- 15/05/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh, ham and eggs! Thanks, Kate!
00:05Oh, no, Alf, these are for everyone.
00:08Oh.
00:09What?
00:11Actually, I'm in the mood for oatmeal.
00:15I think I'll, uh, get something at work.
00:18I'm gonna have to change my shirt.
00:21Who is it?
00:23It's me, Jake.
00:24Oh, come on in, Jake.
00:26Joy, that's twice my appetite's been killed.
00:29Hey, morning, Jake, your booty.
00:31What brings you over?
00:32Aunt Raquel and Uncle Trevor have been fighting again.
00:35What was it about this time?
00:37Allow me.
00:38Raquel thinks Trevor's a slob,
00:40that he doesn't appreciate her,
00:42and some other female paranoia nonsense.
00:48Hey, you crawl under people's houses, you hear things.
00:59You're so nice.
01:00It's real fun.
01:01Hey, you're so nice to see somebody.
01:02All right, sk***j.
01:03So you'll find theоч speaks or light blue sky.
01:04It might not eat wherever it is,
01:13and if you're sick with 67, I'd be good to eat more.
01:18And it's Repeat which is to encourage.
01:52Jake, would you like to join us for breakfast?
02:02What you having?
02:04Green eggs and ham.
02:06Pass me.
02:09Hey, Tannis, it's me.
02:12Oh, great.
02:13Pig outus interruptus.
02:16Yeah.
02:18Oh, come on in, Trevor.
02:23Oh, what's up?
02:24Ah, nothing much.
02:25And even if there was, I'm not the kind of guy that would burden you with my problems.
02:28Raquel just threw me out.
02:30Oh, Trevor, I'm sorry.
02:32She called me a slob.
02:34We know.
02:36Hey, I didn't tell him.
02:38Who did?
02:38Uh, I did.
02:45Somehow she got the ridiculous idea that she doesn't love me anymore.
02:50So are you looking for a place to stay, Trevor?
02:55Ow!
02:56Oh, leg cramp.
02:58I don't know where I'm going to stay.
03:03Do you know anybody that would kindly put me up for the night?
03:06Well...
03:07Ow!
03:11You can stay here, Trevor.
03:14Oh, well, thanks.
03:15I'll be right back.
03:17Come on, Jake.
03:18Help me pick my clothes off the lawn.
03:19Oh, where does that freeloading sloth get off crashing our party?
03:28I don't know, Alf.
03:29Why don't you have a sloth-to-sloth talk with him?
03:36I can't believe it.
03:38This makes two broken homes I've come from in one year.
03:40I'm a jinx.
03:42Oh, it's not your fault they've had fights before.
03:45Why does Mr. Akamonik have to stay here?
03:49Yeah.
03:49Are there no work farms?
03:51Are there no prisons?
03:54Alf, try to be a little more sensitive.
03:57I am sensitive.
03:59I'm sensitive to the fact I'm looking at another stay in Garage Med.
04:04Hi, Alf.
04:05He's coming back.
04:07I really appreciate this, Kate.
04:11Oh, don't mention it.
04:12And don't worry.
04:13I'm sure this will all blow over in about a week or two.
04:17Trevor, when you asked if we could put you up for the night,
04:21we assumed you meant for the night.
04:23That's another thing Raquel hates about me.
04:26I'm vague.
04:28You can use Brian's room.
04:29He can double up with Lynn.
04:30No way.
04:31I'll take that deal.
04:33No way.
04:35Hey, maybe you and Willie could sleep in Brian's room.
04:37No way.
04:39What a bummer.
04:41Just don't snore.
04:42It's like sleeping with a buzzsaw.
04:45I'll trade you.
04:46I'll sleep with the buzzsaw.
04:48You sleep with the lawnmower.
04:49Take a step back.
05:02We'll be moving.
05:03Let it move you nice and slow.
05:09Don't run and hide.
05:11Let it out.
05:12Show it's the way to go.
05:14Good morning, Trevor.
05:15Oh, hi, Kate.
05:18Willie, I hope my suburb blaster didn't wake you up.
05:22No.
05:23No.
05:24This was me and Raquel's favorite song.
05:27Boy, that Sinatra could sing.
05:29That sounds like Pink Floyd.
05:32I know that, Willie.
05:34I was making two separate comments.
05:38Did you get enough to eat?
05:40Actually, no.
05:41All I could find was cereal.
05:43When you guys have a midnight snack, you pull out all the stops.
05:47Oh, you didn't do this?
05:49I did.
05:50I had a craving last night.
05:55For green pepper?
05:57They make me drowsy.
05:59Well, I'd offer you a bowl of cereal, except I use the last of the milk.
06:04I'll just go down to the store and get some.
06:09Why do that?
06:10I'll just borrow some from Mrs. Bird.
06:13Oh, there's no need to bother her, Trevor.
06:15Ah, it's okay.
06:16She owes me.
06:17I lent her your hedge clippers, and she never gave them back.
06:20That's how inconsiderate.
06:27I say we lock the door, throw away the key, and move.
06:31I assume that we have you to thank for this mess.
06:37Hey, it was time for my bi-monthly feeding frenzy.
06:41Except he interrupted me.
06:44So this one doesn't count, okay?
06:47It counts.
06:48Okay.
06:48Good morning.
06:50Good morning, Brian.
06:51Lynn.
06:53Feeding frenzy?
06:55Yeah, but this one doesn't count.
06:57It counts!
07:00Brian, how come you're not dressed?
07:02I was too tired.
07:03I didn't get any sleep.
07:05Yeah, we kept on hearing Mr. Achmonic moaning and groaning.
07:08Oh, how could Raquel do this to me?
07:12Oh.
07:13Actually, that was me.
07:15I kept singing Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
07:19This is embarrassing.
07:22Look, let's all just be patient.
07:25It's only been one night.
07:27Yeah, one night.
07:28And we're already at each other's throats.
07:30We're not at each other's throats.
07:33Lean over.
07:36Get back to the garage.
07:38Well, who do I see to file a grievance?
07:41I believe the Alien Task Force is a grievance committee.
07:44I withdraw the question.
07:45Ralph, what are you doing?
07:57Trevor will see you.
07:58Chill out.
07:59He's not here, Cato Rustler.
08:02He got a call saying there was a package for him at the post office.
08:09Could have been a crank call.
08:11You called him, didn't you?
08:13I had to get him out of here, even for an hour.
08:18Raquel's saying stuff like she's never going to take him back.
08:22How do you know what Raquel is saying?
08:24You crawl under people's houses, you hear things.
08:30Now, what?
08:32You know what?
08:34Yeah, Willie, I know what.
08:36But if I have to do it, the least you could do is say it.
08:40Go to the kitchen.
08:46Boy, have I got him trained.
08:50Hey, Willie?
08:54Oh, Raquel, this is a pleasant surprise.
08:57I hope this means that you...
08:58Don't get your hopes up, Willie.
08:59This is more of Trevor's things.
09:00Jake?
09:01No.
09:04Just drop it anywhere.
09:09Oh, that moose head seems awfully final.
09:13It is final.
09:14I saw Trevor sneaking out of the Widow Bird's house this morning.
09:18He couldn't even wait one day before he started slumming it.
09:22That.
09:23No.
09:24He was...
09:24He was at the Widow Bird's to borrow milk.
09:27Raquel, hi.
09:28What's going on?
09:30Moose head.
09:32Oh, no.
09:34Raquel saw Trevor at Mrs. Bird's.
09:37It isn't enough that he's having a sordid affair,
09:39but he has to have it out in the open
09:40where anybody with a decent pair of binoculars can see.
09:45Raquel, he just went over there to borrow some milk.
09:47Well, since you've obviously taken his side,
09:50you can keep him.
09:51Come on, Jake.
09:52You're the man of the house now.
09:54Hey, does this mean I get to watch sports in my underwear?
10:02Hey!
10:03Why didn't you guys tell me we were having moose tonight?
10:06I wouldn't have ruined my appetite.
10:10Oh, Lord.
10:13Please tell us why you continue to play such ordinary people.
10:17In such extraordinary situations.
10:20Ugh.
10:24Never mind.
10:24Hello, Mr. Litwack.
10:37Uh, did you know that the Akmonics are Splitsville?
10:41Well, I care.
10:44Quick question.
10:45Can you put Trevor up for a week?
10:47How about a night?
10:52Well, when is it scheduled to freeze over?
10:560 for 18.
11:05Hello.
11:05Is this Myrna Byrd?
11:14Thank you very much for humiliating me in front of the entire neighborhood.
11:18What do you mean, Raquel?
11:21Calling everybody about Trevor and me.
11:23Just because I occasionally make other people's business my business doesn't mean my business
11:28is any of their business.
11:29So would you mind minding your own business?
11:32Well, I certainly didn't tell anyone.
11:34I know Kate wouldn't tell anyone.
11:36You didn't tell anyone.
11:36Did you, Kate?
11:37Of course not.
11:38Kate didn't tell anyone.
11:39Well, somebody told the Metcalfs, the Polmanskys, the Montenegros, the Gants, the Lustikoffs,
11:45the Metkers, the Fetkers, the Schmitzkys, the Kipkys, the Fines, the Steins, the Lembecks,
11:50the Willers, the Logans, the Hogens, and the Kogans.
11:52So the next time that you want to drag somebody's dirty laundry through the suburban mud,
11:57try your own.
11:59Or better yet, Mrs. Hurlbutz.
12:01She just had a nose job, you know.
12:03Slowly I turn.
12:14I'm going to the garage now.
12:16I'm going to have a word with the town crier.
12:24All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go.
12:29I'm staying in the garage no more.
12:33Do these names ring a bell?
12:46The Metcalfs, the Polmanskys, the Montenegros, the Gants, the Lustikoffs, the Metzgers, the
12:52Fetskers, the Schmitkys, the Kipkys, the Fines, the Steins, the Lembecks, the Willards,
12:56the Hogens, the Logans, and the Kogans.
13:00What was the question?
13:01Before I pull every hair out of your neck, I want to ask you something.
13:11Did you call those people and tell them about Trevor and Raquel?
13:16I declined to answer on the grounds that I need my neck hair.
13:21Just mind your own business, Alf.
13:24In other words, you disapprove of what I've done.
13:26Wholeheartedly.
13:30I know that this is an inconvenience for all of us, but what you're doing is just making
13:36things worse.
13:37You're right, Willie.
13:42How could I have been so blind?
13:44You know, I've only been thinking of myself.
13:47You're not just saying this because of that neck hair business.
13:51No.
13:52No, I mean it.
13:53I've seen the error of my ways and will endeavor to do better.
13:59Well, thank you.
14:01No, thank you, Willie.
14:05Hello?
14:29Hello?
14:30I'd like to order some flowers for a Raquel Achmanek.
14:36I don't know.
14:37Whatever Merlin Olsen would send.
14:39Swing low, sweet chariot, swing low, sweet, sweet chariot, chariot.
14:52Did you know that Shakespeare said once that there's nothing either good or bad, but thinking
15:03makes it so?
15:04Shakespeare never slept on a coal cement slab.
15:09I know.
15:11Well, he is now, but I didn't...
15:12Stop it!
15:16Willie, did you know that there are 9,875 little dots on this ceiling?
15:24You counted them?
15:26No, I guessed.
15:28Hey, Tanner, you in there?
15:30Oh, yeah.
15:31Just a second.
15:32I've had it.
15:35I've had it.
15:36I refuse to budge one inch.
15:42Oh!
15:44I suppose you think you're clever.
15:50What's the idea of sending these flowers to my wife?
15:53Oh, what's the matter, Trevor?
15:55Don't play innocent with me.
15:57You thought by not sending a card, I wouldn't know who they were from.
16:00Well, wait a minute.
16:01If there was no card, what makes you think they were from me?
16:04I called the florist.
16:06He said they were charged to your credit card.
16:08Anybody who would spend $79.95 on another man's wife, plus tax and delivery, is looking
16:15for trouble.
16:17There must be $79.95.
16:23Plus tax and delivery.
16:25There must be some mistake.
16:29Hey, Tanner, the only mistake I made was trusting you.
16:33If I ever catch her near my wife again, I'm moving out of your house.
16:37Is there a chance that you heard any of that?
16:51Well, I've heard enough.
16:54Does Kate know you have a thing for Raquel?
17:00You sent those flowers, didn't you?
17:03Hey, I took a shot.
17:04It obviously didn't work, but I've got another plan that's foolproof.
17:09Stay out of this.
17:13And tired.
17:15I'm just going now.
17:17I'm going to try and straighten things out with Trevor, and when I come back, we'll be
17:21talking neck hair.
17:26Hi, Alf.
17:28Hi.
17:28We've got to find a way to get my aunt and uncle back together.
17:31Too late, Jake.
17:32I can't help you.
17:34I promised Willie I'd stay out of it.
17:37Fine.
17:38Fine.
17:38Just stand on the sidelines and watch me be packed off to live with another bunch of itinerant
17:44Doc Monics, never to be heard from again.
17:47Believe it or not, Aunt Raquel and Uncle Trevor are the best of the lot.
17:52Are you trying to con me into helping you?
17:55Is it working?
17:57Sort of.
17:58What will it take to put you over the top?
18:00Donuts.
18:04What's your idea?
18:05You come up with donuts, I'll come up with the idea.
18:08That's the deal.
18:15Okay, now what's your idea?
18:17Give me another donut and I'll tell you.
18:19Tell me first.
18:20What are we doing in my aunt and uncle's bedroom?
18:22We're looking for a key to their romantic past, if any.
18:28Are you sure Raquel won't be back soon?
18:30She went to the beauty parlor.
18:32Nuff said.
18:36Hey, nice digs.
18:38I never realized your aunt and uncle had so much class.
18:41Hey, there might be something romantic in here.
18:49It's Aunt Raquel's jewelry box.
18:52Ah!
18:53Turquoise alert!
18:54Turquoise alert!
18:55Put that away!
18:56Okay, okay.
18:57Just tell me what we're looking for.
18:58I'll tell you when I found it.
19:01I think I found it.
19:03A lot of paper?
19:05Yeah.
19:06Yeah.
19:06This is it.
19:07Jake, are you home?
19:10It's Aunt Raquel.
19:11Look, you stay here and I'll get rid of her.
19:13Fine, leave the donuts.
19:14Uh, maybe you better hide, just in case.
19:17Gotcha.
19:19Oh, a piece of cheese.
19:22Never mind.
19:26Aunt Raquel, what happened to you?
19:29I went to the beauty parlor.
19:31I hope you didn't leave a tip.
19:33Mrs. Bird and I had a slight altercation.
19:36That hussy was getting gussied up for my husband.
19:40She's got in a fight with her.
19:42Ladies do not fight.
19:43I simply suggested that she keep her meat hooks off of my man.
19:47And if the manicurist hadn't pulled me off her,
19:48I might have gotten in a few more suggestions.
19:50Uh, Aunt Raquel, where are you going?
19:52Upstairs to rest.
19:53Yeah, not on the bed, though.
19:54Of course on the bed.
19:56What is the matter with you?
19:58Uh, nothing.
19:59Nothing.
20:00I guess I'm just distraught.
20:02You know, about you and Uncle Trevor.
20:03I know it's painful, but we have to face the facts.
20:09Trevor just does not understand me.
20:11Raquel!
20:11Go away!
20:13I'm coming up!
20:14You see what I mean?
20:16Everybody down.
20:17What?
20:17The terrorist.
20:19Where's the terrorist?
20:20What are you talking about?
20:22A concerned neighbor called
20:23and said you were being held hostage by a terrorist.
20:26Do you see a terrorist in here?
20:32Fine.
20:33Fine.
20:34Sue me for worrying about you.
20:36Now have a nice life.
20:37Yo.
20:40Yo what?
20:41Uh, yo, yo this, I guess.
20:45What is it?
20:47It's a crumpled piece of paper with writing on it.
20:49That's the poem that your Uncle Trevor wrote to me last year
20:52when we renewed our wedding vows.
20:54Oh, uh, read it, Aunt Raquel.
21:00To Raquel, the most wonderful woman in the world,
21:04you're the meaning of my life, you're the inspiration.
21:08You bring meaning to my life, you're the inspiration.
21:12I want to have you near me,
21:14I want to have you hear me saying,
21:15no one needs you more than I need you.
21:20You threw that away?
21:23Don't you know how long it took me to write that?
21:26You didn't write that.
21:27It's from a song by Chicago.
21:29I mean, it took me a long time to write it down.
21:34Do you think I'm stupid, Trevor?
21:36I knew you didn't write this poem.
21:39And why didn't you call me on it?
21:41Because it didn't matter.
21:43What mattered was is that you gave it to me.
21:46Raquel,
21:46I meant every word I stole.
21:52Well,
21:53I guess times have changed.
21:56Does anybody really know what time it is?
22:00I'm sorry.
22:03I'm just trying to tell you
22:05that I still love you, Raquel.
22:09More than arena football?
22:11I should know better than to try to change you.
22:22Take me back, Raquel.
22:24Hmm?
22:24I promise I'll try not to be a slob.
22:30Although, in all fairness,
22:31you did know I was raised in a barn.
22:33What was that?
22:41Oh!
22:42Leg cramp.
22:44Uh,
22:45why don't we all go get Uncle Trevor's stuff?
22:48Good idea.
22:50Raquel?
22:52I'll carry the moose head.
22:55Well, I missed you, Raquel.
22:57You're a hard habit to break.
23:09Oh, you can come out now, Alf.
23:10Oh, thanks.
23:15You're a lifesaver.
23:16You're more than a lifesaver.
23:18You're a milk dud.
23:21How'd you know about that poem, anyway?
23:24Well, Raquel was reading it to herself last night.
23:28You crawl under people's houses,
23:30you hear things.
23:31Ah!
23:32Ah!
23:33Go now!
23:58Bye!
24:01Bye!
24:02Bye!
24:02Bye!
24:02Ha ha ha ha!
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