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  • 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00No big deal, Kelsey. You just might be carrying Ben Lawson's baby.
00:18Yeah, I'm out of here. Kelsey, come on! We haven't been to a real party room.
00:23I think these guys are gross.
00:25So? Yeah, here to meet the love of your life. Just the love of your night.
00:29Yeah, night.
00:40Oh my god. Ben Lawson.
00:43Claremore College's resident party boy. Fuck boy. Whatever you want to call him.
00:47Good for a good time, not a long time. Makes up for it by being extremely hot.
00:53Way to go, loser.
00:59Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
01:02I think I wasn't wearing a shirt, right?
01:05Aww. Ben! You're soaked.
01:09And that's Skye. Ben's on again, mostly off again X.
01:13Let me help.
01:15I'm gonna go dry off. It's fine.
01:23I didn't know we were having a wet t-shirt contest. Not that you'd win anyway.
01:28Actually, it's not a contest.
01:33Come with me and let's get your dry clothes.
01:37Who was that girl?
01:38She's in my classes.
01:40Major weirdo.
01:42Well, Ben seems pretty into her.
01:47She's definitely gonna be a bit big on you.
01:49Kelsey.
01:58Have we met before?
01:59Kelsey?
02:00Probably not.
02:01I mean, I've never actually been to a frat party before.
02:10Okay.
02:11You can turn around.
02:12Well, um, I'm so glad we met.
02:19Because I happen to be an expert at frat party.
02:27Oh!
02:28My pink!
02:29That's...
02:38Oh!
02:39Oh!
02:46Gil!
02:47What?
02:49Oh!
02:51You wow.
02:52Wait, what?
02:53What?
02:54Oh!
03:00I feel true.
03:04Quiet on eh!
03:06Follow over all the family members!
03:08sorry it's kind of like it's kind of like a mess um it's cool you're in a fashion i like it
03:18but what is that
03:23those are my grandma's rules okay and she's actually like the one who got me in the claremore
03:32and she's kind of um strict
03:38but um i've decided to stop caring what she thinks of me so how's that going for you so far
03:46i don't know i kind of uh like breaking the rules me too
04:02wait i've never done a one night stand before is this a one night stand i mean you are like
04:10the king of hookups i have been told i happen to be very very good at hookups
04:28oh man it's over he's gone and i'll probably never see him
04:58well so much for that
05:19now the hard part how do i tell ben lawson that he is having a baby can't you just text him
05:28yeah i don't really think he wants me to text him or talk to him for that matter ever again
05:42oh sir ben back from another noble conquest i presume bro don't call it that and why not good
05:59sir did thou not ravish thine lady no i mean yeah but i don't know man i kind of felt like more than that
06:07this time dude you can't be serious
06:15um all right rule one never leave a fellow sigma behind
06:20rule two say yes to trouble and rule three don't catch feelings yeah
06:28dude dude it's for your own good dude what are you doing
06:43hunter bro match after match what are you doing knock it off give it back i told you bro plenty of
06:52efficiency efficiency
06:56i'm sure there's an explanation for it ben was totally smitten with you
07:06okay don't freak out but i just matched with ben
07:09wow you know what i knew he was a player but this is like next level it hasn't even been an hour since he left
07:24oh my god wait that asshole just texted me sorry about earlier i had fun last night would love to
07:49hang out again sometime with a smiley face emoji what a player maybe he means it
07:57yeah right do you really think he means it if he's messing around on the apps
08:00maybe he matched me by mistake or maybe you're not exclusive
08:09so you don't think it's gross to sleep with someone leave match with their best friend on some app
08:17and then pretend that he wants to hang out with her again yes no wait can you repeat the question
08:30this is super confusing
08:37no you're right you should stick to what you're good at hooking up
08:40that's all it ever was and that's all it ever will be have a nice life
08:47what does that mean why won't it send
09:12And I think it means your baby daddy blocked you.
09:19I think it means your baby daddy blocked you.
09:22What the hell?
09:24What do I do now?
09:26Gotta do it the old fashioned way.
09:29Stalk him until you can confront him IRL.
09:43Stalking kannst.
09:45Stalking kannst.
09:48wooooooooohhhhhhhhhh
10:02Verse 20
10:04earn Muss
10:07Tментs
10:08No, this one is most common.
10:11Oh, I'm going to catch you all easy.
10:21Why can't I stop puking?
10:25Because you're super pregnant, girl.
10:28I can't take this anymore.
10:38Ben Lawson.
10:40Why do you keep avoiding me?
10:41No, it's not avoiding someone if they text you to have a nice light.
10:53Okay, well, I'm sorry about that, but...
10:54I thought it was just a one-eyes day.
10:56You were?
10:57Yeah, that's what people do after a one-eyes day.
10:59They don't talk to each other anymore.
11:02Ben!
11:03Shh.
11:03Political and economic shifts.
11:23From ancient civilization to modern...
11:27M.C. Ben Benny Boy Lawson.
11:33Hunter definitely made this.
11:35Who?
11:36The guy that I met the night you and Ben.
11:39You know, we've actually been hanging out more, and I think...
11:44Okay, look, you're missing the point, okay?
11:46I mean, this is finally my chance to confront Ben.
11:48So you're going to go?
11:49I mean, if I can find something to wear.
11:53I mean, my clothes have really been fitting recently, like, you don't.
11:59Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but I just wanted to let you know that tonight's party is actually
12:04a toga party.
12:06That doesn't say it on there.
12:09Hunter didn't know how to spell toga, so he just left it off.
12:12Maybe I should stop hooking up with him.
12:16He really is dumb.
12:17So you're not going?
12:23Thanks, Scott.
12:24That was actually...
12:24Very nice of you for once.
12:27Don't mention it.
12:28This isn't a toga party, is it?
12:43What's a toga?
12:47I think I'm going to be sick.
12:53Benny, where have you been?
12:58Everyone at the party wants you.
13:03Especially me.
13:04Scott, I already told you.
13:06I don't think we should be together.
13:08What about just for tonight?
13:11I'm tired of your mind games.
13:13You're always planning something.
13:14Right now, I'm just planning on kissing you.
13:28I don't think I'm going to be sick.
13:36Kelsey!
13:49Kelsey!
13:50Wait!
13:52Wow.
13:53Ditching me for that loser is like you have feelings for her.
13:56You know what, Skye?
13:58Maybe I do.
14:04So?
14:05Did you tell him?
14:06Hmm.
14:07You know, in hindsight, telling someone you're pregnant at a fraternity party?
14:10Not such a great idea.
14:13You can't keep putting this off, Kelsey.
14:16You know, maybe I shouldn't even tell him at all.
14:19I mean, it's not like Ben Lawson is going to want to settle down and play house.
14:24Hmm.
14:25No.
14:26You know, if it's up to me, Ben is never going to know about this.
14:31Maybe?
14:32Oh, this is too good.
14:38I can't believe you talked me into this.
14:41I need a drink.
14:42Okay, it's only a matter of time until you start, you know, showing.
14:46This could be our last hurrah.
14:48Yeah, I'm going to pour my last hurrah, but whatever.
14:54Ooh, I'm going to go check out the snack.
15:00Kelsey!
15:01Where's your drink?
15:02You can't be caught empty-handed on senior night.
15:05Hmm, no.
15:07I'm okay, Skye.
15:08No!
15:09Here!
15:10I insist.
15:12Yeah, I'm really not in the mood.
15:13Come on.
15:15It's just one beer.
15:16It can't hurt, right?
15:17Hey!
15:18No, Skye.
15:25Yo!
15:27What's going on?
15:28Yeah, Kelsey.
15:30Why don't you tell Ben what's going on?
15:32Knock it off, Skye.
15:33She doesn't have to drink if she doesn't want to.
15:35Yeah, you're right.
15:37That would probably be bad for the baby.
15:40Baby?
15:40What baby?
15:42What baby?
15:48Kelsey, what baby?
15:51Come on.
15:54Well, awkward.
15:56Yeah, for you.
15:57Why would you do that to her?
15:59You really are a heartless bitch.
16:01But...
16:01I don't want to see you around Kelsey.
16:04Or me.
16:05Ever.
16:08Looks like your day's parting at Sigma House are over.
16:12Come here, E. I just want to be alone right now, okay?
16:22Please!
16:31It's the baby mine.
16:33Kelsey, it's the baby mine.
16:34Kelsey!
16:35Would it matter if it was?
16:39Would it matter if it was?
16:40Of course it would matter if it was mine.
16:43Because you're...
16:45I'm good.
16:47You!
16:48You're Ben Lawson.
16:50You're like the king of hookups, the prince of partying, the sultan of sex.
16:53The sultan of sex.
16:55Yeah, and I'm just...
16:57I mean...
16:58I don't do one-night stands.
17:01You do.
17:01With you!
17:02And only you, so...
17:05Yeah, the baby's yours, Ben.
17:06Look, I don't sleep around, okay?
17:10And when I do, the one time that I do, I don't pretend that it doesn't mean anything.
17:16Hold on.
17:17I never said that.
17:19You said that.
17:20You literally matched with my best friend on some dating app as soon as you left here,
17:24and you were still messing around with Skye.
17:26Not on any apps.
17:27And about Skye...
17:28Look, Ben, it doesn't even matter.
17:29You can do whatever it is that you want to do, okay?
17:32But I'm keeping this baby, whether you like it or not.
17:36I mean, my mom was a single mom, and I turned out fine.
17:40I mean, I'm 21 and pregnant, like super broke, but I'm fine.
17:44I want to be a part of this baby's life.
17:46Look, I know you...
17:47But you do.
17:50Yes.
17:51More than anything.
17:53My mom was alone.
17:54My dad was never around.
17:56I promised myself that if I ever had kids, I'd do anything for them.
18:00Well, what about Sigma and all of your friends and Skye?
18:06I don't care about that anymore.
18:09You know, someone wise recently inspired me to stop thinking about what everyone thinks
18:14and just live my life for myself.
18:18I know what it's like to go through life alone.
18:23All in goes.
18:25You like me.
18:26I know your little secret.
18:44I know your little secret.
18:48You broke one of my rules, Kelsey Barrington.
18:52I don't know what you're talking about.
18:53I think you do.
18:56I want you in my office first thing tomorrow morning.
19:02Wow, she just hung up on me.
19:04Who was that?
19:06That was my grandma.
19:09The one who made the rules.
19:11The whole reason the rules exist is because...
19:13my mom got pregnant with me in college.
19:19And she had to drop out and raise me all by herself.
19:23Alone.
19:25My grandma didn't want that to happen to me, so...
19:28now it has.
19:29But you're not alone.
19:34And we're here.
19:36You're not here for me.
19:37We're not together.
19:41Remember how you said how hard it is to go through life alone?
19:45Yeah.
19:46Ben Lawson?
19:50I want you to be my boyfriend.
19:51Well, like, my fake boyfriend.
19:58What?
20:00Okay, look.
20:01My grandma might know about the baby,
20:03but she doesn't know about you or us.
20:05And if she thinks that we are in a responsible and committed relationship,
20:08she just might let me stay in school.
20:11Graduate or, you know.
20:14Like, live.
20:14Okay, but a fake relationship?
20:19Okay, well, I wouldn't expect you to actually date me.
20:21You can still go off and sleep around.
20:25Do whatever you want to do, okay?
20:29But, I mean, if Skye thought we were dating,
20:32then she might leave you alone.
20:33I mean, if that's what you want.
20:35Okay.
20:37Hear me out.
20:40Or we could, I don't know, actually date.
20:44And, you know, like, make this work for the baby.
20:50I don't want to be your pity girlfriend, Ben.
20:54Look, I don't want to be Skye or another one of your fangirls.
21:00I just want to survive some new year.
21:05So, what do you say?
21:13Okay.
21:14Let's do this.
21:17But, shouldn't we get to know each other a little bit better?
21:20Just so people don't get suspicious.
21:23I like your thinking, Wilson.
21:30Welcome to Ben and Kelsey 101.
21:36One.
21:37All right.
21:39Time to hit the books.
21:49Okay.
21:50What is my dog's name?
21:52Sir Fluffington?
21:53Sir Fluffington?
21:55No, wait.
21:56Wrong.
21:57Sir Douglas McFluffington.
21:59Okay.
22:00Okay.
22:01What's the name of my cat?
22:03Easy.
22:04Hannah.
22:06And what kind of crazy person has a human name that would pet me?
22:09Okay.
22:11Because Sir Douglas Fluffington III is so much better.
22:16Okay.
22:18What do I want to be when I grow up?
22:20Another easy one.
22:21You want to be a fashion designer.
22:22I hate to break it to you, but you are grown up.
22:27I'm going to be a kid soon.
22:28Shh.
22:29Wait.
22:30What do you want to be when you grow up?
22:33I'm also having a kid soon.
22:35It's kind of funny how that works.
22:36No, like, what do you want to be when you grow up?
22:41I don't know, actually.
22:44Wait, so you're a senior in college and you haven't thought about the future?
22:52Honestly, I didn't think I was going to make it this far.
22:56I was never really good at school and...
23:00Wait.
23:03A dad.
23:04Always wanted to be a dad.
23:06Looks like my dreams are coming true.