21:34I-I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39Just...
21:40At least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
21:59Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa.
22:05Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:09I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah.
22:21Me neither.
22:21I hope we win, so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:50You mean...
22:51This one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:55My eyes!
23:01What?
23:01Like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:08Let's see.
23:08Let's see.
23:08By all means.
23:10Oh, uh, Chelsea's calling me.
23:27I should get it.
23:29I'll see you later.
23:30Um, yeah.
23:31Yeah, yeah.
23:31See ya.
23:48Hello?
23:49Hello?
23:50Hello?
23:50Hello?
23:51I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:54Wow.
23:56You look incredible.
23:58Thanks.
23:59Are you- are you going somewhere?
24:02Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming, and I don't know, I really
24:14wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
24:16I- I should've known how important it was to you.
24:18It's okay.
24:19God, how do you- how do you do this?
24:22You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:27If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?!
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:43Are you crying for me?
24:45Wait, what?
24:46Nothing!
24:47Nothing!
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to, and I, for one, am wearing my dancing
24:57shoes.
25:00Okay!
25:13This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:21Yes!
25:22Yes!
25:23It is- I'm so sad.
25:24Are you watching hockey right now?
25:26What?
25:27No.
25:28No, I mean, I'm- I'm not- NOT watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe, tell me some slack.
25:34It's my birthday tomorrow, and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:38Anybody who's anybody who's seen this.
25:40Classics just code for old.
25:42I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:50Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the
25:54first half of the day, and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:57Um...
25:58Crap.
25:59Crap.
26:00Crap.
26:01Um...
26:02Nico?
26:03Guitar?
26:04Flames is calling?
26:05Who's that?
26:06I- I completely forgot.
26:07I have a- a lesson.
26:08Ow!
26:09Is this why you've gotten someone to guitar lately?
26:10Hey!
26:11My favorite student!
26:12And my favorite student's... friend?
26:14We- we were just watching The Long Way, and- and we lost track.
26:17Yeah.
26:18Yeah.
26:19Yeah.
26:20Yeah.
26:21Yeah.
26:22Yeah.
26:23Yeah.
26:24Yeah.
26:25The Long Way, and- and we lost track of time.
26:28Oh, yes!
26:29I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend.
26:38I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who- who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, Demon!
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:45I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48But no!
26:49I- I mean...
26:50No!
26:51No!
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:06Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I- I don't...
27:09We...
27:10I- I- we don't...
27:12Um...
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:17Yeah, I- I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:21I mean...
27:22Not a- not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it.
27:29You know?
27:30There's just- there's a lot of stress.
27:31And then, yeah, you don't know who should say it first.
27:33Or when you should say it.
27:35Or if- if they'll ever say it back.
27:37And-
27:38Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe.
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm- I'm also good.
28:08You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:17Claire's guitar teacher.
28:20Niko...
28:23Yeah.
28:24He's- he's not even that good looking.
28:25Like, at all.
28:26Oh, no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5.
28:28And then, him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's- it's- it's weird.
28:33You know, we-
28:34She's doubled her lessons while I've been away.
28:36And we're watching movies they both like.
28:40Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:44I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:48Okay.
28:49I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:55I would know that she really wants to be with me, and not him.
29:00I just don't get it.
29:01I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I- I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I gonna talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:12If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:17Jake?
29:18Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay. You're right.
29:25You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:28Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow? Focus on that.
29:35Yeah. Thanks, y'all. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:48Hey, birthday boy.
29:50Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower. He just got back from practice, and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:02So, what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight? Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right. She started signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn. So, I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So, this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:41That's not, that's not true. I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:46Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much.
30:55I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:58What exactly wouldn't I understand? What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with. Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea. Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:17Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course, right. There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love and it's kinda boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:30Like what?
31:31Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar playing, art culture looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:55So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:01It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:16So, what are you still doing here?
32:18Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:39Hey!
32:41I was just gonna call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel.
32:48And, and I, I, this was going to be your birthday surprise.
32:51But, I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:56Okay.
32:57You're the cream in my coffee.
32:58You're the apple of my eye.
32:59You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:01I'm like, cause you're the one.
33:02So, there's one thing I must do.
33:03I have to say.
33:04Bye!
33:05Bye!
33:06Bye!
33:07Bye!
33:08Bye!
33:09You're the cream in my coffee.
33:10You're the apple of my eye.
33:11You make me wanna laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:14Like, cause you're the one.
33:15So, there's one thing I must do.
33:16I have to say.
33:17Bye!
33:18I love you.
33:19I love you too.
33:20I love you too.
33:21Moment stealer!
33:24I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:28I love you so much Claire.
33:29And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:34You talked to Zoe?
33:35Yeah, and, and she told me not to work.
33:38I love you so much Claire, and I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and-
33:44You talked to Zoe?
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54I love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know.
33:58She sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals.
34:11Even the old ones.
34:11I don't care.
34:12Just no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16I don't care.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:21Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I work really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:31Blue-white baby as bright as the sky
34:34Hit it in the clouds and then we're down so high
34:37Think you're the one, so there's one thing I must do
34:41Have to say
34:46I love you
34:49Do do do do do do do do do do
34:52Do do do do do do do
34:54Did you change your pillowcases in there, that looks like trash?
35:06Not really, but yeah
35:07Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes
35:10Chocolates
35:12Rose petals
35:13massage oils scented candles all of that Claire I'm I'm playing with you I
35:18literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now one Damon's been
35:22in your room and two you're not a virgin I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers
35:28that's awkward is there a term for that sleeping with brothers please do not
35:39ever google that ever you're not helping so look this is a big night tonight
35:46that's it what do you mean this is it going back going back to what to Jake have
35:54you guys been talking or something no not talking I don't know we dated for so
36:01long it feels like a betrayal you know and plus I know Chelsea broke up with him
36:08so I know he's not in a good place about time she dragged that on long enough
36:14what's that supposed to be nothing Claire I don't think you sleeping with your
36:18boyfriend is a betrayal you're good you think they'll talk about it
36:21oh my god what if they compare notes oh god that's so awkward I think the only one
36:27that gets to do the comparing is you plus Damon is gonna be ten times better than
36:32Jake think about all that experience why would you say that so I didn't even
36:37think of it like that he's been with so many girls what if he thinks I don't
36:43know what I'm doing thanks a lot just when I needed that's literally not what I
36:50meant at all
36:52oh thanks Damon wish me luck bye
36:55bye hey
37:01you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good I'll let it slide
37:11hey uh so I got some news bad news no just uh do you remember Natasha Natasha your super hot ex who ran away to like live off the land in Japan ride her bicycle across Thailand but yeah great so you remember she's back oh so it's horrible
37:17news I know we're supposed to hang tonight do you mind if I rain check do I mind if you bail to ride the rain check do I mind if you bail to ride the rain check
37:23do you mean if you
37:23with a literal model who also happens to be your ex girlfriend
37:24hmm let me think of it
37:26I know we're supposed to hang tonight do you mind if I rain check do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex girlfriend
37:32bad news no just uh do you remember Natasha Natasha your super hot ex who ran away to live off the land in Japan
37:37ride her bicycle across Thailand but yeah great so you remember she's back
37:39oh so it's horrible news I know we're supposed to hang tonight do you mind if I rain check
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:53I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise, she just wants to stop by, show me some pictures,
37:58and she's leaving again in like a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend hang.
38:16I don't know. I know who you guys were when you were together. You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:23I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on. Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:33Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special-
38:41She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:44I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:00Ha ha. Funny. You know what else is funny? Damon, running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow. Which one? Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Huh.
39:13Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:15Thailand. And just for the year, sadly.
39:19Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:25Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay. Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:37Okay. He's pretty. He does that. Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon. I don't trust her.
39:46Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers. She's not gonna see your name.
39:55I can't look, Zoe. You look.
39:59What is it? Are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:04Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:13Why would you have me look at that?
40:16This is it. You're gonna get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:29Again, with the not helping. This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo? He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling. And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:00What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
41:04Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like...
41:08Whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:13Beep beep beep.
41:25Hi.
41:26Are you calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:30Nothing.
41:31Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:39Nothing. What? Nothing.
41:41Nothing, nothing? Or something, nothing?
41:44You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:49She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:55Wait. You kissed?
41:58No. No, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way. Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss. Like, ever.
42:09Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up? I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure? I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please, you know she bought all those followers, right?
42:23What?
42:25100%. But do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on. Let me up.
42:39Keep going. Now, target zone for the tree. Punch it right for the front of the face. Palms are down. Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go. Now, we're going to...
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you, three times since this morning. Who knew he'd get so mushy after sex?
42:53That's awesome!
42:55And he took me out for breakfast.
42:57Did I say that already?
42:59Like, four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how...
43:12Can you turn that down?
43:14Can you turn that down?
43:16Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:21Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad. I'm just...
43:25Tired.
43:26Well, we can pause it. I mean...
43:28No, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating Damon.
43:34I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right? And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon, and now Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:54I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually... great. I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything. This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important? I want to know who stole my bestie's heart. Come on!
44:38She didn't steal anything. It just kind of... happened. I didn't think we'd get along so well, but... she's just perfect.
44:47Okay, so we've established it's a girl. I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking. I don't know. I don't know what we are.
45:03It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet. I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:12What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:15Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:25Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on. You're dating Chelsea? Like ruined my life, Chelsea. Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:42Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair. Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what? She weaseled into our two year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that? Aren't you in heaven with Damon? Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself. I would have talked you out of it.
46:13You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her?
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:19Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:41As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:17Well, she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond.
48:34Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:44Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:45Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea? Did I open a cursed box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:04What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:09She hasn't dated me.
49:10I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:22No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:30Oh, yeah. Another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:37What?
49:40Nothing. I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:47So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:05Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset.
50:18I was wrong.
50:20You're still very cute though. And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay.
50:35I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:43And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:03I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I-I freaked. I'm just-I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter. Because this isn't about me.
51:25Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:29Seriously, Claire. I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:34I think she might be... my person.
51:37My person.
51:39If you're happy.
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:52Best friend.
51:54And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:57You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:05I checked.
52:10I'm sorry too.
52:12I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which... you did.
52:18And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:22If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait...
52:29Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:30But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just... your special night?