- 29/05/2025
O jovem e gênio da tecnologia Alan Resnick compartilha seus segredos de imortalidade, junto com seu avatar digital Teddy.
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00:00Meet Alan Resnick, the hot young tech wizard who revolutionized the computer industry.
00:05Back at OpenGL, RAM swapping with internet.
00:08He has touched thousands of people.
00:11A big part of my life was just gone.
00:14But then I met Mr. Resnick.
00:16Imagine the fastest computer you've ever seen.
00:20No double.
00:21People don't die if people's bodies die. He taught me that.
00:24So take a seat at Alan's exclusive seminar and learn his secrets for immortality.
00:30Thank you, Mr. Resnick.
00:34I don't know how to thank him. It's just, it's a miracle.
00:44Are you ready to live forever, you guys?
00:47My name is Alan Resnick and I'm so excited to be here.
00:50I found the secret to eternal life and I found it on my lap book pro.
00:56Now you're looking at me and you're saying, Alan, you are so smart. You are so small.
01:00What is your origin tale?
01:01Well, it all started two years ago.
01:05Me and Janet were having a bit of a lover's quarrel and she's got me sleeping on the couch.
01:10Now I don't mind. I'm fine with it. I'm snoozing and I'm having a dream.
01:14I'm in a foggy meadow and in the distance I hear a voice calling me,
01:18Alan, Alan, just like that.
01:20And the fog clears to reveal a beautiful, nude woman.
01:25And she's saying, Alan, I'm ready for you. Put your dirt in me.
01:29And I'm thinking, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute.
01:32I'm in enough trouble with the wife as it is. This is the last thing I need.
01:36But I do it anyways.
01:39And right as I'm about to seal the deal, out of nowhere, I get shot.
01:43With a gun. And it completely, completely destroyed my face.
01:50And that's how I got my fantastic idea.
01:53What if I could back myself up like my best favorite MP3 file?
01:57Or like a TIFF or a PDF.
02:01And after two months of hard work, I had done it.
02:04I had made an exact digital copy of myself.
02:06And I'm so excited to introduce to you my co-host and best friend in the whole world.
02:11He's exactly like me in every way.
02:12He calls himself Teddy.
02:14I don't know why.
02:14My name is Alan.
02:19Hello. My name is Teddy.
02:21I was created to be an exact digital backup of Alan Resnick.
02:25My purpose is to replace Alan Resnick at the time of his death.
02:30Thank you.
02:30Well, that's true, Teddy.
02:31But you're also here to help me explain my four-step program
02:34to live forever as you are now through 3D scanning and other digital archiving techniques.
02:39Step number one is the most important step.
02:45Getting to know yourself.
02:47Now, you're probably thinking,
02:48Alan, I think I know myself pretty well.
02:50I've spent every day of my life by myself.
02:53There's nothing about me that you can tell me that I don't already know.
02:56Well, I got some bad news for you, Mason.
02:59No one knows you.
03:00You see, by the age of six,
03:03every human brain has formed a small calcified pebble called the Schrader Clot,
03:07which prevents any amount of self-awareness.
03:09But don't worry, because I've come up with an exercise to help us move past that pebble.
03:14All you have to do is look.
03:18Look at your face in the mirror.
03:19Look at your eyes.
03:21Look at the nose, the mouth, the philtrum.
03:23You're going to do this for five hours every night,
03:26then just borrow a pen or a pencil from a buddy or friend,
03:28flip off that light switch,
03:29and draw an image of what you think you saw in the mirror.
03:34Now, hang up those drawings all over your house
03:36to remind you of what you did in the bathroom.
03:38I love my wife.
03:41She is...
03:42nice.
03:43My name is Teddy.
03:47Step number two is my favorite, favorite step.
03:51You're going to come to my house.
03:52I'm going to stroll blindingly bright lights into your eyes and face
03:55while you spin in my living room.
03:58Now, my patterns are going to be queered by your head form,
04:01and they're going to generate three-point cloud axes.
04:03Axes.
04:04X-I.
04:04And then all you have to do is bullying the axe-eye,
04:07and you're going to end up with a 3D model mesh of your head.
04:10It captures every wrinkle, every tear.
04:13After all, it's our imperfections that make us human, right, Teddy?
04:16I am sorry, Alan.
04:18I didn't understand what you just said.
04:20Please clarify statement.
04:22I said it's our imperfections.
04:25Imperfection.
04:26Do not be perfect.
04:27Defect.
04:28Flaw.
04:28Deformation.
04:29Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:33Okay.
04:34Have you ever gone over to your girlfriend's house,
04:37and she's covered her face in disgusting makeup,
04:40and you find out that all of a sudden you don't love her anymore?
04:44It's not her fault.
04:45It's not your fault.
04:46It's actually science.
04:47See, she didn't know it at the time,
04:49but she had just destroyed that natural, luminescent quality
04:52that makes a woman beautiful.
04:53Beautiful.
04:53Like a grape or a candle.
04:55Now, that's a property called the Uncanny Valley.
04:59The Uncanny Valley states that when a non-human object
05:02begins to appear more human,
05:05it starts to get really cute.
05:07Cute.
05:07To a point.
05:08And then it becomes creepy.
05:10I love my beautiful wife.
05:14It's like this.
05:15Imagine I'm jogging.
05:16And I love to jog, so I'm jogging.
05:19And out of nowhere,
05:20damn it,
05:21I stub my toe on a rock.
05:24On an ugly rock.
05:25But hey,
05:26I got my pen here.
05:28Maybe I'll draw two eyes on the rock.
05:29And now all of a sudden, whoa.
05:31This rock's looking kind of cute.
05:34I'm starting to like this rock.
05:36What if I draw a nose and a mouth on the rock?
05:39And now all of a sudden, whoa.
05:41This is the cutest rock I've ever seen.
05:43I can't believe I'm falling in love with a stone.
05:46And then you're going to want to coat the rock in skin and flesh.
05:50And ooh, Uncanny Valley.
05:54Your rock fell down into the Uncanny Valley.
05:56It's down here with moving corpses.
05:57And this is where your girlfriend lives.
05:59And we're going to try to hop on over
06:00and land on the other side
06:02with a believable human with real skin and flesh.
06:09Now, I got an internship at the morgue.
06:11And I found out that every human face
06:13can contain as many as six muscles.
06:16And those muscles expand and contrapt
06:18and wibble and nibble and pull and tug at the skin.
06:20Ooh, that's a lot of stress.
06:23Skin stress. Skin stress test.
06:27I put every avatar I make
06:29through a variety of intensive skin stress tests.
06:32I do ball test.
06:34Yes, I have wiggle test.
06:36Whoever said I didn't have wiggle test was lying.
06:39I shake up those avatars.
06:40And last but not least,
06:42we have durability and tear testing.
06:44Because the last thing you want
06:45is your avatar skin to rip or tear
06:48when you're trying to chat about your day.
06:50Do I get to see my wife?
06:51Don't, don't.
06:53So that's it.
06:53We've created a real-life avatar.
06:55I guess I can just go home now.
06:57Bye-bye.
06:59Oh, wait.
07:00You forgot the personality
07:01and it's only the most important step.
07:11I'm going to come into your house.
07:13I'm going to come into your home
07:14and I'm going to stay with you for two months.
07:16I'll bring a cotton humidifier
07:18and I'm going to find out what makes you you
07:20every morning you're going to wake up
07:22with me on top of you.
07:23I'm going to ask you hundreds of personal questions.
07:26Hundreds of personal questions.
07:28Things like,
07:29have you ever caught a friend telling a lie?
07:31What was the worst thing you ever had
07:33to clean off of a rug?
07:34What's the best pair of lips you ever kissed?
07:36How many books do you own?
07:38Have you ever had a soft-shell crab?
07:40How much water can you drink?
07:42How many times did you catch a ball
07:45at the ball game you went to?
07:47How do you feel when you touch a little dog's hair?
07:49What is it like to have your hand covered in old glue?
07:53And all that information gets scanned in
07:55and it gets put into the USB drive of your computer.
07:58And it makes the brain of your avatar.
08:01So now my avatar doesn't just look like me,
08:05he also thinks like me.
08:08Here, I'll prove it.
08:09Hey, Teddy, when I do pasta,
08:11do I do spinny or bow tie?
08:14My wife has hair.
08:17When my Morgan passed away,
08:19I was devastated.
08:22I never thought anyone could replace her.
08:24But then I met Mr. Resnick.
08:26And he replaced her.
08:28He replaced her exactly.
08:30And life again is wonderful.
08:31Are we riding in the car?
08:34I love to ride in the car.
08:36Isn't that great?
08:38She loves the car.
08:40Come on in.
08:41Come on in.
08:43And we'll see what's here.
08:44I think there's a bird.
08:46Maybe a frog down here.
08:49This room is cold.
08:50Oh, hello, Trish.
08:52This room is too cold.
08:53Oh, you know what I think it is?
08:56I do not like being cold.
08:57But I think today is Monday.
09:00It is cold.
09:01Oh, Trish.
09:01This room is too cold.
09:04It was Mom's idea.
09:06Do you have a boogie board?
09:08I love boogie boards.
09:10I don't like boogie boards.
09:12I like football.
09:14I have to go out of town on business a lot these days.
09:17And that's just not fair to the new Morgan.
09:20So I went through the process myself.
09:22Hello.
09:23Oh, hello.
09:24I love to watch TV.
09:26Does this car get good gas mileage?
09:28Are we watching Murphy Brown?
09:30Roll down the windows, please.
09:32Goodbye.
09:33Goodbye.
09:34Bye.
09:42Remarkable.
09:43I have touched so many lives with this remarkable technology.
09:47Teddy, thank you so much for helping me share this message tonight.
09:54You are welcome, Alan.
09:56You're my only son, and I built you in my image.
10:00I love you, Teddy.
10:01I love my wife.
10:03This is my wife.
10:11It is so nice to spend every day with your best friend.
10:15She is nice, and she is pretty, too.
10:18What you're doing makes no sense, and it breaks my heart.
10:21And looks aren't everything, but it's nice to have a total package.
10:26And my wife is nice and pretty.
10:30He's his own guy, so he just, it's fine.
10:33I'm not mad.
10:34I think it's actually kind of manipulative.
10:37Manipulative.
10:38But it's disappointing, too.
10:39So it's like, whatever.
10:40These things happen.
10:41I'm just moving on.
10:41Folks, we live in a very spooky-style world.
10:45No one's going to do it for you, but all you have to do is take that first step,
10:49reach for that sweet, sweet fruit,
10:51and make nothing else you ever do ever matter.
10:55If you would like to live forever as you are now,
10:57visit our website at www.liveforeverasyouarenowwithalanresnick.net.
11:11www.liveforeverasyouarenowwithal.com
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