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00:00That's it. That's £6.40. £10, thank you very much. £3.60 change, thank you.
00:06There we are.
00:08Oh dear. Oh dear.
00:11Old Alibaba's a bit off course, isn't he? Look.
00:16Morning, Abdul. All right, are you? Very nice. There we are.
00:19That's a change of life. See you again. Hello.
00:21Now, sir, what can I do you for, sir?
00:23I want mouse.
00:25Mouse? Mouse? What do you think? This is a pet shop?
00:27Chocolaty Mouse. Chocolaty Mouse? Chocolaty Mouse.
00:32Oh, chocolate mouse. You want a chocolate mouse?
00:34No, no. Mouse. Yes, mouse.
00:37No, no, no. We say chocolate mouse.
00:38Now, we haven't got chocolate mice here. You have to go sweet shop for them.
00:41No, not mice. Mouse.
00:43Mice, my friend, is the plural of mouse, you see.
00:45Chocolaty Mouse. Chocolaty Mouse, that.
00:47Oh, that is chocolate mousse. Chocolate mousse, you mean, is it? Chocolate mousse?
00:50Chocolaty Mouse. No, no, no. That's called chocolate mousse.
00:54Chocolaty Mouse. Yeah, that's, yeah, er, yeah, say, well, you could call it that.
00:57Well, I mean, er, you can call it what you like, can't you, really?
01:01Yes, once you call it in, I'll say that.
01:03Very good, so I'll wrap it up. What next?
01:05Er, purry. Curry? Purry. Purry. Purry. Purry. Purry. Purry. Pur-p-p-p-purry.
01:10Yeah. Tomato purry. Tomato purry. Tomato purry. Tomato purry. Tomato purry.
01:15Oh, tomato purry. Oh, tomato purry. That's what you mean, tomato purry.
01:20No, tomato purry. Tomato... No, no, I must correct you on this way.
01:23The pronunciation, the correct pronunciation is tomato purry.
01:31Tomato purry. Now, where the... Molly!
01:33Are we out of tomato purry, love? Tomato purry.
01:36Are we out of what? Tomato purry. Oh, it's all right. It's right here.
01:39It's right here under me nose. There we are.
01:40So one jar of very nice tomato purry. There we are.
01:42Are you two drunk? Shut up and clear up.
01:46Apologies on behalf of the wife, sir.
01:48Soda? Yeah, that's what I say, yeah.
01:52Soda. Soda. Soda. Yeah.
01:54Soda. Oh, yes. Soda.
01:56Bicker bonnet of soda. Oh, bicker bonnet of...
01:58Oh, we're back on the list, are we? The bicker bonnet of soda.
02:01Very good. Bicker bonnet of soda.
02:03Bicarbonate of soda.
02:05Bicarbonate of soda. Very... They have their uses, don't they, sir?
02:07Yes, sir. There we are. Bicker bonnet of soda, sir.
02:09Yes, anybody else? Bicker bonnet, yes.
02:11Jewish?
02:11Who are? No, she looks a bit Jewish, but she's not.
02:15We're not Chinaman.
02:17We're not Chinaman. We're both sea of ees.
02:19Sea of ees. Sea of ees. Sea of ees.
02:21You're not sea of ees. She's not sea of ees, are you?
02:24You're a Muslim, aren't you?
02:25No, sea of ees. Sea of ees.
02:26Sea of ees. Sea of ees.
02:27Sea of ees.
02:28Coffee!
02:29I mean sea of ees.
02:30Oh, sea of ees.
02:31Where is it, dear?
02:32Well, it's over where it always is. By the Jews, like.
02:34Jewish. Jewish.
02:35Oh, that's the Jewish, isn't it?
02:36Oh, that's the Jewish, I see.
02:37What flavour Jewish would you like, sir?
02:39Um, a priget.
02:40A priget, oh, yes.
02:41A priget Jewish.
02:42A priget Jewish.
02:42A priget Jewish.
02:42A priget Jewish.
02:43A priget Jewish.
02:43What?
02:43Cinnamon.
02:44Oh, cinnamon Chinaman. Oh, she's found a Chinaman for you.
02:46That's very nice.
02:48A priget Jewish, yes.
02:49A priget Jewish, yes.
02:49What else would you like?
02:50Tongue.
02:51Not at all, so my pleasure.
02:52No, no, no, no.
02:54No, not the pleasure. Tongue-yew.
02:56Tongue-yew.
02:56Tongue-yew.
02:58Enough Tongue-yew.
02:59Oh, a tin of Tongue-yew.
03:00Tongue-yew.
03:00Oh, there we are. Look, there we are.
03:01The Bront.
03:02The Bront Tongue.
03:03Is that the one?
03:03Yes, there we are.
03:04The Bront Tongue.
03:05What else, then?
03:06Um, a pea.
03:07Pardon?
03:08Pea.
03:09Tindle frozen.
03:11Pea. I'm not talking.
03:13Pea.
03:14Pea.
03:14Oh, I know.
03:15Pea. I want pea.
03:16Yes, of course, yeah.
03:17I want pea.
03:17Well, look, you go out here.
03:20No, no, no, please, not that.
03:22Pea.
03:23Pea.
03:23Pea.
03:24Villandum pea.
03:25Villandum pea.
03:25Villandum pea.
03:26Villandum pea.
03:27Oh, Villandum pea.
03:29Villandum pea, yes.
03:30A nice, a nice slicky of that.
03:32So, there we are.
03:33Villandum pea.
03:33Now, come on, give me a really hard one.
03:35Come on, son, now.
03:36Give me a hard one.
03:36I want, I want a soup.
03:38Soup.
03:39Soup.
03:39Ah, ha, ha.
03:40Now, I'm catching on to this.
03:41You want soup to wash your hands with, don't you?
03:44Yeah.
03:45Right.
03:45Well, we don't sell that, so you have to go down the chemist.
03:47He's a very nice bloke.
03:48He'll cure anything.
03:49Mamalady.
03:50Yes, he'll cure your malady for you, yes.
03:52Mamalady.
03:53Mamalady.
03:54Mamalady.
03:55Mamalady.
03:56Mamalady for the two-ast.
03:58For the two-ast?
03:59For the two-ast.
04:00The two-ast at the break fast, with the C of E on the two-ast.
04:04Oh, I've got you.
04:05Oh, I've got you.
04:06A nice cup of C of E, a couple of slices of two-ast, with the mamalady on the top, spread
04:11on it.
04:13There we are.
04:14Mamalady, that's the stuff.
04:15There we are.
04:16Anything else, son?
04:17Cack.
04:18Pardon?
04:19Cack.
04:19Cack.
04:20Cack.
04:20Cack.
04:21Cack.
04:21Oh, yes, cack.
04:22Very good.
04:23There we are.
04:24One Sierra Lees, a very own chocolate cack.
04:26That's the one, isn't it?
04:27You've got to do lots, huh?
04:29Cacolity cack.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Cacolity cack.
04:31Cacolity mousse.
04:32Yep.
04:32Tomato parry.
04:33Wickerbundum thotter.
04:34Jewish Chinaman.
04:35C of E.
04:35A cricket juice.
04:36Tongue pea soup.
04:37Mamalady.
04:38And the cack.
04:39Ah, wonderful.
04:40300 pounds.
04:44That's it.
04:45Oh, lovely.
04:46Four pea chains.
04:47Oh, no, please.
04:47No.
04:49No, please.
04:49No de-chain.
04:50Oh, no change.
04:50All right.
04:51Sorry.
04:51Okay.
04:51Now, thank you very much.
04:53I now go to Habdi-Sherry.
04:55Oh, Habdi-Sherry.
04:55You're going down the booze of a quick one, aren't you?
04:57No, no.
04:57No, no, not the booze.
04:58Habdi-Sherry.
04:59Habdi-Sherry.
05:00The Habdi-Sherry for the clothing.
05:01Oh, haberdashery.
05:02Habdi-Sherry.
05:04Habdi-Sherry.
05:05Yes, I have got to get large brass ears for my wife.
05:10Brass ears?
05:11No, not brass ears.
05:12Brass ears.
05:13Oh, brass ears.
05:14Brass ears.
05:16Yes, for my wife.
05:17She needs large brass ears because her tights are enormous.
05:20Oh, ha.
05:21No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.