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Cinema Series US Film
  • 5/31/2025
Gogglebox Season 25 Episode 15

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Fun
Transcript
00:00I'm trying, hang on, I can't do it anymore, sing to yourself
00:08Happy birthday dear Jenny, happy birthday to me
00:16Yay!
00:20Ole!
00:26Yes!
00:27This is incriminating, let's listen
00:30What just happened?
00:34Hey look, Vinny's perked up at that
00:36You don't expect this to be like a Hollywood blockbuster
00:41No, I want that
00:43No, I don't want that
00:45Just dance, Jane, just dance
00:47Oh, I'd be giving an irate audience
00:52Vinny's licking your vanilla spice
00:54Have you got Trump fatigue yet?
00:56No
00:56He's a great disruptor move
00:58In the week, Keir Starmer did a U-turn on winter fuel payments
01:03We enjoyed lots of great telly
01:06Chris Packham was getting inside our heads on BBC Two
01:10More too often, we find ourselves misunderstood
01:13Reduced to stereotypes
01:16Made to feel like we don't fit him
01:19I can see the appeal of Chris Packham
01:21Why you fancy him now, Ellie?
01:22See, it's his personality, mate
01:24He is, he's such a nice guy
01:27A lovely bloke
01:28But he's married, you know, Ellie
01:30I don't mean you can't fancy him
01:32Well, you and Nat, they also like it
01:34Exactly
01:35Nat better put a ring on it quick
01:38Before I go after Chris Packham
01:40Things were looking up for the virgins on Channel 4
01:44You can touch me and I mean, it feels good to you
01:47It's amazing
01:48On this telly the other night, I watched that
01:57Then I watched families who want to swing and do all sorts
02:01And they're in the 30s
02:03You don't watch stuff like that
02:05I don't
02:06You have your telly on number 50
02:07I can hear it in the car park
02:09I can't imagine what your neighbours think but your watch
02:11I'll just tell everybody we have a good, healthy sex life
02:13And we were in for some summer loving on Netflix
02:19I remember you really annoying
02:28I was swimming in the Caribbean, Barbados
02:32And as far as I knew, you hadn't yet arrived
02:35Because you were on a separate plane
02:37And the next thing, I was being bitten on my ankles
02:41And I thought it was a shark
02:42And then, idiotically, you splashed up out of the water, grinning
02:48As if it was a clever thing to do
02:50Always a joker
02:53In Gant, I might be a prefect
03:03You've applied to be a prefect?
03:05Mm-hmm
03:06I've just listened to a bit of Michael Jackson
03:08And he just said, if you want to make the world a better place
03:11You have to look yourself in the mirror and make a change
03:14So I've looked myself in the mirror and I've made a change
03:16And I'm going to be a prefect
03:17Michael, Sally, and their sons, Jake and Harry
03:21Can you dish out polish ones to people?
03:23I can give people uniform infringements
03:25What does that mean?
03:27Well, if somebody's not wearing the correct uniform
03:29I can be like, you sir are getting a uniform infringement
03:32What does that do to them?
03:33Do they go to the head's office?
03:34No, no, no
03:35They don't have it
03:36It's like a traffic box
03:37I don't know what it does
03:38Okay
03:38But I can give it out to people
03:41So it's not the neighbourhood watch, basically
03:43You've got plenty of pointless
03:44I can like, I can like
03:45Yeah, I can tell people off but nothing actually bad happens to them
03:48On Tuesday night, Channel 5 breathes new life into an old classic
03:54I've faked illnesses before
03:55Have you?
03:57Yeah
03:57Actually, you love a day off, don't you?
04:00No
04:00I could pretend to be a doctor
04:02I'd get a bit of a day
04:03Do you reckon?
04:04At mid-surgery, you go, alright, I've taken it too far now
04:07That's because of an agent
04:08Yeah
04:09Accountant
04:10Accountant
04:10Yeah
04:11IT professional
04:12Pharmacist
04:14Can a posh southern estate agent be transformed into a northern market trader in just four weeks?
04:21Absolutely not
04:22A northern market trader?
04:24We're from a family of northern market traders
04:26We'll spot him a mile off
04:27Yeah
04:28Rex Adams is a 27-year-old country boy
04:31Oh, Rex
04:32He needs to change that to Dave immediately
04:34Yeah
04:35My favourite place to come after a long day of work
04:38How's he going to hide that for?
04:39I mean, that's inbred in him, isn't it?
04:41Yeah
04:41He's going to swap selling penthouses for millions
04:45There we go
04:48He's going to do ten minutes and go, oh, this is f***ing ghastly
04:51And start shifting pork ribs for a fighter
04:54For a fighter?
04:55I could do this
04:56I could, too
04:57Alright, sweetheart
04:58Take something back for your fella
05:00Sounds like a challenge
05:02And I love a challenge
05:03I'll probably do
05:05I mean, I can't see it, to be honest
05:09No
05:09I think he's got a snowball's chance in hell
05:12Of getting through this
05:14Rex has arrived at Bolton Market to meet his mentor, Tony
05:19And work his first shift as a market trader
05:22There's no way you would catch me off that
05:24You would
05:25Never
05:25Ever
05:26Hello, Tony
05:27Hello, Tony
05:29Tony
05:30Tony
05:30Tony
05:31I'm you, I'm Rex
05:32Gordon
05:32Hi, Rex
05:33I'm on Shea, I'm Mountain West
05:34Oh, sorry
05:35Nice to meet you
05:36What's this?
05:40Are you the black shoveler they were sending there?
05:43Yes, I do recognise I am not
05:46Why is he rocked up in a bloody suit?
05:49Yeah, not what you would typically wear on a market
05:51No, I don't think so
05:52It looks more like the market inspector
05:54At least he wasn't in black tie
05:56Rex's first job is breaking up the chicken legs
06:00Oh, no
06:01Oh, he's not going to lie this
06:02Smash it in there, there you go
06:04Alright
06:04Which arrived frozen and stuck together
06:07Unless he's getting along, stick it on
06:08Don't drop him on the floor
06:13Oh, for fuck's sake
06:14These fell onto the floor
06:16We'll pull them to one side
06:17Pull them to one side
06:19I'll sort them out
06:20Next morning, Rex heads for his voice coaching session
06:25Voice coaching
06:26Here we go
06:27You're going to learn all of them
06:29I love me bloody work
06:31I love me bloody work
06:33I love me bloody work
06:35Why have you got to have your arms chopping while you do it?
06:39We don't know yet
06:40I love me bloody work
06:42Right, slightly too much lip
06:44What not that goes around going
06:46I love my bloody work
06:47I think with enough practice we could do it, you know
06:49Yeah
06:50But we're closer to the North, aren't we?
06:51That's why
06:52Yeah
06:53I love my bloody work
06:55No
06:55No
06:56No
06:57Now say it for me
06:59You big bad bastard
07:01You big bad bastard
07:04You big bad bastard
07:07Right, when we say bastard
07:09It's like you're puking it up, right?
07:15You big bad bastard
07:17You big bad bastard
07:19You big bad bastard
07:21You big bad bastard
07:23You big bad bastard
07:24You big bad bastard
07:25To continue the accent training
07:27That evening, Ellsworth takes Rex to the pub with his mentors
07:31Oh, that is the best place to live
07:34In the pub tonight
07:35In the pub tonight, there's a quiz
07:36We are going to say part
07:38But part of the quiz
07:40You're going to be the compere
07:41The compere for the quiz?
07:43How is he going to be in a northern pub
07:45Full of northern people
07:47Convincing men
07:49That he's got a northern accent
07:50So should I just go?
07:52You just go
07:53Just go, alright
07:54Listen up, you bunch of bastards
07:56On the Simpsons TV show
07:59What breed of dog
08:01Is Santa's little helper?
08:03Ah!
08:04What breed of dog?
08:06Breed?
08:06What's a fucking breed?
08:08That was a mix of Jordan and all sorts
08:10Why are you, man?
08:12Santa's little helper
08:13Which city?
08:16A. Los Angeles
08:17He should have gone Caribbean
08:23B. Orlando
08:28Jamaica now
08:29Jamaica now
08:32The clue is in the question
08:33Close your eyes and look
08:36Close your eyes and look
08:38Close your eyes
08:39It's a good spot, isn't it, Rex?
08:41Now get around you
08:43Can I have a white wine spritzer, please?
08:47Hey, Tommy
08:47Shall we go to the pub
08:49To celebrate that shit
08:51Or what?
08:52Come here to the night
08:53The shit song you put
08:58To the other night
08:59Where I done that quiz
09:01Where you got and done
09:02To do that quiz line
09:04Incafilly
09:08Dear, what happened to
09:10What?
09:11What were your teeth?
09:12Dave and his wife
09:13Surely
09:14Well, I had a bar of chocolate
09:16Like that
09:16And he said
09:17It would be a bit precarious
09:19And no one be old
09:20I'm like, ah
09:21I don't mean I've got a bit of chocolate
09:23In my mouth
09:23I've got a mouthful of teeth
09:24And all
09:25And that's the result
09:27Yeah
09:27I'll tell you what I could do
09:29What?
09:30I'll superglue him into you
09:32Superglue?
09:34Yeah
09:34But you were having a laugh
09:36You were what?
09:36Well, no, because you've got the hooks there
09:38And if I put a bit of the superglue in
09:40I don't want to be ended up in A&E
09:43And he turned around to see
09:44Exactly what happened
09:45Mr. Griffith
09:46He said what I got
09:47All right
09:54On Saturday night
09:57We got our annual dose of Europe's biggest music extravaganza on BBC One
10:02Even Bonnie wants to come and watch Eurovision this year
10:05Oh
10:05Oh, don't look at me
10:06I've got me Eurovision decks, look
10:08Kids have been making flags
10:10Can you tell who Bobby wants to win?
10:14I hate Eurovision
10:15I can't stand it
10:16Oh, great
10:17You look as if you don't
10:18I fucking hate Eurovision
10:20Oh, thank you
10:21Here you go
10:23Oh, hang on
10:28How's that?
10:32There's a decent bit of music you're going to hear in the whole thing, Natty, was that intro
10:36Oh, my God, you're going mad, aren't we?
10:41Come on
10:42Song number three
10:45Oh, Estonia
10:46Where's that?
10:48I didn't even know Estonia was a place
10:50It's not a place
10:51Espresso Macchiato by Tommy Cash
10:56Hey, I love my coffee
10:57This is true
10:58You're going to love this song
10:59I take my coffee machine on holiday
11:01I get this
11:02Are we starting with a coffee?
11:08Has he got an espresso macchiato?
11:10Oh, my God
11:15Is he singing to a bastard coffee cup?
11:18What does mi amare mean?
11:19My love
11:20Espresso Macchiato
11:21Macchiato
11:22Macchiato
11:23Por favor
11:24He looks like if we were put in a blender
11:27Come out the other end
11:30Yes
11:30Oh, he's singing in Spanish, isn't he?
11:37No, it's a cameo, isn't it?
11:39Oh, right
11:40I thought it was Estonia
11:43Well, it is
11:44Oh, and they speak Spanish, do they?
11:47Oh, and they speak Spanish, do they?
11:49What do you say?
12:09I love that, I love that, I love that.
12:38This is amazing.
12:40That is choreography.
12:42They're not just security, Simon, they're dancers.
12:55They like to what?
12:59Flanky-danky.
13:04His character is grand.
13:06Can you understand what he's singing?
13:07I'm just telling you, his cousin's grandly asshole.
13:10Asshole.
13:11Asshole.
13:19You want to lay yourself gold, bitch, sir?
13:21No, not a shit like this.
13:23I don't like this, you're weird.
13:24I love it.
13:29I love it.
13:32Absolutely bonkers.
13:33I love it.
13:34I love it.
13:35It's bonkers.
13:36I think I might have seen this to Paige, you know.
13:38Because you'll quite like it.
13:39I reckon she's into cringes, love.
13:41Worry, not a shit like this.
13:42Clearly.
13:53In Leeds.
13:54So, after school yesterday, I made the kids go walk the door because we made the one morning,
13:59they didn't want to come.
14:00Sister Jelly and Dizzy.
14:02But anyway, we're on the way back down my street, right at the top end.
14:06And Bobby said, do you want to play Sweet and Sour?
14:09I said, what's Sweet and Sour?
14:11How do you play that?
14:12So, he said, well, what you've got to do is, when there's a car coming, you wave.
14:18If they wave back, they're a sweet.
14:20And if they don't wave back, they're sour.
14:23So, by the time we went from one end of the street to my house, 25 sour and 22 sweet.
14:3125 sour?
14:33I know.
14:34I couldn't believe it because the sweets had hit at one bit.
14:37We even got a beep off bus driver.
14:42On Sunday, Prue was pottering around her country kitchen again on ITV.
14:47Why does no one ever discuss their wardrobe?
14:49I know, it's great.
14:50It's impeccable.
14:52That's what I'm saying, for someone you've got the style.
14:54Yeah, you used to wear colourful glasses, didn't you?
14:56Yeah, I still do.
14:57Yeah, I still got loads of colourful sunglasses.
15:00Actually, I went out the other night and they said I look like Timmy Mallard.
15:04Welcome to my cosplay kitchen.
15:07I like Prue, Leith.
15:08She does some really nice, simple recipes.
15:15This programme's missing a bit of realism.
15:17You know, I bet there's nothing on top of her microwave.
15:20Yeah, no paperwork.
15:21No paperwork.
15:23Yeah, and somebody's watch.
15:24She's not got shoes by the front door.
15:26Yeah.
15:27We want a bit more realism.
15:28Yeah.
15:28Just give us a twinge of a clothesline.
15:31Yeah, or like you, filthy baking tray.
15:34Yeah, yeah.
15:35As well as cooking good food, I do like to make it look good as well.
15:39Yeah, see, I don't.
15:41That's where you let yourself down sometimes, Julie.
15:42You eat with your eyes as well.
15:44It's the appearance.
15:45Your food tastes lovely.
15:46But sometimes you look at it, you go, it's a bit fucking angry that dinner.
15:49I want to show you a hack to make your presentation.
15:56Amazing.
15:57Oh, what is that?
15:57Oh, wow.
15:59No, Prue, no.
16:01No.
16:02We've been through this before.
16:03I'm going to show you one of my favourite hacks.
16:06Ice bowl, which is full of flowers.
16:09She's made that?
16:10Yeah.
16:11She sounds pretty good, isn't it?
16:13Not if we put a soup in, it's not.
16:15No, I know, but it's the salad I expect, isn't it?
16:18You need two bowls, one bigger than the other.
16:21Well, we can do that.
16:22I've got two bowls, one bigger than the other.
16:24Take the smaller bowl, turn it over, and sellotape your flowers onto it.
16:29Oh, I can't be out of sellotape.
16:31Sellotape?
16:32This is craft.
16:33Do you know what?
16:34I reckon Prue and Meghan Markle will be like that.
16:37Oh, yeah.
16:38Flowers and pointless bits of shit.
16:40Yeah.
16:40Then you fill up the outside.
16:42With water.
16:43With water.
16:45And all this.
16:46She's using water.
16:47Get this written down, flowers and water.
16:49And to flip the bowl, but that's fine.
16:51Who's got time for that?
16:53You, eh?
16:54You're retired.
16:56This isn't cooking at all, is it?
16:58No.
16:59It's panning around.
17:00Put in some rocks to keep it exactly the right level.
17:04Rocks?
17:04Nice, matey.
17:06What a bloody performance.
17:07What's with a bowl?
17:08And then you put it in the freezer.
17:10Our freezer isn't big enough.
17:12We'd have to do a miniature version.
17:13I wouldn't have room for this in my freezer.
17:15You'd have to make way with smiley faces and fish fingers and oven chips.
17:19I have an 18-pack of potato waffles in mine.
17:21That takes up some right space.
17:23You bring it out.
17:26Here's what you made earlier.
17:28Leave it for about half an hour to begin to melt around the edge.
17:31This is more our sake than it's worth.
17:33The bowl ain't even that nice.
17:35No offence, Prue.
17:36So that's my hack for a floral, I suppose.
17:42Oh, I've got to be honest.
17:44What a waste of bloody time.
17:45When we are first swore, are you in August, Ronnie?
17:48Yeah.
17:49I'm going to do a few of them.
17:50What projects have you got on the go at the minute?
17:53Just keep it on top of me washing and ironing.
17:55I'm going to say, if anybody's likely to start a useless project, it's you and us too.
18:00It's going to be me.
18:01You've got plenty of useless projects.
18:03I just didn't want to start pointing fingers.
18:08In North London.
18:10Who can you get your toes done for?
18:12No one.
18:12You've got a nice beach date.
18:14No, can I not just do it for no reason?
18:16I want to feel good.
18:18How's your big toes so small?
18:19How are you making me feel insecure about my toes?
18:22Sister's a mirror and a money.
18:24Look at how big my toe is.
18:26Look, that's it.
18:27You've got ugly toes.
18:34No, I don't.
18:37You've actually got ugly toes.
18:40You know what, Miles said?
18:41I've got into your toes.
18:44This is the way they separate.
18:46Look, I don't even need the toes separate.
18:48Amira, you can never be a foot model or anything like that.
18:51You can never sell your pics.
18:52I don't plan on being one.
18:53You can never sell your pics.
18:54I don't plan on being one.
18:56Why are you like that?
18:58Look, look at the way they separate.
19:01Thursday night, there were more survivalists letting it all hang out on Discovery.
19:06I can't think of anything worse than being naked and afraid.
19:10It's the worst combination.
19:12That's why I go to bed fully dressed.
19:15Naked and afraid.
19:17I'd be tripping over my tits if I had to trek naked.
19:21That's it, your boobs are sensitive.
19:22Like, what if you scratched them on a branch or something?
19:25This is definitely a dance force.
19:28Fernanda looks brave.
19:29This is not my first challenge on naked and afraid.
19:32Oh, okay.
19:33Three years ago, I survived for 21 days in the Colombian jungle.
19:3821 days, that's bloody impressive, isn't it?
19:40She's actually back from all this maniac.
19:42My partner, he tapped out on day eight.
19:44The man is whipped out there.
19:46Yeah.
19:47Best time, I just want a partner that can handle this very hard environment.
19:52She needs a man.
19:53She needs a cape man.
19:54She needs an alpha male.
19:55Come on.
19:56I don't think this is going to be hard, both mentally and physically.
20:00Ivar from Norway.
20:02Yeah.
20:02Now, he's interesting, isn't he?
20:04As one of the last true Vikings.
20:06Oh, he's a Viking.
20:07I love him already.
20:08I feel like I owe it to myself to prove that I am the badass I think I am, and also the badass
20:14that other people think I am.
20:16Oh, that was hot.
20:17That was hot.
20:18These two look very well-known.
20:19They look like good kick-ass people, don't they?
20:21Yeah.
20:22Hey there, Porter.
20:24Hi.
20:24How you doing?
20:25What's your name?
20:27You're very nice to meet you.
20:28I'm just up there going.
20:29How are you doing?
20:31Nice to see you.
20:33What?
20:34Yes.
20:35Where are we going now?
20:37I'm going to cut down some trees, okay?
20:40Yeah.
20:41Oh, she is proper.
20:43She's off.
20:46What happened?
20:47What's going on?
20:49She's having a trap in a bloody tree.
20:50Is it good?
20:51No.
20:51No way.
20:52Oh, my God.
20:54She sliced her leg up over her fucking machete.
20:56Right when I saw it, I knew it was a bad cut, because there was a lot of blood.
21:00Oh, no.
21:01Is she going to have to tap out?
21:02She's going to have to.
21:03She can't be naked and afraid for three weeks with that gash on her knee.
21:06Quite grim, that, isn't it?
21:07It's quite a deep cut.
21:08It is deep.
21:09I mean, there's only a few of us who can survive injuries like this.
21:13I'm going to do everything in my power to make you see this true.
21:18Thank you so much.
21:19Oh, he's lovely.
21:20What a gentleman.
21:21He is really nice.
21:22We should have more Vikings around here.
21:26Seven days in.
21:28This challenge is the hardest challenge in the world.
21:31I did not expect to be starving this much.
21:34Nice.
21:34He looks waffled.
21:35Fucking hell.
21:36What's happened to that Viking spirit, Lassie?
21:39He's just starving.
21:43So I've been thinking, oh, no, that doesn't sound like good.
21:46You can't give up, man.
21:48You listen.
21:48Oh, he's the bloke.
21:49I'm really concerned that if I continue in this challenge any further, I'm going to risk getting injured.
21:55He's leaving.
21:56He's leaving.
21:57No, no, do this to me.
21:59She's cock-waffled while he's telling her that he's going to bow out.
22:03I suppose it's the way I'd want somebody to write bad news to me.
22:06Look, day 20.
22:12She's only got one more day to go.
22:14Oh, my God.
22:15Right, so this is the last push here.
22:16I haven't slept in two days, so I don't eat anything.
22:22She needs to get up and have something to eat here to see the final day through.
22:25Just eat some of that soil and get through it.
22:27You've got one more day.
22:28She can't eat the soil.
22:29There's some frogs here, and the moment has come.
22:33We're going to have to kill it.
22:34She's going night hunting for frogs.
22:40Did she get it?
22:41Yeah, I got it.
22:43Oh, man.
22:46Kermit, no.
22:47Yes!
22:48This is one of the freaking coolest nights of my life.
22:51She looks fucking insane, doesn't she?
22:53I'm frightened she's just going to put it straight in her mouth.
22:57Yeah!
22:59Come on!
23:02Why?
23:03Oh, no.
23:04What's happened?
23:06No!
23:06You are joking.
23:11The whole thing's been fire.
23:12It was just like a minute of success, like of happiness.
23:17And then I turn around and the freaking shelter is on fire.
23:20Well, at least she can cook the frog bear.
23:23Do you know what I mean?
23:24It's going to be a bit of charcoal, but fuck it.
23:27I remember when I did that sponsored walk, Lee, and I went in that field for a bit.
23:32And I'd come out and I'd trickled my bits.
23:35And I'd come out walking like John Wayne.
23:37And they had to finish the walk.
23:39I took my knickers off because I couldn't start my chuff hair that much.
23:43So I feel sorry for her.
23:46I aren't joking.
23:47They had to help me from the corner.
23:49I had three days off work.
23:51I had to rub duck leaves on it in the field.
23:53I was back to nature.
24:03In Manchester.
24:04Oh, do you think you can repair these, Tom?
24:07My soles come off my shoe.
24:08Just get another pair, Julie.
24:10Can't be like a day of them, can't they?
24:11There's a thing where you can take a picture if you want to get another pair of them.
24:14Yeah.
24:15Google reverse search or whatever.
24:17They're my loaves.
24:18Oh, hey, Katie, actually.
24:19Have you got them?
24:21Oh, let's have a look.
24:24Yeah, them are the ones.
24:27Oh, these are £100 shoes.
24:28Fuck off.
24:29It's still £100, £99.
24:32So you can still get them at £99.
24:35Yes.
24:36Where's it from, Tom?
24:37I mean, I know where I got mine from.
24:39So now this is flashed up on there now.
24:41Let me have a look.
24:41Shall we help?
24:42You know they have it in your feedback.
24:44On Monday night, there were more sirens at the seaside on Channel 4.
24:49It's the second writing of all places.
24:51You always get nervous you're going to see someone you know on this.
24:54Yeah, I get nervous I see me on this.
24:58They were being in handcuffs.
25:00Not in a police station, don't they?
25:02They have to deal with some writing up heads, don't they?
25:05See, I would go by policing in quite a different way.
25:09I would just have a kind of giant net and throw it over them and then pull it tight so they're all...
25:16And then suspend them all night from a sycamore tree.
25:20No, no, I would just keep them in the net until they'd come down.
25:25In the programme, the night cops had a tip-off about a bloke in a car.
25:30Hello, my friend.
25:31Member of security.
25:32A bit concerned you might have been a bit too drunk to drive.
25:33I haven't had a single drink.
25:34Oh, so they think he's a drink driver.
25:37I haven't had a single drink.
25:39I haven't had nothing.
25:40Just to show you how docks that is.
25:42Test him.
25:43Test him, then.
25:44He's got a heart signal.
25:45It stops him.
25:46Yeah.
25:46What you're about to see is, is it completely up and over the sheets?
25:49Hey, yeah.
25:50That's not nice, is it?
25:51You're on camera, so I hope you're right here, mate.
25:54You're very adamant that you've not had a drink.
25:55There's serious crime happening right now.
25:57And when you breathalise me, my comeback is zero.
25:59Oh, he's one of them.
26:01I say that.
26:02Ain't you got anything better to do?
26:04Yeah.
26:05You're nicked.
26:06No, no, it's not me, no, no.
26:07The public money that you spend as an organisation,
26:11the most heinous ones that have happened in Britain,
26:13in the last five years, have happened by active police officers.
26:15Oh, that'll get him onside.
26:18He's charming them now.
26:20Yeah, he is.
26:21We've got to make sure he's sober enough to drive.
26:23And then there might be a whole other matter,
26:24so we've just got to smooth out as well, historic stuff.
26:26Because he's being a gobshite, he's looking at other things there.
26:30The problem is, with him behaving like this,
26:32they will just find something there.
26:33Oh, you're going to have a whole tyre, at least.
26:35Yes.
26:36So I'm just waiting for a callback from someone at a CID.
26:38Just to go back.
26:39I'd just go straight on Facebook.
26:41We could do background checks in 30 seconds.
26:44Get Becky Potter on case.
26:46Now, that's me, Brett.
26:48Has he passed?
26:49Camera, please show how inefficient sausage police in Britain.
26:53They're not inefficient, love.
26:54They're just doing the job.
26:56I mean, they are thorough with him.
26:57And they're calm.
26:58Really calm?
26:59I won't be.
27:00Get out of that fucking car, you little shit.
27:02Hi, Pete's Megan.
27:05Oh, Pete's got the call.
27:07What's he doing this one again?
27:08He's getting more info.
27:10Pete is getting more info on it.
27:11I'll tell you now.
27:12She's a nice lady, you know.
27:14I know when I say life is a sweet one.
27:16I'll show you, sweet.
27:18Oh, he's chatting her up.
27:19Well done.
27:20Nice one.
27:20I showed the camera at zero.
27:22Zero.
27:22Six police, zero.
27:24Have you got any more tests?
27:25Do you think he'll pass?
27:26Right, cool, kank.
27:27Now it's time to do with a histonic storm.
27:29It's like a game of Cluedo or something.
27:33Like more and more stuff unravels.
27:34And then you get to look at their whole history.
27:36Hang on.
27:37Seeing this person needs to be arrested for something completely separate.
27:39What's happened, Pete?
27:40This is the tip of the iceberg, this lady.
27:42This chap needs to come in on suspicion of fraud.
27:45Oh, they've got him.
27:47Can I ask you to step out of the car for me, please, mate?
27:48Here we go.
27:49I bet he's absolutely kicking himself now.
27:54Yeah, that's fine.
27:54Yeah, you can't blow his hero on fraud.
27:58What must have been on the phone?
27:59Cheers, mate.
27:59If you wouldn't mind, turn around, put your hands on your back, mate.
28:01I think you're right.
28:04He nicked him.
28:05That's marvellous, doesn't it?
28:07You hate it, don't you, when the police are driving behind you.
28:09And do you know what makes it worse?
28:10If I see him, I'll hate to set the next left.
28:14Because I don't want him to follow me.
28:17And that message, you make yourself look guilty when you turn left.
28:20Yeah, in somebody else's drive.
28:22Yes.
28:24It bleeds.
28:28I knew you'd bleed that three-farrelled waver on.
28:32Now I couldn't trust you to come up here and do your hair.
28:35Sister Zellie and Dizzy.
28:37Well, what did I do?
28:39You've just not turned them off.
28:40You've just left them nearly cold in a fire in me bedroom.
28:43Where?
28:45What do you mean, where?
28:47Well, where have I left them?
28:50On me bedside table.
28:51Oh, well, they've looked the fine on there.
28:54Stop being dramatic.
28:56God, really burning my house down.
28:58You're not getting ready here again.
28:59You can get ready at home.
29:02This week, it was holiday season again for the middle-aged couples on Netflix.
29:07It's like, one minute it's funny, next minute it's sad.
29:11It's a right roller coaster.
29:12Yeah.
29:12You see, you couldn't do this over here because we only get one season in the Northwest.
29:16Yeah.
29:17You know, winter.
29:18Yeah.
29:22What's the father's left here?
29:23Oh, are we on the next, we're on the next holiday?
29:26We've got the gang back together again.
29:27There's five of them.
29:29Where's Anne?
29:29Do you believe it?
29:31Look at her out there.
29:32Is she there?
29:33No.
29:33Has this one of back in love?
29:35Honey, look over here.
29:37Let me get a shot.
29:37That ain't Anne.
29:38That one, Anne.
29:39Is it?
29:40Give me a phone.
29:42Who is that?
29:43That ain't Anne.
29:43Oh, wow, wow, wow.
29:46That's a young thing.
29:48You made so much fun of me for wearing my bikini under my clothes on the plane.
29:53Oh, he must have divorced, Anne.
29:55You're joking.
29:57Oh, dear.
29:58He didn't let the sleeping bag lie, did he?
30:00You know what?
30:01What the hell?
30:02Here we go.
30:03Look at him.
30:04He's sucking his gut in.
30:05He's doing such what I would be doing if a middle-aged man got away.
30:08Sucking my stomach in.
30:10What do you mean if you were a middle-aged man?
30:14I thought he was having a midlife crisis.
30:16Hello, he is.
30:21They are so dodgy.
30:23Look at them.
30:24This is very much like line dancing.
30:27Nick's very new to the game and he can't keep up, but he's going to try to.
30:30Yeah.
30:33What does silver splitters mean, man?
30:35You know quite well what it means.
30:37It's people who are past dead splitting up, even though they're past it,
30:42because they suddenly look at the other person and think,
30:45do I want another 20 years of being annoyed by this person?
30:49I think it's insane if we had our plan, our trip after dating, what?
30:53Five weeks.
30:54Five weeks and you took our holiday with your friends.
30:58Nick is going in deep, isn't he, clearly.
31:00Too deep.
31:01Too soon.
31:05Oh, no.
31:06They're yurting in the other yurt, aren't they?
31:11No.
31:12No.
31:13No.
31:14I mean, that is young, un-material, isn't it?
31:16That is proper.
31:17Yeah.
31:17That is, you know, when you're in your 20s and you're going on holiday.
31:21Well, I'm still in my 20s.
31:23Disgusting.
31:29Who's that?
31:29That's Nick.
31:31Oh, what's happened?
31:32Is that Nick crying?
31:33Is that Nick crying?
31:33Is that Nick crying?
31:35Oh, he's sobbing.
31:41Nick's regretting leaving Anne, I think.
31:43I feel like this will be dark if we'll have left him.
31:46I have to cook on my own now.
31:49I have to clean after myself.
31:56Is that Jenny?
31:57Yes.
31:58Doing quite well.
31:59Babe, I think that is a secret beach we saw on TikTok.
32:01Oh, really?
32:02Yeah.
32:03Oh, she's on TikTok.
32:04Oh, that's my girl.
32:06Oh, awesome.
32:08That is sick.
32:09That is sick.
32:11Did you hear that?
32:13TikTok and sick.
32:15Yeah.
32:15Let's go.
32:16Let's go.
32:16Let's go.
32:18I am so down.
32:19Oh, talk about putting on an axe.
32:21Oh, God.
32:22Auto-impress Jenny.
32:26He's showing off, isn't he, Mum?
32:28Yeah, he is.
32:29Oh, he's out there.
32:32Oh, I'm there.
32:33We're not going to climb up that, is he?
32:35Take your time, Nick.
32:36There we go.
32:37Please don't sleep.
32:40Yeah.
32:40Oh, he's out there.
32:43He's out there.
32:44Yes.
32:45Relax, Nick.
32:46Don't get too excited.
32:49Oh, no.
32:50What?
32:51Oh, God.
32:52Oh, I see her.
32:54Oh, no.
32:57Holy face.
32:59Is reality finally going to set in for him?
33:15That's never happened to us because that's what you get for being adventurous.
33:19Exactly, we never do that.
33:21You don't have to pretend in front of us.
33:24What do you mean pretend?
33:25Uh-oh.
33:26This should be about crying earlier.
33:27I saw you cry.
33:29By the fire.
33:30That's right, Kate did see him crying by the fire.
33:32Make it make sense.
33:33You know why I was crying, Kate?
33:35Go on.
33:36Why, Nick?
33:36Yeah, why were you crying?
33:39Because I couldn't believe what a lucky son of a bitch I am.
33:42It was tears of gratitude.
33:44Happy tears?
33:46Who cries like that when they're happy?
33:48I was dead.
33:50You know I live.
33:51There's no point staying with somebody if you're unhappy.
33:53Hey, I've told you loads of times to leave Ray.
33:55Yeah?
33:56What are you all about?
33:57Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, huh.
34:00Don't you dare say that.
34:01I love Mary.
34:03Oh, I love Mary.
34:04I do.
34:04I had a nightmare last night.
34:16What?
34:16You know that Mick that Jimmy has his comforter thing?
34:19Well, he'd lost it yesterday, only he'd not been out of the house.
34:22Page half past eleven last night.
34:24We've got to find it!
34:25Can't go to sleep without finding it!
34:28She was acting bereft.
34:30He and his little sister Sophie.
34:32Well, yeah, because it is a big thing.
34:34He's had that since he was born.
34:35I know.
34:36But, like I'd said to her, at half past eleven at night, chillax.
34:42And she'd ordered one off eBay.
34:44Should have ordered one off eBay.
34:46Replacement.
34:47Silly, again, wasting money.
34:49Never mind.
34:51I get up, I'm out of bed three minutes, I found it.
34:54I went, I told you.
34:55I said, I knew I'd find it within five minutes of me waking up in the morning.
35:00Where was it?
35:00You did it overnight, you didn't you?
35:05Looking hard in a kid's toy.
35:07On Monday night, Chris Packham was back on BBC Two.
35:11On a mission to help people explain how their minds work.
35:15We're watching this because you're dyslexic.
35:19Or because you like Chris Packham?
35:21Well, does it have to be one or the other?
35:23Could be both.
35:24You know, we're not boring in default settings like all of you love.
35:27Yeah, you're boring, Sally.
35:28We're interesting.
35:29Oh, yeah.
35:30Yeah, see that?
35:31The dyslexic minds, never can do that.
35:32Yeah, we're in default settings, you know?
35:34You are stand and build it.
35:36Inside, I would just, I can hardly see, you know?
35:43I know, Chris.
35:44Just dyslexic minds, see?
35:47No.
35:48The people who is meeting make like a mini movie and show it to all the friends and family
35:54to give them an insight of how it feels to be inside their mind.
35:57Aw, it's really good.
36:00Yeah?
36:01Fucking hell, no one would want to make a movie about what goes on the inside of my mind.
36:08Ooh, Rondekan and Tab.
36:09I know.
36:10That's not far away, is it?
36:11Why is that so broad?
36:13Lee trained as a carpenter and now works as a construction site manager.
36:18That's a lot of reading and writing, isn't it?
36:20Well, looking at plans.
36:21How were things at school?
36:24I enjoyed school.
36:25What?
36:25When they used to say, stand up to read a panograph of a book, I'd have a panic.
36:30It's really hard, isn't it, when you sort of take that stuff for granted.
36:33You might get nervous reading in public, but if all the words are swirling around or what
36:38you're reading you can't verbalise, that's really tough.
36:41Stand up to read is, was like, nah.
36:45I just sat there like this, I'm not, I'm not going to.
36:47Yeah.
36:47Nope.
36:48Nope.
36:48I know a few people who are builders, you know, and they say, I'm just a builder.
36:55And it's the word just that makes me cross.
36:58Ah, stop it.
36:59Yeah?
37:00There's no just a builder about it.
37:01Have you tried to get a bloody builder?
37:03I'm just a builder.
37:04But you're not just a builder.
37:06He is.
37:07You see what he said?
37:07You've got to trade, you can do carpentry.
37:09I can't do that.
37:10No, I can't do carpentry.
37:11So he's not just a builder, is he?
37:13Do you think what Chris is trying to get to the bottom of here is that Lee has got low
37:17confidence?
37:18Yeah.
37:18You know, he's saying he's just a builder, but you're not.
37:21You're Lee.
37:22There's things which I would love to do in life.
37:25Like what?
37:25But I know I can't do them because of my memory.
37:28I'd love to be in a musical.
37:30Oh.
37:31I'm going to be honest, the perfect musical for him.
37:34You know, not to stereotype him, but he would be made low for the musical.
37:38Hey, would he play though?
37:41I don't know, he's a dead ringer for somebody, I know that.
37:44I want him to realise his dreams of performing on stage, so his film will be a musical.
37:50Oh, that would be amazing.
37:52Maybe we should do this.
37:53Yeah, okay.
37:54You're going to make a short film about it?
37:55Yeah, that one's sexier.
37:57Oh.
37:57A very, very short film.
37:58Tonight, in Tonnera Vile.
38:02Tonnera Vile.
38:03Yeah, Tonnera Vile.
38:04Tonnera Vile.
38:04It's the world premiere of Lee's musical.
38:08Aye.
38:08It's a screening, so.
38:14Somewhere there's a song.
38:16It's like the start of the sound of music.
38:18Nice to meet you.
38:20Why am I building named Lee?
38:21Oh, what?
38:23Nothing smart about me.
38:25You're just a builder.
38:26Oh, they've lent into the just.
38:28Oh, in the valance.
38:29If you struggled in school.
38:31In the ages.
38:33They just called you a good fool.
38:35This is him singing about himself.
38:36Yeah.
38:37He's got a good set of pipes, hasn't he?
38:39He has.
38:39Oh, this is so good.
38:41And I know I shouldn't complain.
38:45I got a...
38:45Oh, the high-vis is coming at us.
38:48But the question burns in my brain.
38:51It's all yes.
38:52Maybe I was meant to be so much new.
38:55He's going to break into part of the metal, though.
38:57I can see it coming up.
38:58I know.
38:59Somewhere there's a moon.
39:02Never to...
39:03He's coming out of himself, isn't he?
39:06Maybe I could sing it.
39:09Set those demons free.
39:12Set those demons free, yeah?
39:15I'm not a crank.
39:15That really sums up how it feels to be dyslexic sometimes.
39:27So he feels as if he's drowning.
39:29Oh, that's true.
39:30Words may be in his head.
39:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:37There's clever down.
39:38This is what we want, Lee.
39:47You see, he doesn't struggle telling everybody how he feels.
39:51He just can't pick a pen up and write how he feels.
39:54Just a film, girl.
39:57I've heard of my song.
39:59Oh, he's brought the boys in.
40:01Oh, there they are.
40:02Look, there he is, mate.
40:03They've got your back.
40:04I like that if it was anyone but Lee.
40:20Who's Lee?
40:21Him?
40:22Oh, he's Lee.
40:22He's Lee.
40:23Who did you think Lee was?
40:25I thought he was saying me, but wrong.
40:28Me?
40:29And then Lee.
40:30Me rhymes with Lee.
40:31Dyslexic, I'm not going to get that.
40:34Dabby.
40:36Daddy, your hair is looking even more mane-like than when I last saw you.
40:41When I go to sleep and get up in the morning, it's just I look horrendous.
40:47So what I did, I thought, hmm, what do people do?
40:50People wear hair less, don't they?
40:52Oh, no.
40:53The city, jeez.
40:54Jesus, dear.
40:55No, no, no, no.
40:55No rabati.
40:56Yeah, exactly.
40:57That's it, innit?
40:58Yeah.
40:58That's it.
40:59That's all right.
41:00I've got the stockings anyway.
41:01On Monday night, the nation's favourite Nookie novices were back on Channel 4.
41:08Yes!
41:09Virgin Island, little bit.
41:11Then he's a virgin.
41:15Oh, my God, he is.
41:20This is what I call more peeping Tom television.
41:24I want to become a sex expert.
41:26You'd have to have sex to start with.
41:28In the episode, the students settled in for another session with the sex birds.
41:35Why do they all look like as though they're in prison?
41:38I don't know why they all wear the uniform.
41:40It's to show that they're a virgin.
41:43Celeste and Danielle have a rule of three dating skills.
41:46What?
41:46What are they?
41:47Okay.
41:48The first one is giving an in-the-moment compliment.
41:51In-the-moment compliment, yeah?
41:52I don't like compliments.
41:54No, you don't get many anyway, so I'll take them while you can.
41:56But, like, I really love the way your eyes twinkle when you smile.
42:01Oh, no.
42:02No, no, no.
42:03Oh, that's so phony.
42:05Hang on, let me write that down.
42:06What is it?
42:07No, don't.
42:08It's a horrible one.
42:08Make it spontaneous.
42:10The second one is to be able to both give and recognise the look.
42:14What is the look?
42:15What is it?
42:16This is...
42:17Oh, see?
42:18Freaks me out.
42:18Is that look?
42:19Because I don't want it.
42:20This is how I look at that.
42:21And then, finally, the third skill is the lean-in for the kiss.
42:28They look so bored.
42:30They look so anxious and unhappy, these poor people.
42:32I know, of course they are.
42:35So we're going to do a little demo, and then you're going to have opportunities to practice.
42:38Oh, dear.
42:39Right, okay.
42:40I need this.
42:41Shush.
42:41And in this case, practice means role-playing.
42:45This is a lot of role-playing, innit?
42:47Oh, God.
42:48Right, come on, then.
42:49Oh, my God.
42:49I can't believe this.
42:50So, do you like to travel?
42:53Oh, my God, I love travelling.
42:55Travelling is really my passion.
42:57Where's your favourite place?
42:59Who asks, what's your favourite place?
43:01It goes so well this day, innit?
43:04I love travelling.
43:06Oh, my God.
43:06I can just listen to that laugh all day long.
43:09Oh, they're farting compliment.
43:14They're going to be virgins for the rest of their life at this rate.
43:18That doesn't happen on dates.
43:23Is this the first date?
43:25She's leaning in for a kiss, look.
43:28Who the fuck is doing that?
43:30Oh, very Parisian, Pedro.
43:34No, no, no, no.
43:35No, no.
43:37Growling.
43:39Such a good kiss, though.
43:44I think some of them are feeling quite awkward.
43:47Well, I would be an old-ass bloody nonsense, but...
43:50Who wants to...
43:51Yay, come on up, Emma.
43:53Oh, Emma.
43:54Come on, well done.
43:56Who else?
43:58Oh, someone jump up.
44:00I'll do it.
44:01Yay.
44:02Sam, straddle.
44:04Oh, I mean, I have a feeling this is going to be very awkward.
44:08Hello.
44:09Hello.
44:10How are you?
44:11Okay.
44:11Very good.
44:12Did you enjoy the show?
44:13What fucking show?
44:15In his head has he gone to the theatre?
44:17Yeah.
44:17It's pretend.
44:19Yeah, it's his, yeah.
44:20What do you like the best?
44:22Hmm.
44:23Might put me on the spot.
44:26Eye contact's good.
44:27Oh, she's giving him the look?
44:29That looks like the look to me.
44:30Oh, now he's putting me on the spot.
44:34I like how you get lost.
44:37Get lost where?
44:39You thought it was there.
44:39Always, always get lost.
44:41Somewhere else.
44:42Yeah.
44:43Yeah, in my own words.
44:44Oh, there's no compliment.
44:46It's like that was cute.
44:48Is that a backhanded insult, though?
44:49Stop daydreaming and listen to me.
44:50I like that you noticed that.
44:54I'm very observant.
44:55Oh!
44:57Oh, look.
44:59That was great, that.
45:00She's complimented him back.
45:05Oh!
45:06Jeez.
45:07Oh, it looked at her.
45:10Oh, is it kissing her hand?
45:11Oh, my God.
45:12Oh, my God.
45:16No hesitation there.
45:17What's that?
45:18That's the way you kiss Pope's hand.
45:23I think Emma and Zach are going to have to leave the island fairly soon
45:26if they keep going at this pace, aren't they?
45:29Do you think you're thrown off once you're not a virgin anymore, then?
45:32Yeah, yeah, you have to leave.
45:33You're evicted.
45:35This is where I've been going wrong with Paige.
45:37You know, we should sit at the dining table.
45:39I like your hair today.
45:43And then a kiss on the knuckles.
45:45Next thing.
45:46Bob's your uncle.
45:47Baby number three.
45:49Ooh.
45:52And the seven.
45:54Yeah.
45:54That's it.
45:55Hang on, hang on.
45:56And I'll send it to the kids.
45:58I look like a gay, ne?
46:01Cheese!
46:04Happy birthday to you!
46:08Happy birthday!
46:09Smile!
46:11Can you see me smile?
46:13Can you see me?
46:15Can you do some shit to me?
46:26Backstage nerves are a-jangling.
46:28The time is now for the piano, the final.
46:30Seven wait for their turn to shine.
46:32Stream on Watch Sunday at nine.
46:34And Tuesday, careful there, with that wood chopper instrument, A&E is essential.
46:39It's brand new.
46:40The series starts Tuesday at nine.