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#ActionX
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, remodel boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone.
00:29You'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:51Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's got to stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:14Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's going to realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:29So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:41Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:51Operation Jealousy?
01:53Yep.
01:54You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back together with you.
01:59Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:04I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the night.
02:24Wait, how do you know about this?
02:26This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:37Actually, hold on.
02:38I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43Fun.
02:44Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
02:59Swoon worthy.
03:00Yeah.
03:01Local athlete.
03:02He has a five star rating.
03:03Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:04Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:05Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing you have to commit to at least a meetup.
03:08Oh.
03:09I'll take this.
03:10Let's see.
03:11Wait, what are you doing?
03:12Done.
03:13Done.
03:14You're meeting him today.
03:15Today?
03:16Yeah.
03:17Like, this today?
03:18This one.
03:19So, let's get dressed.
03:20Zoey!
03:21Zoey!
03:22Zoey!
03:23Yeah!
03:24Zoey!
03:25Come on!
03:26That is too soon!
03:27Damon!
03:28What are you doing?
03:29I'll take this.
03:30I'll take this.
03:31Let's see.
03:32Wait, what are you doing?
03:33Uh...
03:34Done.
03:35You're meeting him today.
03:36Today?
03:37Yeah.
03:38Like, this today?
03:39This one.
03:40So, let's get dressed.
03:41Zoey!
03:42Yeah!
03:43Zoey!
03:44Come on!
03:45That is too soon!
03:48Damon!
03:49Hey!
03:50I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh!
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah, you too.
04:18You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:36You don't have to wait.
04:37Thank you, though.
04:38I'm not.
04:39I'm actually...
04:40I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:42Do you have to do it right here?
04:44It's a public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:49I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:52Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:59Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man!
05:02What?
05:03This is epic!
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please, don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay, I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:21What?
05:22That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I...
05:24I just wanted to hire someone for a day to, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great, I'm in.
05:28No!
05:29Look, we can't do that.
05:30He's...
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's gonna believe that you're actually dating me.
05:41Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not gonna do better than going out with Jake's older, charming, and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You wanna make him jealous and I wanna teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
06:02Fine.
06:03But we follow my plan.
06:04No improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:08So, when exactly are we gonna do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's...
06:12That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's...
06:15That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:20Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:23Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend.
06:30Remember?
06:31You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay.
06:34Okay.
06:35Yeah.
06:36What was the question?
06:37Where did we go on our first date?
06:40Um...
06:41We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes.
06:47They do.
06:48Isn't that kinda lame?
06:49It's not lame.
06:50It's believable.
06:52No.
06:53What we need...
06:54Is an epic...
06:55Love story.
06:56To blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:04Well...
07:06Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:14I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine.
07:17Love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:23I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow.
07:30How romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:38That's why I'm on the app.
07:40With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:49Well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:03Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:05Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:09I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:13I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:19Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:27Nope.
08:28No more of that.
08:29Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:33What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:35You already look amazing with that.
08:37You can save the theatrics for now.
08:38We're not at the party yet.
08:40No, I'm serious.
08:41You look beautiful.
08:43You always do.
08:47I guess I'm just nervous.
08:49Don't worry.
08:50I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:51I promise.
08:53You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:55I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:57Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04I mean, you're ridiculously smart.
09:07You started in all the school plays, got every solo and chorus.
09:09You're nervous.
09:10You still have time for math leads.
09:14I can't believe you know all that.
09:16I always thought you just ignored me.
09:18You're my little brother's girlfriend.
09:19I had to keep my distance, but...
09:21I still pay attention.
09:23You know, when you drop the whole too-cool-for-school act,
09:26you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Coyle.
09:30Hey, careful.
09:31I have a reputation doable.
09:33No, I'm serious.
09:34I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:36I mean, when you finally decided to try with someone, of course.
09:44Claire?
09:47We're here.
09:48We're here.
10:06People are looking.
10:08Why are they looking?
10:09They're looking because you're with me.
10:11When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun for me.
10:18there's fair.
10:19There knows.
10:20We have a visual, I know.
10:21There's no opportunity there.
10:23It's still moving away from people.
10:24There few were so many people that everителей will be looking at,
10:25They'll watch
10:44it.
10:45I'm going to give this drinks.
10:53I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow.
11:02It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right?
11:05It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What?
11:10You and the town hottie?
11:12No, I mean, we're just, I don't know.
11:15I mean, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together.
11:21Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is.
11:28Oh my god, there he is.
11:29See, he can't be over me.
11:31Look at his face.
11:33Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea?
11:37So much for girl code, and I thought she was your friend.
11:40He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55It's time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have ever?
11:59Let's play.
12:04I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:18Zoe, why don't you go first?
12:20Okay, um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:28Ooh, cute.
12:31Now let's see.
12:32Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Ooh, cute.
12:42Now let's see.
12:44Never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:49Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:59Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:02Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire.
13:18Claire.
13:19Seriously, Claire?
13:24You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything.
13:27It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea.
13:30You're just jealous.
13:34You know what?
13:35You two deserve each other.
13:38Hey, dude.
13:39Are you okay?
13:40Because that game was brutal.
13:42And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know.
13:46He said he was gonna be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:50Doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little
14:01box, it all comes crashing down around me and now the one guy I might actually have real feelings
14:07for is off God knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:13So, yeah, I'm done planning.
14:16Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that.
14:33Left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:36Of course.
14:37What?
14:38Wait, wait, wait.
14:38Where are you going?
14:40Home.
14:41And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you.
14:43I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me.
14:46You just left me in there.
14:50I know.
14:51I'm sorry.
14:52I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon.
14:54Look, you were right.
14:55Jake's an ass.
14:56So, the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over?
15:04What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find
15:11someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What?
15:16I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that?
15:20Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay?
15:24You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore.
15:29All right?
15:31I want a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the rest worth taking.
15:45Come on.
16:07Slapshot 239.
16:11Take me home.
16:11Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:18Yeah.
16:19Just make sure these two dots match.
16:22They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:24Okay.
16:25I'm trusting the process.
16:27I'm just glad we get to go sag together.
16:28You never got a date, right?
16:31No date.
16:32But Damon's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have
16:42ever seen.
16:44No way.
16:45I don't even know how I got nominated.
16:48And of course, Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:52I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will
16:55do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know, it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise.
17:14Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that anyway?
17:19I don't even remember.
17:20You know, gossip travels.
17:23That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:34Yes, Damon.
17:36My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend to her.
17:41her school dance.
17:43I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird.
17:53We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why?
17:55I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02J-Z-O-E.
18:03J-Zo-E.
18:05J-Zo-E.
18:05J-Zo-E.
18:05Absolutely not.
18:07Well, more Zoe for me.
18:10Nothing's gonna keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon!
18:15Oh, it's Damon!
18:16Or should I say Claremont?
18:18Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can.
18:22Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:25Okay.
18:25Bye!
18:27Hey, beautif-
18:29What's up with your eyes?
18:31It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes.
18:40I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies.
18:45Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on, you're seriously gonna let me do this alone?
18:52You're not gonna be alone.
18:53I thought you were wrong with Zoe.
18:55Plus, if you listen very carefully,
18:58I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake, bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun,
19:06and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be?
19:17Because yours truly got nominated, and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:23I bet that is it.
19:25She's gonna be so pissed if I win in Queen for the Night.
19:29She's gonna be so pissed if I win in Queen for the Night.
19:34And then, you know, for the rest of the school year,
19:36because I would have to play in prom,
19:38and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen,
19:41and then...
19:41I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:45How could she not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king and queen stuff as much as you and Jake.
19:52It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say.
19:53You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now,
19:58but I promise, when you get out of high school,
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it,
20:12if you both are so mature,
20:14maybe you should skip the dance together,
20:16get a cheese board,
20:17and talk about all the super important adult stuff
20:22that actually matters.
20:23Oh, look.
20:25Someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean...
20:28Claire...
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:40Claire!
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa.
20:46Did Zoe do this to you?
20:48It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:51Um,
20:52I just wanted to call you
20:54and touch base
20:56and just, you know,
20:58make sure that things don't get awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04Oh, we're gonna win.
21:07Is Chelsea gonna be upset if...
21:10win?
21:11We win?
21:12If, um,
21:13if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Aw, texting someone else?
21:18It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire.
21:24I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but...
21:28I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back,
21:34I-I would.
21:36It's fine.
21:38It's fine.
21:39It's fine.
21:39Just...
21:40At least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:45Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:57Jinx!
21:57Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa.
22:05Is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:08Yeah.
22:09I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:14And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah.
22:21Me neither.
22:21I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:35Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:50You mean, this one?
22:53Oh, God.
22:54My eyes.
22:55Stop it.
22:55My eyes.
23:01What?
23:01Like, you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see.
23:07By all means.
23:08Oh, uh, sorry.
23:26Chelsea's calling me.
23:27I should get it.
23:29I'll see you later.
23:30Yeah.
23:31Yeah.
23:31Yeah.
23:32See ya.
23:32Hello?
23:33Hello?
23:34Hello?
23:34Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:52I'm just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow.
23:57You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you, are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and, I don't know, I really
24:14wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too.
24:16I, I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20How do you, how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:44My grandmother, you're just kidding.
24:45Wait, what?
24:47Nothing, nothing.
24:48I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well, how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we've got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:14This part always gets me.
25:18Yes!
25:22Yes, yes, it is so sad.
25:25Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What?
25:27No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe, cut me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow.
25:36These are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:41Classics just code for old.
25:42I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:51Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first half of the day.
25:56And then, you know, we got to party later.
25:57And then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap.
26:03Um, Nico, guitar, flames is calling who's that?
26:08I completely forgot.
26:10I have a lesson now.
26:12Is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student.
26:20And my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way, and we lost track of time.
26:28Oh, yes.
26:29I see you took my recommendation.
26:31Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not a friend.
26:38I'm a boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving.
26:43Bye, demon.
26:44I mean, I can stay.
26:46I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48No.
26:49I mean, no, no.
26:52She's right.
26:53Music is so personal.
26:55So intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59Almost never three.
27:04Young love.
27:05Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love?
27:07Who said?
27:08I don't.
27:09We.
27:11I.
27:11We don't.
27:12Um.
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:16Of course.
27:18Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:22I mean, not a bunch of times.
27:24The normal amount of times.
27:25There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know?
27:30There's just, there's a lot of stress.
27:32And then, you know, who should say it first or when you should say it or if they'll ever
27:37say it back.
27:38And maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:41Maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:46Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:58Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe.
28:00What's up?
28:01How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome.
28:07I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks.
28:11Coming home tomorrow.
28:12So, here's a funny little question for you.
28:18Claire's guitar teacher.
28:21Nico.
28:23Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking, like at all.
28:26Oh, no.
28:27He's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:32I just think it's weird.
28:34You know, she's doubled her lessons while I've been away and we're watching movies they both
28:39like.
28:39Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar
28:43player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay.
28:50I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
29:00I just don't get it.
29:01I mean, she's being so secretive about it.
29:03I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:06Yeah, Damon, I don't know.
29:08Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe?
29:12Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:18Yeah.
29:19Is that weird?
29:20I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay.
29:24You're right.
29:26You're good friends, though.
29:27Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress.
29:30I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
29:33Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Focus on that.
29:36Yeah.
29:37Thanks, man.
29:37I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Beep, beep, beep.
29:45Woof.
29:46Woof.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:51Not until tomorrow.
29:52Where's Jake?
29:52He's in the shower.
29:54He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:03So what's on the agenda?
30:04What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does Perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher?
30:14Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right.
30:15She starts dying with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:19Yeah.
30:19I set them up.
30:20He's amazing.
30:22So, so talented.
30:23So, so talented.
30:26What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn, so...
30:32Yeah, I don't know.
30:33I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great.
30:35So this is your fault.
30:36Thanks a lot.
30:36Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:40That's not, that's not true.
30:43I listen.
30:45Whatever.
30:46Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico.
30:51Every girl should have a few lessons with him.
30:53He teaches you so much.
30:56I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey brain to understand.
30:59What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:01What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages.
31:06Just, you're not, like, afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can actually have a conversation with.
31:12Are you?
31:13But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet?
31:18Oh yeah, about what, huh?
31:19Hockey?
31:20And then hockey?
31:21Oh, of course, right.
31:22There's always hockey.
31:24Seriously though, Damon, hockey's like your one true love, and it's kind of boring.
31:28I love other things.
31:31Like what?
31:31Like Claire, and I don't want her running off with some guitar-playing, art-culture-looking snob, alright?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked, and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:54So, maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes.
31:59Yeah.
32:01It's actually not terrible advice.
32:04Considered my birthday gift to you.
32:06Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So, what are you still doing here?
32:11Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:15Bye!
32:17So, what are you still doing here?
32:19Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:23Bye!
32:24Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever.
32:26Thanks, bye.
32:39Hey!
32:41I was just going to call you.
32:43You're all dressed up.
32:45Damon, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel, and this was going to be your birthday surprise, but...
32:53I just...
32:54I didn't think I could wait.
33:00Okay.
33:01Okay.
33:01You're the cream in the coffee, you're the apple of my eye.
33:15You make me want to laugh and I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Like, you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
33:26I have to say...
33:30I...
33:31I love you.
33:31I love you, too.
33:35I love you, too.
33:37Mom and steal her.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it.
33:41I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and she told me not to worry.
33:50And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:53Huh.
33:54Love.
33:55And I talked to Chelsea.
33:57Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know, she sucks.
34:00But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals.
34:10Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles.
34:14Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song?
34:22I work really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:30Blue, white, baby, as bright as the sky.
34:34Hit it in the cloud and then we're done so high.
34:37I think that you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:49Do do do do do do do do do.
34:52Do do do do do do.
34:56Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No.
35:00Claire, do not leave them there.
35:01That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:08Did you get the champagne?
35:10Yes.
35:11Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that?
35:16Claire, I'm playing with you.
35:18I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room, and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward.
35:30Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever Google that.
35:40Ever.
35:41You're not helping.
35:42So, look, this is a big night.
35:45After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean, this is it?
35:48Like, me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:51Going back to what?
35:53To Jake?
35:54Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No.
35:57Not talking.
35:58Just, I don't know, we dated for so long, it feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And, plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time.
36:12She dragged that on long enough.
36:14What's that supposed to mean?
36:15Nothing, Claire.
36:16I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal.
36:19You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it?
36:23Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh my god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you.
36:29Plus, Damon is going to be ten times better than Jake.
36:32Think about all that experience.
36:33Why would you say that?
36:36So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls.
36:42What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:45God, thanks a lot.
36:47Just what I needed.
36:48That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Oh, it's Damon.
36:54Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
36:56Bye.
36:56You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:10I'll let it slide.
37:12You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless, and you probably smell good,
37:19I'll let it slide.
37:20Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to, like, live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great.
37:37So you remember.
37:39She's back.
37:40Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight.
37:43Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:51Hmm, let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise.
37:56She just wants to stop by, show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in, like, a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not.
38:11She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work.
38:15Trust me, it's strictly a friend hang.
38:17I don't know.
38:17I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire.
38:27Come on.
38:28Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I was watching you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight.
38:35I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special.
38:42She's here.
38:42I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:52I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:00Ha ha.
39:02Funny.
39:03You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:07Wow.
39:08Which one?
39:09Please don't say Natasha.
39:11Huh.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:15Thailand.
39:17And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to
39:24ruin my perfect night.
39:25Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay.
39:30Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything.
39:33Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:37Okay.
39:38He's pretty.
39:40He does that.
39:41Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon.
39:45I don't trust her.
39:48Shit.
39:49She just posted a story.
39:51I can't look at it.
39:52She'll know.
39:52She has 80,000 followers.
39:54She's not going to see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe.
39:57You look.
40:00What is it?
40:02Are they kissing?
40:03Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:14Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it.
40:21You're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping.
40:33This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives.
40:35I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane.
40:39Damon loves you.
40:40He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo?
40:44He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling.
40:49And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him
40:54for not being a mind reader.
40:55You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be mad at him for not being a mind reader.
41:01What's going on?
41:02Why are you taking my side on this?
41:05Nothing's wrong with me.
41:06I'm just saying that, like, whatever.
41:09I gotta go.
41:10Don't trip.
41:11I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:26Hi.
41:27You calling from Reykjavik?
41:28What?
41:28Nothing.
41:31Where are you?
41:32I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened?
41:40Nothing.
41:40What?
41:40Nothing.
41:42Nothing, nothing?
41:43Or something, nothing?
41:44You were right.
41:46That was a bad idea.
41:47It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:50She hasn't changed at all.
41:51I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:56Wait.
41:57You kissed?
41:58No, no, she tried.
41:59Look, I'm really sorry, Claire.
42:01I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:03Did you want to kiss her?
42:05No way.
42:06Are you kidding?
42:07You're the only person I want to kiss.
42:08Like, ever.
42:10Why don't you say that to my face?
42:13Why don't you let me up?
42:14I'm outside.
42:16You're here?
42:18Wait, are you sure?
42:19I only have 700 followers.
42:21Please.
42:22You know she bought all those followers, right?
42:24What?
42:25100%.
42:26But do I see some black silk under there?
42:29I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on.
42:32Let me up.
42:39Keep going.
42:40Now, target zone for the tree punches, right for the front of the face.
42:43Palms are down.
42:44Elbows are tight.
42:45There we go.
42:47Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who needs to get some mushy after sex?
42:54That's awesome.
42:56And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already?
42:59Like four times.
43:01Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers?
43:06How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Damon was talking about how...
43:12Overcuts.
43:12Target zone.
43:13Where is it?
43:13Underneath the chin.
43:14Elbows tied to the body.
43:16Now.
43:17Wow.
43:18That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa, are you mad at me?
43:24Not mad.
43:24I'm just...
43:25Tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it.
43:28I mean...
43:29No, Claire.
43:29I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating
43:34Damon.
43:35I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came.
43:40And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon.
43:44And now Damon's calling me to talk about you.
43:46And I am tired of it.
43:48We're supposed to be best friends, right?
43:50I am your best friend.
43:51No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend.
43:56No, I'm your best friend, and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think
44:03it's fair to say that I've been a bad friend.
44:05I mean...
44:06Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through
44:09something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh, my God.
44:14What?
44:14Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great.
44:18I've been seeing someone, and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been exhausting not
44:25being able to just talk to you about it.
44:27You can talk to me about anything.
44:29This is so exciting.
44:30Who is it?
44:31It's not important.
44:32What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart.
44:37Come on.
44:38She didn't steal anything.
44:39It just kind of happened.
44:41I didn't think we'd get along so well, but she's just perfect.
44:48Okay, so we've established it's a girl.
44:52I mean, that shrinks the pool a little, but you still haven't given me a good enough hint.
44:56Okay, maybe she's not perfect, and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking.
45:00I don't know.
45:02I don't know what we are.
45:04It's like, we're dating, but we haven't put a label on it yet.
45:09I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:13What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:16Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:23What does Chelsea have to do with this?
45:26Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:28Hold on.
45:31You're dating Chelsea?
45:33Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea.
45:37Are you kidding me?
45:38We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake, and he's like devastated, right?
45:43Okay, but we don't care about Jake.
45:45We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair.
45:50Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:52I'm sorry, what?
45:53She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that?
46:01Aren't you in heaven with Damon?
46:02Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the
46:10she-devil herself.
46:12I would have talked you out of it.
46:14You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that?
46:19Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once,
46:27you get up on your high horse, and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:32Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh.
46:45How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:53Gross.
46:54I'm sorry, babe.
46:55I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you
46:59to tell her.
47:00That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess.
47:03I don't know.
47:03It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:07Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up,
47:11and I totally respect that.
47:13I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:17Cool.
47:21Cool.
47:23Chelsea, I really like you, and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:29I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited
47:34for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:38I don't need her.
47:39I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history
47:45to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about?
47:48Yeah, it's active.
47:50Babe, I'm serious.
47:52You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:55being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious.
47:58You guys have been friends forever, and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
48:02being the needy one.
48:03Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired.
48:06They're done.
48:08I'm over it.
48:09I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason
48:13with Claire, you just bottled up, and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up
48:17for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this, and me and Damon
48:23did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us?
48:28Or about how you were feeling?
48:30Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:35Maybe.
48:36Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:43Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:46Bad habit.
48:49Alright, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back.
48:54Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on?
48:59Chelsea?
48:59Did I open a cursed box?
49:01Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life, too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this?
49:19Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:23No?
49:24Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group, and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds.
49:29Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh, yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives.
49:35Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:39What?
49:41Nothing.
49:42I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool.
49:46Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So, maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me, then?
49:56Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:59Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no.
50:02I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:10Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone.
50:11She's the chillest person I know.
50:14I'm sorry to say it, babe.
50:15You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:19I was wrong.
50:21You're still very cute, though.
50:23And I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:30Don't hold your breath.
50:31Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this.
50:41I'm proud of you.
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course.
50:50You got this.
50:55Pick up.
50:56Please pick up.
50:57Never have I ever...
51:01Been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know.
51:15I freaked.
51:16I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter.
51:24Because this isn't about me.
51:26Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire.
51:31I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be...
51:37My person.
51:39If you're happy...
51:41I'm happy.
51:43Truly.
51:43Look, I love you, so...
51:46You're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:11I should have told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:21If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait...
52:28Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:55You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:56You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:57You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:58You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:59You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:00You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:01You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:02You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:03You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:04You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:05You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:06You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:07You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:08You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:09You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:10You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:12You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:13You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:14You have dirt to catch me up on.
53:15You have dirt to catch me up on.