- 5/21/2025
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00:31Welcome, welcome, welcome to Last Week Tonight.
00:35I'm John Oliver. Thank you so much for joining us.
00:37It has been a busy week.
00:38Xi Jinping met with Vladimir Putin,
00:41Trump named the world's meanest drunk aunt
00:43as interim U.S. Attorney for D.C.,
00:45and, of course, this happened.
00:48From the Vatican, a wholly unexpected announcement.
00:51The Pope, an American Pope,
00:54Pope Leo XIV from Chicago.
00:57The best headline came from his hometown of Chicago,
01:00in true Chicago style.
01:01Duh, Pope.
01:03Yeah, we got a Chicago Pope.
01:05Cardinal Robert Pravost is now Pope Leo XIV,
01:09and Chicagoans spent the week excitedly speculating
01:12about the little Chicago touches
01:14he's gonna bring to the papacy,
01:15from the body of Christ being a Portillo's gravy bread
01:18to the official stance of the church
01:20claiming no ketchup on hot dogs,
01:22but if the kids want it, that's all right,
01:24to the hundreds of jokes about malort
01:27being the new sacramental wine at communion.
01:29And if you're not from Chicago and you're thinking,
01:31what is malort? Just know, it's not so much a drink
01:35as it is a city-wide hazing ritual.
01:37It's a liquor with the taste, smell, and general vibe
01:40of something a Batman villain would spike the water supply with,
01:44and, incredibly, the odds are Pope Bob here
01:47has actually tried it.
01:49Now, we're gonna focus on the president's ongoing trade war.
01:52Last week, Trump got a lot of attention
01:53when he seemed to try and prepare Americans
01:55for economic pain by saying this.
01:58Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls,
02:01you know? And maybe the two dolls will cost
02:04a couple of bucks more than they would normally.
02:06What a very weird thing to say.
02:09And it's just another snapshot in the chaos album
02:12that is Trump having anything to do with children,
02:15because you can now put kids will have two dolls
02:18instead of 30, right up there with the Lawn Boy Scream.
02:21And that time he asked a kid if she believed in Santa Claus
02:24because, quote, at seven, it's marginal, right?
02:27And when pressed on his comments a few days later,
02:30Trump doubled down.
02:32You said, quote, I'm gonna quote what you said,
02:34maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls.
02:38And maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more
02:40than they would normally.
02:42I don't think a beautiful baby girl needs,
02:45if it's 11 years old, needs to have 30 dolls.
02:49I think they can have three dolls or four dolls.
02:52Okay, there is so much there.
02:56A beautiful baby girl that's 11 years old?
03:00Don't call an 11-year-old that.
03:02First, it's creepy, and second, I promise,
03:04you call an 11-year-old girl a baby,
03:06she'll fucking kill you.
03:08But also, to think the prime age for playing with dolls is 11
03:13is almost impressively wrong.
03:15Everyone knows the breakdown of what people play with by age
03:18goes blocks from ages one to three,
03:20dolls from ages three to seven,
03:21and our phones from ages eight until we die.
03:24And incredibly, on Air Force One, he tripled down.
03:29All I'm saying is that you don't...
03:31That a young lady, a 10-year-old girl,
03:35a nine-year-old girl, a 15-year-old girl,
03:38doesn't need 37 dolls.
03:41She could be very happy with two or three or four or five.
03:44Every single way this man refers to girls
03:47makes my skin want to turn inside out.
03:50That said, I did also want to see him keep going there
03:54just to see how many variations of ages and numbers
03:57he could cycle through.
03:59All I'm saying is a young lady, 10-year-old girl,
04:01nine-year-old girl, 15-year-old girl,
04:0345-year-old girl that's still young at heart,
04:05doesn't need 37 dolls.
04:07She could be very happy with two or three or four or six or eight,
04:10but also nine, and in its own way, ten.
04:12Ten dolls she could be happy with, couldn't she?
04:15Or maybe 11. We can't rule out 11 dolls.
04:17Or 12. Twelve's a good number, isn't it, folks?
04:20Twelve apostles, twelve days of Christmas,
04:22twelve angry men. Henry Fond, a great guy, right?
04:24The other men, very angry. Very angry men.
04:26That's who we've got to get out of this country
04:28that's coming over illegally. Or you know what?
04:29Thirteen dolls, that's my final offer.
04:32So now it appears he thinks that 15-year-old girls
04:36are playing with dolls.
04:37Has he ever met a 15-year-old girl?
04:40That's a dumb question. Of course he has.
04:42He was friends with Jeffrey Epstein.
04:43But the thing is, Trump's actually right.
04:46The toys are about to get more expensive.
04:48Mattel, the maker of Barbie, has already said
04:50that it plans to raise prices on American toys due to tariffs.
04:54And when Trump was asked about Mattel's CEO claiming
04:57toy manufacturing won't come to America,
04:59but price hikes will, he had a pretty odd response.
05:03If Mattel, I don't know, I'm not so sure,
05:06they also said, they're the only country I've heard,
05:09they said, well, we're going to go counter.
05:10We're going to try going someplace else.
05:12That's okay. Let him go and we'll put 100% tariff
05:15on his toys, and he won't sell one toy in the United States.
05:19And that's their biggest market.
05:20Okay. Set aside, within the space of a single human sentence,
05:26Mattel switched from being a company to a country to a guy.
05:29It seems Trump's about to go to war with them.
05:32So you know what this means, kids.
05:34Sticks are about to make a comeback.
05:36The stick. Throw it, catch it, set it on fire.
05:39Just look at it.
05:41The stick's the only toy you'll ever need,
05:43which is lucky because it's also the only one you'll ever have.
05:46And look, on some level, it makes sense
05:49that Trump is framing this around dolls.
05:51Things that he can pretend are frivolous.
05:53But the fact is, exports to the U.S.
05:55have already begun to slow, and that'll soon be felt
05:58in the form of higher prices on lots of things.
06:01So if you're wondering, is Trump's stupid trade war
06:04about to hurt a lot of people?
06:05Well, is the Pope Catholic, and now also some guy
06:08named Bob from Chicago?
06:11The answer is obviously, yes.
06:13And now, this.
06:15And now, Brian Kilmeade played with dolls, and that's okay.
06:20It's a crew neck. It's like a crew neck for guys.
06:24I had one of my G.I. Joe. You snap it around his neck,
06:27it's what it was, a little red thing.
06:28Like a mascot.
06:29For a while, it was like,
06:30why is Brian playing with dolls?
06:32It's a G.I. Joe, it's different.
06:33My dad was a little uncomfortable with me playing
06:35with these called dolls.
06:36And I'm like, listen, they're men.
06:38I love anything G.I. Joe.
06:39Here we go.
06:40Kung Fu Grip, Eagle Eye, it all works.
06:42I remember playing with the G.I. Joe's.
06:44Both Eagle Eye and the Kung Fu Grip.
06:46The only adult toy that you need is Eagle Eye G.I. Joe.
06:49Ken was confusing for my generation.
06:51Ken was confusing?
06:53Yeah, it was confusing. We didn't know,
06:54should we play with Ken?
06:55Should we put him with the G.I. Joe's?
06:56I tried to get Ken into the G.I. Joe collection as a kid,
06:59but that's another story.
07:00You had a G.I. Joe, but you wanted a Ken?
07:01You had a Ken Barbie.
07:03Well, I convinced my parents to get it for me,
07:05because I thought I could make a man out of it.
07:06I remember getting, borrowing Ken,
07:08and putting it with my G.I. Joe's,
07:10who's the best move ever.
07:11Ken has never been happier.
07:12But a lot of people in the previous generation
07:14goes, he's playing with dolls.
07:15I'm like, no, these are, this is G.I. Joe.
07:17Poseable action figure.
07:18Exactly.
07:19It's got real hair.
07:20Poseable.
07:21Eagle Eyes, Kung Fu Grip,
07:23everything you needed.
07:25It was He-Man, too, remember?
07:26Nope.
07:27Moving on.
07:29Our main story tonight concerns politics and religion.
07:32The two top answers to the family feud question,
07:35name a reason why you don't talk to your dad anymore.
07:37Number one, politics.
07:39Number two, religion.
07:41Number three, we talk, but do we really talk, you know?
07:45I know that to put it mildly,
07:46there has been a lot going on recently.
07:49So it's understandable if you missed it,
07:50but last week, a major case concerning politics
07:53and religion was argued before the Supreme Court.
07:56The Supreme Court just heard arguments
07:57in a potentially landmark case that could open the door
08:00to publicly funded religious charter schools
08:02At the center, St. Isidore of Seville,
08:05a proposed Catholic virtual charter school in Oklahoma
08:08planned and operated by the local archdiocese.
08:11The school wants to teach Catholic doctrine
08:13while receiving state money,
08:14something never before allowed in the charter system.
08:17Yeah, an online school, St. Isidore,
08:19is fighting for the right to operate
08:20as the first religious charter school in the country,
08:23which is striking for a number of reasons,
08:24not least that this is how I'm learning
08:26that St. Isidore is often referred to
08:28as the patron saint of the internet.
08:30It just feels wrong.
08:31I thought patron saints only represented timeless things
08:35like the arts or orphans,
08:37not the medium that is now mostly AI slot videos
08:40of countries as president's twins.
08:42I don't know exactly what saints should be watching over,
08:46but that feels like a real waste of their time.
08:50The school refers to itself as a ministry
08:52of the Catholic Church, and many worry
08:54that if it's allowed to directly receive public funding,
08:56it'll be yet another step on the slippery slope
08:58of breaking down the establishment clause,
09:00and separating church and state.
09:02Now, the Supreme Court isn't likely to rule on this
09:04until next month, but I actually want to talk
09:06less about this school in particular,
09:08and more about the key group behind this case,
09:10the Alliance Defending Freedom, or ADF.
09:13Even if you don't recognize their name,
09:15you'll definitely be aware of their work,
09:17because ADF bills itself as the world's largest
09:19legal organization, advancing every person's
09:21God-given right to live and speak the truth.
09:24And in this promotional video celebrating
09:26their 25th anniversary, they lean in hard
09:28on the idea that they are defenders of rights
09:30and freedom.
09:31For 25 years, we've pursued this calling.
09:35A commission to stand, to defend, to persevere,
09:42to be a voice for faith, for freedom.
09:47Former Atlanta fire chief, Kelvin Cochran,
09:49wins a victory for his faith.
09:50The US Supreme Court today, in one of the most
09:52closely watched cases of the term,
09:54sided with a Colorado-
09:56Jack, this has been a long road for you,
09:57it started back in 2012, yesterday, you-
10:00Religious freedom is a pre-political right
10:02that rests securely in our dignity as human beings.
10:05It belongs to all of us.
10:08Okay.
10:09Although, I do have a bit of an issue with the sentence,
10:12religious freedom is a pre-political right
10:14that rests securely in our dignity as human beings,
10:17because I've listened to that upwards of 50 times,
10:20and I still have no idea what the fuck
10:22she's talking about there.
10:23It's the legal equivalent of the actual headline,
10:25Disney to merge Hulu Live TV with Fubo,
10:29settling Venu Lawson.
10:31All the words feel like they're in the correct places,
10:34but now, I can't even understand the ones
10:36that I thought I knew.
10:38The woman who said that, Kristen Wagoner,
10:40is ADF's current head, and if you're thinking
10:42that she looks like someone who'd have an office
10:43filled with Mickey and Minnie Mouse memorabilia,
10:45you'd be dead wrong, because she used to have
10:48an office filled with Mickey and Minnie Mouse memorabilia,
10:50but got rid of it after Disney's recent defense
10:52of LGBT rights ruined the beauty.
10:55So, I bet you feel pretty stupid right now.
10:58But as you've probably already guessed,
11:01the freedom ADF fights for is selective at best,
11:05as among other things, they've argued for
11:06the Christian baker who refused to make a cake
11:09for a same-sex couple in Colorado,
11:10orchestrated the attack on the abortion drug
11:12Mifepristone, heard by the Supreme Court last year,
11:14and were also behind the Dobbs case,
11:16which famously overturned Roe v. Wade.
11:19And when asked about that last one,
11:20they'll take credit for it, but notably,
11:23only to a point.
11:25So, what was ADF's role in this Dobbs case?
11:28So, we worked very closely with Mississippi
11:30from the very beginning, including we had a hand
11:34in crafting the legislation of the 15-week bill,
11:36coordinating, advising them during the pendency
11:39of the litigation, and then at the Supreme Court,
11:42we have been, you know, alongside them all the way,
11:45offering just as much help as we possibly can.
11:47Would you consider yourselves co-counsel in this case?
11:50So, Denise has already said as much as she can possibly say
11:53Okay.
11:55Okay, but just to clarify, did you all write the arguments
11:59at the center of this case?
12:00So, again, we really can't give us anything
12:03of how you are involved in the past,
12:06but Denise has already addressed.
12:07Okay. Okay.
12:09So, here is a quick PR rule of thumb.
12:11Stopping your client from answering a question
12:14is a great way of making them seem like the guiltiest
12:16motherfucker on the planet.
12:19Because a spokesperson doesn't generally chime in like that
12:21if the answer to a question is no.
12:23If someone asked me, were you the one
12:25that suggested the honeycomb cereal monster
12:28looked like a clump of pubes fucked Gary Busey?
12:30And a publicist jumped in to say,
12:33we can't address John's involvement in that,
12:35you'd be pretty confident that I was the brains
12:37behind that bush.
12:38But while they might not have wanted to be seen
12:42as pulling the strings there, the fact is,
12:45ADF's been incredibly successful,
12:47as since 2011, they've directly represented parties
12:50in 15 victories at the Supreme Court
12:52and claimed that since their founding,
12:53they've played roles in 77 victories,
12:56from weakening the contraception mandate
12:57in the Affordable Care Act, to throwing out a law
13:00that provided a protest buffer around abortion clinics.
13:02So they are way more powerful than many are aware.
13:06And they're using that power for, I'll say it, bad!
13:09According to a 2021 internal strategy document,
13:12their goals included stopping efforts
13:14to elevate sexual orientation and gender identity
13:16to protected class status in the law akin to race,
13:20and working to restore an understanding of marriage,
13:22the family, and sexuality that reflects God's creative order.
13:26And just to be clear, God has no creative order,
13:30only creative chaos.
13:31He didn't need to create the universe
13:33and everything in it in just six days.
13:35That is manic behavior.
13:36He was clearly on coke.
13:38That is the only explanation for why we have things
13:41like the pink fairy armadillo,
13:44an animal that looks like a shrimp tail
13:4569-ing a dead chicken.
13:47And when ADF's leaders are talking among themselves,
13:50they'll sometimes express amazement
13:52at how well they've done.
13:54My view was, I wanted ADF to be bigger than the ACLU
13:58in every measure.
13:59Staff, funding, cases, impact,
14:03and the fear we strike in the hearts of our opponents.
14:06And so...
14:08In a Christ-like way.
14:09In a Christ-like way, yeah.
14:10Christian love, Christian love, kill, kill, kill.
14:12Wow, that is quite the sentiment.
14:14Though I will admit, Christian love is not
14:16Christian love, kill, kill, kill,
14:19would be a spectacularly good metal band name.
14:22And while that was from eight years ago,
14:24ADF's influence has only grown since then.
14:26Even as they've somehow managed to fly under the radar.
14:30Because while everyone knows who, say, the NRA are
14:33and what they stand for,
14:34ADF has somehow avoided that level of notoriety,
14:38which has worked very much in their favor.
14:40So given that, tonight, let's look at the Alliance
14:43defending freedom, their history, their playbook,
14:45and what they're targeting next.
14:47And let's start with how they came to be.
14:49ADF was originally called the Alliance Defense Fund.
14:52It was launched in 1994 by prominent evangelicals
14:55who decided to create an endowment to pay for lawyers
14:58who could take on the ACLU and its ilk.
15:00One of its key founders was James Dobson,
15:03a man who looks less like a real person
15:05and more like AI's answer to the question,
15:06what do they look like without their hoods?
15:09We've talked about Dobson before in our piece on Mike Pence.
15:14He's the founder of Focus on the Family.
15:16Over the years, he's, among other things,
15:17discouraged interracial marriage,
15:19argued one reason spanking children fails
15:22is that the spanking may be too gentle,
15:24and has warned that gay marriage is a slippery slope
15:27that can lead to this.
15:28How about group marriage?
15:30Or marriage between daddies and little girls?
15:32How about marriage between a man and his donkey?
15:35Anything allegedly linked to civil rights will be doable.
15:40If I may quote James Dobson every time he comes,
15:43Jesus fucking Christ.
15:46That is preposterous for many reasons,
15:49but whenever bigots do that,
15:51I kind of want them to keep playing it out.
15:53Wait, if gay people get married, next thing,
15:55am I going to have to go to a wedding
15:57between a man and his donkey?
15:58What gift do I even get them?
16:00They're rinsing up Bloomingdale's and PetSmart.
16:03That's ridiculous, and what if I show up late?
16:04Do I have to sit on the bride's side?
16:06It smells like shit over there.
16:08And if I run out of the human meal option,
16:10what do I eat then? Eat a plate of hay?
16:13Do I have to eat a plate of hay with a fork?
16:16Let me get this straight.
16:17You're going to make me wear a tuxedo,
16:19eat hay with a fork, drink wine out of a trough,
16:21and watch a father donkey dance,
16:23all because we made gay marriage legal?
16:25No, thank you very much.
16:27Not on my watch.
16:29-♪ ♪ -♪
16:32To head the new organization,
16:34Dobson turned to a man named Alan Sears,
16:36who led the organization from its founding to 2017.
16:39And during his time there,
16:40it argued for state laws criminalizing gay sex,
16:43and later against laws that legalized gay marriage.
16:46He also co-authored a book called
16:47The Homosexual Agenda, which sadly,
16:49isn't nearly as fun as you want it to be.
16:51In it, he described gay rights as the principal threats
16:55to religious freedom, and wrote that gay activists
16:57were engaging in a war of propaganda,
16:59just as Hitler did so masterfully in Nazi Germany.
17:03One spectacular review of the book on Amazon said,
17:06why are heterosexuals so obsessed with homosexual sex?
17:10I think heterosexual sex is preposterous,
17:12but I don't feel the need to write a book about it.
17:15I just don't do it.
17:16Therefore, this book isn't gay enough for my tastes,
17:19I'm afraid.
17:20Pity, which is just a perfect review.
17:23Your book sucks, you're obsessed with me, be gayer.
17:26That one-star review gets five stars from me.
17:30The point is, from ADF's outset,
17:33attacking the rights and dignity of gay people
17:35was at the center of its work,
17:37along with rolling back access to abortion,
17:39and giving Christians more leeway
17:41to discriminate against someone who offends their faith.
17:43And those ideals have not changed,
17:45even as the organization has massively grown.
17:48It now has more than 450 employees
17:50in domestic and international offices,
17:52as well as 5,000 network attorneys
17:55who work on their behalf.
17:56They also run a training program
17:58called the Blackstone Legal Fellowship,
18:00and a recent count found more than 60 Blackstone alumni
18:03were clerking on federal courts, including 18 on appeals courts.
18:07Fun fact, a frequent speaker at that Blackstone Fellowship
18:10was Amy Coney Barrett,
18:11who was paid to speak there five times,
18:13and yet, at her Supreme Court confirmation hearing,
18:15said that nothing about any of my interactions
18:18with anyone involved in the Blackstone program
18:20were ever indicative of any kind of discrimination
18:22on the basis of anything,
18:23which I find a little hard to believe,
18:27given that at the time she was lecturing there,
18:28the program's recommended reading list included
18:31the homosexual agenda.
18:32And I'm not saying that she read that book.
18:34I'm just saying a room full of people who have
18:37seen it before are going to give you a vibe,
18:40and it is not, maybe see you at Pride.
18:43And it's not just Coney Barrett with ADF Connections.
18:47Current Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson,
18:49worked for them for nearly a decade.
18:50Here he is in 2005 as their senior legal counsel,
18:53appearing on Fox News to do the critically important job
18:56of defending the right to say Christmas
18:58before being bumped for more pressing news stories.
19:01We've seen a great backlash against retailers
19:04who have banned the saying of Merry Christmas,
19:05and certainly more and more Americans are realizing
19:08how easy it is to stand up against this improper censorship.
19:12Many people are visiting our website at saychristmas.org,
19:16and they're learning the facts,
19:17learning what the law really says,
19:18and that's a big step in this.
19:20Mike Johnson, senior attorney and spokesman
19:21for the Alliance Defense Fund, thank you very much.
19:24Thank you, Judge. It's been a pleasure.
19:25Coming up, an explosion hits a nuclear plant.
19:28Those details in just a moment.
19:29And Penwin's fight the holiday weight gain.
19:31Find out how they do it.
19:33Oh, so cute.
19:35First, tough break getting bumped by a explosion
19:38at a nuclear plant.
19:40But an even tougher break for that explosion getting bumped
19:43for a story about thick-ass penguins.
19:45Which, by the way, aren't fighting
19:47the holiday weight gain, you fucking heathens.
19:50They're fighting the Christmas weight gain.
19:52You heard Mike Johnson. Saychristmas.org.
19:55But it wasn't just war on Christmas stuff.
19:58While at ADF, Johnson also advocated
20:00for the criminalization of gay sex,
20:02and wrote op-eds saying things like,
20:03homosexual relationships are inherently unnatural,
20:06and that if society protects such relationships,
20:08polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others
20:11will be next in line to claim equal protection.
20:14So, that is who they are at their core.
20:17But how are they so successful at getting things done?
20:20Well, one major way is through the sheer volume
20:23of legislation they draft.
20:24Last year alone, they worked on over 100 bills
20:27in 24 states and in Congress,
20:29of which 25 wound up being enacted into law.
20:32And back when states were first passing
20:33so-called bathroom bills,
20:35restricting trans people's access,
20:36reporters noted many used language strongly similar
20:40to model legislation drafted by ADF,
20:42with at least one state's law being a word-for-word copy.
20:46The Dobbs case actually originated
20:48with a Mississippi law that was born out of a model bill
20:51drafted by ADF.
20:53It banned abortions after 15 weeks,
20:55a specific cutoff chosen because they were trying
20:58to find the magic number of weeks
21:00that might force the Supreme Court
21:01to reconsider Roe.
21:02Basically, the idea was to pass a law
21:05that would then trigger a lawsuit
21:07that would then get you to the Supreme Court.
21:09And everyone knew that at the time,
21:11to the point that even as Mississippi's governor
21:14signed it, he said this.
21:15Yeah, we'll probably be sued here in about a half hour.
21:19That'll be fine with me.
21:23Okay, first, everyone in that video
21:26looks like they've made someone's shift
21:27at the Cheesecake Factory a living hell.
21:29But second, of course he is fine with being sued.
21:33That's one of the things Governor Phil Bryant's
21:35most comfortable with, alongside reportedly
21:37helping Brett Favre secure welfare funding
21:39for a new volleyball stadium at the university
21:41where Favre's daughter plays.
21:43Now, Bryant will tell you that is a complete
21:45misrepresentation of what happened.
21:47In fact, he cares so much that this be corrected
21:49that he sued Mississippi Today and Sports Illustrated
21:52for writing about it, and he definitely won't like
21:54that I just repeated it here, to which I would say,
21:57we'll probably be sued here in half an hour,
21:59and that'll be fine with me.
22:01But the larger point is, ADF had a strategy
22:06from start to finish for Dobbs, and it worked.
22:09And the final key component of the group's success
22:12is selling their desired outcome to the general public,
22:14which often involves foregrounding
22:16sympathetic individuals whose liberty
22:18they present as being violated.
22:20ADF goes out of its way to craft wholesome-sounding stories
22:24that present their story as a positive one.
22:26Stories that present their side as the victims.
22:29Here's Kristen Waggoner spelling it out.
22:31We need to win back culture, and I would say,
22:35we need you to engage, to tell the stories
22:38in a winsome way. Accurate, but winsome.
22:41Be a storyteller, and tell the narrative,
22:44because we win when the truth gets out.
22:47Right. It wants its stories to be told in a winsome way,
22:50which means portraying themselves as advocates
22:52for upstanding Americans whose individual liberties
22:55are being held on. Not, ideally, a bunch of lawyers
22:58in a conference room saying,
22:59-"Christian love, kill, kill, kill." -$KILL, KILL, KILL
23:01But hearing, we win when the truth gets out
23:04is a little hard to take, given ADF's relationship
23:07to the truth can be shaky at best.
23:09For instance, a few years back, they pushed for a ban
23:11on trans athletes in youth sports in Arizona.
23:14A key part of that push was this testimony
23:16from a teenage girl named Grace about what had happened
23:19to her team at her state softball tournament.
23:22We stepped onto the field motivated to go in
23:24and to show our prowess and to display how hard we'd trained.
23:26But that spirit of determination was quickly dampened
23:29with one of confusion and doubt when we discovered
23:31that our opponents were fielding a biological male
23:34who identified as a female.
23:35Our entire team's focus and motivation was affected
23:37as we grappled with the impact of this new player.
23:40Sure enough, our opposing team won.
23:42The boy gave them an edge, both physically and mentally,
23:44that we couldn't match.
23:46I'd heard stories like this happening to other girls
23:48in other states, but I never expected it would happen
23:50at my school.
23:51Well, I've got great news for you.
23:53It didn't happen at your school at all,
23:56because it turned out there was no trans girl
23:58on the opposing team.
23:59That team's coach even told us they only thought
24:01she was trans because she had short hair and was good.
24:04And while Grace's team did lose, they also lost 16-6.
24:09An ass whooping so bad, no one player could be responsible
24:13for it.
24:14And on top of all that, Grace isn't just
24:16any old high schooler.
24:17It turns out she's actually the daughter
24:19of Kristen Wagoner.
24:20She's basically the ultimate transphobic nepo-baby,
24:23or to put it more winsomely, transphobic person
24:26of nepotistic descent.
24:28But it's not just anecdotes.
24:31When pushing anti-trans bills, ADFs loudly cited
24:34eye-catching studies and research.
24:36When one Georgia county was debating whether to allow
24:38trans students to use the bathroom of their choice,
24:41an ADF member addressed the board of education there
24:44and told them that science showed,
24:46for the vast majority of trans kids,
24:48it was actually just a phase.
24:50The American College of Pediatricians
24:52just put out an article stating that if children will get
24:57through their, um, through puberty, 98% of boys
25:03will return to their biological sex.
25:0698% when they make it through puberty
25:12will go back to their biological sex
25:15and this gender confusion will be cured.
25:17Wow, that is a shocking statistic.
25:20Almost as shocking as hearing that 79% of sea turtles
25:22have insomnia, 45% of Americans feel sexual pleasure
25:26when their belly button is touched,
25:28and 98% of celebrities who go through
25:30the Jennifer Hudson Spirit Tunnel report
25:31loving their experience.
25:33It turns out it's easy to be shocking
25:35when you're spewing total bullshit.
25:37Because while the American College of Pediatricians
25:39sounds like a prestigious organization,
25:42that's because their name sounds like
25:44the American Academy of Pediatrics.
25:46That is the group that makes recommendations for policy
25:49based on the vast experience of its 67,000 members.
25:52This one, however, is a tiny group
25:55founded in 2002 by conservative physicians
25:57opposed to same-sex adoption,
25:59and who've since provided ADF with custom-made
26:01talking points on trans issues.
26:03And it's worth knowing, researchers and doctors
26:06have repeatedly called this group out
26:08for misrepresenting data.
26:09For example, if you trace that 98% figure
26:13all the way back to its source,
26:14you'll find it comes from this 1987 book
26:17with a striking title that, as a Yale pediatrician told us,
26:22was actually about a study of a small group of boys
26:24who were viewed as mentally ill
26:26and subject to conversion tactics
26:27because they weren't stereotypically masculine.
26:30So it wasn't in any way the comprehensive study
26:33of trans kids that guy just claimed.
26:35It honestly sounds more like an institutionalized attempt
26:38to make a few dozen boys in the 80s feel bad
26:40about whatever they felt during the volleyball scene
26:42in Top Gun.
26:44But maybe the best way to see ADF's game plan
26:48is to look at their attempts to weaken laws
26:50banning discrimination against gay and trans people.
26:53They've taken multiple runs at this in the Supreme Court.
26:56Their first attempt came a decade ago
26:58in the Masterpiece Cake Shop case.
27:00You may remember it. It concerned Jack Phillips,
27:02who refused to create a wedding cake for a gay couple.
27:05His refusal violated Colorado's anti-discrimination law,
27:09and he did media appearance after media appearance,
27:12usually with Waggoner right by his side,
27:14telling the story of how this was really fundamentally
27:17a matter of cake principles.
27:19Well, first of all, I'd like to say that I serve everybody
27:22who comes into my store, including David and Charlie.
27:25People of all walks of life are always welcome in my store.
27:28It's just that there are certain messages that I don't create.
27:31Um, like, I don't produce cakes for Halloween.
27:35I don't do cakes for, um, that will promote sexual things
27:40or anti-American things.
27:42Um, things that would disparage other people,
27:45including members of, that identify,
27:47customers that identify as LGBT.
27:49So people who want to... Has anybody asked you for a cake
27:51that would disparage LGBT?
27:53Yes, they have.
27:54Really? People want cakes
27:55that discriminate against gay people?
27:58Yeah. Um, I've had a few of those,
28:00and, uh, I'd turn those down as well
28:02because it's a message that I can't create.
28:04Okay, first, sure, that happens.
28:06But second, I do wish that Megyn Kelly,
28:10sorry about the jump scare there, by the way,
28:12had actually just let him keep describing his other cake rules.
28:16No Halloween cakes, no gay cakes,
28:18no unicorn cakes, because horned two-penis,
28:21no Harry Potter cakes, because witches,
28:23but yes to J.K. Rowling cakes for all other reasons,
28:25and no Sesame Street cakes,
28:27because what we can all see with our own two eyes.
28:31ADF argued that Phillips wasn't denying service,
28:34just declining to promote the message of same-sex marriage,
28:37which is ridiculous on its face, but especially because,
28:40according to a state investigation,
28:41his business had actually turned down
28:43approximately six same-sex couples,
28:45including a lesbian couple that just wanted to purchase
28:48cupcakes for their family commitment ceremony.
28:50And when one of those women called back
28:52and claimed to be a dog breeder,
28:54and stated she planned to host a dog wedding
28:56between one of her dogs and a neighbor's dog,
28:58Phillips apparently did not object.
29:00What is more, when a different lesbian couple spoke to him
29:03to discuss why he wouldn't create a cake
29:05for their commitment ceremony, he told them,
29:06he is not willing to make a cake
29:08for a same-sex commitment ceremony,
29:09just as he would not be willing to make a pedophile cake.
29:12And while it is not remotely the point,
29:15what would a pedophile cake...
29:17-...even be? -...even be?
29:20Legally, I'm apparently not allowed to say
29:22it's a giant wooden cake that Drake jumps out of,
29:24so I'm not gonna say that.
29:26I'm just saying it's a weird thing to bring up
29:28in the first place.
29:29Now, Phillips' case was heard at the Supreme Court,
29:33but his ruling was narrow, and didn't offer ADF
29:36a clear precedent that Christian business owners
29:39who offered an artistic product could deny services
29:41to LGBT couples.
29:43So, they took another swing at the issue
29:45with a similar case, this time involving
29:47a Colorado website designer, Lori Smith,
29:49who refused to make wedding sites for gay couples.
29:53The state of Colorado is forcing me to create
29:56custom, unique artwork, expression,
29:58communicating and celebrating a different view of marriage,
30:02a view of marriage that goes against
30:03my deeply held beliefs.
30:04She wants the Supreme Court to rule that she does not
30:07have to comply with a Colorado law
30:09that prohibits businesses from discriminating
30:11against same-sex couples.
30:13Her lawyer contends it comes down to Lori's role
30:16as a creator and free speech.
30:18It's about whether the government can use
30:20the power of law to force Americans to say things
30:23that they don't believe.
30:25Yeah, it's not about gay marriage,
30:26it's about forcing Americans to say things
30:28they don't believe, which is pretty fucking rich.
30:31Coming from the same people who brought you
30:32saychristmas.org.
30:34Say it! You have to say it!
30:37Smith was just one of several cases ADF brought
30:41all over the country, possibly trying to trigger
30:43a so-called circuit split, where you bring cases
30:45in multiple districts, hoping to get divergent rulings,
30:49which then increases the chances of the Supreme Court
30:51stepping in. That's what happened here.
30:54ADF filed cases involving a photographer from Kentucky,
30:57videographers from Minnesota, and a pair of Arizona artists
31:01who created stationery. And Lori Smith's case
31:03ultimately wound up in the Supreme Court,
31:05which is when reporters started noticing
31:07some weird things about it, like the fact
31:09that it was built on a hypothetical.
31:11As ADF's legal filing stated, Smith was not at that time
31:15in the wedding industry, but just wanted to make sure
31:17that if she entered it, she'd be able to legally
31:20turn down same-sex couples. In fact, at the time
31:23the suit was filed, she'd had no requests
31:25from same-sex couples to design a site.
31:27She did later claim she'd received an inquiry
31:29which oddly arrived the day after her suit
31:32was originally filed. That request was apparently
31:34from someone named Stuart, who'd contacted her
31:36about building a website for his wedding to a man named Mike.
31:39But it turned out, he was actually a straight man,
31:42who at the time the request was sent, had been married
31:45to a woman for nearly a decade, and has since sworn
31:48he'd never requested anything from Lori Smith.
31:50And why would he? Because even if he was secretly engaged
31:54to someone else, which he wasn't, and chose to break
31:57the news of that secret engagement with the creation
31:59of an artistic website, which he wouldn't,
32:01at the very least, he'd probably choose to go
32:04with a wedding website design business
32:06that already existed. But if we're being really honest,
32:08he wouldn't do that either, because he was,
32:10and this is true, a fucking website designer!
32:13And what a phone call that must have been
32:18for him to receive. Guess what, buddy?
32:20Some lady said you're getting gay married,
32:22and now the Supreme Court is involved,
32:24you need to call your wife!
32:26But it doesn't stop there, as other cases
32:30in that flurry of lawsuits were similarly wobbly.
32:33Because while ADF insists our clients are real people,
32:36who had or still have real businesses
32:38with actual operations in the wedding industry,
32:40all real plans to enter it. The Washington Post found
32:43that two of three vendors cited in ADF's petition
32:46to the Supreme Court had stopped working on weddings.
32:49One had actually moved away from where the case was filed
32:52in Louisville, but ADF claimed she'd still be willing
32:54to take work there, despite it being 600 miles from her home.
32:58Not only that, ADF had also had a hand
33:00in formally establishing companies for some of its clients,
33:03with lawyers associated with the group,
33:04signing incorporation paperwork,
33:06and helping draft company policies.
33:08In one instance, only a month before,
33:10a lawsuit was filed, but none of that mattered.
33:13None of that mattered.
33:15Because when Laurie Smith's case went in front
33:17of the Supreme Court, she won a much broader ruling
33:20than ADF had with the cake shop.
33:22And as Justice Sotomayor wrote in her dissent,
33:24it was a decision that for the first time
33:25in the court's history, grants a business open to the public
33:29a constitutional right to refuse to serve members
33:32of a protected class.
33:34And yet, throughout all these lawsuits,
33:37ADF insisted it was just sticking up for the little guy.
33:40But for all its careful, winsome positioning,
33:44it is worth remembering, this is a group that in 2003
33:47filed a brief with the Supreme Court,
33:48urging them to uphold state bans on sodomy,
33:51and has sought to uphold bans on gay sex in India and Belize,
33:54which still fights for faith-based adoption agencies
33:57that refuse to serve same-sex couples to get public funding,
34:00and that right now is fighting to overturn bans
34:03on conversion therapy.
34:04And however measured their public remarks may be,
34:07it's worth listening to what they can sound like
34:09behind closed doors. Like in this speech from 2020
34:12at their Blackstone Fellowship.
34:14An ADF lawyer introduced a guest lecturer
34:16to help with what he called the theme of the day,
34:18which was how to talk about certain issues
34:21that are awkward, and yet do so winsomely.
34:24She read aloud from a homophobic treatise,
34:27and then offered her own commentary.
34:29Dr. Robert Riley helpfully explains this view
34:32of the human body in a reflection
34:33on the different organs and their limitations.
34:36Male genital organs are perfectly matched
34:38for female genitals.
34:40They are a perfect biological fit.
34:43By contrast, the anus is solely an expiratory organ.
34:47It's an exit, not an entrance.
34:49It is designed to eliminate fecal matter.
34:52When it is used in homosexual intercourse
34:55as a stand-in for the female vagina,
34:57it is being subjected to an activity
35:00for which it is clearly not designed.
35:02And one of the indications of this
35:04is the physical harm that it brings.
35:06End of quote.
35:09Many people still share this understanding
35:11of the human body and wish to see it upheld
35:14as the ideal.
35:15Wow.
35:17Not only is that incredibly dark,
35:19old-timey homophobia,
35:21male genital organs are a perfect biological fit
35:25for female genitals.
35:26I think there are plenty of women who might say,
35:28perfect fit?
35:29I don't want to be mean,
35:32but there is literally room for improvement.
35:36The point is, despite what it says,
35:39each case ADF brings is in service
35:42of their larger world view.
35:43One where abortion and the rights of gays
35:45and trans people are a thing of the past.
35:47And they're going to keep chipping away at those rights,
35:49all while cheerily telling you
35:50that they're doing so in the service of freedom.
35:52Even that charter school case,
35:54the Supreme Court is about to rule on.
35:56The one nominally about charter school funding
35:58may well have a larger endgame.
36:00Because while that school insists it will not deny
36:03admission to any students on the platform,
36:05it will not deny admission to any students
36:07on the basis of sexual orientation,
36:08gender identity, or gender expression.
36:10It also has policies like, on all matters,
36:13the school will interact with students, faculty,
36:15and staff according to their biological sex.
36:18And allowing taxpayer funds to go directly to a school
36:22with policies like that feels like
36:24we're moving another step closer to ADF's ultimate goal
36:27of eliminating LGBTQ American status
36:30as protected class citizens.
36:32So, what can we do?
36:35Given the current state of the courts,
36:37a lot of this is out of our hands right now.
36:39But I do think, at the very least,
36:41there's value in everyone knowing
36:43exactly what we are dealing with here.
36:45Because at least with the NRA,
36:48you understand what its endgame is,
36:50as they will happily tell you right to your face.
36:52It's for a gun to be elected to Congress.
36:54That is what they want.
36:55ADF, though, is something different.
36:58It's worked extremely hard to put a misleadingly friendly face
37:02on what is an utterly hateful ideology.
37:05And it benefits immensely from people not knowing
37:08just how poisonous and disingenuous it is.
37:10But for the record, this is a group that will talk
37:13winsomely about personal liberty,
37:16all while fear-mongering about softball players
37:18that don't exist, shitty studies that don't apply,
37:21and pedophile cakes that no one will ever order.
37:24And it might actually be important for everyone to know
37:28that at the end of the day, ADF at its core
37:31is really a lot like the pews at an imaginary donkey wedding,
37:34which is to say, absolutely full of shit.
37:38And now, this.
37:41And now, more delightfully bizarre musings
37:45from Philly's color commentator, John Kruk.
37:48When do you think they're gonna upgrade the umpire's attire?
37:53Like, their pants, they're pleated?
37:55Like, that went out, like, 30 years ago.
37:58You know what, that is, that's an excellent point.
38:00That pleats did go out.
38:01Yeah, pleats are out.
38:03Look, he's looking at them. He's agreed.
38:05He's saying, you know what, John, you're right.
38:07These do look like crap.
38:08Had a nice conversation with Nick on the bus last night.
38:11Was it about RBIs?
38:12It was not about anything related to baseball, Tom.
38:14We were discussing colonoscopies.
38:17Yeah.
38:18Wait, who did you watch the game with?
38:20Now, who'd you go squirrel hunting with?
38:21Ruel Hollis-Martin.
38:23Ruel Hollis-Martin.
38:24Yep. Great shortstop, driven by the Dodgers.
38:27Really? Yeah.
38:29And he had a farming incident where he cut off part of his finger.
38:33Oh, man.
38:34I'm going to talk to this kid.
38:36I ain't got nothing else to do.
38:38See if he can scare him.
38:41Hey!
38:43Malachi with the call.
38:45He don't miss us.
38:47I love that name.
38:49It's a good name.
38:50When you and I have a child together,
38:51we should name him Malachi.
38:55That's a good shot there.
38:57Sorry, John.
38:59I said that out loud.
39:00I don't care what he...
39:02Did you tell him that?
39:03Since he's a Mets fan, I hope he chokes a little bit.
39:07One and one.
39:08But since he's your son, I hope it's not fatal.
39:12Thank you, John.
39:13You're welcome.
39:16That's our show. Thanks so much for watching.
39:19Good night.
39:27♪♪
39:37♪♪
39:57♪♪
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