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  • 5/16/2025
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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
01:30The readings are off the scale.
01:46No sign of it.
01:54Professor, he's coming back.
02:26Where did you say you've kept it all these years?
02:28I didn't.
02:29Sorry, I didn't mean to pry.
02:31But I can't help wondering about the civilizations on other worlds.
02:35Their great achievements.
02:36Their brilliant minds.
02:38I'm giving you geeks ten seconds before I frank everything in sight.
02:46One, ten.
02:47Not you, Squeak.
03:00Yeah.
03:03Hey, Robo.
03:05Long time, no fee.
03:07Emperor Spooge knows it was you what pilfered his treasury, Squeak.
03:11He's paying me to bring the dough back in a nice little pile.
03:15What about me?
03:16Same deal.
03:17Framed.
03:18I was framed.
03:21Is that so?
03:23No.
03:23No.
03:24Hey, leave my little brother alone.
03:32Well, if it ain't Na Vermin and his roach motel rejects, don't tell me you're after this bounty too.
03:39If anyone's gonna collect on Squeak, it's gonna be family.
03:43Hand him over.
03:44Sure.
03:49I was hoping I'd see some excitement on this job.
03:55Guess not.
04:09Hold on, Squeak.
04:24Lobo!
04:27Hey, Squeak!
04:39Oh, weasel spit.
04:43Too bad I can't stick around.
05:09Now I'm mad.
05:14Now I'm really mad.
05:20It's always sweeter collecting a reward knowing you'd beat some other geek out of it.
05:26The bounty hunter has entered range.
05:28Proceed.
05:35Holy flankaroli!
05:37Feels like I'm being torn apart.
05:41Cool.
05:49Oh, yeah.
05:50Someone is definitely tired of breathing.
05:53Show yourself, you slimy geek wad.
05:58I am the prisoner.
06:00And I'm the night manager at the Hotel Defrag.
06:03Looky there.
06:04It's checkout time.
06:05Battle, Skizzer!
06:09You are Lobo.
06:10Assassin, brigand, sociopath, monster.
06:14You left out Scourge of the Cosmos.
06:18I'm the most ruthless bounty hunter in the galaxy.
06:22I want to hire you.
06:24Sorry, dude.
06:25I'm already on a job.
06:27Hey!
06:28Your prisoner will be held until you return.
06:31Besides, this job should be no great task to one with your skills.
06:37Behold, gathered here are the rarest creatures in the universe.
06:42Each the last survivor of its race.
06:45So you got a thing for varmints.
06:48So what?
06:49Many years ago, the planet Krypton was destroyed.
06:54I had long believed all members of the Kryptonian race were extinct.
06:58Until I found evidence of one living on a distant world called Earth.
07:03Looks like a first-class wimp to me.
07:06He's more than he appears.
07:08Sluggo, I got better ways to waste my time than rounding up bugs for your flea circus.
07:13So if you'll hand over the rent, I'll cancel the homemade colostomy I'm planning to inflict on your tiny wrinkle.
07:20Oh, mama!
07:23That's a lot of Mai Tais.
07:25Hooah!
07:28You deliver the last Kryptonian, and the jewels are yours.
07:32Do we have a bargain?
07:34Tose down a cage, boss.
07:36You're getting a new monkey.
07:43Remember those blurry photos of UFOs that looked like garbage pail lids?
07:47Well, we finally got one that's as clear as it is confusing.
07:51After careful analysis, experts agree it's a scroungy biker on a flying motorcycle.
07:56Yeah, right.
07:59Hey, how's it going, Chief?
08:01Maybe you can help me.
08:02I'm new in town, and I'm looking to find this geek here.
08:06Superman?
08:07We don't keep tabs on him.
08:08He only shows up if there's trouble.
08:11I can do trouble.
08:17I'm confused, Kent.
08:21See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life,
08:24and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.
08:29Well, Lois, the truth is I'm actually Superman in disguise,
08:33and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen,
08:37and then squeeze you out of the byline.
08:39You're a sick man, Kent.
08:41You asked.
08:42Yeah, Elaine.
08:57What?
08:58I'll be right there.
09:00Some lunatics just opened fire on the Midtown police station.
09:05Oh, no, you don't, Kent.
09:06Not this time.
09:07Oh, this is getting lame.
09:20I thought he'd be here by now.
09:22Whoa, mosquito!
09:23Oh, no!
09:27Oh, no!
09:28Oh!
09:37Time to up the ante, I'm thinking.
09:49Finally!
09:49I've been trying to get in touch with you all day.
09:52Who are you?
09:53Oh, I'm sorry.
09:54My card.
09:59The name's Lobo.
10:00That's L as in lacerate,
10:02O as in obliterate,
10:03B as in disembowel,
10:05and O as in, uh...
10:06Oh, I guess I can use obliterate twice, huh?
10:09What do you think?
10:10I think you're a certifiable madman.
10:13Huh?
10:16Thanks.
10:26Superman!
10:27All clear!
10:27All clear!
10:27Now you ankle suckers are playing dirty!
10:40I'm losing it!
10:42Go on!
10:43Under!
10:45Stay back!
10:47What is it?
10:48I don't know.
10:49I've never seen a creature like this.
10:52I love you too.
10:53First rule of hunting, super-dude.
10:58Make the target come to you.
11:04Good advice.
11:05Good advice.
11:05Hey!
11:33No rioters!
11:34Stop here, driver.
11:38There they are.
11:43I don't believe it.
11:54Believe me, Mr. President.
11:56You have my word that my new weapon system will...
11:59What the devil?
12:04I don't believe it.
12:34Hey, man, I gotta say I am impressed when I seen you go after that rocket I couldn't figure what you were doing
12:57Then it hit me you didn't want no one else getting hurt even if you took the frag in yourself
13:02You actually care about them geeks. They're human beings
13:06Yeah, well, they're gonna have to make do without their big blue babysitter from now on
13:12See, someone's paid me a heap of cash for your carcass and the main man always delivers
13:24Now the more you move the worse it'll hurt so feel free to go crazy
13:28Excuse me
13:30Leave him alone. Go on. Get out of here
13:34Well, little lady. Hello
13:37Lois, stay back
13:40Pipe down, Junior
13:43Lois, huh? Guess that means you know this loser, right, honey buns? You his girlfriend or something?
13:51Drop dead
13:52Of course, any babe with class would rather be hanging with the main man
14:08Why don't you show old Lobo how classy you are?
14:11You pig! Ow!
14:13I like a babe who plays rough
14:15Come on, let me have another
14:17Right here, right here
14:19Dirty frag it, rat frag it
14:22Get maintenance teams on every floor
14:25Put them on round-the-clock shifts if you have to but I want all repairs completed
14:27Kill, red frag destroyed! Immediately!
14:31Are you all right?
14:33I'm fine, gotta go
14:35Give him one for me
14:36Make it a dozen!
14:37Last call? Already? Uh oh
14:45Get up. I said get up. You ain't half the boy scout you're cracked up to be. Looks like I'm in for a real fight.
14:50Uh-oh.
14:58Get up.
14:59I said get up.
15:01You ain't half the boy scout you're cracked up to be.
15:04Looks like I'm in for a real fight.
15:14Think I'll take five until I'm ready to resume kicking the collective butts of you and everyone else on this donkey.
15:20Ciao.
15:32But you've never tested a vehicle in deep space before, let alone under combat conditions.
15:37I can't risk that maniac coming back to Earth, Professor.
15:40I've got one chance to drive him away and I'm taking it.
15:44Sensors have picked up his bike's ion trail.
15:47He's close.
15:49But I can't get a definite fix.
15:57Ding dong! Lobo calling!
15:59Hi there.
16:17Ding dong!
16:18Ding dong!
16:19Ding dong!
16:20Ding dong!
16:21Ding dong!
16:22Ding dong!
16:23Ding dong!
16:24Ding dong!
16:25Ding dong!
16:26Ding dong!
16:27Ding dong!
16:28Ding dong!
16:29Ding dong!
16:30Ding dong!
16:31Ding dong!
16:32Ding dong!
16:33Ding dong!
16:34Ding dong!
16:35Ding dong!
16:36Ding dong!
16:37Ding dong!
16:38Ding dong!
16:39Ding dong!
16:40Ding dong!
16:41Ding dong!
16:42Ding dong!
16:43Ding dong!
16:44Ding dong!
16:45I guess the only way to reason with you is to take away your toys.
17:02Hey!
17:03Hands off my hog!
17:05Lobo has lured the Kryptonian into rain.
17:12Excellent.
17:16Fire when ready.
17:27Lights out, Clyde.
17:33Huh?
17:35This can't be.
17:37Krypton?
17:38No, but an incredible simulation.
17:42Let me guess.
17:46You're the one who hired Lobo to get me.
17:48I do what I must to preserve species threatened with extinction.
17:52You are the last Kryptonian, therefore your place is here.
17:57I think not!
17:59Like Krypton's red sun, this light cancels the unnatural abilities given to you by the yellow sun of Earth.
18:07I always strive for complete accuracy.
18:10Swell.
18:11As well.
18:20Hey!
18:21Monkey wanna nana?
18:22When I get out, I'm shoving that arrogant smirk right down your throat.
18:26Oh, yeah.
18:27You know, I believe that Lois gal might be getting a tad lonely now that you're doing time in the cosmic petting zoo.
18:34Maybe I'll go back and cheer her up.
18:37Oh, yeah.
18:39Of course.
18:40I do have to collect the bounty on this geek first.
18:42Emperor Spooge got a bad temper on him.
18:44Adios, Wrinkles.
18:46You want any more rare dork snag?
18:48You got my number.
18:49Actually, there is one other being I need for my collection.
18:53The last Tsarnian.
18:55Ha!
18:56That's rich.
18:57I'm the last Tsarnian.
18:58I fragged the rest of the planet for my high school science project.
19:02Gave myself an A.
19:06Hey!
19:07Hey!
19:08Hey!
19:14You ugly, two-timed, a face-breaker, you!
19:19Just carved your own headstone.
19:22Nobody.
19:23Double crosses, a main man.
19:27Nobody.
19:37One, two-timed.
19:42You ugly, two-timed.
19:46One, two-timed.
19:49You ugly, four-timed.
19:55Theklariny.
19:56Theklariny.
19:59Theklariny.

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