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Short filmTranscript
00:00Come on, you got it! Come on, Mama!
00:03Again? Freeze?
00:04Again?
00:05Ow!
00:06Come on! Come on!
00:07Let's go!
00:08Come on! One more! One!
00:09One, two, three!
00:11Come on!
00:12What's going on?
00:13Oh, Melody.
00:15I can't believe you got knocked up by some random guy.
00:18You really have no shame.
00:20Daddy, I bet she got pregnant that night she was drunk and didn't come home.
00:25So reckless.
00:27Wait, what if word gets out and affects my reputation?
00:31How am I gonna get married?
00:34You are so ungrateful.
00:37Get rid of that bastard child right now.
00:40You had this bastard child with your mistress behind Mom's back.
00:44So you get rid of yours and I'll get rid of mine.
00:47Get out!
00:49You're no longer a member of this family!
00:52I'm happy to!
00:57Congratulations!
00:58They are twins.
00:59A boy and a girl.
01:01And they have matching birth marks behind their ears.
01:04Just like you.
01:05Hey!
01:06Hey!
01:07Hey!
01:08Hey!
01:09Hey!
01:10Hey!
01:11Hey!
01:12Hey!
01:13Hey!
01:14Hey!
01:15Hey!
01:16Hey!
01:17Hey!
01:18Hey!
01:19Hey!
01:20Hey!
01:21Hey!
01:22Hey!
01:23Hey!
01:24Hey!
01:25Hey!
01:26Hey!
01:27Hey!
01:28Hey!
01:29Hey!
01:30Hey!
01:31Hey!
01:32Hey!
01:33Hey!
01:34Hey!
01:35Hey!
01:36Hey!
01:37Hey!
01:38Hey!
01:39Hey!
01:40Hey!
01:41Hey!
01:42Hey!
01:43Hey!
01:44Hey!
01:45Hey!
01:46Hey!
01:47Hey!
01:48Hey!
01:49Hey!
01:50Hey!
01:51Hey!
01:52Hey!
01:53Hey!
01:54Hey!
01:55Can I get you something? Would you like something to drink? Please breathe. Ma'am. Ma'am, please breathe. Ma'am.
02:12Here they are. Two beautiful twins. Just like I promised.
02:19Where's my money?
02:23Here.
02:25Thank you. Thank you. Have a great day.
02:38Oh, Mr. Johnson?
02:42I'm sorry. I'm still waiting on the $15,000 bonus from last year.
02:47So I was just wondering if you know when...
02:52You want your bonus?
02:54Sure.
02:59I'll give it to you. Right after you agree to go on a date with me.
03:02Oh, I'd love to. But my husband, I don't think, would agree.
03:11You have a husband?
03:19Now where am I going to find a husband to save me?
03:25Looking for a mom to my cutest twins in the world?
03:28$500,000 paid on the spot. Okay. Martin, do you want your ass beat now or later?
03:32What? Money can solve anything. Plus, you're in your thirties and still not married.
03:36Still not married. Me and Marina are being laughed at in school.
03:40Okay. Fine. No allowance for a month.
03:43You don't spend time with us. You don't give us money. You don't find us a mommy.
03:47What do I even need you for? I'm out of here.
03:49Wait for me. What are you waiting for? Go get them.
03:54Yes, sir. Wait, wait. Leave Martin. Just get Marina.
03:56I stopped running. Hey, what the? Hey!
04:13Leave them alone or I'm calling the police. What kind of a person kidnaps children in broad daylight?
04:17Mommy! Daddy, we finally found our mommy!
04:22Daddy! I am so, so sorry. It was a huge misunderstanding.
04:34Mommy. We know you meant good. Our adult is so unreasonable for holding a grudge on you,
04:39so I'll drink it home for him. Why do you keep calling me mommy?
04:46Because you look like the mommy exactly like in my dreams.
04:49I have the same dreams. We're twins.
04:54Twins. I once had twins.
04:57Uh, mommy, how old are you? What kind of man do you want to marry?
05:00Martin!
05:01Stop interfering, adult. Kids talking now.
05:06What do you think of this man? He's tall and handsome, with a decent job,
05:10divorced with two kids, and hasn't spoken to a woman in years.
05:14Um, isn't that your dad?
05:16Okay, Martin, you're really asking for a spanking.
05:18Hey, child abuse is not the answer. Is this how you raise your children?
05:22It's okay, mommy. That is all talk. He's never hit us.
05:26Yeah, who are you to tell me how to raise my kids? Do you even have children?
05:34Come on, kids, let's go.
05:38What do you mean it's in backstop? No, that's completely unacceptable.
05:43Oh, wait.
05:44Wait. Do you want to get married?
05:51I mean, then I'd have children and I could maybe understand you better.
05:56So what do you say?
06:01Martin, go take your sister to get some ice cream, okay?
06:03Well, we could get married. But I should warn you, I don't make a lot of money.
06:17Really? Well, you dress like you're doing well enough.
06:20This is a company suit. I work as a chauffeur for a CEO. I make about eight to nine thousand dollars a month.
06:32Eight to nine thousand. That's a lot more than I make.
06:36I'm sorry. I meant eight dollars to nine thousand a month. Yeah, I drive whenever he's in town and he travels a lot.
06:47Um, I think last month I made three thousand dollars.
06:50Well, that's not that bad. Do you own a house or renting?
06:59I live in Beverly Hills in a small home. Barely fits three people, let alone four.
07:05A house in Beverly Hills.
07:09That's like rich, rich. You say that you're the chauffeur. I mean,
07:14I feel like there are a lot of CEOs who couldn't afford to live there.
07:17You caught me. I don't know at home. My biggest flaw is that I brag a lot.
07:22Oh, what a coincidence. I'm in sales, so I brag all the time. But let me tell you, being poor is not scary.
07:30We have to aim high and one day we are going to achieve everything that we've ever bragged about.
07:34So something about me is I work in shoe sales. I make a base salary of about three thousand dollars a month.
07:39But if I sell a lot, I can get a bonus of up to ten thousand dollars a month.
07:42I have no house and no car, so we're basically meant for each other.
07:44But I... I'm gonna give you time to think. A good salesperson always gives the client time to think.
07:57If you don't marry mommy, I'll starve myself to this. I want to build ever again!
08:02Fine. Suit yourself. I don't get it. You don't even know this woman.
08:08Have you forgotten about the nanny that kidnapped both of you and then
08:12blackmail daddy for money? Do you want something like that to happen again?
08:17Marina, what's wrong? Did daddy scare you? I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.
08:21I'm hungry! I want to drink milk!
08:25Okay, go ahead.
08:26I can't! Martin said we can't drink milk until you agree to marry mommy!
08:31Martin, Denver!
08:32You decide. Do you value your children or your worthless ego?
08:40Fine. I'll marry her. Okay?
08:48Under one condition. You cannot tell her that we're rich. I want her to be sincere. Deal?
08:54Deal.
08:59Little brat.
09:03Martin, do we have to pretend like we're poor? Could I still have my seven million dollars
09:08allowance to buy more than diamonds?
09:10You silly! Our couple million dollars are nothing compared to dads. First we have to match them up,
09:16then all of daddy's money can become mommy's. Who's this?
09:22Hi, I'm, uh, Vincent. Your husband. Save my number.
09:29Oh my gosh, no way!
09:44The richest man in the city falls for a stranger one because of his kids.
09:49Yeah. Okay, come on.
09:52It's my fault.
09:52Really?
09:53If I didn't take you to drink seven years ago, then you wouldn't have been drunk and you wouldn't have
09:57gotten drunk and you wouldn't have had these cute kids. And then you also wouldn't have married a gold digger. So I, I'm sorry.
10:07Yeah, appreciate the apology.
10:08Yeah, no, truly.
10:09It wouldn't change my life forever.
10:11Meet me at the mall now.
10:14See, her true colors are showing all right.
10:19Um, excuse me? Could we just grab these two, please?
10:22You came here just to get the kids' toys?
10:24Of course. It's my first time being a mom, so I just want to get them something special.
10:31These two are $1,000 each, so that would be $2,000 total, ma'am.
10:36Uh, $2,000?
10:39For two toys.
10:41Um, can you give us, like, a discount or something?
10:46These are limited edition and designer.
10:49They don't do discounts.
10:54Come on. I work at the place right across the street. I can give you 20% off the next time you come in.
11:00These all have fixed prices. Maybe you could go browse a 99 cent store.
11:05Sure. Sure.
11:13I'll get them.
11:16Mommy, why don't you give me something, too?
11:20How does this look?
11:22That's worth $50,000. I doubt you could afford that.
11:26It's just $50,000. Let Mommy try it on.
11:33I don't think so, because if you break it, you won't be able to pay for even a fraction of the price.
11:40Daddy, can we get that for Mommy, please?
11:46Okay, okay. Um...
11:48Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. How can you afford that?
11:51What happened here?
11:57I'm just here to get two dollars for my kids. Do you think you can get us a discount?
12:04Of course, of course. Today is your lucky day.
12:08You know, the designer is offering a 90% discount to couples just like you, who truly value it.
12:18Great.
12:26Thanks.
12:28Your kids are beautiful, by the way.
12:30Oh.
12:31They look exactly like you. Right down to the birthmark.
12:40That's an odd coincidence.
12:44Welcome. Welcome, welcome. My name is Barry. I'm the real estate agent, Mr.
12:51Vincent Arranged.
12:53So, can you follow me inside?
12:57Right here? Fantastic.
13:04Ta-da.
13:09This is amazing.
13:10But we cannot afford this, Vincent.
13:14Well, not so fast. Let's see what Barry has to offer.
13:18Yeah. Yeah, it's uh, it's actually only, uh, five...
13:23What? One thousand dollars a month.
13:28What? How is that possible?
13:32Oh, you know, the, uh, the owners are this old couple that retired abroad and, uh, you know,
13:38they just love the idea of a perfect little family moving in, living as happy as they were.
13:42Oh.
13:42Oh.
13:43So you guys fit the picture.
13:45We sure are.
13:47We've got money.
13:48I mean, aren't we lucky?
13:53All right, settle then. We'll move in tonight.
13:56Yeah.
13:56Well, great.
13:58I'm gonna cook our first meal in this house tonight.
14:00And I will find the wine, you know.
14:02I'm somewhat of an expert at finding amazing cheap wine.
14:07Ready?
14:07Come on, guys. Kitchen?
14:09Yeah, yeah.
14:10You kiddos have fun.
14:11Come on, bro. You can't give me an apartment to rent for a thousand a month?
14:19This is the cheapest house I own, but, uh, thanks, bud.
14:34Okay, guys. Come on. Can you help me?
14:41All right, this really is delicious. Is there anything you can't do?
15:00I can't juggle.
15:02Okay, but seriously, but, like, how did you gain so many skills?
15:08Well, there are three simple steps.
15:11First, your mom dies young.
15:13Second, your father marries his mistress.
15:17And third, you have an abusive stepmother and a bully for a stepsister.
15:22After that, you can learn pretty much anything.
15:27Isn't that Cinderella story, Mommy? Are you Cinderella?
15:30Then that makes Daddy the prince.
15:33Hey, you two are supposed to be asleep.
15:35I have a point, though.
15:38I sell crystal shoes and your daddy drives a pumpkin carriage.
15:47Let me clean these dishes for you, my prince.
15:49No, I'll take care of it, Cinderella.
15:51You just sit and relax.
16:01Mr. Johnson.
16:02This is my marriage certificate.
16:09So do you know when I can expect that boat?
16:13So you're married?
16:14Yes.
16:17No worries.
16:18That makes this more exciting.
16:21You can have your bonus.
16:23Right here, right now.
16:24Do you agree to let me?
16:26Show some respect, Andy.
16:28I'm recording this.
16:29And you're going to be in big trouble if my husband sees it.
16:32Oh, I did some research.
16:34Your husband is just a chauffeur.
16:37You're destined to be with me.
16:39If you come any closer, I swear I'll fight you.
16:41No, get off!
16:43Get away from me!
16:48Destined to be with my wife, huh?
16:49You really don't take me seriously, do you?
16:51You're a nobody.
16:54Why should I?
16:55Because I can see your future.
16:57Your destiny will be fired out of me.
17:01They'll be black and blue in five minutes.
17:02Bullshit!
17:05Keep an eye on him.
17:06I need to make a call.
17:07Yell if he tries something else.
17:08Okay.
17:12Melody, you can say goodbye to your fucking bonus.
17:15On top of that, you and your husband better figure out how much money you're paying me for
17:19medical bills, or I'll fucking ruin you.
17:25Yes, boss?
17:26What?
17:28Fired?
17:29Hello?
17:31Hello, boss?
17:33Someone told us to teach you a lesson.
17:36Please, come with me.
17:38We don't want to make a scene.
17:39What?
17:39No, there must be some misunderstanding.
17:41I-
17:41Melody!
17:47You okay?
17:48Yeah.
17:49No, I'm fine.
17:50Are you some kind of fortune teller or something?
17:53Well, I know a thing or two.
17:54Really?
17:58Then do you know when I'm going to get my $15,000 bonus?
18:04Let's see here.
18:05Oh.
18:07Oh, hey, look at that.
18:08You see?
18:09What did-
18:09Boom.
18:10Oh.
18:13What?
18:14Oh my gosh, he paid!
18:17He paid!
18:18What?
18:18How?
18:27So, things are going pretty good between you two love breeds, right?
18:31I'm not falling in love, or anything.
18:34Yeah, she wishes.
18:37Hey!
18:38You're squaring my fame?
18:41Just come to my clinic on my face.
18:44Sure.
18:45I'm so happy.
18:46I know.
18:51Oh!
18:52Whoa!
18:53Oh!
18:53What?
18:54Oh!
18:55Oh!
18:55Oh!
18:55Oh!
19:06Oh!
19:07Oh!
19:07Oh!
19:08Oh!
19:09Oh!
19:09Oh!
19:09Oh!
19:10Oh!
19:11Oh!
19:12Oh!
19:13This scar...
19:42It looks like the one-night stand I had right before I was pregnant.
19:49Shouldn't you two be in bed by now?
19:51Mommy, we want to sleep with you tonight.
19:53What are you up to, Martin?
19:55Because you two have been sleeping alone for the past two years.
19:58Well, they asked for me, not you.
20:01So it's not like we're going to sleep in the same bed.
20:04No, of course not.
20:05We want Daddy to sleep with us, too.
20:13Martin, I'm losing my patience. Stop this right now.
20:17But I want Daddy to sleep with us, too.
20:35That's what my Daddy will have for when he gets cold.
20:47Genius!
20:48Okay, let's go.
21:05These abs and muscles.
21:11Melody, what are you thinking?
21:14It's been so long since I've touched a man.
21:24What are you doing? Are you taking advantage of me?
21:28Taking advantage of you?
21:30Take a look at whose blanket you're under.
21:32Martin!
21:33Vincent, calm down.
21:39He obviously just took the blanket in the middle of the night because he was cold.
21:42Besides, you're my legal husband, so I can touch you however and whenever I want.
21:48Well, aren't you a hooligan.
21:49All right, guys. Time for breakfast.
21:52Yay!
21:53Let's go. Come on.
21:59Why is this bed so hard?
22:03Frank, get me a new mattress. Make it soft.
22:11Yeah, yeah. $500,000 one should be fine.
22:13I hope, my dear, said Mr. Bennett to his wife, as they were at breakfast the next morning, that you've ordered...
22:20Wait, what is that? Where did you get that?
22:24I saw it on the side of the road and thought I'd bring it home. That's right.
22:30Lucky.
22:31Isn't this a Bacheron Constantine? Isn't that crazy expensive? How did you get it?
22:43Uh, this is, uh, it's like a, a, um, it's a fake.
22:52I mean, I mean, who can afford a $5 million watch and there's only like 10 in the world?
22:58Five million?
23:00And there are only 10 in the world?
23:02He's lying.
23:03Impressive.
23:11You think you could get me like 10 of them?
23:13It'd be really funny to give to my friend as a gift.
23:16Yeah, yeah, of course. Anything for you.
23:18Thanks.
23:20Okay, let's see.
23:23What page was it?
23:24Oh, welcome.
23:35How can I help you?
23:38What are you doing here?
23:42Oh, sis.
23:44I didn't know you worked here.
23:46If I'd known sooner, I would have laughed for a few more days.
23:50I bet you regret cutting ties with the family now.
23:54Yes.
23:56I deeply, deeply regret it.
23:58That I didn't leave that toxic house any sooner.
24:01So I wouldn't have had to see how ugly you truly are.
24:05You act so tough.
24:08I don't buy it for a second.
24:10Dad just bought me a new house in the outskirts.
24:13Jealous?
24:15You don't need to report your life to me.
24:17I'm not your boss.
24:18So if you aren't here to buy shoes, please leave.
24:21I have work to do.
24:22Who said I'm not buying anything?
24:25I look forward to your assistance.
24:30Personally.
24:30Personally.
24:31This is the highest selling pair this season.
24:46Hmm.
24:47How do I know if they look good or not without trying them on?
24:51So why don't you put them on me, sis?
24:59Could call daddy and say mommy's being bullied.
25:01Why do you think we both studied designing in school, but I'm working for a luxury brand and you're here putting them on?
25:21I mean, we both have the same father.
25:24Why are you such a disappointment?
25:27This pair is custom made by hand and only available to VIP clients, so it's pretty pricey.
25:36But that shouldn't be a problem for you, right?
25:39Since dad bought you that new house?
25:41Of course.
25:43Money is never a problem for me.
25:47Great.
25:48Well, this pair is $80,000.
25:51How would you like to pay?
25:52Wait, um, let me think about it.
25:59What the hell are you doing?
26:00I'm just sending a picture to our friends from high school.
26:04Oh, they said you look amazing.
26:07That's so sweet.
26:09Oh, can you not afford them?
26:11That's okay.
26:12I'll just tell them that you don't have the money.
26:14Of course I can afford them.
26:17Wonderful.
26:19Then that'll be $80,000.
26:20Cash or credit?
26:31Thank you so much for giving me two months' worth of bonus.
26:35And welcome back.
26:36Out of my way.
26:40Oh my gosh!
26:41Honey!
26:42Honey, are you okay?
26:43Are you hurt?
26:44I'm all good, Mommy.
26:45Come on.
26:46Mommy?
26:47I didn't know you had kids, sis.
26:49Mommy, marry Daddy, so she's our mommy now!
26:54Oh, you're with your stepmother.
26:57Melody, you really have gone downhill for your age.
27:02Mommy, Marina's hand is swollen.
27:04How could you harm a child?
27:06Are you even human?
27:08I only pushed her a little.
27:10What's the big deal?
27:11I don't need that.
27:15I pushed him, too!
27:18What are you going to do about it?
27:23Hello, 911?
27:25There's been an accident at May 1st Square Idea Shoe Store.
27:29Someone's injured quite badly.
27:31Pauline, 911, for a little scratch.
27:34What are you doing?
27:40It was for you.
27:41Ah!
27:43Are you out of your mind, Melody?
27:46I'm your customer.
27:48I'm your customer, my ass!
27:50Ah!
27:52Ah!
27:53Ah!
27:53Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:54Ah!
27:55Ah!
27:56Ah!
28:04Ah!
28:05Ah!
28:31Ah!
28:31Ah!
28:32Ah!