- 5/25/2025
Get ready for non-stop laughs as Sal, Joe, Q, and Murr take their outrageous hidden camera antics to the grocery store! From awkward conversations to over-the-top dares, these are the funniest and most insane grocery store pranks from Impractical Jokers.
📺 Watch as innocent shoppers get caught in the chaos — and the Jokers push the limits of embarrassment!
Don't forget to like, comment, and follow for more hilarious mashups and prank moments!
👍 Subscribe for more laughs:
📲 Follow us on social media for updates and behind-the-scenes content.
#ImpracticalJokers #truTV #ComedyMashup #HiddenCamera #GroceryStorePranks #FunnyVideos #TVComedy #BestOfImpracticalJokers #Pranks #MashupMoments #SalJoeQandMurr
📺 Watch as innocent shoppers get caught in the chaos — and the Jokers push the limits of embarrassment!
Don't forget to like, comment, and follow for more hilarious mashups and prank moments!
👍 Subscribe for more laughs:
📲 Follow us on social media for updates and behind-the-scenes content.
#ImpracticalJokers #truTV #ComedyMashup #HiddenCamera #GroceryStorePranks #FunnyVideos #TVComedy #BestOfImpracticalJokers #Pranks #MashupMoments #SalJoeQandMurr
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FunTranscript
00:00Today, we're at Fairway Market
00:01playing one of our favorite games, Putt Pocketing.
00:04Sneaking pencils onto unsuspecting shoppers.
00:08You don't actually have to get the pencil in their pocket.
00:10As long as it stays on them, you're good.
00:13The shopper must keep all your pencils
00:14in order for your score to count.
00:16Whoever hides the most pencils in a customer wins.
00:18In.
00:19In.
00:20-♪♪
00:23Where were those?
00:24In.
00:25-♪♪
00:30All right, fellas, uh,
00:31I'm gonna try something out here.
00:32Okay.
00:33So, we're gonna Trojan horse it.
00:37Oh, wow.
00:40This is impressive.
00:42But how are you gonna get an eggplant inside somebody?
00:44Ugh, I've done it.
00:46-♪♪
00:47All right.
00:49It's a 12-pencil eggplant.
00:51It looks like a weapon from Mario Brothers or something.
00:54-♪♪
00:58Oh.
00:59You got it? I'll help you. Sorry.
01:01You got it? I started a little avalanche.
01:04What's he doing?
01:06He started, like, an avalanche.
01:08The whole thing fell.
01:10-♪♪
01:15The whole thing fell.
01:16You got it, yeah?
01:18They all fell.
01:19Oh, there you go.
01:21I got it. I got it.
01:23No, I'm sorry.
01:27It's an eggplant.
01:30Tequila, that's great.
01:31Oh, yeah.
01:33-♪♪
01:38Is that, like, an app that tells you, like, the price?
01:40Oh, no, no. We just shop for the customers.
01:43Somebody else delivers.
01:44So, you shop for somebody else?
01:46Yeah. That's really cool.
01:47This is ballsy.
01:48So, this is, like, an app that just does it?
01:50Oh!
01:51She didn't hear ball. She didn't hear ball.
01:54How does it work?
01:56Oh!
01:58Ha-ha! She blocked it!
02:00-♪♪
02:02You basically do a whole shopping cart.
02:05Oh!
02:08And what happens?
02:09So, you're basically shopping for people
02:10that don't want to come out in the cold?
02:11That's really cool.
02:12Like, you could just do it.
02:13That's so nice.
02:16And it's just, like, an app?
02:17It's like a regular app?
02:18You're getting cocky!
02:19You're getting cocky!
02:21It's really cool.
02:24Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
02:27All right, well, it was so nice.
02:28That's really cool.
02:30Yay!
02:31All right, Joe.
02:32You need one more to beat Murr.
02:33Oh!
02:34Oh!
02:35Oh!
02:36Oh!
02:37Oh!
02:38Oh!
02:39Oh!
02:40Oh!
02:41Oh!
02:42Oh!
02:43Oh!
02:44Oh!
02:45Oh!
02:46Oh!
02:47Oh!
02:48Oh!
02:49Oh!
02:50Oh!
02:51Oh!
02:52Oh!
02:54Oh!
02:55Oh!
02:56Wow!
02:57Here we go, Sal.
02:58You ready for this one?
02:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:00A fistful of noodles!
03:01That bottom noodle is gonna go.
03:02Can somebody...?
03:03Oh!
03:04Oh, you're dropping a trail of noodles.
03:05Why are you holding them like that?
03:06You're you're palming noodles.
03:07Ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:08Don't palm the...
03:09Oh!
03:10This is the best part of the whole challenge
03:11right now, this moment.
03:12You want to come down and do it?
03:13Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
03:14Oh!
03:15Oh!
03:16Oh!
03:17Oh!
03:18Oh!
03:19Oh!
03:20Oh!
03:21Oh!
03:22You want to do me a quick favor?
03:29I got to find my wife.
03:31Man, who the hell is that?
03:33I feel like it's like an udon noodle.
03:35Do me one favor,
03:36because I don't want to lose my place in line.
03:38Can you hold that for me one second?
03:40Oh, my God!
03:41I'll be right back.
03:42No!
03:43Unbelievable.
03:44I can't believe it.
03:45It's unbelievable what people will do.
03:46It'll just be one.
03:47I got her.
03:48She's coming right now.
03:49So, Sal already won.
03:50Let's have some fun.
03:51Let's send over our producer, Christine,
03:52just to answer the confusion.
03:53His wife, Christine.
03:54Go.
03:55Are those my husband's noodles?
03:56Excuse me.
03:57Are those my husband's noodles?
03:58Yeah.
03:59Oh.
04:00I'll take them.
04:01Are those your husband's?
04:02Babe.
04:03Oh, there you are.
04:05I was like, where'd you go?
04:06No, I know.
04:07I went to get more, but...
04:08Thank you so much, bud.
04:11You got it.
04:12Good work.
04:22You got it.
04:23Good win, buddy.
04:24Good win.
04:25All right, here we go.
04:26You ready, Woody?
04:27Tell this guy, I saw a woman get born today.
04:28It was fascinating.
04:29I, uh, I saw a woman get born today.
04:35It was fascinating.
04:36A woman give birth?
04:38No.
04:39No, no, no, no.
04:40Get born today.
04:43I'm guessing nine months ago, her parents had sex.
04:48So, that was my day so far.
04:50Yesterday, I pickled a toe.
04:52Yeah. Yesterday was even crazier.
04:54I pickled a human toe yesterday.
04:58Oh, fuck.
05:00Yeah, yeah.
05:02You mean it?
05:03Maybe.
05:07Maybe, maybe.
05:10Q, knock on his head.
05:14Knock, knock.
05:17Knock, knock.
05:19Keep doing it, keep doing it.
05:21Knock, knock.
05:22Who's there?
05:25You don't know knock-knock jokes?
05:26Oh, hi. How you doing?
05:28Knock on the head.
05:33That's how you make him lose.
05:39Look at this guy. Look at this guy.
05:41Joe, confuses this place with a hotel.
05:44Find out when the hell that maid's coming to clean your room.
05:47Just keep going up and down all the aisles randomly.
05:51I can't find a bellhop if my life depended on it.
05:53Is anyone gonna bring my luggage?
05:55I ordered a cheeseburger for my room service.
05:5745 minutes.
05:58The spa is supposed to be on 4.
06:00Where do I see a spa?
06:03You call that a pool?
06:05Supposed to dip my balls in it?
06:09Hands down the worst hotel experience I've ever had.
06:12I went down, I talked to the concierge.
06:14He didn't give a shit.
06:15I ordered room service an hour and 10 minutes ago.
06:17They said the spa was on 4.
06:19They said the sheets were Egyptian cotton.
06:25Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm on a TV show, yeah.
06:28Oh, no, no, we start next week.
06:29We start filming next week. I can't wait.
06:32Did your room service come?
06:35Yeah, I am.
06:37Oh, yes.
06:40Kiss her again, Joe.
06:42Just keep kissing her.
06:46This family's recognizing you.
06:48Go kiss them all.
06:50Joseph, what's your name?
06:52Debbie, good to see you.
06:53Yes, of course.
06:55You're like Richard Dawson.
06:57Can I have a picture, too?
06:58Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.
07:05If you want a selfie, take a selfie, buddy.
07:07Go ahead. Take it, yeah, go ahead.
07:08They keep...
07:11Why do you keep kissing me?
07:13They're telling you to keep kissing me? Is that it?
07:15No, we don't start filming until next week.
07:17What happened to your knee?
07:21Oh, Achilles.
07:23Achilles. Achilles is a tough one.
07:25Yeah, yeah.
07:27You look like the kind of guy that, um...
07:28Breathes through his mouth during a bath.
07:31That...
07:33That breathes through his mouth during a bath.
07:36What do you mean?
07:38You know, there are a type of people that,
07:41you know, when they take a bath, they just relax,
07:43they breathe through their nose and calm down.
07:45You look like, you know, a mouth breather when you bathe.
07:47Would you agree that you're that type of person?
07:49No.
07:50No.
07:53Oh, here. Here we go.
07:54Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir.
07:56You're the type of guy...
07:58Who has three nipples but only uses one.
08:00Look at him say it.
08:04This is totally in awe.
08:06Ma'am, you're the type of girl...
08:08Who has three nipples but only uses one.
08:13Ah!
08:16Sir, I got to tell you, you're the type of guy...
08:18Excuse me, excuse me!
08:20Who has three nipples but only uses one.
08:22Ah!
08:25Ah!
08:27Look at him look on his face!
08:28We have no idea!
08:30Come on, guys.
08:31All right, got one more shot, buddy.
08:33Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
08:36Ma'am, I got to tell you, you are the type of woman...
08:38Who has a regular amount of nipples.
08:41He walked out.
08:43Bye-bye!
08:45All right, boys, salves up.
08:49All right.
08:50We know no one's doing this right.
08:51You're a negative Nancy, bro.
08:54What person in their right mind is going to take a gallon of milk
08:57and throw it onto the floor because I...
08:58You've been saying this all day, bud.
08:59Somebody will smash milk.
09:02Let the audience look behind the curtain.
09:04This came across the desk, and I said,
09:06I don't think it's gonna work.
09:08Are we gonna be in the supermarket all day?
09:09You don't have a desk?
09:10Where were you sitting?
09:11Whose desk were you at?
09:14Hey, dear, how you doin'?
09:15Here we go.
09:16What is your name?
09:17Lucy.
09:18Let me ask you something, Lucy.
09:19Come here.
09:20She looks like Deadpool.
09:21She looks like Deadpool, like a little mini Deadpool.
09:27Lucy, see this?
09:28I want you to let out the bad boy
09:30that's inside that bad boy body of yours.
09:34I'm gonna give you the milk.
09:35I want you to throw it on the floor and break it.
09:37Let the bad boy out that's in that bad boy body of yours.
09:39You know what I'm talking about.
09:42This is gonna give me overtime.
09:43Okay, so, guess what?
09:45Let me make believe I'm buying it.
09:47Make believe you're buying it.
09:48Oh, my God. She's gonna do it?
09:49Okay, push this right here.
09:51No, because this is gonna make it more believable.
09:54Oh, believable. Oh, yeah.
09:55Oh, she's getting into character.
09:58Oh, thank you for holding it for me.
10:00You're welcome. Thank you. Thank you.
10:02Don't worry about it.
10:03Oh, my God!
10:06She's acting.
10:09Oh!
10:11Oh, my God!
10:13Oh, my God!
10:15I can't believe that anybody's gonna do it.
10:17I cannot believe it.
10:18Full take. First person.
10:20First person.
10:21One for one, baby.
10:22One for one.
10:23Wow!
10:24What?
10:26All right, Joseph.
10:27Joey got it on his last day of work.
10:31Ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:33What's the matter, buddy?
10:35You hurt?
10:36No.
10:37Yeah.
10:38Why?
10:39Ha, ha, ha, ha.
10:40Today, I think, is gonna be my last day here.
10:42I just want to let you know it's been a pleasure
10:43serving you these past 10 years.
10:45It's been a pleasure serving you for the past 10 years.
10:48It's... This store's not open 10 years.
10:50No, I mean, with the company.
10:51Oh!
10:52Ha, ha, ha, ha!
10:55Well, I had to quit.
10:56I mean, it's been...
10:57They're making me wear gloves now when I clean the toilets.
10:59They're trying to make me wear gloves
11:01when I clean the toilets.
11:02Oh.
11:03Hmm.
11:04It's not I want to wear gloves.
11:05I want to get in, like, at home.
11:06You know, you clean.
11:07You know how it is when you get in and clean, right?
11:08Yeah, at home.
11:09So, they said, they said,
11:10you either wear the gloves or you have to quit.
11:11And I said, I'm a man of principle.
11:13You're forcing my hand.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:17So, I should quit, right?
11:18I should quit.
11:19Well, I think it's for your health.
11:21My health?
11:22Well, if there's something in there
11:24and you touch your face or your mouth or something.
11:27That's why!
11:28Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:29I've had pink eye for seven years.
11:31Maybe that's why I have chronic pink eye.
11:33Yeah.
11:34Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:35So, I shouldn't quit?
11:36I don't think you should.
11:37Okay.
11:38Wow!
11:39You cannot get someone to agree.
11:40And make sure that you wash the fruit
11:41when you get home, honey.
11:42I will.
11:43Great.
11:44Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:45Ha, ha, ha, ha!
11:46Hey, sir, you need any help with anything?
11:49Yeah, I asked only because it's my last day.
11:51I'm quitting today.
11:52So, if you want any help with anything,
11:54I'm on my way out the door.
11:58Yeah, here's the thing.
11:59Let me ask you your opinion on it, actually,
12:01if you don't mind.
12:02Tobey Maguire shops here,
12:03and I don't want him to know what I do for work.
12:05Ha, ha, ha, ha!
12:06Tobey Maguire shops here.
12:08Oh, yeah?
12:09Yeah, and I don't want him to see where I work.
12:13Ha, ha, ha, ha!
12:14You know what I'm saying?
12:15I don't want Tobey Maguire of all people
12:17coming in here looking at me and being like,
12:19hey, I'm Spider-Man,
12:20and you're this dope in a suit working here.
12:23Can't get big-timed by Tobey.
12:24Every time I come to work, Tobey Maguire's big-timing me.
12:27I know he made millions of dollars off Spider-Man,
12:29but that gives him the right to come in here
12:31and look at me like I'm a bad guy.
12:33Like a lunatic.
12:34I'm not a villain.
12:35I don't inject myself with crazy goblin stuff
12:38to take over Times Square.
12:39He's gonna come here and judge me, right?
12:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
12:45What do you think? Should I quit?
12:47I don't know if you should quit, but just relax.
12:49Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
12:51I think I'm getting worked up. Should I quit?
12:53I should quit?
12:54Yes!
12:55Thank you. Thank you very much.
12:56No!
12:57Ha, ha, ha, ha!
12:59I should quit.
13:00Good job.
13:01Wow, that was tough.
13:03So, here we have kindler, gentler Sal and Murray.
13:06Yes, that's right.
13:07Their relationship's somewhat improved this season.
13:09Our relationship has thawed a little bit.
13:11It's not as... Thawed?
13:12Yeah, it's not as... Thawed.
13:13...frozen cold as it once was.
13:16Have you ever borrowed a traveler?
13:17Never.
13:18Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
13:20Some things never change.
13:22Yes, we'd like to try it.
13:23Oh, we have so many different things from local places.
13:25Well, come on around.
13:26All right, here we go.
13:27The samples I give you are going to be
13:28the best ones you ever have.
13:29I promise you.
13:30Okay, I'm going to start you off with a fresh mozzarella
13:32dipped in a little olive oil.
13:34Delicious.
13:35All right, Murray, it's on you, buddy.
13:37This is a sharp cheddar, locally made, delicious.
13:40Farm in Jersey.
13:43Don't fill up on that, though.
13:44One bite, just so you can taste it,
13:45because I want you to taste the difference
13:47between that cheese and this cheese.
13:48So, just one bite each.
13:49Ha, ha, ha, ha!
13:51Oh, it's back to Murray.
13:53This one's better.
13:54It is, right?
13:55That's better.
13:56Okay, if you like that one, you are going to love...
13:58This is a white cheddar.
13:59Try that.
14:00Again, made locally.
14:01Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:03Delicious.
14:04This is Spanish olive with a little blue cheese stuffing.
14:06If you've never tried it, I would like you to try it, too.
14:09Sal, nice!
14:11Merza!
14:12I like the olive with the blue cheese.
14:14Yeah.
14:15Speaking of which, I happen to have one more.
14:20Ah!
14:21Come on, just shop it.
14:22There you go.
14:23Come on.
14:24You don't need that.
14:25There you go.
14:26Now we're even, even, even.
14:27Don't feel forced.
14:28Don't feel forced.
14:29No, no, no.
14:30Um, where do I get the olive with the blue cheese?
14:32Up your ass and to the left.
14:33It's up your ass and to the left!
14:35It's...
14:36It's up your ass and to the left.
14:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:41It says straight up your ass to the left.
14:43Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:45Hold on.
14:46We call that olive.
14:47Okay, got it.
14:49Ha, ha, ha, ha!
14:50Let's get back to work.
14:51We don't want to keep you if you have to get going.
14:53Nice try, Murr.
14:54These are vegetable chips,
14:55and they're made with pure peanut oil?
14:57Oh, my God!
14:58She's in for a veggie chip!
15:00Oh, yeah, yeah.
15:01You don't have to try that one.
15:02You don't even.
15:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:06This is unbelievable.
15:07The only thing better than that is chocolate-covered pretzels!
15:11This is delicious.
15:13You don't want this?
15:14Oh!
15:15You're in this deep.
15:16You might as well just try it.
15:17No, seriously, I don't want that.
15:19Oh!
15:20Oh!
15:21You're out!
15:22They draw the line at the chocolate pretzel.
15:24They ate 47 items.
15:25Ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:27Wow!
15:28Coming up behind you.
15:30I had to get something besides the toilet paper.
15:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:34I had the toilet paper for this evening
15:36to get me through to 7 a.m.
15:37I live alone.
15:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:41Because it's Mexican night.
15:42Mia's themed nights for himself.
15:44Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:47What else did I need?
15:48I got toilet paper.
15:49What else did I need?
15:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:54Uh-oh.
15:55Here we go, ready?
15:56Joe's got the advantage.
15:57Oh!
15:58Here you go.
15:59They're free.
16:00There you go!
16:01There's two.
16:02Oh!
16:03Oh!
16:04Jerry's up 2-1.
16:05That's the end of Joe.
16:06Oh!
16:072-2!
16:083-2!
16:093-3!
16:104-3!
16:11Nice and easy.
16:12Oh!
16:135-3!
16:14Oh!
16:15Move it!
16:166-4!
16:176-5!
16:18Oh, come on!
16:196-5!
16:20I'm draining them!
16:21Yeah!
16:22I can't!
16:23I can't carry them!
16:24Well, move your s*** then!
16:25Move it!
16:26Oh, this is super easy now.
16:27Amazing.
16:28Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
16:29Trying to knock the wig off him.
16:30Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
16:31Oh, that was just...
16:32That was a...
16:33That was a...
16:34That was a drubbing.
16:35Yes!
16:36You got beat by the hair.
16:37You got to pay for all that now.
16:38You got to pay for all those.
16:39Don't try to get out of here for free with them.
16:40Well, you should have moved it closer.
16:41Oh!
16:42Oh!
16:43Oh!
16:44Oh!
16:45Oh!
16:46Oh!
16:47Oh!
16:48Well, you should have moved it closer.
16:49If I won, you could have kept them.
16:50Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
16:52I don't even work here.
16:53I'm just shooting in strangers' carts.
16:55You pay for those toilet paper!
16:59Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:01Q.
17:02Yeah, you look good.
17:04You look ready.
17:06You got tape?
17:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:09Nailed it, Murr.
17:10Excuse me.
17:12I've been kind of out of touch for, like, about seven years, now.
17:16I haven't really been out and about.
17:17I've kind of been locked away.
17:20Weird way to start a conversation with a stranger.
17:22So, my question is, string cheese...
17:24-♪
17:26...is that really a thing?
17:28I come out, and they're telling me
17:30that Jell-O now has a lemon meringue pie.
17:33I just feel like, what have I missed in the past five years?
17:35Like, I'm trying to get, like, a...
17:37Why would you try to wrap the whole cart?
17:39A general consensus about what I missed in the last five years.
17:41Oh!
17:43I mean, they're up to an iPhone 9 now?
17:47Yeah, it doesn't move fast enough,
17:48if you know what I mean.
17:50I mean, I have no basis of comparison
17:52because I have not wrapped anything yet,
17:53but it feels like Murray's terrible.
17:55These are lime-flavored?
17:58And what's going on here now?
18:00Extra creamy?
18:03I mean, I'm blown away by the world today.
18:05I got a lot of questions about it.
18:06There you go!
18:08Hey, happy holidays, bro.
18:10A whole cart.
18:11I was getting close.
18:12Getting close?
18:13I was talking to the poor guy for 10 minutes.
18:16Murray should try to be a little bit more successful
18:18and enjoyable to watch.
18:23Hi. Are you shopping for fruit and shit?
18:26Yeah. Okay, great.
18:28So, we're doing a thing today where I follow people
18:31around who are shopping produce,
18:32and we'll give them 10% off their entire purchase.
18:34It's non-invasive.
18:35It's a non-invasive procedure.
18:37Well, I wouldn't let you.
18:39Yeah, you wouldn't let me.
18:41Okay, and what was your name?
18:42Ria. Ria, I'm Joe.
18:43Nice to see you. I'm not weird, okay?
18:45I'm not weird, okay?
18:47I'm looking for organic fruit.
18:54You're looking for organic fruits, okay,
18:55so that's important to you.
18:57So, Ria, have you ever gone over to the Galleria?
18:59Have you ever gone down to the Galleria down the road?
19:02No. Oh, they have a great pizzeria there.
19:04Great pizzeria there. And they also have...
19:05And they also have... A salamaria.
19:07...a salamaria where you get sandwiches.
19:09You can eat it all in the cafeteria.
19:11You can eat it all in the cafeteria.
19:12Joe, take the watermelon from her.
19:16Try to break it over your knee just to see if it was ripe.
19:19This watermelon? Okay.
19:20Can I talk to you about your selection real quick?
19:23He's gonna break his knee.
19:25Yeah, this one doesn't.
19:26No, this one doesn't. Yeah.
19:27This isn't. There we go.
19:28See, now that one...
19:29Oh, he cracked it open.
19:31Now, if you look, this one's no good.
19:33Start scooping it out with your hand
19:35and just put it in your mouth.
19:37Really? Yeah, you know what? You can see the inside there.
19:40I was way off. This watermelon is from God.
19:44This is outrageous, this thing.
19:47This is, like, straight from God, this thing.
19:49I'm not weird, okay?
19:51And I'm not weird, okay?
20:00Here's our ballers.
20:03Stretch it out.
20:05Who's your money on? My money's on Joe.
20:07Joe? Yeah.
20:08No, look.
20:11He got it in.
20:12Whoa!
20:13This is my game, boys.
20:18You suck.
20:19Here we go.
20:20And... He's in the field.
20:22He's in the field. He's in play.
20:24One.
20:26Oh, there we go.
20:28Two. Oh, there goes Joe.
20:30Oh!
20:31Ow!
20:34Oh!
20:36Oh!
20:38Joe's in. Sal answers.
20:40Joe returns it.
20:45Sal!
20:46You got blocked.
20:47Joe's just dropping them in.
20:49Sal, you can't keep up.
20:52Last shot, Sal. Last shot, Sal.
20:54There you go. Right that way.
20:56Oh!
20:59So, Q's lunch got delivered before he took the floor.
21:01He decided to take the floor with a burrito.
21:03You don't want to skip a meal, Q.
21:04Do you know anything about grapes?
21:08Not a whole lot.
21:10Between you and I, I'd take one and taste it.
21:13If it tastes good, then I'd buy it.
21:14Can you do that?
21:16I'm already in trouble here
21:17because the security guard here hates my guts.
21:18There you go. Nice.
21:20Because he's always pissed that I'm eating burritos
21:21in the store.
21:22What is your name? I'm sorry.
21:24Brian. I got it. Brian Quinn.
21:26Very nice to meet you. If you see the security guard,
21:28could you do me a favor?
21:29Just, just, yeah, cover me.
21:31Just scream out, uh...
21:32I'm not saying she's a gold digger.
21:34Just scream out, like, a code.
21:36Like, I'm not saying she's a gold digger.
21:37When I hear that, I'll load a run.
21:39All right?
21:40Okay, great. Thank you. Thank you.
21:41He might get this.
21:43Okay, send in the security guard.
21:46Here comes Terry.
21:48How you doing, sir? Everything's okay over here?
21:49Uh, yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
21:52Are you good? Everything's okay?
21:54I'm just trying to get a small quantity of grapes.
21:56Oh!
21:58Didn't even blink. Didn't care that he was security.
22:00Didn't say anything. Didn't look at him.
22:02Those were good. Those were good.
22:04He just wants to eat it. He's talking to me.
22:07What's that?
22:09I don't understand. You have to say the code word.
22:11Oh, what's the code word?
22:13Hey, I told you about eating that shit here.
22:15Oh, come here.
22:16I'm gonna smack that goddamn burrito out your face.
22:17What's the code word? Come here.
22:19The gold digger line.
22:20I'm gonna smack that burrito out your face.
22:21I'm not saying she's a gold digger.
22:24He's just watching.
22:25The guy literally just watched the whole thing in silence
22:28as he sampled grapes.
22:30That's it. You lost.
22:32I said in English. He was just here talking to me.
22:35Ah!
22:37How old are you?
22:39I'm 43.
22:40How old do you think I am?
22:41I would say 57.
22:44You're only off by 20 years. I'm 77.
22:47Get out of here! No!
22:50Get to YouTube. I'll show you me on YouTube.
22:52Really? You on YouTube?
22:54I used to be a superhuman athlete.
22:56A superhuman athlete?
22:58New York High Bar Club Gymnastics.
23:01There he is!
23:02Whoa!
23:06I'm going in.
23:08I was an Olympic hopeful in gymnastics.
23:11Got three consecutive national championships.
23:13Dave Jacobs.
23:15Holy cow, man. Can I shake your hand?
23:17Certainly. Superhuman athlete.
23:19Oh, my God. I've seen you on YouTube.
23:20Holy shit.
23:22Are you kidding me? Is this a put-on?
23:23No, it's not. I don't know who he is.
23:25No, I saw you at the New York...
23:26I just played it to him.
23:28No, come on. Stop pulling my leg.
23:30I'll be right back.
23:32I have never met anyone that soared on their own.
23:35That's amazing. What happened was...
23:36Yeah.
23:37Did he let you eat that in here?
23:39No, he was my lookout guy.
23:41We had a miscommunication.
23:43I ended up running all over the place.
23:44Yeah. Are you kidding me?
23:46Are you Dave Jacobs?
23:48What's going on today?
23:49Are you kidding me right now?
23:50I'll be back. I'm back.
23:52He said he didn't know him. He's holding him up.
23:54You don't know Dave Jacobs?
23:55I feel like an idiot now.
23:57I can't believe...
23:58This is a put-on.
23:59I swear it's him. Mr. Jacobs.
24:01Guys, Dave Jacobs.
24:02In the flesh.
24:03This is him. He's got the full account.
24:04Would you mind if I take a selfie with you, Dave?
24:06Oh, my God. Can we?
24:07You guys want to get in here? I'll send it to everybody.
24:08Okay, take a step back.
24:10There we go.
24:11Come on, watch this. It's the same birthday.
24:13All right, say, Dave Jacobs.
24:15Two, three. Dave Jacobs.
24:19Find anything you need to do today?
24:21Yeah.
24:22Murr, your hat's crooked.
24:23Oh, jeez.
24:30Your hat's crooked.
24:31Your hat's crooked.
24:32Yeah, I just...
24:33I just twisted my face.
24:36This hat's crooked.
24:37All right, just help me out.
24:38There you go. Looks good.
24:39Now you look like a gentleman.
24:44Good. How are you?
24:45Credit or debit?
24:46Get turned on when she swipes it.
24:50Yeah.
24:53Could you swipe it one more time?
24:54Swipe it again, please.
24:55Swipe it again, please.
25:00One more time, one more time.
25:02Yes, you have to swipe it one more time.
25:04Swipe it one more time.
25:05Just swipe it for her.
25:06Yeah, like so.
25:07Oh.
25:10This is great.
25:11Enter. Okay, yes, enter.
25:12Hit enter.
25:13I'll give you five bucks to swipe it one more time.
25:16I'll, uh...
25:17I'll give you five bucks to swipe it one more time.
25:20Oh, that's it. Thank you.
25:22And we got a cigarette line, too.
25:30All right, what else?
25:31Cocoa Krispies.
25:32All right, rip them open, pour them into your mouth.
25:34Oh, come on.
25:38Just turn the box over so they just pour over your face.
25:42Good?
25:44Yeah, good.
25:45Now pour some milk in it.
25:46What's cereal without milk, buddy?
25:56He's got to wash it down.
25:59Joe's just bagging, Joe.
26:01Joe starts scooping up the individual ones.
26:03Joe's just bagging.
26:04Joe's just bagging.
26:05Joe's just bagging.
26:06Joe's just bagging.
26:07Joe's just bagging.
26:08Joe's just bagging.
26:09Joe starts scooping up the individual grains.
26:15Just give me a minute.
26:17I can know that only you beg.
26:19I beg.
26:20You don't see me come over there, push your buttons.
26:22I beg. This is all I got.
26:25I appreciate your patience.
26:27And did you want the receipt in the bag?
26:29I know.
26:30It's in the bag.
26:31I beg.
26:35Watch this, watch this.
26:36Here we go.
26:37Ready, guys?
26:38Wow.
26:39The godfather of soul right in our aisle.
26:41No.
26:42No way.
26:43Wow.
26:46You are a lovely lady.
26:50Damn it.
26:51We got through so much.
26:58Dude.
26:59Do you have any stuff?
27:00Do you have any salad?
27:01My, my, uh...
27:03My buddy's down that aisle.
27:04See the guy in the pink shirt?
27:05He has no idea I'm here in the store.
27:07He has no clue.
27:08Can you shout his nickname down the aisle?
27:10One Ball Barry.
27:11You got to shout.
27:12His nickname is One Ball Barry.
27:16Just call him out.
27:17Hey, One Ball Barry.
27:19Hey, One Ball Barry.
27:23He didn't even hear his name called.
27:25Thanks, buddy.
27:26I appreciate it.
27:27Oh, my God, guys, you're killing me.
27:28I mean, the guy walked away.
27:30Now he's going.
27:31Hey!
27:32Barry!
27:34They're acting for no one.
27:36Why do you say that?
27:38I mean, I could call you Billion Ball, you know.
27:41I don't do it, you know.
27:43He's gone rogue!
27:44I'm sorry I called you that nickname.
27:45Here's the thing.
27:46Yeah.
27:47It's No Ball Barry.
27:48No Ball Barry.
27:58The vlog has left.
27:59One Ball Barry does not have a grasp on what this show is.
28:03See ya.
28:06Why are you even still standing there, Murray?
28:08The bet's over.
28:13All right, Joey.
28:16Yeah, I should pay for that for you.
28:18Yeah.
28:19Really?
28:20Yeah, I should.
28:21Why?
28:22Because I want to show you I could be a good provider.
28:24Because I want to show you that I could be a good provider.
28:29That would be real good, right?
28:30Okay, thank you very much.
28:31Good?
28:33We'll provide it.
28:35All right.
28:36Fair enough, fair enough.
28:37Here we go.
28:38All right, the lady behind you.
28:39Lady behind you.
28:40You know, is this yours?
28:41I should get this for you.
28:42I'll just get it for you.
28:43No.
28:44No, I should get it for you.
28:45Yeah.
28:46No, it's okay.
28:47No, sure.
28:48I should.
28:49Why?
28:50Why?
28:51I'm flush with cash on account of my grandpa's murder.
28:52You know, I'm...
28:54Yeah, I'm flush with...
28:55I'm flush with cash on account of my grandpa's murder.
29:02So, I mean, I'm doing the right thing.
29:04Somebody killed the old coot, real.
29:06Yeah, yeah, somebody killed the old coot.
29:07It's fine.
29:09No further questions.
29:10We're all set?
29:11Yeah.
29:12Great.
29:14I don't want to say it's you guys,
29:16but I'm at 100% after all that pastry.
29:21Oh, my God.
29:22This is shrimp.
29:24You see this?
29:26Shrimp in a store?
29:27Yeah, this is crazy.
29:28They got a whole cooler of shrimp.
29:30It's excellent.
29:31Murr, you're not buying shrimp.
29:32The crazy thing is,
29:33I'm actually not supposed to be shopping here anymore.
29:35Why?
29:36My ex-girlfriend dates the security guard that's here.
29:39Oh.
29:40Oh, all right.
29:41That's a good reason to stay away from him.
29:42And whenever I come shopping here,
29:43he threatened me a couple of times
29:44because, you know, he's dating my bae now,
29:46and she's my ex-bae,
29:47and I don't want to get caught with it.
29:49If you see the security guy coming around...
29:51I'll block his path.
29:52No, you've got to signal me
29:53so I know not to come out of that aisle.
29:54All right.
29:55Yell something out.
29:56I'll say cops.
29:57She's going out on her own.
29:58No, so you'll, like, um...
29:59Mama got a donkey.
30:00Mama got a donkey,
30:01or something like that.
30:02But I'm not hanging out here.
30:03No, I know.
30:04Just for a minute.
30:05I'm going to run down and get some detergent.
30:06I'll be right back.
30:07Murr, stop getting shrimp and just go.
30:08Yeah, go.
30:09Thank you so much.
30:10I'm going to get the detergent, guys.
30:11Okay, yell it a few times so I hear it
30:12in case he comes out.
30:13Okay.
30:15All right, here comes security.
30:19But the problem is,
30:20she's face-first in that self-serve shrimp.
30:22Hi.
30:23Oh, here she goes.
30:24Oh, yeah.
30:26Mama's got a donkey.
30:27Mama's got a donkey.
30:28She's got a donkey.
30:35What the ****?
30:37What?
30:39Mama got a donkey.
30:40Mama got a donkey.
30:41Mama got a donkey.
30:42What are people doing with their life?
30:45I'm robbing a bank with that lady.
30:51What kind of shrimp survive?
30:53The shrimp, I'm on the fence
30:54with what kind of shrimp.
30:55I'm trying to get through quick.
30:56I'm trying to figure out which one's the best for a frotty abla.
30:58They do a good sale here.
31:01You know, I got to be careful, huh?
31:05Got to be careful around here, he says, with no preamble.
31:10Careful of what?
31:11The security guard here, I married his ex-girlfriend.
31:14So he doesn't like seeing me around here.
31:16But the deals here are great.
31:17If you see the security guard, do me a favor.
31:19Could you just yell?
31:20Fat-nosed Frankie!
31:21Yell, Fat-nosed Frankie, so I know he's coming, and I'll run.
31:24If you see him, the security guard,
31:25blue security jacket, Fat-nosed Frankie.
31:27My name's Joe.
31:28So, Fat-nosed Frankie.
31:30All right, I'll see you in a minute.
31:31Send in a quick.
31:34Quick, quick, quick.
31:35Go get her, go get her.
31:36There he goes.
31:37Oh, my God.
31:38Uh-oh.
31:39Here we go.
31:40Oh!
31:41Oh, God!
31:42Oh.
31:43She's coming your way.
31:44She's coming your way.
31:45Oh, she's back.
31:46She's back.
31:47You didn't see him?
31:48You're joking me.
31:49No, no, I didn't see him.
31:51Black guy in a jacket with security on.
31:54Fat-nosed Frankie, make sure you yell aloud.
31:57There he is, there he is.
31:58Thank you, babe.
31:59Oh, Fat-nosed Frankie!
32:00Hey, hey, hey!
32:01Oh!
32:02Oh!
32:03Oh!
32:04Oh!
32:05Oh!
32:06Oh!
32:07Oh!
32:08Put me in the headlock, put me in the headlock.
32:09She said Fat-nosed.
32:10I told her she doesn't want to marry you.
32:12I told you.
32:13She doesn't want to marry you.
32:14She's mine.
32:15Well, then Frankie's on sale!
32:16Oh!
32:17Oh!
32:18Oh!
32:19Oh!
32:20Oh!
32:21Oh!
32:22Oh!
32:23Oh!
32:24Oh!
32:25Oh!
32:26Oh!
32:27Oh!
32:28Oh!
32:29Oh!
32:30Oh!
32:31Oh!
32:32Oh!
32:33Oh!
32:34Oh!
32:35Oh!
32:36Oh!
32:37Oh!
32:38Oh!
32:39Oh!
32:40Oh!
32:41Oh!
32:42Oh!
32:43Oh!
32:44Oh!
32:45Oh!
32:46Oh!
32:47Oh!
32:48Oh!
32:49Oh!
32:50Oh!
32:51Oh!
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