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Cinema Series US Film
  • 5/29/2025
Taskmaster Season 19 Episode 5
Taskmaster S19E05
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Fun
Transcript
00:00This was a mistake
00:30One of the many TV shows that my own nieces don't watch and yet am I expected to display your school photos in my home
00:49I doubt it
00:51They've gone in the drawer with years worth of your rubbish artwork
00:54I know you'll never hear this
00:57But it's enough for me to know that I've said it on TV quid pro quo you monsters
01:02Quid pro quo
01:04Moving along
01:07Please welcome to the show Fatih Al Gorey
01:11Jason Mantzuka
01:14Matthew Bainter
01:17Rosie Ramsey
01:20And Stevie Martin
01:23And next to me a man who drives an electric car and to quote him
01:31Not for the good of the planet, but because it makes my wife horny
01:35It's little Alex Horne
01:41What's happening sweet prince?
01:46I'm trying I'm trying to be brave for you Greg
01:50You know I struggle with accents
01:52Oh yeah
01:53I can't do them
01:53Well I can do them now
01:54I've had lessons
01:55OK
01:56So I'd like to demonstrate my new grasp of accents
01:58Are you ready?
01:59Yeah I'm ready for the joke that you cooked up six minutes ago
02:02I'm going to start with Beyonce
02:04I'm going to start with Beyonce
02:05Ready?
02:06OK
02:07There's one on the E
02:09And now I'm going to do the Quebec accent
02:13It's on the first E
02:15I'm now going to do the Oslo accent
02:19Good morning
02:21I am from Oslo
02:23Norway
02:24Huh?
02:25Let's get on with the price task
02:27Right
02:28Yes
02:29I'm going to get on, Greg
02:30And this time you've asked them to bring in
02:32The best object
02:33To bestow in your will to a relative against whom you are seeking revenge
02:37We've all thought about it
02:38We all want revenge
02:39And I shall have my revenge
02:41The object, Greg, thinks
02:43Is best to bestow will be gifted five points
02:45And the winner of the episode will have to update their will with five new objects
02:50Back to you, my sweet little Greg Forrest Gatto
02:53Matthew, what have you bought me to take revenge on a relative?
02:58I've brought a thousand-piece jigsaw of the Mona Lisa
03:00Oh
03:01Get this in your will
03:02I'd quite like that
03:03I think quite a lot of the things that I've brought
03:05I've brought a thousand-piece jigsaw of the Mona Lisa
03:08Oh, thank you
03:09You've got this in your will
03:10I'd quite like that
03:11I think quite a lot of nerds would like that
03:14So
03:15Well, this relative is not a nerd
03:17Interestingly, you have in your mind
03:20Picked a specific relative
03:22Did we not all?
03:26Let's call him Terry
03:29So every time Terry comes over
03:32I've got a jigsaw on the go
03:34And Terry begins to get the impression that I'm really into jigsaws
03:37Right
03:38So when I leave the Mona Lisa in my will
03:41Terry's going to think
03:43I guess I better do it in his memory
03:46And then how disappointed they would be
03:50When they find
03:54This is a piece that Matthew is going to be buried with
03:57So genuinely fiendish Matthew
04:03Rosie?
04:04I have brought
04:05Used coffee bean granules in the shape of a delicious
04:10Chocolate brownie
04:11Oh God, okay
04:13Here it is
04:14What I'm going to do
04:15Every time you come round
04:16I'm going to be making chocolate brownies
04:18Yeah
04:19I'm going to make them the most delicious chocolate brownies
04:20Yeah
04:21Delicious
04:22That they've ever had in their life
04:23And then when I die
04:24I'm going to get my coffee granules
04:26And I'm going to leave it with a note for them saying one last time
04:31Then it'll be disgusting
04:33And they'll never forget it
04:35Great, I mean that would be absolutely horrific
04:37Jessen
04:38What are you planning to do to your most dislikable relative?
04:42Okay, so
04:44I collect a lot of art, right?
04:47Right
04:48But not like good art
04:49A lot of weird stuff
04:51So here's the thing
04:52There are times when I am up late at night
04:56Going on websites to buy random paintings, okay?
04:59I do not remember purchasing this painting
05:02But it arrived at my house
05:04Imagine my surprise
05:06Here it is
05:07Is this not the most haunted thing you've ever seen?
05:15I hate it
05:16Yes
05:17I don't care for it either
05:19This task allows me an opportunity to offload this nightmare
05:24I'm so sorry for whoever gets it
05:26Wow, I mean it is god awful
05:29Yeah
05:30Stevie, can you beat the disembodied floating heads of children?
05:34I think it is quite root one, but I wouldn't like this
05:36So it's like a really interesting looking old envelope
05:40Okay
05:41That makes you be like, hang on, what's going on here?
05:43There's the envelope
05:44Yeah, there's the envelope
05:45Interesting
05:46So when you open it
05:47This is what happens?
05:48Lot of glitter and it says, ha ha, you're a twat
05:51LAUGHTER
05:52APPLAUSE
05:53Very clever really, you've lowered my expectations so much
05:58But I quite liked, ha ha, you're a twat
06:00LAUGHTER
06:01Ah, my old friend
06:05You all right, baby?
06:08What have you brought us?
06:09I mean, I dread to think what revenge you're going to take
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13Oh my god
06:14So, I brought pillows
06:16She brought pillows?
06:17Yeah
06:18And then, but the pièce de résistance
06:21Is the little note
06:22Could you please show us the note, Alex?
06:24There's a word I didn't understand, but it says this
06:26LAUGHTER
06:27So let me give you the context, right?
06:30I've got an auntie who's a BITCH
06:32LAUGHTER
06:35And basically, for three birthdays on the trot
06:38The bitch has got me pillows
06:40LAUGHTER
06:41Is that the one reason she's a bitch?
06:43Yeah!
06:44Because she buys you pillows?
06:45Yeah!
06:46So she hasn't done anything?
06:47She's not been rude to you?
06:48No!
06:49She cooks the best couscous in the world
06:51But I won't eat it
06:52LAUGHTER
06:54The first time you got the pillows
06:55Are you happy with that?
06:56Yeah, I was happy
06:57Right
06:58Because I mentioned once that I need pillows
06:59Why not?
07:00See, what?
07:01She's got you something you like
07:02Yeah, but not free ties
07:04LAUGHTER
07:05Well, this is your mistake
07:06You should be saying in between things you like
07:09Things that you need next year
07:10Yeah
07:11This year I need a kettle
07:12A kettle
07:13What the hell am I, a 70-year-old woman?
07:15LAUGHTER
07:16Get ready to receive a painting, ladies
07:20LAUGHTER
07:21Right, Greg
07:22What is the least good revenge?
07:24I feel sorry for Stevie a little bit
07:26Come on!
07:27LAUGHTER
07:28Oh, my pillows!
07:29It's not that bad, is it?
07:31It could be seen as just like a
07:32Ah, you twat
07:33Love you
07:34It's the glitter element
07:35You've forgotten that element
07:36Oh, God, yes
07:37I'm sorry, five points
07:38LAUGHTER
07:40So there's one point to Stevie
07:41When I think about this beautiful head
07:44Popping down for the night
07:47He doesn't want to pop his head onto some coffee grounds
07:50He wants to pop them onto some pillows
07:51So two points for the lovely pillows
07:53Two points for you, Fatia
07:54And big respect to your auntie
07:55She's going to be your auntie soon, so stop fighting her
07:58LAUGHTER
08:00Three points for the coffee grounds for Rosie
08:02OK, three to Rosie, thank you
08:04And now we're up with the really sinister things
08:07He won't like this
08:08And it's one of the reasons I'm going to do it
08:10I'm going to give you both five points
08:12Yes!
08:13OK, five points for the situation
08:15APPLAUSE
08:17Let's task two right
08:19And yes, please, Mummy, it's time to camp it up a bit
08:22MUSIC PLAYS
08:25MUSIC PLAYS
08:38Wow
08:40Hello
08:41Hi, Stevie
08:42Wow
08:43You like it?
08:44I love it
08:45It's like a spa, isn't it?
08:46Is it?
08:47A little bit
08:48Posh one
08:49I like this
08:50You like grottos?
08:51Yeah
08:52And it's great what people did before the internet
08:54LAUGHTER
08:57Be the least annoying person round the campfire
09:01Round the campfire
09:03Should have had a little apostrophe before the R
09:07Don't worry about it, I got it
09:08OK
09:09LAUGHTER
09:10Be the least annoying person round the campfire
09:14You must either sing a folk song
09:16Tell a ghost story
09:18Or recite a beat poem
09:20And not be annoying
09:22Your song, story or poem
09:25Must either be about fast cars
09:27Barbecues
09:28Or DIY
09:30And it can contain no more than 100 words
09:34You must perform your song, story or poem
09:37In ten minutes from now
09:39If I do a folk song, do I get an instrument?
09:42Yeah, I've got all the instruments
09:44All of them?
09:45You've got a little egg
09:46No?
09:47What's the beat poem?
09:48Is that the shit they do in America?
09:49Well, we can ask Jason
09:50Who's Jason?
09:51Who's Jason?
09:52He's the American on the show
09:53Oh
09:54Don't put that in
10:08I think we will
10:09I'm meant to be the least annoying
10:10Yeah, you are supposed to be
10:11Yeah
10:12You brought this
10:13Huge mistake
10:14Did you hear that?
10:15Yeah
10:16That's a problem
10:17The ghost of a moorhen
10:18You've got nine minutes left, Stevie
10:19It's not improv it
10:20But it's got to be no more than 100 words
10:21Oh shit
10:22When are you going to write this?
10:23I figured I'd freestyle it
10:24Oh, fine
10:25How much have you written so far, Stevie?
10:27I mean, given that the task centres around not being annoying, you calling back to a moorhead
10:53That wasn't part of the thing
10:56And as for you, you were annoying so many times
10:59I mean, you corrected the grammar on the task
11:03Yeah
11:04It doesn't look good, Jason, but let's see
11:06Am I going first?
11:07Yes, it is first
11:08A man whose co-stars on IMDb will soon read
11:11Keanu Reeves, Mark Wahlberg, Robert De Niro and little Alex Hornet's Jason Mandzukus
11:17This is a folk song for you
11:26Alex, we rode the rails together
11:30Up and down, east and west, north and south
11:36We did it all
11:37From sea to sea, marsh to bog, we made sweet love on a dead mossy log
11:46You're my best friend
11:49And I love you with all of my heart
11:53Alex
11:55Will you marry me?
12:00I don't think so
12:09What?
12:10I don't think so
12:11Barbecue, fast cars or DIY?
12:20Fast train cars
12:21I said we hop trains
12:22Oh, yeah, fast train cars
12:24Pretty sure train cars go probably faster than automobiles
12:29Do you need it spelled out for you?
12:31It's goddamn poetry
12:33Thank you so much, Jason
12:34Thank you, Alex
12:35But you have broken my heart
12:42I found the following things annoying
12:44Your smile
12:46Your confidence
12:47Your tone of voice
12:48The soundtrack you chose
12:50The rhyming scheme
12:51The mawkish insincerity
12:53The proposal
12:54And the smug explanation of your art
12:58And I added a footnote
13:00It wasn't even about fast cars
13:02It was about fucking and marrying my friend
13:05LAUGHTER
13:06Five points
13:08So, so far, so bad
13:10Next up, it's...
13:12I wish I could roll my R's
13:14It's Rosie Ramsey
13:17You ready?
13:18I can't wait
13:24Why do I keep dreaming?
13:27Of being alone with you
13:32Having a barbecue for our tea
13:36LAUGHTER
13:37Sausage burgers, halloumi
13:41We'll be on the menu
13:45Then we'll wash it all down with a Pinot Grinch
13:49It's the best way to eat
13:53Outside on a little seat
13:55Barbecuing is in my blood
13:56My dad is a barbecue stud
14:01In my town
14:05So why don't you join me
14:10Grab yourself a steward
14:14the sewer and slide on some of those veggies
14:32because I've got a long history of being irritated when people show us they can
14:36sing but I didn't find that irritating I thought it was genuine as you could tell
14:41from the studio reaction as well all of us enjoyed it thank you by stark contrast to Jason's
14:48that's the first part over time for a little interval but there's more camping coming up soon
14:55maybe sooner than you think oh shut up
14:57you shut up
15:09so welcome back to taskmaster it's part two and the cast are trying their best not to be annoying
15:16perhaps their hardest challenge yet quick reminder then their song story or poem must be no more than
15:23than 100 words and once again it has to be no more than 100 words here's fatia and stevie
15:42this is a true story
15:45once i was in morocco and it was eid right and it was the second eid which is the eid of sacrifice
15:55so you have to slaughter an animal so we slaughtered a goat and a goat is my favorite meat of you is do
16:00you eat meat yes i eat meat goat is the best meat don't you think yes this is not part of the poem it's
16:06not a poem it's a story a story am i taking out the goat stuff no no not like it just when i asked
16:11if you eat meat right okay and then this is for real yeah this is what happens at somebody's house
16:16and it was really nice because it's my favorite meat but up to about 90 words now okay i'm going
16:21to carry on okay because i've got to finish the story yeah yeah people want to hear it yes okay
16:25and then they brought out another tajin because that's what they do in morocco no i'm full she goes
16:29no you'll really like it and then she goes this is the best meat and she went like this and the goat
16:34that they'd slaughtered had a baby inside and that was the baby she went like this like a flag she
16:42said do you want to eat it and i said no thank you do you would you not find that scary yeah yeah
16:50yeah in it so that's it yeah that's it i think i once saw a ghost a barbecue i don't know really
16:56you saw a ghost at a barbecue yeah or maybe i didn't do you want a sausage yeah i'd love a sausage
17:05okay cool yeah i'm gonna get a sausage oh my god i see your technique clever thank you a ghost story
17:21that was neither here nor there thrown away yeah sometimes people fall at the last hurdle don't
17:26they and that sausage song just got to me i'm gonna get a sausage i went from naught to 100 miles an
17:36hour okay it was good apart from oh yeah i'm gonna get a sausage i can't stop singing that
17:42oh that's a good song then i'm gonna get a sausage
17:45if you love it sounds like you love it now you you monster i mean it's the worst thing i've ever heard
17:52in my life did you mistake ghost story for goat story that's the only explanation because there were no
18:01ghosts in there no but that was the only scary thing i could think of it's just awful was it annoying
18:10no prick oh christ yes just checking there's only one thing that can make me feel better and to make
18:16me forget that and it's gonna get us anything to make me forget her you'll never forget me
18:26okay what's next well finally his walls have got paint on his name is matt paint on here we go
18:31all these books and i need a shelf but the handyman is busy guess i'm in a pickle when it comes to all
18:49these books all these books all these books and i need a shelf but the handyman's in hospital
18:57guess i'm in a pickle when it comes to all these books we've all been there with no one to rely on
19:07we've all been there we don't know what to do
19:18who can i get to put up my shelf guess i better do it myself everybody
19:27i think i know all the moments you're gonna say there was only one where
19:50the the irritator meter started to go just only on one and it was just your shrug that was the only
19:55time you're kidding halfway even when i said everybody i did write everybody dad i need to
20:05mention the everybody again greg because matt has been hoisted by the small print before
20:10and the reprise prompted by everybody meant something happened i'm going to show you the reprise again
20:15everybody everybody who can i get to put up my shelf guess i better do it with my
20:33it's exactly 101 words
20:39it makes it less annoying
20:41i mean can you imagine writing something that enchanting and losing to jason
20:49so what are we going to do we can only allow people to get points who stuck to the word count
20:52sausage
20:56you do need to give points out to the other three though oh christ well this shouldn't be too hard
21:01that means i have to give him three points
21:05people won't take me seriously as a judge if i give you
21:07they don't anyway
21:12for the sake of my credibility one point god damn it god damn you for that
21:17shit this is appalling treatment of a foreigner on your home as is the british way
21:25where are we going with the point from here she wasn't annoying until the sausage bit at the end
21:33and i've sort of grown to like the sausage song as well three points well if she's second
21:37traditionally it's four in second all right i'm changing the system i'm giving jason two points
21:42two points to jess at least he stuck to the rules even though i'm so annoyed with him
21:46um four points to stevie and obviously five points to rosie well done rosie ramsey
21:55let's have a scoreboard please sure well fatia is on pretty much minimum points
21:59two rosie last week's winner is in the lead with eight points lovely
22:02one more for your taskmaster okay and here is an arty parked car task
22:23oh oh well you've won oh i've won this i don't want it please get into the vehicle okay
22:29okay i haven't passed my driving uh lessons oh i can see it's there's a twist i don't know how to
22:37drive okay but i've got road rage doesn't surprise me okay right draw the monster you must not turn
22:46around or leave the car if you fail to honk your horn when you see a lollipop lady you must surrender
22:54your picture for 30 seconds where's the horn and that'll be obvious what a lollipop lady is that's
23:03not a that's i've not i'm not familiar with the phrase lollipop lady most accurate monster picture
23:10wins you have five minutes your time
23:13starts now i can't see the monster you said i'm not allowed to turn around yeah oh but i can use
23:24something else
23:28not just a pretty face in it
23:35i was really worried about stevie's opening statement i haven't passed my driving lessons
23:42i still haven't where's the horn
23:46yeah non-drivers are a bit weird right i i don't really respect myself and have had a
23:50real psychological issue with not passing my test so thanks oh so you have tried oh i've done about
23:58150 hours and the last lesson i had i went through a stop sign and went around the roundabout the wrong
24:03way and he said you said you cannot do this why aren't you focusing and i was focusing so hard and
24:08then i started crying and then he took me to mcdonald's
24:16i'm in chief yeah jason yeah what did you think a lollipop lady i i genuinely had no idea i assumed
24:23a woman selling lollipops which i would absolutely believe is one of the
24:29bullshit things that would occur in this country
24:33let's go okay so here are all five drawing a monster and what i've called a monstage
24:39so is the can you tell me what about the monster can you tell me anything i've never seen the monster
24:46that's not a lollipop okay oh oh a bird isn't a monster um there's more than one
24:55is that a monster hold on how's your picture those are not monsters
25:06oh my guess is this is a lollipop lady
25:12hello
25:14ah that's the monster that's the monster that's the monster okay that is unequivocally a monster
25:20what do the monster look like listen shut your hole yeah
25:25why is this person coming uh are you away or parked in a no parking zone i mean i have no idea
25:32well can i see a driving license i'd rather not thank you i don't have one oh here's
25:37here's my wallet brilliant that's me it's just a recent photograph
25:42just about a year ago that's helpful i am still gonna have to issue you a parking why bro why
25:58you must turn on your hazard lights within the next 20 seconds or pay a fine of eight pens
26:04okay oh i noticed this one
26:06well we've passed the 20 seconds what are you talking about eight pens please okay yeah just let me
26:17oh come on i'd love a lift come on in yeah yeah get in buddy can i um get a lift no bro get out
26:26two more pens please it's gone it's a lollipop monster
26:32monster that is a monster who has ate a lollipop lady okay okay
26:44are we getting in why are we getting in why are we getting in hello everyone oh my god
26:54hi guys no did you turn that one no
27:02i was delighted that i could figure it out
27:15rose you didn't see the monster on the driving license i have woke up in cold sweats
27:20over this task oh wow we were the monsters weren't we were we meant to just draw ourselves wow
27:26oh
27:36of course not
27:38it was a monster there
27:41no what you should be working yes you were the only person who saw the picture of the thing you so
27:45you could have just painted you had yes oh what did you think i meant but on a deeper level yes
27:52yes it was walking around the car this is also a task master they don't do m night shamalan style twist
28:03yet we've been dead the whole time
28:05i died in the lab on the first task we've all given stuff away in our wills
28:15yes
28:16you the clues were there from the very start
28:24show me some pictures young man okay well i'll show you four of them i won't show you rosie's yet
28:28this is the first four and the monster you can see how well they've done yeah
28:32fattyers monster hasn't got a head presumably that was consumed as a family meal
28:39only one more monster to see so this is rosie's picture of the monster
28:49so did humans read the task was it draw the monster as if the monster had fallen off a building
28:55i just didn't think that was the monster and then two weeks later i thought i was the monster
29:01yeah yeah we know what you thought he's quite a sassy monster i'll give you that yeah he's quite
29:08showbiz isn't he he's a bit yeah so it is meant to be most accurate picture of the monster so here's all
29:15five and you can judge them are we saying that roses is the least accurate seems fair
29:20so one point to rosie stevie's one looks like it's got like five coats on i would have to agree with
29:27that yeah one and two points yes so it's one point rosie two to stevie okay well my instinct is that
29:33and feel free to disagree with the logic fattiest monster hasn't got a head
29:38i would probably put her in yes third play listen you're getting a bit aggressive okay you started as a
29:45thoughtful attentive man and now you're becoming an arsehole yeah well isn't that the dreary safari all
29:52relationships go on three points to fatty up so it's between jason and matthews jason's has a higher
30:00number of arms but he did get the pink wings he got the pink and purple hair but did he get the
30:04personality okay i'm afraid it's time for some adverts again alex's plastic slip-on shoes won't pay for
30:21themselves hello welcome back everybody next please yes it's now time for the hat in the lab
30:39by dr seuss here we go oh hello mushrooms matthew what what are you doing cooking mushrooms
31:00all right let's do this why have you got that on your head you look like something at mario brothers
31:14what's going on mushroom hat yes yeah i like mushrooms i like mushrooms a lot yeah but the
31:20only problem is it's never mushroom for anything else
31:23that's the longest spoon i've ever seen yeah i don't know where to hold it uh right at the end
31:30like this okay and then just do this there we go shorten these pencils and place your shortened
31:36pencils in the pencil case you have five minutes your time started when you mentioned the hat oh oh well
31:43god and got me chatting on shite you're such a prick bruv i'll see you all right okay you've only got three
31:50minutes i don't know if i mentioned the hat i've done it now haven't i you've got five minutes
31:55you've got four minutes your time started when you mentioned the goddamn hat yeah you've got three
31:59minutes jason son of a bitch wait that shit stinks what's going on the mushrooms
32:06right we have provided pencil sharpeners yeah but that's quicker don't look
32:12look at that come on you know what i've just thought you don't have to make them really short
32:20that's the best method isn't it because that is technically shorter
32:25they're shorter they are shorter yeah but no one else is going to eat the pencil
32:30ow so these are shorter therefore i have done the task yeah and i've won
32:35you want me to stop the toilet yeah bye oh not yet no oh god say bye that one as well
32:41oh oh i really don't like you no more write down every word you said in this room before opening
32:53this task also you must write the same number of words in each color otherwise your total will be
32:59halved most accurate legible words wins you must not leave the lab your time started when you started
33:07reading this task oh my god do you remember what you said to me no idea right
33:17i mean in many ways you've been one of the most affable group of people we've had on the
33:21show but the naked aggression that's been shown towards alex i so approve of it
33:26what you called a prick early doors during that a son of a bitch it's just wonderful stuff was this
33:34the first one we filmed yeah first which means that as soon as he walked in the first time he saw me
33:39he threw a bottle at me rosie yeah on reflection would you still go with the mushroom gag or never
33:46never i was nervous just came out your face said it all afterwards like yeah on reflection stevie
33:54would you have bitten the ends off the pencils i thought we had to make them as short as humanly
33:58possible which of course you didn't you were just asked to shorten them yes that yes i misread
34:03it you actually said at one point didn't you i bet no one's going to bite the pencil yeah quite
34:07proudly yeah the whole world's like no why are you doing that yeah commendably these four knew
34:14that wasn't the task really didn't say shortest or fastest you were quite cleverly not doing what
34:20you did yeah it's not been a great episode for me okay okay first up it's rose matafeo sorry it's
34:27rosie matt and fatio here we go write down every word you said in this room before opening the task
34:34i said mush i said the joke the first thing i said was mushrooms and after that it's gonna go
34:44down the hill what did i call you a prick okay mushrooms stinky mushrooms cooking mushrooms i think
34:51i said and then i think i said the joke wrong did i say you look nice something like that okay
34:59it doesn't say you have to write with alternate hands oh shit you have to write them in a different
35:07colour i definitely said more than this quite a lot hmm it's how hard it's not is it is it a word
35:19it's just a scene i'm gonna take out the ha-has but then i need to write something else okay you've got
35:2420 seconds oh my god that's all i've got bro isn't it what do you want an essay
35:37that second part of the task really shines a light on the old mushroom gag doesn't it oh god
35:43i said it completely wrong i don't think i even know the joke properly you started adding to it
35:47like a true professional i think you just wrote prick and mushrooms up on that whiteboard did you no i
35:52didn't i wrote loads of other stuff and i was the only one that did it correct because you're
35:55supposed to write in the red and the blue and i actually did that well the others did also did
36:00also do that okay we did the same numbers in red as in blue so yes three of these people will have
36:07their numbers hard matthew yeah you remembered mushroom i remembered that i'd walked into the room
36:13and said mushroom mushroom right and then you had to guess from that point onwards and you guessed that the
36:19second thing you would say to alex was you look nice so what did matthew get so he only wrote 14
36:26correct words and we have to half that because he didn't do the same in red and blue so seven is
36:30your total rosie she wrote down 29 that she had said before and she did use the correct ones in red
36:35and blue so pretty good and fatia 22 correctly so so far we've got 29 22 and seven i mean it did
36:42include if my hijab smells you will get punched but one part to go will someone win and wrestle the
36:52final piece of matt's jigsaw out of his pocket yes i know it's hard to care we'll see you in a minute
36:58the final part of the show the five were in the lab where first of all they had to sharpen their
37:18pencils oh yes and then they received part two where they had to write down every word they said
37:24before they'd open the task ideally the same number of words in each color most accurate
37:29legible words wins and also i was on mushrooms last up it's steve and jace i have fucked it
37:38it didn't say short as pencil wins no and you did say you can use them still i can
37:42every word i said in this room okay i'm just gonna guess i probably said said the word the didn't i
37:46okay i think i said let's do this probably i've lost the pencil i've lost the pencil
38:04i think i was doing that with my nail varnish
38:08oh i mean it doesn't say it says two two different colors i've lost the first one
38:13i'm gonna use my nail varnish so then i said write down every word you said in this room
38:29before oh god damn it yeah you said those after said those after alex
38:37so i'm fucked i'm well fucked well you can drop things down i suppose i can yeah you can't leave the
38:41room so you can't get an eraser oh you're gonna use the sandpaper i'm assuming this is what the
38:47sandpaper is for it looks like it mushroom i said butter come on pencil cake
38:57how long have i got 30 seconds okay i'm running out of nail varnish
39:03uh one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven one two three four five six seven eight
39:07nine nine nine ten eleven twelve uh no 15 seconds uh i said uh spoon that's a long spoon isn't it
39:14fuck it looks like spoggen
39:21ow
39:27got it
39:27i mean i'm not gonna lie i crushed it
39:39this is an incredible destructive streak from the first task both incredibly destructive both ended in
39:48absolute carnage but there's a distinction this felt willful and what i wrote down for you stevie was
39:56does stevie need to speak to our after show support teams
40:01did either of them get any words jason did do very well he he did he wrote down 34 of the words
40:06that he said before and that was before he started this clever technique which wasn't quite
40:09right but he did really well unfortunately didn't do the same in each color so we have to halve it
40:13to 17 words stevie obviously we feel sound for you you also didn't do the same in each color so
40:19your 19 words gets halved i've counted as well yeah you counted wrong jesus so when this starts
40:25matt gets one point stevie you do get two jason three four to fatia but five to rosie ramsey
40:33let's see the scores once more yes well stevie and fatia in joint fourth on nine
40:39incredibly jason's in the lead with 15 points
40:53what's cooking baby boy stevie martin's going to read out the task stevie martin over to you pop a
41:03balloon when you hear its color last to pop is eliminated if you pop early you're eliminated
41:11last player standing wins greg's going to read a story out okay in the story there will be colors
41:17when you hear a color you've got to pop it the last person to pop is out or if you pop early you're
41:23out it might be a homophone of the color he might say the isle of white which is not spelt the same
41:28as a color but that would count and how would you know that that sorry that would count that would
41:35count if anyone's worried about the banging of the balloons we do have this but it will interfere
41:39with the story i suppose can i have them yeah fair enough so just get ready and pop your biodegradable
41:45balloons we're ready it was the morning of the 46th birthday party of little alex horn no one was
41:52excited but it was a beautiful day the sky was clear the sun was bright and the grass was looking
42:00even more neatly mowed than usual as is tradition the party was held at his local chesham bowling green
42:09to start the party
42:16damn it well a couple of you might be out jason's burst two balloons i was going for green and
42:25hit yellow by accident did he even say green
42:28i'm out yes you're out jason doesn't appear to have many balloons left
42:38i'm gonna have to pop these balloons now okay can i turn around let me turn around yeah you turn
42:41around okay go on then okay oh we have two people in last place you ready yeah yeah to start the party
42:51alex read all of his birthday cards it was from
42:59yes yes yes oh oh it is my birthday okay is that what you do when i just got a bit horny
43:17incredibly we're already at the final greg are you ready yes one of his birthday cards was from the
43:24mayor and had all of his favorite fruits on apples a bunch of bananas and his favorite of the citrus
43:31family a lovely round grapefruit alex heard his phone ring yeah he answered it was his uncle calling to
43:42ask if alex had opened his small inexpensive gift the signal wasn't great so alex had to yell oh yes i did
43:50thank you thank you and i did it second so i win sorry i need this other support staff nearby
44:12so the task was pop the balloon when you hear its color and i guess he did say yellow i clearly said yellow
44:20i've accidentally i've accidentally i mean ironically the most irritating thing he's done so far
44:37everybody
44:40whether it's a sick and kind act of altruism or not he popped his balloon and so i guess
44:47that kindness should be rewarded and stevie should get the point oh there we go she didn't get five
44:50points
44:55come down here and we'll let those to your final scores
45:04a law happened in that task fatia did a listening task wearing ear defenders and still did just as bad as
45:09jason who came joint four to get two points each yes then of course rosie was in third gets three points
45:16matthew's demanded to come in second he gets four so stevie gets the five points well i don't like it
45:24i know well i don't like it either because it means the final league table looks like this
45:28we have joint winners now oh god rosie and jason so we both get all the prizes no what we've got
45:37jason is a hole punch tie break they had to make as many holes in a sheet of paper as possible but
45:42could only use the hole punch once most holes wins let's see what happened
45:52i don't know what i'm doing
45:52how am i doing on time do you have 30 seconds 10 seconds
46:0034 34 34 holes 44 44 44 44 jason wins the paper jason
46:13miles you can't win
46:23please go and get through some of the things you've bestowed in some world
46:27so what have we learned today well i guess we've learned that people always try their best to be
46:36nice to be considerate to others but sometimes when we put humans under extreme pressure they reveal
46:43things that they don't want anyone to know about themselves maybe we're the monsters
46:50half done half to go but for now it's all about jason matzuka
46:58so
47:07so