- 6/8/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:08Smell a cheerleader camp in the morning
00:30Oh
01:00No, no Felice you need to lock a Hy-Vee in the
01:13Brit would you be a sweetheart and show Felice a Hy-Vee
01:20Ladies this isn't some pillow fighting slumber sleepaway camp for sexually frustrated women you're here to work
01:28You're here to
01:42Excuse me
01:54Hi, excuse me, can you just
01:58Oh
02:00Tell me which
02:02One second
02:05Man you really like cheerleading, huh? Please hold on one second
02:12Oh my god, she's a professional
02:21All right, let me see
02:23Mike maintenance, huh?
02:25Me too
02:27I'll show you your cabin
02:29Quick, um, why was that girl not wearing...
02:40Oh, that is an excellent question
02:42In the immortal words of Mr. Justin Timberlake
02:46Wardrobe malfunction
02:48But I can see your ass
02:49Did you really?
02:50Yeah
02:51Good, that's what they hope the judges will see
02:53You see, Mikey
02:54You see, Mikey
02:55Michael
02:56Those young, soft, perfect, thrusting, throbbing
03:01Okay, now you're just saying adjectives
03:03This is cheerleader camp, man
03:05A place for those girls to come and learn their skills and hone their craft and to compete ultimately on a national
03:11Albeit regional cable stage for the whole world to see
03:14Okay, but she was naked
03:16Okay, who judges these things?
03:18Um, judges, I guess
03:20Horny old men judges
03:22Who find it better to masturbate to these adolescent girls carrying pom-poms in person than to download this shit for free off the internet
03:31Okay
03:33But why is she naked now?
03:35I mean, there's no judges here
03:41Oh, wow
03:43That guy's pretty good
03:44Oh, yeah
03:45That's Trey
03:46He's the head of the whole janitorial maintenance department
03:53So seriously, this is the place to be for the summer
03:56It's like pussy central
03:57All these hot, young girls
03:59Away from their boyfriends
04:01All sexed up
04:03And all the other guys are gay
04:04Wait, what?
04:05All the guys are gay?
04:06All of them, except for me
04:08And
04:09What?
04:10Oh, my God
04:11You're gay
04:12What?
04:13You're a bone smoker
04:15What?
04:16Fudge packer, poop pusher, sausage jockey
04:19How do you say it in your language?
04:20What language?
04:21The gay language
04:22Look, hey, I'm fine with it
04:24I was curious when I was 13
04:26Wanted to see what a dick looked like
04:27Picked up a few magazines
04:28It's cool
04:29All right, well, there is no language
04:31I'm not gay
04:32Okay
04:33Oh, Jinkies
04:34I am so sorry
04:36It's all right, dude
04:37New meat
04:38You a cheerleader, handsome?
04:40Uh, no, uh, maintenance
04:42Then you work well with a stick
04:44Jesus
04:45Hey, big guy
04:46Hi, Sean
04:47Oh, my God
04:50Oh, my God
04:52I know who you are
04:53I
04:55I don't know you
04:56Oh, I know you
04:57Have you guys met in a bar?
04:58Truck stop?
04:59Bathroom?
05:00Hotel room?
05:01YouTube
05:02I gotta go
05:03You're the choker
05:05Choker
05:06Choker?
05:07The gay language
05:09What does that mean?
05:11So the thing is, the past couple years
05:12I've been a little heavy
05:13But I've been on this new diet plan
05:15And I've lost some weight
05:16So I really think this is gonna be my year
05:18Oh, well, good for you, man
05:19Thanks
05:23Oh, be careful what you touch
05:24It gets a little sticky in here
05:27Alright, this is our room
05:29See?
05:33This is our bunk
05:37You can take this one
05:39I'll take the top
05:42Oh, thank goodness
05:44My diet aids have arrived
05:46I've been waiting all week for these
05:48Oh, yeah?
05:49Some special food or something?
05:52Yeah
05:53Sort of
05:57You, uh, drop your flashlight
05:58I think it's broken
06:02What is the lax?
06:03It's not a real flashlight
06:04It's a badge light, see?
06:06It's great for my masturbation diet
06:11Come on, it's the greatest
06:12You know, it's the first diet
06:13That I've ever been able to stick to, you know?
06:15And I've tried them all
06:16I've tried the Atkins
06:17And the Zone
06:19But, you know, with this one
06:20You know, they say
06:21That a diet won't work
06:22Unless you can really stick to it
06:23For your whole life
06:26And with this one
06:27I don't really think I can
06:29You're joking, right?
06:30I mean, masturbation diet
06:32There's no way that can exist
06:34Yeah, well, tell that to Dr. Sakamura
06:36Who invented it
06:37I mean, it's huge in Japan
06:38It just hasn't caught on in America yet
06:40But it will
06:41I'm like an early adopter
06:46See, every time you spooge
06:47You burn, like, a hundred calories
06:49So, all you have to do
06:50Is keep the number of spooge sessions
06:52Over the number of calories you eat in your set
06:55Then I can eat pretty much whatever I want
06:57See, I've already lost, like, five pounds
07:00Well, I don't know, maybe, like, three
07:03You know, I don't think that's my bunk
07:05What?
07:06Um, yeah, I'm gonna get another one
07:10Uh, that's cool
07:12Well, we could stick around
07:14Read some magazines
07:15Get naked
07:24Oh!
07:27Are you okay?
07:29I'm so sorry
07:30I'm...
07:31Oh, my God, are you okay?
07:32Me?
07:33No, you
07:34I tripped
07:35I tripped into you
07:37Oh, no, no
07:38I'm fine, really
07:40You're really hot
07:41What?
07:42Sweating
07:43Oh
07:45I mean, you know, you're really hot there
07:46In, you know, in your beaver
07:48I mean, you know, you're just bright pink
07:52In your, uh, your beaver
07:54Costume
07:56Okay, uh, let me get you some water
07:59No, no, no, I'm fine
08:00Really
08:01You're really good
08:02At falling?
08:03No
08:04I mean, no, backflips
08:06I saw you earlier
08:07Are you a cheerleader?
08:08No
08:10Oh, you look really familiar
08:15Well, I used to, I used to be a gymnast
08:19Did I give you permission to take your mask off, rodent?
08:22Rodent?
08:25Move it, move it
08:26You owe me a backflip
08:27Um
08:29Michael
08:33This is an exciting year for cheerleader camp
08:35Not only will our final event be aired on sports channel
08:39And not only will the winners receive a partial college scholarship
08:44But with us today is cheerleader camp's first ever celebrity judge
08:50Miss Charlene Tilton
08:51Many years ago, Charlene and I shared a common path
08:55We both went to the same high school
08:57Although Charlene came some years before me
09:00Her legacy carried on
09:02No matter what I did, I could never live up to her reputation
09:05Nothing could even compare to the Queen Charlene Tilton
09:09Although I didn't have the same advantages as she did
09:12Daddy's bankroll, the boob job, the nose job, the tummy tuck
09:15What was I saying?
09:16It was Charlene made the varsity cheerleading squad
09:19And because of her naked persistence and her lust for success, so to speak
09:24This led her to the glamour of Hollywood
09:26And she landed a star role on Dallas
09:30And I ended up here
09:32Here
09:35This led her to the glamour of Hollywood
09:38And she landed a star role on Dallas
09:41And I ended up here
09:43I'll be in my cabin getting a drink
09:49Miss Charlene Tilton, everyone
09:58She looks pissed
10:00I'd do her
10:02So, well Charlene's obviously a big celebrity
10:04And she needs to get her rest
10:06Do they all keep the costumes on?
10:08The mascots?
10:10It's like a law of the mascots
10:11I'm not sure to take advantage of this movie
10:13Well, how do they eat?
10:15With the, you know, the mask on and everything
10:17I don't know, but that girl is totally giving you the eye
10:22How can you tell?
10:24Oh, you could tell
10:26Just look
10:28Did you see that?
10:30Right there
10:32What?
10:33Come on, it's not the eye eye
10:34You gotta look, look at the body language
10:36Look at that
10:37Oh my god
10:38Dude, you should totally go talk to her
10:40Really?
10:41I'm serious
10:42Dude, oh my god, she's smiling at you
10:43Really?
10:44You gotta go
10:45I'll go
10:46If you're not going, I'm going
10:47I'm going
10:48I'm leaving
10:49I'm gonna go do it
10:50I'll go, then go
10:51I'll go, then go
10:52Get up and go then
10:53If you leave, then leave, then leave
10:54I'm going
10:56Hi
11:00Uh
11:01It's really good to see you
11:04You remember you from before
11:05Yeah
11:07I hope, you know, you're feeling better now
11:09And, uh, you know, you're, uh
11:11You're cooling off
11:12Because you were really hot
11:14Before from running
11:16Oh, thank you
11:17Well, I'm happy to see you here
11:20And, obviously, we wouldn't be anywhere else
11:22Because we're both here
11:23here. And, oh, where are we going? Um, so, um, why, uh, why, why are we here? Do you want
11:45it? I'm going to take the mask off. Now I want to, no, you don't want it. It's, uh, very.
11:55Hey, Michael? Oh, no. Wait, wait. Uh, wait, hold on. Just, hey, sexy. What the? I, I thought
12:07that was a girl. Uh, I didn't know. How dare you fooling around out here with this little
12:14man pussy? I'm not gay. Sure, you might be impressing this little monkey ass here. I'm
12:18not a ass. But I will not let you disrespect the squirrel image like that. Take it off
12:22right now. Oh, he's naked. Just leave it on. Look, I, I swear, okay, I didn't know that this
12:34was a guy. I thought it was, no, I'm not gay. It's okay. Don't be ashamed. It's cheer camp.
12:42We're very accepting of gays here. Wait, just don't. Hold on a second. Wait, stop, stop,
12:46stop. Bottoms up.
12:59Well, this is going to cost me like eight sessions.
13:03Hey, man, how'd it go? It was a guy. The mascot. It wasn't her. It was a squirrel and
13:11a guy. Right. I was wondering about that. Those beaver teeth didn't look quite beaver-y
13:20enough. You knew this? And you didn't bother to tell me before I put my hands all over his
13:25ass? Beaver, squirrel, it's the same difference. Plus, you were already gone by the time I realized.
13:30You know, wait, you touched it? Did it move? Even a little? Stop it. Well, I mean, it kind
13:37of figures. I mean, in the real world, you're not exactly a chick magnet. What? Hey, look,
13:41man, I'd have a fighting chance if you didn't just make everyone think that I was gay all
13:45the time. You're doing a fabulous job of that all by yourself. You know what? I bet you could
13:49never get two really super hot chicks to let you fuck them at the same time. What? What?
13:54How do we even get to that? That's my goal for the summer. Two chicks at the same time.
13:59Three sixty-nine is a real calorie burner. You're joking, right? Are you kidding me? Did you not
14:06have a childhood? That's like every little boy's fantasy, man. You know, it's like the difference
14:10between pounding it out in a sock, which is, you know, like, that's okay, and like fucking a
14:16watermelon, which is incredible. Wait a minute. Fucking a watermelon? Are you kidding? You never
14:23stuck your dick in a watermelon? Um, you know, let me think about that one. Nope. It's the best.
14:29You know, I used to do it all the time before my diet aids came. You know, I was in this very
14:33kitchen fucking away. Hey, look, here's one right now. This one's mine. Dude, someone can eat
14:41that, man. You know, your dick has less germs than your hands do. Oh. So that's a little piece
14:45of knowledge. All right, Stallion, let's make a little bet. Whoever can get two chicks to
14:50let you fuck them at the same time first wins. You know, I've never said anything about being
14:57a Stallion, and just so you know, I'm fine with one, okay? I'm going to focus on that.
15:02Huh? Yeah. Why not? Whatever. One's good. Hey, guys. Uh, what's this out here about a bet?
15:10There is no bet. Uh, yes, there is a bet. We're seeing who can get a three-way first.
15:15Just to clarify, with two girls. Well, I'll take a piece of that action. What's the winner
15:20get? Um, besides having sex with two chicks, the glory, man. The glory. Works for me.
15:27Come on, guys. Let's go clean up. Come on. Oh, fine, Mr. Watermelon. Great.
15:31No, no! Wait, no, don't eat that. What? What's wrong? It's my butt, right? It's too big.
15:50Natalia keeps telling me I cannot eat anything with sugar. No, no, no. You're... No, no.
15:55It's not your butt. Your butt is, uh, perfect. I mean... Um, yeah? You know... Oh, I'm sure
16:01you tell all the mascots that. Oh, I... I didn't mean it. Oh, no. Um, listen, about that.
16:09Look, I know what it looked like, but... Hey, newbie. I need you to take out the trash,
16:14okay? Anyway, um... Trey is so cute. Am I right? What? I...
16:24Let's hear it for the beaver!
16:48I'm gonna wake ya!
16:54Boy, they've gotten really great issues.
17:11They might actually even win.
17:14Win's the number two spot, you mean.
17:20Check the microphone!
17:24All right, so here's the basic method to changing light bulbs.
17:44It's really a science, all right?
17:46You climb up in the rafters, and you change the light bulb.
17:49But once you're there, you stay up there as long as you can
17:52so the girls forget about you.
17:53And then it's like a porno.
17:55Seriously, they start touching each other?
17:57Right.
17:58I'm serious! It's great!
18:00It's especially helpful for those little, you know,
18:02deposits to the spank bank, which, I don't know about you,
18:05but my account is running a little low
18:07with almost 10 withdrawals a day, if you know what I mean.
18:12Masturbation.
18:13Sure.
18:13Wait, don't you want to knock?
18:15You go first?
18:16Okay.
18:17Damn it!
18:19It's empty.
18:30Okay.
18:33All right.
18:33This is it.
18:34This is where the magic happens.
18:38All right.
18:38And a new one.
18:47Okay, let's go.
18:49This is coming up.
18:53Holy pussy.
18:56You're coming in to take a shower?
18:58What?
19:02You're going to take a shower?
19:03Let's go.
19:04I think I pulled a hammy.
19:06Are you betting us?
19:07You should go see Mrs. Simmons after your shower
19:09and ask for the...
19:10Talk to them after practice.
19:11Yeah, everything is okay, as they said,
19:13as long as you get the assurance from the school.
19:15Since I'll do.
19:16Great.
19:18I'll get the registration paper.
19:21Ladies, can I talk to you for a minute?
19:25I'm concerned about a little weight gain.
19:29Oh, Britt.
19:30I promise, it's just PMS.
19:31I'm a little bloated is all.
19:32Yeah, Britt, me too.
19:33It's PMS, definitely.
19:35Well, it does seem like your boobs are a little bigger.
19:39Let me see.
19:40Yeah, yeah, they're definitely bigger.
19:44Yeah, they're huge.
19:46I mean, there must be, like, a D now.
19:50What are you guys doing?
19:52We're just comparing breast sizes.
19:59Oh, shit.
20:01What are you doing here?
20:03What are you doing here, you purr?
20:03I'm just changing the world.
20:04Oh, you stupid chicken medicine.
20:06Sir, you're out of here.
20:09Yeah!
20:09Purr!
20:12Seriously?
20:14Hey, man, that was awesome.
20:16I must have burned, like, 400 calories with that.
20:19I love European women.
20:20Hey, I'm going to head back to the cabin for round two.
20:23Okay.
20:35I didn't order this.
20:37Crap.
20:39My parents sent it.
20:42It's a pummel horse.
20:43Your parents want you to be gay?
20:46No.
20:47It's, um, it's for gymnastics.
20:49They just thinking, um, never mind.
20:53What do we got under here?
20:55Yeah, I see a space for something under there.
20:56I could put, like, a couple, you know, dildos or something under there.
20:59The tickler.
21:00You know?
21:01And slide across it.
21:03Hop on.
21:04Pump through a couple of times.
21:07Got a bow on it and everything.
21:09I just really want you to be gay.
21:11And maybe put, I like that.
21:12Put the badge right here.
21:14That's good.
21:14And pump.
21:15And maybe somebody tickle my butthole.
21:16Yeah.
21:16That would really get up.
21:17Seriously.
21:19And do you get really sweaty on this?
21:21I bet you get really sweaty.
21:22I would slip off.
21:23See, we're going to need to get some high-grip tape so I don't slip off.
21:26Because I'd get going.
21:27And if I get going with the lube and shit, I'm going to fly right off if I'm not locked onto it.
21:34Time to wake up and sneak back into your own box.
21:38It's time to cheer!
21:53So the trick is, just turn this on like this, and...
22:09We're not the bracelet!
22:15Is everything with you a beer commercial?
22:23Ah, yes.
22:27Come on, you guys!
22:28Keep going!
22:33He's going to pick her up.
22:34He's going to pick her up.
22:34Here it comes.
22:35Here it comes.
22:35Here it comes.
22:36All I know, I cannot find your outer sight, not out of mind.
22:45Let's have a big round of applause for the squirrels!
23:13Thank you, squirrels!
23:15And next up, we have the beavers!
23:19Pick her up, beavers!
23:24Where's Natalia?
23:25Where's Zach and Zahn?
23:28Miss Simmons, we can't start now.
23:31But, Miss Simmons, our captain's not here.
23:36Just go anyway!
23:42Bad, bad, bad, bad boy Blake!
23:45I hold the sound!
23:46I hold the bass!
23:47I hold the Everest!
23:48I take theана!
23:49I hold the music!
23:49And I Dana play the byte!
23:53I!!!
23:54I name it!
23:54Split, euphoon!
23:55Stop!
23:56Stop!
23:56KUT!
23:57The music!
23:58Natalia!
23:59You need to be up here!
24:00I'm sorry Miss Simmons!
24:02Oh, I forgot to tell you, they joined my team.
24:07Oh!
24:08Ladies!
24:09Please!
24:10These are off of me!
24:11Or you're both suspended.
24:12Now, what happened?
24:15Natalia and the boys just wanted to be on the winning team for once, that's all.
24:19There is no rule against them joining our team.
24:21But they cannot do that, can they?
24:24Well, I'm gonna have to have a look, but something tells me...
24:26If they are injured at this camp, they can join any team they want.
24:29My father's lawyer checked the bylaws.
24:31It's perfectly legit.
24:33But, what are we gonna do then?
24:36Well, if you can't get more members to perform, I'm sorry, but you're not gonna be able to compete.
24:41I mean, you can always stay here at camp and work on your skills, but...
24:45But, then we're not gonna be eligible for the scholarship!
24:48Aww, did the skanky beaver want to go to college?
24:56Dude, it just really sucks for them, man.
24:59I bet those girls are really vulnerable right now.
25:04I bet we could convince them to have a three-way with us.
25:07I don't wanna have sex with you and a girl.
25:09Oh, dude, will you stop being so frickin' faggy?
25:12I don't wanna have sex with you!
25:13I wanna have sex with them!
25:15And you might be there.
25:17Strictly for moral support.
25:20Hold on.
25:21Hey!
25:22Hey!
25:23Hey, hi!
25:24Uh, I never got your name, uh, earlier.
25:26It doesn't matter.
25:27I'm leaving.
25:30It's Sophie.
25:31Sophie.
25:32Look, Mrs. Simmons is looking for more cheerleaders.
25:36Why don't you just do that?
25:38I can't.
25:39I can't do what they do.
25:40You could do a double backflip with a 40-pound beaver on your back.
25:4450 pounds.
25:46But I'm...
25:47I'm not cheerleading material.
25:50It would be really great.
25:52I just...
25:53I look better inside a costume, not outside of it, if you know what I mean.
25:58Not really.
25:59Look, do you want that scholarship?
26:01Forget it.
26:02How'd the girls are leaving tonight, the rest of us in the morning?
26:05Do you want the scholarship or not?
26:08Hey, Mikey!
26:09Come on!
26:10We gotta go fix that window!
26:17Get that fucking trash, too.
26:26Dude, just forget her, okay?
26:29She's one girl.
26:31One girl who will never, ever let you fuck her while she's going down on another chick.
26:37I mean, that's just the facts.
26:38That's the way it is.
26:39But here's the best part.
26:41There are a million girls here who would love to do that for you.
26:45You know, if she had her own squad, she'd be able to realize just how good she really is.
26:51Yeah, right.
26:52So now all we need to do is find a place with a bunch of limber, athletic girls
26:56who look good in practically no clothes,
26:59who are willing to dance around on stage in front of a bunch of people.
27:03If such a place existed, I'd be there all the time.
27:05I don't know.
27:06This doesn't just be cool.
27:07It's going to be awesome, all right?
27:08Look, dude.
27:09We're not going into the back and fucking you with some stupid...
27:11No, no, no, no.
27:12It's not like that.
27:13Real cheerleaders for a...
27:14It's a real cheerleading competition, okay?
27:15And there's going to be college scholarships for the winners.
27:17What's that?
27:18College?
27:19College?
27:20College.
27:21Well, what would he do?
27:22A lot of good that's going to do us here.
27:24Oh, shit.
27:25What?
27:26Oh, I got to do it.
27:27A lot of good that's going to do us here.
27:28Oh, man.
27:29Oh, man.
27:30What?
27:31Oh, man.
27:32What?
27:33Oh, man.
27:34Oh, man.
27:35Oh, man.
27:36Oh, man.
27:37Oh, man.
27:38Oh, man.
27:39Oh, man.
27:40Oh, man.
27:41Oh, man.
27:42Yeah.
27:43Oh, shit.
27:50Leave me.
27:51Let's keep something out of here.
27:52Hey.
27:53Hey, hey, hey.
27:55Michael.
27:55Um, Michael, did you say something about a scholarship?
27:59Yeah.
28:00Um, it's, uh, you know, partial scholarship.
28:04That's, you know.
28:05Oh, shit.
28:06Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
28:08Whoa.
28:13Shh, Sean.
28:14What are you doing here?
28:16Right.
28:16That's why you're all naked walking down El Paso de Gabo.
28:20Michael?
28:20What?
28:22Michael?
28:24Is that you?
28:25Yeah.
28:26What are you doing here?
28:28Uh, skinny dipping.
28:31Here?
28:32Now?
28:33Sure.
28:34It's the perfect time of night.
28:36Join me?
28:37Um.
28:38Well.
28:40Mmm.
28:41Cold stuff.
28:41You're gay, so.
28:42Okay.
28:43What?
28:48Stop.
28:48Stop.
28:49Stop.
28:50Are you okay?
28:51Fine.
28:52Yeah.
28:54It's good.
29:01Stop.
29:04Am I making you nervous?
29:06No.
29:06No.
29:07Not at all.
29:08Okay.
29:12Wow.
29:15Stop.
29:16Stop.
29:16Michael, what is wrong?
29:19Um, listen, sister.
29:21He's with me.
29:21Oh.
29:23No, I'm not.
29:24Yes, you are.
29:26That's not what it looks like.
29:26Wait, Dad.
29:27Is this?
29:28Look.
29:28I, I...
29:29I'm not with you.
29:30What are you talking about?
29:31Wait, um, I'm leaving tomorrow and you two make a great couple.
29:37No, we don't make a lovely couple.
29:39Not at...
29:39Wait, no, we don't make you.
29:42And what the fuck is your problem?
29:43We...
29:44Fuck.
29:45Oh, Miss Tilton?
30:00Yeah?
30:01Nothing.
30:02It's great you're doing this.
30:04I'm thrilled.
30:04What are you, 12?
30:07You don't even know who I am.
30:09Oh, you're wrong.
30:11You're an inspiration to these girls.
30:14Really?
30:14Oh, well, you've probably seen me on reruns of Happy Days, Married with Children, or maybe
30:22even my starring role in Problem Child, too.
30:25Classics.
30:26More importantly, you were a varsity cheerleader that made something of herself.
30:30Oh, thanks.
30:34I'm sorry about what happened to your team today.
30:37That Britney is a piece of work, isn't she?
30:40Hey, but listen, you're just gonna have to toughen up there, kid.
30:45That kind of thing is gonna plague you your whole life, huh?
30:49Aw.
30:51So, are you gonna quit?
30:54Do I have a choice?
30:56No.
30:57You should quit.
30:59Hey, Britney's ruled this world.
31:03You know.
31:03Uh, thanks.
31:06Sure.
31:11Ah.
31:12I still got it.
31:24Yeah, it's too bad we can't share.
31:26It sucks.
31:28Yeah, I know.
31:29What can you do about it?
31:32Michael?
31:34Aren't you going to say goodbye?
31:36Uh, look.
31:41About last night, it, uh...
31:44Oh, no, no.
31:46It's not like that.
31:48No.
31:49No, no, no, no, no.
31:50I, um, it's...
31:52I interrupted Sean while he was giving Michael head.
31:55No!
31:56That's...
31:56You know what?
31:59I give up.
32:00Um, have a great summer, okay?
32:03Uh, you're a really great girl.
32:10And I'm sorry again about last night.
32:13I'm so embarrassed.
32:19Hold on.
32:20Oh.
32:21Uh.
32:23Have a good day.
32:24Okay.
32:25All right.
32:28Hit it!
32:34Michael!
32:35Liz!
32:36Hey, uh, our welcoming committee.
32:38You know them?
32:42Yeah.
32:43Who are you?
32:45We're the beavers, Tiny Tits.
32:48Okay, girl.
32:49Hit it.
32:49Rim.
32:51R-I-M.
32:54Through the rim.
32:58Sink it in.
32:59Sink it in.
33:00Sink it in.
33:01Sink it in.
33:02Sink it in.
33:03Sink it in.
33:05Sink it in.
33:06Sink it in.
33:07Sink it in.
33:08Sink it in.
33:08Granted, they're not real cheerleaders yet,
33:12but they move really, really well.
33:14They want to perform really well on TV,
33:16and you can train them to do that.
33:19Are they even enrolled in school?
33:25Actually, we thought of that.
33:27They're going to enroll in the online Phoenician University,
33:29the same one that Andy's in,
33:30and then they're just going to drop out
33:32when the competition's over.
33:34Um, okay.
33:36That's...
33:38Thank you so much.
33:40But the competition's in six days,
33:42and I...
33:43I'm just a mascot.
33:45Ooh, look at the new beavers.
33:53I guess somebody should have told them
33:55it's a cheerleading competition,
33:56not a freak show.
33:58Oh, look how sad.
34:01They think that they can do this
34:02with all these freaks and sluts.
34:05Oh, look, now the mascot's joining the team.
34:11I'm not a mascot.
34:13I'm a cheerleader.
34:16Oh, yeah?
34:18We'll see.
34:20Yeah, we'll see you at the competition.
34:21Did anyone hear what I just said?
34:30It was like I was in a trance,
34:31and I was like...
34:33You're a cheerleader.
34:36We're all cheerleaders.
34:39Go beavers!
34:45Hey, hey, it's time to fight.
34:48Everybody yell it green and white.
34:50Hey, hey, it's time to fight.
34:53Everybody yell it green and white.
34:55Hey, hey, it's time to fight.
34:57Cinnamon, could you maybe take out your gun?
35:00You're not supposed to be...
35:01Oh, no, no, no.
35:02I need it to keep count with the cheer.
35:04See?
35:07Hey, hey, it's time to fight.
35:10Everybody yell it green and white.
35:13You know, I really hope they can pull it off.
35:16Looks like they're about to pull something off.
35:18But much better,
35:19and could you maybe take off your heels this time?
35:24And...
35:24Oh, your shirt.
35:25Could you just close it up just a little bit?
35:28Much better.
35:29And make sure you have some really tight Vs
35:31and great facial.
35:32Everybody yell it green and white.
35:35Hey, hey, it's time to fight.
35:37Everybody yell it green and white.
35:40What are you doing?
35:41That's my V.
35:42Nice and tight.
35:44That is a vagina, and I like it.
35:45Yeah.
35:47And what are you doing with your face right now?
35:50You said facials, right?
35:54I don't know.
36:00It's just not working.
36:01I mean, they have some skills,
36:05but I cannot bring us together.
36:08We have no discipline.
36:11I can't give it to them.
36:13You used to be a gymnast.
36:16Why don't you join the squad?
36:18You could really use some muscle.
36:20Uh, I can't.
36:24You know, I just...
36:26I'm sorry, you know?
36:29What's he doing?
36:31What, that?
36:32That's, uh...
36:33That's just some Eastern meditation thing.
36:36Did you see that?
36:38I think that's the kind of discipline
36:40we need for this team.
36:42That?
36:43No, no, no, no.
36:43That's kickboxing.
36:45That's totally different than cheerleading.
36:46Uh, it's...
36:47I don't think so.
36:49All sports have the same basic ideas in common.
36:52I think...
36:53I'm gonna go talk to him.
36:55Okay.
36:55I'll talk to you later.
37:02Whew!
37:03It's a good workout.
37:05Must have burned 126 calories with that one.
37:08Whew.
37:09Oh, hey.
37:19You know, I think she's gonna ask Trey to join the team.
37:21Oh, yikes.
37:24Well, come on, man.
37:26We gotta go clean up the kitchen anyway.
37:32You know, maybe it won't lead to anything with them.
37:34Maybe they really are just disgusting cheerleader business, right?
37:40Yeah, right.
37:50Ugh.
37:56Mmm.
37:57Mmm.
37:59Wow, it's so good.
38:01I'm about ready to put it on my chair.
38:03Your chair?
38:06My cap's never less as easy as it's too fattening.
38:08Really?
38:09Well, anytime you want, I got the keys to the kingdom.
38:13I can get you anything you'd like.
38:16Feliz, come on.
38:17We gotta go.
38:18We both have practice tonight.
38:19Let's go.
38:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
38:22Okay, we could hang out later, maybe.
38:24Oh, no, it's not fair to have plans with Rhonda.
38:26Although, maybe we could both come if you give us the one thing that we really, really love.
38:34What is the one thing that you really, really love?
38:37Chocolate.
38:38With the penis.
38:40No way.
38:42Yes, the chocolate-covered penis.
38:45Just so I'm getting this right, you want penis?
38:49Chocolate-covered penis?
38:51Yes, the worm, chocolates, coffee-nolos, big, big nuts.
38:58The nuts, too.
38:59Okay, I could do that.
39:01What could be better?
39:02I don't think anything could be better than that.
39:06All right, well, I will see you tonight at nine, then.
39:13Good morning, man, you can come.
39:17Gonna be a hot night.
39:19No way.
39:22Not interested.
39:23What are you gonna do, sit around here and pine while I go and win the bet?
39:25There is no bet.
39:27Yes, there is, and I'm gonna win because you, son, are afraid to perform.
39:39Right.
39:39Right.
39:39Stepping up to the pommel horse is Mike Coker.
39:59What is he doing?
40:11He looks like a deer in headlights.
40:13Don't worry, son.
40:17Don't do just fine.
40:18Just remember, stay above and I.
40:20Just make sure you stay above and I.
40:22Remember, I don't date anyone below and I.
40:28I don't date anyone below and I.
40:30Remember, stay above and I.
40:31Remember, stay above and I.
40:33Remember, stay above and I.
40:35I don't date anyone below and I.
40:37Remember, stay above and I.
40:39Well, you've never seen anything like this.
40:41Remember, I don't date anyone below and I.
40:43I don't date anyone below and I.
41:03Pop up!
41:07That's the reasons I got.
41:08It's time for some chocolate covered penis, oh man, oh, oh, oh, that does feel good, let's
41:27see, shit, let's try this, oh yeah, this is it, this is the problem.
41:37Is this some kind of joke?
41:43Are you trying to make fun of her because she is black?
41:46Yeah.
41:47No, no, no, no, she said, you said you'd like this.
41:50Like what?
41:51To see a fat white dude in black face?
41:54Now why in the hell would I like that?
41:56Chocolate covered penis.
41:58Oh, I said chocolate covered penis.
42:02Right, nuts, penis, chocolate.
42:06No, I said peanuts, P-E-A-N-U-C-S, peanuts, nuts.
42:12Peanuts?
42:13Yes, of course, peanuts.
42:16Peanuts.
42:17Yes, peanuts.
42:19Wow, this is funny, right?
42:22I mean, so what, I guess a three-way would be out of the question?
42:28Let's go.
42:29No?
42:30All right, well, since I'm here.
42:34Look at that.
42:35Looks like he's taking over the whole team.
42:44Yeah.
42:45Looks like they're all his groupies or something.
42:46All right, I can't go.
42:47Ugh.
42:48You know what you should do, man?
42:49There's that party tonight.
42:50You should meet up with her, and you should explain to yourself.
42:51No, it's too late for that, man.
42:52It's not going to work.
42:53Too late?
42:54Yes.
42:55Is that what Garfield did when he wanted the lasagna?
42:56He just did it.
42:57He went after it, and he got it.
42:58And he didn't let it go.
42:59And he didn't let it go.
43:00It's too late for that, man.
43:01It's not going to work.
43:02Too late?
43:03Yes.
43:04Is that what Garfield did when he wanted the lasagna?
43:05He just did it.
43:06He just did it.
43:07He went after it, and he got it.
43:08And he didn't let that son of a bitch get in his way.
43:09He ate the lasagna to the last drop.
43:10And then what did he do?
43:11He went and he got more lasagna because he's a greedy motherfucker.
43:14And that's what you need to be.
43:15You need to be a greedy son of a bitch.
43:17Oh.
43:18Oh.
43:19Oh.
43:20Oh.
43:21Oh.
43:22Oh.
43:23Oh.
43:24Oh.
43:25Oh.
43:26Oh.
43:27Oh.
43:28Oh.
43:29Oh.
43:30Oh.
43:31Oh.
43:32Oh.
43:33Oh.
43:34Oh.
43:35Hello.
43:40Well that sucked.
43:42We're not strong enough.
43:43You'll probably lose.
43:44That's not a pep talk.
43:46So sue me.
44:05When you think you've lost control
44:11And you're tired
44:13And you're all in this world
44:16When you think you've lost control
44:20Damn it!
44:25Those beavers are getting good again.
44:28It's just Trey.
44:29And that one stripper girl?
44:31She's a natural.
44:32How does she even have any time to practice during the day?
44:36Doesn't she have to be at work or something?
44:39She doesn't actually work in the daytime, I mean.
44:44Yes, she does.
44:47Definitely.
44:50Excuse me.
44:53Where is the entertainment?
44:55Right there.
44:56Or you can go in the back room.
44:57Yeah, no.
44:58We need something a little more personal, but not that personal.
45:01Oh, I'm sorry. You have to come back after.
45:02Five for that.
45:03We usually don't get requests for lap dances this early.
45:05I would like to speak to the owner of this establishment.
45:09Just wait right here.
45:16So what can I do for you?
45:19Everything.
45:24Yeah, hi.
45:24Look, we don't have any lap dances right now,
45:26but you're welcome to go in the back.
45:28No, that's not what we want.
45:30I happen to work for a very large entertainment conglomerate.
45:33We're going to have a lot of executives here next week
45:35for the cheerleading competition.
45:36You may have heard of it.
45:37Yeah, I heard of it.
45:38Okay.
45:38Well, there's nothing these execs like more
45:41than a mid-afternoon stress-reducing lap dance.
45:45But if you don't have early entertainment,
45:46then I guess we'll just have to take our business.
45:47No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
45:50I got girls, okay?
45:51I can reschedule them.
45:53I can have them here earlier.
45:54Of course you can.
45:55No, come on, please.
45:57They work for me, okay?
45:58I'll have the girls here.
46:00You bring all the execs you want.
46:02Oh.
46:03I will.
46:04Where the fuck's for these?
46:12You know what's cool about these?
46:14Is they actually talk.
46:17Fuck me hard.
46:19Fuck me hard in the ass, you big stud.
46:23Fuck me hard.
46:24And watch.
46:25You can also program them to say things.
46:28Michael, I want you to fuck me.
46:31I want you to fuck me in my tight, round butthole.
46:37You're a whole big boy.
46:41Michael, I want you to fuck me.
46:45I want you to fuck me in my tight, round butthole.
46:50You're a whole big boy.
46:53Pretty great, right?
46:54So, well, you're more than welcome to borrow any of these
46:57while I'm gone.
46:58Gone at the party.
46:59Where I'm going to find some strippers and win the bet.
47:03There is no bet.
47:04There most definitely is a bet.
47:07You can deny it all you want, but just you remember,
47:09if you're too afraid to compete, well, then you've already lost.
47:18Too afraid to compete.
47:20Just remember, stay above a nine.
47:22I don't date anyone below a nine.
47:24Nine.
47:33Oh, I want to take forensic science.
47:37What's that?
47:38It's like CSI.
47:40New York or Miami?
47:42Vegas.
47:43Nice.
47:43The original.
47:44According to Native American lore, the beaver is actually a force to be reckoned with
47:57in matters of business and combat, and not a vagina.
48:01I'm going to go get another beer.
48:05Okay.
48:07Oh, hey, Andy.
48:08Did you enroll all the girls in classes?
48:11Mm-hmm.
48:12Hey, is Michael here?
48:14Michael?
48:16No.
48:17He's really upset about you two.
48:19Who, me and Trey?
48:20Yeah, he's just sitting in our cabin just drinking beer, and you know what?
48:25He doesn't even drink beer.
48:27Really?
48:27Yeah, you know what you should do is you should go and talk to him.
48:31Okay, I will.
48:32You should.
48:33You should go talk to him.
48:35All right, I'll go talk to him.
48:37Great.
48:37Let's go talk to him.
49:07And he said...
49:11What?
49:13He said that you were jealous of me and Trey.
49:16He said that?
49:18It's not true?
49:20No.
49:22It is.
49:24I mean, kind of, uh, sort of.
49:28Michael, the thing is...
49:31The thing is...
49:34But...
49:35But what?
49:35I think there's a bug on that can.
49:39So, you were saying, um...
49:43You're a great guy.
49:45Yeah.
49:46But the thing is, Trey...
49:48Yeah.
49:49He's not gay.
49:51I know from experience.
49:54Really?
49:56Well, kinda.
49:57Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
50:01You think that I like Trey?
50:05Well, yeah.
50:06That's why you're jealous.
50:07Because you're in love with Trey.
50:10No!
50:11No!
50:11Not at all.
50:13No, God.
50:14Trey just wants to have a three-way.
50:16Not with me.
50:17Um, with two women.
50:18I can't explain all the things, the crazy things, the way that they've looked.
50:23They're all misunderstandings.
50:26All of them.
50:28Wait!
50:29What?
50:31I think you've, you know, had enough tonight.
50:33But I haven't had any.
50:34Wow.
50:48I'm from the Midwest.
50:50So, what are you gonna say about?
50:54Michael.
50:55I want you to fuck me.
50:57What?
50:58I want you to fuck me.
50:59If I type it around.
51:02It's, uh...
51:03You're all big, boy.
51:06Oh, my God.
51:08Wait, wait, wait.
51:09Wait.
Recommended
1:53:09
|
Up next
1:30:39
1:17:58
1:48:12
1:46:10
57:32
1:36:28
1:26:09
1:40:57
1:13:53
1:24:52
1:29:02
1:21:27
1:22:16
1:48:50
1:37:44