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Short filmTranscript
00:00what just joking no but i think we do need to skip to the tactics portion of your secret sex manual
00:09you're a big date with him i don't know all that much to be honest
00:19come on you're the expert you tell me just wing it dora okay everybody just wings it
00:26what's wrong with you i've got a buddy who's gonna hack the bank for you right so come on
00:32pay up wait really what am i gonna know who's dumping all the money on me
00:37sit if you keep your promises all right okay fine what do you need to know apart from the whole
00:45k-ho eyes thing or whatever well which underwear black or what the black ones are a little bit
00:55see-through see yeah i can see yeah you don't need to hand them to me and you're handing them to me
00:59oh shit i'm getting hard dude not in front of her fuck um yeah these feel too soft you might not want
01:08take them off so the other ones up until this point my life has been a sex negative kiss negative two
01:21actually i've never kissed anyone so could you show me
01:27all right
01:36if i wanted to kiss you the first thing i do is get you close maybe offer you my jacket
01:52and i'd use that as an excuse to keep you close
01:57and then look into your eyes
02:01and tell you
02:04baby don't you
02:05that way you'd be ready for my kiss
02:16baby don't you baby don't you
02:17that's what the tongue does
02:36gross
02:38i don't know
02:40i don't know
02:45step by step
02:46step by step
02:48look down
02:50look down
02:52look down
02:56look down
02:58where'd you stop
03:06why'd you stop
03:08was that mean weird
03:10no
03:12did i do something wrong
03:22please
03:24tell me
03:26because you love leo
03:28not me
03:30you were cool
03:34you were cool
03:36okay there's nothing else i can really tell you
03:38that's like the launch pad right there
03:42i feel like you're gonna ghost me for being weird
03:48i'm sorry
03:50i know that it sounds needy i just
03:52i feel exposed
03:56me too
03:58i'm sorry
04:00you feel exposed
04:02because you're sensitive and you care
04:04everyone else is a player
04:06they're the ones who are shit
04:08not you
04:10sorry door
04:12i got stuff to do
04:14tell me
04:16why
04:18leo
04:20i thought you were friends
04:22yeah we're good on the ice together
04:24he's only ever treated you like a gopher
04:26oh
04:28i mean
04:30growing up we always just said we get married
04:32his mom left him
04:34and his brothers
04:36i just kind of wanted to save him
04:40so i guess that
04:42kind of mixed in with crushing on him for ten years
04:46so
04:48you know him better than i do
04:50and you're just gonna hand him your v-card
04:56you know is how i imagine my future
05:00why
05:02did you listen to some good looking bitchy girl like mindy
05:04yeah
05:05hot bitchy chicks
05:06hey but at least i knew where i was heading with them
05:08okay i wasn't crashing into some white fence fantasy
05:10with a complete dickhead
05:12what
05:14hey you don't get to judge me
05:16you don't get to judge me
05:32hey troy
05:34is this okay
05:38hi everybody blow it up his phone
05:40he doesn't care what i look like
05:44this is all for leo
05:50seriously who cares
05:51she'll work it out
05:52he'll bang her and burn her and she'll move on
05:54lesson learned
05:59fuck i hate that she's giving herself to him
06:01that narcissist will just hurt her
06:03your love just makes me jealous
06:15how's your hand
06:18i just heard a punch in the bag
06:20it's alright though i'm good
06:21still on track to be the wayne gretzky of our generation
06:23mm-hmm
06:24have you seen me play
06:26i have
06:27you know that's what i like about you
06:30what do you think about that overtime shot last week
06:32how was i
06:33i think it was great
06:34you know honestly i'm thinking about uh
06:36expanding my involvement with the team next year
06:39right and next year's gonna be even bigger for me
06:41you know i'm looking like a first draft pick already
06:43everybody's gonna be like
06:44leo
06:46leo
06:47yeah i'm really excited
06:49why did i upset troy
06:51he's been so nice
06:53he's just asking me a question
06:55you see one guy who gets my jokes
07:00i mean they should make a wine after me
07:02the leo constantine
07:04oh
07:05leo's still talking about himself
07:08everything's great
07:10and that's why we should fuck
07:13what?
07:16leo there's something i should tell you
07:18about us
07:24you were right
07:26i know
07:27so your room or mine?
07:29no
07:30we're better off as friends
07:33no we should fuck
07:40look i
07:42i actually think i have feelings for someone else
07:45let me guess
07:46troy?
07:48i haven't really talked with the other person yet
07:49so i can't
07:50i can't really say
07:51it's cool
07:52i know it's troy
07:54dora
07:58i'm really attracted to you
07:59and
08:00i don't know if you remember but
08:01as kids we used to joke around about getting married
08:04it just feels like there's something you know between you and i
08:07why
08:10why did you just walk away with the hockey flag hitting me in the face?
08:13did i?
08:27yeah
08:28i mean
08:29maybe it's just cause the way we you know grew up
08:31you're one of us like we're the boys you know
08:33i mean
08:34i don't know it just felt like that made something special between us right?
08:38this isn't gonna work
08:39torah
08:40i'm the hottest guy on the team
08:41i'm really flattering
08:42i am
08:43you're the hottest guy on the team
08:44i'm really flattering
08:45i am
08:46you are the hottest
08:47but
08:48maybe you'll find someone else
08:49this is gonna leave a scar
08:50we need to leave a scar
08:51we need to leave a purse
08:52we need to leave a purse
08:53we need to leave for us
08:54i'm
08:55oh
08:57i don't know
08:58so
09:00i don't know
09:01i'm not
09:02i'm not
09:03no
09:04i'm not
09:06i'm not
09:07not
09:08the
09:10the
09:11the
09:12the
09:13the
09:14the
09:16the
09:17where's your nerdy little bookworm shadow who really borer dora the borer she's on a date
09:40with leo no way
09:47actually i don't care we're not exclusive how about you are you upset that she's with him
09:56are you jealous she's free to make her own choices
10:01well i'm sorry if she hurt you
10:05i am
10:08remember what i said to you when we first met at that sophomore swim meet
10:15wow is that a bike seat in your speedo or are you just looking for a ride
10:25you know i could go for a ride now if you want
10:35you know for old time's sake
10:37no thanks
10:40but i
10:42maybe he'll be right to you
10:46so
10:56It's here.
11:26Oh, yeah.
11:33That's definitely the bruise.
11:49You're going in the penalty box.
11:55Not today, dickhead.
12:04You okay?
12:10Oh, shit.
12:11Go, go, go, go, go!
12:15Keep going, I'm coming!
12:19Oh, my God.
12:29You okay?
12:30Okay.
12:31Oh, yeah, the guy was trying to kill me.
12:35Why?
12:37You okay?
12:38You hurt?
12:39I'm fine.
12:40I'm fine.
12:41Oh, you're hurt.
12:42Did he stab you?
12:43Take off your shirt.
12:44Oh, you're hurt.
12:45Did he stab you?
12:47Take off your shirt.
12:51He must have got a cut from the guy's ring.
13:01Cut.
13:02First aid.
13:03It's under the table.
13:06Okay.
13:07It's...
13:08Yes!
13:09Sorry.
13:10Okay.
13:11Okay.
13:12Okay.
13:13I'm so lucky you were there.
13:15Why?
13:16Were you there?
13:17I was just going to hit the bars.
13:18Why were you in the alley?
13:20Where's Leo?
13:21I called off my date.
13:22But I thought he was number one.
13:23Actually, I'm starting to think he's more like number twos.
13:26Yeah, he is, for letting you all come alone like that.
13:45walk home alone like that.
13:52You need to tell the cops
13:54that you were assaulted.
13:55I will.
13:57Yeah.
14:10Detroit, I realized something
14:11important last night.
14:13What?
14:15Leo is not the one for me.
14:23Yeah, finally.
14:25Who is the right person?
14:35That's stupid.
14:38I should have known
14:39you don't feel the same way.
14:41How do you know I don't?
14:42Because you didn't say anything.
14:47Because you said all those times
14:48that Leo is your future.
14:51You love him.
14:53If I love him,
14:55then why did I leave the restaurant?
14:57That twist.
15:05Are you sure?
15:11Yes.
15:16I went to the restaurant
15:17because I couldn't handle the idea
15:19of you and Leo being together.
15:20then I saw you hold the hands.
15:28You went to the restaurant?
15:30Yeah.
15:32For the ribs.
15:33Are you sure?
15:46Are you sure?
15:46Are you sure?
15:50Are you sure?
16:01Yes.
16:02Are you sure?
17:09The best.
17:11Good morning.
17:31Morning.
17:33Is it good?
17:34Best I've ever slept.
17:37All right, so what do we do now?
17:40Do we, uh, pretend like this ever happened?
17:44Do we do it again?
17:47What do the experts say?
17:49The experts need breakfast.
17:52I'll go get changed.
17:57I'll meet you at the cafe at 9.30.
18:00Okay.
18:10See you in a little bit.
18:11We're sure we can do it again.
18:33On my way to practice?
18:42I can't believe last night really happened.
18:53I'm with the right person.
18:55Dora.
19:02D.D.
19:04Look.
19:05I know we're never going to be friends.
19:07But I also really don't like when people do shitty things.
19:11What are you talking about?
19:12I know you've been spending a lot of time with Troy.
19:16You may even have a little crush on him.
19:19Which is fine.
19:22But.
19:23But.
19:24Haley overheard him hanging out at the gym talking about you.
19:31And I know you're not going to believe me.
19:33So I thought it would be best if you heard it for yourself.
19:40In bed, these needy virgins will do anything.
19:43She's a bit fat, but, you know, fat brings the flavor, right?
19:47And Dora's, like, so grateful.
19:49Throw the dog a bone, eh?
19:54Can you leave me to cry in peace?
20:01Oh, someone should really be with you when you're so upset.
20:07Gee.
20:10And how do you find the time?
20:14Between laughing at how I look and then talking behind my back?
20:19Troy would never say that.
20:21Leo, right?
20:22What is it?
20:24AI?
20:26No.
20:27It's real.
20:29And you are the dumbest bitch on this campus if you don't take a warning from someone who is trying to help.
20:34You are the crappiest bully if you think I'm going to believe that.
20:39I'm going to tell you this now because I don't think you're going to figure it out yourself.
20:43But her name is not going to bring back whoever left you.
20:52Please, don't let that tape be real.
21:06He's not coming.
21:08That tape was real.
21:09Come here, you piece of shit.
21:24Yell all you want, Mr. Ace.
21:26No one will ever find you.
21:36Who are you?
21:41What do you want?
21:42Shut up and listen.
21:44We're going to play carrot instead.
21:48The carrot is you're going to be a TV star.
21:51Take this bag off my head.
21:54Now, there's a bunch of money in your account.
21:57You took that money for throwing a game.
22:01You're bookies?
22:03Is that all this is?
22:05You're going to say on camera that you made a big mistake.
22:11You have a gambling problem.
22:13No, but you're seeking help, rehabbing God, hoping for a healing miracle.
22:22I'll never do it.
22:25I'm glad you said that.
22:26Now, here is the statement.
22:29No, you will say a few words on camera and quit the team.
22:43And Dora, it's the keeper of great peace.
22:46This is a KGB-issued spy gun.
23:02It fires one bullet.
23:06If you don't want said bullet in your girlfriend's skull,
23:11then do as I command.
23:12Okay.
23:16All right.
23:18I'll do it.
23:37Hey.
23:38It's me again.
23:40Just want to make sure you're okay.
23:43We're okay.
23:46Call me.
23:59If cream is always the answer.
24:03But you've abandoned me too.
24:06Bye.
24:08Back to the store.
24:13I cannot believe this.
24:15I'm afraid.
24:16What's going on?
24:23It's unreal.
24:25It's Troy.
24:27I've been busted match fixing.
24:28Coach, I'm...
24:29I'm really sorry.
24:31And to my teammates.
24:33And to the whole community.
24:34I screwed up.
24:35And I'm prepared to accept whatever's prepared.
24:37Hey.
24:38Hey.
24:57Where have you been?
24:58I have been calling in Kali.
25:00we should talk yes yes we should someone is distributing fake ai confessions of you
25:08maybe you just tried to fake me out with one too i think it's the same people behind the bank it's
25:13not ai okay it's it's real it's me what it was all me you took a bribe yeah
25:30why would you say that wait why would you have me look into it for you
25:37i i was setting up an alibi okay but i got caught by who what are the authorities who exactly
25:48look this doesn't involve you okay just back off
25:53oh no something else is going on here for fuck's sake torr don't you get it i was using you
26:02thank you for making it so easy for me especially last night
26:08you don't mean that all right just tell me which authorities i will talk to them
26:17it doesn't matter okay it's too late troy please for fuck's sake what don't you understand
26:26you're just a dorky plain jane little nerd i'm the captain of the hockey team and you're a little
26:32ex-virgin you're always dumping your feelings on me it's not worth the hassle
26:39i'm sorry dora but it's the only way to keep you safe
26:49i should have known of course someone like troy wouldn't want to be with me
26:59i don't believe all those moments for the movie
27:27he's a hockey player not an actor
27:30something else is for them
27:33something made a push for me
27:36so
27:42so
27:56My God, it's a camera.
28:17Hey, I programmed you to do this to make Troy's voice.
28:21Tell me.
28:22Holy whore.
28:24Screw you.
28:26Just send me a link.
28:28Yeah.
28:29It was real.
28:31I'll punch you again.
28:47I just need one minute in his room to put my plan into motion.
28:55Who is it?
28:57Hey, it's Dora.
28:58Sorry, I thought you'd be at hockey.
29:04Got kicked off the team, remember?
29:06Of course he did.
29:07You idiot.
29:08I'm just looking for my hair clips.
29:10I'm just looking for my hair clips.
29:15They're not here.
29:18You shouldn't be here, Dora.
29:20I don't want you here.
29:21It's all right.
29:22I made a pact with myself.
29:25If my hair clips aren't in there, I'll just go.
29:31They're not here.
29:32Okay.
29:33Okay.
29:35Okay.
29:35Okay.
29:35Okay.
29:35I'm just gonna do it.
29:36I want you to go.
29:39Oh.
29:39There we go.
29:42All right.
29:43You don't need to do it.
29:43I didn't know what I'm doing.
29:43I want you to do it.
29:44I want you to do it.
29:45I want you to do it.
29:45I want you to do it.
29:56Uh, wait, Troy, before you go, I have information about the money in your bank account.
30:23You found out, put it there.
30:27Yeah, yeah, my friend, she has a name.
30:30So we can take this evidence to the cops?
30:32Yes.
30:34Meet me in the library at wedding.
30:35I'll have all the information then.
30:50Why can't you take Di for an answer, Dora?
30:54You're ruining everything.
30:56Oh, I didn't see you there.
31:06I thought you were a book.
31:08It's probably because you can't read.
31:09Yes, she can.
31:12Bye.
31:14Mindy, I really don't have time for this.
31:17Because you're too busy being alone?
31:19Yeah.
31:23Why are you exhausting?
31:25All right, just do me a favor.
31:27Get some real friends.
31:28Get some therapy, please.
31:30Before you end up being the one who is all left alone.
31:33You're just in time to watch me destroy a war.
31:46Get lost.
31:47Dora, we need to talk.
31:50What?
31:53Apologize to me.
31:55No.
31:56No.
31:56Get lost.
32:06Get lost.
32:06Neil, right now is really not a good time.
32:19Okay?
32:19I'm expecting someone.
32:20I know.
32:22I talked to Troy about the situation.
32:24He's talking with the coach right now, okay?
32:27He sent me here to talk with you.
32:29He'll transfer the money into his account.
32:31Troy wouldn't tell you that.
32:38It was you.
32:39You were the one that hit the camera.
32:41You were the one who set up Troy.
32:42Keep your voice down.
32:46Set up Troy?
32:47Keep your voice down.
32:49Why would you do that?
32:51He's your friend.
32:53The team needs him.
32:54They're going to lose without him.
32:55That's the point.
32:57I owe a lot of money to some seriously dangerous people.
33:01That's how I wanted him to pay it off.
33:07Are I losing?
33:09Duh.
33:10The bets are in.
33:12There's no way they're going to win now.
33:14Unless you screwed up.
33:16What about Troy's future?
33:18He'll never go pro.
33:20This could follow him around for the rest of his life.
33:22That's the free market, baby.
33:24Now I'm free.
33:27So, I'll go into the cost.
33:28You're not going anywhere, moron.
33:36You would have hurt me?
33:37Of course not.
33:39Big Mike?
33:40I'm surprised you even got out of the alley.
33:43You organized that?
33:45Well, Big Mike contributed to the idea, and he is a hitman.
33:50Hitmen hit people.
33:52You're a monster.
33:54Me?
33:55He's the hitman.
33:57Watch that stupid nerdy nose in my business in the first place.
34:01You're in public space, you idiot.
34:02If you don't come with me right now, be quiet.
34:09I'll make sure Big Mike finishes with a start-up on Troy.
34:12It's just people.
34:13Okay?
34:14Okay.
34:16Come.
34:17Let's go.
34:18I know it wasn't you.
34:34I found a way to reveal who set you up.
34:36I'm meeting them in the library.
34:38I know what.
34:38Pick up, Dora.
34:58She would never leave this.
35:03Have you guys seen Dora?
35:05Who?
35:05Come on, stop acting like an insecure bitch for two seconds.
35:10She's in danger.
35:12Promise?
35:15Relax.
35:16I saw her leave with Leo like 20 minutes ago.
35:19Leo?
35:20I was here with Dora.
35:26You gotta kick her to the curb, bro.
35:29Thanks, guys.
35:31I appreciate you.
35:31I'll pay you back in a second.
35:35Don't, don't.
35:39Holy shit.
35:42It's been Leo this whole time.
35:49Come on, Mike.
35:50Pick up.
35:53Leo, this is crazy.
35:55We've known each other forever.
35:56We can fix this.
35:57I...
35:58We're way too deep.
36:00Pick up it, Mike.
36:01He burned you.
36:06Bullshit.
36:08Okay, the hockey game's coming up.
36:10People, if you don't show up, people are...
36:12They're gonna start asking serious questions.
36:15Here's a free lesson for you.
36:17And all you dopey fucking girls out there,
36:19talking more does not fucking help.
36:22Or why did you even help, Troy?
36:24Want to get laid or something?
36:27Made a deal.
36:28For what?
36:32Just gonna help me get your attention.
36:34And then I was gonna trace somebody.
36:37Well...
36:38Got my attention now.
36:43Yeah.
36:45I see why Big Mike likes this.
36:50It's actually a turn-on.
36:53To feel someone fully under your power.
36:55Do you remember what you told me?
37:00About losing your virginity?
37:04I know I'm a day late, but...
37:06Still got a few minutes.
37:16Oh.
37:18Little bitch.
37:22I hope it hurts.
37:25A little spicy.
37:27Sorry, I like it.
37:28I would rather die than let you touch me.
37:32We can do both.
37:33I'm sure Big Mike wants a slice too long.
37:35You up for that?
37:36I never look up to you.
37:39You are not...
37:40Kind, brave, or courageous.
37:44Not even a good hockey player.
37:47I mean, Troy sets up half your shots.
37:50Bullshit.
37:50I mean, if Troy was playing the Scouts,
37:54they wouldn't even take a second look at you.
37:56Shut the fuck up.
37:57You don't even know what you're talking about.
37:59No, it's true.
37:59Your entire team knows that Troy carries you.
38:03Do you know how much they're gonna hate you
38:05when they found out they were betrayed for a bit?
38:07I said shut up!
38:08Come on, do it!
38:10Now you're gonna be a woman-hitting coward too.
38:12Shut up!
38:13Shut up!
38:13Shut up!
38:13Shut up!
38:13Shut up!
38:15Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:17Shut up!
38:18Shut up!
38:20What the fuck did you do to her?
38:36I know that she didn't deserve.
38:39If my kids here, they'll take care of both of you too.
38:42No, Leo, he's not coming.
38:44If you hurt us, that is on you.
38:49It's okay.
38:50Stay there.
38:54Get back with her.
38:55Why, Dickon?
38:56What's your plan?
38:58Tie both of you up.
39:00Then I'm gonna lock the door.
39:02And do what?
39:04Go play?
39:06Then I'm gonna light a little fire.
39:08And then I'll go play.
39:11See, you're not so stupid now, huh?
39:14Keep it up, Leo.
39:15I already called the cops.
39:17Yeah, prove it.
39:18Let me see.
39:22Oh, I'm gonna gut you, man.
39:24I'm gonna get you.
39:25Hey, I'm gonna cut you.
39:26Boy, no.
39:28I don't care.
39:29You're right.
39:30He's knocking the iron shoes.
39:35It's the police!
39:35Did he hurt you?
40:01I'm fine.
40:02You have to hurry.
40:03No, it's fine.
40:06He's out.
40:07We need to call the cops right now.
40:09We can still make it to the hockey game.
40:11It's too late.
40:13I'm finished.
40:14No one's gonna believe anything I say now.
40:16Let's go.
40:20Let's go.
40:33Coach.
40:36What are you doing?
40:37Get out.
40:38Get off the premises.
40:39Just give me two minutes to explain.
40:41Do you know how much damage you've done?
40:43Listen, Troy had nothing to do with the match vaccine.
40:46It was Leo, right?
40:47He did it to pay off his debts.
40:50What?
40:51He's a gambler.
40:52Okay, getting me off the team squareded away with the people he owes money to.
40:56Where is he, right?
40:57I've been calling for two hours.
40:59He's with the police.
41:00All right, I have the number if you want to check with him.
41:03But you have to let Troy play.
41:05I don't have time for these fairy tales.
41:07I want you off the premises so security's gonna kick you out.
41:13Let's go.
41:14It's over.
41:17Off your respect, Coach.
41:18You are an idiot.
41:20Dora.
41:21No, no, no.
41:22He needs to hear this.
41:23Do you know how badly you're gonna get trolled
41:25when they find out that you lost the biggest game of the season
41:27because you wouldn't let your best player play?
41:29Okay.
41:34Let's go.
42:00Let's go.
42:02Let's go.
42:03whatever bitchy thing you are about to say save it i am way too happy to waste any time on you
42:10the girls are here to witness me not saying this
42:15but you did good joy played and we won
42:21because of you
42:25big enough to accept that
42:33also big enough to know that you will always be a girl bullying bitch
42:39i am but now it's time for you to thank me for what for letting people see you with me when i
42:50bully you it's a special relationship they're not friends just try stopping me
42:58thank you
43:04i'm looking everywhere for you
43:11is there a reason you're still not dressed
43:19i just couldn't wait any longer to see you
43:22you were amazing out there the
43:25the scouts they couldn't keep their eyes off of you
43:28it's crazy three of them want me to go see them
43:30and i think leo's crazy shit is just a fantastic story for the media
43:37and i think i'm sick of you true
43:44i'm sure you want to go get pizza with the boys to celebrate
43:51and i think it's getting better and better
43:58i think it's getting better and better
44:04because it's you
44:12i love you like crazy
44:31yes
44:38yes
44:39i love you like crazy
44:45thank you for saving me
44:55you saved me first
44:57i'm really glad you were the one i lost my virginity too
45:02i'm gonna argue with that
45:05you're a really good tutor you know
45:10i'm glad you think so because i have another lesson for you and i think you're really good
45:17and i'm glad you're really good
45:24yes
45:26yes
45:27yes
45:28yes
45:29yes
45:30yes
45:31yes
45:32yes
45:34yes
45:36yes
45:37yes
45:38yes
45:39yes
45:40yes
45:41yes
45:42yes
45:43yes
45:44yes